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1
00:00:03,612 --> 00:00:07,094
12 across: "2018 NBA
Rookie of the Year."
2
00:00:07,137 --> 00:00:09,661
[chuckles] Claire-bear,
pass me that pencil, please.
3
00:00:09,705 --> 00:00:12,882
[chuckles] Ah!
4
00:00:12,925 --> 00:00:15,406
This bad boy's
going in pen, baby.[chuckles] Oh.
5
00:00:15,450 --> 00:00:18,061
I love it when you get all
confident during word games.
6
00:00:18,105 --> 00:00:19,628
Thank you.
7
00:00:19,671 --> 00:00:23,023
Uh, the 2018 NBA Rookie of
the Year is none other than...
8
00:00:23,066 --> 00:00:24,850
he's my favorite player...
9
00:00:24,894 --> 00:00:26,461
I want to name my
child after him...
10
00:00:26,504 --> 00:00:28,898
Uh...
That might be more of a conversation.
11
00:00:28,941 --> 00:00:30,508
Ben Simmons!
12
00:00:30,552 --> 00:00:32,467
You want to name our kid
after Ben Simmons? Yeah.
13
00:00:32,510 --> 00:00:34,773
Ben Simmons Davis.
14
00:00:34,817 --> 00:00:37,428
Well, what if it's a girl?
15
00:00:37,472 --> 00:00:39,039
Ben Simmons Marie Davis.
16
00:00:39,082 --> 00:00:40,823
[laughs]
Kind of like it.
17
00:00:40,866 --> 00:00:42,042
It's doing something.[car door shuts]
18
00:00:42,085 --> 00:00:43,739
Oh, that's Cooper.
He's home early.
19
00:00:43,782 --> 00:00:45,784
Damn it. He's always walking
in on us doing something lame.
20
00:00:45,828 --> 00:00:47,438
I know. God.
21
00:00:47,482 --> 00:00:49,484
See, this is the kind of thing
that no one warns you about
22
00:00:49,527 --> 00:00:51,138
when you agree to allow
a world famous pop star
23
00:00:51,181 --> 00:00:52,139
to move in with you.
24
00:00:52,182 --> 00:00:53,792
Okay. What do we do?
Uh...
25
00:00:53,836 --> 00:00:54,967
I don't... um...
26
00:00:55,011 --> 00:00:56,143
I don't... uh,
just be cool.
27
00:00:56,186 --> 00:00:59,102
Yeah, just be cool.
28
00:00:59,146 --> 00:01:02,062
Uh... um...
29
00:01:09,243 --> 00:01:10,505
Hey, guys.
30
00:01:10,548 --> 00:01:11,941
Hey, how you doing, man?COOPER: Yeah, all right.
31
00:01:11,984 --> 00:01:13,203
Hey, you know that
feeling when you know
32
00:01:13,247 --> 00:01:14,944
you're in love right away?Oh, totally.
33
00:01:14,987 --> 00:01:16,076
Like, uh, when we first started
34
00:01:16,119 --> 00:01:17,251
mixing M&M's
in with our popcorn.
35
00:01:17,294 --> 00:01:21,559
[chuckles] So, who's
the lucky lady?
36
00:01:21,603 --> 00:01:23,083
Vanessa Cole.
37
00:01:23,126 --> 00:01:24,867
That country singer who sings
"That Dog Ain't Right."
38
00:01:24,910 --> 00:01:26,390
Oh, we love that song, right?CLAIRE: Yeah.
39
00:01:26,434 --> 00:01:30,133
♪ Oh, he'll chew your stuff
and bark all night ♪
40
00:01:30,177 --> 00:01:33,528
♪ He'll bite your ankles
with all his might ♪
41
00:01:33,571 --> 00:01:35,356
♪ Yes, it's plain to see
42
00:01:35,399 --> 00:01:38,098
BOTH:
♪ That dog ain't right.
43
00:01:38,141 --> 00:01:40,274
[both laugh]
44
00:01:42,928 --> 00:01:47,063
So, you're dating Vanessa.
45
00:01:47,107 --> 00:01:48,543
Well, before she goes
on her fall tour,
46
00:01:48,586 --> 00:01:50,197
I want to surprise her
with a big, romantic gesture,
47
00:01:50,240 --> 00:01:51,981
but I'm kind of sick
of my go-to moves.
48
00:01:52,024 --> 00:01:53,461
You know, like renting out
Dodger's Stadium
49
00:01:53,504 --> 00:01:55,071
to watch Field of Dreams...Right.
50
00:01:55,115 --> 00:01:57,247
...or eating a 12-course meal
at the Vatican. Of course.
51
00:01:57,291 --> 00:01:59,641
How did you pull that off?
52
00:01:59,684 --> 00:02:00,903
Oh, I know the owner.
53
00:02:00,946 --> 00:02:02,948
God?
54
00:02:02,992 --> 00:02:05,255
So, I was thinking,
55
00:02:05,299 --> 00:02:08,171
you guys have been together
for half my life...
56
00:02:08,215 --> 00:02:11,522
Feels like a hurtful
way to keep time. No.
57
00:02:11,566 --> 00:02:14,090
What big, romantic moves
have you done over the years?
58
00:02:14,134 --> 00:02:16,048
Oh. [laughs]
Oh. [laughs]
59
00:02:16,092 --> 00:02:17,441
Don't even get us...Don't get us started.
60
00:02:17,485 --> 00:02:19,748
Right?
