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1
00:00:16,334 --> 00:00:18,217
What are you doing?
2
00:00:18,252 --> 00:00:20,065
Oh, I can't decide
3
00:00:20,100 --> 00:00:22,601
which one to take
to the Hamptons.
4
00:00:22,636 --> 00:00:24,199
Lynn has
perfect legs,
5
00:00:24,234 --> 00:00:26,699
but Chrissy has
perfect breasts.
6
00:00:26,734 --> 00:00:30,601
What a coincidence.
You're a perfect ass.
7
00:00:30,636 --> 00:00:32,334
Good morning.
8
00:00:33,334 --> 00:00:34,968
Hmm. Tension in the air.
9
00:00:35,003 --> 00:00:36,365
Let me guess.
10
00:00:36,400 --> 00:00:38,734
Mr. Love Machine
made some yappity-dappity
11
00:00:38,769 --> 00:00:40,635
about getting it on
with the ladies,
12
00:00:40,670 --> 00:00:42,501
and then Mother Superior
was all,
13
00:00:42,536 --> 00:00:44,332
"What a pig!"
14
00:00:44,367 --> 00:00:47,701
and then you were all,
"But me likin' them womens."
15
00:00:47,736 --> 00:00:49,767
and then
you were all,
16
00:00:49,802 --> 00:00:50,732
"Boo hoo hoo.
17
00:00:50,767 --> 00:00:53,200
What about
our brains?"
18
00:00:54,601 --> 00:00:57,133
Finch, do you want
to get smacked?
19
00:00:57,168 --> 00:00:59,265
Kind of.
20
00:00:59,300 --> 00:01:00,799
I'm not proud of it. Hey!
21
00:01:00,834 --> 00:01:02,184
Your mom sent some more faxes.
22
00:01:02,219 --> 00:01:03,534
Tell her to keep them coming.
23
00:01:03,569 --> 00:01:04,799
We wouldn't want
24
00:01:04,834 --> 00:01:06,334
a business letter
to sneak through.
25
00:01:08,601 --> 00:01:09,766
Oh, wow.
26
00:01:09,801 --> 00:01:11,234
I don't believe this.
27
00:01:11,269 --> 00:01:13,035
Mr. Farrell died.
28
00:01:13,070 --> 00:01:14,766
"A memorial service,
29
00:01:14,801 --> 00:01:16,000
"hosted by
the class of '81,
30
00:01:16,035 --> 00:01:17,132
"will be held
31
00:01:17,167 --> 00:01:18,767
at the Hawthorne High
Cafetorium."
32
00:01:18,802 --> 00:01:20,132
Who's Mr. Farrell?
33
00:01:20,167 --> 00:01:22,500
He was my high school
history teacher.
34
00:01:22,535 --> 00:01:24,834
We used to call him
"Farrell the Ferret."
35
00:01:24,869 --> 00:01:26,265
Why did you call him that?
36
00:01:26,300 --> 00:01:28,866
Ah, you know,
because he was a big man.
37
00:01:28,901 --> 00:01:32,334
Why didn't you call him
"Farrell the Barrel"?
38
00:01:32,369 --> 00:01:37,132
People weren't that clever
in my town.
39
00:01:37,167 --> 00:01:40,334
When the train went by,
everyone would clap.
40
00:01:40,369 --> 00:01:42,334
So are you going to go?
41
00:01:42,369 --> 00:01:43,332
Are you kidding?
42
00:01:43,367 --> 00:01:44,732
I had to miss
my 10-year reunion.
43
00:01:44,767 --> 00:01:47,200
This will finally be
my triumphant return.
44
00:01:47,235 --> 00:01:49,634
A chance to let everyone
revel in my success.
45
00:01:49,669 --> 00:01:51,165
It is time
46
00:01:51,200 --> 00:01:55,501
for Elliott DiMauro
to descend from the clouds.
47
00:01:55,536 --> 00:01:57,601
I'll leave you alone
with your grief.
48
00:02:09,000 --> 00:02:11,367
Finch, I'm having
an antique mirror
49
00:02:11,402 --> 00:02:12,400
delivered
to my office
50
00:02:12,435 --> 00:02:13,399
tomorrow.
51
00:02:13,434 --> 00:02:15,017
Here's the bill.
52
00:02:15,052 --> 00:02:16,566
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
53
00:02:16,601 --> 00:02:18,334
You can't charge this
to the magazine.
54
00:02:18,369 --> 00:02:19,499
And why not?
55
00:02:19,534 --> 00:02:21,534
Because it's for personal use.
56
00:02:21,569 --> 00:02:22,499
How do you know?
57
00:02:22,534 --> 00:02:24,467
Because it's a mirror.
58
00:02:24,502 --> 00:02:26,499
So?
59
00:02:26,534 --> 00:02:30,017
So I can't explain it
any better than that.
60
00:02:30,052 --> 00:02:33,501
As Fashion Editor,
it's my job to look good.
61
00:02:33,536 --> 00:02:34,899
As a Keebler Elf,
62
00:02:34,934 --> 00:02:37,434
it's your job to make
delicious little cookies.
63
00:02:39,701 --> 00:02:40,732
Don't be surprised
64
00:02:40,767 --> 00:02:42,200
if that mirror
talks back to you...
