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1
00:00:00,740 --> 00:00:02,740
Anyway, we get
to the end of the date,
2
00:00:02,740 --> 00:00:04,070
and I'm waiting for him
to kiss me,
3
00:00:04,070 --> 00:00:06,540
and all he offers
was a fist bump.
4
00:00:07,910 --> 00:00:09,350
So, what did you do?
5
00:00:09,350 --> 00:00:11,980
[Sighs]
I punched it in.
6
00:00:13,050 --> 00:00:15,790
[Sighs] Maybe I should have
cosmetic surgery
7
00:00:15,790 --> 00:00:17,920
to look more like that!
8
00:00:17,920 --> 00:00:22,530
Oh, I don't think
that's a good or possible idea.
9
00:00:22,530 --> 00:00:26,230
I'd do anything
to have a body like hers.
10
00:00:26,230 --> 00:00:28,630
Whoa! Hold up,
hors d'oeuvre man.
11
00:00:29,520 --> 00:00:33,490
Mm, tsk, thank you.
[Chuckles]
12
00:00:33,490 --> 00:00:35,840
These are to die for.
13
00:00:35,840 --> 00:00:39,240
I will take your word for it.
14
00:00:39,240 --> 00:00:42,610
I'm starting to think
I'm never gonna get a husband!
15
00:00:42,610 --> 00:00:45,200
Well, just...
16
00:00:45,200 --> 00:00:47,950
Don't put so much pressure
on yourself.
17
00:00:47,950 --> 00:00:50,950
I mean, don't look at every man
as a potential husband.
18
00:00:50,950 --> 00:00:52,190
I guess you're right.
19
00:00:52,190 --> 00:00:55,160
I shouldn't be so focused
on being Liz the wife.
20
00:00:55,160 --> 00:00:57,660
- There you go.
- I should just have fun.
21
00:00:57,660 --> 00:01:00,400
I mean, I'm not gonna look
like this forever.
22
00:01:02,000 --> 00:01:06,370
I have some crudite
on my left breast.
23
00:01:06,370 --> 00:01:09,940
It actually goes with the dip
that's on your right one.
24
00:01:11,940 --> 00:01:13,110
[Clears throat]
25
00:01:17,610 --> 00:01:20,350
Oh, my God.
26
00:01:20,350 --> 00:01:22,020
What?
27
00:01:23,120 --> 00:01:25,820
Look at me.
28
00:01:28,330 --> 00:01:32,500
I am...Art.
29
00:01:32,500 --> 00:01:34,930
How on earth
did that thing get into this--
30
00:01:34,930 --> 00:01:37,730
- shh, shh, shh.
31
00:01:37,730 --> 00:01:39,940
Just drink it in.
32
00:02:13,170 --> 00:02:17,010
Wait, you actually
bought a copy?
33
00:02:17,010 --> 00:02:21,040
I, uh, happen to believe
that it was underpriced.
34
00:02:21,040 --> 00:02:23,780
This thing's
gonna appreciate like crazy.
35
00:02:23,780 --> 00:02:25,950
You know what, I think
I remember that picture.
36
00:02:25,950 --> 00:02:28,180
It was on the cover
of Honcho Magazine.
37
00:02:28,180 --> 00:02:30,420
[Chuckles]
What's Honcho Magazine?
38
00:02:30,420 --> 00:02:32,720
I'm so straight, I don't
even get my own references.
39
00:02:33,960 --> 00:02:35,520
So how did this happen?
40
00:02:35,520 --> 00:02:37,030
Well, in college this, uh,
photographer asked,
41
00:02:37,030 --> 00:02:38,430
uh, me to model for him.
42
00:02:38,430 --> 00:02:40,180
Um, I guess
he's become a big deal,
43
00:02:40,180 --> 00:02:43,500
probably thanks to me
and the...
44
00:02:43,500 --> 00:02:46,600
I--it's--it's
pretty impressive.
45
00:02:46,600 --> 00:02:48,900
I mean, flat stomach,
taut, sculpted muscles,
46
00:02:48,900 --> 00:02:51,740
this faraway look in your eyes.
47
00:02:52,610 --> 00:02:54,240
What were you thinking about?
48
00:02:56,150 --> 00:02:58,410
Probably his
upcoming audition for wham!
49
00:02:58,410 --> 00:02:59,910
What's wham!?
I don't get it.
