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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,190 --> 00:00:02,360 Previously on Rules of Engagement 2 00:00:02,550 --> 00:00:03,570 what are you saying? 3 00:00:03,810 --> 00:00:06,480 I... I'm saying that I'll be your surrogate. 4 00:00:06,650 --> 00:00:07,810 Yeah, if you want. 5 00:00:07,990 --> 00:00:09,310 Are you serious? 6 00:00:09,800 --> 00:00:13,270 Put your baby in me. 7 00:00:13,270 --> 00:00:14,570 Excuse me. 8 00:00:14,570 --> 00:00:16,470 I'm who they're putting it in, so. 9 00:00:18,570 --> 00:00:21,640 You, saddle up, and get this right the first time. 10 00:00:27,280 --> 00:00:29,150 Mm, I just know you're pregnant. 11 00:00:29,150 --> 00:00:30,820 I really think we nailed it this time. 12 00:00:30,820 --> 00:00:33,420 Could be, I'm already feeling a little nauseous. 13 00:00:33,420 --> 00:00:35,320 Yeah, well, listening to Jeff peeing 14 00:00:35,320 --> 00:00:36,960 is making me nauseous too. 15 00:00:36,960 --> 00:00:39,120 Hey, come on. Brenda's gotta take the test. 16 00:00:39,130 --> 00:00:41,430 Hurry up, seabiscuit. 17 00:00:41,430 --> 00:00:42,560 Finally. 18 00:00:42,560 --> 00:00:44,730 I saved time by not washing my hands. 19 00:00:44,730 --> 00:00:48,230 Ugh. 20 00:00:48,230 --> 00:00:49,400 Oh. 21 00:00:49,400 --> 00:00:52,600 Wow, you didn't save any time by aiming. 22 00:00:53,970 --> 00:00:55,470 All right, let me see, let me see. 23 00:00:55,480 --> 00:00:57,910 Gross. 24 00:00:57,910 --> 00:00:59,340 Oh, something's happening. 25 00:00:59,350 --> 00:01:00,450 What... 26 00:01:00,450 --> 00:01:01,610 What's a red line? 27 00:01:01,610 --> 00:01:04,320 A red line... Is a baby. 28 00:01:04,320 --> 00:01:07,490 Agh! It's a baby, Jeff! 29 00:01:07,490 --> 00:01:11,490 We made a baby! Oh, my God! 30 00:01:11,490 --> 00:01:14,560 Feel free to keep that going. 31 00:01:16,230 --> 00:01:18,100 Really? Now? 32 00:01:18,100 --> 00:01:21,370 Is there a bad time for girl on girl? 33 00:01:22,770 --> 00:01:24,870 Can we please not have your creepy perversion 34 00:01:24,870 --> 00:01:27,010 be part of this? Fine. 35 00:01:27,010 --> 00:01:28,870 Okay, now I know we're all excited, 36 00:01:28,880 --> 00:01:30,780 but we don't actually know for sure. 37 00:01:30,780 --> 00:01:32,280 So let's just keep this between ourselves 38 00:01:32,280 --> 00:01:34,380 until we see the doctor. Agreed. 39 00:01:34,380 --> 00:01:37,280 Cheers! 40 00:01:37,280 --> 00:01:42,050 Way to go, aud, you made it a whole 28 minutes. 41 00:01:42,060 --> 00:01:43,560 Jen said "what's up, aud?" 42 00:01:43,560 --> 00:01:46,430 What was I gonna do, lie to her face? 43 00:01:46,430 --> 00:01:48,130 Congratulations, you're gonna be a dad. 44 00:01:49,330 --> 00:01:52,130 No sleep, no peace, no sex, no money... 45 00:01:52,130 --> 00:01:54,300 Your life's officially over. 46 00:01:54,300 --> 00:01:57,640 Well, that might be true, but I'm having a kid. 47 00:01:57,640 --> 00:01:59,810 And you're gonna die alone. 48 00:01:59,810 --> 00:02:03,080 All right, fun's over. 49 00:02:30,740 --> 00:02:32,080 Hey, Jeff. 50 00:02:32,080 --> 00:02:33,340 You wanna know what you should order? 51 00:02:33,340 --> 00:02:35,150 - No. - Why not? 52 00:02:35,150 --> 00:02:37,150 'Cause it'll be stupid. 53 00:02:37,150 --> 00:02:38,320 No, check it out. 54 00:02:38,320 --> 00:02:40,680 Okay, it's a breakfast sandwich, right? 55 00:02:40,690 --> 00:02:42,750 But with waffles instead of bread. 56 00:02:42,750 --> 00:02:44,590 It's for better gripping. 57 00:02:44,590 --> 00:02:47,360 See? 58 00:02:49,030 --> 00:02:51,460 Speaking of stupid, how's the pregnancy going? 59 00:02:51,460 --> 00:02:54,000 - So far, so good. - Oh yeah? 60 00:02:54,000 --> 00:02:56,470 You're lucky, that stuff can get rough. 61 00:02:56,470 --> 00:02:58,030 What do you know about it? 62 00:02:58,040 --> 00:02:59,370 'Cause a girl I was seeing once 63 00:02:59,370 --> 00:03:00,700 thought she was pregnant. 