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1
00:00:04,412 --> 00:00:06,779
Hey. I thought
you left for work.
2
00:00:06,815 --> 00:00:09,115
I'm going in late today.
I got to stop by the pot shop
3
00:00:09,150 --> 00:00:11,217
to go over these P&Ls with Ryan.
4
00:00:11,252 --> 00:00:14,053
I always forget that place
is just like any other business.
5
00:00:14,089 --> 00:00:16,689
Yeah, I get reminded of that
when I see that Purple Urkel
6
00:00:16,725 --> 00:00:20,526
is outselling Hawaii Five-Yo.
7
00:00:20,562 --> 00:00:22,862
I remember
when it was all just called
8
00:00:22,897 --> 00:00:25,531
"whatever Jill's boyfriend has."
9
00:00:25,567 --> 00:00:28,468
Uh, so you will like this:
10
00:00:28,503 --> 00:00:31,304
Mandy and Kyle are looking
at apartments today.
11
00:00:31,339 --> 00:00:33,106
You know, they say a man
should never dance
12
00:00:33,141 --> 00:00:37,143
unless he's being shot at,
but this is a special occasion.
13
00:00:40,448 --> 00:00:43,016
Did you hear that?
Like a snap or something.
14
00:00:44,285 --> 00:00:45,718
Dramatic announcement.
15
00:00:45,754 --> 00:00:47,253
We have found the perfect apartment
16
00:00:47,288 --> 00:00:49,122
and are probably moving out.
17
00:00:49,157 --> 00:00:51,424
Darn it.
18
00:00:51,459 --> 00:00:53,159
Hey, cheer up.
This place is close enough
19
00:00:53,194 --> 00:00:54,627
we can still carpool.
20
00:00:54,662 --> 00:00:56,562
D-Darn it.
21
00:00:56,598 --> 00:00:58,798
Well, anyway, I got to get going.
22
00:00:58,833 --> 00:01:00,800
I'm going by the pot shop.
Honey, you need anything?
23
00:01:00,835 --> 00:01:03,236
Tray pack, nickel bag,
anything like that?
24
00:01:03,271 --> 00:01:05,238
I've got, uh, Purple Urkel.
25
00:01:05,273 --> 00:01:08,274
We got Squeeze Top Honey Bear
or, uh, Lazy Susan?
26
00:01:08,309 --> 00:01:10,410
Uh, you're just naming things
that are on the table.
27
00:01:10,445 --> 00:01:13,146
Actually, Squeeze Top Honey Bear
was my college band.
28
00:01:13,181 --> 00:01:16,015
And I have smoked
a lot of Lazy Susan.
29
00:01:17,719 --> 00:01:21,487
So, tell me about this place.
30
00:01:21,523 --> 00:01:23,489
Oh, yeah. Uh, okay,
it's a two-bedroom apartment.
31
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Cranmer Park, south-facing,
central heating, but no pets.
32
00:01:27,529 --> 00:01:29,495
Yeah, it's perfect
except for the no pets.
33
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We were gonna get a cat, because
Kyle has a laser pointer.
34
00:01:32,367 --> 00:01:34,500
Pew, pew, pew, pew,
pew, pew, pew, pew!
35
00:01:36,905 --> 00:01:41,107
Uh, well, is there parking?
Does it cost extra?
36
00:01:41,142 --> 00:01:44,510
Mm, don't know, don't care.
There's a shared hot tub.
37
00:01:44,546 --> 00:01:46,546
Okay, uh, you know what?
Maybe I should go with you guys.
38
00:01:46,581 --> 00:01:48,114
It might be good to have
someone with experience
39
00:01:48,149 --> 00:01:49,682
to help guide you along.
40
00:01:49,717 --> 00:01:52,018
Oh, cooking classes
and helping with apartments.
41
00:01:52,053 --> 00:01:54,887
You're the best mom I've ever had.
42
00:01:54,923 --> 00:01:56,689
Well, your dad and I
have shopped for our share
43
00:01:56,724 --> 00:01:59,058
of apartments, so I do know
the do's and don'ts.
44
00:01:59,094 --> 00:02:02,228
Like do examine the bathroom,
don't use the bathroom.
45
00:02:03,498 --> 00:02:06,466
Okay, I'll be right back.
46
00:02:06,501 --> 00:02:09,501
Synced and corrected by Katniss Everdeen
www.addic7ed.com
47
00:02:13,341 --> 00:02:15,508
I loved everything about that place.
48
00:02:15,543 --> 00:02:17,376
The closets, the porch...
49
00:02:17,412 --> 00:02:19,011
Yeah, and that-that little
hidden ironing board
50
00:02:19,047 --> 00:02:21,247
that comes right out of the wall?
51
00:02:21,282 --> 00:02:24,750
Probably from a time
when ironing was illegal.
52
00:02:27,255 --> 00:02:31,757
You're moving out? Is this house
too beautiful and free for you?
53
00:02:31,793 --> 00:02:33,893
Uh, well, they filled in
an application,
54
00:02:33,928 --> 00:02:35,895
but there were a lot
of other people looking,
55
00:02:35,930 --> 00:02:37,763
so we're-we're not gonna
get our hopes up.
56
00:02:37,799 --> 00:02:39,499
Well, yeah,
but the guy really liked us.
57
00:02:39,534 --> 00:02:41,234
And he laughed so hard
when Kyle asked
58
00:02:41,269 --> 00:02:44,370
why there was a diving board
coming out of the wall.