Because once we start, we ain't stopping.
61
00:02:19,791 --> 00:02:21,532
Yeah. There's so many,
it's like, um...
62
00:02:21,576 --> 00:02:23,230
I mean, it just goes
on and on and on.[rolls tongue]
63
00:02:23,273 --> 00:02:24,840
[both stammering]
64
00:02:24,883 --> 00:02:27,059
Hmm. Well, there's
that one... hmm...
65
00:02:27,103 --> 00:02:28,757
CLAIRE:
Oh! Oh! Okay.
66
00:02:28,800 --> 00:02:30,193
Get him. Let him know.Ooh. Okay. So...
67
00:02:30,237 --> 00:02:34,197
Let him know.So, just last week,
68
00:02:34,241 --> 00:02:38,332
Jake totally surprised me
by filling up my car with gas.Mm-hmm.
69
00:02:39,681 --> 00:02:41,509
'Cause everyone knows that
the way to a woman's heart
70
00:02:41,552 --> 00:02:44,164
is through her gas tank.
71
00:02:45,252 --> 00:02:47,993
That's not a euphemism.
72
00:02:48,037 --> 00:02:49,212
JAKE:
Oh, I know.
73
00:02:49,256 --> 00:02:51,214
Um, like, uh, Claire,
she always leaves me
74
00:02:51,258 --> 00:02:53,173
cute, little, sexy notes
75
00:02:53,216 --> 00:02:56,001
like this one I found
in my, uh, briefcase today.
76
00:02:56,045 --> 00:02:58,047
[chuckles]
77
00:02:58,090 --> 00:03:01,006
[sexy voice]:
"Jake, please buy lightbulbs."
78
00:03:03,922 --> 00:03:06,403
I mean, I can't be the only one
who's getting goose bumps. Huh?
79
00:03:07,665 --> 00:03:09,276
Look at that. [chuckles]
80
00:03:09,319 --> 00:03:11,408
You know what? We're past
all that stuff. You know?
81
00:03:11,452 --> 00:03:13,454
I mean, I don't have
to prove I love someone
82
00:03:13,497 --> 00:03:16,500
when I regularly pick up their
prescription toothpaste.Aw, yeah.
83
00:03:16,544 --> 00:03:18,285
That's right, baby.
84
00:03:18,328 --> 00:03:21,201
[inhales]
85
00:03:21,244 --> 00:03:23,290
[coughs]
86
00:03:25,248 --> 00:03:26,858
It's working.
87
00:03:26,902 --> 00:03:29,383
It's working and,
uh, so are we.
88
00:03:31,385 --> 00:03:32,342
All right, well, let me know
89
00:03:32,386 --> 00:03:33,735
if you think of anything.
90
00:03:33,778 --> 00:03:36,259
All right.[laughs]
91
00:03:36,303 --> 00:03:38,392
You know, babe, I didn't
want to embarrass you in front of Cooper,
92
00:03:38,435 --> 00:03:40,785
but that toothpaste
is not working.
93
00:03:43,919 --> 00:03:46,008
♪ Imagine me and you
94
00:03:46,051 --> 00:03:48,358
♪ I do
95
00:03:48,402 --> 00:03:50,665
♪ I think about you
day and night ♪
96
00:03:50,708 --> 00:03:52,754
♪ It's only right
97
00:03:52,797 --> 00:03:56,453
♪ So happy together
98
00:03:56,497 --> 00:03:57,802
♪ Ba-ba-ba-ba
99
00:03:57,846 --> 00:04:02,981
♪ Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba.
100
00:04:09,336 --> 00:04:10,728
I'd like
to propose a toast.
101
00:04:10,772 --> 00:04:12,730
Yay.
102
00:04:12,774 --> 00:04:14,602
To my beautiful wife
103
00:04:14,645 --> 00:04:16,952
who makes me excited
to wake up every day. Aw.
104
00:04:16,995 --> 00:04:18,301
Happy birthday, baby.
105
00:04:18,345 --> 00:04:20,172
Ah, happy birthday.
106
00:04:20,216 --> 00:04:22,305
Thank you.
Thank you. Super sweet.
107
00:04:22,349 --> 00:04:24,742
Cooper says happy
birthday, as well.
108
00:04:24,786 --> 00:04:26,570
He'd be here,
but he rented out SeaWorld
109
00:04:26,614 --> 00:04:28,746
so he and Vanessa
could watch Finding Nemo.
110
00:04:28,790 --> 00:04:30,618
Do you think he just doesn't
know about movie theaters?
111
00:04:32,359 --> 00:04:34,622
That seems a little
extravagant. CLAIRE: Right?
112
00:04:34,665 --> 00:04:36,928
It's hard not to feel
like unromantic losers
113
00:04:36,972 --> 00:04:38,321
when you're living
with a celebrity
114
00:04:38,365 --> 00:04:39,888
who, for Valentine's Day,
115
00:04:39,931 --> 00:04:43,544
bought his girlfriend a panda
holding a box of chocolates.
116
00:04:43,587 --> 00:04:45,285
An actual panda.
117
00:04:46,764 --> 00:04:48,766
I mean, is it okay that
we don't do those things?
118
00:04:48,810 --> 00:04:49,985
Of course it is.
119
00:04:50,028 --> 00:04:51,595
That big, showy stuff
is for new couples
120
00:04:51,639 --> 00:04:53,336
who don't know
what true love is.
121
00:04:53,380 --> 00:04:54,772
GERALD:
I don't know.