50
00:02:59,920 --> 00:03:01,580
I'm sorry,
51
00:03:01,580 --> 00:03:04,650
what art gallery
is your picture hanging in?
52
00:03:05,820 --> 00:03:06,950
It's not in galleries.
53
00:03:06,960 --> 00:03:09,290
It's on telephone poles
near schools and parks.
54
00:03:09,290 --> 00:03:10,460
[Laughs]
55
00:03:12,180 --> 00:03:14,130
All this thing does
is remind you
56
00:03:14,130 --> 00:03:15,830
that you don't
look like this anymore.
57
00:03:15,830 --> 00:03:18,270
Yeah. You know,
I mean, you're, like, okay now,
58
00:03:18,270 --> 00:03:22,900
but here you were just
a fantastic physical specimen.
59
00:03:22,910 --> 00:03:26,040
I'm still pretty close
to that, right, huh?
60
00:03:26,040 --> 00:03:27,680
Yeah.
61
00:03:28,580 --> 00:03:29,910
Except instead
of a six-pack,
62
00:03:29,910 --> 00:03:31,510
you have more of a keg
in there.
63
00:03:31,510 --> 00:03:33,250
[Laughs]
64
00:03:33,250 --> 00:03:35,650
I mean, I mean,
you were--
65
00:03:35,650 --> 00:03:38,490
you were hot, man.
66
00:03:38,490 --> 00:03:39,950
You've got the ripped abs,
67
00:03:39,960 --> 00:03:41,390
the lats, the delts,
68
00:03:41,390 --> 00:03:44,430
just the right amount
of chest hair.
69
00:03:44,430 --> 00:03:46,330
Heads up, Audrey.
70
00:03:46,330 --> 00:03:48,630
I think he wants
a piece of your husband.
71
00:03:49,430 --> 00:03:51,270
No way.
72
00:03:51,270 --> 00:03:53,840
Not this one.
73
00:04:09,750 --> 00:04:11,220
[Shutter snaps]
74
00:04:11,220 --> 00:04:13,090
Ow.
75
00:04:13,090 --> 00:04:14,940
Ah!
What happened?
76
00:04:14,940 --> 00:04:16,990
I--I tried to take a picture
of myself in the mirror,
77
00:04:16,990 --> 00:04:18,860
and I got blinded.
78
00:04:18,860 --> 00:04:21,660
Honey, we've talked
about how a mirror works.
79
00:04:21,660 --> 00:04:23,610
[Sighs]
80
00:04:23,620 --> 00:04:24,920
You know, honey,
I think we should have
81
00:04:24,920 --> 00:04:26,730
a professional photo
taken of us.
82
00:04:26,740 --> 00:04:28,120
Why?
83
00:04:28,120 --> 00:04:29,840
Well, Jeff had one of himself
when he was in his prime,
84
00:04:29,840 --> 00:04:32,120
you know, and he
was in such good shape,
85
00:04:32,120 --> 00:04:33,940
and his hair
was tousled just right.
86
00:04:33,940 --> 00:04:35,840
Okay, okay,
Audrey warned me about this.
87
00:04:35,840 --> 00:04:37,850
Well, I just think we should
have a picture of ourselves
88
00:04:37,850 --> 00:04:39,650
in our prime, you know?
89
00:04:39,650 --> 00:04:42,550
I mean, looks fade,
wrinkles start to appear,
90
00:04:42,550 --> 00:04:44,720
things start sagging.
91
00:04:45,800 --> 00:04:49,290
I might not
look as good either.
92
00:04:49,290 --> 00:04:50,390
[Scoffs]
93
00:04:50,390 --> 00:04:52,660
Adam, we are gonna age
just fine.
94
00:04:52,660 --> 00:04:53,760
I'm just saying.
95
00:04:53,760 --> 00:04:56,930
We've both seen your mom.
96
00:04:57,870 --> 00:04:59,600
Hey, my mom is...
97
00:04:59,600 --> 00:05:02,070
I mean, she's...
98
00:05:02,070 --> 00:05:05,370
Yeah, a picture might be nice.
99
00:05:08,880 --> 00:05:12,750
[Blender whirrs, shuts off]
100
00:05:16,120 --> 00:05:17,950
Hey.
101
00:05:17,950 --> 00:05:19,790
What are you doing?
102
00:05:19,790 --> 00:05:22,390
I'm juicing up a health drink.
103
00:05:22,390 --> 00:05:25,330
Juice? Health?