59
00:02:45,573 --> 00:02:49,242
Yeah, it was a funny joke by me.
60
00:02:49,277 --> 00:02:50,910
I bet everyone who lives there
61
00:02:50,945 --> 00:02:53,446
will call you
that cool young couple upstairs.
62
00:02:53,481 --> 00:02:55,581
No, they'll-they'll
know our names, Jen.
63
00:02:55,617 --> 00:02:57,350
They'll be right there
on the mailbox.
64
00:02:57,385 --> 00:03:00,753
Sorry, gender-neutral box.
65
00:03:00,788 --> 00:03:02,855
And I'm so glad you came along, Mom.
66
00:03:02,891 --> 00:03:05,291
I didn't realize there were
so many things to ask about.
67
00:03:05,326 --> 00:03:07,693
Well, it's important to know
if there's a diner nearby.
68
00:03:07,729 --> 00:03:10,763
Does the Thai place deliver?
Is the Italian any good?
69
00:03:10,798 --> 00:03:13,799
Yeah, I-I guess I should
have eaten before we went.
70
00:03:13,835 --> 00:03:16,435
Well, now that we know what
we need in the new place,
71
00:03:16,471 --> 00:03:17,904
let's go sort through
our wedding gifts.
72
00:03:17,939 --> 00:03:21,140
Oh. I hope no one gave us food.
73
00:03:23,645 --> 00:03:26,412
Congratulations, you found
your daughter a beautiful home.
74
00:03:26,447 --> 00:03:29,682
The place she will care for you
when you are dying.
75
00:03:31,119 --> 00:03:33,753
Well, it was nice,
but not deathbed nice.
76
00:03:33,788 --> 00:03:36,956
Mandy and Kyle have never looked
for an apartment before.
77
00:03:36,991 --> 00:03:39,392
They were only paying attention
to the good things.
78
00:03:39,427 --> 00:03:42,562
Oh, what a horrible way
to look at life.
79
00:03:47,635 --> 00:03:50,603
Hello? Oh, yes,
I'm their reference.
80
00:03:50,638 --> 00:03:53,005
Sure, I'd be happy
to answer any questions.
81
00:03:53,041 --> 00:03:55,474
Uh, but, uh, let me just ask you
a quick thing first.
82
00:03:55,510 --> 00:03:58,077
Uh, the back staircase is rickety.
83
00:03:58,112 --> 00:04:00,746
I'm sure you have plans
to rebuild it. Oh, no.
84
00:04:00,782 --> 00:04:02,782
No, no, that is your responsibility.
85
00:04:02,817 --> 00:04:04,951
Oh, and the lights flicker.
86
00:04:04,986 --> 00:04:06,652
You'll need to have
the wiring checked
87
00:04:06,688 --> 00:04:08,921
and-and possibly replaced. Hmm?
88
00:04:08,957 --> 00:04:10,323
Does-doesn't even make sense.
89
00:04:10,358 --> 00:04:13,159
Why would I have my wiring checked?
90
00:04:13,194 --> 00:04:16,162
Hello? Hello?
91
00:04:16,197 --> 00:04:19,865
Oh. Hung up.
92
00:04:19,901 --> 00:04:22,101
Well, that may not hurt
their chances.
93
00:04:22,136 --> 00:04:23,869
Maybe everybody else's reference
comes off
94
00:04:23,905 --> 00:04:26,539
like an injury attorney.
95
00:04:26,574 --> 00:04:30,610
I was only asking
the questions they didn't.
96
00:04:30,645 --> 00:04:32,445
Look, if the landlord
can't handle those,
97
00:04:32,480 --> 00:04:35,014
then he's not someone
you want to rent from.
98
00:04:35,049 --> 00:04:37,850
Hey, a wedding gift
I completely forgot about.
99
00:04:37,885 --> 00:04:39,819
An iron.
100
00:04:41,322 --> 00:04:43,155
This place is so meant to be.
101
00:04:48,029 --> 00:04:49,695
Let me guess.
102
00:04:49,731 --> 00:04:52,131
Is there a Snoop Dogg concert
tonight?
103
00:04:52,166 --> 00:04:54,867
Uh, there was last week.
They missed it.
104
00:04:54,902 --> 00:04:57,703
I don't have the heart to tell them.
105
00:04:57,739 --> 00:04:59,405
Thanks for coming.
I need your opinion.
106
00:04:59,440 --> 00:05:02,041
Who doesn't?
So what's on your mind?
107
00:05:02,076 --> 00:05:04,010
Well, you saw in the P&L statement
108
00:05:04,045 --> 00:05:05,745
that Bud's Buds
is having a good year.
109
00:05:05,780 --> 00:05:07,179
- Yeah, congratulations.
- Thank you.
110
00:05:07,215 --> 00:05:09,715
And I have an idea
on what to do with the profits.
111
00:05:09,751 --> 00:05:11,384
Oh, boy, here we go.
112
00:05:11,419 --> 00:05:13,586
What's on your mind, comrade?
113
00:05:13,621 --> 00:05:15,588
I want to renovate
the upstairs storage area
114
00:05:15,623 --> 00:05:17,723
and turn it into more retail space.
115
00:05:17,759 --> 00:05:20,159
Wait just a minute.
116
00:05:20,194 --> 00:05:21,994
That's not a dumb idea.