64 00:03:00,710 --> 00:03:04,470 Ugh, the sleepless nights, the crying, the throwing up. 65 00:03:04,480 --> 00:03:07,240 She was pretty upset about it too. 66 00:03:07,250 --> 00:03:10,050 In my case, Audrey's not the one who's pregnant. 67 00:03:10,050 --> 00:03:12,250 Brenda is. So my wife can still drink. 68 00:03:12,250 --> 00:03:14,420 Which helps her make the bad decision 69 00:03:14,420 --> 00:03:16,320 to sleep with me. 70 00:03:16,320 --> 00:03:18,320 That's all a benefit of using a surrogate. 71 00:03:18,320 --> 00:03:19,320 That's why I'm doing it. 72 00:03:19,320 --> 00:03:20,720 No, I thought it was because 73 00:03:20,730 --> 00:03:22,790 you had, like, super-slow sperm. 74 00:03:22,790 --> 00:03:25,100 Yeah, and I thought it was so Audrey 75 00:03:25,100 --> 00:03:28,830 wouldn't get all messed up down South. 76 00:03:28,830 --> 00:03:31,530 Looks like once again, I beat the system. 77 00:03:31,540 --> 00:03:33,270 When did you beat it before? 78 00:03:33,270 --> 00:03:34,470 1993. 79 00:03:34,470 --> 00:03:35,610 I had a rental car for a week 80 00:03:35,610 --> 00:03:39,440 and they only charged me five days. 81 00:03:39,440 --> 00:03:44,010 Disney world really is the happiest place on earth. 82 00:03:44,020 --> 00:03:45,480 - Hey. - Hey. 83 00:03:45,480 --> 00:03:46,920 Oh, hey. There she is. 84 00:03:46,920 --> 00:03:48,950 I was thinking maybe later we go over to mcsweeney's, 85 00:03:48,950 --> 00:03:50,520 catch the mets game. 86 00:03:50,520 --> 00:03:52,260 Yeah, right. Like I'm gonna sit 87 00:03:52,260 --> 00:03:56,290 next to you sober, in a bar that smells like armpit. 88 00:03:56,290 --> 00:03:57,630 Only to then find out 89 00:03:57,630 --> 00:04:00,960 it isn't the bar that smells like armpit. 90 00:04:02,530 --> 00:04:03,900 Well, uh... 91 00:04:03,900 --> 00:04:06,970 Well, Jeff, I've been barfing all morning. 92 00:04:06,970 --> 00:04:09,410 And then... because I wasn't already miserable enough... 93 00:04:09,410 --> 00:04:13,240 My idiot neighbor set off a bug bomb in their apartment. 94 00:04:14,710 --> 00:04:16,810 Are you crying? 95 00:04:16,810 --> 00:04:20,620 Are you a moron? 96 00:04:20,620 --> 00:04:22,020 Thanks a lot, Jeff. 97 00:04:22,020 --> 00:04:24,960 You've turned me into a freaking girl. 98 00:04:24,960 --> 00:04:26,720 All right. I know what can help. 99 00:04:26,720 --> 00:04:28,120 How about I buy you some breakfast? 100 00:04:28,130 --> 00:04:30,230 Oh, yeah, that's just what I need, jackass, 101 00:04:30,230 --> 00:04:33,100 more of your eggs in me. 102 00:04:33,100 --> 00:04:35,700 Oh, God, I think I'm gonna be sick. 103 00:04:37,030 --> 00:04:40,270 Looks like the system's still got some fight in it. 104 00:04:45,510 --> 00:04:47,740 And why, you ask? 105 00:04:47,750 --> 00:04:51,350 Because the waffles provide a superior grip. 106 00:04:51,350 --> 00:04:53,720 What, have you been dropping a lot of sandwiches? 107 00:04:53,720 --> 00:04:56,990 Well, I mean, enough to wanna do something about it. 108 00:04:58,660 --> 00:05:00,860 Ah, Jennifer. So nice to see you here. 109 00:05:00,860 --> 00:05:02,890 Oh, I just had to get out of the apartment. 110 00:05:02,890 --> 00:05:04,560 I've been knee-deep in planning the wedding. 111 00:05:04,560 --> 00:05:05,830 There is so much to do. 112 00:05:05,830 --> 00:05:07,860 Yeah, and Jen doesn't like any of my suggestions. 113 00:05:07,870 --> 00:05:10,700 His last one was a petting zoo. 114 00:05:10,700 --> 00:05:12,800 To celebrate our love. 115 00:05:12,800 --> 00:05:14,970 Yes, because nothing says "I love you" 116 00:05:14,970 --> 00:05:17,370 like walking around in goat pooh. 117 00:05:17,380 --> 00:05:18,410 Mm. 118 00:05:18,410 --> 00:05:20,010 You know, Jennifer, in a former life, 119 00:05:20,010 --> 00:05:21,540 I was an assistant to an event planner. 120 00:05:21,550 --> 00:05:24,450 Oh, you remember your past life? 121 00:05:24,450 --> 00:05:27,280 That's amazing. 