Original subtitles

The Earth is now populated by 3 billion people

In less than 40 years there will be twice as many people

The number of cars grows three times as fast

and five times as fast as the streets necessary to carry them

Julian Huxley says that stress is evident

in any city of over 1 million people

If all the vehicles in the US were lined up

the line would be as long as all the streets in the USA put together

In Latin America, over 1 million people die each year

due to hunger and malnutrition

In 1954, the USA used up

50% of the world's raw materials

By 1980 they'll be using 83% of them

Stress, a heart disease

a mental aberration

ulcers, etc, is due to

urban ennui, strenuous work and the lifestyle in large cities

Noises and worries are also stress factors for the heart

Do you want one?

Leave him alone Let him sleep if he wants to

I won't wake him up, I just want the Kleenex

Sit down

Just watch him waking up

Hold on tight

What's wrong with you?

Can't I sleep?

Driving the dead is no fun

Will you be like this the entire trip long?

Nights are made for sleeping, days for being awake, even if you disagree

I went to sleep early last night

Yes, as usual

I was in bed at 12-12:30

- I was reading a novel - Yeah, who with?

Alone Novels are meant to be read by yourself

What a pair! Why don't you let me sleep a while?

Come on, Antonio! Don't be a bore Wake up!

Reading last night! He probably doesn't believe it himself What about you?

Why not?

Not me

If you tell me what the novel is about, I'll repent

All right

In the novel, women turned into men

Men turned into women

And all the thalidomide kids were sent away to war

All because of, naturally, excess population

Which was mostly made up of old men like this one

And what else?

Well, they sent the kids away to war

and they killed each other

So the population couldn't grow

Don't you think it's a wonderful solution to the problem of wars?

If only you had the same imagination for your job

Go on What happened next?

That's where I left off

I had a terrible headache I don't know what's wrong with me

I've been sleeping badly for several nights

All those worries, I suppose

Or a bad conscience

Speaking of conscience, read this

Read it and you'll see how the world is doing

- 1968 Development Plan - Not that

Rehearsal Against Mediterranean Fly

Next week, on the island of Capri

there will be a rehearsal of a plan against the Mediterranean fruit fly,

which has become a dangerous plague, using sterilized males

I liked that part about sterilized males

Just for you, Antonio

The technique consists of freeing flies that have been subjected to

atomic radiations that render them sterile

The carefully controlled radiations destroy the reproductive capacity

in males in a manner that allows them to destroy the eggs laid by the females

instead of fertilizing them

At last, a method has been found that allows for the atomic sterilization

of insects at a low cost

See what I mean? At a low cost A few radiations and you're cooked for life

That would be handy for a few people

- Are you referring me? - No, not you

For you not even with radiations

With a little bit of luck, I can just see you at 70 with a walking cane and

worried about the future, which, between you and I, looks pretty uncertain

My future? My future is easy to foretell

As long as we work together, I see no reason to worry My future is certain

No, I'm not afraid of that

I'm just afraid of losing what took us so much effort

I'd be happy to go on living as we are now What about you?

What a couple When you get tedious, you go all the way

Things are OK the way they are, right? So just let it roll

What I don't get is how you can repeat the same crap every day

You can't call such important things "crap"

All right I promise not to say anything intelligent

Well, maybe a couple of things

You were out partying I can just see it in your face

And you probably went to bed at sunrise

Again No

I'm not interested in population growth

Your husband's got a one-track mind today

- Do you know the city of the future? - No, I don't

- New York? - Calcutta

More than 600,000 people live, eat and die on the streets of Calcutta

No roof over their heads

- Maybe due to the good weather - Kids eat along with the dogs

- The whole city smells of death - That's horrible Is it true?

Must be true if he says so

So many horrible things in this world

Fernando, Thursday is our daughter's birthday

Already?