117
00:05:22,030 --> 00:05:25,398
- I know.
- No, I was expecting a dumb idea.
118
00:05:25,433 --> 00:05:27,867
- I know. Surprise.
- Wait.
119
00:05:27,902 --> 00:05:29,835
Let me get my head around this.
120
00:05:29,871 --> 00:05:31,837
You want to take your profits
121
00:05:31,873 --> 00:05:34,440
and pour them back
into your business to expand.
122
00:05:34,475 --> 00:05:37,343
There's a word for that.
123
00:05:37,378 --> 00:05:38,744
Capitalism.
124
00:05:38,780 --> 00:05:43,115
Which makes you a capitalist.
125
00:05:43,151 --> 00:05:45,117
- No. That makes me a businessman.
- Yeah.
126
00:05:45,153 --> 00:05:46,552
- Mm-mm.
- And-and not all businessmen...
127
00:05:46,587 --> 00:05:48,187
I am a good person.
128
00:05:48,222 --> 00:05:50,923
Yeah. But in time,
you'll be wearing a monocle
129
00:05:50,958 --> 00:05:53,793
and one of those big stove pipe hats.
130
00:05:53,828 --> 00:05:56,195
O-Okay.
But by growing the business,
131
00:05:56,230 --> 00:05:57,697
I am creating more jobs,
132
00:05:57,732 --> 00:05:59,765
which helps my employees
and the community.
133
00:05:59,801 --> 00:06:01,634
Hmm. You know what
I'm hearing right now?
134
00:06:01,669 --> 00:06:04,270
"Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah,
capitalist."
135
00:06:04,305 --> 00:06:06,906
You know, "sorry about the mess,
136
00:06:06,941 --> 00:06:11,377
"but the maid died carrying all
my gold bricks into the parlor.
137
00:06:11,412 --> 00:06:13,546
"Why don't you stop by for a game
138
00:06:13,581 --> 00:06:15,481
- "of gin rummy at the club?
- Okay.
139
00:06:15,516 --> 00:06:17,316
"We'll have some, uh, lime rickeys
140
00:06:17,352 --> 00:06:18,984
"or a gin and tonic.
141
00:06:19,020 --> 00:06:21,854
Ta-ta, everybody!"
142
00:06:25,760 --> 00:06:27,493
No. No, no,
that was definitely mold.
143
00:06:27,528 --> 00:06:29,995
Yeah, as a matter of fact,
I am a scientist,
144
00:06:30,031 --> 00:06:31,931
which brings me to the calcium
buildup in your pipe.
145
00:06:31,966 --> 00:06:35,067
H-Hello? Hello? Hello?
146
00:06:35,103 --> 00:06:37,269
I wonder if landlords have
a message board
147
00:06:37,305 --> 00:06:39,171
where they talk about you.
148
00:06:39,207 --> 00:06:42,475
I was just raising
legitimate safety concerns.
149
00:06:42,510 --> 00:06:44,110
I see.
150
00:06:44,145 --> 00:06:47,747
Did you know, in the 1800s,
French workers disrupted
151
00:06:47,782 --> 00:06:50,916
their own factories
to undermine their bosses?
152
00:06:50,952 --> 00:06:54,320
These workers wore wooden shoes
called sabots,
153
00:06:54,355 --> 00:06:59,792
which is how we got
the word "sabotage."
154
00:07:01,329 --> 00:07:03,129
I see what you're getting at.
155
00:07:03,164 --> 00:07:04,964
And what I was doing
was not sabotage.
156
00:07:04,999 --> 00:07:07,666
I was simply looking out
for my daughter.
157
00:07:07,702 --> 00:07:09,468
Of course, Vanessa.
158
00:07:09,504 --> 00:07:12,938
And I was just simply sharing an
interesting fact from history.
159
00:07:12,974 --> 00:07:16,142
- Sabotage.
- Hey.
160
00:07:16,177 --> 00:07:18,344
Oh, hey.
161
00:07:18,379 --> 00:07:21,881
Uh, so, um,
how's the apartment hunt going?
162
00:07:21,916 --> 00:07:23,516
It's going bad. "Badly"?
163
00:07:23,551 --> 00:07:25,351
It's going terrible. "Terribly"?
164
00:07:25,386 --> 00:07:26,786
It ain't good.
165
00:07:26,821 --> 00:07:28,654
Yeah.
166
00:07:28,689 --> 00:07:30,856
We got rejected
from every place we applied.
167
00:07:30,892 --> 00:07:32,892
Oh. Really? Shoot.
168
00:07:32,927 --> 00:07:36,796
Shoot, shoot, shoot, shoot.
169
00:07:36,831 --> 00:07:38,297
Yeah, at first,
I thought it was my fault.
170
00:07:38,332 --> 00:07:41,300
You know, people find goatees
untrustworthy.
171
00:07:41,335 --> 00:07:44,737
Thanks a lot, Disney villains
and every picture of the devil.
172
00:07:44,772 --> 00:07:48,174
But then we were like, "No,
something else is going on."
173
00:07:48,209 --> 00:07:50,209
And that's when we figured it out.
174
00:07:50,244 --> 00:07:52,044
Did you know, in the 1800s,
French work...
175
00:07:52,079 --> 00:07:54,146
Nobody likes history, Jen.
176
00:07:54,182 --> 00:07:56,649
See, we were only looking
at really nice apartments.