65
00:02:42,235 --> 00:02:43,334
witch.
66
00:02:44,868 --> 00:02:47,033
Dennis?
Got a minute?
67
00:02:50,801 --> 00:02:51,998
Yes?
68
00:02:52,033 --> 00:02:55,365
So I heard all that with Nina.
69
00:02:55,400 --> 00:02:57,566
Yeah.
Did you like that witch line?
70
00:02:57,601 --> 00:03:01,000
Dennis, I see this magazine
as my castle,
71
00:03:01,035 --> 00:03:04,400
and you are,
for lack of a better word,
72
00:03:04,435 --> 00:03:06,634
my gargoyle.
73
00:03:08,300 --> 00:03:09,499
What I'm trying to say is,
74
00:03:09,534 --> 00:03:11,400
you have to make the staff
respect you
75
00:03:11,435 --> 00:03:12,998
the same way they respect me.
76
00:03:13,033 --> 00:03:14,234
Yeah, of course
Nina respects you.
77
00:03:14,269 --> 00:03:15,199
You're the boss,
78
00:03:15,234 --> 00:03:16,933
and she's two paychecks away
79
00:03:16,968 --> 00:03:20,367
from lap dancing
at a Mexican truck stop.
80
00:03:24,100 --> 00:03:27,466
Being the boss
doesn't win me respect.
81
00:03:27,501 --> 00:03:30,667
It's winning respect
that made me the boss.
82
00:03:30,702 --> 00:03:33,265
Ah. I see.
83
00:03:33,300 --> 00:03:34,868
No more for you.
84
00:03:38,868 --> 00:03:39,833
Dennis,
85
00:03:39,868 --> 00:03:41,517
40 years
in the trenches
86
00:03:41,552 --> 00:03:43,132
have taught me
a few tricks,
87
00:03:43,167 --> 00:03:46,767
tricks I have shared
with no one.
88
00:03:46,802 --> 00:03:48,234
Okay, like what?
89
00:03:52,567 --> 00:03:55,200
How to use
perception and position,
90
00:03:55,235 --> 00:03:56,701
light and shadow.
91
00:03:56,736 --> 00:03:58,132
Subtle tactics
92
00:03:58,167 --> 00:04:00,000
that give you
an advantage
93
00:04:00,035 --> 00:04:01,866
over your adversary.
94
00:04:01,901 --> 00:04:04,434
If this is about
stuffing a sock down my pants,
95
00:04:04,469 --> 00:04:06,868
I'm way ahead of you.
96
00:04:09,501 --> 00:04:11,899
It's all about psychology.
97
00:04:11,934 --> 00:04:14,934
What people want,
what they fear,
98
00:04:14,969 --> 00:04:17,018
what makes them vulnerable.
99
00:04:17,053 --> 00:04:19,032
Yeah, I appreciate the advice,
100
00:04:19,067 --> 00:04:21,467
but if you're saying
these little mind games
101
00:04:21,502 --> 00:04:22,901
can change the way people think,
102
00:04:22,936 --> 00:04:24,067
I say no way.
103
00:04:28,667 --> 00:04:32,000
Damn it. I'll try it.
104
00:04:38,834 --> 00:04:41,400
Nina, I need you
to help me find a suit.
105
00:04:41,435 --> 00:04:42,767
Well, well, well.
106
00:04:42,802 --> 00:04:44,065
What?
107
00:04:44,100 --> 00:04:46,200
So now, after all the taunting,
108
00:04:46,235 --> 00:04:47,234
after all the cheap shots,
109
00:04:47,269 --> 00:04:49,399
now you need my help.
110
00:04:49,434 --> 00:04:50,965
That's right.
Now, suddenly,
111
00:04:51,000 --> 00:04:53,167
you want me to do you
a personal favor.
112
00:04:53,202 --> 00:04:54,499
Yeah.
Ha!
113
00:04:54,534 --> 00:04:55,998
I want everyone here
114
00:04:56,033 --> 00:04:57,234
to bear witness
to the fact
115
00:04:57,269 --> 00:04:58,251
that today, I, Nina-
116
00:04:58,286 --> 00:04:59,199
Okay, forget it.
117
00:04:59,234 --> 00:05:00,367
No, no, no.
I'm sorry.
118
00:05:00,402 --> 00:05:01,418
Wait, wait, wait.
119
00:05:01,453 --> 00:05:02,434
Let me help.
Please.
120
00:05:02,469 --> 00:05:03,732
Okay, so, uh...
121
00:05:03,767 --> 00:05:05,501
what do you want this suit
to say?
122
00:05:05,536 --> 00:05:07,098
It's for a memorial service,
123
00:05:07,133 --> 00:05:09,534
so I want it to say
I'll be sad for an hour,
124
00:05:09,569 --> 00:05:11,234
but then,
on my way back to town,
125
00:05:11,269 --> 00:05:13,385
I'm having sex in a limo.
126
00:05:13,420 --> 00:05:15,466
Hugo Boss, charcoal gray.
127
00:05:15,501 --> 00:05:18,300
It's what my tennis pro wore
to my second husband's funeral.