122
00:04:54,816 --> 00:04:55,773
I think every
once in a while
123
00:04:55,817 --> 00:04:57,558
a big move can be nice.
124
00:04:57,601 --> 00:04:59,603
Trust me, honey, a small,
quiet dinner with my family,
125
00:04:59,647 --> 00:05:00,952
that's all I need.
126
00:05:00,996 --> 00:05:03,433
Right? I mean, married
people don't need to do
127
00:05:03,477 --> 00:05:05,609
that over-the-top,
crazy stuff. [gasps]
128
00:05:05,653 --> 00:05:08,090
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
129
00:05:08,133 --> 00:05:09,439
Daddy, is this for me?Yes.
130
00:05:09,483 --> 00:05:13,008
♪ My Bonnie lies
over the ocean ♪
131
00:05:13,051 --> 00:05:17,795
♪ My Bonnie lies
over the sea... ♪
132
00:05:17,839 --> 00:05:19,014
What the hell is this?
133
00:05:19,057 --> 00:05:23,235
Oh, there's Cliff
and Betty. June!
134
00:05:23,279 --> 00:05:25,281
Bonnie, I know we've missed
a lot of big events together
135
00:05:25,325 --> 00:05:26,717
while we were working,
so I decided to gather
136
00:05:26,761 --> 00:05:28,763
our best friends and our family
137
00:05:28,806 --> 00:05:30,025
to show you just how much
138
00:05:30,068 --> 00:05:32,375
your life and your love
means to me.
139
00:05:32,419 --> 00:05:35,683
BOTH: ♪ My Bonnie lies
over the ocean ♪
140
00:05:35,726 --> 00:05:40,252
♪ 'Cause there's only one
Bonnie for me. ♪
141
00:05:44,169 --> 00:05:46,302
[squeals]
142
00:05:46,346 --> 00:05:47,695
Oh, I was wrong, Claire.
143
00:05:47,738 --> 00:05:50,045
This is what true love is.
144
00:05:55,877 --> 00:05:57,792
[sighs]
145
00:05:57,835 --> 00:05:59,794
Claire-bear, we're good, right?
146
00:05:59,837 --> 00:06:00,882
Our fire's still burning?
147
00:06:00,925 --> 00:06:03,363
Yeah, of course it is.
148
00:06:06,409 --> 00:06:08,759
No, I mean, when Cooper
does a grand gesture,
149
00:06:08,803 --> 00:06:10,152
it's one thing,
but now your parents?
150
00:06:10,195 --> 00:06:12,807
No, babe, we are en fuego.
151
00:06:12,850 --> 00:06:14,635
Okay?
152
00:06:14,678 --> 00:06:16,898
We just need to accept
that our fire
153
00:06:16,941 --> 00:06:20,815
is more of a controlled burn.
154
00:06:20,858 --> 00:06:23,034
I guess that sounds good.
155
00:06:23,078 --> 00:06:25,385
Yeah, we're-we're a safe
and sensible flame. Right?
156
00:06:25,428 --> 00:06:27,691
We're like, uh,
carbon monoxide poisoning.
157
00:06:27,735 --> 00:06:31,260
You can't detect it, but it'll
take your breath away.
158
00:06:31,303 --> 00:06:33,871
Definitely. You know,
it's like those fake candles
159
00:06:33,915 --> 00:06:35,830
that they have
at The Cheesecake Factory.
160
00:06:35,873 --> 00:06:38,615
Consistent, yet electric.
Yep.
161
00:06:40,661 --> 00:06:42,793
[lisping]: Yeah.
You know, I just...
162
00:06:42,837 --> 00:06:44,665
I just want to make sure
we're still passionate.
163
00:06:44,708 --> 00:06:46,057
You know?
164
00:06:46,101 --> 00:06:48,103
[lisping]: Sweetie,
we are so passionate.
165
00:06:48,146 --> 00:06:50,279
It's all good.
166
00:06:50,322 --> 00:06:54,414
Oh, wait, stop, babe.
We forgot to kiss. [sighs]
167
00:06:54,457 --> 00:06:56,807
Well, let's just have
a makeup kiss at breakfast.
168
00:06:56,851 --> 00:07:01,725
Okay? Mm. Good night.
169
00:07:01,769 --> 00:07:03,684
Sleep tight, sweetie.
170
00:07:03,727 --> 00:07:04,946
Okay.
171
00:07:12,867 --> 00:07:15,783
I have been married to Claire
for four years now,
172
00:07:15,826 --> 00:07:17,262
and I just want
to do something big
173
00:07:17,306 --> 00:07:18,742
to remind her
how much I love her.
174
00:07:18,786 --> 00:07:21,179
So what's,
like, a cool,
175
00:07:21,223 --> 00:07:24,400
over-the-top romantic move
I could do?
176
00:07:24,444 --> 00:07:27,316
Do you want the name
of my stadium guy?
177
00:07:29,623 --> 00:07:31,581
I can't rent out Dodger Stadium.
178
00:07:31,625 --> 00:07:34,584
Are you not a baseball fan?
179
00:07:34,628 --> 00:07:36,499
Eh...
180
00:07:36,543 --> 00:07:39,763
Yeah, dude, that's the only
speed bump in that plan.
181
00:07:41,243 --> 00:07:43,593
What about a private flight
to Fiji? All right.
