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BUFFER. It was like something quiet,
peaceful and mystical,
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00:01:33,760 --> 00:01:36,013
being down there by the river.
3
00:01:36,096 --> 00:01:37,514
Helped you to get away from things,
4
00:01:37,598 --> 00:01:40,601
if things got to be
too difficult, you know.
5
00:01:40,809 --> 00:01:42,769
If Louis Jack was being too hard on me
6
00:01:42,853 --> 00:01:45,814
or if Your Gracie asked
too many questions,
7
00:01:46,857 --> 00:01:49,318
or if I was just needing a rest.
8
00:01:49,901 --> 00:01:51,695
So I'd go down to Hammersmith,
near the bridge,
9
00:01:51,737 --> 00:01:55,198
or maybe take a bus to Richmond
and just read my book,
10
00:01:55,240 --> 00:01:58,827
or maybe think
or just do nothing at all.
11
00:02:00,037 --> 00:02:02,539
Sure, I heard the traffic
roaring around the bridge.
12
00:02:02,664 --> 00:02:06,752
Sure, there was some smoke and stuff
in the air and bits of litter around,
13
00:02:06,877 --> 00:02:09,880
but it was all beautiful
and tranquil country to me.
14
00:02:09,921 --> 00:02:13,050
You and nobody else
can tell me otherwise yet.
15
00:02:13,925 --> 00:02:15,677
I could be just lazy and peaceful
16
00:02:15,719 --> 00:02:19,097
and look at the river
without a care in the world.
17
00:02:20,390 --> 00:02:23,560
There was even a tree or two
on the other side.
18
00:02:24,227 --> 00:02:26,188
I had to go back, sure.
19
00:02:26,229 --> 00:02:29,274
But being down there from time to time
was good for me.
20
00:02:29,399 --> 00:02:31,777
I figure it maybe even saved me.
21
00:02:32,569 --> 00:02:35,781
When I was down there,
Louis Jack was only a dream,
22
00:02:35,906 --> 00:02:37,741
not a reality at all.
23
00:02:38,241 --> 00:02:42,412
And Your Gracie hardly even existed
for me when I was down there.
24
00:02:56,593 --> 00:02:58,303
I imagine my troubles first started
25
00:02:58,428 --> 00:03:00,222
that day I went around
looking tor Your Gracie
26
00:03:00,263 --> 00:03:05,060
and found her there in the laundromat,
trying to pick up some other duffer.
27
00:03:05,435 --> 00:03:08,480
YOUR GRACE: I wasn't trying
to pick up anybody, Duffer, love.
28
00:03:08,605 --> 00:03:11,441
He was just a sweet boy
who reminded me of you.
29
00:03:11,483 --> 00:03:14,444
BUFFER: Oh, I'm not criticising you,
Your Gracie. I don't mind.
30
00:03:14,486 --> 00:03:16,613
YOUR GRACIE: I liked
his gap-toothed face.
31
00:03:16,738 --> 00:03:20,075
And with that old windbag he had there
who kept on screaming at him
32
00:03:20,117 --> 00:03:23,620
to get away from me
as if I had the plague or something,
33
00:03:23,662 --> 00:03:27,624
well, I couldn't do naught
but call her stupid bluff, now, could I?
34
00:03:27,666 --> 00:03:29,751
DU FFER: She called you names,
if I remember.
35
00:03:29,793 --> 00:03:32,421
YOUR GRACE: That she did,
though it don't affect me.
36
00:03:32,462 --> 00:03:34,965
I never let names affect me, love.
37
00:03:35,006 --> 00:03:38,510
Take this advice.
Never let them affect you, neither.
38
00:03:39,177 --> 00:03:42,305
He was a lovely boy in his way,
just like you.
39
00:03:42,806 --> 00:03:46,810
And I thought, since it had been
such a long time since I'd seen you,
40
00:03:46,935 --> 00:03:49,312
maybe I'd remember you if he came home
41
00:03:49,354 --> 00:03:52,607
and had a little jelly of me,
you understand.
42
00:03:53,191 --> 00:03:56,111
I always loved boys, understand?
43
00:03:57,320 --> 00:03:59,489
Having, as I do,
this affliction of mine,
44
00:03:59,531 --> 00:04:03,368
having more jelly than I can cope with,
you do understand.
45
00:04:04,870 --> 00:04:07,706
And my clients being
mostly old men, well...
46
00:04:07,831 --> 00:04:11,460
BUFFER: Well, I'd never hardly
blame you, now, could I?
47
00:04:11,793 --> 00:04:15,839
'(OUR GRACE: I would like to see you
more often, sweet love, I would.
48
00:04:15,881 --> 00:04:18,133
BUFFER". So would I, Your Gracie.
49
00:04:18,175 --> 00:04:21,011
YOUR GRACE: If only you'd leave
that terrible man.
50
00:04:21,052 --> 00:04:25,015
Then you could come and stay
in my flouncy bed forever.
51
00:04:26,808 --> 00:04:29,144
BUFFER. Well, she gave me
a royal welcome,
52
00:04:29,186 --> 00:04:33,398
'cause I hadn't seen her for some time
and was I glad to see her.
53
00:04:33,523 --> 00:04:36,777
Louis Jack had been kind of rough on me,
and I wanted to forget it.
54
00:04:36,860 --> 00:04:39,070
Nothing better than a little jelly
to forget with,
55
00:04:39,196 --> 00:04:40,697
so I thought.
56
00:04:43,116 --> 00:04:45,035
Well, we just sat there chatting away
57
00:04:45,076 --> 00:04:49,539
and she said I could come along
to her place for a treat, if I liked.
58
00:04:49,581 --> 00:04:51,416
She was always like that with me,
59
00:04:51,541 --> 00:04:53,919
let me come and go
with never a question.
60
00:04:54,044 --> 00:04:58,256
But this date, she looked at me hard and
suddenly, she started asking questions,
61
00:04:58,381 --> 00:05:00,300
like, “What's the matter, Duffer, love?“
62
00:05:00,383 --> 00:05:04,221
And, “You don't seem
the same, Duffer, love,“ and so on.
63
00:05:04,387 --> 00:05:06,389
Well, when I told her Louis Jack
had been rough on me,
64
00:05:06,473 --> 00:05:09,601
she said I should leave him,
once and for all.
65
00:05:10,727 --> 00:05:13,146
Well, that hit me where it hurt
66
00:05:14,064 --> 00:05:17,275
because I knew I'd have to leave her,
then, for a while.
67
00:05:17,400 --> 00:05:19,945
I couldn't leave him. He needed me.
68
00:05:21,112 --> 00:05:24,950
But I wanted her, and there she was
crossing over the line.
69
00:05:25,951 --> 00:05:27,953
Crossing over the line.
70
00:05:44,177 --> 00:05:47,430
I was feeling terrible, just awful.
71
00:05:48,473 --> 00:05:51,685
I had nowhere to go,
except back to Louis Jack.
72
00:05:52,018 --> 00:05:55,647
If only Your Gracie hadn't got bossy
and asked questions,
73
00:05:55,772 --> 00:05:57,941
then I wouldn't have been there, then.
74
00:05:57,983 --> 00:06:01,611
I'd have been ploughing at her
and having a real fine time.
75
00:06:01,653 --> 00:06:03,530
I was in the mood for her.
76
00:06:03,613 --> 00:06:07,117
I didn't want to be back home,
putting up with him.
77
00:06:07,284 --> 00:06:09,786
It wasn't like her to ask questions
and not understand me,
78
00:06:09,828 --> 00:06:11,496
but there she'd been,
79
00:06:11,621 --> 00:06:14,666
not understanding me
and asking questions.
80
00:06:15,792 --> 00:06:18,128
And now there I was, calling Louis Jack.
81
00:06:18,211 --> 00:06:19,963
You never knew what he was going to do.
82
00:06:20,005 --> 00:06:21,464
One minute he'd be real nice,
83
00:06:21,506 --> 00:06:25,802
and the next minute, he'd be at me
with some kind of torture or other.
84
00:06:25,886 --> 00:06:28,638
But he really wasn't as bad
as people like you might think.
85
00:06:28,722 --> 00:06:31,474
He was really intelligent
and could be really pleasant,
86
00:06:31,558 --> 00:06:33,476
although grotty, too.
87
00:06:33,643 --> 00:06:34,853
But he needed me.
88
00:06:34,978 --> 00:06:38,857
I knew that it was important
to have human sympathy for other people.
89
00:06:38,982 --> 00:06:41,735
I had to let him do what he liked to me,
you see,
90
00:06:41,818 --> 00:06:44,571
because it gave him so much pleasure.
91
00:06:45,322 --> 00:06:47,991
Who was I to deny him
his little pleasures?
92
00:06:48,033 --> 00:06:50,035
He never had much of life,
93
00:06:50,160 --> 00:06:53,663
so anything I could give him
was really very little, wasn't it?
94
00:06:53,747 --> 00:06:56,166
Still, sometimes it wasn't easy.
95
00:07:07,427 --> 00:07:09,512
(LOUIS JACK LAUGHING)
96
00:07:09,554 --> 00:07:13,683
LOUIS JACK: What a bloody business.
Louis Jack.
97
00:07:13,725 --> 00:07:15,101
(GIGGLING) Does anyone know, but,
98
00:07:15,185 --> 00:07:17,437
you are in an arm of...
99
00:07:24,361 --> 00:07:27,822
Animal! Manimal! Womanimal! Womanimal!
100
00:07:27,906 --> 00:07:32,452
Womanimal! Animal! Manimal!
Womanimal! Womanimal!
101
00:07:33,328 --> 00:07:34,746
Womanima/! Duffer!
102
00:07:34,829 --> 00:07:37,540
BUFFER". Yes, yes, Louis Jack!
103
00:07:43,129 --> 00:07:46,549
You'd say that what Louis Jack
liked best was hurting me.
104
00:07:46,633 --> 00:07:48,718
I didn't like it,
but he liked it so much,
105
00:07:48,802 --> 00:07:51,388
I couldn't say no, now, could I?
106
00:08:03,149 --> 00:08:08,530
LOUIS JACK: You will find me black.
You will find me where ladies sing,
107
00:08:08,613 --> 00:08:10,281
a song that's...
108
00:08:10,365 --> 00:08:13,952
BUFFER. But he didn't always hurt me.