128
00:05:22,400 --> 00:05:24,701
Elliott,
why are you trying so hard?
129
00:05:24,736 --> 00:05:26,818
Because they expect it.
130
00:05:26,853 --> 00:05:28,866
Ever since grade school,
131
00:05:28,901 --> 00:05:31,300
I've always been the trendsetter
in that town,
132
00:05:31,335 --> 00:05:32,968
the guy destined for greatness.
133
00:05:33,003 --> 00:05:34,532
I was the artist.
134
00:05:34,567 --> 00:05:36,450
I had a certain
joie de vivre.
135
00:05:36,485 --> 00:05:39,242
From the looks of your
yearbook picture,
136
00:05:39,277 --> 00:05:42,000
you also had a certain
joie de acne.
137
00:05:42,035 --> 00:05:43,933
What?
138
00:05:43,968 --> 00:05:45,998
Your mom faxed
it over.
139
00:05:46,033 --> 00:05:47,600
Delores and I
are like this.
140
00:05:47,635 --> 00:05:49,167
Give me that.
Give me that.
141
00:05:49,202 --> 00:05:50,899
Don't worry
about it.
142
00:05:50,934 --> 00:05:52,033
Everybody's
yearbook picture
143
00:05:52,068 --> 00:05:54,534
is embar-
144
00:05:54,569 --> 00:05:56,965
Oh, my God!
145
00:05:57,000 --> 00:06:00,167
You were
a little fatty.
146
00:06:02,100 --> 00:06:03,968
"Member,
Model Train Club."
147
00:06:04,003 --> 00:06:05,332
Oh, my gosh.
148
00:06:05,367 --> 00:06:07,434
"Co-manager,
Chess Team."
149
00:06:07,469 --> 00:06:08,432
Chess.
150
00:06:08,467 --> 00:06:09,632
I'm surprised
151
00:06:09,667 --> 00:06:11,667
you weren't in
the marching band.
152
00:06:11,702 --> 00:06:14,332
Whoa, whoa.
153
00:06:14,367 --> 00:06:16,767
Have you ever been invited
to the Gator Bowl?
154
00:06:16,802 --> 00:06:17,732
No...
155
00:06:17,767 --> 00:06:19,367
so shut up.
156
00:06:21,901 --> 00:06:25,132
So the truth comes out.
157
00:06:25,167 --> 00:06:27,334
The legendary Elliott DiMauro
was once...
158
00:06:27,369 --> 00:06:28,566
a nerd.
159
00:06:28,601 --> 00:06:29,968
No, I wasn't.
160
00:06:30,003 --> 00:06:30,998
Nerd.
161
00:06:31,033 --> 00:06:32,183
Ha ha. That's
very funny.
162
00:06:32,218 --> 00:06:33,426
Nerd.
That's not funny.
163
00:06:33,461 --> 00:06:34,634
Nerd.
Oh, yeah? Oh, yeah?
164
00:06:34,669 --> 00:06:35,599
Would a nerd
165
00:06:35,634 --> 00:06:36,834
bring a supermodel
to a funeral
166
00:06:36,869 --> 00:06:37,899
in a stretch limo,
167
00:06:37,934 --> 00:06:40,901
with 400 roses shaped
in a giant tear?
168
00:06:40,936 --> 00:06:41,933
Hmm?
169
00:06:41,968 --> 00:06:44,200
No, but the nerd king might.
170
00:06:47,567 --> 00:06:49,466
Nina, a moment,
please.
171
00:06:49,501 --> 00:06:51,201
Look, why don't we
just skip the part
172
00:06:51,236 --> 00:06:52,901
where you tell me
to pay for the mirror
173
00:06:52,936 --> 00:06:54,300
and get right
to me ignoring you?
174
00:06:54,335 --> 00:06:56,032
Oh, Nina.
175
00:06:56,067 --> 00:06:58,100
How can I convince you
that it would be best
176
00:06:58,135 --> 00:06:59,567
if you paid for the mirror.
177
00:06:59,602 --> 00:07:01,234
Hmm. You can't.
178
00:07:05,534 --> 00:07:06,701
Hmm?
179
00:07:12,734 --> 00:07:13,799
I repeat,
180
00:07:13,834 --> 00:07:15,701
you most likely
can't.
181
00:07:19,968 --> 00:07:21,167
Hmm?
182
00:07:23,267 --> 00:07:24,701
I'll get
my checkbook.
183
00:07:28,334 --> 00:07:29,834
Welcome to
the varsity team,
184
00:07:29,869 --> 00:07:30,799
Dennis.
185
00:07:30,834 --> 00:07:32,867
Can you
teach me more?
186
00:07:32,902 --> 00:07:34,901
Can you show me the way?
187
00:07:37,167 --> 00:07:39,267
Can you help me down?
188
00:07:46,901 --> 00:07:48,432
Sorry I'm late.
189
00:07:48,467 --> 00:07:52,801
Are you going
to rob a train?
190
00:07:52,836 --> 00:07:54,200
Oh, this?
191
00:07:58,033 --> 00:07:59,850
Whoa!
192
00:07:59,885 --> 00:08:01,632
Krakatoa.
193
00:08:01,667 --> 00:08:03,833
It's just a little blemish.