182
00:07:43,637 --> 00:07:44,986
Listen, you are at a Bentley,
183
00:07:45,029 --> 00:07:48,163
I'm-a need you
at a bus pass, okay?
184
00:07:49,773 --> 00:07:52,733
What is the most affordable
grand gesture you've done?
185
00:07:52,776 --> 00:07:55,518
Well, I got my last girlfriend's
name tattooed on my body.
186
00:07:55,562 --> 00:07:56,998
Oh, Claire loves tattoos!
187
00:07:57,041 --> 00:07:59,522
Ah, but that might only be
when they're on The Rock.
188
00:07:59,566 --> 00:08:00,871
Dwayne is such a sweet guy.
189
00:08:00,915 --> 00:08:02,177
Why don't I text him
190
00:08:02,220 --> 00:08:06,224
to see if he can take Claire
on a picnic. No!
191
00:08:06,268 --> 00:08:07,835
No!
192
00:08:09,880 --> 00:08:13,188
Sorry. No. I...
193
00:08:13,231 --> 00:08:15,320
I don't want that.
194
00:08:15,364 --> 00:08:18,280
But that tattoo idea
is perfect, you know.
195
00:08:18,323 --> 00:08:20,804
It-It's sexy,
it's permanent, you know.
196
00:08:20,848 --> 00:08:22,371
Plus, Claire would
never see it coming
197
00:08:22,414 --> 00:08:24,286
because she knows I'm afraid
of needles. [laughs]
198
00:08:27,115 --> 00:08:30,901
[needles buzzing]Ahh!
199
00:08:30,945 --> 00:08:34,078
Hey, uh, what are we talking
on the pain scale here, huh?
200
00:08:34,122 --> 00:08:35,297
It's more of a tickle.
201
00:08:35,340 --> 00:08:38,343
[screaming]
202
00:08:38,387 --> 00:08:40,128
Ooh, tickly.
203
00:08:40,998 --> 00:08:41,999
So, Jake, where'd you like
204
00:08:42,043 --> 00:08:44,741
to get your tattoo today?
205
00:08:44,785 --> 00:08:46,482
Uh, probably a cleaner room,
that'd be nice,
206
00:08:46,526 --> 00:08:49,311
uh, maybe somewhere
with a little more privacy.
207
00:08:50,138 --> 00:08:51,574
He means where on your body.
208
00:08:51,618 --> 00:08:52,923
Oh.
209
00:08:52,967 --> 00:08:56,100
Well, as Captain Hook says
with his treasure maps,
210
00:08:56,144 --> 00:08:57,841
"Flex marks
the spot."
211
00:08:57,885 --> 00:08:58,973
Huh?
212
00:08:59,016 --> 00:09:00,975
He wants it on his shoulder.
213
00:09:01,018 --> 00:09:02,977
Jake, are you absolutely sure
about this?
214
00:09:03,020 --> 00:09:04,892
Yeah, I am,
I'm-I'm sure.
215
00:09:04,935 --> 00:09:06,850
Uh, you know, I'm-I'm
crazy about Claire.
216
00:09:06,894 --> 00:09:08,809
I want to do something
crazy for her,
217
00:09:08,852 --> 00:09:11,289
something big,
something romantic, you know?
218
00:09:11,333 --> 00:09:12,682
Got it.
219
00:09:12,726 --> 00:09:16,643
I can make your junk
look like a dragon.
220
00:09:16,686 --> 00:09:20,385
Uh, great brainstorming sesh,
buddy, that's-that's nice,
221
00:09:20,429 --> 00:09:22,605
but, um, I was thinking
something a little less scary
222
00:09:22,649 --> 00:09:24,868
and a little more, uh, swirly.
223
00:09:24,912 --> 00:09:26,348
You're the boss.
224
00:09:26,391 --> 00:09:28,916
Okay, just raise
your finger
225
00:09:28,959 --> 00:09:31,092
if you need me to stop
for any reason.
226
00:09:31,135 --> 00:09:33,181
[chuckles] The only finger
I'll be raising is my thumb
227
00:09:33,224 --> 00:09:35,096
because hell yeah, dude.
228
00:09:35,139 --> 00:09:38,926
[needle buzzing][screaming]
229
00:09:38,969 --> 00:09:40,710
Ha-ha!
230
00:09:40,754 --> 00:09:43,713
It tickles!
You were right!
231
00:09:43,757 --> 00:09:46,760
It tickles so bad!
232
00:09:57,292 --> 00:09:58,902
Oh, Jake, guess what,
233
00:09:58,946 --> 00:10:01,209
there was a crossword
clue about the IRS.
234
00:10:01,252 --> 00:10:03,037
It was ten letters,
started with a "C."
235
00:10:03,080 --> 00:10:05,605
Compulsory.
236
00:10:09,783 --> 00:10:11,132
Where have you been?
237
00:10:11,175 --> 00:10:13,656
Well, I had lunch with Coop-dog,
238
00:10:13,700 --> 00:10:15,353
went and picked up
your lightbulbs.
239
00:10:15,397 --> 00:10:16,920
Oh.
240
00:10:16,964 --> 00:10:19,401
Oh, and I, uh,
slammed a little body art.
241
00:10:19,444 --> 00:10:21,055
Wait, what?
242
00:10:21,098 --> 00:10:24,928
Oh, you're talking about
my "champ stamp"?
243
00:10:24,972 --> 00:10:28,149
Jake, is that a freaking tattoo?
Oh, my God, well, let me see it.
