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1
00:00:11,000 --> 00:00:12,799
Oh, Dad,
2
00:00:12,834 --> 00:00:15,000
we've got to do something
about our astrologer.
3
00:00:15,035 --> 00:00:16,365
Madam Dolores? Why?
4
00:00:16,400 --> 00:00:19,801
I just don't think her
heart's in it anymore.
5
00:00:19,836 --> 00:00:20,965
"Pisces.
6
00:00:21,000 --> 00:00:24,868
Something bad
may or may not happen to you."
7
00:00:24,903 --> 00:00:26,818
I'm a Pisces.
8
00:00:26,853 --> 00:00:28,699
See what I mean?
9
00:00:28,734 --> 00:00:30,400
Well, so that one's
a little vague.
10
00:00:30,435 --> 00:00:32,084
Let's read yours.
11
00:00:32,119 --> 00:00:33,943
Uh, let's see...
12
00:00:33,978 --> 00:00:36,172
January 1st.
13
00:00:36,207 --> 00:00:37,887
I know, I know.
14
00:00:37,922 --> 00:00:39,532
Uh, here it is.
15
00:00:39,567 --> 00:00:41,701
"If you open yourself up
and take a chance,
16
00:00:41,736 --> 00:00:43,165
"a nice, honest man
17
00:00:43,200 --> 00:00:44,899
will turn up
at your door."
18
00:00:44,934 --> 00:00:47,801
In your neighborhood,
he'd better have a gun.
19
00:00:47,836 --> 00:00:49,299
Good morning.
Elliott!
20
00:00:49,334 --> 00:00:51,968
Elliott,
you ready for tomorrow's action?
21
00:00:52,003 --> 00:00:53,132
You betcha.
22
00:00:53,167 --> 00:00:54,666
What's tomorrow?
23
00:00:54,701 --> 00:00:56,100
We're playing
paint ball.
24
00:00:56,135 --> 00:00:57,265
Paint ball?
25
00:00:57,300 --> 00:00:59,100
Oh, is that where you dress up
like soldiers
26
00:00:59,135 --> 00:01:00,701
and pretend to have
little battles?
27
00:01:00,736 --> 00:01:02,065
Pretend nothing.
28
00:01:02,100 --> 00:01:03,683
It's exactly
like real war,
29
00:01:03,718 --> 00:01:05,232
except
instead of dying,
30
00:01:05,267 --> 00:01:06,801
you get a little
schmutz on you.
31
00:01:08,434 --> 00:01:10,200
We've been challenged
by Obsession.
32
00:01:10,235 --> 00:01:12,100
Obsession perfume?
33
00:01:12,135 --> 00:01:13,332
Don't laugh.
34
00:01:13,367 --> 00:01:14,499
They're the top team
35
00:01:14,534 --> 00:01:16,666
in the entire
perfume league.
36
00:01:16,701 --> 00:01:19,067
Their surprise ambush
of Old Spice
37
00:01:19,102 --> 00:01:20,067
is legendary.
38
00:01:21,467 --> 00:01:23,634
So here's your map
to the battlefield.
39
00:01:23,669 --> 00:01:24,699
Great.
40
00:01:24,734 --> 00:01:26,667
Don't I get one?
41
00:01:26,702 --> 00:01:28,566
Oh, of course,
42
00:01:28,601 --> 00:01:30,684
it's only for the guys,
because God forbid
43
00:01:30,719 --> 00:01:32,767
a woman should be
tough enough for combat.
44
00:01:32,802 --> 00:01:34,601
Fine, come with us.
45
00:01:34,636 --> 00:01:36,400
Great, count me in...
46
00:01:36,435 --> 00:01:37,968
unless it rains,
47
00:01:38,003 --> 00:01:39,466
or it's cold.
48
00:01:39,501 --> 00:01:40,701
I don't want to play.
49
00:01:43,000 --> 00:01:44,167
Is Finch going?
50
00:01:44,202 --> 00:01:45,265
You bet.
51
00:01:45,300 --> 00:01:47,032
He's perfect
for guerrilla warfare.
52
00:01:47,067 --> 00:01:50,200
Put a straw in his mouth,
and he can hide in a puddle.
53
00:01:50,235 --> 00:01:52,632
Oh, what happened?
54
00:01:52,667 --> 00:01:54,701
Ah, fell down in the shower.
55
00:01:54,736 --> 00:01:55,833
Let me guess.
56
00:01:55,868 --> 00:01:58,834
That first blast
of water?
57
00:02:00,901 --> 00:02:03,133
Dennis, you wouldn't
by any chance
58
00:02:03,168 --> 00:02:04,599
be faking an injury
59
00:02:04,634 --> 00:02:06,501
so that you don't have
to play paint ball,
60
00:02:06,536 --> 00:02:07,532
would you?
61
00:02:07,567 --> 00:02:09,701
How can you even
think that?
62
00:02:09,736 --> 00:02:10,866
Hey, come on, Finch,
63
00:02:10,901 --> 00:02:12,734
give Baxter
his crutches back.
64
00:02:12,769 --> 00:02:14,567
He can't get out
of the stall.
65
00:02:17,234 --> 00:02:19,551
Dennis, I'm very
disappointed in you.