194
00:08:03,868 --> 00:08:06,434
It's like an escape hatch
for your brain.
195
00:08:08,534 --> 00:08:10,201
Can we move on?
196
00:08:10,236 --> 00:08:11,651
Yes, let's.
197
00:08:11,686 --> 00:08:13,043
Item one.
198
00:08:13,078 --> 00:08:14,365
Santa called.
199
00:08:14,400 --> 00:08:16,434
It's a foggy night,
and he wants to borrow Elliott.
200
00:08:18,801 --> 00:08:20,000
I'm so sorry
about your pimple,
201
00:08:20,035 --> 00:08:21,998
Elliott.
202
00:08:22,033 --> 00:08:23,299
How did you know?
203
00:08:23,334 --> 00:08:25,250
I saw you get out
of the cab.
204
00:08:25,285 --> 00:08:27,167
I mean, we're only
19 floors up.
205
00:08:28,534 --> 00:08:29,666
That's it.
206
00:08:29,701 --> 00:08:31,300
I'm out of here.
No, no, no. Wait.
207
00:08:31,335 --> 00:08:32,466
You have
to double-check
208
00:08:32,501 --> 00:08:33,367
the cropping
on these photos.
209
00:08:40,400 --> 00:08:42,801
Oh...
Oh, ho, ho.
210
00:08:44,834 --> 00:08:45,933
What?
211
00:08:45,968 --> 00:08:47,868
I lost my contacts
this morning.
212
00:08:49,467 --> 00:08:50,601
They're fine.
213
00:08:50,636 --> 00:08:51,566
Ah.
214
00:08:51,601 --> 00:08:52,984
Moving on.
215
00:08:53,019 --> 00:08:54,226
Item two.
216
00:08:54,261 --> 00:08:55,399
NASA called,
217
00:08:55,434 --> 00:08:57,434
and they need their
telescopes back.
218
00:08:59,033 --> 00:09:00,032
Okay, enough. Enough.
219
00:09:00,067 --> 00:09:01,850
So I have a little
zit on my nose,
220
00:09:01,885 --> 00:09:03,634
and I have to wear
my old glasses.
221
00:09:03,669 --> 00:09:05,534
Big deal.
222
00:09:10,434 --> 00:09:13,000
I can still outscore
any guy at this magazine.
223
00:09:15,133 --> 00:09:17,899
Take a gander, Zeke.
224
00:09:17,934 --> 00:09:19,567
You couldn't score
in a monkey whorehouse
225
00:09:19,602 --> 00:09:21,868
with a bag of bananas.
226
00:09:25,467 --> 00:09:27,217
Oh, my God.
227
00:09:27,252 --> 00:09:28,968
I'm a nerd!
228
00:09:42,367 --> 00:09:43,799
You wanted to see me?
229
00:09:43,834 --> 00:09:45,834
Elliott's locked himself
in his studio
230
00:09:45,869 --> 00:09:47,901
and won't come out.
231
00:09:47,936 --> 00:09:49,899
I know. What a nerd.
232
00:09:49,934 --> 00:09:52,033
Well, what do you
plan to do about it?
233
00:09:52,068 --> 00:09:53,866
Me? Why me?
234
00:09:53,901 --> 00:09:56,367
Because a photographer's work
is all about confidence,
235
00:09:56,402 --> 00:09:58,401
and when you called him a nerd,
236
00:09:58,436 --> 00:10:00,400
that confidence was shattered.
237
00:10:00,435 --> 00:10:02,751
Oh, please!
238
00:10:02,786 --> 00:10:05,032
Maya...
239
00:10:05,067 --> 00:10:07,950
what's more important
to a bird...
240
00:10:07,985 --> 00:10:10,834
wings or the belief
that he can fly?
241
00:10:10,869 --> 00:10:12,518
Wings.
242
00:10:12,553 --> 00:10:14,132
Wrong.
243
00:10:14,167 --> 00:10:17,701
Witness the penguin,
a flightless bird.
244
00:10:17,736 --> 00:10:19,466
Why?
245
00:10:19,501 --> 00:10:24,167
Because its wings
can't support its body mass?
246
00:10:24,202 --> 00:10:27,165
Wrong again.
247
00:10:27,200 --> 00:10:32,934
Maya, there was a day
when penguins filled the sky...
248
00:10:35,968 --> 00:10:40,634
terrifying nomads
with their angry barking.
249
00:10:42,601 --> 00:10:45,133
Until the day
their confidence was shattered,
250
00:10:45,168 --> 00:10:49,300
and they never flew again.
251
00:10:49,335 --> 00:10:52,332
Ah. I see.
252
00:10:52,367 --> 00:10:54,801
No more for you.
253
00:10:56,968 --> 00:10:59,666
Look, I got models waiting,
254
00:10:59,701 --> 00:11:01,834
and I need the old Elliott back,
255
00:11:01,869 --> 00:11:03,332
so go talk to him.
256
00:11:03,367 --> 00:11:06,232
You're his boss.
You talk to him.
257
00:11:06,267 --> 00:11:10,033
Maya, why do you think
hippos live underground?
258
00:11:10,068 --> 00:11:12,234
All right. I'll talk to him.