122 00:05:27,280 --> 00:05:30,790 Was I there? 123 00:05:30,790 --> 00:05:33,620 No, no, I was referring to my life 124 00:05:33,620 --> 00:05:34,790 before I met Mr. dunbar 125 00:05:34,790 --> 00:05:38,130 and began my career as Satan's wet nurse. 126 00:05:38,130 --> 00:05:39,400 You know, there's wedding planning software 127 00:05:39,400 --> 00:05:40,560 that can be very helpful. 128 00:05:40,560 --> 00:05:42,170 I could help you set it up, if you'd like. 129 00:05:42,170 --> 00:05:43,270 Oh, that would be great. 130 00:05:43,270 --> 00:05:44,630 What about tonight after work? 131 00:05:44,640 --> 00:05:47,200 Oh, I can do it right now. 132 00:05:47,200 --> 00:05:48,570 It's the middle of the day, 133 00:05:48,570 --> 00:05:49,970 won't Russell know you're gone? 134 00:05:49,970 --> 00:05:53,180 No, not if I bring in my replacement. 135 00:05:58,920 --> 00:06:01,020 You can't tell me that actually works. 136 00:06:01,020 --> 00:06:02,790 Ah, it began as an act of rebellion. 137 00:06:02,790 --> 00:06:06,420 I wanted to show Mr. dunbar what it would be like without me. 138 00:06:06,420 --> 00:06:08,430 Apparently, it would be largely the same. 139 00:06:08,430 --> 00:06:12,330 Oh, well, let's go. Yeah, let's. 140 00:06:12,330 --> 00:06:15,500 He keeps looking at me. 141 00:06:17,170 --> 00:06:19,240 Hey, Timmy, I'm gonna take a little nappy-nap. 142 00:06:19,240 --> 00:06:22,510 No calls. N-n-n...None. 143 00:06:29,650 --> 00:06:31,210 - Hey. - Hey. 144 00:06:31,220 --> 00:06:32,680 I just got off the phone with Brenda. 145 00:06:32,680 --> 00:06:36,190 Oh, the pregnant lunatic go off on you too? 146 00:06:36,190 --> 00:06:37,750 What? 147 00:06:37,760 --> 00:06:40,920 I've never seen her so unreasonable and cranky. 148 00:06:40,930 --> 00:06:43,890 She was being pretty wifey. 149 00:06:46,700 --> 00:06:48,230 Wifey? 150 00:06:48,230 --> 00:06:49,970 You know what I mean. 151 00:06:49,970 --> 00:06:52,100 Yes, I know what you mean. 152 00:06:52,100 --> 00:06:54,340 And you're being pretty selfish and insensitive. 153 00:06:54,340 --> 00:06:55,870 Or should I say "husbandy?" 154 00:06:55,870 --> 00:06:57,110 Ooh. 155 00:06:57,110 --> 00:06:59,040 That was a little uncalled for. 156 00:06:59,040 --> 00:07:00,480 Hey, why are we arguing here? 157 00:07:00,480 --> 00:07:03,750 Because you walked into the apartment and spoke. 158 00:07:05,680 --> 00:07:08,050 Look, we're on the same team here. 159 00:07:08,050 --> 00:07:10,090 All right, we get to be on the sidelines having fun 160 00:07:10,090 --> 00:07:13,620 while our baby caddy does all the heavy lifting. 161 00:07:13,620 --> 00:07:15,390 What is your problem? 162 00:07:15,390 --> 00:07:16,890 I don't wanna be on the sidelines, 163 00:07:16,890 --> 00:07:19,300 I want to be involved. And you should too. 164 00:07:19,300 --> 00:07:21,400 For once in your life, don't be so selfish. 165 00:07:21,400 --> 00:07:23,800 Or... 166 00:07:23,800 --> 00:07:25,100 You be selfish with me. 167 00:07:25,100 --> 00:07:28,100 How about I take you out for a big night on the town? 168 00:07:28,110 --> 00:07:30,310 Huh. Let's crack open that coupon book 169 00:07:30,310 --> 00:07:32,610 that we bought from that cub scout. 170 00:07:32,610 --> 00:07:34,680 No, I am going over to help Brenda. 171 00:07:34,680 --> 00:07:36,310 You wanna go out, go by yourself. 172 00:07:36,310 --> 00:07:39,350 Ah, I'm not going without you. 173 00:07:39,350 --> 00:07:42,590 Most of these are two for one. 174 00:07:45,660 --> 00:07:48,760 Audrey's almost as bad as Brenda now. 175 00:07:48,760 --> 00:07:51,090 Oh, really? So now you got nowhere to turn. 176 00:07:51,100 --> 00:07:52,960 It's like I'm going up against tag team wrestlers. 177 00:07:52,960 --> 00:07:55,130 You try to pin one, the other sneaks up behind you 178 00:07:55,130 --> 00:07:58,470 and brains you with a folding chair. 