Original subtitles

- Uhhh, I'm sorry, let me put you on hold again.

- No! No, do NOT put me on hold again!

I wanna talk to your supervisor!

- One moment please.

- No, no, but I just-- Ahh!

[ hold music plays ]

- Who's she upset with now?

- Zapathon. She ordered something

and they sent her the wrong thing.

- Hi, this is Lisa, what seems to be the problem?

- The problem is that I ordered a pink furry phone case!

And you people sent me a spray-tan gun!

- Okay, please read me the serial number

located on the bottom of the item.

- Wait a second while I get it outta the stupid box.

- Happy anniversary.

- Oh, baby.

- Uh-huh. - Okay.

The serial number is: 939-734

11785.

- Okay perfect, that is the correct serial number.

Is there anything else I can help you with?

- Yeah! I didn't order the spray-tan gun!

- One moment.

- No no, do not put me on-- Ahh!

- Wow, it's a flashlight.

- Yeah! Look... See how bright it is?

- Ugh!

Yeah, it's really bright.

- And it's rechargeable, and waterproof...

...and I should go get you a better gift, shouldn't I?

- Hurry.

- Hi, I'm back.

- Good, what'd you find out?

- Nothing, I just had to blow my nose.

- Ugh! Well, what are we gonna do

about this spray-tan gun?

- Is it broken? - No!

I mean, I dunno...

I don't even know how to use one a'these-

No, it's not broken.

[ grunting ]

[ kids chattering ]

- Uh, why are you up on that ladder?

- Throwing darts at our ceiling?

- 'Cause some kid let a balloon float up there,

and I mean to get it down.

- Well...

Isn't there a safer way to get a balloon down?

- Hey, I don't tell you how to be a snotty kid.

- And it should not do that.

- Oh, 'sup peoples?

- Hey, Hen. - Hi, Henry.

- Hey, are you doing anything after school?

- Yep, I'm workin' on my black belt.

- Your black belt?

- I didn't know you were taking karate.

- I'm not.

I'm taking a belt-making class.

All I have left to do is punch the holes and add the buckle.

- Man. - Wow.

Y'know, I bet Charlotte would love a new hand-made belt.

- And you'd lose that bet.

- Well, I'll totally make you a belt!

- No, no, I have plenty of belts and I--

- Here! I just need to measure your waist.

- Nuh- uh, I don't want you to meas--

- No seriously, it's fine. - I got this.

- Boosh!

- Okay, let's see how big around you are...

- Okay, no girl would like this.

- There! I'm gonna make you a new belt

with a giant flower buckle on it that says girl power!

- No, no, there's no need. - Good idea.

- Tee hee.

- Yeah, you think you're real cute.

Well, maybe I'll tell that girl Amy in science class

that you have a crush on her, and then

she'll make you a necklace made outta--

- Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait. - What?

- Someone left this note in my locker.

- Well, what's it say? - It says, "I know your secret.

I know what you did on Wednesday night."

- What secret? - I...

I only have one secret.

That I'm Kid Danger.

- Uh-oh. - Yeah.

Wait, what was I doing on Wednesday night?

- Uh... oh...

You and Ray stopped those three armed men

from robbing the supermarket.

- Naw, we never fought any guys with three arms.

- No, three men who were armed.

- Oh yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Then that proves that whoever wrote this note

knows I'm Kid Danger.

Oh, this is bad. This is bad.

- Real bad.

- We gotta tell Ray that someone knows my secret identity.

- Boosh!

- Oww!

Who dropped this dart in my flesh?

Oww!

Can somebody come pull this outta me?

- Uh, naw-- - Gotta go over there.

- It all just kind of happened.

- My dad was an irresponsible scientist.

- I wanted an afterschool job.

- And by accident, he made me indestructible.

Ah!

- I went into this crazy store and met

a pretty interesting guy.

- I'm going to blow your mind.

Now I protect the good citizens of Swellview

who call me... - And he turned out to be...

- You know the name. - Captain Man!

- That's right, Henry.

In time, I realized that being a superhero

is a lot to handle alone.

- He wanted some help. - I needed a sidekick.

- I, Henry Hart...

- Pledge to never ever ever tell anyone...

- That I'm Captain Man's secret sidekick.

- It is done. - Now we blow bubbles.

- And fight crime. - Feels good.

- Call it. - Up the tube!

Oh, my boot.

- Ha!

[ music ]

- And you're a hundred percent sure you didn't tell anyone?

- I told nobody. - Well...

Did you send any emails, or text messages

where you mentioned that you're Kid Danger?

- Oh, wait, no, yeah...

last week I did stand on my roof naked and yell,

"Hey! Everybody! Look at me!

I'm Henry Hart and I'm Kid Danger! "

- You did that naked? - No, I didn't do it at all!

- Oh, you're joking? - Yeah.

- This is joke time for you?

Okay, I'm sorry... Are you Jimmy Fallon?

Hey, later on, are you going to get some tacos with QuestLove?

- I don't know why you're mad at me.

