Original subtitles

- Previously, on Henry Danger...

- I got--

- What right do I have to take you around with me

and put you in all kinds of dangerous situations?

- Hey! I wanted this job and you need a sidekick.

- I wish we could make Henry indestructible.

- Too bad the machine that made me indestructible was destroyed.

- The Densitizer was never destroyed.

- Piper's cooking dinner?!

- Shh!

- Well, I'm getting' outta here.

- The Densitizer's been here the whole time I've known you?

- Yes. - Then why can't Henry

be densitized?

- Because it won't work.

- Oh jeez!

- I say you can be made indestructible.

- Dinner's ready!

[ screams ]

- Wait! No, no, no... Retreat! Retreat!

- We are doing this again tomorrow night.

- Woah!

- You okay? How do you feel?

- Maybe we should test--

I'm okay!

- Oh my god! You're indestructible!

- Yeah, I am!

- And here we go. First joke of the morning.

What did Jay-Z call his wife before they got married?

- I dunno, what?

- Fiancee!

- Oh, man. This is not good.

- Charlotte. Charlotte. Charlotte. Charlotte...

- What's up? - Okay...

You remember how, yesterday, after I was densitized,

you and Schwoz asked me if I had any side-effects,

and I said no, I didn't have any side-effects?

- Yeah?

- I think I have a side-effect.

- Ugh, I knew it.

So what side-effect do you have?

Did you grow eyeballs on your butt?!?

- No!

- No! No!

- Then what side-effect do you have?

- When I laugh, fire comes out my--

- Henry!

- D'ah! Piper's at my door.

- Okay, but tell me what the side effect you--

- I-I can't talk right now! Just come over!

Okay Piper, just a sec--

- Where are my headphones?

- Did you just kick open my door?

- Mom said you had 'em yesterday!

Where are they?

- Wait...

It wasn't even locked!

Will you get outta my closet?

- What is this thing?

- Oh, it's a Vomiting Vinnie doll.

- Why would they call--

- Ahh! Gross!

- Uh, did you just see that?

- I can't see anything! Your doll vomited in my eyes!

Mom! Henry's doll vomited in my eyes!

- It all just kind of happened.

- My dad was an irresponsible scientist.

- I wanted an after-school job.

- And by accident, he made me indestructible.

Ah!

- I went into this crazy store and met a pretty interesting guy

- I'm going to blow your mind.

Now I protect the good citizens of Swellview.

who call me...

- He turned out to be...

- You know the name.

- Captain Man!

- That's right, Henry.

In time, I realized that being a superhero

is a lot to handle alone.

- He wanted some help.

- I needed a sidekick.

- I, Henry Hart... - Pledge to never ever

ever tell anyone... - That I'm Captain Man's

secret sidekick. - It is done.

- Now we blow bubbles.

- And fight crime.

- Feels good.

- Call it.

- Up the tube!

Oh, my boot.

- Ha !

- I'm so mad.

- Well, baby, the doll's name is Vomiting Vinnie.

What'd you expect him to do?

Vinnie?

- Hey, Mrs. Hart? - Yeah?

- How much does it cost to buy four boneless chicken... um...

- Chicken breasts?

- Yeah, chicken... those.

- Dude, just go buy everything on that grocery list.

- But it's gonna be almost a hundred bucks!

Why do I have to pay? - Hey!

Who let four dogs eat the dinner

I spent all day making yesterday?

- Me, Jasper.

- Y'know, we could all go out to eat tonight.

- No! - But maybe...

- I'm making dinner

and everyone's going to put it in their mouth,

chew it, swallow it, and love it!

- Hey honey. I found the bin full of marbles.

- Oh yay, the marbles.

- Yeah, where do you want 'em?

- Why don't you take 'em upstairs and put 'em

in my closet by my other marbles?

- Good call.

- Hey, happy Saturday.

- Oh, hey, Charlotte.

- Henry, Charlotte's here.

- She's here now?

- Yeah.

- Aw, Henry.

- So, I was listening to the radio, and then NoJo says,

"First joke of the morning. What did Jay-Z call his wife

before they got married?" And then Dangl's like--

- Just tell me what side-effect you have!

- Tickle my foot.

- Eh, I don't do that.

- Tickle my foot!

- Haha...ah!

[ screams ]

- Shh! Shh! Shh! Shh!

Don't scream or my parents will come out!

- But fire just shot out of your mouth!

- I know. I know. It happens when I laugh.

And don't say I told you so. - I told you so,

I told you so, I told you so!

[ phone rings ]

- Ah! It's Ray! It's Ray! - Well, answer it!

- Okay, hide.

- Why do I have to hide?

- I don't know, I'm panicking, just hide okay, hurry...

