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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,627 --> 00:00:05,983 GRAAL and the Greek Film Centre present 2 00:00:07,347 --> 00:00:10,339 a film by George Panoussopoulos 3 00:00:11,787 --> 00:00:16,099 TESTOSTERONE 4 00:02:23,067 --> 00:02:25,103 Hey sailor! Your coffee's ready! 5 00:02:29,067 --> 00:02:30,341 Hey, man!... 6 00:02:31,027 --> 00:02:33,143 You know what the trouble is, Zachos? 7 00:02:33,627 --> 00:02:37,097 OK, so I waste one day of my leave on the car. Fuck it. 8 00:02:37,267 --> 00:02:39,383 But what if your cousin changes her mind and doesn't show up? 9 00:02:40,627 --> 00:02:41,503 What then? 10 00:02:41,667 --> 00:02:43,623 Relax man. Kitsa's cool. 11 00:02:43,827 --> 00:02:46,182 I'm telling you man, she's got the hots for you. 12 00:02:46,427 --> 00:02:49,658 There's no way she won't come. I know what I'm saying! 13 00:02:51,267 --> 00:02:54,862 You just make sure you do your duty, Cause no car, no pussy. 14 00:02:55,347 --> 00:02:57,656 What if the car doesn't start? It's been in the garage two years. 15 00:02:57,827 --> 00:03:00,625 Ever heard of a 'VW Beetle', newbie? 16 00:03:00,827 --> 00:03:03,216 A quick jumpstart and you're flying! 17 00:03:03,947 --> 00:03:06,461 It's a mean machine... Shows you're a man... 18 00:03:06,667 --> 00:03:08,020 who gets thing done. 19 00:03:08,147 --> 00:03:09,705 Women go for that shit, dude! 20 00:03:09,987 --> 00:03:12,262 Yeah, so long as Kitsa doesn't change her mind... 21 00:03:12,387 --> 00:03:14,025 and I end up being fucked... 22 00:03:14,427 --> 00:03:17,624 Man, you're a fuckin' asshole. Just listen to yourself! 23 00:03:18,267 --> 00:03:20,827 You got an aunt that worships you, and wants to give you a car. 24 00:03:21,107 --> 00:03:23,257 I've made sure there'll be pussy waiting for you... 25 00:03:23,427 --> 00:03:24,860 ...in the back seat... 26 00:03:25,067 --> 00:03:27,422 What can I say man?... Fuckin' reject! 27 00:03:30,027 --> 00:03:32,097 Check her out! Would you stick it in her? 28 00:03:32,747 --> 00:03:34,578 If she puts out? You bet! 29 00:03:35,547 --> 00:03:37,265 Not the one in the ad, stupid, the other one... 30 00:03:37,387 --> 00:03:39,264 ...sitting. Would you do her? 31 00:03:39,867 --> 00:03:42,017 Her? Nah... 32 00:03:42,427 --> 00:03:43,985 Gimme a break, man! 33 00:03:44,587 --> 00:03:48,136 You're so horny you'd do my fuckin' Grandma! 34 00:03:53,867 --> 00:03:56,427 What's up, guys? Is my wife a beauty or what? 35 00:03:57,347 --> 00:04:02,501 Relax! Just kidding! All the women in the world are mine... 36 00:04:02,787 --> 00:04:04,823 if I get to fuck them. Right? 37 00:04:06,027 --> 00:04:07,255 What did I tell you? 38 00:04:07,427 --> 00:04:10,464 What's more guys, the day will come, 39 00:04:10,867 --> 00:04:12,380 and this is science speaking no bullshit, 40 00:04:12,547 --> 00:04:14,458 when we won't have to go runnin' after them... 41 00:04:14,587 --> 00:04:16,418 - ...they'll be running after us! - But it's already happening! 42 00:04:17,347 --> 00:04:19,815 When did it start? How come I never heard about it? 43 00:04:29,067 --> 00:04:31,706 Hey! Yes, I'm here. 44 00:04:32,707 --> 00:04:34,538 In the fuckin boonies. 45 00:04:35,107 --> 00:04:37,018 I can't believe you talked me into this! 46 00:04:37,147 --> 00:04:38,819 Stop bitching, swabbie! 47 00:04:39,027 --> 00:04:40,699 It's only one fuckin night. You'll be back tomorrow. 48 00:04:41,107 --> 00:04:42,745 Yeah, anyway, we'll talk tomorrow. 49 00:04:43,667 --> 00:04:47,057 The moment I set foot on the island I got depressed. 50 00:04:48,227 --> 00:04:50,661 I remember what summer was like here, when I was a kid. 51 00:04:51,187 --> 00:04:55,226 Tits, chicks, and tiny bikinis... Now... it's a fuckin' desert. 52 00:04:55,667 --> 00:04:57,464 As for pussy? Nothing! 53 00:05:00,907 --> 00:05:03,216 Take it easy Argyro! Whazzup, auntie? 54 00:05:03,667 --> 00:05:05,737 - Welcome, my boy! - Hey there, auntie. 55 00:05:05,947 --> 00:05:07,300 Bring the boy's backpack inside, girl! 56 00:05:07,427 --> 00:05:08,496 We'll have the time of our life. 57 00:05:08,747 --> 00:05:10,658 Come boy, let me give you a hug. 58 00:05:10,787 --> 00:05:12,140 Careful, girl you'll kill him! 59 00:05:18,347 --> 00:05:20,815 - How're things in the army? - It's the navy... 60 00:05:21,067 --> 00:05:23,262 OK, I guess. First days were hard, but now things... 61 00:05:23,707 --> 00:05:26,175 You've nothing to worry about! You're a true 'Kontoleon'! 62 00:05:26,427 --> 00:05:28,463 The blood of your grandpa runs through your veins... 63 00:05:28,667 --> 00:05:30,703 and my grandfather, and my grandfather's grandfather... 64 00:05:30,827 --> 00:05:32,704 the pirate! Come on, let's go inside! 65 00:05:32,947 --> 00:05:36,064 "Captain, oh captain get your uniform ready... 66 00:05:36,307 --> 00:05:40,505 'cuz come Sunday, don't you forget I'm gonna be your wife..." 67 00:05:43,187 --> 00:05:44,586 Fuck! 68 00:05:48,667 --> 00:05:50,419 Jesus fucking Christ! 69 00:05:50,547 --> 00:05:53,266 First thing to go wrong. The cell's fucked. 70 00:05:53,467 --> 00:05:56,106 St Elijah's church's in the way. No signal... 71 00:05:56,307 --> 00:05:58,616 And if saints want a piece of me... 72 00:05:58,827 --> 00:06:00,385 I'm fucked! 73 00:06:29,307 --> 00:06:31,741 - Where are your trunks, boy? - What trunks? 74 00:06:31,907 --> 00:06:34,375 Don't you wear undies in the navy? Did they take them from you? 75 00:06:34,667 --> 00:06:37,135 - Who'd take them? - The Turks... I don't know... 76 00:06:37,347 --> 00:06:38,860 Turks? It's that they're tight... 77 00:06:39,067 --> 00:06:42,776 Oh they're tight, huh? Now you eat up. You look scrawny! 78 00:06:43,907 --> 00:06:46,580 I've cooked you the biggest rooster in the yard for you. 79 00:06:46,827 --> 00:06:48,943 Your grandpa, remember him, God rest his soul... 80 00:06:49,027 --> 00:06:51,302 he'd eat four roosters in one sitting, all by himself! The greatest lover! 81 00:06:51,627 --> 00:06:53,857 - Grandpa was the greatest lover? - The rooster was. 82 00:06:57,227 --> 00:07:01,140 If it wasn't for that old cow, I'd be all alone in the world. 83 00:07:01,787 --> 00:07:05,018 You cry out and no one hears you in this place! 84 00:07:06,987 --> 00:07:08,579 What was that? D'you hear that? 85 00:07:08,827 --> 00:07:12,263 You mean "the present" your good- for-nothing sister brought with her? 86 00:07:12,307 --> 00:07:14,263 Roula? Roula's here? Isn't she in London? 87 00:07:14,387 --> 00:07:15,615 - When did she get back? - Sit down. 88 00:07:15,787 --> 00:07:17,823 She's not here. She's coming tomorrow or the day after. 89 00:07:18,067 --> 00:07:20,103 Seems she's looking for stuff for an exhibition she's having. 90 00:07:20,147 --> 00:07:22,024 This time she brought Two more of her kind! 91 00:07:22,387 --> 00:07:24,139 What's that stuff she's looking for? I've got no idea. 92 00:07:24,347 --> 00:07:26,417 A man, probably, cause there's a shortage, 93 00:07:26,667 --> 00:07:29,022 in England. They ran out of real men years ago. Eat up! 94 00:07:30,427 --> 00:07:32,065 Didn't she tell you where she was going? 95 00:07:32,227 --> 00:07:33,945 Naxos... Syros... 96 00:07:34,067 --> 00:07:36,262 Fuck! I'm leaving tomorrow. 97 00:07:36,507 --> 00:07:39,943 You won't be missing much. So are you taking the car? 98 00:07:41,027 --> 00:07:43,700 - Yeah, if you don't mind... - Way to go, boy! 99 00:07:43,907 --> 00:07:46,546 You're my precious nephew. Everything I've got is yours to take. 100 00:07:46,987 --> 00:07:49,421 What's more, if you don't take the car that bitch sister of yours sure will... 101 00:07:49,587 --> 00:07:50,576 and I ain't planning on giving it to her! 102 00:07:50,707 --> 00:07:51,776 I'll take it. 103 00:07:51,947 --> 00:07:53,585 I'll check it out tomorrow. 104 00:07:53,747 --> 00:07:55,544 Is Vlassis still running that auto-repair shop? 105 00:07:55,747 --> 00:07:57,180 I need to have the battery charged. 106 00:07:57,427 --> 00:07:59,304 - The shop's still open. - It's nine fifty-five. 107 00:07:59,507 --> 00:08:01,418 If he's not there his sister is. 108 00:08:01,587 --> 00:08:03,339 So, my boy, everything is OK. 109 00:08:03,587 --> 00:08:05,225 Got to go now. See you tomorrow. 110 00:08:05,427 --> 00:08:08,976 I got an appointment with Dolores in Buenos Aires. 111 00:08:12,187 --> 00:08:13,540 Goodnight! 112 00:08:18,307 --> 00:08:20,298 Your aunt really loves you. 113 00:08:30,267 --> 00:08:32,383 Dimitroula took these pictures... 114 00:08:32,587 --> 00:08:33,656 last year... 115 00:08:38,347 --> 00:08:40,463 She says she'll send them to New York... 116 00:08:40,707 --> 00:08:42,698 to the "xobition"... 117 00:09:24,667 --> 00:09:26,623 First night on the island. 118 00:09:27,147 --> 00:09:31,140 My old room. The room where I'd spend my summers as a kid. 119 00:09:35,107 --> 00:09:37,826 This is where I first jerked off with that Swedish chick. 120 00:09:41,507 --> 00:09:43,225 I've got to wrap things up and get going... 121 00:09:43,387 --> 00:09:45,742 before any shit happens in this fucked up place. 122 00:10:08,067 --> 00:10:10,501 Argyro milked the cow with her own little hands. 123 00:10:10,667 --> 00:10:14,296 She won't let anyone else milk Marigoula. Remember your uncle? 124 00:10:14,467 --> 00:10:16,776 He used to drink the milk straight out of the bucket! 125 00:10:22,627 --> 00:10:24,936 Come on, lazy bones. Finish up with the rooster. 126 00:10:25,227 --> 00:10:26,899 Go iron the boy's clothes. 127 00:10:27,787 --> 00:10:29,823 I've got an errand for you in the village. 128 00:10:30,227 --> 00:10:31,501 What sort of errand? 129 00:10:31,747 --> 00:10:33,863 Check out these lottery numbers for me 130 00:10:35,987 --> 00:10:37,136 Clumsy cunt! 131 00:10:37,307 --> 00:10:38,342 Aunt! 132 00:10:44,867 --> 00:10:46,346 No, no. 133 00:10:46,747 --> 00:10:48,863 Don't touch this one, boy, don't touch her. 134 00:10:50,707 --> 00:10:53,346 - I'm going to my room. Call me when you're ready to leave. 