104
00:05:25,330 --> 00:05:27,430
You don't know those words.
105
00:05:27,430 --> 00:05:28,900
I do now.
106
00:05:28,900 --> 00:05:30,900
I got whey protein,
pure wheatgrass,
107
00:05:30,900 --> 00:05:32,800
and seaweed extract in here.
108
00:05:32,800 --> 00:05:34,640
I'm getting back to that.
109
00:05:36,370 --> 00:05:39,110
How many of those things
did you buy?
110
00:05:40,340 --> 00:05:42,740
Um, babe,
why are you doing this?
111
00:05:42,740 --> 00:05:46,080
For the art-loving public.
112
00:05:47,450 --> 00:05:49,220
And when did we get a juicer?
113
00:05:49,220 --> 00:05:51,170
Uh, last night
on the way home from the gym.
114
00:05:51,170 --> 00:05:52,790
It's pretty powerful too.
115
00:05:52,790 --> 00:05:55,590
Look, our wooden spoon.
116
00:05:59,490 --> 00:06:01,500
It's a little splintery.
117
00:06:05,330 --> 00:06:09,100
[Quiet chattering]
118
00:06:09,100 --> 00:06:12,010
Oh, thanks
for inviting me along, sir.
119
00:06:12,010 --> 00:06:14,280
Well, I've been in
a little bit of a slump.
120
00:06:14,280 --> 00:06:16,240
I thought you might be helpful.
121
00:06:16,250 --> 00:06:17,360
Oh, well, then I'm, uh,
122
00:06:17,360 --> 00:06:18,950
honored to be
your moral support.
123
00:06:18,950 --> 00:06:20,310
Yeah.
You just stand there
124
00:06:20,320 --> 00:06:22,180
looking skinny,
poor, and geeky.
125
00:06:22,180 --> 00:06:25,920
It'll highlight
that the alternative is avail.
126
00:06:25,920 --> 00:06:28,660
And you're welcome
for paying your cover charge.
127
00:06:28,660 --> 00:06:30,630
Let's not
live in the past, Tim.
128
00:06:30,630 --> 00:06:33,530
We gotta find out which one of
these delightful young ladies
129
00:06:33,530 --> 00:06:35,330
I'm gonna wear like a belt.
130
00:06:35,330 --> 00:06:37,870
You find a lot of ways
to say the same thing
131
00:06:37,870 --> 00:06:39,200
over and over again.
132
00:06:41,140 --> 00:06:43,670
Hey, could you do me a favor?
133
00:06:43,670 --> 00:06:44,810
[Laughs]
134
00:06:44,810 --> 00:06:46,970
Looks like the decisions
have been made for me.
135
00:06:46,980 --> 00:06:49,180
[Whistles]
136
00:06:49,180 --> 00:06:52,280
Hi, I'm Russell.
You've chosen wisely.
137
00:06:52,280 --> 00:06:54,720
- My name is dawn.
- Oh, as in, uh--
138
00:06:54,720 --> 00:06:56,880
- cue the crack of joke.
139
00:06:58,650 --> 00:07:00,860
This creepy guy
is hitting on me...
140
00:07:00,860 --> 00:07:01,890
Mm.
141
00:07:01,890 --> 00:07:03,660
Can you sit here
so he gets the hint?
142
00:07:03,660 --> 00:07:06,230
Of course I could.
143
00:07:06,230 --> 00:07:08,500
[Sighs] Oh, my God,
I love this band.
144
00:07:08,500 --> 00:07:10,100
I know!
145
00:07:10,100 --> 00:07:13,400
I really like them
and what they do.
146
00:07:13,400 --> 00:07:14,840
What's your favorite
song of theirs?
147
00:07:14,840 --> 00:07:16,570
That's a tough one.
148
00:07:16,570 --> 00:07:20,790
I would maybe say
the first song on side two.
149
00:07:20,790 --> 00:07:23,130
What's a side two?
150
00:07:23,130 --> 00:07:26,780
Who knows? I'm too busy
tweeting my besties!
151
00:07:26,780 --> 00:07:31,140
- Oh, hey, sorry.
- Oh, sorry, dude.
152
00:07:31,140 --> 00:07:33,020
My father here just found me,
153
00:07:33,020 --> 00:07:34,660
and he's really mad
154
00:07:34,660 --> 00:07:37,360
because I'm supposed
to be grounded.