179 00:07:58,470 --> 00:08:00,400 Well, I'd tell you how I'd handle your problem, 180 00:08:00,400 --> 00:08:02,470 but I'm sure you don't wanna hear what I have to say. 181 00:08:02,470 --> 00:08:05,580 Thanks, buddy. I appreciate that. 182 00:08:05,580 --> 00:08:07,980 Oh, no, my sandwich slipped out of my hands! 183 00:08:07,980 --> 00:08:11,610 - Really? - No. 184 00:08:11,620 --> 00:08:13,550 I feel for you buddy, but... 185 00:08:13,550 --> 00:08:14,620 Just tap out? 186 00:08:14,620 --> 00:08:16,590 No, I got this. 187 00:08:16,590 --> 00:08:19,120 I know exactly what to do when Audrey gets like this. 188 00:08:19,120 --> 00:08:20,660 I'm sorry, aud, I'm gonna be home 189 00:08:20,660 --> 00:08:22,430 a little bit later than usual tonight. 190 00:08:22,430 --> 00:08:26,700 I got a lot of paperwork I gotta get through. 191 00:08:29,800 --> 00:08:33,000 Bingham for the win! 192 00:08:34,740 --> 00:08:38,070 Let's focus on the ones I did make. 193 00:08:40,580 --> 00:08:43,310 Now the wedding software does a lot of the work. 194 00:08:43,310 --> 00:08:45,110 For instance, if you input your zip code, 195 00:08:45,120 --> 00:08:46,950 it brings up links to local florists. 196 00:08:46,950 --> 00:08:48,790 What sort of flowers were you thinking about? 197 00:08:48,790 --> 00:08:51,960 Oh, well, I've always liked white roses. 198 00:08:51,960 --> 00:08:54,560 White roses, hmm. 199 00:08:54,560 --> 00:08:56,130 Is something wrong? 200 00:08:56,130 --> 00:08:58,930 No, no, no, it's a classic and elegant choice. 201 00:08:58,930 --> 00:09:00,400 What, you can tell me. Be honest. 202 00:09:00,400 --> 00:09:02,970 Okay. Are we planning a wedding here, 203 00:09:02,970 --> 00:09:06,770 or some sort of backwards junior prom? 204 00:09:06,770 --> 00:09:09,070 Wow. Okay, what would you suggest? 205 00:09:09,070 --> 00:09:10,440 Here's a thought. 206 00:09:10,440 --> 00:09:12,380 What if you went with seasonal wildflowers? 207 00:09:12,380 --> 00:09:13,640 Which you could easily integrate into both 208 00:09:13,640 --> 00:09:15,610 your bridal bouquets and your centerpieces? 209 00:09:15,610 --> 00:09:17,180 - Oh, I love that! - Yeah, yeah, yeah. 210 00:09:17,180 --> 00:09:19,020 And after the ceremony, we can feed them to the animals... 211 00:09:19,020 --> 00:09:20,980 There's no petting zoo. 212 00:09:20,990 --> 00:09:23,090 You put a bulls-eye on this 213 00:09:23,090 --> 00:09:25,620 from the moment I mentioned it. 214 00:09:25,620 --> 00:09:28,860 Just remember, this is my big day too. 215 00:09:38,070 --> 00:09:41,040 Ah. You're home. 216 00:09:41,040 --> 00:09:43,410 Had to happen. 217 00:09:43,410 --> 00:09:45,710 What exactly were you working on so late? 218 00:09:45,710 --> 00:09:48,180 Oh, damned Anderson account. 219 00:09:48,180 --> 00:09:49,880 I thought you said it was the Jenkins file. 220 00:09:49,880 --> 00:09:53,920 The Jenkins-Anderson merger, keep up. 221 00:09:53,920 --> 00:09:55,120 How are things going? 222 00:09:55,120 --> 00:09:56,720 Brenda's feeling worse and worse, 223 00:09:56,720 --> 00:09:59,120 and I'm freaking out trying to make her comfortable. 224 00:09:59,120 --> 00:10:01,060 - I'm so sorry. - Yeah, well, forget about it. 225 00:10:01,060 --> 00:10:03,190 I've given up on you being helpful. 226 00:10:03,190 --> 00:10:04,990 I appreciate that, hon. 227 00:10:05,000 --> 00:10:07,700 Just this pregnancy is hitting us pretty fast. 228 00:10:07,700 --> 00:10:10,000 And you know me, 229 00:10:10,000 --> 00:10:12,300 I'm kind of a creature of habit, and I... 230 00:10:12,300 --> 00:10:15,410 Hey, thanks for letting me stay here for a while. 231 00:10:15,410 --> 00:10:18,610 I don't like change. 232 00:10:24,750 --> 00:10:28,360 So this is a thing? Brenda's staying here now? 233 00:10:28,360 --> 00:10:31,630 No, Jeff, I just stopped by to model my robe. 234 00:10:32,960 --> 00:10:36,230 Can I go stay at her place, or...? 235 00:10:38,030 --> 00:10:40,200 No, Jeff. You stay here. 236 00:10:40,200 --> 00:10:41,740 She had to get away from 237 00:10:41,740 --> 00:10:43,670 the bug bomb fumes in her building. 