135 00:10:53,667 --> 00:10:55,498 Gonna go to the garage to check out the car. 136 00:10:56,147 --> 00:10:57,375 Is the door locked? 137 00:10:57,587 --> 00:10:59,145 Call me to open up for you. 138 00:11:16,227 --> 00:11:18,024 This car's been everywhere. 139 00:11:18,547 --> 00:11:23,382 All over Europe... Now it's yours, my boy! 140 00:11:24,947 --> 00:11:27,939 Drive safely and Godspeed! 141 00:11:31,147 --> 00:11:33,138 Zachos says we should do things our way... 142 00:11:33,347 --> 00:11:35,303 ...go against the grain in this 'cult' classic, 143 00:11:35,507 --> 00:11:37,975 but this piece of shit isn't going anywhere. 144 00:11:38,747 --> 00:11:40,499 I'm afraid I'm spending one more night on this island. 145 00:11:41,067 --> 00:11:43,501 At least if I get lucky with that bra stuffing Chinese chick. 146 00:11:43,667 --> 00:11:45,658 Anyway, if the Beetle gets started I'm outta here. 147 00:11:53,627 --> 00:11:54,821 Petros! 148 00:11:56,107 --> 00:11:58,860 It's me Olga. Remember me? 149 00:11:59,667 --> 00:12:02,181 I live next door... Mr. Vangelis' daughter... 150 00:12:04,227 --> 00:12:06,138 Right. So, Olga, what's up? 151 00:12:06,387 --> 00:12:08,378 Good. And you? I heard you're in the Navy. 152 00:12:08,547 --> 00:12:10,139 - Yeah. - And you came to see us. 153 00:12:10,307 --> 00:12:12,138 I'm on my leave. I came to get the car. 154 00:12:13,147 --> 00:12:14,899 Your aunt said you'd be here working on the car... 155 00:12:15,107 --> 00:12:18,179 and I thought I'd bring you some cherry preserve. 156 00:12:19,107 --> 00:12:22,019 Come on! Try some! I made it myself. 157 00:12:23,547 --> 00:12:24,662 Nice, huh? 158 00:12:25,467 --> 00:12:28,618 See? I told you so. Now have some water. 159 00:12:30,947 --> 00:12:34,622 I make all sorts of preserves. Bergamot, bitter orange, figs... 160 00:12:37,987 --> 00:12:40,342 - How long are you staying for? - I'm thinking of leaving today. 161 00:12:40,547 --> 00:12:42,265 Got to get the battery fixed first... 162 00:12:42,427 --> 00:12:44,224 if I miss the ferry today, tomorrow, the latest. 163 00:12:44,347 --> 00:12:47,623 - So soon? -We, sailors, never stay in one place long. 164 00:12:47,667 --> 00:12:49,419 - Olga! - My Dad! 165 00:12:50,627 --> 00:12:52,424 I'll be back, so you can taste more of my preserves. 166 00:12:52,747 --> 00:12:54,624 Olga! Come on! 167 00:12:54,787 --> 00:12:56,140 - The tray! - It's ok. I'll get it later. 168 00:12:56,907 --> 00:12:58,943 You'll see. I've made great progress! 169 00:13:20,987 --> 00:13:23,581 "Let me kiss your lips And let me die..." 170 00:13:23,827 --> 00:13:25,738 Hey, girls! 171 00:13:26,107 --> 00:13:27,699 Hey there! 172 00:13:27,907 --> 00:13:30,501 Bottoms up! 173 00:13:39,027 --> 00:13:40,938 - Good morning. - Good morning. 174 00:13:41,347 --> 00:13:42,905 Who's that? Looks familiar. 175 00:13:49,067 --> 00:13:50,136 Vlassis! 176 00:13:51,747 --> 00:13:52,862 Vlassis! 177 00:13:59,987 --> 00:14:01,056 Petros! 178 00:14:02,667 --> 00:14:04,100 Petros? Is that you? 179 00:14:04,227 --> 00:14:06,138 Good morning, Mrs. Angela. How are you? 180 00:14:09,467 --> 00:14:11,503 You've grown up! I barely recognized you! 181 00:14:11,667 --> 00:14:14,306 - I heard you're in the Navy? - Yes, I'm on leave. 182 00:14:14,427 --> 00:14:15,940 So, how are things? How's Mr. Phaidon? 183 00:14:18,507 --> 00:14:20,259 It's been two years that he... 184 00:14:21,467 --> 00:14:24,698 But anyway... Life goes on... But enough about me. 185 00:14:24,947 --> 00:14:26,858 Tell me about yourself. Life is for youth... 186 00:14:27,067 --> 00:14:30,377 And what youth! You're a real doll, just like your father! 187 00:14:30,987 --> 00:14:34,297 Well, Petros! That was a surprise! Do drop by... 188 00:14:35,067 --> 00:14:36,295 - I want to see more of you. - Sure. 189 00:14:36,427 --> 00:14:38,019 Do you happen to know where Vlassis is? 190 00:14:38,187 --> 00:14:40,303 No, it's been days since I saw him last. 191 00:14:40,427 --> 00:14:42,418 He's left Vasso to fill in for him... 192 00:14:42,627 --> 00:14:44,618 but all she cares about is soap operas. 193 00:14:44,787 --> 00:14:45,856 Mrs. Angela! The cookies! 194 00:14:45,987 --> 00:14:47,659 Oh, that's Dimitris! We have to get the cookies out of the oven. 195 00:14:47,747 --> 00:14:48,623 Excuse me. 196 00:14:48,827 --> 00:14:50,055 - You'll come by again, right? - Sure, sure. 197 00:14:50,187 --> 00:14:52,417 Hey, Angela... what's up? 198 00:14:52,507 --> 00:14:54,338 How're you coping with your loss? 199 00:15:01,427 --> 00:15:03,463 - Hey babe! - Fuck off! 200 00:15:06,267 --> 00:15:07,177 Vasso! 201 00:15:08,467 --> 00:15:10,423 Hey Vasso, what's up? You OK? 202 00:15:12,067 --> 00:15:15,946 Vasso? It's me, Petros, Mrs. Fotoula's nephew. 203 00:15:19,307 --> 00:15:20,535 How are you? You OK? 204 00:15:20,747 --> 00:15:22,942 Vasso? Vasso, are you OK? 205 00:15:23,067 --> 00:15:23,783 Vasso? 206 00:15:24,107 --> 00:15:25,460 Chill out, Vasso. 207 00:15:31,227 --> 00:15:32,546 Eusebio! 208 00:15:41,507 --> 00:15:44,101 Yeah, we kinda look alike. He's in a soap thingy, right? 209 00:15:44,307 --> 00:15:45,581 Fucking A! 210 00:15:45,747 --> 00:15:46,577 He's good, eh? 211 00:15:46,747 --> 00:15:48,544 Fucking A! 212 00:15:49,107 --> 00:15:51,098 Listen, I brought a battery that needs to be charged. 213 00:15:52,107 --> 00:15:53,142 Give it to me. 214 00:15:58,547 --> 00:15:59,502 Here. 215 00:16:00,267 --> 00:16:01,461 When are you leaving? 216 00:16:01,747 --> 00:16:04,136 I've arranged to go off for the W.E. with some friends. 217 00:16:04,347 --> 00:16:05,575 'W.E.'? What's that? 218 00:16:05,747 --> 00:16:07,226 Weekend in Arachova... 219 00:16:07,427 --> 00:16:09,463 and I'm also hoping to fix Grandpa's Beetle. 220 00:16:09,547 --> 00:16:11,139 Weekend? Whoa kiddo, take it easy. 221 00:16:11,387 --> 00:16:13,184 D'you know how long it takes for a battery to charge? 222 00:16:13,347 --> 00:16:15,065 Yes, but I've only got a few days off. 223 00:16:20,507 --> 00:16:23,260 It's been two years since your Grandpa died, right? 224 00:16:23,387 --> 00:16:24,183 Yes. 225 00:16:24,867 --> 00:16:27,142 What do you think... 226 00:16:29,987 --> 00:16:32,296 Fuck! I got it everywhere. 227 00:16:33,067 --> 00:16:35,456 By the way, where's Vlassis? 228 00:16:35,987 --> 00:16:38,785 Vlassis? The asshole's in Athens. 229 00:16:39,947 --> 00:16:42,745 Every winter he leaves me here to clean after his shit. 230 00:16:45,347 --> 00:16:47,417 Good thing you know about cars and you can manage. 231 00:16:47,627 --> 00:16:49,663 Well, I gotta have some skills, right? 232 00:16:53,307 --> 00:16:56,140 A girl my age has to start thinking about settling down! 233 00:16:59,627 --> 00:17:01,219 It's charging OK, right? 234 00:17:02,787 --> 00:17:04,379 Backgammon? 235 00:17:04,587 --> 00:17:06,225 Let's play a little backgammon. 236 00:17:07,267 --> 00:17:08,256 Get the chair. 237 00:17:11,667 --> 00:17:14,545 But not Moultezin style... Beavers. I'm a Beavers kinda woman. 238 00:17:16,227 --> 00:17:17,342 Roll the dice. 239 00:17:50,867 --> 00:17:51,504 Aunt! Aunt! 240 00:17:51,587 --> 00:17:55,978 Aunt! I'm off! The engine's running and I'll miss the boat! 241 00:17:56,147 --> 00:17:57,580 D'you hear me? 242 00:17:59,907 --> 00:18:02,057 See! That's a mighty car you've got. 243 00:18:02,347 --> 00:18:06,056 Come, boy. Here's a few Euros for the trip. I'd given you more.. 244 00:18:06,227 --> 00:18:09,185 but fucking Lazio won the visitors' game and wrung me dry! 245 00:18:09,467 --> 00:18:10,456 Thanks! 246 00:18:12,547 --> 00:18:14,344 Thanks for everything, Aunt! 247 00:18:14,547 --> 00:18:15,457 Go! Go now! 248 00:18:15,587 --> 00:18:16,417 So long Argyro! 249 00:18:20,427 --> 00:18:24,181 Come on, lazy bones. Get cracking. There's work to be done! 250 00:18:59,387 --> 00:19:01,423 Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! 251 00:19:01,547 --> 00:19:04,778 In the end my worst fear came true... 252 00:19:06,027 --> 00:19:07,983 or to be more precise... 253 00:19:08,227 --> 00:19:10,263 the whole story begins right here. 254 00:19:10,507 --> 00:19:12,463 Can you give us a ride? 255 00:19:12,667 --> 00:19:14,020 We're going to the port. 256 00:19:56,667 --> 00:19:57,986 Shush! 257 00:19:59,107 --> 00:20:02,702 Come on, I need an eight... one more eight. Come on... 258 00:20:02,987 --> 00:20:05,182 One more eight... 259 00:20:07,987 --> 00:20:09,579 A ten... a ten... 260 00:20:10,307 --> 00:20:12,696 - Fuck you, you stupid whore! - We lost. 261 00:20:12,987 --> 00:20:14,579 Shut up, you cow. 262 00:20:15,107 --> 00:20:15,823 Aunt... 263 00:20:15,987 --> 00:20:17,978 Still here, boy? Thought you'd left. 264 00:20:18,147 --> 00:20:19,216 What's going on in here? 265 00:20:19,987 --> 00:20:22,296 I was just playing poker with a bitch from Santiago... 266 00:20:22,587 --> 00:20:26,102 - I've never seen such luck, the cunt. - That's right. 267 00:20:27,987 --> 00:20:29,386 How come you didn't leave? 268 00:20:29,547 --> 00:20:31,105 The engine died and I missed the boat. 269 00:20:31,147 --> 00:20:32,739 - The engine? How come? - I don't know... 270 00:20:33,227 --> 00:20:34,865 but I need to make a phone call. 271 00:20:35,867 --> 00:20:39,257 I'm always on line, sweetie. Betting on some numbers now... 272 00:20:39,387 --> 00:20:41,378 and then a game or two... just killing time. 273 00:20:41,547 --> 00:20:43,378 And what am I supposed to do? My cell's out of range. 274 00:20:43,667 --> 00:20:47,103 Don't worry. You don't need it. No more boats leaving today. 275 00:20:47,427 --> 00:20:49,304 - Try again tomorrow. - Yeah, tomorrow. 276 00:20:49,507 --> 00:20:51,418 - Fotoula? - How should I play Sirkhan? 277 00:20:51,587 --> 00:20:54,943 A length ahead, half-a-length ahead... 278 00:20:55,187 --> 00:20:59,305 5:7 to win. What do you think? 279 00:20:59,427 --> 00:21:00,576 - Sure win. - Right. 280 00:21:06,267 --> 00:21:08,462 - What's the matter? - Ok, are you listening? 281 00:21:08,627 --> 00:21:09,343 Yea h. 282 00:21:10,227 --> 00:21:13,697 Inter - La Coruna. The odds are 1:35. 