244
00:10:28,192 --> 00:10:32,196
Easy, easy.
No touching the dancers.
245
00:10:33,807 --> 00:10:36,200
He said I'm not supposed to take
the bandages off yet, but, uh,
246
00:10:36,244 --> 00:10:41,075
tat-rats like us don't
play by the rules, so...
247
00:10:41,118 --> 00:10:44,165
[muttering]
248
00:10:45,949 --> 00:10:47,951
Ready?
Here, ready?
249
00:10:49,083 --> 00:10:52,129
Ah, just peel that...
250
00:10:52,173 --> 00:10:54,523
[moans]
251
00:11:03,488 --> 00:11:05,839
Woo.
[laughs]
252
00:11:05,882 --> 00:11:10,539
Jake, aw!
253
00:11:10,582 --> 00:11:13,150
You got my name
tattooed on your arm.
254
00:11:13,194 --> 00:11:14,674
Yup.
255
00:11:14,717 --> 00:11:16,371
Did it hurt?
256
00:11:16,414 --> 00:11:19,679
I screamed so much they made me
put my own socks in my mouth.
257
00:11:19,722 --> 00:11:23,117
Oh, my God, well, this is
the most romantic thing ever.
258
00:11:26,337 --> 00:11:29,384
But...
But what?
259
00:11:29,427 --> 00:11:30,994
Nothing. It's just...
260
00:11:31,038 --> 00:11:34,084
I don't know, this is so sweet,
and it just makes me feel bad
261
00:11:34,128 --> 00:11:36,173
'cause I've never done anything
big like this for you.
262
00:11:36,217 --> 00:11:40,700
Sea bass,
don't you dare.
263
00:11:43,790 --> 00:11:46,096
I may be painted,
264
00:11:46,140 --> 00:11:49,099
but you're the masterpiece
around here, okay?
265
00:11:49,143 --> 00:11:52,537
[laughs] Okay. Ah...
266
00:11:52,581 --> 00:11:55,323
You know, I've never hooked up
with a tattoo guy before.
267
00:11:55,366 --> 00:11:58,456
Oh, well, all that's
about to change because, uh,
268
00:11:58,500 --> 00:12:00,197
as they say
in Space Jam,
269
00:12:00,241 --> 00:12:04,201
"Y'all ready for this?"
270
00:12:06,073 --> 00:12:08,075
Well, I'm excited
to help, Claire,
271
00:12:08,118 --> 00:12:09,641
but just because Jake
did something over the top
272
00:12:09,685 --> 00:12:11,121
doesn't mean
you have to as well.
273
00:12:11,165 --> 00:12:14,951
Mm, you have no idea
how marriage works, do you?
274
00:12:16,910 --> 00:12:18,694
I just felt so special
when I saw his tattoo,
275
00:12:18,738 --> 00:12:20,914
I want to make sure that Jake
feels the same way.
276
00:12:20,957 --> 00:12:23,307
Okay, well, I usually start
with something they like
277
00:12:23,351 --> 00:12:25,788
and then build from it.
So what's Jake into?
278
00:12:25,832 --> 00:12:28,835
Um, well, he is really into
279
00:12:28,878 --> 00:12:32,012
food, sleeping, playing ball...
280
00:12:32,055 --> 00:12:36,625
Oh, my God, I married
a Golden Retriever.
281
00:12:39,106 --> 00:12:41,064
You, uh, you mentioned food,
282
00:12:41,108 --> 00:12:43,588
would, uh, would Jake like to
cook a meal with Gordon Ramsey?
283
00:12:43,632 --> 00:12:45,068
If you pay extra
284
00:12:45,112 --> 00:12:46,896
he yells at you until you feel
like absolute garbage,
285
00:12:46,940 --> 00:12:48,158
it's pretty great.
286
00:12:48,202 --> 00:12:51,422
Uh, well, he's-he's
not into gourmet food.
287
00:12:51,466 --> 00:12:55,818
Okay, um, what about a sparring
session with Conor McGregor?
288
00:12:55,862 --> 00:12:59,256
If you ask nicely he'll knock
you out, it's pretty great.
289
00:12:59,300 --> 00:13:00,823
Are all these people
in your phone?
290
00:13:00,867 --> 00:13:02,216
Yeah, these are just the people
291
00:13:02,259 --> 00:13:04,218
I'm playing Words With Friends
against right now.
292
00:13:04,261 --> 00:13:06,742
Okay, give me that thing.
I need to see your contacts.
293
00:13:08,918 --> 00:13:10,702
Oh, my God, you're friends
with The Rock?
294
00:13:10,746 --> 00:13:11,703
[laughs]
295
00:13:11,747 --> 00:13:12,879
Oh, my God...
296
00:13:12,922 --> 00:13:14,445
No!
297
00:13:18,188 --> 00:13:20,408
No. No, um,
298
00:13:20,451 --> 00:13:23,541
yeah, I don't think
Jake would like that.
299
00:13:27,589 --> 00:13:31,158
[chuckles]
300
00:13:31,201 --> 00:13:34,378
Whoa, man,
nice ink, bro.
301
00:13:34,422 --> 00:13:35,902
It's killer.
I'm a bit of a
302
00:13:35,945 --> 00:13:38,861
squid myself.
303
00:13:38,905 --> 00:13:40,645
Thinking about getting
a whole sleeve.
304
00:13:40,689 --> 00:13:41,908
That looks bad.
305
00:13:41,951 --> 00:13:44,127
Yeah, badass.