177
00:07:56,684 --> 00:07:59,351
Places with amenities
like a doorman or a gym.
178
00:07:59,387 --> 00:08:00,986
Or a doorman named Jim.
179
00:08:01,022 --> 00:08:03,689
Uh, and these places were desirable,
180
00:08:03,724 --> 00:08:05,825
so of course they were going
to be super competitive.
181
00:08:05,860 --> 00:08:09,929
But what we need is a place
that's less desirable.
182
00:08:09,964 --> 00:08:12,565
- What? No, w-wait. No, no, no.
- So we went to look
183
00:08:12,600 --> 00:08:14,567
at these apartments, and guess what.
184
00:08:14,602 --> 00:08:17,603
They were super excited to take
our application.
185
00:08:17,638 --> 00:08:20,940
Yeah, honey, that-that's because
these places are all dumps.
186
00:08:20,975 --> 00:08:23,576
Yes, exactly. Which means
they won't turn us down.
187
00:08:23,611 --> 00:08:25,010
I-I think some
of these apartments
188
00:08:25,046 --> 00:08:27,012
even rent by the hour.
189
00:08:27,048 --> 00:08:28,881
Mom, this is just a starter place.
190
00:08:28,916 --> 00:08:31,050
How long do you think
we'll actually be there?
191
00:08:31,085 --> 00:08:33,219
Three, four thousand hours?
192
00:08:33,254 --> 00:08:34,787
All right. Come on, Mandy.
193
00:08:34,822 --> 00:08:36,755
We should keep looking
while it's still light.
194
00:08:36,791 --> 00:08:39,558
We do not want to be in those
neighborhoods after dark.
195
00:08:42,063 --> 00:08:44,430
I got to make some calls.
196
00:08:44,465 --> 00:08:46,632
This is happening over my dead body.
197
00:08:46,667 --> 00:08:48,667
And these are the stories
my father doesn't believe
198
00:08:48,669 --> 00:08:51,237
when I write home.
199
00:08:58,367 --> 00:09:00,701
Hello, Mother.
200
00:09:00,736 --> 00:09:05,139
Mother. It's never good
when they use your full name.
201
00:09:05,174 --> 00:09:07,508
You stabbed me in the back.
202
00:09:07,543 --> 00:09:09,343
You called every one
of those landlords
203
00:09:09,378 --> 00:09:11,211
and complained about how
everything had broken down.
204
00:09:11,247 --> 00:09:14,081
Dad's got a bum knee,
you gonna throw him out, too?
205
00:09:14,116 --> 00:09:16,316
No, honey. No, I'm sorry.
Look, I-I just didn't want
206
00:09:16,352 --> 00:09:18,986
your apartment hunt to turn
into another pork chop incident.
207
00:09:19,021 --> 00:09:20,688
How dare you throw
that back in my face.
208
00:09:20,723 --> 00:09:22,656
You know it's where
it hit me the first time.
209
00:09:22,692 --> 00:09:24,825
Mandy, Mandy, wait, I just...
210
00:09:24,860 --> 00:09:26,927
I-I just want you
and Kyle to be safe.
211
00:09:26,962 --> 00:09:29,563
Yeah, Mom, that's not your job.
I'm not a little girl anymore.
212
00:09:29,598 --> 00:09:32,766
My God, I am six feet tall.
213
00:09:32,802 --> 00:09:34,601
Yeah, I know. I know,
and at that last place,
214
00:09:34,637 --> 00:09:36,170
if I hadn't stopped you,
that ceiling fan
215
00:09:36,205 --> 00:09:38,439
would've chopped your head right off.
216
00:09:38,474 --> 00:09:41,075
You think Kyle and I can't
get by without you and Dad.
217
00:09:41,110 --> 00:09:42,743
- No, that's not it. No...
- Yes, it is, yes.
218
00:09:42,778 --> 00:09:44,378
Y-You think that we're just
these helpless,
219
00:09:44,413 --> 00:09:47,014
- pathetic, beautiful children.
- Mandy.
220
00:09:47,049 --> 00:09:48,749
Honey, no, I know
you're not children.
221
00:09:48,784 --> 00:09:50,184
Then stop treating us like one.
222
00:09:50,219 --> 00:09:52,186
Like two. Like both?
223
00:09:52,221 --> 00:09:55,055
We ain't children.
224
00:09:57,226 --> 00:09:58,792
Thanks for the chat, Mike.
225
00:09:58,828 --> 00:10:01,595
This is A.A.6.R.A.
Clear in seven three.
226
00:10:01,630 --> 00:10:05,065
This is K.A.0.X.T.T.
Seven three.
227
00:10:06,268 --> 00:10:07,634
Oh, look at that.
228
00:10:07,670 --> 00:10:09,303
My favorite capitalist.
229
00:10:11,340 --> 00:10:15,075
Nice boots. Perfect for jumping
on the back of the proletariat.
230
00:10:17,012 --> 00:10:19,413
They're fair trade
faux leather boots, Mike.
231
00:10:19,448 --> 00:10:21,615
And unlike your comments,
cruelty-free.
232
00:10:23,586 --> 00:10:26,487
- Can we talk business now?
- Yep, time is money, and I know
233
00:10:26,522 --> 00:10:30,324
- how you love money.
- Can you just sign these papers?
234
00:10:30,359 --> 00:10:32,493
I need your authorizations
on the applications.