283 00:21:14,467 --> 00:21:16,105 I don't know, goddammit it. What d'you think? 284 00:21:16,587 --> 00:21:17,622 Inter. 285 00:21:17,747 --> 00:21:18,463 What? 286 00:21:18,587 --> 00:21:19,383 Inter. 287 00:21:19,827 --> 00:21:23,263 Inter? Not likely... goddammit. 288 00:21:37,027 --> 00:21:39,587 Things aren't going too well. 289 00:21:40,267 --> 00:21:43,259 I got off to a bad start. 290 00:21:43,587 --> 00:21:47,660 I'm cut off from the world, just like in movies. 291 00:21:49,867 --> 00:21:52,984 Unless Mitsuko pops in and asks for a rubdown. 292 00:21:53,907 --> 00:21:55,898 Things like that happen in movies, too. 293 00:22:36,547 --> 00:22:39,619 Argyro! Have you ironed the table felt? 294 00:23:02,147 --> 00:23:05,298 Petros! Will you play this lotto ticket for me? 295 00:23:06,987 --> 00:23:08,466 OK. It's on the table. 296 00:23:27,347 --> 00:23:28,177 I see... 297 00:23:55,067 --> 00:23:56,864 You want go with Petra (Rock)? 298 00:23:56,987 --> 00:23:58,102 Who's Petra? 299 00:23:58,547 --> 00:24:00,219 I am Petra. 300 00:24:00,667 --> 00:24:02,623 - Hi there, Petros. - Hi there, Petra. 301 00:24:12,947 --> 00:24:15,586 I've got to take the battery to the garage... 302 00:24:18,507 --> 00:24:20,384 OK. Hop on. I take you to the village. 303 00:24:22,707 --> 00:24:25,221 I love swimming In the sea. 304 00:24:35,027 --> 00:24:36,585 Hold on tight, Petros! 305 00:25:06,347 --> 00:25:09,020 Petros... you come see Petra. OK? 306 00:25:19,547 --> 00:25:20,946 ...bathing suit... 307 00:25:24,227 --> 00:25:26,616 No clothes to swim, No clothes. 308 00:25:37,427 --> 00:25:38,826 The slut. 309 00:25:59,067 --> 00:25:59,977 Fuck! 310 00:26:00,747 --> 00:26:02,100 Is this OK? 311 00:26:02,307 --> 00:26:03,945 A little further to the right. 312 00:26:04,067 --> 00:26:06,217 - Are you sure? - Yes. 313 00:26:08,947 --> 00:26:11,745 - Is this good? - Great. 314 00:26:12,787 --> 00:26:14,379 Here we go! 315 00:26:15,067 --> 00:26:17,456 It'll be great. I'm sure of it. 316 00:26:19,827 --> 00:26:20,862 Why? 317 00:26:25,867 --> 00:26:28,745 Shit! I've got to get the battery. 318 00:26:30,307 --> 00:26:32,184 Come with me. Come. 319 00:26:36,827 --> 00:26:39,295 What are you making, Eugenia? Eggs for little Georgie? 320 00:26:54,827 --> 00:26:56,260 It'll just be a moment. 321 00:27:02,587 --> 00:27:05,545 Here you go. You don't mind if I change, do you? 322 00:27:17,107 --> 00:27:18,301 Fuck! 323 00:27:20,027 --> 00:27:21,665 No answer? 324 00:27:28,867 --> 00:27:30,095 What a pity! 325 00:27:47,827 --> 00:27:48,942 Shall we go? 326 00:27:59,147 --> 00:28:01,217 Well if it isn't the great lover! 327 00:28:01,387 --> 00:28:02,900 Good. You've got it running. 328 00:28:03,067 --> 00:28:04,056 Engine stalled? 329 00:28:06,627 --> 00:28:08,822 I told you. You should listen to Vasso. 330 00:28:09,307 --> 00:28:11,263 Didn't even get as far as the boat. 331 00:28:11,467 --> 00:28:13,264 If I don't leave today I'm dead. 332 00:28:13,987 --> 00:28:15,978 You didn't look very dead a while ago. 333 00:28:16,147 --> 00:28:17,296 Where? When? 334 00:28:17,467 --> 00:28:19,344 Who d'you think you're kidding? 335 00:28:19,507 --> 00:28:21,418 I'm talking about the nudist chick. 336 00:28:21,747 --> 00:28:24,545 Became a winter swimmer so she can get guys all year round! 337 00:28:25,027 --> 00:28:28,463 - She can't get enough! - It's good for your health, though! 338 00:28:30,107 --> 00:28:32,302 Why don't you go take a dive? 339 00:28:32,467 --> 00:28:34,583 You've got time till the battery charges. 340 00:28:34,747 --> 00:28:37,181 How much time? I mean, how long will it take? 341 00:28:37,347 --> 00:28:40,100 Listen, man! These things take time, goddammit! 342 00:28:41,147 --> 00:28:43,263 Yeah but I've got to be in Athens tonight. 343 00:28:43,507 --> 00:28:45,225 You will be. But without the car. 344 00:28:45,507 --> 00:28:49,216 Hold on. We've got four hours before the ship arrives. 345 00:28:50,227 --> 00:28:51,740 What the fuck can we do in four hours? 346 00:28:52,987 --> 00:28:54,705 We can sit here and watch it charge! 347 00:28:57,187 --> 00:29:01,544 Look. This would normally take until tomorrow morning. 348 00:29:01,747 --> 00:29:03,260 Hey, hey! What'd you mean 'tomorrow morning'? 349 00:29:03,467 --> 00:29:06,140 Still, four hours can do. But just for you! 350 00:29:08,427 --> 00:29:10,736 Why don't we go home? I live right above. 351 00:29:11,067 --> 00:29:12,500 We can wait there. 352 00:29:13,827 --> 00:29:16,136 OK. I'll go get my stuff and I'll be right back, OK? 353 00:29:16,587 --> 00:29:17,656 Hurry up. 354 00:29:18,307 --> 00:29:20,138 We still have the Beavers' final. 355 00:29:28,627 --> 00:29:31,937 While this fucking battery is charging... 356 00:29:32,187 --> 00:29:35,497 I'm thinking there's a lot of ass in this bitch... 357 00:29:36,427 --> 00:29:38,861 This can't go on any longer. Gotta act. 358 00:29:42,187 --> 00:29:44,462 The things a guy has to do to get some! 359 00:29:45,427 --> 00:29:47,224 It's warm. 360 00:30:31,587 --> 00:30:34,420 A drowned man... Miss! Miss! 361 00:30:34,947 --> 00:30:36,744 We saw a drowned man... 362 00:30:37,027 --> 00:30:39,143 There he is! Over there! 363 00:30:39,987 --> 00:30:42,979 No! No! Stop! Come here! 364 00:30:44,467 --> 00:30:45,866 He's moving! 365 00:30:46,027 --> 00:30:47,938 He's alive! Yes, he is moving. 366 00:30:47,987 --> 00:30:50,706 He's alive. I'll go. All right? 367 00:30:54,107 --> 00:30:56,575 So sorry to bother you. 368 00:30:56,867 --> 00:31:01,418 Stergiou... I'm the new high school teacher here. 369 00:31:01,787 --> 00:31:03,584 My apologies once again... 370 00:31:03,867 --> 00:31:06,017 but I saw you lying there and for a moment I thought... 371 00:31:06,987 --> 00:31:08,579 God forbid! Thank goodness. 372 00:31:08,787 --> 00:31:10,823 - Are you all right? - Yes. Fine. 373 00:31:11,107 --> 00:31:15,146 Of course we're all delighted you are not drowned, but... 374 00:31:15,307 --> 00:31:20,859 it would be so kind of you if you pretended you had! 375 00:31:21,467 --> 00:31:24,265 - I don't get it. - Quite right. It's my fault. 376 00:31:24,467 --> 00:31:26,423 - I didn't explain. - Explain what? 377 00:31:26,627 --> 00:31:30,984 Well, I thought if you pretended to be the victim... 378 00:31:31,627 --> 00:31:34,141 so I could give the girls CPR instruction... 379 00:31:34,347 --> 00:31:37,100 if, of course, you have no objection. 380 00:31:37,747 --> 00:31:40,056 No, I have no objection. 381 00:31:40,267 --> 00:31:42,417 Tell me... what do I have to do? 382 00:31:42,707 --> 00:31:47,827 Nothing! Absolutely nothing! Just lie down the way you were... 383 00:31:48,227 --> 00:31:49,580 before... like this... 384 00:31:49,707 --> 00:31:51,584 and I'll tell the girls what they must do. 385 00:31:52,187 --> 00:31:57,307 So... Agape, Hara, Eftichia... come along... 386 00:31:58,427 --> 00:32:01,942 We'll start with basic CPR... Cardiopulmonary... 387 00:32:02,467 --> 00:32:04,378 or mouth to mouth resuscitation. 388 00:32:06,667 --> 00:32:09,181 Tilt head back with one hand, 389 00:32:09,347 --> 00:32:12,817 Pinch nose, cover mouth with yours... 390 00:32:13,067 --> 00:32:15,865 and give two to three full breaths... 391 00:32:16,027 --> 00:32:20,179 each breath should last 2 seconds... 392 00:32:20,227 --> 00:32:20,977 Like this... 393 00:32:27,107 --> 00:32:29,667 OK? Now you try it. 394 00:32:30,027 --> 00:32:31,779 Elpida! Come along! 395 00:32:33,187 --> 00:32:34,461 Stop laughing. 396 00:32:34,627 --> 00:32:36,140 Let's see if you got it right. 397 00:32:40,187 --> 00:32:45,659 Pinch nose, cover mouth with yours and give one breath... 398 00:32:46,427 --> 00:32:50,261 which should last 2 seconds. 399 00:32:52,747 --> 00:32:54,180 Now Sofia... 400 00:32:55,067 --> 00:32:56,739 Your turn. 401 00:33:01,347 --> 00:33:02,939 Tilt head back... 402 00:33:03,907 --> 00:33:08,059 Pinch nose, close mouth with yours... 403 00:33:10,587 --> 00:33:11,576 Good. 404 00:33:11,947 --> 00:33:13,665 Galini... Come on. 405 00:33:27,067 --> 00:33:28,295 Mr. Vangelis! 406 00:33:28,827 --> 00:33:30,180 Mr. Vangelis! 407 00:33:31,627 --> 00:33:32,423 Kanello! 408 00:33:32,467 --> 00:33:35,186 I brought your aunt some bergamot to try. She loved it! 409 00:33:35,587 --> 00:33:36,986 Good for you! Congratulations! 410 00:33:37,227 --> 00:33:39,821 - What's that delicious smell? - My bergamot, of course! 411 00:33:40,067 --> 00:33:41,978 You know the saying We've got here: 412 00:33:42,307 --> 00:33:44,662 "Lovely smell, lovely neighborhood." 413 00:33:44,787 --> 00:33:47,506 Now, I'll go and get you some so you can try everything. 414 00:33:47,667 --> 00:33:49,180 Not now. Later. 415 00:33:50,987 --> 00:33:53,296 Does your Dad have a monkey wrench in his tool box? 416 00:33:53,427 --> 00:33:54,576 I'll go ask. 417 00:33:54,787 --> 00:33:56,539 You and your bergamot! 418 00:33:56,747 --> 00:33:59,215 Like we said: Lovely smell, lovely neighborhood! 419 00:34:09,467 --> 00:34:10,536 Petros! 420 00:34:11,707 --> 00:34:12,981 Where are you? 421 00:34:16,587 --> 00:34:17,781 Lucky you! 422 00:34:18,307 --> 00:34:20,377 - What's this? - You'll try everything. 423 00:34:21,027 --> 00:34:23,780 So, first the bitter orange. 424 00:34:25,907 --> 00:34:28,467 No, you'll just taste everything and tell me what you think. 425 00:34:28,787 --> 00:34:30,345 Come on. 426 00:34:30,707 --> 00:34:31,776 Good? 427 00:34:33,547 --> 00:34:35,105 And now some eggplant. 428 00:34:36,227 --> 00:34:38,787 You can't have tasted eggplant like this... 429 00:34:44,587 --> 00:34:46,020 Can you taste the clove? 430 00:34:46,467 --> 00:34:49,345 - Wonderful. Fantastic. - Since you last saw me... 431 00:34:49,547 --> 00:34:52,619 I've made great progress. Didn't I tell you? 432 00:34:53,427 --> 00:34:55,019 Now, some bergamot. 433 00:34:57,587 --> 00:34:59,339 Let me check out your tit. Has it grown at all? 434 00:34:59,827 --> 00:35:01,738 - First the preserve. - OK. 435 00:35:07,147 --> 00:35:08,182 I spilled some. 436 00:35:10,907 --> 00:35:13,944 Come on. Stop it! I'll spill it all! Come on. 437 00:35:15,867 --> 00:35:18,381 - Good? - Amazing. 