Oh, sometimes just a little.
109
00:08:14,035 --> 00:08:16,454
He'd play around real nice sometimes,
110
00:08:16,538 --> 00:08:19,207
and just do this and that,
pretending mostly.
111
00:08:19,290 --> 00:08:20,834
I'd sit and try to enjoy it.
112
00:08:20,917 --> 00:08:24,504
Sometimes I'd play at a piggy puzzle
he gave me, kind of watch him.
113
00:08:24,587 --> 00:08:26,381
I had to be ready.
114
00:08:27,841 --> 00:08:30,510
LOUIS JACK: The wonders apricots
can yield,
115
00:08:30,593 --> 00:08:33,388
leather, or black street of death.
116
00:08:46,401 --> 00:08:50,989
Monocle, debacle, gaybacle, staybacle.
117
00:08:54,492 --> 00:08:57,120
And you won't take the tiniest rebuke.
What else can I do?
118
00:08:57,203 --> 00:08:59,039
You can go to confession
and know it yourself.
119
00:08:59,122 --> 00:09:03,084
Make out a will, commit suicide,
force yourself onto people.
120
00:09:18,099 --> 00:09:20,477
BUFFER. I hope you don't get
the wrong idea.
121
00:09:20,560 --> 00:09:23,605
Louis Jack was one of the best,
one of the nicest.
122
00:09:23,688 --> 00:09:26,024
Even now I think well of him.
123
00:09:26,232 --> 00:09:30,070
It's just that he shouldn't have done
what he did, you see.
124
00:09:36,534 --> 00:09:39,829
Still, even if you don't understand
why he had to do those things to me,
125
00:09:39,913 --> 00:09:43,041
I hope you try. You can try.
126
00:09:55,553 --> 00:09:58,389
Though I liked Louis Jack a lot,
he was just like my own blood,
127
00:09:58,473 --> 00:10:00,517
like a cousin or something,
128
00:10:00,600 --> 00:10:03,269
I couldn't be with him ail the time.
129
00:10:03,520 --> 00:10:05,855
You see, he got too strong
if you let him.
130
00:10:05,939 --> 00:10:09,734
So I had to go away every now and then
and see Your Gracie.
131
00:10:09,818 --> 00:10:11,319
It'd been a long time since I saw her
132
00:10:11,402 --> 00:10:13,780
that day when she asked
too many questions.
133
00:10:13,863 --> 00:10:16,032
So I thought maybe I could go
and have a real good lay with her
134
00:10:16,116 --> 00:10:18,034
in her flouncy bed and all.
135
00:10:18,118 --> 00:10:20,036
It was so clean there.
136
00:10:20,161 --> 00:10:22,664
And it would get Louis Jack off my mind.
137
00:10:22,747 --> 00:10:26,417
He made me do so many things
I really do not like doing.
138
00:10:26,668 --> 00:10:30,171
It was good to go to her
and do what I really liked doing,
139
00:10:30,255 --> 00:10:33,341
like diving into her and all that,
you know.
140
00:10:36,177 --> 00:10:37,846
So I'd go along through the streets
141
00:10:37,929 --> 00:10:39,973
and all these characters
I'd keep meeting up with
142
00:10:40,056 --> 00:10:42,392
kept me going, I can tell you.
143
00:10:42,642 --> 00:10:44,686
But it was all good, ordinary,
down-to-earth people,
144
00:10:44,769 --> 00:10:46,521
though sometimes they got
out of hand a little,
145
00:10:46,604 --> 00:10:50,608
and some of them would as soon
stick you with a knife as with a needle,
146
00:10:50,692 --> 00:10:53,361
(CHUCKLES) if you know what I mean.
147
00:11:01,995 --> 00:11:03,454
Your Gracie!
148
00:11:06,958 --> 00:11:08,877
Your Gracie! Your Gracie!
149
00:11:08,960 --> 00:11:13,006
LOUIS JACK: What's going on here now?
The street is dark.
150
00:11:13,089 --> 00:11:15,008
BUFFER". I've come
to see Your Gracie, officer.
151
00:11:15,091 --> 00:11:18,595
LOUIS JACK: Your Gracie? What is
your relationship with this woman?
152
00:11:18,678 --> 00:11:20,471
Are you a murderer?
153
00:11:20,555 --> 00:11:23,349
What, the anointing power
of the fallen angel?
154
00:11:23,433 --> 00:11:26,060
BUFFER". Why,
we're friends, officer, sir.
155
00:11:26,144 --> 00:11:27,562
LOUIS JACK: Friends?
156
00:11:27,645 --> 00:11:29,939
What is your relationship
with this woman?
157
00:11:30,023 --> 00:11:31,524
If I were the police...
158
00:11:31,608 --> 00:11:34,485
BUFFER". Yeah, I like her,
and she likes me, you see.
159
00:11:34,569 --> 00:11:37,322
LOWS JACK". Oh, what does that mean?
160
00:11:37,488 --> 00:11:38,948
Do you know what I am?
161
00:11:39,032 --> 00:11:43,536
Or I must wait for you?
Are you now betraying me, funk?
162
00:11:44,078 --> 00:11:45,872
Duffer, love, is that you?
163
00:11:45,955 --> 00:11:47,707
Yes, it's me, Your Gracie.
164
00:11:47,790 --> 00:11:49,125
Who is that with you?
165
00:11:49,209 --> 00:11:52,003
It's, uh... It's Sir.
He wants to know...
166
00:11:52,086 --> 00:11:54,255
Sir who? Sir Seize?
167
00:11:54,714 --> 00:11:56,841
What is your relationship with this lad?
168
00:11:56,925 --> 00:12:01,679
We're friends, officer. Come on, love.
Push the gate hard.
169
00:12:01,763 --> 00:12:03,598
(LAUGHING)
170
00:12:03,848 --> 00:12:06,392
OFFICER: Here now, what's going on?
171
00:12:06,476 --> 00:12:08,269
I won't let it happen again, sir.
172
00:12:08,353 --> 00:12:10,647
(YOUR GRACIE LAUGHING)
173
00:12:10,730 --> 00:12:13,024
LOUIS JACK: What? What does this mean?
174
00:12:13,107 --> 00:12:17,570
Duffer, don't go to that diseased,
disgusting creature.
175
00:12:17,654 --> 00:12:19,280
(YOUR GRACIE LAUGHING)
176
00:12:19,364 --> 00:12:22,116
BUFFER". I won't let it
happen again, Louis Jack.
177
00:12:25,912 --> 00:12:29,290
Your Gracie was one of your solid
kind of females.
178
00:12:29,374 --> 00:12:32,418
She had breasts like jelly,
only firm jelly.
179
00:12:32,627 --> 00:12:34,212
And, boy, was she built.
180
00:12:34,295 --> 00:12:37,090
Strawberry jelly's my favourite,
and she was like that.
181
00:12:37,173 --> 00:12:39,300
Although she was years and years
older than me,
182
00:12:39,384 --> 00:12:42,428
she was so full of life, she reminded me
of my poor old mum a little,
183
00:12:42,512 --> 00:12:44,055
who's dead and all.
184
00:12:44,138 --> 00:12:48,476
But my mum and I never had sex together.
It never entered our heads.
185
00:12:49,602 --> 00:12:51,854
You, with your psychology books,
might think we wanted to
186
00:12:51,938 --> 00:12:53,773
because we liked each other a lot.
187
00:12:53,856 --> 00:12:56,150
But you're wrong. We didn't want to.
188
00:12:56,234 --> 00:12:58,444
You might say it was unconscious,
an unconscious desire,
189
00:12:58,528 --> 00:13:00,321
but it wasn't even unconscious.
190
00:13:00,405 --> 00:13:04,117
You see, you don't know,
'cause you didn't know Mum.
191
00:13:05,076 --> 00:13:07,870
And you weren't there either, were you?
192
00:13:09,205 --> 00:13:10,832
You might say that
because I had no father,
193
00:13:10,873 --> 00:13:14,377
it made her want me,
her oldest offspring, as I was.
194
00:13:14,711 --> 00:13:18,464
But I say I must have had a father,
even though I never met him.
195
00:13:18,548 --> 00:13:21,676
Otherwise, I'd be Jesus
and Mum 'd be the Virgin Mary.
196
00:13:21,718 --> 00:13:25,680
I can tell you that Mum was no virgin.
I know it for a fact.
197
00:13:27,056 --> 00:13:29,559
And I'm probably not Jesus either.
198
00:14:27,450 --> 00:14:30,286
There was this monkey on a stick
that Your Gracie had,
199
00:14:30,370 --> 00:14:33,289
and when I piled into her,
she'd start it.
200
00:14:33,414 --> 00:14:38,211
The idea was that the monkey should get
to the bottom before I was finished.
201
00:14:43,966 --> 00:14:46,803
But I never could somehow
last long enough.
202
00:14:46,886 --> 00:14:48,638
I tried, God knows.
203
00:15:21,003 --> 00:15:23,005
(LOUIS JACK SCREAMING)
204
00:15:25,258 --> 00:15:29,011
LOUIS JACK: You are cruel.
A cruel puppy.
205
00:15:29,345 --> 00:15:31,639
BUFFER: Louis Jack liked
to make up little tortures for me,
206
00:15:31,681 --> 00:15:34,684
and I did my best
to act like I enjoyed them.
207
00:15:34,767 --> 00:15:36,519
You see, he was in my blood.
208
00:15:36,644 --> 00:15:40,481
I couldn't say no to him if he wanted
to hurt me a little, could I?
209
00:15:40,523 --> 00:15:44,193
Sometimes he'd hurt me a little too much
and then I'd...
210
00:15:44,944 --> 00:15:47,363
I'd get mad, and have to resist.
211
00:15:48,364 --> 00:15:50,616
I expect you think I'm crazy
for doing this,
212
00:15:50,700 --> 00:15:54,036
but when I think how little pleasure
people seem to get out of life,
213
00:15:54,162 --> 00:15:56,164
I can hardly deny somebody
a little pleasure
214
00:15:56,205 --> 00:15:59,041
at my expense now and then,
now, could I?
215
00:15:59,167 --> 00:16:01,419
Once, when he almost
smothered me to death
216
00:16:01,544 --> 00:16:05,715
but putting cotton and wool up my nose,
I offered some resistance.