235
00:10:32,528 --> 00:10:34,568
- I already signed these.
- No. These are different.
236
00:10:34,597 --> 00:10:37,231
You signed the authorizations
to get the applications.
237
00:10:37,266 --> 00:10:38,632
These are supplemental clearances
238
00:10:38,667 --> 00:10:40,901
specific to marijuana businesses.
239
00:10:40,936 --> 00:10:42,903
Boy, what a headache.
240
00:10:42,938 --> 00:10:45,672
But I'm sure you've got
a product for that.
241
00:10:47,309 --> 00:10:50,644
I'm drowning in codes
and regulations and ordinances.
242
00:10:50,679 --> 00:10:53,147
Not to mention
all-all these fees.
243
00:10:53,182 --> 00:10:55,315
Yeah. I know, it's ridiculous.
I mean, how does the government
244
00:10:55,351 --> 00:10:57,351
think they know more
about my business than I do?
245
00:11:00,456 --> 00:11:04,024
I think what you're asking for
is smaller government.
246
00:11:05,528 --> 00:11:07,961
No. I just want less red tape.
247
00:11:07,997 --> 00:11:11,131
Like I said, smaller government.
248
00:11:11,167 --> 00:11:14,501
- Huh? Ah? Ah?
- No, I...
249
00:11:14,537 --> 00:11:16,804
Huh?
250
00:11:16,839 --> 00:11:18,839
Damn it.
251
00:11:18,874 --> 00:11:21,041
Surprise!
252
00:11:21,076 --> 00:11:23,277
Listen.
First, you're a capitalist.
253
00:11:23,312 --> 00:11:25,445
Now you're griping
about government overreach.
254
00:11:25,481 --> 00:11:28,549
Pretty soon, you'll be invited
to a little party.
255
00:11:28,584 --> 00:11:30,818
Don't say it.
256
00:11:30,853 --> 00:11:32,486
The mascot's an elephant.
257
00:11:32,521 --> 00:11:35,322
Oh, my God.
258
00:11:35,357 --> 00:11:37,624
Hey, babe. What?
We going to lunch?
259
00:11:37,660 --> 00:11:40,160
Oh, and have people
wait on us? No!
260
00:11:42,231 --> 00:11:43,463
Are you having fun?
261
00:11:43,499 --> 00:11:46,800
More fun than playing polo
and slapping the help.
262
00:11:46,836 --> 00:11:49,636
Thank you for bringing
my lunch, dolly.
263
00:11:49,672 --> 00:11:51,572
Mm-hmm. You know, uh,
264
00:11:51,607 --> 00:11:54,908
this is really torturing him.
Can you just cut him a break?
265
00:11:54,944 --> 00:11:56,824
You kidding? He's been
giving me grief for years
266
00:11:56,846 --> 00:11:58,212
for being a corporate monster.
267
00:11:58,247 --> 00:12:03,150
This is payback, with interest,
because I'm a great businessman.
268
00:12:03,185 --> 00:12:05,686
- Exactly. Yes.
- Right, right.
269
00:12:05,721 --> 00:12:08,555
You built Outdoor Man
into a huge chain and...
270
00:12:08,591 --> 00:12:09,990
- Perfect.
- ...never once stopped caring
271
00:12:10,025 --> 00:12:11,658
for every single employee.
272
00:12:11,694 --> 00:12:15,662
You run your business with integrity.
273
00:12:15,698 --> 00:12:17,898
Oh, man.
274
00:12:17,933 --> 00:12:19,233
Going after my ego, aren't you?
275
00:12:19,268 --> 00:12:22,269
- Mm.
- You're out for blood.
276
00:12:24,607 --> 00:12:26,506
You are also a great father
277
00:12:26,542 --> 00:12:28,675
and don't like seeing
your daughter unhappy,
278
00:12:28,711 --> 00:12:30,544
so I know that you'll
do the right thing
279
00:12:30,579 --> 00:12:32,412
and explain to Ryan that he can be
280
00:12:32,448 --> 00:12:34,214
a-a great,
successful businessman
281
00:12:34,250 --> 00:12:37,184
without turning
into the Monopoly guy.
282
00:12:37,219 --> 00:12:39,386
- Hmm?
- Fine.
283
00:12:39,421 --> 00:12:41,088
- I'll tell him.
- Okay.
284
00:12:41,123 --> 00:12:44,057
While I'm hunting humans
on my private island.
285
00:12:45,895 --> 00:12:49,229
Man, the most dangerous prey.
286
00:12:53,569 --> 00:12:55,269
So, I've been thinking about this...
287
00:12:55,304 --> 00:12:57,671
unpleasantness with Mandy.
288
00:12:59,341 --> 00:13:01,408
And I think it's important
to remember
289
00:13:01,443 --> 00:13:03,243
you had good intentions.
290
00:13:03,279 --> 00:13:07,447
Aw, thanks, Jen. I'll, uh...
I'll try to hold on to that.
291
00:13:07,483 --> 00:13:09,783
What I mean is, they say,
292
00:13:09,818 --> 00:13:12,419
"The road to hell
is paved with good intentions."
293
00:13:14,623 --> 00:13:17,090
And they are right.
294
00:13:19,261 --> 00:13:21,495
I love that we are getting
comfortable enough
295
00:13:21,530 --> 00:13:24,498
with each other
that I can tell you to get out.
296
00:13:29,471 --> 00:13:31,638
- Hey, honey.