If you had a child, you wouldn't be so cynical

Your concept of life would be different

Sure And if I had a bigger house, a better car

and a few million in the bank, my life would change too

- You've said nothing new - There are other things

Work, a family, children

And the wife, with a broken leg and locked up in the house

A broken hoof, Teresa A hoof is a very different thing

The hoof is something else

It is a strange member some mammals have to

walk, to step, and to how should I know? To swim, for example

- Stop for a moment - What's wrong?

Nothing, i need to get off the car

- Now? - Yes, now

Wait until the next town

I can't

Make it fast

- Want one? - No, thanks

I'll stretch my legs as long as we're at it

Very funny, ha, ha

I bet he went to get some flowers

- Come with me, come on - Where are you taking me?

Don't let him see us

Teresa?

Teresa

- Didn't I tell you about the flowers? - Look what I've brought you, Teresa

I'm off, this a boring game

- And Teresa? - How should I know?

Look at these flowers

Where are you?

Warm warm

I just wanted to give you a surprise

Look

They're very pretty

Don't ever do this again

All right

Have you thought about what I said?

How much will you pay me?

Friendship is one thing, but business is business, you know

I'm serious

I need you there There's a lot of money at stake

I have to think it over

A whole winter locked up

Sometimes money isn't enough

What do you think, Teresa?

You won't force him to be there a whole year?

That's none of your business

I can't go, and if it's not me, who better than Antonio?

In short, how much will you pay me?

We'll reach an agreement

If everything goes according to plan

it won't be a waste of your time, I can guarantee that

Do you still have a headache?

A bit Your husband always hits the nail on the head

Way to go A whole year in the middle of the desert

I need a definite answer by next week

Listen, what's that?

Once I had to put out a fire in a pine forest

I spent half a year without hair

I looked like a Martian

Women screamed in fright when they saw me

Please, hurry up Help me Help me, please

Pull Pull

- Fernando Fernando - Move away Move away

Get that woman in the car, fast

Take the woman to the car

Come on

Can't you hear me? Or are you good for nothing?

Be careful

Which is the nearest town?

Come on, answer

- It's nearby, I'll go with the motorcycle - Fine

You stay here and make sure nobody touches anything, I'll alert the police

Move over, I'll drive

- You go on ahead, I'll follow - Yes, sir

- How is she? - I don't think she's aware of anything

It's best to move her as little as possible in these cases

She might have a broken bone

Stop for a moment, Fernando

- Will you stop moving? - Just stop

- Stop - I'm not stopping until we get to the town

The sooner we get there, the better

Calm down

Calm down

- Bbb-ag - She wants her bag

Antonio, can you get it?

Here you are

- Can't get through here - Leave the car here, Fernando

It can't be very far

We can't carry her, try to get through

We can't Do you want me to split the car in two?

Hang on, I'll check

Steer to the right

Full steer

You're clean Straight ahead

- Have you called the doctor? - Yes, sir

Easy, Teresa, calm down It's no big deal

What's wrong?

Are you ill?

Sit down

At about 1130 PM

on September 28

1967

in this precinct, and before the undersigned

comes a person who claims to be Fernando Serra Pardo

born in Bilbao

Born on January 10, 1932

Industry professional

Who lives in Madrid, 12 Maria de Molina Street

Married?

Yes, married

Just a few formalities You saw the car burning

isn't that so?

When we got there, there was very little we could do

I tried to put out the fire with the extinguisher

He declares that when he arrived at the accident site

the car with Madrid license plate 226-288

was overturned and burning

at the 23 KM mark on the 312 county road

And that faced with nothing else to do

he did what he could to save the life of the passengers

of the aforementioned vehicle,

by helping the victims and transporting the wounded woman

who's yet to be identified

to the nearest town, where the present declaration is being written

What's up? Will you just leave me by myself?

- Teresa's not well - Leave her be You have to declare

I'm coming

What are you up to?

What's with the shoe?

Let's go, please Let's go

- How are you feeling? - I'll know once we get out of here

Hasn't changed a bit

It's strange that no one is coming out

Instead of making so much noise, why don't you get out of the car?