155
00:07:37,360 --> 00:07:39,330
I'm really sorry, dad.
156
00:07:41,760 --> 00:07:43,500
Thank you so much, sir.
157
00:07:43,500 --> 00:07:45,370
Yeah, I'm happy to, uh...
158
00:07:45,370 --> 00:07:48,070
Help.
159
00:07:51,540 --> 00:07:52,740
Sir?
160
00:07:53,590 --> 00:07:55,330
Dad?
161
00:07:55,330 --> 00:07:56,710
Look on the bright side.
162
00:07:56,710 --> 00:07:59,080
She could have reasonably
gone grandpa.
163
00:07:59,080 --> 00:08:01,220
Dude, I took you out here
164
00:08:01,220 --> 00:08:03,280
thinking you
could help my slump,
165
00:08:03,290 --> 00:08:05,390
but instead I'm watching
my strikeout reflected
166
00:08:05,390 --> 00:08:08,520
in those hubble telescopes
you call glasses.
167
00:08:08,520 --> 00:08:11,890
Sir, why not try learning
a lesson from this
168
00:08:11,890 --> 00:08:14,700
and graduate from dating girls
to dating women?
169
00:08:14,700 --> 00:08:16,900
[Sighs]
You might be right, Tim.
170
00:08:16,900 --> 00:08:19,300
She was flat.
171
00:08:19,300 --> 00:08:21,840
I meant someone
a little more mature.
172
00:08:21,840 --> 00:08:23,940
Someone who might know
what side two means.
173
00:08:23,940 --> 00:08:25,110
Eh...
174
00:08:25,110 --> 00:08:26,470
For instance,
175
00:08:26,470 --> 00:08:27,840
and may she one day forgive me
176
00:08:27,840 --> 00:08:29,380
for bringing her
to your attention,
177
00:08:29,380 --> 00:08:30,810
this woman over here.
178
00:08:34,520 --> 00:08:37,150
All right.
I'll do it.
179
00:08:37,150 --> 00:08:38,420
All right.
180
00:08:38,420 --> 00:08:41,320
I'll do a little
charity work tonight.
181
00:08:41,320 --> 00:08:43,260
Get me out on my slump.
182
00:08:43,260 --> 00:08:45,660
By the way,
she's not gonna forgive you.
183
00:08:46,760 --> 00:08:49,600
Hey there. I thought
I'd boot-scoot over here
184
00:08:49,600 --> 00:08:51,000
and buy you a drink.
185
00:08:51,000 --> 00:08:52,830
How about them apples?
[Chuckles]
186
00:08:52,830 --> 00:08:55,340
Sorry, I'm a lesbian.
187
00:08:55,340 --> 00:08:57,440
Whoa. Really?
188
00:08:57,440 --> 00:09:00,340
Effective immediately.
189
00:09:02,110 --> 00:09:03,480
Ah.
190
00:09:05,850 --> 00:09:08,480
Here you go.
Another scotch.
191
00:09:08,480 --> 00:09:09,730
Hey, thanks, Doreen.
192
00:09:09,740 --> 00:09:12,490
Um, can I ask you a question?
193
00:09:12,490 --> 00:09:15,910
Yeah, they're real.
194
00:09:18,260 --> 00:09:19,930
No, that's not
what I was gonna ask.
195
00:09:19,930 --> 00:09:21,730
I, uh...
196
00:09:21,730 --> 00:09:23,160
Wow, all right,
I can't remember.
197
00:09:23,170 --> 00:09:24,430
I'm sorry.
198
00:09:24,430 --> 00:09:26,900
And what can I get you?
199
00:09:26,900 --> 00:09:28,600
What is the healthiest thing
on the menu?
200
00:09:28,600 --> 00:09:31,110
Nothing.
201
00:09:33,040 --> 00:09:36,110
Hey, what's wrong?
Why the orange face?
202
00:09:37,410 --> 00:09:38,780
Just...
203
00:09:38,780 --> 00:09:42,320
Can't seem to break out
of the slump with the ladies.
204
00:09:42,320 --> 00:09:45,020
Still? You just gotta
hang in there.
205
00:09:45,020 --> 00:09:46,350
Get back on the horse.
206
00:09:46,350 --> 00:09:49,960
[Sighs] I'm sick
of paying for it, though.
207
00:09:53,800 --> 00:09:54,900
Horse.
208
00:09:54,900 --> 00:09:57,770
I said horse.