- Hi, hi.
297
00:13:31,674 --> 00:13:33,440
Mm. How are you doing?
298
00:13:33,475 --> 00:13:35,309
- Not great.
- Oh?
299
00:13:35,344 --> 00:13:37,177
- No. Mm.
- What's up?
300
00:13:37,212 --> 00:13:39,346
Mandy and I had a disagreement.
301
00:13:39,381 --> 00:13:41,281
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I-I did hear about that.
302
00:13:41,317 --> 00:13:44,418
She texted me all about it,
303
00:13:44,453 --> 00:13:48,588
but autocorrect
wouldn't let her swear.
304
00:13:48,624 --> 00:13:50,624
Well, she's overreacting.
305
00:13:50,659 --> 00:13:53,293
I mean, I was being a good mom
by trying to make sure
306
00:13:53,329 --> 00:13:55,195
any place they found was safe.
307
00:13:55,230 --> 00:13:58,532
Jen was just complimenting
my intentions.
308
00:13:58,567 --> 00:14:01,535
Well, we certainly
wouldn't want them moving
309
00:14:01,570 --> 00:14:04,638
into a horrible place
next to a liquor store
310
00:14:04,673 --> 00:14:07,607
with no heat
and bikers living upstairs.
311
00:14:07,643 --> 00:14:11,044
That was our first place.
312
00:14:11,080 --> 00:14:13,180
The one on Leetsdale. Yeah.
313
00:14:13,215 --> 00:14:16,616
An apartment so bad
they gave us a security deposit.
314
00:14:16,652 --> 00:14:20,287
Listen, uh, we liked that place,
at least for one reason, right?
315
00:14:20,322 --> 00:14:21,888
We kept saying to each other,
316
00:14:21,924 --> 00:14:25,192
"We've got to get out
of this place." Right?
317
00:14:25,227 --> 00:14:27,861
Listen, and we did, we got out
of that place, we moved on.
318
00:14:27,896 --> 00:14:30,197
I don't want Mandy living
in a place like that.
319
00:14:30,232 --> 00:14:31,965
I'm not as comfortable as you are
320
00:14:32,001 --> 00:14:33,467
with letting our kids take risks.
321
00:14:33,502 --> 00:14:35,235
I'm not comfortable
with them taking risks,
322
00:14:35,270 --> 00:14:37,738
but that's why we had three.
323
00:14:40,409 --> 00:14:42,309
This is not helping.
324
00:14:42,344 --> 00:14:43,977
Okay. How about this?
325
00:14:44,013 --> 00:14:47,314
Let's say we can find
the safest place in Denver,
326
00:14:47,349 --> 00:14:50,684
I mean 100% safe, even if we had
to kick in some rent.
327
00:14:50,719 --> 00:14:52,519
Well, uh, no, how are we
gonna find that? Uh...
328
00:14:52,554 --> 00:14:54,888
Even if we could do that,
329
00:14:54,923 --> 00:14:58,625
do you think that's the answer
to this problem?
330
00:15:07,420 --> 00:15:09,187
Hey, dude.
331
00:15:09,222 --> 00:15:13,191
Downstairs, they said
the real dope is upstairs.
332
00:15:13,226 --> 00:15:15,760
I think the real dope
just walked in the door. Hey-o!
333
00:15:15,795 --> 00:15:19,230
Listen,
I got a little bad news for you.
334
00:15:19,266 --> 00:15:21,866
Well, I'm already a capitalist
and a Republican.
335
00:15:21,901 --> 00:15:24,836
What, did you found out
that I'm related to Ted Cruz?
336
00:15:24,871 --> 00:15:27,205
He is Canadian.
337
00:15:28,775 --> 00:15:30,408
No, I got a notice from the city,
338
00:15:30,443 --> 00:15:32,243
and your clearances
were rejected. Sorry.
339
00:15:32,279 --> 00:15:33,845
Yeah.
Well, doesn't matter anyway,
340
00:15:33,880 --> 00:15:35,880
because I'd have to do
so many upgrades to comply
341
00:15:35,915 --> 00:15:38,549
with city code that I would
never get any of my money back,
342
00:15:38,585 --> 00:15:40,418
and seeing as how money
is the only thing
343
00:15:40,453 --> 00:15:42,887
that matters to me now,
it's a no-go.
344
00:15:42,922 --> 00:15:44,922
Oh, you're really getting worked
up about this, aren't you?
345
00:15:44,958 --> 00:15:47,225
'Cause I don't know
who I am anymore, Mike.
346
00:15:47,260 --> 00:15:50,028
Right there. Calm down.
347
00:15:50,063 --> 00:15:51,462
I used to care about people, okay?
348
00:15:51,498 --> 00:15:54,265
And now all I care about
is moolah, scratch,
349
00:15:54,301 --> 00:15:56,801
dinero, the cheddar.
350
00:15:56,836 --> 00:15:59,937
You must like it 'cause you got
a lot of pet names for it.
351
00:16:02,075 --> 00:16:04,909
Okay, uh, listen, there might be
another way to go.
352
00:16:04,944 --> 00:16:07,645
You could go ahead
and do the expansion,
353
00:16:07,681 --> 00:16:09,647
and just, uh, take your chances, huh?
354
00:16:09,683 --> 00:16:11,716
No, I can't. That's illegal.
355
00:16:11,751 --> 00:16:14,452
Only if you get caught.