438 00:35:20,507 --> 00:35:23,226 - Wait. - We made a deal. 439 00:35:27,387 --> 00:35:30,140 Normal size I see. Now let's take a look at the other... 440 00:35:30,387 --> 00:35:31,217 Just the one. 441 00:35:31,787 --> 00:35:32,776 OK, just this one. 442 00:35:32,947 --> 00:35:36,257 Now it's cherry time and after that you'll get to taste my fig. 443 00:35:44,747 --> 00:35:45,623 Hold this. 444 00:36:19,307 --> 00:36:20,217 Petros! 445 00:36:20,467 --> 00:36:23,584 Vasso says you should go get the battery 'cause she's leaving. 446 00:36:23,907 --> 00:36:26,272 - Who was that? - Argyro. 447 00:36:26,307 --> 00:36:27,342 She said something about a battery. 448 00:36:27,667 --> 00:36:28,861 There you are! 449 00:36:39,467 --> 00:36:43,619 I'm sorry Vasso. I got held up by my aunt. Are you leaving? 450 00:36:43,987 --> 00:36:46,296 Yes I am. I've got errands to run you know. 451 00:36:47,067 --> 00:36:49,456 Your battery. You can make it in time, can't you? You can. 452 00:36:50,067 --> 00:36:52,103 Give me a ride in your car, sweetie. 453 00:36:52,947 --> 00:36:54,585 - I'll miss the boat if I walk. - So now it's "sweetie", hey? 454 00:36:54,787 --> 00:36:56,937 You were gone all afternoon and now it's "sweetie". 455 00:36:57,147 --> 00:36:58,660 Give me a break, Vasso. 456 00:37:00,067 --> 00:37:02,342 Oh all right, you prick. If it wasn't for Eusebio... Come on. 457 00:37:12,107 --> 00:37:16,146 - Will I make it in time? - Why don't you gimme a hand? 458 00:37:16,667 --> 00:37:17,577 Sure thing. 459 00:37:18,307 --> 00:37:20,059 - It's not the battery. - Then what? 460 00:37:20,307 --> 00:37:23,185 It's your grandpa's fault who died and left the car to rust for 2 years! 461 00:37:23,987 --> 00:37:25,136 See for yourself. 462 00:37:27,827 --> 00:37:30,500 No power going through the ignition.. 463 00:37:31,307 --> 00:37:33,218 Right! In other words I'm screwed, right? 464 00:37:33,427 --> 00:37:36,419 You sure are! But you got Vasso, lucky boy! 465 00:37:37,307 --> 00:37:39,377 Lucky my ass. I'm gonna miss the boat again. 466 00:37:39,827 --> 00:37:43,456 So what, man? These things have to be done the right way. 467 00:37:43,907 --> 00:37:45,465 So here's what we'll do. 468 00:37:45,667 --> 00:37:47,578 We'll tow the car down to the shop... 469 00:37:48,147 --> 00:37:51,059 we'll take the engine a part ...no hurry ...and we'll 470 00:37:51,227 --> 00:37:54,378 drink some ouzo. Why bother with sea-sickness? 471 00:37:54,667 --> 00:37:56,498 What are you talking about? The boat's about to leave. 472 00:37:56,667 --> 00:38:00,342 Well that's what boats do. They leave! 473 00:38:02,907 --> 00:38:05,296 That's what I want to do too! I've wasted two days of my leave... 474 00:38:05,467 --> 00:38:08,106 - ...on this fucking car! - I wouldn't call this 'wasted'! 475 00:38:08,267 --> 00:38:12,704 That German babe took you on her motorbike and you had just met! 476 00:38:13,827 --> 00:38:17,422 But, it's all good. I like a ladies man. Just don't do white-trash! 477 00:38:17,787 --> 00:38:20,745 Like that nudist chick! A guy's gotta know... 478 00:38:20,907 --> 00:38:24,343 how to appreciate a woman... take Eusebio for instance... 479 00:38:24,587 --> 00:38:26,225 - He picked a wo... - There! It's leaving! 480 00:38:26,347 --> 00:38:29,020 - So let it leave! Fuck it! - What fuck it, man? 481 00:38:29,227 --> 00:38:31,263 Fucking forget it, man! 482 00:38:31,987 --> 00:38:35,616 Listen... I say you spend your leave here, relax... 483 00:38:35,907 --> 00:38:37,704 we can get to know each other better... 484 00:38:38,027 --> 00:38:40,302 Tomorrow is a full moon. Come on, man. 485 00:38:40,427 --> 00:38:41,860 We'll have a sweet time... 486 00:38:42,547 --> 00:38:44,299 Nah... I think I'll leave without the car. 487 00:38:44,627 --> 00:38:46,379 If you give me a ride I can make it. 488 00:39:06,947 --> 00:39:08,266 No, goddammit! 489 00:39:16,347 --> 00:39:19,703 - You missed it? Great! - It's that fucking car! 490 00:39:20,867 --> 00:39:22,983 What was I thinking? Wasted my whole leave on it! 491 00:39:23,147 --> 00:39:25,786 Never mind. Stay another night with us. 492 00:39:27,107 --> 00:39:30,702 OK so I missed the boat but things aren't that bad. 493 00:39:31,427 --> 00:39:34,339 I fucked the biker, I scored (boy did I score!) with Olga.. 494 00:39:34,747 --> 00:39:36,977 now if only that Asian chick would gimme some... 495 00:40:53,147 --> 00:40:57,698 - I missed you, dick! - Roula! How... 496 00:40:57,987 --> 00:41:00,626 How long has it been since I saw you last, you asshole? 497 00:41:00,827 --> 00:41:03,022 You don't give a fuck about your sister, right? 498 00:41:05,267 --> 00:41:07,303 I wasn't expecting you... 499 00:41:07,547 --> 00:41:09,742 Check you out! I can't believe it! 500 00:41:10,147 --> 00:41:13,856 When I saw you last you were just a Half-pint! Look at you now! 501 00:41:14,907 --> 00:41:17,979 How're you doing? OK? Talk to me, man. 502 00:41:18,107 --> 00:41:19,699 What can I say... 503 00:41:20,107 --> 00:41:22,860 He won't talk to his sister. Tell me. How's the navy? 504 00:41:23,107 --> 00:41:27,100 - At first it was a bit tough... - But now everything's OK? 505 00:41:29,387 --> 00:41:32,345 Listen. Don't get up and leave before I get to talk to you, OK? 506 00:41:43,707 --> 00:41:45,345 - Should we raise it to 50? - Not enough. 507 00:41:45,507 --> 00:41:47,065 100? 150? 508 00:41:48,347 --> 00:41:49,621 500 and all systems go! 509 00:41:53,627 --> 00:41:57,859 We hit the jackpot, my bitches! Fucking douche bags! 510 00:41:59,267 --> 00:42:00,825 - Saint Barbara! - God bless! 511 00:42:00,987 --> 00:42:03,296 - Aunt? - You missed the boat again? 512 00:42:03,827 --> 00:42:06,421 - Yes, I'm leaving tomorrow. - So leave tomorrow. 513 00:42:07,107 --> 00:42:09,905 Look, I got something to tell you, but don't get mad. 514 00:42:10,107 --> 00:42:13,258 Tell me what, boy? You fucked half the island in two days! 515 00:42:13,547 --> 00:42:16,266 - Me? I didn't... - You didn't... 516 00:42:16,547 --> 00:42:18,742 The way you're headed, you'll end up fucking Argyro! 517 00:42:18,987 --> 00:42:21,785 - I got something else to say. - So say it. 518 00:42:22,707 --> 00:42:25,904 I've got 7 days leave left and I don't want to waste anymore. 519 00:42:26,107 --> 00:42:28,337 That's why I'm thinking of not taking the car. 520 00:42:28,547 --> 00:42:31,266 Thanks anyway. Don't get mad at me. But it can't be fixed.. 521 00:42:31,387 --> 00:42:33,662 - and Vasso wants... - a piece of you. 522 00:42:33,787 --> 00:42:36,984 - No, she's just got the hots for.. - For you. 523 00:42:37,507 --> 00:42:39,020 No, for Eusebio. 524 00:42:39,547 --> 00:42:41,219 Eusebio? Who's he? 525 00:42:42,667 --> 00:42:44,658 A Mexican guy, Brazilian, something like that. 526 00:42:45,667 --> 00:42:49,057 OK, OK. Go eat and brace yourself, you poor thing... 527 00:42:49,187 --> 00:42:51,143 because I don't know any Eusebio on the island. 528 00:42:51,307 --> 00:42:54,617 She'll have you for breakfast. She won't take no for an answer. 529 00:42:55,147 --> 00:42:57,183 But you're a grown man, you can handle her... 530 00:42:57,387 --> 00:43:00,982 Your Grandpa had them all. 531 00:43:01,907 --> 00:43:04,626 - What are you talking about? - Messalina. 532 00:43:04,907 --> 00:43:07,626 Me? Messalina? Thanks, darling. 533 00:43:10,707 --> 00:43:12,538 Who's this Eusebio guy? 534 00:43:32,227 --> 00:43:33,057 Come on in, man. 535 00:43:36,987 --> 00:43:39,023 Didn't expect you'd come. 536 00:43:39,947 --> 00:43:41,778 I mean I wasn't expecting you at all. 537 00:43:41,947 --> 00:43:43,585 Why, d'you think I was? 538 00:43:43,747 --> 00:43:44,782 Surprise! 539 00:43:45,107 --> 00:43:47,416 You bet it was. So how long are you staying for? 540 00:43:48,747 --> 00:43:50,021 Don't know. 541 00:43:50,307 --> 00:43:52,343 Don't you wanna eat with the girls? 542 00:43:52,867 --> 00:43:55,620 They're crazy about you, you know. 543 00:43:55,747 --> 00:43:56,702 Want a drag? 544 00:43:57,067 --> 00:43:58,466 No, it's not my... 545 00:43:59,187 --> 00:44:00,415 Some of this? 546 00:44:00,507 --> 00:44:01,701 No, I'm not hungry. 547 00:44:01,867 --> 00:44:03,585 I'm going to bed. Got to get up early. 548 00:44:05,027 --> 00:44:07,302 D'you want me to send you a tray upstairs? 549 00:44:08,747 --> 00:44:12,342 Or would you rather have Monica bring it up? 550 00:44:13,067 --> 00:44:15,900 Petros, a friend of yours is on the phone. Mr. Zachos. 551 00:44:16,027 --> 00:44:17,983 Zachos? 552 00:44:20,947 --> 00:44:22,221 Hello, Zachos. 553 00:44:22,347 --> 00:44:23,382 - Is that you? - Why? 554 00:44:23,547 --> 00:44:24,821 Were you expecting another call? 555 00:44:24,947 --> 00:44:26,983 I've already wasted two days leave because of you, you moron. 556 00:44:27,067 --> 00:44:28,864 Haven't heard a word from you in three days. 557 00:44:29,067 --> 00:44:30,625 It's not my fault. I tried calling you and... 558 00:44:30,747 --> 00:44:32,339 Listen up cause I ain't kidding. 559 00:44:32,547 --> 00:44:34,378 If you're not here by tomorrow... 560 00:44:34,507 --> 00:44:37,180 Have you gone deaf from too much jerking off, you shithead!? 561 00:44:37,427 --> 00:44:39,577 Hey man, take it easy... 562 00:44:39,747 --> 00:44:41,817 - So listen up cause... - I kept calling you... 563 00:44:41,987 --> 00:44:43,978 But my cell was dead and my aunt was on the Internet... 564 00:44:44,147 --> 00:44:46,945 Fuck your aunt! So listen up 'cause I'm serious. 565 00:44:47,507 --> 00:44:50,180 If your ass is not here by tomorrow.. fuck the Beetle and fuck everything... 566 00:44:50,347 --> 00:44:52,986 I get the girls and we're off to Arachova, the three of us. 567 00:44:53,147 --> 00:44:55,103 And you can stay on the island and jerk off. 568 00:44:55,427 --> 00:44:56,906 Get my drift, you retard? 569 00:44:57,067 --> 00:44:58,978 Tomorrow afternoon you got to be here. I ain't calling you again. 