217
00:16:05,840 --> 00:16:08,217
But I soon realised my mistake.
218
00:16:09,886 --> 00:16:13,264
You see, if you're going to be kind
to somebody,
219
00:16:13,389 --> 00:16:16,350
and I'd decided to be kind to him,
220
00:16:16,392 --> 00:16:18,769
you don't always get off light.
221
00:16:19,061 --> 00:16:21,772
Sometimes you have to suffer for it.
222
00:16:21,898 --> 00:16:23,900
That's part of the game.
223
00:16:24,066 --> 00:16:27,403
And even if it killed you,
that's part of the game.
224
00:16:27,528 --> 00:16:30,907
It was cowardly of me to object
to what he was doing to me.
225
00:16:30,948 --> 00:16:34,243
After all, gee whiz,
what had I to lose, anyway?
226
00:16:34,452 --> 00:16:37,079
What's just one insignificant life?
227
00:16:37,246 --> 00:16:39,707
And that was all I had, really.
228
00:16:41,042 --> 00:16:44,712
LOUIS JACK: ...no more of humanity,
singing in the darkness on the /awn.
229
00:16:44,754 --> 00:16:46,380
(WHEEZING)
230
00:16:46,422 --> 00:16:47,965
(PANTING)
231
00:16:48,090 --> 00:16:52,428
Bad boy! Bad sailor,
you will meet death! Death!
232
00:16:52,595 --> 00:16:56,724
When you come back, there is nothing,
nothing, nothing, nothing but dust.
233
00:16:56,766 --> 00:17:01,604
Combs all dusty, ladies gone, murdered,
nothing but dust, raped!
234
00:17:01,729 --> 00:17:04,649
Torn up from the worms inside,
the worm life within.
235
00:17:04,774 --> 00:17:07,318
You're no worm, all just...
Just ungrateful.
236
00:17:07,443 --> 00:17:09,654
Ungrateful, unkind, ingratitude.
237
00:17:09,779 --> 00:17:11,072
(GASPING)
238
00:17:11,113 --> 00:17:14,116
The wound is black over your body.
239
00:17:15,326 --> 00:17:18,621
The sailors on the seas, look out,
you're only...
240
00:17:18,746 --> 00:17:20,122
(GASPING)
241
00:17:20,248 --> 00:17:23,626
Your cruelty, it's considerate,
not considerate,
242
00:17:23,751 --> 00:17:25,628
unkind, unhuman.
243
00:17:28,422 --> 00:17:31,509
The wound is black over your body.
244
00:17:31,634 --> 00:17:33,678
The sailors on the seas look out
and hear on it...
245
00:17:33,803 --> 00:17:34,804
(GASPING)
246
00:17:34,929 --> 00:17:38,266
Beauty of your movement,
black streets will tell you the truth.
247
00:17:38,307 --> 00:17:39,350
(GASPING)
248
00:17:39,475 --> 00:17:43,187
Your youth means nothing,
nothing, nothing!
249
00:17:43,312 --> 00:17:46,816
Nothing! Nothing! Nothing!
250
00:17:46,941 --> 00:17:47,984
(MOANING)
251
00:17:48,025 --> 00:17:49,360
Nothing!
252
00:17:50,945 --> 00:17:53,322
Nothing! Nothing!
253
00:17:55,491 --> 00:17:56,659
(WHIMPERING)
254
00:17:56,784 --> 00:17:58,202
Nothing!
255
00:20:06,706 --> 00:20:09,792
BUFFER". Louis Jack had made blue films
with me in them before, you know,
256
00:20:09,875 --> 00:20:11,544
dress-ups and such.
257
00:20:11,627 --> 00:20:13,546
And I didn't mind much.
258
00:20:13,629 --> 00:20:14,880
He'd stolen the camera somewhere
259
00:20:14,964 --> 00:20:18,300
and had a way of developing
and printing the film.
260
00:20:18,384 --> 00:20:21,846
And he'd even stolen a projector,
amongst a lot of other stuff.
261
00:20:21,971 --> 00:20:26,809
But I didn't let on to him that I really
liked artistic films, not blue ones.
262
00:20:37,319 --> 00:20:40,698
But life with Louis Jack
sometimes went quiet,
263
00:20:40,823 --> 00:20:43,576
and I'd get bored and want to get away.
264
00:20:43,659 --> 00:20:47,329
Sometimes I'd just sit
and he was like somebody dead.
265
00:20:47,830 --> 00:20:51,834
I wished he was dead,
so I'd be free of him once and for all.
266
00:20:55,921 --> 00:20:58,549
To get relief, Pd go down to
the embankment at Hammersmith,
267
00:20:58,674 --> 00:21:00,217
or maybe Richmond,
268
00:21:00,342 --> 00:21:04,680
and I'd read at my book, Beware oi PM
by Stefan Zweig or somebody.
269
00:21:04,930 --> 00:21:06,766
Do you know it?
It's all about this man
270
00:21:06,849 --> 00:21:11,187
that got himself in trouble with a girl
by being too sorry for her.
271
00:21:11,270 --> 00:21:15,232
I didn't know then that you could be
too sorry tor other males, too.
272
00:21:15,357 --> 00:21:17,568
I don't know why the author
didn't warn us about that, too,
273
00:21:17,693 --> 00:21:20,738
and not only about being
too sorry for girls.
274
00:21:34,877 --> 00:21:36,378
There were all kinds of people around
275
00:21:36,462 --> 00:21:38,547
that seemed to have problems
and troubles
276
00:21:38,631 --> 00:21:40,841
and didn't get along
it they were together.
277
00:21:40,925 --> 00:21:44,094
And if they were alone,
they just seemed dead or lonely,
278
00:21:44,178 --> 00:21:46,597
so lonely, they maybe could die.
279
00:21:47,097 --> 00:21:50,893
Was it for me to help everybody?
Of course not.
280
00:21:51,018 --> 00:21:53,562
I wasn't a charitable institution.
281
00:22:17,545 --> 00:22:20,923
Gee whiz, when you think
of all the grotty things
282
00:22:21,006 --> 00:22:23,884
and miserableness in the lives
of most people
283
00:22:23,968 --> 00:22:28,931
and having no really interesting friends
like Louis Jack, with all his talents...
284
00:22:29,557 --> 00:22:32,059
PH wager your friends can't make films
as well as Louis Jack,
285
00:22:32,142 --> 00:22:34,270
and no money,
and having to steal everything
286
00:22:34,353 --> 00:22:36,814
and use the sit-down bath
to develop film
287
00:22:36,897 --> 00:22:40,484
and hardly made mistakes except
when he got a little too excited.
288
00:22:40,568 --> 00:22:43,279
No, I count myself lucky
to this very day,
289
00:22:43,362 --> 00:22:46,282
even though it... Well, it did go wrong,
290
00:22:47,199 --> 00:22:48,659
in the end.
291
00:22:49,076 --> 00:22:51,495
Oh, I know it was my fault.
292
00:22:52,705 --> 00:22:55,541
But I didn't mean it. I didn't mean it.
293
00:22:56,584 --> 00:22:58,085
LOUIS JACK: Flickering lights, screens,
images,
294
00:22:58,168 --> 00:23:00,004
it's a wonderful thing to look at,
nothing to see,
295
00:23:00,087 --> 00:23:01,839
everything is a message,
a message of Hell,
296
00:23:01,922 --> 00:23:03,591
fantasy and naturalism,
and panning and tilting,
297
00:23:03,674 --> 00:23:05,134
and dissolving and fading in and out...
298
00:23:05,217 --> 00:23:09,221
BUFFER: Louis Jack was really proud
when he showed me the film.
299
00:23:09,305 --> 00:23:14,101
It was awfully embarrassing, but I tried
for a while to pretend I liked it.
300
00:23:14,268 --> 00:23:16,729
He was so proud of these movies.
301
00:23:16,937 --> 00:23:20,357
But that time, I think it was worse
than any film he'd ever made before
302
00:23:20,441 --> 00:23:24,570
because, well, he didn't attend
to details the way he usually did.
303
00:23:25,404 --> 00:23:28,115
I think he got carried away
with the subject matter,
304
00:23:28,198 --> 00:23:30,367
with those worms that seemed
to grow inside of him
305
00:23:30,451 --> 00:23:34,538
and come out of him once in a while
when he got excited about an idea.
306
00:23:34,622 --> 00:23:36,415
I can't explain it.
307
00:23:36,832 --> 00:23:38,792
It doesn't make sense.
308
00:23:39,668 --> 00:23:41,962
But there those worms were
on the screen.
309
00:23:42,046 --> 00:23:43,881
Can you explain it?
310
00:23:44,256 --> 00:23:48,469
It was as if he was terrible,
terrible inside of himself.
311
00:23:50,512 --> 00:23:52,556
I've got nothing against worms.
312
00:23:52,640 --> 00:23:55,559
They're good enough creatures,
I imagine.
313
00:23:55,809 --> 00:23:58,395
But I don't really like them
put all over me,
314
00:23:58,479 --> 00:24:01,732
even if they do come out of somebody
I'm committed to, like Louis Jack.
315
00:24:01,815 --> 00:24:05,319
LOUIS JACK: The worms come singing
on your body in multilingual tongues,
316
00:24:05,402 --> 00:24:09,281
in strange tongues, they'd lick
their tongues as in their blind mouths.
317
00:24:09,365 --> 00:24:13,369
Yes, and all is there upon the body,
and yet not there at all.
318
00:24:14,328 --> 00:24:17,498
YOUR GRACIE: The illusion of love,
Duffer, love.
319
00:24:17,915 --> 00:24:18,999
The illusion.
320
00:24:19,083 --> 00:24:21,001
LOUIS JACK: You,
what are you but your image?
321
00:24:21,085 --> 00:24:23,462
YOUR GRACIE: Look and see me.
322
00:24:23,545 --> 00:24:26,465
See through me, dearest love.
323
00:24:26,548 --> 00:24:28,175
See through me.
324
00:24:29,009 --> 00:24:32,179
I'm opening wide, my dearest.
325
00:24:33,305 --> 00:24:37,601
And you may dig a hole in me
and lay your body into me,
326
00:24:38,310 --> 00:24:43,190
and I shall cover you over,
and you can die, Duffer, love.
327
00:24:45,109 --> 00:24:46,735
And keep your soul.