356
00:16:14,487 --> 00:16:16,007
And what's the worst
that could happen?
357
00:16:16,022 --> 00:16:17,955
They would pull my permit
and all my employees
358
00:16:17,991 --> 00:16:20,258
would be out of work,
and I'm not gonna do that.
359
00:16:20,293 --> 00:16:23,594
Because you care about employees.
360
00:16:23,630 --> 00:16:25,630
Yes. You're right. I care.
361
00:16:25,665 --> 00:16:27,732
They're my employees, and I am
gonna take care of them.
362
00:16:27,767 --> 00:16:32,070
So you're not the Monopoly man.
Okay? Not all businessmen are.
363
00:16:32,105 --> 00:16:33,671
You know, it's possible to make money
364
00:16:33,707 --> 00:16:35,773
and still have a conscience.
365
00:16:35,809 --> 00:16:39,844
Yeah, but for so long I thought
the two were mutually exclusive.
366
00:16:39,879 --> 00:16:43,181
That's because for so long
you just had one of those.
367
00:16:44,851 --> 00:16:46,984
Caring only about profits
is the easy way,
368
00:16:47,020 --> 00:16:49,854
but you've never done
anything the easy way.
369
00:16:49,889 --> 00:16:53,091
I think that's a compliment.
370
00:16:53,126 --> 00:16:55,159
Listen, there might be a way
371
00:16:55,195 --> 00:16:58,996
to make money on this space
and still help people.
372
00:16:59,032 --> 00:17:00,598
Okay. How?
373
00:17:00,633 --> 00:17:04,635
Well, this whole block here
is zoned live-work,
374
00:17:04,671 --> 00:17:06,938
and this used to be an apartment.
375
00:17:06,973 --> 00:17:09,374
Do you think someone
wants to live up here?
376
00:17:09,409 --> 00:17:11,042
I think I might know a young couple
377
00:17:11,077 --> 00:17:13,277
that's looking
for a little fixer-upper.
378
00:17:13,313 --> 00:17:15,546
Yeah, well, it would be nice
to do somebody some good.
379
00:17:15,582 --> 00:17:16,948
- Yeah.
- And I could charge
380
00:17:16,983 --> 00:17:18,649
a little bit less
than fair market value,
381
00:17:18,685 --> 00:17:20,952
and I don't even care
if the rent's a little late
382
00:17:20,987 --> 00:17:23,121
because, like, I'm a cool landlord.
383
00:17:23,156 --> 00:17:26,457
You're a cool landlord.
384
00:17:26,493 --> 00:17:28,526
And a capitalist.
385
00:17:28,561 --> 00:17:30,661
Maybe. But, you know,
386
00:17:30,697 --> 00:17:33,197
you're showing an awful lot
of concern for the little guy,
387
00:17:33,233 --> 00:17:36,734
the needy, the disadvantaged.
You know what that makes you?
388
00:17:36,770 --> 00:17:39,704
Late for my shareholder meeting.
389
00:17:39,739 --> 00:17:41,572
Mascot's a donkey.
390
00:17:41,608 --> 00:17:44,041
Looks like a jackass to me.
391
00:17:45,278 --> 00:17:46,711
With a little work,
392
00:17:46,746 --> 00:17:48,413
there's plenty of room
for all your equipment.
393
00:17:48,448 --> 00:17:50,815
I mean, the rent's right,
and I'm... I think your landlord
394
00:17:50,850 --> 00:17:52,950
probably self-imposed
rent control.
395
00:17:54,521 --> 00:17:55,920
So, what do you think?
396
00:17:55,955 --> 00:17:57,355
I don't know, Dad.
397
00:17:57,390 --> 00:17:59,524
We were looking
for someplace that's safer.
398
00:17:59,559 --> 00:18:03,494
You, uh, have anything
in a plastic bubble?
399
00:18:03,530 --> 00:18:05,930
Mandy, I think you should take it.
400
00:18:05,965 --> 00:18:07,765
- You mean it?
- I do, I do,
401
00:18:07,801 --> 00:18:09,934
and I'm happy for both of you.
402
00:18:11,137 --> 00:18:13,037
Excuse me.
403
00:18:14,073 --> 00:18:15,873
She didn't seem very happy.
404
00:18:15,909 --> 00:18:17,508
I'd better talk to her.
405
00:18:17,544 --> 00:18:19,944
No, babe.
406
00:18:19,979 --> 00:18:22,046
I'll handle it.
407
00:18:26,719 --> 00:18:29,687
A plastic bubble might be fun.
408
00:18:29,722 --> 00:18:31,989
Hamsters always seem happy.
409
00:18:33,793 --> 00:18:35,593
Mom?
410
00:18:35,628 --> 00:18:39,797
I... No, I was checking e-mail.
I swear I wasn't calling anyone.
411
00:18:39,833 --> 00:18:42,633
Look, I just wanted to make sure
you're okay with this.
412
00:18:42,669 --> 00:18:45,470
Mandy, come here.
Sit down, sit down.
413
00:18:47,106 --> 00:18:50,775
Honey, I owe you an apology.
414
00:18:50,810 --> 00:18:53,644
I-I shouldn't have interfered
the way I did
415
00:18:53,680 --> 00:18:55,213
in your apartment hunt.
416
00:18:55,248 --> 00:18:58,115
No, you shouldn't have.
I'm not a kid anymore.