66
00:02:19,586 --> 00:02:21,868
So I don't want
to play paint ball, okay?
67
00:02:21,903 --> 00:02:23,485
A bunch of guys
running around,
68
00:02:23,520 --> 00:02:25,032
trying to prove
how tough they are.
69
00:02:25,067 --> 00:02:27,133
It's just like dodge ball
when I was 10.
70
00:02:27,168 --> 00:02:28,399
Jimmy Burns would come up
71
00:02:28,434 --> 00:02:31,100
and whale that ball at my head
as hard as he could.
72
00:02:31,135 --> 00:02:32,868
It freaked me out.
73
00:02:32,903 --> 00:02:34,385
You poor guy.
74
00:02:34,420 --> 00:02:35,833
That's all right.
75
00:02:35,868 --> 00:02:38,167
Would you like me
to braid your hair?
76
00:02:40,000 --> 00:02:42,968
Me, I can't wait to
kick a little butt,
77
00:02:43,003 --> 00:02:45,267
to spit in the eye
of the enemy,
78
00:02:45,302 --> 00:02:46,984
to lay myself
on the line
79
00:02:47,019 --> 00:02:48,667
for the cause
of freedom.
80
00:02:48,702 --> 00:02:51,501
Freedom!
81
00:02:54,767 --> 00:02:56,601
I rented Braveheart.
82
00:02:58,367 --> 00:03:01,234
Ha-ha-ha, it won't work.
83
00:03:01,269 --> 00:03:02,265
Dennis,
84
00:03:02,300 --> 00:03:03,950
either you play
paint ball with us,
85
00:03:03,985 --> 00:03:05,601
or I won't take you
to the Armani party
86
00:03:05,636 --> 00:03:06,566
on Monday.
87
00:03:06,601 --> 00:03:08,667
Hmm, I'm tired of parties.
88
00:03:08,702 --> 00:03:10,168
It's on his yacht.
89
00:03:10,203 --> 00:03:12,101
There'll be models.
90
00:03:12,136 --> 00:03:13,965
See them all the time.
91
00:03:14,000 --> 00:03:17,067
And the only way
to get there?
92
00:03:17,102 --> 00:03:18,232
Helicopter.
93
00:03:18,267 --> 00:03:20,567
Like James Bond?
94
00:03:24,400 --> 00:03:26,150
What time
tomorrow, Jack?
95
00:03:26,185 --> 00:03:27,866
The battle begins at 0800,
96
00:03:27,901 --> 00:03:30,667
but there's a cappuccino
and omelet reception
97
00:03:30,702 --> 00:03:32,501
7:30-ish.
98
00:03:43,501 --> 00:03:46,666
Maya, great news.
99
00:03:46,701 --> 00:03:48,400
You and I are double-dating
tomorrow night.
100
00:03:48,435 --> 00:03:49,799
We are?
101
00:03:49,834 --> 00:03:51,566
Well, my friend Vinny
was supposed to come,
102
00:03:51,601 --> 00:03:53,901
but she was flying back
from Paris on the Concorde,
103
00:03:53,936 --> 00:03:55,701
and her lips depressurized.
104
00:03:58,100 --> 00:04:02,534
Poor thing walked off that plane
looking like Daisy Duck.
105
00:04:04,133 --> 00:04:05,934
Thanks, Nina,
but I think I'll pass.
106
00:04:05,969 --> 00:04:07,332
Oh, come on,
please, Maya.
107
00:04:07,367 --> 00:04:08,850
Roger, the man
I've been dating,
108
00:04:08,885 --> 00:04:10,334
has this friend in
from out of town,
109
00:04:10,369 --> 00:04:11,667
and I don't want
to cancel.
110
00:04:11,702 --> 00:04:13,566
Come on, take a chance.
111
00:04:13,601 --> 00:04:16,000
Well, look, I appreciate
your thinking of me,
112
00:04:16,035 --> 00:04:17,451
but...
113
00:04:17,486 --> 00:04:18,833
Wait.
114
00:04:18,868 --> 00:04:20,199
"Take a chance.
115
00:04:20,234 --> 00:04:22,234
A nice, honest man
will turn up at your door."
116
00:04:22,269 --> 00:04:24,801
Shakespeare?
117
00:04:27,534 --> 00:04:28,532
My horoscope.
118
00:04:28,567 --> 00:04:30,501
Oh, well, then, there you go.
119
00:04:30,536 --> 00:04:31,799
Oh, look, Nina,
120
00:04:31,834 --> 00:04:33,901
I have had bad luck
with blind dates.
121
00:04:33,936 --> 00:04:35,933
My last one
took me to a Yankees game.
122
00:04:35,968 --> 00:04:38,151
He drank nine cups of beer
and ran the bases
123
00:04:38,186 --> 00:04:40,334
before being tackled
by the grounds crew.
124
00:04:40,369 --> 00:04:44,167
Baseball is so confusing.
125
00:04:44,202 --> 00:04:45,332
And anyway,
126
00:04:45,367 --> 00:04:46,732
there's a special
on the making
127
00:04:46,767 --> 00:04:48,968
of The Wizard of Oz
that I really want to see.