328
00:24:46,819 --> 00:24:49,321
LOUIS JACK: The dark angel builds.
YOUR GRACE". Keep your soul.
329
00:24:49,405 --> 00:24:51,824
LOWS JACK. The song you hear is dead.
330
00:24:51,907 --> 00:24:55,285
The worms singing telled untold stories.
331
00:24:55,369 --> 00:24:58,789
You will be the denial,
the end of your soul.
332
00:24:58,872 --> 00:25:01,083
The embracement of darkness.
333
00:25:01,208 --> 00:25:03,293
And you, what are you but your image?
334
00:25:03,377 --> 00:25:07,089
And your image is without soul,
the way you must be.
335
00:25:07,673 --> 00:25:09,466
Only the worms are for certain,
336
00:25:09,550 --> 00:25:13,303
and waiting for the explosion of hatred
in you, in you, in you,
337
00:25:13,387 --> 00:25:14,888
where they belong.
338
00:25:14,972 --> 00:25:19,560
The reality beyond which does not exist,
but exists, exists, exists.
339
00:25:19,643 --> 00:25:21,228
Some more than arms and legs...
340
00:25:22,688 --> 00:25:24,440
BUFFER. My landlady was so suspicious
341
00:25:24,523 --> 00:25:27,568
you couldn't get away with
hardly anything in that house.
342
00:25:27,651 --> 00:25:29,403
But I was so glad to get away.
343
00:25:29,486 --> 00:25:34,408
All I wanted was to get to Your Gracie 's
and have a good old roll in the hay.
344
00:25:48,047 --> 00:25:50,883
But it's funny, like I said,
everywhere I went
345
00:25:50,966 --> 00:25:53,761
people were having trouble
with their relationships.
346
00:25:53,844 --> 00:25:56,263
I couldn't understand it,
and I still don't understand it.
347
00:25:56,346 --> 00:25:59,558
After all, we're all made the same way,
aren't we?
348
00:25:59,641 --> 00:26:02,603
It made me realise
and count my blessings.
349
00:26:02,853 --> 00:26:04,521
I loved Your Gracie and she loved me,
350
00:26:04,605 --> 00:26:07,316
and, well, Louis Jack
wasn't really very awful
351
00:26:07,399 --> 00:26:09,359
when you stopped to think about it.
352
00:26:09,443 --> 00:26:11,945
He hadn't killed anybody, had he?
353
00:26:14,031 --> 00:26:17,534
(VOICE BREAKING) Now... Now I wished
you hadn't made me remember that.
354
00:26:17,618 --> 00:26:19,828
I really wished you hadn't.
355
00:26:36,011 --> 00:26:38,806
'(OUR GRACE: Are you hungry,
Duffer, love?
356
00:26:38,889 --> 00:26:40,265
Are you warm, love?
357
00:26:40,349 --> 00:26:43,811
DU FFER: This time at Your Gracie's
she really put on a spread for me,
358
00:26:43,894 --> 00:26:48,023
wine and candles lit and music
and she got all dressed up,
359
00:26:48,107 --> 00:26:51,819
and just like in the flicks, she was,
and I got a little drunk on the wine,
360
00:26:51,902 --> 00:26:53,529
and it was all so grand,
361
00:26:53,612 --> 00:26:57,950
and she gave me some bangers and mash
to eat, just what I like best.
362
00:27:27,646 --> 00:27:29,481
'(OUR GRACE: Are you hungry,
Duffer, love?
363
00:27:29,565 --> 00:27:30,732
(DUFFER LAUGHING)
364
00:27:30,816 --> 00:27:33,402
Y OUR GRACE: Are you warm, love?
365
00:27:34,653 --> 00:27:37,698
Like what I'm wondering about you,
Duffer, me love?
366
00:27:37,739 --> 00:27:39,741
BUFFER. Oh, Your Gracie,
don't you look great, doll,
367
00:27:39,867 --> 00:27:41,910
in one of your flouncy dresses?
368
00:27:41,994 --> 00:27:43,871
That's a new flouncy dress now,
isn't it?
369
00:27:43,912 --> 00:27:46,373
Isn't it? I mean, it looks new.
370
00:27:47,749 --> 00:27:52,212
I can almost see you through your dress
with my X-ray type eyes, I can.
371
00:27:52,254 --> 00:27:55,924
What I see is a good thing,
the golden lady.
372
00:27:56,758 --> 00:28:00,262
YOUR GRACE: Oh, you bad boy,
you do carry on so.
373
00:28:00,929 --> 00:28:04,433
Oh, but I ain't seen you
in so long now, I swear.
374
00:28:05,058 --> 00:28:08,228
Have you been going to some
other Gracie than me?
375
00:28:08,270 --> 00:28:09,938
(LAUGHING)
376
00:28:10,063 --> 00:28:11,440
BUFFER. We had strawberry jelly cake
377
00:28:11,523 --> 00:28:14,943
and made it into a race,
just to see who'd win.
378
00:28:15,444 --> 00:28:19,239
We both knew we both would win
because that's the way we were,
379
00:28:19,281 --> 00:28:22,284
even and equal,
even though she was so big.
380
00:28:22,451 --> 00:28:25,704
Well, I'm telling you,
you might not understand this,
381
00:28:25,787 --> 00:28:30,125
but she seemed to me to be the nicest,
best, the most powerful and softest,
382
00:28:30,209 --> 00:28:31,627
and, well, that's what she was,
383
00:28:31,752 --> 00:28:34,796
a strawberry jelly lady,
through and through.
384
00:28:35,297 --> 00:28:38,550
Y OUR GRACE: What can I do
to ease your weakness, love?
385
00:28:38,634 --> 00:28:42,554
Wouldn't you like to come over
and practise your old exercises?
386
00:28:42,638 --> 00:28:45,140
BUFFER". Oh, I'm just worn out,
Your Gracie.
387
00:28:45,265 --> 00:28:46,975
You know that any time
I'd love nothing better
388
00:28:47,059 --> 00:28:49,561
than to take the dive
in your flouncy bed,
389
00:28:49,645 --> 00:28:52,648
but, oh, Swanella, I'm wrecked.
390
00:29:16,797 --> 00:29:18,298
(DOG BARKING)
391
00:29:32,604 --> 00:29:35,190
But it couldn't last. I knew that.
392
00:29:36,650 --> 00:29:40,279
Sometimes it was hard,
having to go back to Louis Jack.
393
00:29:40,445 --> 00:29:43,615
I knew I could have stayed with her
for always.
394
00:29:43,824 --> 00:29:46,702
But I had my responsibilities, didn't I?
395
00:29:47,035 --> 00:29:49,538
What would happen to him without me?
396
00:29:49,663 --> 00:29:52,499
I didn't want to go back, but I had to.
397
00:30:26,241 --> 00:30:27,409
What?
398
00:30:28,076 --> 00:30:30,287
Oh, do I have to tell you about that?
399
00:30:30,412 --> 00:30:32,539
(SPUTTERING)
400
00:30:33,290 --> 00:30:35,042
How can I say it?
401
00:30:35,959 --> 00:30:37,377
I hope I haven't made you think
402
00:30:37,419 --> 00:30:42,424
that Louis Jack wasn't maybe
the best person who ever lived,
403
00:30:42,466 --> 00:30:44,092
because he was.
404
00:30:44,885 --> 00:30:47,888
He may have seemed selfish
and even sometimes rough,
405
00:30:47,929 --> 00:30:50,474
and it's true that he was
selfish and rough,
406
00:30:50,599 --> 00:30:52,934
but, you see, I knew him.
407
00:30:54,061 --> 00:30:55,604
He was my own.
408
00:30:56,396 --> 00:30:59,649
He felt about me
the way you feel about your dog.
409
00:30:59,941 --> 00:31:03,945
And who was I not to feel about him
the way your dog feels about you?
410
00:31:04,071 --> 00:31:08,325
It might be that too many people want
everybody to feel like a dog to them.
411
00:31:08,450 --> 00:31:11,119
If more than half the world wanted
the other half to be their dogs,
412
00:31:11,244 --> 00:31:15,123
and the dog halt didn't want to be
the dog half and please the master half,
413
00:31:15,248 --> 00:31:20,128
even if the dog half wasn't a masochist,
well, there'd be hell to pay, I bet.
414
00:31:20,962 --> 00:31:24,633
So I decided that, since Louis Jack
wanted me to be his dog,
415
00:31:24,758 --> 00:31:27,469
the least I could do was obey
his every whim.
416
00:31:27,511 --> 00:31:31,139
So, you see, the hardest thing
I ever had to do was...
417
00:31:32,474 --> 00:31:34,935
Was let him father a child.
418
00:31:35,644 --> 00:31:37,312
I didn't think he could
do anything to me
419
00:31:37,437 --> 00:31:40,190
because, well, he just wasn't able to.
420
00:31:40,315 --> 00:31:43,610
You see, there was something
the matter with him.
421
00:31:43,985 --> 00:31:48,198
But I didn't know at first that he'd
caught some aphrodisiac or something,
422
00:31:48,323 --> 00:31:50,492
and that made a difference.
423
00:31:50,992 --> 00:31:54,371
He'd got it into his head
that we'd have a baby,
424
00:31:54,496 --> 00:31:56,540
even if I wasn't a girl.
425
00:33:15,118 --> 00:33:17,412
Some people like sodomy I suppose,
426
00:33:17,454 --> 00:33:19,623
because some people do it.
427
00:33:19,831 --> 00:33:21,625
But I just have a blank spot there.
428
00:33:21,750 --> 00:33:23,752
I'm prejudiced, you see.
429
00:33:24,503 --> 00:33:26,338
There are some things
a fool can never learn,
430
00:33:26,421 --> 00:33:28,423
and that's one with me.
431
00:33:39,142 --> 00:33:42,646
But, you know, it's funny how,
even with a thing like that,
432
00:33:42,771 --> 00:33:44,606
you get some good out of it.
433
00:33:44,689 --> 00:33:46,274
Take me, for instance.
434
00:33:46,316 --> 00:33:49,319
It helped me to understand Your Gracie,
in a way.
435
00:33:49,444 --> 00:33:53,323
Not, of course, her enjoyment of me,
but I felt afterwards, and even during,
436
00:33:53,448 --> 00:33:56,701
that Your Gracie was in my place,
in a way,
437
00:33:56,785 --> 00:33:58,620
though not exactly.