570 00:44:59,067 --> 00:45:00,785 It's not... It's not my fault. 571 00:45:00,827 --> 00:45:02,226 It's the Beetle's. 572 00:45:06,067 --> 00:45:08,979 Who would ever believe my story? 573 00:45:09,747 --> 00:45:12,819 That jerk on the boat was right about women chasing after us. 574 00:45:13,107 --> 00:45:15,462 It's nuts what's going on here. 575 00:45:15,627 --> 00:45:17,982 So I'm gonna keep a record of what's happening. 576 00:45:18,707 --> 00:45:20,698 Or else people'd think I've lost it! 577 00:45:20,907 --> 00:45:23,705 Day three on the island and something's happened... 578 00:45:23,867 --> 00:45:25,744 and all the women are after me. 579 00:45:25,787 --> 00:45:28,938 First it was one by one, and then in twos and threes. 580 00:45:29,427 --> 00:45:33,215 If they all ganged up on me, alone as I am here... 581 00:45:34,587 --> 00:45:35,815 I'd be dead meat. 582 00:45:36,347 --> 00:45:38,383 I haven't seen a single guy. 583 00:45:38,867 --> 00:45:41,381 Can't be! These women, they must have hidden them somewhere! 584 00:45:44,467 --> 00:45:48,096 It's years since you last saw him. He's a grown man now. 585 00:45:49,107 --> 00:45:50,176 Testosterone. 586 00:45:50,867 --> 00:45:53,256 - What about it? - Testosterone. 587 00:45:54,947 --> 00:45:58,223 Turns boys into men. Only thing I know that turns... 588 00:45:58,427 --> 00:45:59,940 boys into men is pussy. 589 00:46:00,267 --> 00:46:01,780 I brought him two. 590 00:46:01,987 --> 00:46:03,818 I know. You decided not to visit your brother... 591 00:46:03,987 --> 00:46:05,625 empty-handed. 592 00:46:06,787 --> 00:46:09,017 I can't keep up with all these mouths to feed. 593 00:46:09,187 --> 00:46:11,143 There is no rooster left in the coop. 594 00:46:11,347 --> 00:46:13,144 Shut up, you cow. 595 00:46:13,187 --> 00:46:16,020 See? She's counting mouths and you're counting... 596 00:46:19,187 --> 00:46:22,224 The weather report says no boats leaving today? 597 00:46:22,387 --> 00:46:24,981 No matter what, you're taking the tickets down to Vasso... 598 00:46:25,307 --> 00:46:27,298 - ...to run them on her computer. - So much for leaving. 599 00:46:27,467 --> 00:46:29,662 Come on now! Are you having such a bad time? 600 00:46:29,827 --> 00:46:31,783 We all treat you like a king. 601 00:46:32,627 --> 00:46:35,778 The king of the coop. 602 00:46:37,387 --> 00:46:40,504 So tell us, king, will Chelsea win this time or... 603 00:46:40,667 --> 00:46:43,943 Ask them. Don't they know anything about soccer? 604 00:46:50,027 --> 00:46:52,495 Take it easy! You'll choke. 605 00:46:53,227 --> 00:46:56,742 Well, whatever I'm betting on a tie score. 606 00:46:57,627 --> 00:46:59,618 Good-for nothings! 607 00:47:44,907 --> 00:47:46,101 Petros! 608 00:47:48,387 --> 00:47:50,423 I forgot to thank you for... 609 00:47:51,267 --> 00:47:52,416 Lambro! 610 00:47:53,427 --> 00:47:54,746 Lambro! 611 00:47:58,107 --> 00:48:03,022 Mom! How many times have I told you to call me by my full name? 612 00:48:03,347 --> 00:48:09,217 I was christened Lambrini. Lambros is a man's name. 613 00:48:09,387 --> 00:48:11,855 Are you deaf? I didn't say Lambros. I said "Lambro"... 614 00:48:12,067 --> 00:48:13,944 like your cousins Foto and Vango... Are they men? 615 00:48:14,107 --> 00:48:16,416 I'm not so sure about Foto. Have you seen her mustache? 616 00:48:16,587 --> 00:48:18,817 Whatever. I think you're feeling edgy. 617 00:48:19,187 --> 00:48:20,506 Come on. Give me a hand. 618 00:48:20,747 --> 00:48:23,659 Why don't we ask this young man to take us to church... 619 00:48:24,107 --> 00:48:28,658 - ...since we have trouble walking. - Like he cares about us old farts! 620 00:48:29,067 --> 00:48:31,979 Now if we were young, we'd have plenty of men... 621 00:48:32,147 --> 00:48:35,298 Why d'you say that? The young man looks polite... 622 00:48:36,107 --> 00:48:41,500 and strong. He could carry you to church, right? 623 00:48:42,067 --> 00:48:45,423 You know... I'm in a hurry and I have to get going. Sorry. 624 00:48:47,147 --> 00:48:49,900 See what you did? Scared this one off too! 625 00:48:50,067 --> 00:48:54,902 Bull! That old trick doesn't work! Next time pretend you're blind. 626 00:49:12,227 --> 00:49:14,980 - So what are you, a boy or a girl? - A boy. 627 00:49:15,547 --> 00:49:18,266 - So why are you wearing a dress? - I don't want to... 628 00:49:18,467 --> 00:49:22,221 but Mom makes me wear one 'cuz she doesn't like that I'm a boy.. 629 00:49:22,387 --> 00:49:23,661 and she wants me to look like a girl. 630 00:49:23,867 --> 00:49:26,142 You tell your mom that's not right because when you grow up, 631 00:49:26,307 --> 00:49:29,663 you'll... feel confused. Being a boy isn't that bad! 632 00:49:29,827 --> 00:49:30,976 It sure isn't. 633 00:49:32,147 --> 00:49:33,705 Where are you, Lucia? 634 00:49:34,547 --> 00:49:35,582 So this is where you're hiding? 635 00:49:35,707 --> 00:49:37,379 My name's not Lucia. I'm a boy! 636 00:49:38,067 --> 00:49:40,422 Lucia! Not again! What did I tell you? 637 00:49:40,547 --> 00:49:42,344 Yeah, and the gentleman here said that what you're doing... 638 00:49:42,507 --> 00:49:44,384 isn't right and being a boy isn't that bad! 639 00:49:46,467 --> 00:49:48,856 See what I have to deal with? 640 00:49:49,787 --> 00:49:51,664 You can't imagine how difficult this girl is! 641 00:49:52,587 --> 00:49:54,464 Telling everyone the same story! 642 00:49:54,507 --> 00:49:57,897 That she's a boy and I dress her up in girls' clothes. 643 00:49:58,747 --> 00:49:59,975 She's just a kid! 644 00:50:00,147 --> 00:50:01,660 I don't know what to do with her! 645 00:50:04,267 --> 00:50:06,383 Ever since her father left us she's become unbearable! 646 00:50:11,467 --> 00:50:12,661 You understand... 647 00:50:13,947 --> 00:50:16,222 at this sensitive age, my Lucia... 648 00:50:16,427 --> 00:50:19,260 like any girl her age... needs a father figure. 649 00:50:24,987 --> 00:50:27,137 My Lucia needs a father, a man who's young... 650 00:50:27,747 --> 00:50:29,897 good-looking, easy to fall in love with... 651 00:50:30,267 --> 00:50:32,417 A man who'll kindle in her the primordial lust... 652 00:50:32,587 --> 00:50:35,420 that all women have for men. From childhood... 653 00:50:35,667 --> 00:50:38,420 to my age! 654 00:50:45,507 --> 00:50:47,259 A man like you... 655 00:50:47,827 --> 00:50:49,545 that's what my Lucia needs! 656 00:50:51,427 --> 00:50:54,385 What's the point in hiding it? I've got the same needs too. 657 00:50:54,787 --> 00:50:56,379 I need a man like you too! 658 00:51:02,867 --> 00:51:04,095 So I beg you! 659 00:51:05,107 --> 00:51:08,543 Be a father for my Lucia! Be the man who's missing from her life... 660 00:51:08,947 --> 00:51:10,016 from my life! 661 00:51:10,787 --> 00:51:14,302 Lucia needs you. She needs a father to fall in love with... 662 00:51:15,027 --> 00:51:16,142 and I need you too. 663 00:51:17,107 --> 00:51:18,506 Are you crazy, woman? 664 00:51:18,867 --> 00:51:21,142 Come back here! Where are you going? 665 00:51:22,107 --> 00:51:23,904 You can't abandon your daughter like this! 666 00:51:24,307 --> 00:51:26,218 A father has responsibilities! D'you hear me? 667 00:51:26,667 --> 00:51:28,703 We're your destiny! 668 00:51:31,467 --> 00:51:33,697 Fuck! Aren't there any men around? Where've they all gone? 669 00:51:34,387 --> 00:51:37,618 What the hell? They certainly don't fuck! Do they at least exist? 670 00:51:49,707 --> 00:51:50,856 The kid. 671 00:51:54,547 --> 00:51:55,900 Kid! 672 00:52:33,387 --> 00:52:34,536 Petros! 673 00:52:36,187 --> 00:52:37,381 I'm busy Petros. 674 00:52:38,147 --> 00:52:39,785 I wasn't looking for you. 675 00:52:40,027 --> 00:52:41,142 So why are you here? 676 00:52:41,267 --> 00:52:42,780 I'm looking for Father Anastasis. 677 00:52:42,907 --> 00:52:43,942 What for? 678 00:52:44,147 --> 00:52:46,058 To find him. I haven't seen a single man on this island. 679 00:52:47,227 --> 00:52:48,216 Really? 680 00:52:48,827 --> 00:52:50,943 I found one. Will he do? 681 00:52:51,147 --> 00:52:52,262 Fuck off. 682 00:52:53,187 --> 00:52:56,702 Listen, Petros. If you find a living one, bring him over! 683 00:52:59,987 --> 00:53:01,056 Father Anastasis! 684 00:53:05,187 --> 00:53:06,256 Father Anastasis! 685 00:53:12,147 --> 00:53:13,023 What d'you want? 686 00:53:14,187 --> 00:53:15,620 Is Father Anastasis here? 687 00:53:15,907 --> 00:53:16,657 No. 688 00:53:16,987 --> 00:53:18,340 The nuns took him. 689 00:53:18,547 --> 00:53:19,582 The nuns? 690 00:53:19,827 --> 00:53:20,623 Where did they take him? 691 00:53:20,667 --> 00:53:22,259 For confession. 692 00:53:30,987 --> 00:53:31,783 Petra! 693 00:53:34,067 --> 00:53:35,386 You go beach? 694 00:53:35,507 --> 00:53:36,906 What beach? I'm going to the port. 695 00:53:37,307 --> 00:53:38,342 Take it easy. 696 00:53:38,507 --> 00:53:40,020 Come on, let's move it. I'm in a hurry to catch a boat. 697 00:53:40,307 --> 00:53:45,825 a speedboat... a sailboat... anything! Come on, let's hurry. 698 00:53:48,347 --> 00:53:49,302 Hurry? 699 00:53:52,427 --> 00:53:54,338 Hold on tight! 700 00:54:03,427 --> 00:54:05,179 I want you to hold on to my boobs. 701 00:54:05,347 --> 00:54:07,702 Give me a break Petra. What's gotten into all of you today? 702 00:54:07,947 --> 00:54:08,823 Are you all in heat?... 703 00:54:09,027 --> 00:54:10,619 I want you to grab my tits! 704 00:54:10,827 --> 00:54:12,545 Look ahead! What are you doing? Are you crazy? 705 00:54:12,747 --> 00:54:13,463 You'll get us killed! 706 00:54:13,707 --> 00:54:15,698 I want you grab Petra's boobs. They're... 707 00:54:15,947 --> 00:54:18,905 They're brakes! Are you holding on to them? 708 00:54:28,907 --> 00:54:30,260 Slow down! 709 00:54:31,507 --> 00:54:34,101 I want you to grab them from inside. 710 00:54:34,347 --> 00:54:36,702 - From inside! - I'm grabbing! I'm grabbing! 711 00:54:36,867 --> 00:54:38,186 Easy! Easy! 712 00:55:15,707 --> 00:55:17,663 We caught ourselves a halibut, girls. 