128
00:04:50,167 --> 00:04:51,299
Fine.
129
00:04:51,334 --> 00:04:53,267
But you go long enough
without a man,
130
00:04:53,302 --> 00:04:54,434
and you know what happens?
131
00:04:54,469 --> 00:04:55,632
What?
132
00:04:55,667 --> 00:04:58,501
I don't know.
133
00:05:11,501 --> 00:05:12,801
Message for you, sir.
134
00:05:12,836 --> 00:05:14,467
At ease, Persky.
135
00:05:18,834 --> 00:05:19,998
Bad news, men.
136
00:05:20,033 --> 00:05:22,299
The Obsession team
canceled.
137
00:05:22,334 --> 00:05:24,634
They've got group tickets
to The Lion King.
138
00:05:24,669 --> 00:05:27,300
Yeah, you hear that?
We're going home.
139
00:05:27,335 --> 00:05:28,332
Yay.
140
00:05:28,367 --> 00:05:31,234
Our new opponent
is Charlie perfume.
141
00:05:31,269 --> 00:05:33,734
So the strategy is the same.
142
00:05:33,769 --> 00:05:34,933
Stay downwind,
143
00:05:34,968 --> 00:05:37,968
and you'll smell them
a mile away.
144
00:05:38,003 --> 00:05:41,033
All right, men, remember this.
145
00:05:41,068 --> 00:05:43,550
This means "regroup,"
146
00:05:43,585 --> 00:05:45,998
this means "perimeter"...
147
00:05:46,033 --> 00:05:47,801
and this means,
"I've lost interest.
148
00:05:47,836 --> 00:05:50,234
Somebody go get the car."
149
00:05:50,269 --> 00:05:52,098
Listen up, ladies.
150
00:05:52,133 --> 00:05:54,834
The object is to capture
the other team's flag.
151
00:05:54,869 --> 00:05:57,434
Get shot,
and you're done for the day.
152
00:05:57,469 --> 00:05:59,499
Hey, where's Elliott?
153
00:05:59,534 --> 00:06:01,432
I don't know.
I'm getting worried.
154
00:06:01,467 --> 00:06:04,801
There will be all-out war
for three and a half hours,
155
00:06:04,836 --> 00:06:06,199
followed by a light lunch
156
00:06:06,234 --> 00:06:08,868
with your choice of merlot
or chardonnay.
157
00:06:08,903 --> 00:06:11,365
If you fail
to select a wine,
158
00:06:11,400 --> 00:06:14,400
you will be assigned
the pinot grigio.
159
00:06:14,435 --> 00:06:16,184
Are we clear?
160
00:06:16,219 --> 00:06:17,809
I can't hear you.
161
00:06:17,844 --> 00:06:19,365
Sir, yes, sir.
162
00:06:19,400 --> 00:06:21,733
We're clear,
we're clear.
163
00:06:21,768 --> 00:06:24,032
I've received advance word
164
00:06:24,067 --> 00:06:26,801
that today's salmon is prepared
in a light dill sauce
165
00:06:26,836 --> 00:06:28,734
and is simply out of this world.
166
00:06:32,100 --> 00:06:34,167
All right, men, that's it.
Let's move out.
167
00:06:34,202 --> 00:06:38,067
Move it.
Move out there.
168
00:06:38,102 --> 00:06:39,901
Move.
169
00:06:41,234 --> 00:06:43,650
Come on, Dennis,
move.
170
00:06:43,685 --> 00:06:46,067
Damn it, man, move.
171
00:06:46,102 --> 00:06:47,901
Move!
172
00:07:04,367 --> 00:07:05,632
You're dead.
173
00:07:05,667 --> 00:07:07,399
Come on-
You're dead.
174
00:07:07,434 --> 00:07:10,067
Now, go get yourself
an omelet, soldier.
175
00:07:22,567 --> 00:07:26,133
And despite studio effortsto ban alcohol from the set,
176
00:07:26,168 --> 00:07:28,100
the yellow brick roadwas often littered
177
00:07:28,135 --> 00:07:30,434
with passed-out Munchkins.
178
00:07:33,033 --> 00:07:34,165
Who is it?
179
00:07:34,200 --> 00:07:36,367
Who's ready
to party?
180
00:07:36,402 --> 00:07:38,132
Nina?
181
00:07:38,167 --> 00:07:41,701
We brought wine and Chinese,
and we are ready to party.
182
00:07:41,736 --> 00:07:43,098
Who's "we"?
183
00:07:43,133 --> 00:07:46,901
Michael and Roger, our dates,
and they are ready to party.
184
00:07:46,936 --> 00:07:47,899
Would you quit saying that?
185
00:07:47,934 --> 00:07:49,499
Look, you might as well
let us in.
186
00:07:49,534 --> 00:07:51,334
My arm is thin enough
to unlock the chain.
187
00:07:51,369 --> 00:07:52,666
Okay, all right,
all right.
188
00:07:52,701 --> 00:07:54,834
All right, all right,
all right, all right.
189
00:07:58,234 --> 00:08:02,067
Is...this your card?
190
00:08:02,102 --> 00:08:04,098
No.
191
00:08:04,133 --> 00:08:06,334
How about...this one?