306
00:13:44,171 --> 00:13:47,130
I heard guys like us can't be
buried in a Jewish cemetery.
307
00:13:47,174 --> 00:13:49,306
No, I'm saying that looks nasty.
308
00:13:49,350 --> 00:13:52,657
I'm a dirty dog,
through and through.
309
00:13:52,701 --> 00:13:54,790
Sir, I'm trying to tell you
310
00:13:54,834 --> 00:13:57,880
your tattoo
is horribly infected.
311
00:13:57,924 --> 00:14:01,318
So that's not just muscle juice
leaking out of it?
312
00:14:10,066 --> 00:14:10,545
[wincing]
313
00:14:10,588 --> 00:14:12,025
Stop.
314
00:14:12,068 --> 00:14:14,592
Jake, I-I'm not trying
to scare you,
315
00:14:14,636 --> 00:14:16,159
but this looks very serious.
316
00:14:16,203 --> 00:14:18,118
That infection
is verging on necrosis.
317
00:14:18,161 --> 00:14:19,380
I'm sorry, I just don't see
318
00:14:19,423 --> 00:14:20,860
a world where
we're not amputating.
319
00:14:20,903 --> 00:14:23,166
[high-pitched]:
No-- put it down! What are you doing?!
320
00:14:23,210 --> 00:14:24,907
Hey, hey! What's going on?
321
00:14:24,951 --> 00:14:28,432
[both laugh]Oh, my God.
322
00:14:28,476 --> 00:14:32,349
Your face. Your face.
323
00:14:32,393 --> 00:14:35,657
[imitating yelps]
324
00:14:35,700 --> 00:14:37,702
It's for the lime, Jake.
325
00:14:39,617 --> 00:14:41,968
BONNIE: Oh, my God.Don't worry, buddy.
326
00:14:42,011 --> 00:14:43,186
We're just gonna give you
this antibiotic
327
00:14:43,230 --> 00:14:45,101
and it should clear it up
in a week or so.
328
00:14:45,145 --> 00:14:48,757
But I have to ask, Jake, why on
Earth would you get a tattoo?
329
00:14:48,800 --> 00:14:50,237
Well, because I thought
only new couples
330
00:14:50,280 --> 00:14:52,152
had to do these grand gestures.
331
00:14:52,195 --> 00:14:53,762
But then, you two
started doing them.
332
00:14:53,805 --> 00:14:55,590
Well, technically,
only Gerald did one.
333
00:14:55,633 --> 00:14:58,854
Oh, I repaid the favor.
Nothing's for free, Jake.
334
00:14:58,898 --> 00:15:01,291
[chuckles]
335
00:15:04,860 --> 00:15:08,168
[retches]
336
00:15:08,211 --> 00:15:10,126
All right, I guess I should
probably sterilize this,
337
00:15:10,170 --> 00:15:11,562
being-- all right,
338
00:15:11,606 --> 00:15:14,174
there we go.
339
00:15:14,217 --> 00:15:16,089
Other arm, other arm, please.
340
00:15:16,132 --> 00:15:18,134
Other arm.All right, very well.
341
00:15:18,178 --> 00:15:20,223
Could you give me
a countdown, please?
342
00:15:20,267 --> 00:15:23,052
Oh, I wish I could,
but I'm not a pediatrician.
343
00:15:23,096 --> 00:15:24,967
All right, don't
be surprised
344
00:15:25,011 --> 00:15:26,664
if the antibiotics make
your arm a little sore.
345
00:15:26,708 --> 00:15:28,928
And keep washing that area,
or we'll have to, you know...
346
00:15:28,971 --> 00:15:30,103
[screams]
347
00:15:30,146 --> 00:15:31,974
[both laugh]
348
00:15:32,018 --> 00:15:33,758
Bonnie, Bonnie.
349
00:15:33,802 --> 00:15:35,586
He fell for it again.
350
00:15:38,198 --> 00:15:39,286
Hey, Claire, you home?
351
00:15:39,329 --> 00:15:40,896
Jake. Where have you been?
352
00:15:40,940 --> 00:15:42,811
Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
353
00:15:42,854 --> 00:15:44,204
Uh, I-I...
354
00:15:44,247 --> 00:15:46,510
Got a little infection
going on in my tat. What?
355
00:15:46,554 --> 00:15:49,339
Yeah, my arms are so sore,
I can barely move them both.
356
00:15:49,383 --> 00:15:51,385
Man, this is awful timing.
Well, I'm not supposed to say,
357
00:15:51,428 --> 00:15:53,387
but Claire's planned
an awesome surprise for you.
358
00:15:53,430 --> 00:15:54,475
Really? What is it?
359
00:15:54,518 --> 00:15:56,346
Check your phone.
360
00:15:56,390 --> 00:15:58,131
[grunting]:
Okay.
361
00:15:58,174 --> 00:16:02,004
"Dr. Dunk," that's me,
362
00:16:02,048 --> 00:16:05,268
"Grab your keys and make
a fast break to Henley Park
363
00:16:05,312 --> 00:16:06,617
or you'll be
called for a foul."
364
00:16:06,661 --> 00:16:08,054
This is basketball-related?
365
00:16:08,097 --> 00:16:09,925
Yeah. All I can say is that
Claire's really excited
366
00:16:09,969 --> 00:16:11,274
to do this grand gesture
for you.