713 00:55:18,867 --> 00:55:21,256 Lift your leg like a good boy... 714 00:55:22,507 --> 00:55:24,816 How did you end up here? 715 00:55:27,027 --> 00:55:28,585 Easy boy! You'll hurt yourself. 716 00:55:28,627 --> 00:55:30,185 Check you out! 717 00:55:31,707 --> 00:55:32,935 What on earth happened to you? 718 00:55:33,107 --> 00:55:34,176 I was trying to catch the boat. 719 00:55:34,347 --> 00:55:36,383 What boat? There's a gale warning. 720 00:55:37,267 --> 00:55:38,780 We fish 'em. Others eat 'em! 721 00:55:42,227 --> 00:55:44,024 Let me have that! You get inside. 722 00:55:44,187 --> 00:55:45,779 You'll catch a cold. Get in. 723 00:55:45,907 --> 00:55:47,226 I'll get you something dry to wear. 724 00:55:47,347 --> 00:55:48,382 Don't bother, I'm okay. 725 00:55:48,587 --> 00:55:50,145 What are you talking about? You're soaking wet. 726 00:55:50,507 --> 00:55:51,986 You'll catch pneumonia. Take off your clothes. 727 00:55:52,147 --> 00:55:53,341 Never mind Mrs. Angela! 728 00:56:04,947 --> 00:56:07,256 Fuck that crazy bitch! 729 00:56:09,747 --> 00:56:12,215 This is the suit my late husband wore on our wedding. 730 00:56:13,467 --> 00:56:16,300 - It will fit you just fine. - It's not right. 731 00:56:16,987 --> 00:56:18,579 What are you talking about? The living with the living... 732 00:56:18,747 --> 00:56:20,897 and the dead with the dead. Come. Put it on... 733 00:56:21,027 --> 00:56:22,062 so you don't catch a cold. 734 00:56:33,867 --> 00:56:35,698 What's wrong, Mrs. Angela? Are you all right? 735 00:56:40,067 --> 00:56:41,864 It looks perfect on you! 736 00:56:45,107 --> 00:56:46,699 Your shoulders... your neck... 737 00:56:49,507 --> 00:56:50,462 Look! 738 00:56:52,187 --> 00:56:53,540 My dowry. 739 00:56:55,147 --> 00:56:57,661 All the things poor Phaedon left me. 740 00:56:58,747 --> 00:57:00,180 Everything, untouched... 741 00:57:01,707 --> 00:57:05,302 Like me... untouched for two years now. 742 00:57:06,387 --> 00:57:07,866 Pure... white... 743 00:57:09,187 --> 00:57:10,859 like the bread I bake. 744 00:57:13,387 --> 00:57:17,539 No other hand has touched this body, Phaedon. 745 00:57:21,067 --> 00:57:22,659 Oh Phaedon... 746 00:57:24,747 --> 00:57:26,544 To desire and to have not... 747 00:57:29,947 --> 00:57:34,384 It's been two years since we made olive bread in our bakery. 748 00:57:35,547 --> 00:57:38,459 My specialty. 749 00:57:40,027 --> 00:57:45,101 But how could I make it? How could I knead it alone? 750 00:57:46,107 --> 00:57:50,100 You used to bend and lift my skirt, kiss my leg and say: 751 00:57:50,267 --> 00:57:53,703 It's like a loaf with an olive in the middle. It's not a leg. 752 00:57:54,027 --> 00:57:55,346 It's olive bread. 753 00:57:56,307 --> 00:57:57,979 Olive bread, Phaedon. 754 00:57:59,547 --> 00:58:00,582 Here it is! 755 00:58:01,147 --> 00:58:03,217 Here's the olive bread! Kiss it! 756 00:58:36,947 --> 00:58:38,983 Good evening, young man. 757 00:58:41,667 --> 00:58:44,261 Will you be staying long on our island? 758 00:58:45,227 --> 00:58:46,262 Mrs. Fotoula! 759 00:58:47,107 --> 00:58:49,337 Would you come out a minute, please? 760 00:58:58,587 --> 00:59:00,737 I have to be careful with these chicks. 761 00:59:00,947 --> 00:59:03,745 They're all on fire! One with her late husband's olive bread, 762 00:59:03,947 --> 00:59:06,142 the other with that jerk Eusebio... 763 00:59:06,467 --> 00:59:08,105 the nutcase that has boobs for brakes... 764 00:59:08,867 --> 00:59:10,380 and here comes the Jurassic Cunt... 765 00:59:10,427 --> 00:59:12,019 - Still here? - Is that you, aunt? 766 00:59:12,707 --> 00:59:14,504 Why did you run away, you brat? 767 00:59:14,707 --> 00:59:16,459 - Who's that old fart inside? - Old?! 768 00:59:17,187 --> 00:59:18,825 Fabiola is a young lady. 769 00:59:19,427 --> 00:59:20,780 So what's she doing here at this hour? 770 00:59:20,987 --> 00:59:22,625 Now you listen to me! This is my house... 771 00:59:22,747 --> 00:59:24,658 and my friends can come and go as they please. 772 00:59:24,947 --> 00:59:29,179 Besides, I owe Fabiola. 773 00:59:31,187 --> 00:59:32,176 What? 774 00:59:32,387 --> 00:59:35,538 We had a bet, recently, and she won. 775 00:59:36,107 --> 00:59:37,506 What was the bet about? 776 00:59:37,667 --> 00:59:43,856 She said you'd like the island in spring and you'd stay more than... 777 00:59:44,067 --> 00:59:49,016 2 days and I said if that was the case I'd let you fuck her. 778 00:59:49,387 --> 00:59:51,582 - Me? Fuck her! - Shhh! Don't shout! 779 00:59:51,867 --> 00:59:54,062 It was just words. We didn't sign any contract. 780 00:59:54,667 --> 00:59:58,342 But since good friends should keep their words... 781 00:59:59,307 --> 01:00:01,867 and since you're staying here for the night, 782 01:00:02,347 --> 01:00:07,182 we'd better make sure you're clean and tidy... 783 01:00:07,507 --> 01:00:10,021 You must be out of your fucking minds, all of you! 784 01:00:10,187 --> 01:00:12,018 I should fuck that old cow because you lost a bet! 785 01:00:12,187 --> 01:00:14,906 Don't be a fool, boy! Fuck her! What'd ya have to lose? 786 01:00:15,187 --> 01:00:16,461 You gambled your nephew! 787 01:00:16,507 --> 01:00:18,702 So? Your Grandpa used to fuck them all! 788 01:00:18,747 --> 01:00:21,545 How come you turned out to be so picky? 789 01:00:37,587 --> 01:00:38,815 Down! Down! 790 01:00:40,507 --> 01:00:42,338 Don't you think you should knock first? 791 01:00:42,507 --> 01:00:44,657 What? Why don't you lock them up? 792 01:00:44,907 --> 01:00:46,784 - Lock who up? - Your friends. 793 01:00:49,147 --> 01:00:50,262 My friends... 794 01:00:50,507 --> 01:00:52,384 They're your friends... 795 01:00:54,987 --> 01:00:56,340 Now turn the other way. 796 01:00:56,387 --> 01:00:58,298 - Why? - Because I want to change. 797 01:00:59,947 --> 01:01:02,017 You'll change afterwards. Come on. Get going. I want to go to bed. 798 01:01:02,187 --> 01:01:03,859 You don't know what I've been through all day. 799 01:01:03,987 --> 01:01:05,102 So, I'll change, 800 01:01:05,227 --> 01:01:06,262 I'll put on my PJs... 801 01:01:06,427 --> 01:01:07,940 and we'll sleep here together. 802 01:01:09,067 --> 01:01:12,139 Go on. Turn around. I don't want to sleep here. 803 01:01:12,307 --> 01:01:13,456 I want to sleep in my bed. 804 01:01:13,787 --> 01:01:18,986 Really? There was a time you were afraid to sleep alone. 805 01:01:19,267 --> 01:01:21,098 - Remember? - What are you talking about? 806 01:01:21,267 --> 01:01:23,576 Now tell them to go. I'm not in the mood. Get it? 807 01:01:23,867 --> 01:01:25,823 Remember when you were a kid... 808 01:01:25,987 --> 01:01:28,342 you'd pretend to sleepwalk and and you'd come and get in my bed?... 809 01:01:31,467 --> 01:01:33,105 You don't know what you're talking about! 810 01:01:33,307 --> 01:01:34,899 You're imagining things. I don't remember shit! 811 01:01:35,547 --> 01:01:37,219 Well let me remind you then! 812 01:01:37,987 --> 01:01:41,662 I remember every little detail as if it were yesterday... 813 01:01:42,867 --> 01:01:44,220 Do you want me to? 814 01:01:46,267 --> 01:01:49,418 I remember everything. Do you want me to? 815 01:01:49,627 --> 01:01:51,458 Are you out of your fucking mind? What's this shit? 816 01:01:51,587 --> 01:01:53,305 I've had it with you bitches! 817 01:02:11,267 --> 01:02:12,620 Now where are you taking me? 818 01:02:54,747 --> 01:02:57,215 How did I end up outside... 819 01:02:57,507 --> 01:03:01,295 in the middle of the night? This is weird! 820 01:03:02,507 --> 01:03:04,463 Now where do I sleep? 821 01:03:05,187 --> 01:03:07,542 I thought of knocking on Mr. Vangelis' door but... 822 01:03:08,027 --> 01:03:10,905 what am I supposed to tell him? That my sister made a pass at me... 823 01:03:11,067 --> 01:03:12,978 and my aunt sold me to an old witch? 824 01:03:13,427 --> 01:03:15,383 Or that I fucked his daughter over bergamot? 825 01:03:16,307 --> 01:03:17,217 Nah! 826 01:03:17,787 --> 01:03:18,617 Petros! 827 01:03:19,147 --> 01:03:20,136 Is that you? 828 01:03:21,347 --> 01:03:22,416 Come inside. 829 01:03:22,587 --> 01:03:23,417 You'll freeze. 830 01:03:23,747 --> 01:03:25,260 Come this way. 831 01:03:27,307 --> 01:03:28,137 Come. 832 01:03:37,107 --> 01:03:37,983 Your folks? 833 01:03:38,587 --> 01:03:41,055 Dad's at the pen and Mom's down in the kitchen. 834 01:03:41,587 --> 01:03:43,066 In the kitchen? What's she doing? 835 01:03:43,267 --> 01:03:45,144 She drinks and dozes off. 836 01:03:45,387 --> 01:03:47,298 Come on. There's no way she'll hear us. 837 01:03:47,667 --> 01:03:48,383 Come. 838 01:03:49,107 --> 01:03:50,745 Olga, don't take this the wrong way... 839 01:03:50,947 --> 01:03:52,665 but I've been feeling a little tired lately... 840 01:03:52,867 --> 01:03:54,664 and today especially... I think I'm falling apart. 841 01:03:55,627 --> 01:03:59,176 I think I should go straight to bed and skip the preserves, OK? 842 01:04:00,067 --> 01:04:03,616 OK! But you should know, sweets make you sleepy. 843 01:04:03,947 --> 01:04:04,857 Come on. 844 01:04:07,787 --> 01:04:10,017 Oh you're so sweet... 845 01:04:14,987 --> 01:04:17,182 You make me feel all sweet and sticky... 846 01:04:18,227 --> 01:04:20,661 I feel so sweet and sticky... 847 01:04:25,987 --> 01:04:27,340 - Your Mom. - What? 848 01:04:28,547 --> 01:04:29,821 She's watching us. 849 01:04:30,147 --> 01:04:32,980 Then do your best work! 850 01:04:50,107 --> 01:04:54,578 My sweet syrup. How sticky you make me feel! 851 01:04:59,947 --> 01:05:01,903 You make me feel sticky. 852 01:05:14,907 --> 01:05:15,976 Attention! 853 01:05:18,227 --> 01:05:19,626 At ease! 854 01:05:20,027 --> 01:05:20,857 Attention! 855 01:05:25,747 --> 01:05:27,578 I pledge allegiance to the motherland... 856 01:05:29,547 --> 01:05:32,425 obedience to the Constitution.. 857 01:05:33,027 --> 01:05:36,383 to the laws and resolutions of the State... 858 01:05:38,587 --> 01:05:41,055 obedience to my superiors... 859 01:05:42,707 --> 01:05:45,699 Attention! 860 01:05:46,747 --> 01:05:48,260 I must be out of my mind. 861 01:05:48,467 --> 01:05:50,344 When I'm awake I see pussy... and when I'm asleep... 