192
00:08:06,369 --> 00:08:08,085
No, sorry.
193
00:08:08,120 --> 00:08:09,766
Well, then...
194
00:08:09,801 --> 00:08:12,467
is this your card?
195
00:08:12,502 --> 00:08:15,833
No.
196
00:08:15,868 --> 00:08:17,767
Well, then, is this your couch?
197
00:08:17,802 --> 00:08:18,833
Amazing.
198
00:08:18,868 --> 00:08:20,200
Thank you very much,
thank you.
199
00:08:20,235 --> 00:08:22,051
Thank you. No, thank you.
200
00:08:22,086 --> 00:08:23,868
Does anybody want
more wine?
201
00:08:23,903 --> 00:08:25,868
Well, I'm a quart low.
202
00:08:30,767 --> 00:08:31,799
So?
203
00:08:31,834 --> 00:08:34,033
Well, okay,
I admit it,
204
00:08:34,068 --> 00:08:35,466
he's a nice guy.
205
00:08:35,501 --> 00:08:37,968
I could see myself spending
more time with him.
206
00:08:38,003 --> 00:08:39,218
Oh, I knew
you'd think so.
207
00:08:39,253 --> 00:08:40,434
I've got to get
another CD.
208
00:08:43,534 --> 00:08:44,868
Well, I can take a hint.
209
00:08:44,903 --> 00:08:45,933
Roger.
210
00:08:45,968 --> 00:08:47,968
Okay. See you
around, buddy.
211
00:08:48,003 --> 00:08:49,901
Uh, oh, okay.
212
00:08:56,868 --> 00:08:59,033
Okay, so, what do
you guys want to hear?
213
00:08:59,068 --> 00:09:00,965
I've got-
214
00:09:01,000 --> 00:09:02,467
What happened?
215
00:09:02,502 --> 00:09:03,934
Well, they left.
216
00:09:03,969 --> 00:09:04,933
Why?
217
00:09:04,968 --> 00:09:06,651
Are we supposed to
meet them somewhere?
218
00:09:06,686 --> 00:09:08,334
Well, I don't know.
They just took off.
219
00:09:08,369 --> 00:09:10,184
Oh.
Is this weird?
220
00:09:10,219 --> 00:09:12,000
Should I leave?
221
00:09:12,035 --> 00:09:13,432
Uh...no.
222
00:09:13,467 --> 00:09:15,200
I- I guess
it's fine.
223
00:09:20,634 --> 00:09:22,632
So...
224
00:09:22,667 --> 00:09:23,900
Nina is a crackup, huh?
225
00:09:23,935 --> 00:09:25,133
Yeah, she's
pretty funny.
226
00:09:25,168 --> 00:09:26,332
She is really...
227
00:09:26,367 --> 00:09:28,801
Her lips move
when she plays charades.
228
00:09:28,836 --> 00:09:30,434
I noticed that.
229
00:09:30,469 --> 00:09:32,200
I keep...
230
00:09:39,634 --> 00:09:41,701
Was it okay to do that?
231
00:09:41,736 --> 00:09:43,367
I didn't hate it.
232
00:09:52,334 --> 00:09:54,117
Oh, God, oh, God, oh, God!
233
00:09:54,152 --> 00:09:55,901
Wow, it's like
my prom night
234
00:09:55,936 --> 00:09:57,167
all over again.
235
00:10:00,534 --> 00:10:01,599
No, no.
236
00:10:01,634 --> 00:10:03,601
Ow, I threw
my back out.
237
00:10:03,636 --> 00:10:04,699
Oh, my gosh.
238
00:10:04,734 --> 00:10:06,033
Ow, ow.
What should I do?
239
00:10:06,068 --> 00:10:07,098
What should I do?
240
00:10:07,133 --> 00:10:08,434
Do you want
a heating pad
241
00:10:08,469 --> 00:10:09,833
or some ice or...
242
00:10:09,868 --> 00:10:11,834
No, no, no, no.
This happened once before.
243
00:10:11,869 --> 00:10:13,601
I was in the hospital
for a week.
244
00:10:13,636 --> 00:10:15,334
Maybe we should call 911.
Oh, God!
245
00:10:15,369 --> 00:10:17,432
No, no, no.
246
00:10:17,467 --> 00:10:20,267
That-that's not the best plan.
247
00:10:20,302 --> 00:10:21,766
Why not?
248
00:10:21,801 --> 00:10:25,634
Well, because, actually,
I'm feeling much better.
249
00:10:25,669 --> 00:10:28,265
Oh, sweet Mary!
250
00:10:28,300 --> 00:10:30,133
Michael, you are
obviously in pain.
251
00:10:30,168 --> 00:10:31,432
What's the problem?
252
00:10:31,467 --> 00:10:34,767
Well, okay, well,
here's the thing.
253
00:10:34,802 --> 00:10:36,200
I'm married.
254
00:10:39,267 --> 00:10:40,365
You're married?
255
00:10:40,400 --> 00:10:42,199
Yeah, I know that sounds bad.
256
00:10:42,234 --> 00:10:43,899
Okay,
thanks for the great evening,
257
00:10:43,934 --> 00:10:47,167
and I hope your ambulance
goes over lots of potholes.