259
00:11:24,167 --> 00:11:26,567
Elliott.
260
00:11:29,501 --> 00:11:30,634
Elliott!
What?
261
00:11:30,669 --> 00:11:31,767
Open the door!
262
00:11:31,802 --> 00:11:32,767
Go away!
263
00:11:34,000 --> 00:11:35,300
Elliott,
there are models out here,
264
00:11:35,335 --> 00:11:36,632
waiting for you.
265
00:11:36,667 --> 00:11:38,801
They'll laugh
at me.
266
00:11:38,836 --> 00:11:40,165
No, they won't.
267
00:11:40,200 --> 00:11:41,667
They're too busy
making out with each other.
268
00:11:47,367 --> 00:11:49,933
Elliott, this is nuts.
269
00:11:49,968 --> 00:11:52,234
You're the same person
you were yesterday.
270
00:11:52,269 --> 00:11:54,133
Yeah, and the day
before that
271
00:11:54,168 --> 00:11:55,098
and the day
before that
272
00:11:55,133 --> 00:11:56,734
and all the way
back to ninth grade.
273
00:11:56,769 --> 00:11:58,267
That was
a long time ago.
274
00:11:58,302 --> 00:11:59,766
You've changed.
275
00:11:59,801 --> 00:12:01,998
Ah, I've pretended
to change,
276
00:12:02,033 --> 00:12:04,032
but I've only been
fooling myself.
277
00:12:04,067 --> 00:12:07,767
Look, everybody worries
about fitting in,
278
00:12:07,802 --> 00:12:09,167
but it's no big deal.
279
00:12:09,202 --> 00:12:10,632
Okay? Okay. Now!
280
00:12:10,667 --> 00:12:13,601
Let's take some pictures!
281
00:12:13,636 --> 00:12:14,834
I can't.
282
00:12:19,200 --> 00:12:21,234
Elliott,
I'm gonna tell you something
283
00:12:21,269 --> 00:12:22,666
I never thought I would.
284
00:12:22,701 --> 00:12:27,067
When I first met you,
I thought to myself,
285
00:12:27,102 --> 00:12:30,767
"Now, there is a man."
286
00:12:32,801 --> 00:12:37,133
Sexy, talented, sophisticated...
287
00:12:41,300 --> 00:12:43,934
You really think I'm talented?
288
00:12:43,969 --> 00:12:45,751
Oh, I know you are.
289
00:12:45,786 --> 00:12:47,534
I mean, look at this.
290
00:12:47,569 --> 00:12:49,032
Look at this...
291
00:12:49,067 --> 00:12:50,833
vibrance, this style.
292
00:12:50,868 --> 00:12:53,384
It just screams Elliott DiMauro.
293
00:12:53,419 --> 00:12:55,901
Coincidentally,
so did that model.
294
00:12:55,936 --> 00:12:57,167
Ew.
295
00:12:58,400 --> 00:13:01,334
I mean, there you go.
You're the king.
296
00:13:01,369 --> 00:13:03,634
She screamed that too.
297
00:13:03,669 --> 00:13:04,599
Uh...
298
00:13:04,634 --> 00:13:06,450
Uh, okay, my point is...
299
00:13:06,485 --> 00:13:08,232
you're living the dream.
300
00:13:08,267 --> 00:13:10,550
I bet every guy
at that memorial service
301
00:13:10,585 --> 00:13:12,834
would trade places with you
in a heartbeat.
302
00:13:12,869 --> 00:13:14,399
You're the man!
303
00:13:14,434 --> 00:13:17,165
You're right. I am the man!
304
00:13:17,200 --> 00:13:19,634
Yes! Now let's get
some models in here
305
00:13:19,669 --> 00:13:21,234
and start taking some pictures.
306
00:13:21,269 --> 00:13:22,232
I can't.
307
00:13:22,267 --> 00:13:23,501
I've got a speech to write.
308
00:13:23,536 --> 00:13:24,532
What?
309
00:13:24,567 --> 00:13:26,734
Yeah, I'm going
to that memorial service
310
00:13:26,769 --> 00:13:28,701
to notify
the citizens
311
00:13:28,736 --> 00:13:30,599
of Loserville,
New Jersey,
312
00:13:30,634 --> 00:13:34,067
that their top export
is Elliott DiMauro.
313
00:13:34,102 --> 00:13:35,518
That's not what I meant.
314
00:13:35,553 --> 00:13:36,934
Oh, I know what you meant.
315
00:13:36,969 --> 00:13:38,566
By the way,
316
00:13:38,601 --> 00:13:41,400
that stuff
about the first day we met?
317
00:13:41,435 --> 00:13:43,534
I knew you wanted me.
318
00:13:50,767 --> 00:13:53,199
Yeah?
319
00:13:53,234 --> 00:13:55,734
Dennis, I'm very
disappointed in you.
320
00:13:55,769 --> 00:13:57,699
What do you mean?
321
00:13:57,734 --> 00:13:58,968
Don't play innocent with me.
322
00:13:59,003 --> 00:14:00,732
Nina's doing your job.
323
00:14:00,767 --> 00:14:03,267
Come on. You're exaggerating.
324
00:14:06,100 --> 00:14:09,767
Jack Gallo's office.