238 00:10:43,670 --> 00:10:45,840 Plus this way, we can help take care of her. 239 00:10:45,840 --> 00:10:47,040 Okay. 240 00:10:47,040 --> 00:10:48,840 On a completely unrelated note, 241 00:10:48,840 --> 00:10:51,350 I need all of our beer. 242 00:10:51,350 --> 00:10:54,580 Oh, my God. Jeff, your feet! 243 00:10:54,580 --> 00:10:56,150 Oh, I'm totally gonna be sick again. 244 00:10:56,150 --> 00:10:58,690 Oh, great! Look what you did! 245 00:10:58,690 --> 00:11:00,860 All I did was walk into my home. 246 00:11:00,860 --> 00:11:03,460 You know what your feet are like at the end of the day. 247 00:11:03,460 --> 00:11:05,230 Seriously, I think that's why 248 00:11:05,230 --> 00:11:07,400 we don't have any cockroaches. 249 00:11:07,400 --> 00:11:09,430 On second thought, I need all of our scotch. 250 00:11:09,430 --> 00:11:11,700 No. Not now. 251 00:11:11,700 --> 00:11:13,070 I need you to go to the store 252 00:11:13,070 --> 00:11:14,600 and pick up some ginger ale. 253 00:11:14,600 --> 00:11:17,470 Nah, I'll just drink it straight. 254 00:11:17,470 --> 00:11:19,740 For Brenda. And saltines too. 255 00:11:19,740 --> 00:11:21,140 It's the end of the day 256 00:11:21,140 --> 00:11:22,380 and my shoes are off, 257 00:11:22,380 --> 00:11:25,910 and my pants are on the on-deck circle. 258 00:11:25,920 --> 00:11:28,180 Come on, Jeff. 259 00:11:28,180 --> 00:11:31,390 Can you at least do one helpful thing? 260 00:11:31,390 --> 00:11:32,990 All right. Just one. 261 00:11:32,990 --> 00:11:35,520 Thank you. 262 00:11:35,520 --> 00:11:36,930 God, my head is killing me. 263 00:11:36,930 --> 00:11:38,430 Can you get me something for a headache? 264 00:11:38,430 --> 00:11:40,360 - Okay. - Ugh. 265 00:11:40,360 --> 00:11:43,500 But not aspirin. Ibuprofen. 266 00:11:43,500 --> 00:11:46,330 And not the P.M. kind, just the regular kind. 267 00:11:46,340 --> 00:11:47,900 Oh, and don't get the caplets, 268 00:11:47,900 --> 00:11:50,540 get the tablets with the special coating. 269 00:11:50,540 --> 00:11:52,010 Agh. 270 00:11:57,250 --> 00:12:00,450 Touche, system. 271 00:12:03,750 --> 00:12:05,820 No, you're not listening to me. 272 00:12:05,820 --> 00:12:08,290 I just think that people would prefer a buffet. 273 00:12:08,290 --> 00:12:10,290 People lining up with plates? 274 00:12:10,290 --> 00:12:12,430 - What is wrong with that? - Oh, nothing at all. 275 00:12:12,430 --> 00:12:14,460 Perhaps after chow time, we can give the guests 276 00:12:14,460 --> 00:12:16,200 ten minutes to lift weights in the yard. 277 00:12:18,030 --> 00:12:21,300 Jeez, I should've hired cardboard Timmy. 278 00:12:23,670 --> 00:12:26,640 Oh! And now I've got an oompa-loompa. 279 00:12:26,640 --> 00:12:29,210 You mean a hard worker with a solid base tan 280 00:12:29,210 --> 00:12:31,450 and a talent for improvisational song? 281 00:12:31,450 --> 00:12:33,350 Guilty! 282 00:12:33,350 --> 00:12:34,620 Ah, there you are. 283 00:12:34,620 --> 00:12:37,550 I knew that wasn't you at your desk. 284 00:12:37,550 --> 00:12:39,550 But you weren't completely certain 285 00:12:39,560 --> 00:12:41,060 until you saw me sitting here. 286 00:12:41,060 --> 00:12:42,820 Savvy detective work, sir. 287 00:12:42,830 --> 00:12:44,360 What are you doing here anyway? 288 00:12:44,360 --> 00:12:46,430 Helping Jennifer plan her wedding. 289 00:12:46,430 --> 00:12:48,900 That's why you left in the middle of the day for? 290 00:12:48,900 --> 00:12:51,300 Unprofessional. 291 00:12:51,300 --> 00:12:52,670 All right, let's go. 292 00:12:52,670 --> 00:12:53,970 You gotta come to the club with me 293 00:12:53,970 --> 00:12:57,740 and be my weiner blocker blocker. 294 00:12:57,740 --> 00:13:00,410 As soul-enriching as that sounds, 295 00:13:00,410 --> 00:13:02,910 I'll meet you there once I'm done here. 296 00:13:02,910 --> 00:13:05,150 I'll just wait. 297 00:13:05,150 --> 00:13:07,420 All right... why don't you guys just go ahead? 