438
00:34:00,330 --> 00:34:03,458
I just thought of all the hours, days,
months and years
439
00:34:03,500 --> 00:34:05,210
when this wasn't happening to me,
440
00:34:05,293 --> 00:34:09,381
and I was thankful to God,
to the world and to Louis Jack
441
00:34:09,464 --> 00:34:12,717
for not having had me all the time
and making me sick and all,
442
00:34:12,801 --> 00:34:15,804
and upsetting me
till I was a nervous wreck.
443
00:34:18,181 --> 00:34:22,143
So I thought then, mainly, of what
real pleasure I got out of Your Gracie,
444
00:34:22,227 --> 00:34:27,148
and resolved that the first chance,
the very first chance I got,
445
00:34:27,190 --> 00:34:30,902
I'd see her and I'd restore
my manhood, thereby.
446
00:34:31,403 --> 00:34:32,904
First chance.
447
00:34:56,094 --> 00:34:57,846
I restored my manhood, all right.
448
00:34:57,929 --> 00:35:00,015
But did I? Did I, really?
449
00:35:00,849 --> 00:35:02,684
Something was wrong.
450
00:35:02,892 --> 00:35:06,229
Even down at the river,
it didn't make me feel better.
451
00:35:06,354 --> 00:35:09,566
I was in a real depression,
and all the good offices of Your Gracie
452
00:35:09,691 --> 00:35:12,235
and the best will in the world
from Louis Jack
453
00:35:12,360 --> 00:35:14,779
couldn't seem to shake me out of it.
454
00:35:14,863 --> 00:35:18,283
Even strangers, when they were friendly,
which was not often,
455
00:35:18,366 --> 00:35:21,536
could hardly get me out of
what I was thinking.
456
00:35:22,078 --> 00:35:25,123
You see, I had the blackest thoughts,
I did.
457
00:35:25,206 --> 00:35:27,375
It was like I was out of my mind.
458
00:35:27,417 --> 00:35:29,586
I don't know,
I didn't know the difference
459
00:35:29,711 --> 00:35:31,713
between waking and sleeping, like.
460
00:35:31,755 --> 00:35:35,133
Once I imagined myself going down
this strange street.
461
00:35:35,216 --> 00:35:36,926
Or did I imagine it?
462
00:35:37,010 --> 00:35:39,846
There was a person there,
a person who seemed to want me,
463
00:35:39,929 --> 00:35:43,475
someone there, drawing me forward.
I had to go to him.
464
00:35:43,558 --> 00:35:44,976
But who was he?
465
00:35:45,060 --> 00:35:47,395
And I could hear
that funny song in the distance.
466
00:35:47,479 --> 00:35:50,815
What did it mean? Where was I?
Who was I?
467
00:35:51,441 --> 00:35:55,487
For the first time in my life, I felt
I was getting confused about everything.
468
00:35:55,570 --> 00:35:59,616
Something, ever since Louis Jack
had tried to have a baby with me,
469
00:35:59,699 --> 00:36:02,494
something... Something had gone wrong.
470
00:36:56,005 --> 00:36:59,050
LOWS JACK: I'm worried.
The blood test was negative.
471
00:36:59,134 --> 00:37:02,846
And so was the breath test, and so was
the standing on your head for an hour.
472
00:37:02,929 --> 00:37:06,516
If this fails, then I have no way
of guarding against despondency.
473
00:37:06,599 --> 00:37:08,518
BUFFER". Oh, don't be desperate,
Louis Jack.
474
00:37:08,601 --> 00:37:09,769
To please you, I will.
475
00:37:09,853 --> 00:37:12,647
It was about that time that Louis Jack
got it into his head
476
00:37:12,731 --> 00:37:14,899
to try his pregnancy tests on me.
477
00:37:14,983 --> 00:37:18,027
He took blood samples
and watched for morning sickness.
478
00:37:18,111 --> 00:37:20,113
I didn't even try to tell him
it was no use.
479
00:37:20,196 --> 00:37:23,324
“Boys did not have infants,“
said I to myself.
480
00:37:23,533 --> 00:37:26,578
But I knew he wouldn't listen.
So I went along with the games.
481
00:37:26,661 --> 00:37:29,205
The craziest test was the apricots one.
482
00:37:29,289 --> 00:37:32,125
He read in an old book that
if the hopeful mother ate apricots
483
00:37:32,208 --> 00:37:35,128
and got sick,
then she was going to breed.
484
00:37:35,253 --> 00:37:37,505
So he made sure,
and he gave me so many apricots
485
00:37:37,589 --> 00:37:39,340
that I had to be sick, didn't I?
486
00:37:39,424 --> 00:37:42,093
It was funny. But I didn't think so.
487
00:37:42,260 --> 00:37:45,221
LOUIS JACK: # Back in Black Street
488
00:37:45,305 --> 00:37:50,268
# You will find me there #
489
00:37:51,060 --> 00:37:54,689
BUFFER". That's beautiful,
really beautiful, Louis Jack.
490
00:37:54,773 --> 00:37:56,316
Sing some more.
491
00:37:56,399 --> 00:37:59,277
LOWS JACK. No!
You must want it, Duffer!
492
00:37:59,527 --> 00:38:01,196
I must have an offspring.
493
00:38:01,279 --> 00:38:04,908
Mere women! If a woman can do it,
a man can do it every time.
494
00:38:04,991 --> 00:38:07,118
Women are inferior to us, Duffer.
495
00:38:07,202 --> 00:38:08,661
BUFFER". Yes, Louis Jack.
496
00:38:08,745 --> 00:38:11,664
LOUIS JACK: We have the tilt of tongues.
We can bear children.
497
00:38:11,748 --> 00:38:14,751
We are superior.
Women are men without manhood, Duffer.
498
00:38:14,834 --> 00:38:20,840
Animal. Manimal. Womanimal. Womanimal!
Womanimal! Get sick, Duffer!
499
00:38:20,924 --> 00:38:23,218
BUFFER". Yes, yes, Louis Jack.
500
00:38:23,927 --> 00:38:25,595
(GASPING)
501
00:38:25,678 --> 00:38:27,055
(RETCHING)
502
00:38:27,138 --> 00:38:28,264
(LOUIS JACK LAUGHING)
503
00:38:28,348 --> 00:38:29,849
LOWS JACK. That's right!
504
00:38:29,933 --> 00:38:31,810
(LOUIS JACK LAUGHING)
505
00:38:51,788 --> 00:38:54,582
DU FFER: I was beginning to get fat
around the middle.
506
00:38:54,666 --> 00:38:57,377
Louis Jack called my tummy a clitellum.
507
00:38:57,460 --> 00:39:00,755
I couldn't understand it,
and I didn't feel good.
508
00:39:01,172 --> 00:39:03,675
You know,
I felt sickly most of the time.
509
00:39:03,758 --> 00:39:05,718
I thought of going to a doctor
on the National Health,
510
00:39:05,802 --> 00:39:09,514
but I was too scared to, so I just
went around and did nothing much.
511
00:39:09,597 --> 00:39:11,933
One day, I wanted to eat dirt,
but didn't.
512
00:39:12,016 --> 00:39:14,561
Another day, I stole a book from Smiths.
513
00:39:14,644 --> 00:39:17,689
I was going to steal an artistic book
by Henry James or Henry Miller,
514
00:39:17,772 --> 00:39:19,732
but instead, I found myself with a book
515
00:39:19,816 --> 00:39:22,777
on baby care, of all things,
by a Dr Spock.
516
00:39:23,069 --> 00:39:25,822
You know, the one who was disobedient.
517
00:39:32,120 --> 00:39:36,499
LOUIS JACK: I have within me
the power to create.
518
00:39:36,833 --> 00:39:39,335
To create and to destroy.
519
00:39:39,961 --> 00:39:42,922
The power to assuage or to annoy.
520
00:39:43,298 --> 00:39:47,427
I have within my hands
a bottle of power,
521
00:39:47,510 --> 00:39:51,598
enough to create humanity
or to destroy it.
522
00:39:52,181 --> 00:39:54,726
I have the power of hatred in me,
523
00:39:55,018 --> 00:39:59,731
and a pill to take
to make me grow so great,
524
00:40:00,273 --> 00:40:06,237
and the power to kill all love
and kindle hatred, and kindle hatred...
525
00:40:06,321 --> 00:40:09,282
BUFFER". It got worse and worse,
the way I was feeling.
526
00:40:09,365 --> 00:40:11,242
I tried not to go home.
527
00:40:11,326 --> 00:40:13,912
I couldn't stand Louis Jack
forever talking about babies
528
00:40:13,995 --> 00:40:16,831
and being so happy over something
that could never be.
529
00:40:16,915 --> 00:40:20,251
I almost began to hope
I would have an infant,
530
00:40:20,335 --> 00:40:22,170
just to content him.
531
00:40:22,295 --> 00:40:25,256
I couldn't go to Your Gracie
in my condition, could I?
532
00:40:25,340 --> 00:40:27,008
And I held off for a long time.
533
00:40:30,136 --> 00:40:33,097
But at last I was so desperate,
I thought I'd better see her anyway,
534
00:40:33,181 --> 00:40:35,516
and tell all and get her expert advice.
535
00:40:35,600 --> 00:40:39,312
She'd know all about these things
'cause she was a woman, wasn't she?
536
00:40:39,354 --> 00:40:41,356
(YOUR GRACIE LAUGHING)
537
00:42:22,582 --> 00:42:27,128
RADIO: # I know that it will never,
ever last
538
00:42:27,211 --> 00:42:30,048
# But I ask the sun at noon
539
00:42:30,131 --> 00:42:32,383
# Will i1' be like old... #
540
00:42:32,467 --> 00:42:34,927
BUFFER". After that,
I decided to stay home.
541
00:42:34,969 --> 00:42:37,472
I wouldn't go out any more, ever.
542
00:42:38,973 --> 00:42:41,225
Not till there was a change.
543
00:42:41,309 --> 00:42:42,810
And the longer I stayed home,
544
00:42:42,935 --> 00:42:45,980
the more I felt that what Louis Jack
said about me,
545
00:42:46,064 --> 00:42:48,608
that I was really going
to drop an infant,
546
00:42:48,649 --> 00:42:50,651
I began to feel
that it probably was true.