Enough, Ok? It's tedious

Juan

- Hi, Juan How are you? - Fine, and you, sir?

- Where are my brothers? - They left this morning,

they didn't have time to tell you

Your husband's very affectionate lately

Sometimes he's like that

When a husband's affectionate, something's going on

Do you think it's strange that he still loves me?

No, it's not that Have you noticed he's spying on us?

And you don't know where they've gone?

No, sir They left at dawn

- What's wrong? - Pablo isn't here

- Good day, Miss Teresa - When's he coming back?

Dona Matilde knows, I don't

- Dona Matilde was expecting you later - Later? I don't understand

- If you don't need me - Matilde

My girl

What happened to you?

- Well nothing, just a paint smudge - Hi, aunt

Do you want one of Beatriz' blouses?

Thanks, later You remember Antonio?

- Pleased to meet you, Madam - Why didn't Pablo and Beatriz stay?

I'll explain Let's go inside How was the trip?

- No so good - You must be tired, right?

- Not much - Will you be eating here?

- I'm not sure - Why?

Listen, who's Antonio?

I don't remember him

But, Aunt Matilde, he's been here many times

You must remember He was the best man at our wedding

Nobody told me about the wedding I was the last person to know, as usual

Matilde Of course we told you

We let all our loved ones know Don't you remember?

- You were ill - Nobody told me anything

I thought we wouldn't make it Bad luck, eh?

I just want to get into the swimming pool and forget about everything

- Do I have to play the guest now? - Of course not, we'll be leaving soon

Just enough time not to be rude

- What will you have, Antonio? - Anything

Bring some ice, aunt

Wait, Fernando Let her rest a bit

- I'm not getting any younger - Do your legs still hurt?

I don't think it's rheumatism

Can I use the pool, madam?

Of course you can Be my guest

- I'll get my swimming trunks, then - Anybody else wants to?

Don't you want to go for a swim, Teresa?

- Is that enough? - Yes, thank you

You could have brought the little girl here, it would do her wonders

Yes, but you know her grandmother She insisted so much

- It's blood - I've told you that it's paint

- Is Lucero in? - You don't want to ride now

That's exactly what I want to do

Here In case you want to swim later

Not a bad time to start drinking

Great

Doesn't even work

I'll go for a swim By the way

- Where can I change? - Anywhere

- Aunt, will you show him? - Sure

Come this way

Teresa, wait I want to talk to you

- You can change in Pablito's room - There's no need

I can change in the car or by the pool

Forget it Pablito must be looking for critters It's no problem

Come this way

- You can leave your clothes here - Thank you

Here you are

Beatriz almost never wears it

- Why don't you stay for dinner? - Impossible Some other time

I think it'll suit you

You're much thinner

I'd like to rest a bit

I'm leaving

We'll talk later, Matilde I'll help you with the sandwiches

Don't worry Juan will take care of that

Why don't you rest a while?

I'm not tired

The accident shook you, didn't it?

What do you think?

What happened was not my fault

You look strange

What's wrong?

Nothing Nothing's wrong, least of all with you

Fernando, hand me the blouse, will you?

Fernando, please Fernando

You've been very nervous lately

- Nervous? - Yes, nervous

Don't you have anything to say?

What do you want me to say?

I'd like to be alone with you

Doesn't look that way Why did you invite Antonio?

Now give me the blouse, please

- Thank you - That's not an answer

Have I done something that bothered you?

If you don't love me anymore, I'd like you to tell me

Of course I love you Have you forgotten that I'm your wife?

Fernando, what's with you these days?

Nothing

Why did you pull away?

I'm not pulling away

Don't you pull away from me when I'm kissing you

Forgive me, it wasn't my intention

I love you

I know it's my fault

I don't pay attention to you, do I?

It's not that

I'm just this way because

I don't know, because of the accident

- No, not now - Fine, do what you want

Here we go again

Why don't you have a cold shower?