298 00:13:07,420 --> 00:13:08,920 I got it from here, Timmy. 299 00:13:08,920 --> 00:13:09,980 All due respect, 300 00:13:09,990 --> 00:13:12,390 I don't think that you do "got it." 301 00:13:12,390 --> 00:13:14,560 Just moments ago, you suggested we hire a dj 302 00:13:14,560 --> 00:13:16,590 who calls himself "vinyl Richie." 303 00:13:17,660 --> 00:13:20,700 Dj p.U. 304 00:13:20,700 --> 00:13:23,770 And what exactly would you know 305 00:13:23,770 --> 00:13:25,270 about putting on a wedding? 306 00:13:25,270 --> 00:13:27,970 Both of my parents have been married numerous times, 307 00:13:27,970 --> 00:13:30,240 often I was invited. 308 00:13:30,240 --> 00:13:33,480 What this wedding needs is a photo booth. 309 00:13:33,480 --> 00:13:35,040 Might that not be a bit cheesy? 310 00:13:35,040 --> 00:13:37,080 Not cheesy, Tim. Whimsical. 311 00:13:37,080 --> 00:13:38,680 People like a nice memento. 312 00:13:38,680 --> 00:13:40,010 Does anyone care what I think? 313 00:13:40,020 --> 00:13:41,820 Maybe you're right about that photo booth. 314 00:13:41,820 --> 00:13:43,590 It could go right next to the bar. 315 00:13:43,590 --> 00:13:45,350 Right, then the girls can get all liquored up, 316 00:13:45,350 --> 00:13:47,460 then increasing our chances of nip slips. 317 00:13:47,460 --> 00:13:48,760 Now let's talk centerpieces. 318 00:13:48,760 --> 00:13:51,990 - Good, I'm thinking... - Origami! 319 00:13:53,860 --> 00:13:55,430 Forget it. 320 00:13:55,430 --> 00:13:57,070 Jen, wait. 321 00:13:57,070 --> 00:13:58,970 I heard you when you asked if we cared what you thought. 322 00:13:58,970 --> 00:14:01,370 - You did? - Yeah, and we don't. 323 00:14:11,950 --> 00:14:14,150 Hey, Jeff. I thought that was you. 324 00:14:14,150 --> 00:14:15,620 - Hey, buddy. - Hey, man. 325 00:14:15,620 --> 00:14:17,850 Um... 326 00:14:17,850 --> 00:14:20,560 I don't think you're allowed to drink in here. 327 00:14:20,560 --> 00:14:22,390 I know, I'm hoping to get arrested 328 00:14:22,390 --> 00:14:25,030 so I don't have to go home. 329 00:14:25,030 --> 00:14:28,500 But I'll tell you, having your wife bring home a lesbian 330 00:14:28,500 --> 00:14:32,400 does not play out the way cinemax would have you believe. 331 00:14:32,400 --> 00:14:34,040 I don't really wanna go home either. 332 00:14:34,040 --> 00:14:36,170 I mean, Timmy and Jen are planning our wedding 333 00:14:36,170 --> 00:14:38,240 and ignoring me. 334 00:14:38,240 --> 00:14:40,910 No petting zoo? 335 00:14:40,910 --> 00:14:44,380 It's not looking good. 336 00:14:44,380 --> 00:14:46,050 Anyways, Audrey wants ibuprofen 337 00:14:46,050 --> 00:14:47,050 with the special coating. 338 00:14:47,050 --> 00:14:49,280 God forbid her majesty, the queen, 339 00:14:49,290 --> 00:14:52,290 has to choke down a chalky tablet. 340 00:14:52,290 --> 00:14:55,060 But why don't you buy her the wrong thing? 341 00:14:55,060 --> 00:14:56,120 That's what I do. 342 00:14:56,130 --> 00:14:58,890 Why? 343 00:14:58,890 --> 00:15:01,460 Well... 344 00:15:01,460 --> 00:15:03,100 When Jen's in a bad mood 345 00:15:03,100 --> 00:15:04,800 and I bring home the wrong thing, 346 00:15:04,800 --> 00:15:07,400 she sends me back out to get her the right thing. 347 00:15:07,400 --> 00:15:11,310 Which means I get twice as much time away from home. 348 00:15:11,310 --> 00:15:15,240 Your brain came up with that? 349 00:15:15,240 --> 00:15:16,610 Yes, I know. 350 00:15:16,610 --> 00:15:19,780 That could work. All right. 351 00:15:19,780 --> 00:15:23,080 Adios, fancy coating. We shall meet again. 352 00:15:23,090 --> 00:15:24,290 That's a good idea, pal. 353 00:15:24,290 --> 00:15:27,190 Smart. Thank you. 354 00:15:27,190 --> 00:15:30,060 You know, I did it accidentally a few times 355 00:15:30,060 --> 00:15:33,760 before I realized that I could do it on purpose. 356 00:15:33,760 --> 00:15:35,230 It started when Jen... Listen, 357 00:15:35,230 --> 00:15:36,760 I said that it was a good idea. 358 00:15:36,770 --> 00:15:39,530 I don't need all the DVD extras. 