862 01:05:50,467 --> 01:05:51,946 I dream of guys. 863 01:05:52,107 --> 01:05:53,335 Just imagine! 864 01:05:53,547 --> 01:05:55,265 But I do miss the fuckers... 865 01:05:59,307 --> 01:06:01,696 Anyway, from now on, no more fucking or threesomes. 866 01:06:02,307 --> 01:06:04,298 I've got to get off this fucking island. 867 01:06:04,507 --> 01:06:05,940 I'm in danger here! 868 01:06:08,187 --> 01:06:10,462 I'll head down the port and find a sailboat, a canoe, something... 869 01:06:10,587 --> 01:06:13,863 got to get across to Naxos, Koufonissia... somewhere... 870 01:06:13,907 --> 01:06:14,896 ...anywhere... 871 01:06:22,987 --> 01:06:25,023 What's the hurry, Petros? 872 01:06:25,947 --> 01:06:28,586 Stay a while and let's get to know each other better. 873 01:06:28,787 --> 01:06:31,984 You may change your mind. 874 01:06:32,267 --> 01:06:34,861 Hey you! Why d'you embarrass me?... 875 01:06:34,987 --> 01:06:37,820 In front of my friends? Fabiola is experienced. 876 01:06:37,947 --> 01:06:39,539 She'll teach you. 877 01:06:43,147 --> 01:06:45,217 Get back here this minute! 878 01:06:45,547 --> 01:06:46,866 I said get back here! 879 01:06:47,427 --> 01:06:50,021 If you don't, you'll never set foot in my house again. 880 01:06:51,587 --> 01:06:52,906 Young people nowadays! 881 01:06:56,227 --> 01:06:58,457 Things don't look good. 882 01:06:59,427 --> 01:07:02,066 Something's gotten into these women... Even Auntie! 883 01:07:03,747 --> 01:07:06,784 Could it be that all the men went cra- zy and decided to leave the island? 884 01:07:09,747 --> 01:07:11,305 It's either that or the opposite... 885 01:07:11,787 --> 01:07:14,904 first the women went mad, then the guys took off and... 886 01:07:15,067 --> 01:07:17,217 left me all alone... 887 01:07:19,107 --> 01:07:20,745 Or maybe I'm the one who's lost it. 888 01:07:24,187 --> 01:07:25,461 Petros! 889 01:07:26,187 --> 01:07:28,303 Maria, are you crazy? What are you saying? 890 01:07:28,467 --> 01:07:30,935 How did you get here? Who let you in? 891 01:07:31,147 --> 01:07:31,943 Gabriel! 892 01:07:32,707 --> 01:07:34,538 Eusebio, don't leave me! 893 01:07:34,747 --> 01:07:35,736 Go away! 894 01:07:36,027 --> 01:07:38,097 Think of the nights you spent in my arms... 895 01:07:38,307 --> 01:07:40,696 You said I was the woman of your dreams and now... 896 01:07:40,867 --> 01:07:42,664 now you're marrying Donna Emmanuella. 897 01:07:43,027 --> 01:07:44,506 Eusebio, darling, where are you? 898 01:07:44,947 --> 01:07:47,586 - Who was that woman? - Just a woman from the village. 899 01:07:47,747 --> 01:07:49,260 She came to ask a favor for her husband. 900 01:07:49,467 --> 01:07:51,776 When will our marriage take place, Eusebio? 901 01:07:51,947 --> 01:07:53,699 I want you to be mine and mine alone! 902 01:07:56,747 --> 01:07:59,307 The hell with you asshole! 903 01:08:01,227 --> 01:08:02,785 You are after her dowry, right? 904 01:08:02,947 --> 01:08:04,380 Isn't that right, you fuck? 905 01:08:04,547 --> 01:08:07,345 Would you look at that fucker! 906 01:08:07,587 --> 01:08:08,815 Take it easy, Vasso. 907 01:08:09,267 --> 01:08:11,383 Don't you have any balls, you asshole? Tell me! 908 01:08:11,747 --> 01:08:12,941 What d'you want me to say? 909 01:08:13,107 --> 01:08:14,142 What? 910 01:08:14,867 --> 01:08:17,427 You leave me, a woman with feelings for that... that... 911 01:08:17,627 --> 01:08:20,095 trashy, trailer-park twat... Jesus! 912 01:08:20,347 --> 01:08:22,702 I've told you before: I like my man to be a ladies man... 913 01:08:22,827 --> 01:08:24,340 but not to cheat on me! 914 01:08:25,787 --> 01:08:27,698 What do these women know, man? 915 01:08:30,227 --> 01:08:32,218 Do they know how to get a man hot? 916 01:08:33,027 --> 01:08:35,063 Do they know how to make him let loose?! 917 01:08:35,347 --> 01:08:36,223 Depends. 918 01:08:36,347 --> 01:08:37,939 Depends on what, man? 919 01:08:38,867 --> 01:08:41,301 When you have a woman who knows what a man wants... 920 01:08:41,587 --> 01:08:44,260 What d'you do? Do you let her go? 921 01:08:44,427 --> 01:08:45,303 No, but... 922 01:08:46,267 --> 01:08:48,337 That's right! No buts... 923 01:08:49,387 --> 01:08:51,776 D'ya want me to prove it to you? Would you like that? 924 01:08:52,107 --> 01:08:53,506 Right here and now! 925 01:08:54,027 --> 01:08:56,097 Would you like that? 926 01:08:56,427 --> 01:08:58,065 Isn't that why you came to Vasso? 927 01:08:59,427 --> 01:09:01,099 D'you want it? 928 01:09:01,467 --> 01:09:02,786 My little stud... 929 01:09:08,587 --> 01:09:11,579 I'll fuck you, you asshole! 930 01:09:13,027 --> 01:09:14,506 Goddamn crazy bitch! 931 01:09:14,867 --> 01:09:15,902 Cunt! 932 01:09:21,387 --> 01:09:22,217 Come here you! 933 01:09:22,267 --> 01:09:23,825 Come here! Just you wait until I catch you! 934 01:09:23,987 --> 01:09:25,056 Come here! 935 01:09:25,187 --> 01:09:26,017 Don't, Auntie! Don't Auntie! 936 01:09:26,307 --> 01:09:27,581 I didn't do anything! 937 01:09:27,827 --> 01:09:28,862 Crazy bitch... 938 01:09:29,067 --> 01:09:30,500 Don't tell me they all want... 939 01:09:30,627 --> 01:09:32,140 Stop it! You're hurting me! 940 01:09:32,307 --> 01:09:34,059 Don't! Don't! 941 01:09:34,187 --> 01:09:35,302 I'll fix you! 942 01:09:35,467 --> 01:09:37,025 I'll tell my Mom! 943 01:09:37,267 --> 01:09:38,336 Go tell her! 944 01:09:39,387 --> 01:09:41,378 I'm going to fuck you, you jerkoff! 945 01:09:43,787 --> 01:09:45,982 You're not leaving this island alive, you asshole! 946 01:09:46,987 --> 01:09:48,978 Grab him! 947 01:10:04,267 --> 01:10:05,416 Come in! 948 01:10:10,627 --> 01:10:11,662 Next. 949 01:10:14,627 --> 01:10:15,696 Close the door. 950 01:10:17,947 --> 01:10:18,743 Sit down. 951 01:10:20,467 --> 01:10:21,422 What's the problem? 952 01:10:21,827 --> 01:10:22,577 Women. 953 01:10:23,787 --> 01:10:24,617 Women? 954 01:10:24,867 --> 01:10:26,061 They're after me! 955 01:10:27,827 --> 01:10:29,624 They're chasing you? And why is that? 956 01:10:29,947 --> 01:10:33,144 I don't know... or rather... I do! 957 01:10:33,307 --> 01:10:35,025 But even if I told you you wouldn't believe me. 958 01:10:35,227 --> 01:10:37,457 Let me be the judge of that. It's my job. Go on. 959 01:10:38,067 --> 01:10:40,058 They all want a piece of me. 960 01:10:40,907 --> 01:10:43,182 At first I thought I was just being lucky... 961 01:10:43,507 --> 01:10:45,498 then that maybe it was my imagination... 962 01:10:45,747 --> 01:10:47,783 I was in boot camp for 40 days and you understand... 963 01:10:48,147 --> 01:10:49,341 I see. 964 01:10:49,787 --> 01:10:51,743 But for the past two days they won't leave me alone. 965 01:10:52,147 --> 01:10:54,103 I mean they keep chasing me. D'you understand? 966 01:10:54,467 --> 01:10:56,617 Yes but why? What did you do to them? 967 01:10:57,107 --> 01:10:58,745 They want to fuck me and then kill me! 968 01:10:58,947 --> 01:11:00,585 A crazy tourist threw me in the water... 969 01:11:00,867 --> 01:11:02,664 another one wants me to be the father of her baby... 970 01:11:03,067 --> 01:11:05,376 a third one is convinced I'm an actor... 971 01:11:05,587 --> 01:11:07,305 and chases me around holding a screwdriver! 972 01:11:07,427 --> 01:11:09,338 All this is happening to you? How did you do it? 973 01:11:09,547 --> 01:11:11,617 They're mad! The women have gone completely crazy. 974 01:11:11,827 --> 01:11:13,818 They killed their husbands, sucked their blood... 975 01:11:13,987 --> 01:11:16,547 and then killed them and now they want to do the same to me. 976 01:11:16,747 --> 01:11:19,056 - You've got to help me! - Of course I'll help you. 977 01:11:19,387 --> 01:11:23,346 That's my job. Plus, I've got time... 978 01:11:23,507 --> 01:11:26,943 No more patients for today. But first let's calm you down, OK? 979 01:11:27,147 --> 01:11:28,819 Sit down over here. 980 01:11:29,187 --> 01:11:30,540 Take off your jacket. 981 01:11:31,307 --> 01:11:32,626 Can you tell me what's wrong with me, doctor? 982 01:11:34,147 --> 01:11:35,341 Put your feet up. 983 01:11:40,147 --> 01:11:41,580 Good. 984 01:11:43,147 --> 01:11:45,024 What's that syringe for? I don't want to go to sleep. 985 01:11:45,187 --> 01:11:47,098 You're not going to feel drowsy, It will help you relax. 986 01:11:47,347 --> 01:11:48,939 I don't need tranquilizers. I'm not crazy. 987 01:11:49,267 --> 01:11:51,178 No one said you were... 988 01:11:51,427 --> 01:11:53,463 but you're not entirely well either, right? 989 01:11:53,827 --> 01:11:57,297 It's spring, you're at your prime and your testosterone level is high.. 990 01:11:58,907 --> 01:12:00,898 Look, to be honest, the condition you describe... 991 01:12:01,147 --> 01:12:04,298 is the handbook definition of the sexual paranoia syndrome... 992 01:12:04,907 --> 01:12:07,182 a delusional disorder where the subject... 993 01:12:07,347 --> 01:12:10,498 projecting his own desire on unsuspecting women... 994 01:12:10,667 --> 01:12:13,545 he thinks pursue him with lustful intentions. 995 01:12:15,547 --> 01:12:17,265 No one's after you. It's all in your head. 996 01:12:18,587 --> 01:12:22,136 In other words that's it. I'm crazy... paranoid. 997 01:12:23,867 --> 01:12:27,303 Just a minute. How about Angela, the baker's wife... 998 01:12:27,507 --> 01:12:29,782 who wanted me to bake olive bread with her? Or the teacher... 999 01:12:29,947 --> 01:12:32,097 Ask the schoolteacher where her male students are? 1000 01:12:32,267 --> 01:12:34,303 They killed them all. You've got to believe me. 1001 01:12:34,507 --> 01:12:36,463 I'm the last man alive on this island. 1002 01:12:36,627 --> 01:12:38,140 Ask the schoolteacher! Ask her! 1003 01:12:38,867 --> 01:12:41,427 I don't need to ask Miss Stergiou anything. 1004 01:12:41,947 --> 01:12:44,859 I instructed the boys' parents to keep them away from school... 1005 01:12:45,067 --> 01:12:48,184 as long as the outbreak of mumps persists. 1006 01:12:49,227 --> 01:12:51,183 As for the men of the island, 1007 01:12:51,827 --> 01:12:53,340 this afternoon I examined three of them, 1008 01:12:53,547 --> 01:12:55,981 And the worst case was a simple toothache. 