Maybe you'll calm down

The horse is ready, miss

Thank you, Jorge

My poor little Lucero

You're a handsome one

How are you?

Thank you

Come on, Lucero Easy does it, easy does it

What are you doing here? Haven't they taught you to knock before entering?

- What's that? - They're mine Help me, uncle, or they'll escape

Where did you get all these bugs?

I catch some, others are sent by mail

It's disgusting

- What do you want now? - Would you like to see the motorcycle?

- Which motorcycle? - Dad's

Your dad's still got one?

It's new, but don't tell mom She doesn't know

He's got it hidden

Your father's at it again

What do you mean?

Let's go see that bike

How long has he had it?

They brought it a couple of days ago I discovered it

Come It's here

Come, uncle Help me

Where are you taking me?

Well, well

What do you think?

Mother won�t let him ride motorcycles

He promised he wouldn't Is it true he almost died in an accident?

But when mom's away, he practices

He says you were even better than him Is that true?

Yesterday he filled it up And the helmet is brand new

- Let me have those - Here you are

Now you'll see who your uncle is

Wait, uncle Wait for me

Uncle Uncle, wait for me

Wait for me

Lucero, this way Easy, like this

What is it?

How did you like that? Did you see me?

Are you nuts? Do you want to get killed?

I'm still in good shape Wait and see

Stop right now You'll get hurt

Fernando

Get away with that bike What is it that you want?

Go away

You're crazy

You're scaring the horse

Go away

What's wrong with you? Go away

The horse will throw me off Go away

Why are you doing this? You moron

Fernando

Are you hurt?

- Let me see - It's nothing

- No big deal - What are you going to do?

- No, Fernando, please don't - Let me go

- Come on, let me go - Don't do it, please

- Please, don't do it - Leave me alone

All right, suit yourself You're crazy

Totally nuts

Have you seen that, huh? How about that jump?

- Does it hurt? - No Follow me, try and catch me

He could have killed himself My goodness

Every time I remember his brother

- Two days in a coma - Aunt, it's just a slight wound

Give me the peroxide, please It's right over there

Thank you

It's your fault He drives me crazy

And his parents don't bat an eyelash He's impossible

- Leave him alone - Don't meddle with the kid

It's nobody's fault, these things happen

- Does it hurt? - Just a bit

Did you see that jump?

Not even your father could do it better

It was great, right, aunt?

You should get a tetanus shot Do you remember poor old Mateo?

Stiff as a board, he couldn't move

- An awful death - If you just saw what we saw

- Fernando, please - What was it?

- No, nothing - But what was it?

- What happened, Teresa? - Nothing, aunt, just an accident

A guy burning like a torch

Like those monks who light themselves up with gasoline

Haven't you seen them on TV? They end up as charcoal mummies

Really? That's awful

Hey, what's going on? What are you doing on your knees?

She's healing me A quite painful wound

- That hurt - Sorry It's finished

You gonna leave me like this?

Sorry, honey, but I don't know how to apply bandages

I'll get dressed

I'll do it, my child

Well, well tough luck Looks like the holiday's over

No way We've got to see that land first

And decide on your future

You'll spend the most boring winter in your lifetime, all for your good

- I'm off - Where are you going?

I can't stand seeing you suffer I'm very sensitive

Hurry up, aunt We're leaving

- Aunt - What is it, Pablito?

This is for you Do you like it?

- It's nice - It's a beetle For good luck

Thank you

You've wrecked the motorcycle, uncle It doesn't look the same

When my father sees it

Beat it, kid Leave me alone

Go help Juan Move it

I've finished

Get some rest, it'll do you good Do you want me to draw the curtains?

Ok, aunt, do as you please

moving my feet not knowing where I step

like a sleepwalker

Why don't you tell me precisely what you want?

Don�t you realize we can't keep going on like this?