359 00:15:41,570 --> 00:15:43,710 For napkin colors, we had a tough time choosing 360 00:15:43,710 --> 00:15:45,840 between fuchsia kiss... Or foxy pink. 361 00:15:45,840 --> 00:15:47,440 - But... - Timmy pointed out 362 00:15:47,440 --> 00:15:49,510 that foxy pink will really make the flowers 363 00:15:49,510 --> 00:15:50,950 in the table lamps pop. 364 00:15:50,950 --> 00:15:52,450 To which, Mr. dunbar agreed... 365 00:15:52,450 --> 00:15:53,650 After first pantomiming me 366 00:15:53,650 --> 00:15:55,420 in a spirited sexual act with a man. 367 00:15:55,420 --> 00:15:56,990 Right. And for dessert, 368 00:15:56,990 --> 00:15:58,490 we went a little bit outside the box 369 00:15:58,490 --> 00:16:00,320 with a cupcake tower. Mm. 370 00:16:00,320 --> 00:16:02,220 Just the right level of playful festivity, we think. 371 00:16:02,220 --> 00:16:05,160 And in that same spirit, we revisited your '80s dj idea. 372 00:16:05,160 --> 00:16:08,000 Yes, the '80s being the decade just after the decade 373 00:16:08,000 --> 00:16:10,730 in which Mr. dunbar's haircut was last considered stylish. 374 00:16:10,730 --> 00:16:13,430 Mm, it's not current, but I do get tons. 375 00:16:15,170 --> 00:16:17,970 And that's our presentation. 376 00:16:17,970 --> 00:16:19,470 Wow. 377 00:16:19,480 --> 00:16:21,740 Uh, it's not really what I imagined. 378 00:16:21,740 --> 00:16:24,950 But I love it! I wouldn't change a thing. 379 00:16:24,950 --> 00:16:25,980 Well, we aim to please. 380 00:16:25,980 --> 00:16:27,620 How much is it gonna cost? 381 00:16:27,620 --> 00:16:28,880 Ah. 382 00:16:28,880 --> 00:16:32,020 Here's where the software can be so helpful. 383 00:16:32,020 --> 00:16:34,660 And the grand total comes to... 384 00:16:34,660 --> 00:16:37,860 $360,000. 385 00:16:42,900 --> 00:16:46,100 We'll see ourselves out. 386 00:16:49,770 --> 00:16:52,370 got your stuff. What took you so long? 387 00:16:52,370 --> 00:16:54,280 What, are you waiting for it to go on sale? 388 00:16:54,280 --> 00:16:55,780 Or did the manager think you were trying 389 00:16:55,780 --> 00:16:59,150 to smuggle out a ham in your giant head? 390 00:16:59,150 --> 00:17:03,450 There's my girls. 391 00:17:03,450 --> 00:17:06,620 Can I have the ibuprofen? 392 00:17:08,890 --> 00:17:10,690 Something wrong? 393 00:17:10,690 --> 00:17:12,130 These are gel caps. 394 00:17:12,130 --> 00:17:14,560 I specifically asked for tablets. 395 00:17:14,560 --> 00:17:15,730 What? 396 00:17:15,730 --> 00:17:18,230 I'm such an idiot! 397 00:17:18,230 --> 00:17:20,870 Come on, Jeff, be better. 398 00:17:20,870 --> 00:17:23,500 See, this is why I like girls, 399 00:17:23,510 --> 00:17:26,070 they actually listen. 400 00:17:26,080 --> 00:17:28,780 God, your head is upsetting. 401 00:17:28,780 --> 00:17:30,850 You okay? 402 00:17:30,850 --> 00:17:33,820 I will be... 403 00:17:33,820 --> 00:17:38,320 Once I have some nachos. Another batch? 404 00:17:38,320 --> 00:17:41,260 Okay. I can grate some more cheese. 405 00:17:41,260 --> 00:17:43,520 Ooh, and this time, can you just make sure all... 406 00:17:43,530 --> 00:17:46,760 Yes, I will make sure every chip has full coverage. 407 00:17:48,200 --> 00:17:50,130 - Here. Okay. - Where are...? 408 00:17:50,130 --> 00:17:52,030 I'd love to stay and help, but I gotta make this right. 409 00:17:52,030 --> 00:17:53,230 No, no, no. That's fine. 410 00:17:53,240 --> 00:17:54,540 I'll just take those, it doesn't... 411 00:17:54,540 --> 00:17:56,040 No, no. No you will not. 412 00:17:56,040 --> 00:17:58,270 I don't care how many times I have to go back to the store. 413 00:17:58,270 --> 00:18:01,510 No wife of mine gets caplets when she wanted tablets. 414 00:18:12,720 --> 00:18:14,120 Oh, well... 415 00:18:14,120 --> 00:18:16,820 Hello, miss-Adam- doesn't-have-any-good-ideas. 416 00:18:16,830 --> 00:18:20,560 Soon to be Mrs. Adam-doesn't- have-any-good-ideas. 