417
00:18:58,151 --> 00:19:00,718
No, you're an adult, and, um...
418
00:19:00,753 --> 00:19:03,988
and that's really been my problem.
419
00:19:04,023 --> 00:19:05,923
What do you mean?
420
00:19:05,959 --> 00:19:08,659
I-I-I always knew that one day
you would move out.
421
00:19:08,695 --> 00:19:11,229
I-I was prepared for that,
as your mother,
422
00:19:11,264 --> 00:19:15,433
but then this past year
we spent all this time together.
423
00:19:15,468 --> 00:19:19,470
And you are this terrific,
terrific person,
424
00:19:19,506 --> 00:19:22,940
and I have loved
hanging out with you.
425
00:19:24,544 --> 00:19:26,911
I-I feel like we've become
more than mother and daughter.
426
00:19:26,946 --> 00:19:28,145
We've become, uh...
427
00:19:28,181 --> 00:19:29,981
- We've become friends.
- Friends.
428
00:19:30,016 --> 00:19:34,051
Yeah. Yeah, really,
really good friends.
429
00:19:38,191 --> 00:19:39,657
It's just...
430
00:19:39,692 --> 00:19:44,395
it's hard for me
to watch you go. It's...
431
00:19:45,665 --> 00:19:47,999
I love hanging out with you, too.
432
00:19:48,034 --> 00:19:50,001
Okay? And I'm not gonna
let that go
433
00:19:50,036 --> 00:19:51,869
just because I live somewhere else.
434
00:19:51,905 --> 00:19:53,538
- Mm, well, I hope not.
- No.
435
00:19:53,573 --> 00:19:55,606
Besides, you're gonna be
at my place all the time.
436
00:19:55,642 --> 00:19:56,974
Yeah.
437
00:19:57,010 --> 00:19:58,442
You're gonna be putting in
shelf paper
438
00:19:58,478 --> 00:20:00,511
and organizing the spices and...
439
00:20:00,547 --> 00:20:03,147
everything else
that I need my mommy for.
440
00:20:03,182 --> 00:20:05,182
Oh, you better believe I'll be there.
441
00:20:05,218 --> 00:20:07,618
I mean, um, is-is that
gonna be okay?
442
00:20:07,654 --> 00:20:09,620
Yeah, more than okay.
443
00:20:09,656 --> 00:20:11,689
Better than okay?
444
00:20:11,724 --> 00:20:14,325
We cool.
445
00:20:14,360 --> 00:20:19,297
Um, is it okay if I ask Ryan
if he's checked for radon?
446
00:20:19,332 --> 00:20:20,331
Mom.
447
00:20:20,366 --> 00:20:21,799
Yeah, right, right, right, no.
448
00:20:21,834 --> 00:20:24,502
That's, um...
that's why we had three.
449
00:20:26,606 --> 00:20:28,039
What?
450
00:20:28,074 --> 00:20:32,410
Uh... just something
your dad said.
451
00:20:39,321 --> 00:20:41,361
Okay, now, as soon as
the chicken breasts are brown,
452
00:20:41,390 --> 00:20:44,491
- then you flip them.
- Yeah, I can't do that.
453
00:20:44,526 --> 00:20:47,627
- I think it moved.
- Oh, no, no, no. It didn't move.
454
00:20:47,663 --> 00:20:50,297
It didn't move. You can do it,
you can do it. Listen. Honey.
455
00:20:50,332 --> 00:20:52,099
Forget about the pork chop fiasco.
456
00:20:52,134 --> 00:20:53,834
- Okay.
- Okay, just-just-just do it.
457
00:20:53,869 --> 00:20:55,435
Yeah, yeah, yeah,
I'm flipping the chicken.
458
00:20:55,471 --> 00:20:57,270
Okay. All right, okay.
459
00:20:57,306 --> 00:20:58,946
- I did it!
- You did it! Yay!
460
00:20:58,974 --> 00:21:01,208
All right, all right, all right,
now pour on the sauce.
461
00:21:01,243 --> 00:21:03,123
- No, I'm afraid to.
- Yeah. No, look, look, look,
462
00:21:03,145 --> 00:21:04,778
it's not gonna burst into flames.
463
00:21:04,813 --> 00:21:06,780
That's the mistake we made
with the tequila chicken.
464
00:21:06,815 --> 00:21:09,516
- Just pour it on, pour it on.
- Okay, okay.
465
00:21:09,551 --> 00:21:11,218
- Mm-hmm.
- Good. There you go.
466
00:21:12,855 --> 00:21:14,721
All right, all right.
Here. Okay.
467
00:21:14,757 --> 00:21:17,557
Cover the pan, and, uh, voil�.
468
00:21:17,593 --> 00:21:19,893
- 15 minutes, you have dinner.
- Okay. Okay.
469
00:21:19,928 --> 00:21:22,229
Well, how do we know
when 15 minutes is up?
470
00:21:22,264 --> 00:21:23,463
Do we have a timer?
471
00:21:23,499 --> 00:21:26,133
Well, in a way, uh,
15 minutes is, hmm,
472
00:21:26,168 --> 00:21:29,369
give or take, half a glass of wine.
473
00:21:29,404 --> 00:21:31,671
Well, wouldn't that depend
on the size of the glass
474
00:21:31,707 --> 00:21:35,876
- and how big the minutes are?
- Honey. Drink the wine.
36743
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