547
00:42:50,735 --> 00:42:53,571
RAND: it The heat of the night
drives me out of my mind
548
00:42:53,654 --> 00:42:59,118
# But till the moon is on time
My madness is you, is you
549
00:42:59,160 --> 00:43:03,664
# I know that I will never, ever love
550
00:43:03,790 --> 00:43:06,626
it What of romance in June?
551
00:43:06,667 --> 00:43:12,590
# It will be like all the others
Over too soon #
552
00:43:24,519 --> 00:43:26,687
MAN: The great majority
of those who admit
553
00:43:26,813 --> 00:43:31,776
that their first reaction to pregnancy
was predominantly one of dismay,
554
00:43:31,859 --> 00:43:35,113
well, there are plenty of good people
who feel this way,
555
00:43:35,196 --> 00:43:37,865
are reassured to find that
their acceptance of the pregnancy
556
00:43:37,990 --> 00:43:40,868
and their fondness for the baby
reaches a comfortable level
557
00:43:40,910 --> 00:43:43,162
before he is born.
558
00:43:44,080 --> 00:43:47,583
But even when the anticipation
is all that can be desired,
559
00:43:47,708 --> 00:43:50,002
there's often a letdown
for the inexperienced mother
560
00:43:50,044 --> 00:43:51,838
when the baby actually arrives.
561
00:43:51,879 --> 00:43:56,050
She expects to recognise him immediately
as her own flesh and blood,
562
00:43:56,175 --> 00:43:59,846
to respond to him with an
overwhelming rush of maternal feeling.
563
00:43:59,887 --> 00:44:02,723
But in many cases,
this doesn't happen the first day,
564
00:44:02,849 --> 00:44:04,851
or even the first week.
565
00:44:05,560 --> 00:44:10,356
Instead, it is a gradual process
that isn't completed
566
00:44:10,398 --> 00:44:13,609
till she has been home with him
for a little while.
567
00:44:13,734 --> 00:44:17,530
Most of us have been taught
that it's not fair to a coming baby
568
00:44:17,572 --> 00:44:21,242
to hope and expect
that it will be a girl or a boy,
569
00:44:22,118 --> 00:44:24,537
in case it turns out to be the opposite.
570
00:44:24,579 --> 00:44:27,081
I wouldn't take this too seriously.
571
00:44:27,206 --> 00:44:30,960
We can't really begin to imagine
and love a future baby
572
00:44:31,085 --> 00:44:34,463
without picturing it
as being one sex or the other.
573
00:44:35,256 --> 00:44:37,425
That's the very first step.
574
00:44:37,758 --> 00:44:43,598
I think that all expectant parents
have a preference for a boy or a girl
575
00:44:43,639 --> 00:44:45,433
during each pregnancy,
576
00:44:45,474 --> 00:44:47,268
even though most of them
will be quite ready
577
00:44:47,310 --> 00:44:50,605
to love a baby who turns out
to be the opposite.
578
00:44:51,272 --> 00:44:54,442
So, enjoy your imaginary baby,
579
00:44:54,567 --> 00:44:58,321
and don't feel guilty
if another kind arrives.
580
00:44:58,446 --> 00:45:00,281
(BABY CRYING)
581
00:45:00,323 --> 00:45:02,617
In the second half of the first year,
582
00:45:02,742 --> 00:45:07,663
you could begin adding or substituting
other raw fruits besides bananas,
583
00:45:07,788 --> 00:45:10,791
scraped apple, pear, avocado...
584
00:45:11,459 --> 00:45:13,252
BUFFER. The birth pains had come.
585
00:45:13,294 --> 00:45:15,963
MAN: ...till the baby
is two years of age.
586
00:45:16,005 --> 00:45:19,467
Strained boiled vegetables are commonly
added to a baby's diet
587
00:45:19,508 --> 00:45:23,846
two to four weeks after he's
gotten used to cereal or fruit or both.
588
00:45:24,263 --> 00:45:27,350
The ones usually offered
are string beans,
589
00:45:27,475 --> 00:45:33,147
peas, spinach, tomatoes, squash,
carrots, beets, sweet potatoes...
590
00:45:33,272 --> 00:45:36,525
BUFFER". Louis Jack played doctor
and really helped it along,
591
00:45:36,651 --> 00:45:38,319
whatever it was.
592
00:45:38,444 --> 00:45:42,448
It was the awfullest thing
that ever happened to me, that was.
593
00:46:03,219 --> 00:46:04,679
(INAUDIBLE)
594
00:46:20,319 --> 00:46:22,989
BUFFER. Louis Jack was upset
because there was no baby.
595
00:46:23,030 --> 00:46:25,992
There was nothing.
The baby was a phantom.
596
00:46:26,409 --> 00:46:30,246
It just came and went at the same time.
He was heartbroken.
597
00:46:38,754 --> 00:46:40,381
I got out of the place
as soon as I could
598
00:46:40,506 --> 00:46:42,008
and was I changed!
599
00:46:42,049 --> 00:46:44,885
I was thin again.
I could run around, just like I used to.
600
00:46:45,011 --> 00:46:47,722
No more pains.
Freedom, that's what it was.
601
00:46:47,805 --> 00:46:49,056
You don't understand.
602
00:46:49,098 --> 00:46:52,059
You have to realise how great it is
for a person to be free
603
00:46:52,143 --> 00:46:55,479
and not have babies all the time,
especially men and boys.
604
00:46:55,563 --> 00:46:59,734
It's good, I found, not to have babies
if you're a man or a boy.
605
00:47:00,151 --> 00:47:03,821
Well, Louis Jack was unhappy,
but I was so happy I had to be selfish,
606
00:47:03,904 --> 00:47:07,908
so I got out, first thing, I ran down
to the river at Richmond, I did.
607
00:47:07,950 --> 00:47:09,910
Was fife a breeze now!
608
00:47:09,952 --> 00:47:12,246
I'd never worry again, never.
609
00:47:12,830 --> 00:47:14,582
Or so I thought.
610
00:47:22,256 --> 00:47:24,175
And right after that,
I went back to her.
611
00:47:25,301 --> 00:47:29,096
Your Gracie seemed like
she'd been waiting for me for months,
612
00:47:29,180 --> 00:47:31,682
for years, forever.
613
00:47:32,600 --> 00:47:34,977
Like she didn't live without me.
614
00:48:00,044 --> 00:48:02,630
She was changed, but I didn't care.
615
00:48:03,297 --> 00:48:05,341
I just wanted her again.
616
00:48:05,674 --> 00:48:08,511
And she was good to me,
just like always,
617
00:48:08,636 --> 00:48:13,057
and with no questions asked about
all the months I hadn't been around.
618
00:48:18,354 --> 00:48:22,191
But what about poor Louis Jack?
He was really in the dumps.
619
00:48:22,400 --> 00:48:23,859
I kept away as much as possible,
620
00:48:23,984 --> 00:48:27,196
but I had to go back
to him sometimes, didn't I?
621
00:48:27,363 --> 00:48:31,033
He was listless.
He just sat around like a dead person.
622
00:48:31,492 --> 00:48:35,663
Or if he talked, he'd fret about
there being no baby, or nothing.
623
00:48:35,996 --> 00:48:39,667
I tried saying that there was a baby,
if only he saw it.
624
00:48:39,875 --> 00:48:42,920
I even pretended
there really was one there.
625
00:48:43,587 --> 00:48:47,842
But he didn't believe it,
though he tried sometimes to believe it.
626
00:48:48,426 --> 00:48:50,845
At last, I got the idea
of stealing a doll maybe,
627
00:48:50,928 --> 00:48:54,515
and he could pretend it was a real baby
and carry on with it
628
00:48:54,598 --> 00:48:56,892
and get off my back a little.
629
00:48:57,017 --> 00:49:00,896
LOUIS JACK: (WHISPERING)
...with the world or the heavens.
630
00:49:01,564 --> 00:49:05,192
Worm light singing in five tongues.
631
00:49:07,069 --> 00:49:10,364
The gift of tongues is within you.
632
00:49:11,240 --> 00:49:14,285
BUFFER: So when I saw this little girl
going along with her pram,
633
00:49:14,368 --> 00:49:15,870
I thought I could just run up
and take it,
634
00:49:15,911 --> 00:49:18,372
and she'd probably get over it.
635
00:49:18,914 --> 00:49:21,917
This is where I might have
made my mistake.
636
00:49:22,084 --> 00:49:25,713
You see, was it a little girl
with a doll in her pram?
637
00:49:26,881 --> 00:49:29,425
Or was it a lady with a real baby?
638
00:49:29,884 --> 00:49:32,094
I never could know for sure.
639
00:49:32,303 --> 00:49:33,888
Though, when I took it,
I could have swore
640
00:49:33,929 --> 00:49:36,474
that it was a little girl only,
with a toy doll,
641
00:49:36,557 --> 00:49:39,477
and not a real lady, with a real infant.
642
00:49:51,113 --> 00:49:53,324
LOUIS JACK. Mummy's darling little baby,
643
00:49:53,407 --> 00:49:56,243
coming, as you do,
from the world of ideals.
644
00:49:56,285 --> 00:50:00,164
Ideals! Pure beauty. Beauty.
645
00:50:00,247 --> 00:50:04,502
Truth. Darling, truth, honey lambkins,
you want to go potty?
646
00:50:04,585 --> 00:50:07,338
The beautiful little baby goes potty.
647
00:50:07,421 --> 00:50:11,383
Insanity! Born within the fibres
of the brain.
648
00:50:11,467 --> 00:50:14,345
Torn there into shreds.
649
00:50:14,428 --> 00:50:17,765
Little baby Jesus, little baby Jesus,
650
00:50:17,848 --> 00:50:21,268
little baby Jesus will not love you
if you don't go potty.
651
00:50:21,352 --> 00:50:24,813
BUFFER. Anyway, I had got something,
real or not, for Louis Jack.
652
00:50:24,897 --> 00:50:26,857
And he was very happy mothering it
653
00:50:26,941 --> 00:50:28,943
and fussing about
with all that junk he'd got
654
00:50:29,026 --> 00:50:31,946
when I was gestating around.
655
00:50:32,196 --> 00:50:34,532
I was sure it was only a doll.
656
00:50:34,698 --> 00:50:37,785
Every time I looked at it,
it was a doll.