209
00:09:57,770 --> 00:09:59,170
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
210
00:09:59,170 --> 00:10:00,330
Speaking of, here comes Liz.
211
00:10:00,340 --> 00:10:02,840
Do not leave me alone with her.
212
00:10:02,840 --> 00:10:04,000
Stay here.
213
00:10:04,010 --> 00:10:05,460
Okay, okay.
214
00:10:06,740 --> 00:10:09,710
Hi, Jeffrey.
[Laughs]
215
00:10:09,710 --> 00:10:11,180
Russell, right?
Yup.
216
00:10:11,180 --> 00:10:12,910
Anyways, I gotta get back
to my jogging,
217
00:10:12,910 --> 00:10:14,380
so I'll see ya.
218
00:10:17,620 --> 00:10:19,190
[Laughs nervously]
219
00:10:19,190 --> 00:10:21,590
- [Chuckles]
- Mm.
220
00:10:21,590 --> 00:10:23,720
Well, that's it. I gotta run.
Uh, it was good--
221
00:10:23,730 --> 00:10:25,430
- here you go.
222
00:10:26,610 --> 00:10:29,400
I ordered food.
What a space cadet.
223
00:10:29,400 --> 00:10:31,270
Doreen, could I
get maybe one more?
224
00:10:31,270 --> 00:10:32,900
And make it a double.
225
00:10:32,900 --> 00:10:36,290
You know what?
Make it two doubles.
226
00:10:44,980 --> 00:10:48,620
Nice work, lover.
227
00:10:48,620 --> 00:10:50,950
[Squeaks] Uh-huh.
228
00:11:09,490 --> 00:11:11,270
[Gags]
229
00:11:14,530 --> 00:11:16,580
[Grumbles]
230
00:11:27,120 --> 00:11:29,590
[Elevator dings]
231
00:11:34,060 --> 00:11:36,200
What are you, uh...
232
00:11:36,200 --> 00:11:38,500
I left you with...
Ehh...
233
00:11:38,500 --> 00:11:41,940
You're wearing the same...
234
00:11:41,940 --> 00:11:43,170
Oh, no!
235
00:11:43,170 --> 00:11:46,410
- Please don't tell anyone.
- Come on, man!
236
00:11:46,410 --> 00:11:48,030
It was a mistake.
I was drinking, man.
237
00:11:48,030 --> 00:11:50,840
Liz?
Is there enough booze?
238
00:11:50,850 --> 00:11:52,700
Look...
I was in that slump--
239
00:11:52,700 --> 00:11:56,020
- no! No excuses!
You did a bad thing!
240
00:11:56,020 --> 00:11:58,450
I--I can fix this, man.
241
00:11:58,450 --> 00:12:00,990
Look, I'm not gonna
take her calls,
242
00:12:00,990 --> 00:12:02,490
and I'll avoid your building.
243
00:12:02,490 --> 00:12:03,990
She'll get the hint, buddy,
244
00:12:03,990 --> 00:12:06,290
and everything will be
back to normal.
245
00:12:06,290 --> 00:12:07,900
You're not gonna tell anyone,
are you?
246
00:12:07,900 --> 00:12:12,900
I wouldn't want
to taste the words.
247
00:12:12,900 --> 00:12:15,170
Thanks, buddy.
248
00:12:15,170 --> 00:12:17,270
Get out of here.
249
00:12:30,320 --> 00:12:33,820
Ah, yes, very nice.
Yes...
250
00:12:33,820 --> 00:12:36,010
All right.
251
00:12:36,010 --> 00:12:38,530
I'm really liking
what I'm seeing.
252
00:12:38,530 --> 00:12:40,130
Ah, thanks, Rudolfo.
253
00:12:40,130 --> 00:12:42,330
Now, let's get a little sexier.
254
00:12:42,330 --> 00:12:44,500
Why don't you both
remove your tops.
255
00:12:46,570 --> 00:12:48,170
Can do, Rudy.
256
00:12:49,540 --> 00:12:52,510
I-I'm not sure
I'm ready yet.
257
00:12:52,510 --> 00:12:54,810
Oh, Jen, you saw my portfolio.
258
00:12:54,810 --> 00:12:56,630
It'll be very tasteful.
259
00:12:56,630 --> 00:12:59,580
We'll strategically cover
any parts that may--
260
00:12:59,580 --> 00:13:01,450
- Rudy, Rudy, if I may...