258
00:10:47,202 --> 00:10:48,834
Maya, please,
no, no, you can't do this.
259
00:10:48,869 --> 00:10:50,132
Give me one good reason.
260
00:10:50,167 --> 00:10:52,532
Because I'm a U.S. congressman,
261
00:10:52,567 --> 00:10:54,901
and I can't get caught
in your apartment.
262
00:10:56,968 --> 00:10:59,701
I said a good reason,
not a spectacular one.
263
00:11:10,234 --> 00:11:11,701
You're
a congressman?
264
00:11:11,736 --> 00:11:13,132
I'm afraid so.
265
00:11:13,167 --> 00:11:15,466
You told me
you were a rep. Well, I am.
266
00:11:15,501 --> 00:11:18,767
I represent the third district
of New Hampshire.
267
00:11:18,802 --> 00:11:20,868
Oh, please, no,
please, please, please.
268
00:11:20,903 --> 00:11:22,332
Please don't call.
269
00:11:22,367 --> 00:11:25,200
Look, I'm not even supposed
to be in New York.
270
00:11:25,235 --> 00:11:28,033
My wife thinks I'm duck hunting
in Louisiana.
271
00:11:28,068 --> 00:11:29,817
I have built
272
00:11:29,852 --> 00:11:31,532
my entire career
273
00:11:31,567 --> 00:11:33,834
pushing family values.
274
00:11:33,869 --> 00:11:35,265
If this gets out,
275
00:11:35,300 --> 00:11:37,601
I could just possibly
look like a hypocrite.
276
00:11:37,636 --> 00:11:39,965
Gee, you think?
277
00:11:40,000 --> 00:11:43,165
I know- I know
what you must think of me,
278
00:11:43,200 --> 00:11:46,400
but I have never done anything
like this before.
279
00:11:46,435 --> 00:11:48,065
How can I make you believe me?
280
00:11:48,100 --> 00:11:51,868
Uh, you could lower my IQ
40 points.
281
00:11:53,868 --> 00:11:55,317
I'm not a bad guy.
282
00:11:55,352 --> 00:11:56,732
I'm really not.
283
00:11:56,767 --> 00:12:01,300
I'm just under so much pressure
these days.
284
00:12:02,767 --> 00:12:05,934
Hell, I'm glad my back went out,
285
00:12:05,969 --> 00:12:07,732
because...
286
00:12:07,767 --> 00:12:09,399
it kept me from...
287
00:12:09,434 --> 00:12:11,400
making the worst mistake...
288
00:12:11,435 --> 00:12:12,901
of my life.
289
00:12:14,167 --> 00:12:15,550
Ow.
290
00:12:15,585 --> 00:12:16,934
Ow.
291
00:12:18,300 --> 00:12:20,399
Oh, God, oh, God.
292
00:12:20,434 --> 00:12:23,567
Oh, my wife can't find out.
293
00:12:23,602 --> 00:12:24,965
It'd kill her.
294
00:12:25,000 --> 00:12:27,899
She has a heart condition.
295
00:12:27,934 --> 00:12:30,199
She's on the list
for a transplant,
296
00:12:30,234 --> 00:12:33,501
but she won't accept
preferential treatment.
297
00:12:33,536 --> 00:12:35,866
Really?
298
00:12:35,901 --> 00:12:38,667
She has the biggest heart
I know,
299
00:12:38,702 --> 00:12:41,667
but it doesn't work.
300
00:12:53,734 --> 00:12:55,732
Hey, boss.
301
00:12:55,767 --> 00:12:58,917
We still on for that
Armani party tonight?
302
00:12:58,952 --> 00:13:02,067
Sure, we'll board the yacht,
say our hellos,
303
00:13:02,102 --> 00:13:03,866
then you can push me overboard.
304
00:13:03,901 --> 00:13:06,868
Come on, you're not still mad
about paint ball.
305
00:13:06,903 --> 00:13:09,400
You shot me
three seconds into the war.
306
00:13:12,200 --> 00:13:13,165
Hey-ho.
307
00:13:13,200 --> 00:13:15,365
Hey-ho? Where were you?
308
00:13:15,400 --> 00:13:18,467
I was all set to come.
Then Angie Everhart called.
309
00:13:18,502 --> 00:13:21,534
She's doing a movie in Toronto
and was feeling lonely.
310
00:13:21,569 --> 00:13:23,332
And you just had to go.
311
00:13:23,367 --> 00:13:25,400
Believe me,
it was a tough choice.
312
00:13:25,435 --> 00:13:26,532
Get shot in the face,
313
00:13:26,567 --> 00:13:28,467
get spanked by a supermodel...
314
00:13:31,200 --> 00:13:33,200
Elliott, I just now
got your message
315
00:13:33,235 --> 00:13:34,833
about Saturday.
316
00:13:34,868 --> 00:13:36,667
Someone's in trouble.
317
00:13:38,634 --> 00:13:41,501
I'm sorry I missed
paint ball, Jack.
318
00:13:41,536 --> 00:13:43,001
I'll bet.
319
00:13:43,036 --> 00:13:44,467
You dog.