1009 01:12:57,867 --> 01:13:01,337 So please lie on your stomach and pull down your pants... 1010 01:13:05,027 --> 01:13:07,461 Don't worry it won't put you to sleep. 1011 01:13:07,747 --> 01:13:10,136 It'll simply help you relax a little... 1012 01:13:10,547 --> 01:13:13,220 and stop worrying about non-existent dangers. 1013 01:13:13,827 --> 01:13:16,421 But they're not non-existent. She threw me in the sea. 1014 01:13:16,747 --> 01:13:20,183 Don't worry. I won't let anyone hurt you. Where are you staying? 1015 01:13:20,547 --> 01:13:22,663 No, no. It's the same deal there too. 1016 01:13:23,267 --> 01:13:26,225 OK. Would you rather stay here? I could arrange it. 1017 01:13:26,427 --> 01:13:29,100 - No, no. I have to leave. - OK, you'll leave. 1018 01:13:29,427 --> 01:13:31,019 Hold this here a second. 1019 01:13:37,307 --> 01:13:39,457 What's that? Do I have to piss in this? 1020 01:13:40,147 --> 01:13:42,263 No, to ejaculate. 1021 01:13:42,947 --> 01:13:44,699 D'you need my sperm for some test? 1022 01:13:44,947 --> 01:13:47,666 No, I need it to inseminate myself. 1023 01:13:47,867 --> 01:13:51,985 My child-bearing years are numbered And today is a good day cuz... 1024 01:13:52,147 --> 01:13:55,139 I started ovulating 40 minutes ago and you look like 1025 01:13:55,267 --> 01:13:58,623 you've got a high sperm count. You could be useful. 1026 01:13:59,147 --> 01:14:01,581 - But you can't ask me to... - Why not? 1027 01:14:02,787 --> 01:14:03,936 D'you need help? 1028 01:14:04,787 --> 01:14:07,255 fellatio, perhaps? 1029 01:14:07,987 --> 01:14:09,978 You've taken the Hippocratic Oath. 1030 01:14:12,187 --> 01:14:15,224 Keep Hippocrates out of this. This is personal. 1031 01:14:19,267 --> 01:14:20,461 I'm going to see who that is. 1032 01:14:20,627 --> 01:14:25,098 When I come back I want to see you masturbating. 1033 01:14:30,867 --> 01:14:32,744 Help! 1034 01:14:33,387 --> 01:14:34,866 Argyro! What are you doing here? 1035 01:14:35,107 --> 01:14:36,904 Come on! Hurry up! Quickly! 1036 01:14:37,067 --> 01:14:38,625 You idiot! You killed me. I'm bleeding! 1037 01:14:39,347 --> 01:14:40,496 Get a doctor! 1038 01:15:07,467 --> 01:15:09,219 Things don't look good. 1039 01:15:09,427 --> 01:15:12,578 I've managed to find myself outside the house... 1040 01:15:12,907 --> 01:15:13,783 in the middle of the night.. 1041 01:15:13,907 --> 01:15:15,022 Now where do I sleep? 1042 01:15:15,307 --> 01:15:17,025 I thought of knocking on Mr. Vangelis' door but... 1043 01:15:17,147 --> 01:15:20,059 would he be in? I haven't seen him in days. 1044 01:15:21,587 --> 01:15:23,339 And what am supposed I tell him? 1045 01:15:23,507 --> 01:15:25,816 That my sister made a pass at me and my aunt sold me to an old witch... 1046 01:15:26,267 --> 01:15:27,939 or that I fucked his daughter over bergamot? 1047 01:15:28,107 --> 01:15:29,745 No way! 1048 01:15:29,907 --> 01:15:31,704 Something's gotten into the women since this morning... 1049 01:15:31,867 --> 01:15:33,823 I don't know... they've been after me first one by one... 1050 01:15:33,907 --> 01:15:34,862 and then in twos and threes... Fuck... 1051 01:15:34,907 --> 01:15:36,260 Give it to me. What are you doing? 1052 01:15:36,427 --> 01:15:39,305 If they all ganged up on me, I'm alone...I'm dead! 1053 01:15:53,667 --> 01:15:55,623 We're your destiny! 1054 01:15:55,827 --> 01:15:57,863 You're not leaving this island a live, you jerk! 1055 01:15:59,227 --> 01:16:01,787 CPR or mouth to mouth resuscitation... 1056 01:16:24,067 --> 01:16:25,182 Hi, buddy! 1057 01:16:26,787 --> 01:16:29,017 What's up? Why're you crying? 1058 01:16:29,747 --> 01:16:32,659 I'm not your buddy. I'm not your pal. Leave me alone. 1059 01:16:33,587 --> 01:16:35,464 You got your own problems. Of course. 1060 01:16:36,627 --> 01:16:38,618 But if you tell me yours and I tell you mine, 1061 01:16:38,867 --> 01:16:40,698 maybe we can help each other. 1062 01:16:41,627 --> 01:16:43,583 You see we're the last two men on this island. 1063 01:16:43,987 --> 01:16:44,976 Is that what you think? 1064 01:16:46,187 --> 01:16:49,179 Who do you think is sitting next to you? 1065 01:16:49,907 --> 01:16:52,944 The famous Alma Fardella! The loveliest voice... 1066 01:16:53,107 --> 01:16:56,224 of the past 100 years as Bernstein himself said. 1067 01:16:57,067 --> 01:16:59,297 My "Donna Elvira" is unsurpassed. 1068 01:16:59,627 --> 01:17:01,504 Dozens of sopranos have copied my "Norma"! 1069 01:17:01,707 --> 01:17:03,937 And this is what my cruel fate had in store for me... 1070 01:17:04,347 --> 01:17:05,939 Hiding on this island... 1071 01:17:06,707 --> 01:17:08,584 Buddy... Mrs. Alma... 1072 01:17:08,947 --> 01:17:12,940 Destiny wanted my womb! I had hormone treatment... 1073 01:17:13,067 --> 01:17:14,466 My voice was ruined. 1074 01:17:14,707 --> 01:17:17,301 I grew hairy and beastly so I look like a man! 1075 01:17:19,427 --> 01:17:22,624 Even you... admit it... you didn't recognize me. 1076 01:17:22,827 --> 01:17:26,263 You couldn't tell I was the legendary Alma Fardella! 1077 01:17:27,187 --> 01:17:29,178 Hey man, are you sure about this? 1078 01:17:31,107 --> 01:17:33,337 But what if I sang something for you? 1079 01:17:33,507 --> 01:17:38,581 Even with this voice, you can't but realize who I am. 1080 01:18:32,187 --> 01:18:33,097 Help! 1081 01:19:26,867 --> 01:19:28,186 Cheers! 1082 01:19:30,027 --> 01:19:32,541 Girls! A man! 1083 01:19:50,627 --> 01:19:52,777 Come here, doll! 1084 01:20:00,587 --> 01:20:01,576 I don't need a fuck! 1085 01:20:01,747 --> 01:20:03,658 Want a blowjob? You want it up the ass? 18 Euros! 1086 01:20:03,907 --> 01:20:05,898 And all the hanky- panky you like! 1087 01:20:06,747 --> 01:20:09,659 Come here you! 1088 01:20:21,787 --> 01:20:23,106 Petros! 1089 01:20:23,347 --> 01:20:25,338 Where are you honey? 1090 01:20:25,587 --> 01:20:28,101 Petros! 1091 01:20:44,827 --> 01:20:46,055 Stop! Stop! 1092 01:20:56,187 --> 01:20:57,586 What are you doing? You'll kill me! 1093 01:21:02,267 --> 01:21:03,302 Stop! 1094 01:21:04,147 --> 01:21:05,580 I can't hold on! 1095 01:21:09,267 --> 01:21:10,586 Stop! Stop! 1096 01:21:12,507 --> 01:21:14,179 You'll kill me, you crazy bitch! 1097 01:21:17,347 --> 01:21:18,826 You'll fucking kill me! 1098 01:21:35,467 --> 01:21:36,946 Petros! This way! 1099 01:21:37,147 --> 01:21:37,943 Roula! Is that you? 1100 01:21:38,187 --> 01:21:39,097 What's up? 1101 01:21:39,267 --> 01:21:40,666 Something's gotten into them! 1102 01:21:40,867 --> 01:21:42,186 - Into whom? - The women! 1103 01:21:42,387 --> 01:21:44,025 - Can't you hear them? - Are you scared? 1104 01:21:44,267 --> 01:21:45,495 They're here! They're coming! 1105 01:21:45,707 --> 01:21:47,060 I'll hide you. Come this way. 1106 01:21:56,547 --> 01:21:58,697 Don't be scared Petros. We'll hide you here. 1107 01:21:59,307 --> 01:22:01,343 I won't let any of them harm you. 1108 01:22:01,787 --> 01:22:03,106 But why? What did I do to them? 1109 01:22:03,467 --> 01:22:06,061 You're the last man on the island... 1110 01:22:06,227 --> 01:22:08,183 but you also took advantage of it! 1111 01:22:09,667 --> 01:22:10,986 I just came to get the Beetle. 1112 01:22:12,907 --> 01:22:13,657 Don't! 1113 01:22:14,987 --> 01:22:15,897 Bitches! 1114 01:22:18,347 --> 01:22:21,145 I'm the one who'll save my baby. I'm the one he loves. 1115 01:22:21,347 --> 01:22:22,177 What are you doing? 1116 01:22:22,387 --> 01:22:23,866 Roula! Tell them to stop! 1117 01:22:24,067 --> 01:22:25,625 Enough! Quit fighting! Where will you go, man? 1118 01:22:27,907 --> 01:22:28,817 Petros! 1119 01:22:56,627 --> 01:22:57,423 Roula! 1120 01:23:26,707 --> 01:23:28,220 Get him! 1121 01:23:28,587 --> 01:23:30,145 That way! 1122 01:23:37,067 --> 01:23:38,546 Petros! 1123 01:23:40,387 --> 01:23:41,615 That way! 1124 01:23:41,787 --> 01:23:42,856 Get him! 1125 01:23:52,507 --> 01:23:53,542 Hey, cunt! 1126 01:23:53,747 --> 01:23:55,100 Petros! 1127 01:23:55,547 --> 01:23:57,265 Get him. 1128 01:23:57,467 --> 01:23:59,105 That way! 1129 01:23:59,627 --> 01:24:02,187 Get him! 1130 01:25:38,147 --> 01:25:43,346 Captain, oh captain get your uniform ready... 1131 01:25:43,587 --> 01:25:48,377 Cause on Sunday, don't you forget I'm gonna be your wife. 1132 01:25:58,947 --> 01:26:05,261 Love me, love me... 1133 01:26:06,427 --> 01:26:13,105 Crazy women stop loving me... 1134 01:26:14,267 --> 01:26:20,740 You chase after me, you torture me... 1135 01:26:21,947 --> 01:26:28,580 and you all want to do it with me. 1136 01:26:29,627 --> 01:26:34,576 Don't love me... Enough! Go away. 1137 01:26:36,947 --> 01:26:43,056 Crazy women, stop loving me. 1138 01:26:44,227 --> 01:26:50,223 Don't look at me, don't touch me... 1139 01:26:51,387 --> 01:26:56,620 Don't love me anymore, you crazy bitches. 1140 01:26:58,627 --> 01:27:04,816 Don't suck it, you'll devour it... 1141 01:27:06,027 --> 01:27:12,216 It's only a little bird afraid of all the pussies. 1142 01:27:13,227 --> 01:27:19,223 Don't pluck it, it will remember... 1143 01:27:20,427 --> 01:27:26,377 and when you come back it'll pretend to be asleep. 1144 01:27:26,427 --> 01:27:27,780 He's coming down! 1145 01:27:27,947 --> 01:27:31,781 This is our lucky day! He is young! 1146 01:27:31,947 --> 01:27:33,096 He isn't old! 1147 01:27:33,307 --> 01:27:34,626 He's coming down! 1148 01:27:34,787 --> 01:27:36,345 Can't wait any longer. He's so handsome! 1149 01:27:36,387 --> 01:27:37,786 I want something tender... 1150 01:27:37,827 --> 01:27:39,465 Something very tender... something juicy... 1151 01:27:39,627 --> 01:27:41,822 Get his crotch first! Come on, girls. 1152 01:27:42,067 --> 01:27:44,342 Can't get enough. 1153 01:27:44,707 --> 01:27:48,416 Since you like to spread your legs, why don't you go... 1154 01:27:48,987 --> 01:27:54,823 to a dance school to a martial arts school... 1155 01:27:55,867 --> 01:27:58,779 instead of loving me... 1156 01:27:59,747 --> 01:28:02,625 since I don't want you anymore, you crazy broads. 86750