261
00:13:01,450 --> 00:13:03,620
I'll tell you what, honey,
I'll go first on my own.
262
00:13:03,620 --> 00:13:06,590
You'll see how easy
it is, okay?
263
00:13:08,360 --> 00:13:10,930
Rudolfo.
All right. Yes.
264
00:13:10,930 --> 00:13:13,830
There you go.
Okay, yes.
265
00:13:13,830 --> 00:13:17,130
Oh, now...
You're having fun.
266
00:13:17,130 --> 00:13:18,600
You're having fun.
Yes.
267
00:13:18,600 --> 00:13:19,800
Uh, like...
[Laughing]
268
00:13:19,800 --> 00:13:24,170
[Laughs]
Yes...
269
00:13:24,180 --> 00:13:26,610
Now--now you're
a little shy.
270
00:13:26,610 --> 00:13:28,610
A little shy.
Oh, wait...
271
00:13:28,610 --> 00:13:30,680
Oh, no...
Oh, so shy.
272
00:13:30,680 --> 00:13:34,050
Oh, now--now you've got
a secret...A secret.
273
00:13:34,050 --> 00:13:36,790
What is it?
274
00:13:38,620 --> 00:13:41,490
No, uh, I wanted
a different pose.
275
00:13:41,490 --> 00:13:45,130
Wouldn't that be
your secret?
276
00:13:46,860 --> 00:13:48,300
- No, I meant--
- No, because it's yours.
277
00:13:48,300 --> 00:13:50,030
Okay, you know what,
just to end this,
278
00:13:50,030 --> 00:13:52,270
I'm ready now.
279
00:13:55,310 --> 00:13:59,110
[Knock on door]
280
00:13:59,110 --> 00:14:01,030
It's Liz!
281
00:14:05,480 --> 00:14:07,980
Hey, Liz.
Hey, Jeff, it's li...
282
00:14:11,220 --> 00:14:14,320
Well, I just wanted
to let you know
283
00:14:14,330 --> 00:14:16,490
I took your advice.
284
00:14:16,490 --> 00:14:18,660
Oh, great.
285
00:14:18,660 --> 00:14:20,500
So which gym did you join?
286
00:14:23,370 --> 00:14:25,100
Not that advice, silly.
287
00:14:25,100 --> 00:14:28,100
I met a guy, and I just
had fun in the moment.
288
00:14:28,110 --> 00:14:30,390
Oh, good for you!
289
00:14:30,390 --> 00:14:32,610
Half hour after
we started talking,
290
00:14:32,610 --> 00:14:34,410
we were playin'
the old slap 'n' tickle.
291
00:14:37,480 --> 00:14:40,480
And I didn't think of him
as husband material
292
00:14:40,480 --> 00:14:44,620
because, believe me,
he was not.
293
00:14:44,620 --> 00:14:48,120
Yeah. I mean, obviously...
294
00:14:48,130 --> 00:14:51,090
You're not gonna marry a guy
you slept with that fast.
295
00:14:53,700 --> 00:14:56,600
How long before you and Jeff
started making love?
296
00:14:56,600 --> 00:15:00,500
Uh...Oh...I don't think
we slept together
297
00:15:00,500 --> 00:15:01,800
till we'd been dating
for a month.
298
00:15:04,340 --> 00:15:06,980
So who was this guy?
299
00:15:06,980 --> 00:15:10,680
I'd really rather not say.
300
00:15:10,680 --> 00:15:12,550
He was kind of a bowser.
301
00:15:14,950 --> 00:15:17,950
Oh, well, who's proud
to sleep with any man, really?
302
00:15:17,960 --> 00:15:21,460
[Giggles]
303
00:15:21,460 --> 00:15:22,560
So how'd you leave it?
304
00:15:22,560 --> 00:15:24,690
I pretended to sleep
305
00:15:24,700 --> 00:15:26,160
while he let himself out.
306
00:15:26,160 --> 00:15:28,100
I think he got the message.
307
00:15:28,100 --> 00:15:29,900
Let's just hope
kitty doesn't come back
308
00:15:29,900 --> 00:15:34,040
begging for some more milk.
309
00:15:40,180 --> 00:15:42,850
She's embarrassed?
310
00:15:42,850 --> 00:15:44,480
No, no, no...
311
00:15:44,480 --> 00:15:47,580
I'm embarrassed!
312
00:15:48,950 --> 00:15:51,650
She said she was.