I'm not an object

You treat me as if I were a cat or a dog

You kick them, then you pet them and wait till they come lick your hand

I'm sorry, but I'm not like that

You've got a decision to make

- Teresa, excuse me - You could have knocked

- You scared me - Excuse me, it's just

it hurts a lot right now

What were you doing?

Well to tell the truth, I was trying on some of Beatriz's clothes

Do you like it?

Do you like it?

- It's not bad - It's a bit large

Some craze with other people's clothes Don't you think it�s disgusting?

No, I don�t

Hurry up, we're leaving

Antonio darling, do you mind watching the landscape for a while?

If I must

Throw that bug away, Teresa I never want to see it again

Why? It's a present from Pablito

To kill a bug in such a way

What would you say if someone pierced your chest with a pin?

Huh, I'm not a bug

I said throw it away I'm not a bug, I�m not a bug

My dear husband You're insufferable Can we know why?

Well, man, just what we needed

Don't start arguing, please

There's nothing worse than being in the middle of a quarreling couple

- Give me that - And who said we're quarreling?

Come on, give me that purse Right

May I throw it away?

- That settles it - End of the bug

The world's population will double in the next 40 years

Today it is around 3 billion

Statistics say that in 2600, every man will only have 9 square feet of ground

We'll have to die standing up

I've already reserved my 9 square feet In "El Vate"

Nobody can touch it

The only solution is war Let a few million disappear, nobody'll notice

As long as it doesn't touch us, of course

In the seventh century, somewhere in Ireland

the population grew too much and there wasn't enough food

The Kings of Erie met with the Religious Chiefs

The Kings proposed to increase the land production

but the Religious Chiefs proposed a long-term fasting

which would provoke a plague among the lower class

They did as the Religious Chiefs said The plague killed half the population

including the Kings and the Religious Chiefs

Where did you get that from?

I read it on Esquire I haven't made it up, rest assured

The world is a very wrong place

Very, very wrong

A war would even be more awful

You know what I say? When they drop the H-bomb

the ground will become dry, parched Dead Just like this

This music makes the place look better

I think scuba fishing is disgusting Specially hanging the fish around you

They're so slimy

- You women can't stand three things - Antonio, not again?

- Right, but I bet you don't know - Ok, do as you please

Milk, bird feathers and fish They're all related, don't you think?

I can't see the relation

Milk detoxifies Bird feathers are used for mattresses

and fish have phosphorus Is that clear now?

Antonio Will you ever be serious?

Ah, you mean me? I'm not like your husband

He takes everything too seriously He'll have a heart attack any day

You'll get that heart attack after a year locked into that place

But don't worry We'll come to your burial

Do you know what my tombstone will say?

"Here rests in peace Don Antonio Linares "

"resident of San Roque, born in 1933 "

- "died on 2933" - What an idiot

Don't go any further We won't be able to get out

I told you so

You should always follow your wife's advice

Women are always right Do you want me to push?

Come on, get off the car, will you?

If you had listened to me, this wouldn't have happened

- Are you ready? - Whenever you say

Step on it, Fernando More

Fernando, I'm not pushing anymore

You don't expect me to spend the whole day pushing

Give me my purse And open the hatch, I'll change my clothes

Do as you please

Why don't we just leave it for later?

No, I'd rather do it by myself Don't worry

No, man, I'll help you

I said it's not necessary

What about the housing project? Isn't that what we came here for?

- Later After lunch - As you please Your call

Antonio Who might have lost this glove? Isn't it yours?

I'm not that obsessive It must be your husband's

Speaking of your husband How long has he been spying on you?

For about a week, more or less

A week? Huh, huh Well, there must be a reason

- Really? You think he has motives? - Oh, forget my absurd idea

Absurd, completely absurd He's known you for so many years

he should know you only fancy those fat money chasers

- Huh, Teresa, Teresa, 14 more pounds - Just like Ana

Isn't that true? How much are you paying Ana?

Teresa, please I'm a sexy guy

You are And how much would you pay for me?