657
00:50:37,868 --> 00:50:41,080
LOUIS JACK: Damn!
Goddamn, stupid, little...
658
00:50:44,083 --> 00:50:45,417
Be a good little baby now,
659
00:50:45,501 --> 00:50:48,337
or big mama Louis Jack
will be sending you off destroyed,
660
00:50:48,420 --> 00:50:50,965
to the outer reaches. Yeah! He will!
661
00:50:51,048 --> 00:50:52,466
(LAUGHING)
662
00:50:56,053 --> 00:50:58,681
Lay him, and darling,
and breathe a little darling,
663
00:50:58,764 --> 00:51:00,099
mummy Louis Jack's darling.
664
00:51:00,182 --> 00:51:01,350
“Give Daddy or Mummy your...“
665
00:51:01,433 --> 00:51:03,519
No squawking now, babykins.
666
00:51:03,602 --> 00:51:07,273
If you're not a good little baby,
Louis Jaok'll send you to heaven.
667
00:51:07,356 --> 00:51:08,691
He will!
668
00:51:09,441 --> 00:51:10,818
Baby love!
669
00:51:11,402 --> 00:51:13,696
Maybe big man William Wordsworth
will come and eat you up
670
00:51:13,779 --> 00:51:15,864
if you ain't good and shit a little
for Mama now,
671
00:51:15,948 --> 00:51:19,076
and eat your shit,
like a good little junkie baby, eh?
672
00:51:19,159 --> 00:51:21,954
Little babykins going to get his bib
all wet now.
673
00:51:22,037 --> 00:51:23,163
Is that a tittle little?
674
00:51:23,247 --> 00:51:25,374
I think so, yeah.
675
00:51:25,457 --> 00:51:27,543
Yeah, fairs and such.
676
00:51:27,626 --> 00:51:31,005
Beautiful, pure,
beautiful midsummer babe mouth,
677
00:51:31,088 --> 00:51:33,674
which I ain't never seen
in all my newborn days.
678
00:51:33,757 --> 00:51:35,301
Newborn days. Yeah!
679
00:51:35,384 --> 00:51:36,969
(LAUGHING)
680
00:51:37,052 --> 00:51:38,387
Likest of which.
681
00:51:38,470 --> 00:51:41,765
What art thou? What art thou, now?
682
00:51:41,849 --> 00:51:43,767
(MIMICKING BLACK SPIRITUAL)
# A child of de Lord
683
00:51:43,851 --> 00:51:46,103
# A child of de devil
A child... #
684
00:51:46,186 --> 00:51:50,316
Yeah! Louis Jack,
and that bad, bad boy, Duffer.
685
00:51:50,733 --> 00:51:52,610
Two daddies, yes, and two mummies,
686
00:51:52,693 --> 00:51:56,196
and a two-headed little
motherfucking puppy dog, yes!
687
00:51:57,531 --> 00:52:00,868
BUFFER. But sometimes,
I seemed to hear it crying.
688
00:52:01,619 --> 00:52:04,413
In fact, I heard it crying
almost all the time.
689
00:52:04,496 --> 00:52:08,083
And I thought there was something
wrong with my ears, maybe,
690
00:52:08,167 --> 00:52:10,210
until the time when it stopped crying.
691
00:52:10,294 --> 00:52:12,338
(BABY'S SCREAMING STOPS)
692
00:52:23,599 --> 00:52:26,143
Then I thought I'd better find out
once and for all.
693
00:52:26,226 --> 00:52:29,688
Louis Jack was asleep
and the doll looked like it was dead
694
00:52:29,772 --> 00:52:33,275
after Louis Jack had thrown it down
on the floor, you see,
695
00:52:33,359 --> 00:52:36,945
so I bundled it up in newspapers
and went off with it.
696
00:52:39,490 --> 00:52:42,409
There was this Mrs Rundall,
the tobacconist lady.
697
00:52:42,493 --> 00:52:45,746
She had lots of kids go in there.
She knew all about them.
698
00:52:45,829 --> 00:52:47,873
She'd tell me the truth.
699
00:52:48,040 --> 00:52:50,793
Was it real or not? And then I'd know.
700
00:52:51,293 --> 00:52:54,463
I can tell you, I was that scared
to go in there with it,
701
00:52:54,546 --> 00:52:56,715
in case it really was real.
702
00:52:57,341 --> 00:52:58,676
What kind of person am I?
703
00:52:58,759 --> 00:53:01,929
MRS RUNDALL: It's murder, all right.
It's looking very poorly.
704
00:53:02,554 --> 00:53:04,765
Can you tell me, Mrs Rundall,
is this baby real?
705
00:53:04,848 --> 00:53:06,975
MRS RUNDALL". It's real enough,
but it's looking poorly.
706
00:53:07,059 --> 00:53:09,228
BUFFER". Can you tell me, Mrs Rundall,
is this a real baby?
707
00:53:09,311 --> 00:53:11,605
MRS RUNDALL". It's real, all right,
but it don't look good.
708
00:53:11,689 --> 00:53:14,817
BUFFER". Can you tell me...
Oh, is it really real?
709
00:53:14,900 --> 00:53:18,320
MRS RUNDALL: It's real, all right.
But are you? What's happened to it?
710
00:53:18,404 --> 00:53:20,322
BUFFER". Can you tell me...
Oh, don't tell me.
711
00:53:20,406 --> 00:53:22,032
MRS RUNDALL". It's real enough,
but it's looking poorly.
712
00:53:22,116 --> 00:53:23,283
What did you do to it?
713
00:53:23,367 --> 00:53:26,120
BUFFER: Is it murder?
Oh, is it murder? Oh, is it?
714
00:53:26,203 --> 00:53:28,664
MRS RUNDALL: It's murder, all right.
It's real enough.
715
00:53:28,747 --> 00:53:30,624
It's looking very, very poorly.
716
00:53:30,708 --> 00:53:32,209
BUFFER: What kind of a person am I?
717
00:53:32,292 --> 00:53:35,421
MRS RUNDALL: It's murder, all right.
It's looking very poorly.
718
00:53:36,880 --> 00:53:39,758
DUFFER: (CRYING) What could I do?
I had to get rid of it.
719
00:53:39,842 --> 00:53:42,177
She said it was real. She did.
720
00:53:42,511 --> 00:53:45,639
I never had anything against babies
or kids, never.
721
00:53:45,723 --> 00:53:47,349
But I had to get rid of that one,
didn't I?
722
00:53:47,433 --> 00:53:48,767
(SOBBING)
723
00:53:51,895 --> 00:53:55,524
MRS RUNDALL". It's real enough,
but it's looking poorly.
724
00:53:56,024 --> 00:53:58,444
It's real, all right, but it don't...
725
00:53:58,527 --> 00:54:01,280
BUFFER: I felt like I was really lost.
726
00:54:01,780 --> 00:54:06,034
How could I tell the difference
between what was true and what wasn't?
727
00:54:06,118 --> 00:54:09,538
I'd thought the infant was a doll,
of course I did.
728
00:54:09,663 --> 00:54:11,957
But Mrs Rundall wouldn't lie.
729
00:54:12,332 --> 00:54:13,792
I knew that.
730
00:54:15,085 --> 00:54:16,587
She wouldn't.
731
00:54:17,463 --> 00:54:19,381
She had no reason to.
732
00:54:20,048 --> 00:54:21,717
I wanted to die.
733
00:54:22,926 --> 00:54:24,136
I did.
734
00:54:26,597 --> 00:54:30,267
So I went down to the river
to try to figure out what to do.
735
00:54:30,350 --> 00:54:32,686
MRS RUNDALL: It's real enough.
736
00:54:37,900 --> 00:54:39,610
It's real enough.
737
00:54:42,446 --> 00:54:44,615
It's murder, all right.
738
00:54:54,875 --> 00:54:56,794
What did you do to it?
739
00:55:14,394 --> 00:55:16,480
It's looking very poorly.
740
00:55:30,577 --> 00:55:33,956
BUFFER: But wherever I went,
I couldn't ever be alone.
741
00:55:34,039 --> 00:55:35,833
It seemed that way.
742
00:55:37,376 --> 00:55:39,294
Who were these people?
743
00:55:40,921 --> 00:55:42,840
Who were these people?
744
00:55:44,675 --> 00:55:46,677
Were they all after me?
745
00:55:47,219 --> 00:55:49,638
All I could think of was to run.
746
00:55:58,564 --> 00:56:00,649
But you can't run forever.
747
00:56:00,732 --> 00:56:04,278
When I got back to Louis Jack,
he was in a dead sleep.
748
00:56:04,361 --> 00:56:07,990
I didn't know what he would say
about the baby being gone.
749
00:56:08,073 --> 00:56:11,034
All I could think of was maybe
to kill him.
750
00:56:11,743 --> 00:56:14,329
I was a murderer already, wasn't I?
751
00:56:14,496 --> 00:56:16,790
Well, one more didn't matter.
752
00:56:16,874 --> 00:56:19,126
And wasn't it all his fault?
753
00:56:19,459 --> 00:56:21,628
Well, almost all his fault?
754
00:57:30,822 --> 00:57:33,116
But I had to think it out better.
755
00:57:33,200 --> 00:57:38,163
I'd go and tell Your Gracie everything,
and she'd know what to do, she'd know.
756
00:57:41,208 --> 00:57:43,335
(CONSTRUCTION NOISE)
757
00:58:03,480 --> 00:58:06,566
Everywhere I went,
the world seemed out of its head.
758
00:58:06,650 --> 00:58:09,069
Everybody hated everybody else.
759
00:58:09,361 --> 00:58:12,990
And it was weird, I can tell you,
to see and hear them.
760
00:58:23,041 --> 00:58:25,711
I knew his face. He was frightening.
761
00:58:26,253 --> 00:58:27,921
I knew his face.
762
00:58:28,088 --> 00:58:31,049
He was from somewhere.
I'd seen him before.
763
00:58:31,675 --> 00:58:33,385
Maybe in a dream.
764
00:58:36,596 --> 00:58:39,016
(RADIO PLAYING LIGHT POP MUSIC)
765
00:59:46,124 --> 00:59:47,834
(TOILET FLUSHING)
766
01:00:29,501 --> 01:00:30,710
(RADIO STOPPING)
767
01:00:30,836 --> 01:00:32,504
(DUFFER SOBBING)
768
01:00:36,591 --> 01:00:39,511
YOUR GRACIE: Duffer, love,
whatever's the matter?