320
00:13:47,434 --> 00:13:49,532
Wha-
321
00:13:49,567 --> 00:13:52,167
Why am I the bad guy here?
322
00:13:52,202 --> 00:13:53,365
I did my duty.
323
00:13:53,400 --> 00:13:55,917
You ran off to Canada
like a coward.
324
00:13:55,952 --> 00:13:58,399
I was standing up
for what I believe in.
325
00:13:58,434 --> 00:14:01,133
Actually, I was lying down
for what I believe in.
326
00:14:05,200 --> 00:14:06,399
There you are.
327
00:14:06,434 --> 00:14:07,934
I must've called you
a hundred times.
328
00:14:07,969 --> 00:14:09,851
I can't believe
you walked out on me.
329
00:14:09,886 --> 00:14:11,734
Walked out?
You practically threw me out.
330
00:14:11,769 --> 00:14:14,534
Michael
is still in my apartment.
331
00:14:14,569 --> 00:14:17,332
Maya, bravo.
332
00:14:17,367 --> 00:14:19,550
No, he can't move.
333
00:14:19,585 --> 00:14:21,699
My hat is off.
334
00:14:21,734 --> 00:14:26,000
Nina, he's a congressman
from New Hampshire.
335
00:14:26,035 --> 00:14:27,365
He is?
336
00:14:27,400 --> 00:14:29,367
Yeah, too bad
about that guy, huh?
337
00:14:29,402 --> 00:14:31,265
What do you mean?
338
00:14:31,300 --> 00:14:33,067
You're talking about
the congressman
339
00:14:33,102 --> 00:14:34,584
who disappeared?
340
00:14:34,619 --> 00:14:36,032
It's in the papers?
341
00:14:36,067 --> 00:14:38,017
"Congressman Michael Tenzer
of New Hampshire
342
00:14:38,052 --> 00:14:40,143
"has disappeared after
a duck hunting trip
343
00:14:40,178 --> 00:14:42,234
in the treacherous
Louisiana swamplands."
344
00:14:42,269 --> 00:14:43,532
Oh, my God.
345
00:14:43,567 --> 00:14:44,934
"The news
has caused a stir
346
00:14:44,969 --> 00:14:46,532
"on Capitol Hill,
347
00:14:46,567 --> 00:14:48,601
"where Tenzer is known
as the crying congressman
348
00:14:48,636 --> 00:14:50,467
for his tearful
speaking style."
349
00:14:50,502 --> 00:14:51,599
What?!
350
00:14:51,634 --> 00:14:53,217
"His tearful
speaking-"
351
00:14:53,252 --> 00:14:54,766
Hey, that's
a little rude.
352
00:14:54,801 --> 00:14:56,067
"Colleagues sent
messages of hope
353
00:14:56,102 --> 00:14:57,098
"to Blakely Tenzer,
354
00:14:57,133 --> 00:14:59,133
the congressman's wife
of 15 years..."
355
00:14:59,168 --> 00:15:00,965
What?!
356
00:15:01,000 --> 00:15:03,167
"And a nationally ranked
marathon runner."
357
00:15:03,202 --> 00:15:05,232
What?!
358
00:15:05,267 --> 00:15:07,133
"Man buys newspaper
with own money
359
00:15:07,168 --> 00:15:08,567
and wants
to read it."
360
00:15:08,602 --> 00:15:10,033
What?!
361
00:15:13,133 --> 00:15:15,067
Oh, good, did you
bring me a sandwich?
362
00:15:15,102 --> 00:15:16,065
No.
363
00:15:16,100 --> 00:15:20,032
I'm so hungry.
364
00:15:20,067 --> 00:15:22,267
Oh, quit it with the fake tears.
I'm on to you.
365
00:15:22,302 --> 00:15:23,901
Oh, well.
366
00:15:25,934 --> 00:15:27,532
Nina, go.
367
00:15:27,567 --> 00:15:29,434
What's happening?
368
00:15:29,469 --> 00:15:30,566
Pain pills,
369
00:15:30,601 --> 00:15:32,165
so you can get up
and out.
370
00:15:32,200 --> 00:15:34,517
Yeah, before we throw you
into the East River,
371
00:15:34,552 --> 00:15:36,834
and your sick wife has to jog up
from Washington
372
00:15:36,869 --> 00:15:38,265
to identify your body.
373
00:15:38,300 --> 00:15:39,799
Okay, don't get cute with me.
374
00:15:39,834 --> 00:15:41,933
All I have to do
is tell the press
375
00:15:41,968 --> 00:15:44,133
about how you lured me
to your apartment
376
00:15:44,168 --> 00:15:46,484
and then tried to seduce me.
377
00:15:46,519 --> 00:15:48,801
No one is gonna believe that.
378
00:15:48,836 --> 00:15:51,100
It's worked before.
379
00:15:51,135 --> 00:15:52,717
Listen, buddy,
380
00:15:52,752 --> 00:15:54,265
I have had it
381
00:15:54,300 --> 00:15:56,434
with your crying
and your lying.
382
00:15:56,469 --> 00:15:58,801
Now, get up
and get out!
383
00:15:58,836 --> 00:16:00,032
Michael?
Uh-oh.
384
00:16:00,067 --> 00:16:01,583
Maybe I gave him too much.