313
00:15:51,660 --> 00:15:54,560
Called you a bowser.
314
00:15:54,560 --> 00:15:57,140
This can't be happening.
315
00:15:57,140 --> 00:15:59,630
If she's happy
to get rid of me,
316
00:15:59,630 --> 00:16:02,700
I have officially hit
rock bottom.
317
00:16:02,700 --> 00:16:04,130
Are you sure
that wasn't the time
318
00:16:04,130 --> 00:16:05,700
you called me at 2:00 a.M.
To ask
319
00:16:05,700 --> 00:16:10,010
if girls also had
Adam's apples?
320
00:16:10,010 --> 00:16:12,410
Oh, I'm positive.
This is way worse.
321
00:16:12,410 --> 00:16:13,440
It can't end this way.
322
00:16:13,440 --> 00:16:16,480
I'm supposed to get her
to want me,
323
00:16:16,480 --> 00:16:18,680
then I dump her.
324
00:16:18,680 --> 00:16:21,150
Just the way it goes, man.
325
00:16:21,150 --> 00:16:23,640
Sorry, it's already over, bowz.
326
00:16:23,640 --> 00:16:26,390
Then I'll have to restart it.
327
00:16:26,390 --> 00:16:27,520
Restart what?
328
00:16:27,520 --> 00:16:30,660
If I know Mr. dunbar...
329
00:16:30,660 --> 00:16:33,930
And I wish I didn't...
330
00:16:33,930 --> 00:16:35,930
He's going to try
to sleep with Liz again
331
00:16:35,930 --> 00:16:37,770
so he can be the one to end it.
332
00:16:37,770 --> 00:16:39,140
[Devious chuckle]
333
00:16:39,140 --> 00:16:42,140
Exact-a-mundo.
334
00:16:44,010 --> 00:16:47,040
And I'm gonna bring
the best game I've ever brought.
335
00:16:47,040 --> 00:16:50,580
And when she's begging
for more,
336
00:16:50,580 --> 00:16:53,620
I'll tell her the circus
just pulled out of loserville,
337
00:16:53,620 --> 00:16:56,490
and we're on our way
to skank town, U.S.A.
338
00:17:05,460 --> 00:17:08,700
Oh...Russell.
339
00:17:08,700 --> 00:17:10,730
Oh, yeah, it's me.
340
00:17:10,730 --> 00:17:14,870
And it's time for round two.
341
00:17:14,870 --> 00:17:16,440
Well, I was just about
342
00:17:16,440 --> 00:17:19,140
to change
the cat box liner and...
343
00:17:21,010 --> 00:17:23,180
Oh, what the h-e-
double hockey sticks,
344
00:17:23,180 --> 00:17:25,060
let's do this.
345
00:17:45,470 --> 00:17:46,720
[Clears throat]
346
00:17:46,720 --> 00:17:48,170
Jeff, wake up.
What?
347
00:17:48,170 --> 00:17:49,710
You were asleep.
348
00:17:49,710 --> 00:17:53,640
No, I'm gonna make a smoothie,
then I'm gonna go jog.
349
00:17:53,640 --> 00:17:56,910
Gotta look like this.
350
00:17:56,910 --> 00:17:59,050
That's a cactus, Jeff.
351
00:17:59,050 --> 00:18:02,100
Jeez, trying to look
like your old picture
352
00:18:02,100 --> 00:18:03,420
is killing you.
353
00:18:03,420 --> 00:18:04,690
You don't have to do this.
354
00:18:04,690 --> 00:18:07,020
If I don't, then I'm just
an old fat guy.
355
00:18:07,020 --> 00:18:09,160
Oh, shut up!
356
00:18:09,160 --> 00:18:10,990
You are in better shape
than most guys your age,
357
00:18:10,990 --> 00:18:12,530
and a lot of guys
younger than you too.
358
00:18:12,530 --> 00:18:14,700
True. But wouldn't you
rather have that guy?
359
00:18:14,700 --> 00:18:16,900
No. I had that guy.
360
00:18:16,900 --> 00:18:19,240
His dorm room was full
of neon beer signs
361
00:18:19,240 --> 00:18:21,800
and a Kelly lebrock poster.
362
00:18:21,810 --> 00:18:23,140
[Scoffs]
363
00:18:23,140 --> 00:18:26,740
Before seagal
got a hold of her.
364
00:18:26,740 --> 00:18:28,750
I mean, come on, look.