- Henry! You gotta hurry up and get to Junk-N-Stuff.

I got somethin' really cool to show ya!

- Okay, I'll get there as soon as I can.

- Right. Oh, and Henry... - Yeah.

- Why is Charlotte hiding in that bush?

- Hey, you tell me.

- Hey, Ray.

- Hi, Ray.

- "Hey, Ray. Hi, Ray?"

That's all you guys are gonna say?

You don't see this gigantic cannon?

- Aw, hey, cannon. - Hi, cannon.

- Come on! Look at this baby!

- Yeah, it's-it's ugh...

- This is just like the cannon that fired the first shot

at the Battle of Swellview.

Just imagine this cannon going BOOM!

and then the enemy was probably all "Ahh..."

and I bet people watching were like "Whaaat?

- Where'd you get this thing?

- Oh, that vintage weapons store that went outta business.

- Always Loaded?

- Yeah.

- 'Kay, Ray, I gotta talk to you.

- Yeah, he's really gotta talk to you.

- Alright, well, just first, flip that closed sign to open,

will ya?

- Yeah, sure.

- Hey, what's this chain for?

- Hmm, I dunno, lemme see.

- Henry? Kid!

- Stupid cannon ball! You killed my friend!

- Wow!

- How could you be talking? And living?!

- 'Cause... I'm fine.

- You can't be fine, you just... You just took a cannon ball

to the gut at point blank range!

- Yeah...

- Henry, did you...

- Ow.

Ow.

- You're... you're indestructible.

- [ both ] Surprise.

- We did it yesterday.

- And it worked? That's amazing!

No side-effects!

- Eh.

- Okay. I'm ready to test him.

- Finally. - Here we go.

- So, is Henry fully indestructible?

- Oh ya, he is.

- Or else your cannon woulda killed me.

- I know, we lucked out on that one, didn't we?

- So what about Henry laughing fire?

- That's what we're going to test right now.

Now Henry, you sit still, and watch me and Ray.

- What are we doin'?

- Come, come...

- Now, we begin the test with my homemade Schwoz-amole.

- Ah, darn it.

My Schwoz-amole smells funky.

- Really? Here, let me smell it.

- Schwoz!

- Okay, when the machine make Henry indestructible,

it also mutated his throat muscles,

and that's why fire now shoots from his mouth

when he laughs.

- Well...awesome!

- What? - Dude!

- How is this awesome? - Because!

Now, whenever Henry and I fight bad guys,

if one of them pulls a weapon,

all Henry's gotta do is be all, "Hahaha".

and the bad guys'll be like, "Ahh, my face is melting."

Why did I commit this crime?"

And I'll be like, "Exactly."

- Oh, yeah, but what if I'm out with a girl and I laugh,

and then she's all:

"Oh no! Why did I go out with this guy?

He's shooting fire at my face!"

- He's right, girls do not like that.

- So I mean, what do we do?

- Ugh... Pfft...

- Well, maybe I can make some technical adjustments

to the Densitizer machine--

- Whoah, whoah, so that Henry could stay indestructible,

but not laugh with fire?

- Okay, uh, who is Schwoz? Uh, you?

- No. - Then maybe you let me

say the Schwoz things. How about that?

- 'Kay, let's all just go check out the Densitizer,

and see if Schwoz can figure out a way to--

- Oh wait. Hang on a sec. Hang on a sec.

Hey, Dad, what's up? - Where are you?

It's almost dinner time.

- Oh, dinner...

- No, no, no. - You can't go have dinner

with your family!

- What if you laugh?

- Uh, you know, Dad, I'm kinda stuck at work

so I don't, I don't think I'm gonna' be able to--

- Henry, if you're not home for dinner in exactly

twenty four minutes, I'll tell your mother you said

she smells bad.

- What? I never said that about Mom!

- Hey Honey! Guess what Henry just said about you!

- Okay, I'm on my way!

- Okay guys, I gotta go home.

But as soon as I'm done with dinner we got...

- Well, I like the Schwoz-amole.

Don't judge me.

- Okay! Dinner's ready!

- I'm here! Mom, you smell great.

- Thanks?

- Okay, who's hungry for my food?

- Eh... - Uh...

- Oh! Uh, wait one thing before we all have dinner...

- What's that? - What?

- Well, I mean, I just feel that Piper worked really hard

to make this dinner, so we should all take it

very seriously.

Like, nobody should make any jokes or...

do anything funny, especially unexpectedly.

- Okay, everyone sit down.

- Wait! We have to wait for Jasper and his cousin.

- Ooh, that's right.

- Wait, Jasper's bringing his cousin?

- Yeah! The one who's a stand-up comedian.