385
00:16:01,618 --> 00:16:03,100
What did it say
on the label?
386
00:16:03,135 --> 00:16:04,365
What label?
387
00:16:04,400 --> 00:16:07,567
Please, I bought those
from that guy on your stoop.
388
00:16:07,602 --> 00:16:09,801
Hey, wake up!
389
00:16:11,434 --> 00:16:12,799
Who is it?
390
00:16:12,834 --> 00:16:14,667
Police. I'd like to ask you
a few questions.
391
00:16:14,702 --> 00:16:16,599
My God. How are
we gonna move him?
392
00:16:16,634 --> 00:16:19,100
The couch.
We'll fold him into the couch.
393
00:16:21,567 --> 00:16:23,900
Uh...ju-
just a second.
394
00:16:23,935 --> 00:16:26,199
I'm-
I'm on the phone...
395
00:16:26,234 --> 00:16:29,534
with my mother,
and she's, uh...
396
00:16:29,569 --> 00:16:31,718
She's in Disneyland.
397
00:16:31,753 --> 00:16:33,833
She's
really depressed,
398
00:16:33,868 --> 00:16:37,199
because she lost
her fanny pouch,
399
00:16:37,234 --> 00:16:40,367
and she couldn't get
onto Splash Mountain,
400
00:16:40,402 --> 00:16:42,834
and a bear was
really rude to her,
401
00:16:42,869 --> 00:16:45,267
and...you know
how mothers are.
402
00:16:45,302 --> 00:16:47,351
They get so...
so upset.
403
00:16:47,386 --> 00:16:49,400
Just a sec. Here I come.
404
00:16:49,435 --> 00:16:50,568
Play it cool.
405
00:16:50,603 --> 00:16:51,701
All right.
406
00:16:54,367 --> 00:16:56,033
Sorry to keep you
waiting, officer.
407
00:16:56,068 --> 00:16:57,332
Detective Cosovich.
408
00:16:57,367 --> 00:16:58,866
I'm investigating
the disappearance
409
00:16:58,901 --> 00:17:00,667
of a congressman,
this guy Michael Tenzer.
410
00:17:00,702 --> 00:17:02,499
Yeah, I heard about that.
411
00:17:02,534 --> 00:17:04,132
Can I come in?
Sure, absolutely.
412
00:17:04,167 --> 00:17:06,167
Apparently, someone
used his credit card
413
00:17:06,202 --> 00:17:07,632
to order a pizza
to this building,
414
00:17:07,667 --> 00:17:09,167
but they didn't leave
an apartment number.
415
00:17:09,202 --> 00:17:10,299
That's weird.
416
00:17:10,334 --> 00:17:12,467
Yeah, the restaurant
probably screwed it up.
417
00:17:12,502 --> 00:17:14,000
Oh, yeah, that's probably it.
418
00:17:14,035 --> 00:17:15,232
I thought that I heard
419
00:17:15,267 --> 00:17:17,300
that this congressman
got lost in Louisiana.
420
00:17:17,335 --> 00:17:19,267
That's just what his office
is saying.
421
00:17:19,302 --> 00:17:20,833
Between you and me,
422
00:17:20,868 --> 00:17:23,100
he's probably hanging out
with some girl right now.
423
00:17:23,135 --> 00:17:24,968
Apparently,
he's got one in every town.
424
00:17:25,003 --> 00:17:27,599
Oh, really.
425
00:17:27,634 --> 00:17:31,998
Well...isn't that
interesting?
426
00:17:32,033 --> 00:17:33,701
So anyway,
thank you for your time.
427
00:17:33,736 --> 00:17:34,666
Oh, sure.
428
00:17:34,701 --> 00:17:36,801
I hope you find
the poor guy.
429
00:17:39,033 --> 00:17:40,232
That was too close.
430
00:17:40,267 --> 00:17:41,868
Don't worry.
I got rid of your stuff.
431
00:17:41,903 --> 00:17:43,265
What? I don't have any stuff.
432
00:17:43,300 --> 00:17:46,000
Oh, well, then I owe you
some baby powder.
433
00:17:54,734 --> 00:17:57,801
Oh, Maya, this shade of lipstick
is fabulous.
434
00:17:57,836 --> 00:18:00,234
Oh, I'm so glad you like it.
435
00:18:03,801 --> 00:18:05,634
This should give him something
to really cry about.
436
00:18:05,669 --> 00:18:06,899
Well, it should.
437
00:18:06,934 --> 00:18:08,334
Didn't realize
his ears weren't pierced.
438
00:18:14,133 --> 00:18:15,917
Yeah.
439
00:18:15,952 --> 00:18:17,701
Incoming!
440
00:18:19,334 --> 00:18:21,033
Wasn't cool.
441
00:18:22,667 --> 00:18:24,265
Hey, Jack,
there you are.
442
00:18:24,300 --> 00:18:26,334
The helicopter
makes its last run to the party
443
00:18:26,369 --> 00:18:29,035
in 15 minutes. We'd better book.
444
00:18:29,070 --> 00:18:31,666
You just don't get it,
do you?