May I help you?
325
00:14:09,802 --> 00:14:11,666
So what's the harm?
326
00:14:11,701 --> 00:14:13,934
I trusted you with
my secret power tips.
327
00:14:13,969 --> 00:14:17,767
Now you're using them
for evil.
328
00:14:17,802 --> 00:14:19,666
Evil in whose eyes?
329
00:14:19,701 --> 00:14:21,784
I'm cutting you off
from training,
330
00:14:21,819 --> 00:14:23,868
and I forbid you
to use my knowledge.
331
00:14:25,667 --> 00:14:27,550
Perhaps
it's too late.
332
00:14:27,585 --> 00:14:29,399
Perhaps the student
333
00:14:29,434 --> 00:14:31,300
has outgrown
the master.
334
00:14:31,335 --> 00:14:33,299
I speak...
335
00:14:33,334 --> 00:14:34,501
hypothetically,
of course.
336
00:14:34,536 --> 00:14:35,667
Of course.
337
00:14:38,701 --> 00:14:39,666
Cigar?
338
00:14:39,701 --> 00:14:41,300
Don't mind if I do.
339
00:14:44,300 --> 00:14:46,467
Ah, the tiny cigar trick.
340
00:14:46,502 --> 00:14:48,265
Interesting.
341
00:14:48,300 --> 00:14:49,701
I think
I'll pour myself a drink.
342
00:14:49,736 --> 00:14:50,666
Allow me.
343
00:14:50,701 --> 00:14:53,766
I insist.
I insist.
344
00:14:53,801 --> 00:14:58,000
I hope you enjoy
my scotch.
345
00:14:58,035 --> 00:14:59,634
I always have.
346
00:15:02,567 --> 00:15:04,133
Oh.
347
00:15:09,634 --> 00:15:15,067
Oh, my shirt! I just bought it.
It's going to ruin...
348
00:15:15,102 --> 00:15:19,734
Ha. The dribble glass.
349
00:15:19,769 --> 00:15:21,499
I guess you win.
350
00:15:21,534 --> 00:15:23,434
Should have seen it coming.
351
00:15:27,601 --> 00:15:29,232
That tastes weird.
352
00:15:29,267 --> 00:15:32,300
Perhaps it's the chili sauce
I poured in it.
353
00:15:32,335 --> 00:15:35,467
Ha ha! Face.
354
00:15:35,502 --> 00:15:37,098
I...
355
00:15:37,133 --> 00:15:39,868
I'm severely allergic
to chili peppers.
356
00:15:39,903 --> 00:15:42,334
My throat cuts off completely.
357
00:15:42,369 --> 00:15:43,933
What?
358
00:15:43,968 --> 00:15:46,217
I... I'm feeling dizzy.
359
00:15:46,252 --> 00:15:48,467
Oh, my... I'm sorry.
360
00:15:48,502 --> 00:15:50,599
Antihistamines.
361
00:15:50,634 --> 00:15:51,934
I'm going to the pharmacy.
362
00:15:51,969 --> 00:15:53,768
I'll be right back!
363
00:15:53,803 --> 00:15:55,532
Don't die on me!
364
00:15:55,567 --> 00:15:57,501
Lord, take me instead!
365
00:16:06,067 --> 00:16:08,100
Face.
366
00:16:20,467 --> 00:16:21,967
Elliott, there you are.
367
00:16:22,002 --> 00:16:23,268
What are you
doing here?
368
00:16:23,303 --> 00:16:24,735
You're making
a big mistake.
369
00:16:24,770 --> 00:16:26,132
I don't want you to get up there
370
00:16:26,167 --> 00:16:28,501
and make some
stupid, self-serving speech.
371
00:16:28,536 --> 00:16:29,998
Oh, yeah?
372
00:16:30,033 --> 00:16:31,534
You see that guy by the flag?
373
00:16:31,569 --> 00:16:34,567
That's Deke Williams.
374
00:16:34,602 --> 00:16:35,532
When I was 14,
375
00:16:35,567 --> 00:16:36,968
he pulled my jacket
over my head,
376
00:16:37,003 --> 00:16:37,968
yanked my pants down,
377
00:16:38,003 --> 00:16:38,933
and pushed me
378
00:16:38,968 --> 00:16:40,167
into the girls'
locker room.
379
00:16:40,202 --> 00:16:41,734
Kids do dumb things.
380
00:16:41,769 --> 00:16:42,699
Another time,
381
00:16:42,734 --> 00:16:44,133
he cornered me in this
very cafetorium,
382
00:16:44,168 --> 00:16:45,834
dumped mashed potatoes
on my head,
383
00:16:45,869 --> 00:16:47,033
yanked my pants down,
384
00:16:47,068 --> 00:16:48,032
and pushed me
385
00:16:48,067 --> 00:16:49,100
into the girls'
locker room.
386
00:16:49,135 --> 00:16:50,965
That is so mean.
387
00:16:51,000 --> 00:16:52,334
Anyway, every morning
for four years,
388
00:16:52,369 --> 00:16:53,499
I didn't
want to wake up
389
00:16:53,534 --> 00:16:55,133
because I knew
when I got to school,
390
00:16:55,168 --> 00:16:56,199
someone, somehow
391
00:16:56,234 --> 00:16:59,501
was gonna remind me
that I didn't fit in,
392
00:16:59,536 --> 00:17:01,133
that I was nobody...