769
01:00:39,761 --> 01:00:42,055
- You're alone?
- Why, yes, of course.
770
01:00:42,097 --> 01:00:43,431
(DUFFER SOBBING)
771
01:00:43,557 --> 01:00:44,933
Duffer, love!
772
01:00:48,395 --> 01:00:49,896
Duffer, love!
773
01:00:51,731 --> 01:00:53,692
Whatevefs the matter?
774
01:00:57,571 --> 01:00:59,364
DUFFER: You... You're alone?
775
01:00:59,406 --> 01:01:01,241
YOUR GRACIE: Why, yes, of course.
776
01:01:01,366 --> 01:01:03,118
But, Duffer, love...
777
01:01:09,749 --> 01:01:13,086
Now, tell me all about it, love.
You can tell me.
778
01:01:14,379 --> 01:01:17,883
BUFFER". It's... It's Louis Jack,
what he's done,
779
01:01:19,384 --> 01:01:21,261
what he's doing to me.
780
01:01:21,386 --> 01:01:24,764
I can't let him go,
but he's destroying me.
781
01:01:25,724 --> 01:01:27,434
I love you, I do.
782
01:01:28,226 --> 01:01:31,605
But I can't get rid of him, Your Gracie.
I just can't.
783
01:01:32,230 --> 01:01:34,983
It's pity. That's what did it.
784
01:01:36,109 --> 01:01:37,903
Tell me what to do.
785
01:01:37,944 --> 01:01:41,907
He's killed it. He's killed the baby.
It's dead.
786
01:01:42,908 --> 01:01:46,328
I killed it.
I had to put it in the dustbin.
787
01:01:47,120 --> 01:01:49,915
Mrs Rundal/ said it was real. She did.
788
01:01:50,665 --> 01:01:54,252
I don't know if it was real.
Maybe it wasn't.
789
01:01:55,253 --> 01:01:56,963
Maybe I made it all up.
790
01:01:57,088 --> 01:02:00,467
Maybe I didn't ever take it
to Mrs Runda/Vs, even.
791
01:02:01,259 --> 01:02:03,261
Maybe I'm not really even here.
792
01:02:03,303 --> 01:02:04,346
(GASPING)
793
01:02:04,471 --> 01:02:07,474
Oh, Your Gracie! Oh...
794
01:02:07,599 --> 01:02:11,645
YOUR GRACIE: There, there, Duffer, love.
I'll piece it all out.
795
01:02:12,312 --> 01:02:15,148
HI figure it all out.
You can trust me.
796
01:02:16,358 --> 01:02:19,319
PH fix everything up for you,
everything.
797
01:02:19,819 --> 01:02:23,365
Everything will be all right.
I'll see to it.
798
01:02:23,949 --> 01:02:25,700
BUFFER. Really? Really?
799
01:02:25,825 --> 01:02:28,995
YOUR GRACE: Yes, really, love.
It's all right.
800
01:02:29,871 --> 01:02:32,874
I will look after you from now on.
801
01:02:34,125 --> 01:02:36,503
BUFFER". I did just as she said.
802
01:02:36,544 --> 01:02:39,756
I could just relax, forget everything.
803
01:02:41,508 --> 01:02:44,761
I was like I was in a seventh heaven
or something.
804
01:02:44,844 --> 01:02:47,722
I suppose I was like putty in her hands.
805
01:03:18,545 --> 01:03:21,464
She'd put me in
one of her own nightgowns.
806
01:03:21,715 --> 01:03:25,552
She had me bedded down.
She was going to manage everything.
807
01:03:26,636 --> 01:03:29,139
Everything, forever.
808
01:04:03,131 --> 01:04:04,591
She'd gone.
809
01:04:04,841 --> 01:04:08,470
And it was wonderful at first,
to be so looked after.
810
01:04:09,929 --> 01:04:12,515
But then it gradually came over me.
811
01:04:13,016 --> 01:04:14,434
Gradually.
812
01:04:34,954 --> 01:04:36,664
I had done wrong.
813
01:04:37,499 --> 01:04:40,377
I shouldn't have told her. It was wrong.
814
01:04:40,668 --> 01:04:42,962
I shouldn't have been there.
815
01:04:43,463 --> 01:04:45,965
She shouldn't be with Louis Jack.
816
01:04:46,966 --> 01:04:49,844
I shouldn't put
those two together, ever.
817
01:04:50,011 --> 01:04:53,014
What had made me do it? I'd forgotten.
818
01:04:55,350 --> 01:04:57,894
All I knew was that I had to get back
to Louis Jack as fast as I could.
819
01:04:57,977 --> 01:04:59,521
(KNOCKING AT DOOR)
820
01:04:59,646 --> 01:05:01,314
What kind of a person was I
to do all these things?
821
01:05:01,398 --> 01:05:02,482
(KNOCKING AT DOOR)
822
01:05:02,524 --> 01:05:04,317
YOUR GRACIE: Come on, open up.
823
01:05:04,359 --> 01:05:05,402
(KNOCKING AT DOOR)
824
01:05:05,485 --> 01:05:07,070
I know you're there.
825
01:05:07,153 --> 01:05:08,196
(KNOCKING AT DOOR)
826
01:05:08,321 --> 01:05:09,989
Come on, open up, you!
827
01:05:10,031 --> 01:05:11,074
(POUNDING ON DOOR)
828
01:05:11,157 --> 01:05:12,992
You, I know you're there!
829
01:05:13,034 --> 01:05:14,160
(POUNDING ON DOOR)
830
01:05:14,244 --> 01:05:16,871
If you don't open up, I'll break in.
831
01:05:17,330 --> 01:05:19,499
(BANGING ON DOOR)
832
01:05:19,749 --> 01:05:21,501
DUFFER: Stay away.
833
01:05:22,168 --> 01:05:23,920
(BANGING ON DOOR)
834
01:05:25,338 --> 01:05:27,340
YOUR GRACIE: It's not even locked.
835
01:05:27,382 --> 01:05:33,221
So, you! You are the one
who's been taking him away from me!
836
01:05:33,847 --> 01:05:37,016
Well, we'll see about that.
837
01:05:37,100 --> 01:05:42,397
LOUIS JACK: Give me back my baby!
Give me back my baby!
838
01:05:42,522 --> 01:05:46,901
You womanimal! Womanimal!
Give me back my baby!
839
01:05:46,985 --> 01:05:52,365
If you don't give me back my baby,
womanimal, I'll kill you!
840
01:05:52,449 --> 01:05:54,868
YOUR GRACE". You stay away from me!
Stay away...
841
01:05:54,951 --> 01:05:57,036
(YOUR GRACIE SCREAMING)
842
01:06:02,333 --> 01:06:03,501
(LOUIS JACK YELLING)
843
01:06:03,585 --> 01:06:05,211
(CHUCKLING)
844
01:06:10,467 --> 01:06:12,135
(INAUDIBLE)
845
01:06:22,353 --> 01:06:24,230
(LOUIS JACK GRUNTING)
846
01:06:24,731 --> 01:06:27,358
LOUIS JACK: It's just a f-fire.
847
01:06:28,276 --> 01:06:31,779
Female guts!
848
01:06:32,697 --> 01:06:33,740
(LOUIS JACK GIGGLING)
849
01:06:33,823 --> 01:06:37,452
Sewer, filthy rats, I'll...
850
01:06:37,744 --> 01:06:40,413
(LOUIS JACK LAUGHING)
851
01:06:40,497 --> 01:06:44,667
Absolutely nothing. Nothing now.
852
01:06:45,168 --> 01:06:46,544
(LOUIS JACK GIGGLING)
853
01:06:46,628 --> 01:06:48,796
I have her in my...
854
01:06:49,380 --> 01:06:50,465
(LOUIS JACK LAUGHING)
855
01:06:50,548 --> 01:06:52,383
Poke her myself.
856
01:06:52,467 --> 01:06:56,054
You thought you could get him from me.
You thought you could get him from me.
857
01:06:56,137 --> 01:06:59,015
No woman could ever get him
away from me.
858
01:06:59,724 --> 01:07:00,892
Ever!
859
01:11:26,616 --> 01:11:29,619
YOUR GRACIE: He was
a lovely boy in his way.
860
01:11:30,036 --> 01:11:31,871
Just like you.
861
01:11:31,954 --> 01:11:36,751
And I thought, since it had been so long
since I'd seen you...
862
01:11:37,835 --> 01:11:40,129
I've always loved boys.
863
01:11:40,213 --> 01:11:42,757
I'd never hardly blame you,
now, could I?
864
01:11:42,840 --> 01:11:45,885
LOUIS JACK: It's clear.
Now our fighting's gone.
865
01:11:46,219 --> 01:11:50,681
Of course you would.
There are spies afoot.
866
01:11:50,765 --> 01:11:53,267
Females floating in the universe.
867
01:11:54,435 --> 01:11:56,896
You will find me black.
868
01:11:57,480 --> 01:12:00,942
You will find me where ladies sing.
869
01:12:01,317 --> 01:12:03,778
What is your relationship
with this woman?
870
01:12:03,861 --> 01:12:05,905
You do not know me, you cow!
871
01:12:06,906 --> 01:12:11,494
YOUR GRACE: Arms and legs
that disappear in the half-light,
872
01:12:11,577 --> 01:12:15,873
and one woman in the night
that tells you someone is near,
873
01:12:16,541 --> 01:12:20,169
sentient, ready to warm your body,
874
01:12:21,420 --> 01:12:25,383
even though your body is disappeared
into where?
875
01:12:26,926 --> 01:12:29,595
Some infinity of disgrace.
876
01:12:34,517 --> 01:12:38,437
LOUIS JACK: You know yourself.
You do not be.
877
01:12:39,105 --> 01:12:43,025
I am thou, and thou art l.
878
01:12:43,442 --> 01:12:46,946
YOUR GRACIE: I am thou, and thou an' I.
879
01:12:47,113 --> 01:12:51,909
LOUIS JACK: In the shadows,
the folds of time, I appear.
880
01:12:52,201 --> 01:12:54,287
YOUR GRACIE: I disappear.
881
01:12:54,871 --> 01:12:59,458
The reality beyond which does not exist.
78042
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