- Dude, if anyone knows that you're Kid Danger,

they can follow you here.

They can come down here and figure out

that I'm Captain Man!

- Oh, so this is all about you?

- No.

It's mostly about me.

[ machine beeps ]

- Ah! I got it! I got something!

- What'd you find?

- Yeah yeah, what'd ya find, what'd ya find?

- I scanned this note with this bio-metric particle scanner...

- Right. - Right.

- Now you'll see.

On this note I found some DNA.

- D-GEN-EYES?

- DNA! - Oh.

- And...

The person who created this note is...

Henry Hart.

- What?

- Dude...

Of course my DNA is on the note!

I brought it here! It was in my hands!

- Oh, yeah. - Oh, yeah.

[ spraying ]

- Oh, oh...

- What is goin' on?

- Oh yeah!

I'm ready for Hollywood!

- Mrs. Hendricks, you're up.

Get in the tent and take your robe off.

- Oh, I will!

- Okay, Piper?

Piper, what is happening in our house?

- I'm giving people spray tans.

- Why?

- 'Cause most spray tan places charge 50 bucks.

- Piper does it for 20. - That's right.

- Mom, Dad, are you really gonna--

Okay, what are you wearing?

- Oh, it's our anniversary, so we're wearing

the exact same clothes we wore on our first date.

- It was my idea. - Yeah, I figured.

Are you seriously letting Piper run a tanning salon in here?

- Yeah, why not?

- It keeps her from screaming at us.

[ funk music plays ]

- ? Girl you know I love ya ?

? Oh baby ?

? And I really wanna show you how ?

? I'm gonna smooch you now ?

- Whoa!

- Oh wow!

If this doesn't get my husband to forget about

his toy trains, I don't know what will!

- Yeah, he's a lucky man.

- Okay, I got a ton a'homework to do.

- Yeah, I know, me, too.

- Oh, and remember, stay on guard--

you don't know who it is out there

that knows that you're Kid Danger.

- Right.

- Hey, can I have a sip of that?

- Nah.

- ? Girl, you know I love ya ?

- That's right, Henry, I know.

[ music ]

[ glass shatters ]

- Uhhh...

[ stammering ]

- Y'know you're not saying actual words.

- So, you left the note in my locker.

- Uh-huh.

'Cause...

I know your secret.

- Oh man. - C'mon, Hen,

how long did you think you could keep that kind of secret

from your best friend?

- Oh, Charlotte knows. - I meant me.

- Oh, right, right, I-I didn't mean--

- Wait-- Charlotte knows? - Okay, look!

You can't tell anyone about this, ever.

As my friend, you gotta promise never to tell anyone.

- Uh, if we're such good friends,

how come I had to find out the truth

about you in the streets?

- 'Cause...

I... I was... I...

- Still not words.

- Ah!

- It's even on my hands.

- Okay, if you're waiting to be spray-tanned,

hang out in the couch area.

If you've already been spray-tanned,

wait on the stairs over there 'til ya dry out.

- Hey what's that? - Just lemonade.

- Ah, perfect.

- So, don't you love how busted Henry is?

- Wha-- what do you mean?

- Jasper found out! Y'know...

Henry's secret?

- Wait! You know about it?

- Sure. - How?

- Jasper told me.

Henry shoulda waited for Jasper to go see that movie.

- Whoa, wait wait... What movie?

- Henry promised Jasper that he'd go see

Galaxy Wars 10 with him on Saturday night.

- Yeah?

- But my mom was dying to see it on opening night,

so she took Henry with her to see it on Wednesday,

and then Jasper found out.

- And Jasper thinks that's Henry's secret?

That he saw Galaxy Wars 10 without him?

- Yeah.

What? What other secret does Henry have?

- I dunno, none, nothing, I dunno! What?

- I woulda told you, but--

- I don't need to hear a bunch of excuses.

- No, I just need you to understand why--

[ watch beeps ]

- Well...

I guess I don't need to hide this from you anymore.

- Hey, it's me.

- Hey Kid, we have a little emergency.

- Yeah, no kidding.

- It looks like the Malachi Brothers broke out of jail,

and they're headed for the demolition derby.

- Oh, okay. Meet you in the Man Cave?

- Nah, I'll hop in the Man Copter

and I'll pick you up on the way to the derby.

- Copy that.

- Th... that was Captain Man!

As a hologram! Calling you!

- Yeah.

- So Jasper left the note in Henry's locker.

- Mm-hmm.

- Oh man, I gotta go tell Henry!

- Wait! - What?

- I'm done with this glass.

- Henry!

- But I still don't understand how you were talking

to a hologram of Captain Man on your own watch.

- Yeah, I don't really know how it works.

Schwoz does. You can ask him.

- What's a Schwoz?

Wait, what's that?

- I'm gonna blow a bubble.

- You're gonna blow a bubble?

- I'm gonna blow your mind.

- How do I look?

Good?

- Jasper left the note!

- I know.

- But... Hi, Jasper!

Why is Jasper's mouth hangin' open?