445
00:18:31,701 --> 00:18:35,167
If I'd been killed by Charlie,
there's honor in that,
446
00:18:35,202 --> 00:18:37,968
but to be shot
by your own man...
447
00:18:38,003 --> 00:18:39,767
Fine, hate me forever.
448
00:18:41,934 --> 00:18:43,998
No, no.
449
00:18:44,033 --> 00:18:45,467
No, Jack, don't.
450
00:18:56,767 --> 00:18:59,334
Dennis.
451
00:19:02,300 --> 00:19:03,799
Dennis,
452
00:19:03,834 --> 00:19:05,766
you sweet, dumb kid.
453
00:19:05,801 --> 00:19:07,667
That should have been me.
454
00:19:10,968 --> 00:19:13,799
My shirt, is it-
is it bad?
455
00:19:13,834 --> 00:19:16,300
It's nothing.
We can fix that up.
456
00:19:16,335 --> 00:19:19,232
You'll be right
as rain.
457
00:19:19,267 --> 00:19:23,200
I guess I'm not going
to the party with you, Jack.
458
00:19:25,100 --> 00:19:27,167
Come on,
don't talk crazy.
459
00:19:27,202 --> 00:19:28,265
An hour from now,
460
00:19:28,300 --> 00:19:29,634
you'll be
eating caviar
461
00:19:29,669 --> 00:19:30,968
and flirting
with models.
462
00:19:31,003 --> 00:19:32,852
You hear me?
463
00:19:32,887 --> 00:19:34,701
I'm cold, Jack.
464
00:19:36,567 --> 00:19:38,933
I'm cold as hell.
465
00:19:38,968 --> 00:19:41,534
I'll need
some help here!
466
00:19:43,467 --> 00:19:44,866
Listen to me.
467
00:19:44,901 --> 00:19:48,234
That chopper's leaving.
You've got to get out of here.
468
00:19:50,767 --> 00:19:53,265
I'm not leaving you
behind.
469
00:19:53,300 --> 00:19:56,467
Look at me.
I ain't gonna make it.
470
00:19:56,502 --> 00:19:57,934
Just go!
471
00:19:59,734 --> 00:20:01,365
I won't forget this, Dennis,
472
00:20:01,400 --> 00:20:03,667
and I'll bring you back
some of those little quiches.
473
00:20:03,702 --> 00:20:04,934
Ooh, yeah.
474
00:20:07,367 --> 00:20:09,100
When questionedabout being found
475
00:20:09,135 --> 00:20:10,532
in women's lingerie,
476
00:20:10,567 --> 00:20:13,267
Tenzer was emotionaland seemingly delirious.
477
00:20:13,302 --> 00:20:14,732
I swear,
478
00:20:14,767 --> 00:20:17,017
I was abductedand drugged.
479
00:20:17,052 --> 00:20:19,267
They folded mein a couch.
480
00:20:21,067 --> 00:20:22,067
Mm.
481
00:20:23,067 --> 00:20:25,132
Amazing, huh?
What?
482
00:20:25,167 --> 00:20:26,601
How that lipstick
brought out
483
00:20:26,636 --> 00:20:29,499
the color
of his eyes.
484
00:20:29,534 --> 00:20:31,167
Well, I'll tell you
one thing.
485
00:20:31,202 --> 00:20:32,667
Madam Dolores is out.
486
00:20:32,702 --> 00:20:34,133
"Nice, honest guy"?
487
00:20:36,834 --> 00:20:37,965
Who is it?
488
00:20:38,000 --> 00:20:39,000
Detective
Cosovich.
489
00:20:39,035 --> 00:20:40,934
Play it cool.
490
00:20:49,100 --> 00:20:50,100
Hi.
491
00:20:50,135 --> 00:20:51,065
Hi.
492
00:20:51,100 --> 00:20:52,783
As you may have heard,
493
00:20:52,818 --> 00:20:54,467
we found the congressman.
494
00:20:54,502 --> 00:20:55,499
Yeah.
495
00:20:55,534 --> 00:20:56,799
Pretty wild, huh?
496
00:20:56,834 --> 00:21:00,667
So it's probably obvious, then,
why I'm here.
497
00:21:00,702 --> 00:21:03,098
Oh.
498
00:21:03,133 --> 00:21:05,968
You want to grab a cup of coffee
with me?
499
00:21:07,801 --> 00:21:08,834
Oh.
500
00:21:10,634 --> 00:21:14,367
Well, listen, I just got burned
by the last guy I went out with.
501
00:21:14,402 --> 00:21:15,998
Hey...
502
00:21:16,033 --> 00:21:18,100
I'm a nice, honest guy.
503
00:21:20,467 --> 00:21:21,501
Let's go.
504
00:21:31,868 --> 00:21:35,767
♪ Life keeps bringing me
Back to you ♪
505
00:21:35,802 --> 00:21:39,599
♪ Keeps bringing me home ♪
506
00:21:39,634 --> 00:21:43,701
♪ It don't matter what I want
To do, 'cause ♪
507
00:21:43,736 --> 00:21:49,399
♪ It's got a mind of its own ♪
508
00:21:49,434 --> 00:21:53,267
♪ Life keeps bringing me
Back to you ♪♪
509
00:21:53,317 --> 00:21:57,867
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