367
00:16:11,318 --> 00:16:13,929
Ah, nice. I mean,
I can't play basketball,
368
00:16:13,973 --> 00:16:15,931
but I might as well
drive down there and thank her.
369
00:16:15,975 --> 00:16:18,325
Grab my keys, man.
Let's go. [chuckles]
370
00:16:18,368 --> 00:16:20,370
Ha, ha.
371
00:16:24,461 --> 00:16:27,464
You know what? You know what--
you steer, I'll do the pedals.
372
00:16:30,641 --> 00:16:32,600
CLAIRE:
Jake!
373
00:16:32,643 --> 00:16:34,689
Oh, I'm so glad
you're here. What...
374
00:16:34,732 --> 00:16:37,257
Why are you walking
like you've been lassoed?
375
00:16:38,519 --> 00:16:41,087
Can I talk to you for a second
over here, please?
376
00:16:41,130 --> 00:16:42,697
Over here...
377
00:16:42,740 --> 00:16:45,874
Yeah?Yeah, uh, listen, um,
378
00:16:45,917 --> 00:16:49,486
I love that you planned this
grand gesture for me, but, um...
379
00:16:49,530 --> 00:16:51,619
My champ stamp
got infected, and, uh,
380
00:16:51,662 --> 00:16:54,709
I can't play
basketball today.
381
00:16:54,752 --> 00:16:56,058
Seriously?
382
00:16:56,102 --> 00:16:58,408
Yeah.
[sighs] That stinks.
383
00:16:58,452 --> 00:17:01,672
Well, you know how you've always
wanted to play with NBA players?
384
00:17:01,716 --> 00:17:03,326
Yes.
385
00:17:03,370 --> 00:17:07,287
I kind of got you into a charity
tournament with your favorite.
386
00:17:09,028 --> 00:17:10,333
It's Ben Simmons.
387
00:17:11,856 --> 00:17:14,772
[squeaking]:
What? He's-- aww, come on.
388
00:17:14,816 --> 00:17:17,949
What? Is it...?
How did you do this?
389
00:17:17,993 --> 00:17:19,168
Uh, Cooper knows him.
390
00:17:19,212 --> 00:17:20,865
Yeah, I didn't even know
Ben played basketball.
391
00:17:20,909 --> 00:17:22,867
But if he's as good at this game
as he is at Scrabble,
392
00:17:22,911 --> 00:17:24,086
you're gonna be in great shape.
393
00:17:24,130 --> 00:17:25,653
[groans]
394
00:17:25,696 --> 00:17:27,263
Hey, Coop.
395
00:17:27,307 --> 00:17:29,135
Hey, man.
Hey, Claire.
396
00:17:29,178 --> 00:17:31,398
What's up?
What's up, Ben Simmons?
397
00:17:32,877 --> 00:17:35,184
So, um, anyway, um,
I'm so sorry, Ben,
398
00:17:35,228 --> 00:17:36,403
but I think we're gonna
have to take a rain check,
399
00:17:36,446 --> 00:17:38,361
'cause my husband's
in pretty serious...
400
00:17:38,405 --> 00:17:40,450
Awe of his amazing wife.
401
00:17:40,494 --> 00:17:42,061
We doing this, man.
402
00:17:42,104 --> 00:17:44,150
We gonna do this.
403
00:17:44,193 --> 00:17:45,368
CLAIRE:
Okay, you got this, babe!
404
00:17:45,412 --> 00:17:48,980
All right, guys,
let's have some fun.
405
00:17:49,024 --> 00:17:52,158
♪ Lonely bird, broken wings,
but I still fly ♪
406
00:17:52,201 --> 00:17:54,377
♪ Ooh, change up,
hunger never came up ♪
407
00:17:54,421 --> 00:17:57,337
♪ From Oakland out to Philly,
it's the same love ♪
408
00:17:57,380 --> 00:17:58,773
[audience cheering]
409
00:17:58,816 --> 00:18:01,080
♪ They got to call me Mr. T...
410
00:18:01,123 --> 00:18:03,473
It's all good. Just
getting used to the speed.
411
00:18:03,517 --> 00:18:05,214
♪ Chasing history,
20 years from now ♪
412
00:18:05,258 --> 00:18:06,955
♪ The generation
will still mention me ♪
413
00:18:08,348 --> 00:18:10,524
Oh...♪ We play to win
414
00:18:10,567 --> 00:18:12,787
♪ Making sure I don't say this
all again... ♪
415
00:18:12,830 --> 00:18:15,137
I thought you played
college ball.
416
00:18:15,181 --> 00:18:17,270
That was a pass, bro.
417
00:18:17,313 --> 00:18:19,533
Well, I, uh, really thought
that Jake was gonna be able
418
00:18:19,576 --> 00:18:21,100
to play without his arms,
but it turns out,
419
00:18:21,143 --> 00:18:23,754
I didn't know
what basketball was.
420
00:18:25,539 --> 00:18:28,585
Hey. I love you, babe.
You got this.
421
00:18:30,587 --> 00:18:32,589
All right, Ben, let's huddle up.
422
00:18:32,633 --> 00:18:35,157
Do we have to? Your shoulder
smells like really old turkey.
423
00:18:35,201 --> 00:18:36,332
Listen, I got an idea.
424
00:18:36,376 --> 00:18:37,551
We're gonna win this game
with some
425
00:18:37,594 --> 00:18:39,596
good old-fashioned fundamentals.
426
00:18:41,381 --> 00:18:43,426
[audience cheering]
427
00:18:44,949 --> 00:18:46,386
Go with what you know, bro.