393
00:17:01,168 --> 00:17:02,299
I'm so sorry.
394
00:17:02,334 --> 00:17:03,334
and that's
why I'm here.
395
00:17:03,369 --> 00:17:04,299
That's why I want
396
00:17:04,334 --> 00:17:05,734
to rub their faces
in my success,
397
00:17:05,769 --> 00:17:06,734
and I don't
expect you
398
00:17:06,769 --> 00:17:07,965
to understand.
399
00:17:08,000 --> 00:17:09,000
Oh, you'd be
surprised.
400
00:17:09,035 --> 00:17:10,098
What do you mean?
401
00:17:10,133 --> 00:17:11,734
I know what it's like
to be bullied
402
00:17:11,769 --> 00:17:12,699
or made fun of,
403
00:17:12,734 --> 00:17:14,033
because maybe you're
a little clumsy
404
00:17:14,068 --> 00:17:15,699
or a little heavy
405
00:17:15,734 --> 00:17:17,417
or maybe you wear
corrective shoes.
406
00:17:17,452 --> 00:17:19,100
You know what the kids
used to call me?
407
00:17:19,135 --> 00:17:20,532
Crisco.
408
00:17:20,567 --> 00:17:23,067
Because I was "fat in the can."
409
00:17:23,102 --> 00:17:24,567
Pretty funny, huh?
410
00:17:24,602 --> 00:17:26,065
You get it?
411
00:17:26,100 --> 00:17:28,701
I mean, that's the kind of thing
that could warp you for life!
412
00:17:28,736 --> 00:17:29,699
Well, who's fat now, Gina?
413
00:17:29,734 --> 00:17:32,667
Calm down, Maya.
This is about me.
414
00:17:35,868 --> 00:17:37,766
Yo, Deke.
415
00:17:37,801 --> 00:17:39,834
Elliott, is that really you?
416
00:17:39,869 --> 00:17:41,000
Yeah, it's really me.
417
00:17:41,035 --> 00:17:42,098
Wow.
418
00:17:42,133 --> 00:17:43,800
So who's your friend?
419
00:17:43,835 --> 00:17:45,432
Oh, this is Maya Gallo.
420
00:17:45,467 --> 00:17:48,267
No, I mean the one on your nose.
421
00:17:48,302 --> 00:17:50,334
Just kidding.
422
00:17:50,369 --> 00:17:52,018
Just kidding.
423
00:17:52,053 --> 00:17:53,377
You know me.
424
00:17:53,412 --> 00:17:54,666
Seriously,
425
00:17:54,701 --> 00:17:57,000
you're looking
really good.
426
00:17:57,035 --> 00:17:58,965
You lost some weight...
427
00:17:59,000 --> 00:18:02,200
especially in the, uh,
scalp area.
428
00:18:02,235 --> 00:18:06,267
Just kidding.
Just kidding.
429
00:18:06,302 --> 00:18:08,866
So anyway, uh...
430
00:18:08,901 --> 00:18:10,332
what are you doing these days?
431
00:18:10,367 --> 00:18:13,200
Well, Deke, my man,
I'm glad you asked.
432
00:18:13,235 --> 00:18:15,998
Remember
how the Ferret used to say
433
00:18:16,033 --> 00:18:20,234
if you believed in yourself,
one day you'd end up a winner?
434
00:18:20,269 --> 00:18:23,065
No.
435
00:18:23,100 --> 00:18:24,332
Come on, come on.
436
00:18:24,367 --> 00:18:26,367
Remember how he used
to pull you into his office
437
00:18:26,402 --> 00:18:28,033
and say that you were
capable of anything?
438
00:18:28,068 --> 00:18:30,667
That you were special?
439
00:18:30,702 --> 00:18:33,267
He hit me with a pen once.
440
00:18:33,302 --> 00:18:35,501
Oh.
441
00:18:39,734 --> 00:18:41,934
I guess he was just
spouting off to me.
442
00:18:45,033 --> 00:18:47,033
It's good to see you, Deke.
443
00:18:52,067 --> 00:18:53,165
I can't believe
444
00:18:53,200 --> 00:18:55,200
you didn't
rub his face in it.
445
00:18:55,235 --> 00:18:56,933
I didn't have to.
446
00:18:56,968 --> 00:19:00,667
No wonder why you
always got pantsed.
447
00:19:00,702 --> 00:19:04,367
Well, welcome,
friends, and, uh...
448
00:19:04,402 --> 00:19:06,265
former students.
449
00:19:06,300 --> 00:19:07,968
We are here to
celebrate the life
450
00:19:08,003 --> 00:19:10,265
of Jasper Farrell.
451
00:19:10,300 --> 00:19:12,367
I remember
Jasper Farrell...
452
00:19:12,402 --> 00:19:13,599
I can't believe you.
453
00:19:13,634 --> 00:19:15,517
At least
do your speech.
454
00:19:15,552 --> 00:19:17,400
No. I'm taking the high road.