417 00:18:20,560 --> 00:18:23,060 Oh, yeah? Well, for your information, 418 00:18:23,070 --> 00:18:24,630 my ideas are pretty good. 419 00:18:24,630 --> 00:18:27,140 Jeff finally listened to one and he loved it. 420 00:18:27,140 --> 00:18:28,570 Ah, what was it? 421 00:18:28,570 --> 00:18:31,070 Well, I told him how when you're driving me crazy 422 00:18:31,070 --> 00:18:32,140 and I don't wanna go home, 423 00:18:32,140 --> 00:18:35,110 I purposely buy you the wrong thing 424 00:18:35,110 --> 00:18:38,380 so I have to go back and get you the right thing. 425 00:18:40,550 --> 00:18:43,750 Oh, wait. 426 00:18:57,230 --> 00:19:00,030 - I knew it. - Listen, Jenkins, 427 00:19:00,040 --> 00:19:02,040 you gotta work this out with Anderson. 428 00:19:02,040 --> 00:19:05,910 I gotta get home to my wife. 429 00:19:05,910 --> 00:19:09,180 This may be a while. Put the phone down, Jeff. 430 00:19:11,050 --> 00:19:13,580 How did you find me? 431 00:19:13,580 --> 00:19:16,480 Well, it was either here or the diner. 432 00:19:16,490 --> 00:19:20,660 You're not the man of mystery you seem to think you are. 433 00:19:20,660 --> 00:19:22,560 Why are you being such a jackass? 434 00:19:22,560 --> 00:19:25,760 The usual reasons. 435 00:19:25,760 --> 00:19:28,330 I got you your ibuprofen. 436 00:19:28,330 --> 00:19:31,270 Gel caps? I asked for gel tabs. 437 00:19:31,270 --> 00:19:33,470 So stupid! 438 00:19:33,470 --> 00:19:36,570 I'll be right back. 439 00:19:36,570 --> 00:19:39,510 You know, you can't avoid going home for nine months. 440 00:19:39,510 --> 00:19:42,310 What is your problem? 441 00:19:42,310 --> 00:19:43,610 I thought having a surrogate 442 00:19:43,610 --> 00:19:44,980 was gonna make everything easier. 443 00:19:44,980 --> 00:19:47,180 But Brenda turned into the creature from alien, 444 00:19:47,180 --> 00:19:49,280 and you turned into the baby alien 445 00:19:49,280 --> 00:19:51,050 that came out of the big alien's mouth 446 00:19:51,050 --> 00:19:54,320 and hissed at sigourney Weaver. 447 00:19:55,990 --> 00:19:58,060 I know, it's harder than I expected too. 448 00:19:58,060 --> 00:19:59,290 - Yeah? - Yeah. 449 00:19:59,290 --> 00:20:00,730 But we just have to remember that 450 00:20:00,730 --> 00:20:04,000 at the end of all this, we get a baby. 451 00:20:05,130 --> 00:20:07,470 And then it gets easy, right? 452 00:20:07,470 --> 00:20:09,040 Yeah, of course. 453 00:20:09,040 --> 00:20:10,910 Okay, let's go home. 454 00:20:10,910 --> 00:20:12,910 And I'll help you take care of Brenda. 455 00:20:12,910 --> 00:20:14,210 Um, yeah, actually, 456 00:20:14,210 --> 00:20:16,240 we don't have to go home right away. 457 00:20:16,250 --> 00:20:20,350 - No? - No. 458 00:20:20,350 --> 00:20:21,650 Yeah, part of the reason I came here 459 00:20:21,650 --> 00:20:24,390 is I needed a break from Brenda. 460 00:20:24,390 --> 00:20:25,620 Becoming a bit much. 461 00:20:25,620 --> 00:20:28,160 Oh, which reminds me... We have to stop by the store 462 00:20:28,160 --> 00:20:30,160 and pick-up some more tortilla chips and cheese. 463 00:20:30,160 --> 00:20:31,590 What kind of cheese does she want? 464 00:20:31,590 --> 00:20:33,530 - Cheddar. - We're getting jarlsberg. 465 00:20:33,530 --> 00:20:35,800 - Why? - You'll see. 466 00:20:39,000 --> 00:20:40,440 Hey, Tim... 467 00:20:40,440 --> 00:20:44,010 Wanna go grab some lunch? 468 00:20:44,010 --> 00:20:45,370 Oh, I'm sorry. 469 00:20:45,370 --> 00:20:46,680 I didn't realize you were on the phone. 470 00:20:46,680 --> 00:20:49,880 I'll go ask Russell. 471 00:20:51,310 --> 00:20:52,950 Hey, Russell, you wanna... 472 00:20:52,950 --> 00:20:54,880 Oh. 473 00:20:54,880 --> 00:20:57,820 I'm sorry, I didn't realize you were napping. 474 00:20:57,820 --> 00:21:01,190 Sync and correction by Mlmlte www.addic7ed.com 475 00:21:01,240 --> 00:21:05,790 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 34235

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