428
00:18:47,517 --> 00:18:49,476
[cheering]
429
00:18:55,308 --> 00:18:57,614
[screams]
430
00:19:04,969 --> 00:19:06,971
[sighs] Today was
so amazing, Claire-Bear.
431
00:19:07,015 --> 00:19:09,017
Yeah? Oh...[grunts]
432
00:19:12,629 --> 00:19:14,544
Get your butt in here for a hug.
433
00:19:14,588 --> 00:19:16,938
Oh...[shouts]
434
00:19:16,981 --> 00:19:18,635
Do it... Oh!
435
00:19:18,679 --> 00:19:20,594
Okay. [chuckles]
Right?
436
00:19:20,637 --> 00:19:22,596
Worked out well. Yeah.Uh-- pleasure doing
business with you. Yeah.
437
00:19:22,639 --> 00:19:24,685
Yes, yes.
438
00:19:24,728 --> 00:19:27,862
Ah, I'm gonna have to think of
something huge to top this.
439
00:19:27,905 --> 00:19:30,821
Uh, is it crazy that I don't
want another grand gesture?
440
00:19:30,865 --> 00:19:33,476
I mean, they're sweet and all,
but I kind of prefer
441
00:19:33,520 --> 00:19:34,782
when you just do little things,
442
00:19:34,825 --> 00:19:37,350
like, how you always fill up
my car with gas.
443
00:19:37,393 --> 00:19:39,569
Or those cute little notes
you always leave me.Yeah.
444
00:19:39,613 --> 00:19:40,831
Or like how you always
bring an extra spoon
445
00:19:40,875 --> 00:19:42,050
whenever you eat ice cream.
446
00:19:42,093 --> 00:19:43,269
Yeah, exactly.
447
00:19:43,312 --> 00:19:45,445
They're more like
bland gestures, but...
448
00:19:45,488 --> 00:19:46,837
Mm....they're better.
449
00:19:46,881 --> 00:19:48,056
Because that means
that we're thinking
450
00:19:48,099 --> 00:19:49,884
about each other all the time.
451
00:19:49,927 --> 00:19:51,755
Totally. Like,
I'm with you right now,
452
00:19:51,799 --> 00:19:53,192
but I still miss you
whenever I blink.
453
00:19:53,235 --> 00:19:54,541
Claire, where'd you...
454
00:19:54,584 --> 00:19:56,282
Oh, my God, Claire, I can't...
455
00:19:56,325 --> 00:19:57,718
Claire, where'd you--
oh, there you are.
456
00:19:57,761 --> 00:19:59,328
[laughs]Oh, my God.
457
00:19:59,372 --> 00:20:01,461
You guys are geniuses.
458
00:20:01,504 --> 00:20:03,289
We're listening.Go on.
459
00:20:03,332 --> 00:20:05,421
I kept trying to surprise
Vanessa with a big move,
460
00:20:05,465 --> 00:20:06,770
but none of them
were having an impact.
461
00:20:06,814 --> 00:20:08,685
So I thought, "What would
Jake and Claire do?"
462
00:20:08,729 --> 00:20:11,732
And I filled up her gas tank and
she went absolutely nuts for it.
463
00:20:11,775 --> 00:20:14,082
Oh, my God.
Well, that's amazing.
464
00:20:14,125 --> 00:20:16,476
Yeah, I know. And I got to say,
I'm-I'm really grateful
465
00:20:16,519 --> 00:20:18,956
for you guys
letting me stay here.
466
00:20:19,000 --> 00:20:20,567
You're really onto something
with this normal life.
467
00:20:20,610 --> 00:20:21,829
[Jake and Claire chuckle]
468
00:20:23,178 --> 00:20:25,920
Well, uh, we're happy
to have you here, Coops.
469
00:20:25,963 --> 00:20:27,530
And, uh, take it from us:
470
00:20:27,574 --> 00:20:30,185
sometimes $40 of gas
is all it takes.
471
00:20:30,229 --> 00:20:33,580
$40? I'm gonna need the number
of your jet fuel guy.
472
00:20:35,277 --> 00:20:36,800
Oh.Oh, you filled up her plane?
473
00:20:36,844 --> 00:20:39,977
Yeah.Different situation.
474
00:20:40,021 --> 00:20:41,892
Yeah, she said fueling up
her private jet
475
00:20:41,936 --> 00:20:44,025
was the most thoughtful thing
anyone's ever done for her.
476
00:20:44,068 --> 00:20:46,767
Thanks. $40, ha...
477
00:20:46,810 --> 00:20:47,855
Oh.
Ah.
478
00:20:47,898 --> 00:20:49,900
[phone buzzing]
479
00:20:49,944 --> 00:20:51,380
Cooper's phone.
480
00:20:51,424 --> 00:20:52,729
Uh...[clattering]
481
00:20:52,773 --> 00:20:55,384
Oh-- oh, my God. It's The Rock.
482
00:20:55,428 --> 00:20:56,342
Oh, my God. Are you serious?
483
00:20:56,385 --> 00:20:57,647
Yeah! Look.Can I see that?
484
00:20:57,691 --> 00:20:59,867
Ooh, wow.
[shouts, groans]
485
00:20:59,910 --> 00:21:00,911
Captioning sponsored by
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486
00:21:05,307 --> 00:21:08,354
Captioned by
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487
00:21:08,404 --> 00:21:12,954
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