Well, it depends Women

get paid according to their merits Get on the catwalk

Get on the catwalk

Get walking Come on, walk

Stop

Turn round Now come back with rhythm

Those arms Those arms, that rhythm

- Can you sing? - Yes

Enough Enough And you can dance?

Perfect You�ve passed the practical test

Now let's see some theory

And now the essential questions

- Do you speak Spanish? - Yes

- Are you married? - Yes

- Any children? - Yes

- Thrifty? - Yes

- Home loving and faithful wife? - Oh, yes

And now the most important question

Do you hold anything against rhinoceros?

Oh, no Not at all

Great, Teresa You're as good as cash, a blank check

- The opinion of an expert - A blank check

Sign it

Antonio Yours at last

Watch it, Teresa

You know you're very attractive

The only thing I know

is that he expects us to behave right the way we are

I can play along, if you wish

But you'll have to reward me

Now, let�s go

Fernando You don't know what this guy says about you

What does this fool say?

He says you are one of the greatest bores in the whole world

- Are you hungry? - Yes, let's have something

- Want some? - Yes, I'll have a cheese sandwich

Here

So I'm boring, huh? What about you?

Man, you're not precisely fun Too much to worry about

Money, wife, a child, a job you enjoy

The result is you're afraid of losing it all

That's why you are a bore In my case, I have nothing

What do I have to lose?

You might even lose your shirt one of these days

You'll end up lonely as a rat Some old age awaits you

How can you think of old age? Look at Teresa full of life

And you think of old age

Second square

Take off that stocking It's disgusting

Why?

I said take it off

- Don't you like me like this? - Take it off, please

As you please

- Why don't we leave? - Right now?

Yes Right now Please

Why? Nothing is rushing us

- Fernando, let's go now Please - No, not now

All right, all right, all right

More, more, don't be a miser

Aren't we going to make a toast?

- A toast for the three of us - Let's toast for our daughter

Have you forgotten we have a daughter?

I make a toast to the health of my daughter and this guy's daughter

May she be just like her mother except for her husband

You are so very funny

What a pair of bores

Come on, Fernando Let's go take a dip

Later

Antonio Cheer up

Try and catch me

Take a dip

Let's race

Just like this Crawling Like me

Crawling

Show you're still young You jumped higher than me at school

All right, let's do it But I'm handicapped

- Why? That's nothing - Let's start

- Ok - Wait a moment What's the prize?

A prize I�ve got a prize right here Let's go

This is the finishing line

- Get ready - Ready

Come on, Teresa

Are you ready? One, two, three

Go

They're on the run Come on Fernando, you'll win

Fernando You're first

Fernando heads the pack But Antonio is approaching fast

Antonio in the lead Come on, Antonio

Come on, Antonio Antonio in first place

Come on, come on Oh my God, that's cheating

Come on Come on, Fernando Antonio Hurry Antonio

Come on No cheating

No cheating Now Antonio is first

No

- Now you'll see - Stop

Stop right now

Here's your prize You deserve it

Didn't I tell you to throw it away?

You won't get away with it

You will learn to obey me

This is what happens to misbehaved girls

- like you - Leave me alone, you beast

Come here Jump right beside me

Asshole You'll pay for this I swear you will pay for this

- Teresa Come here - Leave me alone Moron

- I've said come here - I don't feel like it

Women

When are we going to see that land? Isn't that we came here for?

No, not now Almost a year without doing any exercise

You're not tired?

I'm not I'll try and catch some fish

- Coming? - No, I'm not

- Come on, Fernando, cheer up - Hmm

Come on, hurry up

Let me help you

Help me

Fernando Look

Look what Antonio got

Poor little thing All naked You'll catch a cold

Go get some clothes

Help me gather all the stuff We're leaving

How come we're leaving? Business is business

Shouldn't we go see the housing project?

We'll come some other day Next week Just the two of us

- I'm coming too - We'll see about that