- We're here. We're hungry. Get used to it.

- Oh man.

- Ah, you're Dex Dunlop!

- He's my second cousin.

- Yeah, don't say that out loud.

- So Dex, I hear you won best comedian in Swellview.

- Well-- - He sure did.

There's nobody funnier than my cuz.

- Thanks, comin' from you that means so little.

- Burn!

- Googles on.

- Come on! Are we gonna' start this test or what?

- Yeah! Here we go.

Voosh...veek...Veezle!

- Disengage!

- So how'd it go?

- What went wrong? - Ah, he tried to run too much

power through this thing.

- Well, I need some kind of conductor to connect

the particle Densitizer to the molecular transducer!

- Dude, there's nothing in Swellview that'll conduct

that much power without melting or burning out.

- Well, don't you think I know that?

- Wait, hang on...

don't human beings conduct electricity?

Our bodies?

- Well, sure. - Yeah, but if we try to use

a human being to connect

the particle Densitizer to the molecular transducer,

the person would be fried like a Mexican fish stick.

- Uh, not if that person were...

indestructible.

- So, how does everybody like my tuna parmesan?

- Oh, it's so good. - Oh, it's great.

- I'm lovin' it.

- Yay! I'll get more tuna sauce.

- Here's more sauce.

- Oh, thank god. - Yay.

- So, Dex... - Yeah.

- Tell me one of your insult jokes.

- No! Please, no jokes.

I mean, we're all here for Piper's wonderful dinner,

so nobody say anything funny.

- Well, in that case, Jasper should tell the jokes.

- Just kidding, I'll do one. Uh, knock knock.

- Ooh. Who's there?

- Idiot. - Idiot who?

- You. You're an idiot.

- I walked right into that one.

- It's funny 'cause it's true.

- Do another joke!

- All right. Uh, you guys like magic?

- Yeah! Yeah!

- I like serious magic.

'Cause, magic is like an art, and it should be taken seriously

and never laughed at.

So, let's keep the magic serious, okay?

- All right, here's some "serious" magic.

[ blows nose ]

- That's a lot of mucus.

- All right. Now Jasper, hold out your hand.

Now squeeze it tight.

- 'Kay...

Okay what's next?

- Nothin'! I'm done.

- He made me squeeze the snot! Haha!

- Woo.

[ phone rings ]

- Hey Kid! Listen--

- Okay, don't say anything funny

or I'll end up roasting my wrist!

- Relax, you're indestructible now.

- It'll still hurt!

- So, I'm hoping to be on The Tonight Show,

'cause I'm pretty sure Jimmy Fallon would love me.

- What?

- Did you just put my food under the table?

- Uh... what's a table?

- Hey, quick thinking.

- Anyone else?

- So, you've all been putting my tuna parmesan under the table

this whole time?!

- Sweetie, we're not saying that your food is awful...

- Then what are you saying?

- That...

it's really bad!

- So, what do you mean?

- Yeah, we think we re-rigged the Densitizer

so it'll fix your fire problem.

- You do?

- Yeah, so just hurry up and get to the Man Cave.

- Okay, but first I gotta find a way

to get out of this dumb family dinner. One sec.

- Ya know what? If you guys don't like my dinner,

then dinner is over!

- I found a way.

So, you sure this thing is gonna fix

my fire-laughing problem?

- Eh, pretty sure.

- But I won't be indestructible anymore?

- We don't know.

- Well then, before I do this, Ray?

- Yeah Kid?

- One time? Just in case it's my last chance?

- Sure Kid.

- Ew, no! What--what are ya doin', man?!

- What? You tapped your cheek!

- I didn't want you to kiss it! I wanted you to punch it!

While I'm still indestructible!

- Oh...Okay...Hehe...

- I'm okay.

- Ah, classic...

- All right. Let's do this.

- Googles on.

- Wait, wait... Do I get goggles?

- Eh, we only have three pair.

- Voosh, veek, veezle!

- Oog-Schtoomp!

- Woo! That felt awesome!

- Henry, are you all right?

- Yeah, I think so.

- Okay, how do we make him laugh, to see if fire comes out?

- Ooh! Ray! Do your impression of Schwoz taking a shower.

- Aw, yeah...

- Good idea, that'll make Henry laugh.

Ah, I am Schwoz, I am Schwoz,

dirty, dirty Schwoz!

Ooh, hello Mister Soap!

You're going on a disgusting adventure!

Ah, ah, get in my belly button.

Ah, ah...

- It worked! I laughed and no fire!

- Yeah! Awesome!

Ooh, wait wait! - What's up? What?

- We don't know if Henry's still indestructible or not.

- Oh...

- He's back to normal!

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