Wouldn't you rather have
365
00:18:28,750 --> 00:18:32,420
that guy with the six-pack
than this guy with the keg?
366
00:18:32,420 --> 00:18:36,050
Oh, honey,
is that what this is about?
367
00:18:36,050 --> 00:18:37,770
I was just teasing you.
368
00:18:37,770 --> 00:18:41,090
And I think you are
way hotter now
369
00:18:41,090 --> 00:18:42,360
than you were back then.
370
00:18:42,360 --> 00:18:44,830
How do you figure?
371
00:18:48,130 --> 00:18:50,100
Well, I wasn't really prepared
372
00:18:50,100 --> 00:18:52,770
for a follow-up question.
373
00:18:52,770 --> 00:18:55,940
Let's just go to bed
and we'll sleep on it, okay?
374
00:18:55,940 --> 00:18:58,540
[Chuckles]
375
00:19:02,550 --> 00:19:06,620
Hey, lover.
376
00:19:06,620 --> 00:19:08,890
Last night was incredible.
377
00:19:08,890 --> 00:19:11,690
Thanks, babe.
378
00:19:11,690 --> 00:19:15,460
But, uh...
Here's the thing.
379
00:19:15,460 --> 00:19:17,160
Before you go on, listen.
380
00:19:17,160 --> 00:19:19,300
No, no, no, wait.
You listen, okay?
381
00:19:19,300 --> 00:19:21,860
See...
Wait. Listen...
382
00:19:21,870 --> 00:19:24,200
If anyone's listening,
it's gonna be you, okay?
383
00:19:24,200 --> 00:19:25,330
So listen.
384
00:19:25,340 --> 00:19:26,500
- Listen.
- Listen.
385
00:19:26,500 --> 00:19:28,340
- Listen...Listen...
- Listen...Listen...
386
00:19:28,340 --> 00:19:29,640
- Listen!
- Listen!
387
00:19:29,640 --> 00:19:30,640
- Listen.
- Listen!
388
00:19:30,640 --> 00:19:32,780
- Listen!
- Urrgggh!
389
00:19:38,850 --> 00:19:42,420
All right, let's try this again,
real quick.
390
00:19:51,660 --> 00:19:55,190
So this is the picture
we decided to blow up...
391
00:19:55,190 --> 00:19:56,860
And frame.
392
00:19:56,860 --> 00:19:58,360
Okay, ready?
393
00:20:03,070 --> 00:20:04,370
Wow.
394
00:20:04,370 --> 00:20:05,670
What--what do you think?
395
00:20:05,670 --> 00:20:07,170
Jen looks hot.
396
00:20:07,170 --> 00:20:10,210
Thanks.
397
00:20:10,210 --> 00:20:12,090
What about me?
398
00:20:12,090 --> 00:20:14,580
I'm not looking at you.
399
00:20:14,580 --> 00:20:17,380
Can you?
400
00:20:17,380 --> 00:20:19,880
Can.
401
00:20:19,890 --> 00:20:22,120
Not gonna.
402
00:20:22,120 --> 00:20:23,690
What do you care
what he thinks?
403
00:20:23,690 --> 00:20:25,690
I just do.
404
00:20:25,690 --> 00:20:27,460
I want him to like it.
405
00:20:27,460 --> 00:20:31,530
Well, I think you look
really sexy.
406
00:20:31,530 --> 00:20:33,400
Thanks.
407
00:20:33,400 --> 00:20:35,630
Anyway, no matter how bad
we look when we get old,
408
00:20:35,640 --> 00:20:37,300
we will always have this.
Mm-hmm.
409
00:20:37,300 --> 00:20:40,010
You'll also have this.
410
00:20:41,210 --> 00:20:44,580
[Gasps]
Is that me?
411
00:20:44,580 --> 00:20:46,010
Yes...
412
00:20:46,010 --> 00:20:49,510
In an ad for
a gay escort service.
413
00:20:52,150 --> 00:20:54,920
Oh, my God!
The photographer must have
414
00:20:54,920 --> 00:20:58,520
sold the picture to them,
and then they photoshopped it.
415
00:20:58,520 --> 00:21:02,860
Well, at least they chose
a good shot.
416
00:21:02,860 --> 00:21:05,900
This is the one
where I have a secret.
417
00:21:09,400 --> 00:21:11,900
I think the secret's out,
buddy.
418
00:21:11,950 --> 00:21:16,500
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