455
00:19:17,435 --> 00:19:18,666
So at this time,
456
00:19:18,701 --> 00:19:22,033
does anyone wish
to share any special thoughts?
457
00:19:22,068 --> 00:19:24,100
Right here.
Special thoughts.
458
00:19:24,135 --> 00:19:26,133
Would you like to speak, sir?
459
00:19:26,168 --> 00:19:27,167
I, uh...
460
00:19:27,202 --> 00:19:29,035
Sure. Sure.
461
00:19:29,070 --> 00:19:30,833
Please come up.
462
00:19:30,868 --> 00:19:33,084
Hey, why don't you
dump DiMoron,
463
00:19:33,119 --> 00:19:35,300
and step up
to the Deke, huh?
464
00:19:38,734 --> 00:19:39,965
I'm Elliott DiMauro,
465
00:19:40,000 --> 00:19:41,833
and I would just like to say
466
00:19:41,868 --> 00:19:43,701
that Mr. Farrell
was a wonderful man
467
00:19:43,736 --> 00:19:45,933
and an inspiring teacher.
468
00:19:45,968 --> 00:19:48,299
Say, what do you
do for a living?
469
00:19:48,334 --> 00:19:53,200
A teacher who taught me
how to be the bigger man.
470
00:19:53,235 --> 00:19:55,834
Ever date a supermodel?
471
00:19:55,869 --> 00:19:59,232
Anyway...
472
00:19:59,267 --> 00:20:01,467
I will always appreciate
the way he singled me out
473
00:20:01,502 --> 00:20:03,567
and made me feel special.
474
00:20:03,602 --> 00:20:05,534
I'll miss him.
475
00:20:07,334 --> 00:20:09,267
In fact, uh...
476
00:20:11,167 --> 00:20:16,200
In fact, I just realized
how much I'll miss him,
477
00:20:16,235 --> 00:20:18,299
and I really feel
bad for those
478
00:20:18,334 --> 00:20:21,300
who will never have
the privilege of knowing him.
479
00:20:21,335 --> 00:20:22,534
Like Cindy Crawford.
480
00:20:22,569 --> 00:20:24,400
Oh, shut up.
481
00:20:24,435 --> 00:20:26,098
Hey.
482
00:20:26,133 --> 00:20:28,434
I like crazy chicks.
483
00:20:28,469 --> 00:20:30,834
Just kidding.
484
00:20:32,701 --> 00:20:33,866
Well, thank you.
485
00:20:33,901 --> 00:20:36,667
Uh, does anyone else
wish to speak?
486
00:20:36,702 --> 00:20:38,132
Deke.
487
00:20:38,167 --> 00:20:39,934
Deke, Deke,
Deke,
488
00:20:39,969 --> 00:20:41,866
Deke, Deke,
489
00:20:41,901 --> 00:20:44,868
Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh.
Deke, Deke, Deke, Deke.
490
00:20:44,903 --> 00:20:46,568
Ooh, ooh, ooh,
ooh, ooh, ooh,
491
00:20:46,603 --> 00:20:48,234
ooh, ooh, ooh,
ooh, ooh, ooh...
492
00:20:50,601 --> 00:20:53,767
Hello, Deke.
493
00:20:54,834 --> 00:20:55,866
Thank you.
494
00:20:55,901 --> 00:20:57,866
Thank you very much.
495
00:20:57,901 --> 00:21:00,100
I'm not much
of a speaker.
496
00:21:00,135 --> 00:21:02,901
I'm more of a doer...
497
00:21:06,400 --> 00:21:07,601
but Farrell
was a good guy.
498
00:21:07,636 --> 00:21:08,599
I mean,
499
00:21:08,634 --> 00:21:09,833
his quizzes
were hard,
500
00:21:09,868 --> 00:21:10,998
but they prepared us
501
00:21:11,033 --> 00:21:12,701
for the hardest
test of all.
502
00:21:12,736 --> 00:21:14,466
Life.
503
00:21:14,501 --> 00:21:16,501
Can you believe this guy?
504
00:21:16,536 --> 00:21:18,601
But you've
got to be tough.
505
00:21:18,636 --> 00:21:20,351
Like at
the hardware store.
506
00:21:20,386 --> 00:21:22,067
I see somebody
slacking off,
507
00:21:22,102 --> 00:21:23,933
I kick a little butt,
508
00:21:23,968 --> 00:21:25,467
you know
what I'm saying?
509
00:21:25,502 --> 00:21:27,451
Because that's me.
510
00:21:27,486 --> 00:21:29,365
That's the Dekester,
511
00:21:29,400 --> 00:21:32,767
and what you see
is what you get.
512
00:21:51,868 --> 00:21:55,434
♪ Life keeps bringin' me
Back to you ♪
513
00:21:55,469 --> 00:21:59,132
♪ Keeps bringin' me home ♪
514
00:21:59,167 --> 00:22:03,334
♪ It don't matter
What I want to do ♪
515
00:22:03,369 --> 00:22:07,501
♪ 'Cause it's got
A mind of its own ♪
516
00:22:09,734 --> 00:22:13,200
♪ Life keeps bringin' me
Back to you ♪♪
517
00:22:13,250 --> 00:22:17,800
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