And why are you dressed like that in front of Jasper?

- You're Kid Danger?

- Yeah, you knew that.

You were the one who-- Oh.

Jasper fell asleep. - No, he fainted!

- Well, why?

- Because he didn't know that you're Kid Danger!

He thought that your secret was that you saw

Galaxy Wars 10 without him!

- Well, how'd he find that out?

- Who cares?

You just showed Japser that you're Kid Danger!

- Ah geez!

- What are we gonna do? - I don't--

- [ phone beeps ] - Ah!

- It's Ray. - I know it's Ray!

- Hey.

- Hey, it's me, Ray. - I know it's Ray!

- The cops captured the Malachi Brothers,

so there's no more emergency.

- Eh, maybe there is.

- Wh... what does that mean?

- Just-- you better come over here.

- And bring the memory wiper!

[ groans ]

- So... you ready for your anniversary present?

- Right here?

- Yep, but it's in the garage. I'll go get it.

- Okay, people, I'm gonna take a quick bathroom break.

[ groaning ]

- Hey, how's it goin'?

- Hold this, would ya?

- Sure.

[ doorbell rings ]

- I'll get that.

Oh, hello.

You here for a tan?

- No.

Are you running an illegal tanning salon here?

- No. Oh, no.

- Well, you just offered me a tan.

And you're holding a spray-tan gun.

And your house is full of people with fake tans.

- Whaddaya mean?

- I mean it's illegal to run a tanning salon without a license.

- Am I under arrest? - Yep.

- All right.

- Y'know today's my wedding anniversary.

- Happy anniversary.

- You took an oath.

- It's not my fault!

- It was your job to make sure-- - I know that!

It was just a weird misunderstanding!

- Hey!

Jasper's regaining consciousness.

- Look...

It's just way too dangerous to let anyone else

know who we are, or where the Man Cave is.

And that means...

We have to erase Jasper's memory.

- But...

when you zap someone's brain with that thing,

doesn't it erase all their memories?

- Well, not all.

I mean, he'll still remember how to breathe and eat

and that's about it.

[ groans ]

- Hey, can I...

Can I at least have a few minutes alone with him,

before you, you know, wipe his brain?

I mean...

we've been friends ever since we were five.

- Yeah, sure thing, kid. - Thank you.

- Where do you want us to go?

- The closet? - The closet?

- Yep, get in the closet. Come on. Come on.

There you go.

[ groans ]

- What happened?

- I uh... I zapped you.

Accidentally.

- Wow. I can't believe this.

My best friend is Kid Danger.

- Dude, listen.

I wanted to tell you a long time ago.

But I took an oath.

- I totally get it.

- Thanks.

And y'know, it's...

Give me a minute. - Well, hurry up!

- Who... - Eh.

- Hey...

Remember this?

- Sure! You and me at Camp Tomahawk.

- Yep.

We were cute, huh?

- Hey, remember that time at the archery range?

When Billy Brody started beatin' me up,

and you jumped in to help me?

- Yep, and then we both got beat up.

[ laughing ]

[ Jasper sighs ]

- I'll never forget that.

- Well...

- You've always been a good friend to me...

Kid Danger.

I'm proud of you.

- That's it. Ray, Charlotte, get out here.

- Captain Man!

Wow, he's right here in your room.

- I'm here, too. - Yeah, uh-huh.

- We're not doin' this. - We have to do it.

- No, I'm not letting you erase Jasper's brain.

- Uh, what?

- Don't worry about it.

- He could tell anyone, even if he doesn't mean to!

- I'll never tell anybody!

- Oh really?

What if some big bad evil criminal captures you

and threatens to cut all your toes off

if you don't tell 'em everything you know!

- I'd tell him everything I know.

- Dude!

- My toes! What am I without my toes?

- Henry, he's a security risk.

- No, we leave Jasper the way he is...

or else...

I can't be Kid Danger anymore.

- Henry...

- You're not gonna quit being Kid Danger.

- I don't wanna quit.

But if you're gonna erase all the memories

from my oldest friend's brain...

then...

Then I don't want this anymore.

- Ah, put that back in your pants.

- Wait, does that mean you're saying--

- Yes, yes, yes.

Jasper can keep his stupid brain the way it is.

- Really?

- Yes, I've said yes five times now.

- Wow, this is amazing!

- Just take it easy.

- Ooh! I can even help you fight bad guys and stuff!

- Uhhh... - I don't think...

- That's not a good... - Oh c'mon! It's my dream!

- Oh. Sorry, I just got a tan downstairs

and I was looking for the bathroom,

and I thought...

- Whoa! Captain Man?

And Kid Danger without his mask!

You're Piper's brother!

- Uh, well...

- Whoa!

Wait 'til I tell everyone I know!

- You gonna whine about this one?

- Nah, do it.

[ mumbles ]

- Hey, what's your name?

[ moans ]

- All right, Jasper, you really wanna help us out?

- Sure! - Good.

Take this guy out the window, leave him on the sidewalk.

- Aye aye, Captain Man!

[ grunts ]

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