All language subtitles for Happy Together s01e04 About Your Parents.eng

Hey, Jake,
I'm back from the framers.

I can't wait to get
this thing hung up on the wall.

Well, you won't have
to wait long, little lady.

There's a new sheriff in town,
and that frame is about to hang.

Mm. Ah, ah, ah.[whirring]

[exhales sharply]

[Southern accent]: Are you sure
that you're the sheriff?

Can I see your badge?

Well, you're gonna have
to wait about five minutes.

I was just upstairs
polishing it.

Okay, guys, hi. Hi, guys. Um...

Before you get too deep
into your cowboy role-play,

I just wanted to let you know
I'm in the room.JAKE: Oh, no, it's...

You can stay, Cooper.

Well, I guess I do
live here rent-free.

Give me one second, I'll go
upstairs, get my cowboy hat.

No, no, no, no. No.What? What? No. No. No.

Ha-ha. He means we're actually
hanging a photo. See?What? Oh.

It's from our wedding.

Aw.
Yeah.

You were so emotional.

And, Claire, you look gorgeous.

Step aside, Jake.

Your mother-in-law is here
to teach you how to screw.

Say something, Gerald.
I made it weird.

GERALD:
Uh...

Make way. Daddy's big drill
is coming through.

I made it worse.

Uh, Claire,
what are your parents

doing in our house again?

Oh. I-I just mentioned to them
that we were hanging a picture,

and they came over to help.

But I spent my whole morning
learning how to do this.

I started off googling
"well hung pictures," and...

...let's just say my confidence
could use a boost.

It's all good,
Jake. We got it.

Already got my
stud finder out.

Beep. Beep, beep,
beep. Uh-oh.

It looks like he found one.

Beep, beep, beep,
beep, beep, beep.

Beep, beep, beep-- wow!

[laughs]

Ha, ha.

Picture hung.
[whoops]

Construction work is hard.
Feels like we earned ourselves

a couple cold ones.

Already got 'em chilling
in my purse, baby.

[laughs]:
Yeah.[laughs]

Bye.Bye. Thank you.

Bye.
Mm. Bye.

Man, I love
living with you guys.

It's so nice to be
with a family of young adults

who aren't too proud
to let the older generation

do everything for 'em.

Claire, did you hear that?

Yeah. He called us young.

No, I'm talking about your
parents doing everything for us.

Cooper's right. I mean,
look at our wedding photo.

They chose the venue,
the flowers, your mom deejayed.

The only thing
I got to choose was you.

Aw.
Mm-mm, Claire,

don't get lost in my buttery
sweetness. I'm upset.

Come on, you know
how my parents are.

They love to do stuff for me
'cause I'm their pride and joy.

Also, they're afraid that
I'm gonna put them in a home.

Well, now that they're
retired, it's like

they took all their energy
from being doctors

and focused it entirely on us.

Well, us and drinking.

Well, us and drinking
and denying climate change.

♪ Imagine me and you, I do

♪ I think about you
day and night ♪

♪ It's only right

♪ So happy together.

[vocalizing]

[coughing]

[sniffles]

Hey.

As soon as I got your text
about being sick,

I went straight to CVS to pick
up a little Claire-package.

Uh, we've got DayQuil,
uh, VapoRub,

and both Imodium and Ex-Lax,

depending on the direction
of traffic.

Thanks. Uh, but what about work?

Ah, they're having a diversity
seminar, and I want them all

to sweat when they see
I'm not there.

I'm just so happy
you called me first,

and not your parents...That'll be all, Nurse Davis.

Mom and Dad are scrubbing in.

What are they doing here?

I swear, I didn't call them.

They came by to fix the garden
hose so they could wash my car,

and then, I don't know,

they just, they just
heard me sneezing.

This is exactly
what I'm talking about.

No, this is different,
because I am sick,

and they're doctors.

And plus, I don't like you
seeing me when I'm all gross.

Claire-bear, two months
into dating, you got so wasted

at a frat party,
you threw up a whole hot dog.

Sure, I had questions,

but I still thought you were
the hottest girl in the world.

Man, if I had kept it down,
I would've won that contest.

My point is, eventually,
we're gonna have kids, right?

And when we do, I want
to be the one you rely on.

Please let me prove
I can take care of you.

Aw. Well, that's really sweet.
[chuckles]

Okay. Uh, hey, uh, Mom, Dad?
You guys can go.

Uh, Jake's gonna
take care of me.

[both laughing]

Oh, my gosh. She's serious.

Jake, I-I don't want
to question your manhood

in front of your wife, so...Thank you.

...can we do this
in the kitchen instead?

[sighs]

All right, look,
I know you guys are nervous,

but I've taken care of Claire
when she's sick. All right?

Okay. Just so you know,
when Claire is sick,

she needs a ton of blankets...

Blankets. Yeah, yeah.
I got her covered.On-- okay. Oh.

Oh, okay. Well, she also needs
a steady rotation of herYeah.

favorite movies. Mm-hmm.Favorite movies. Yes, I got it.

Now, do you guys have
any actual medical advice?

Hold it. What about my famous
Kung Pao lettuce wraps?

You don't know about
those, do you? Yeah.

Little Eastern medicine secret
I picked up

while I was living in Beijing.

Yeah, as a wise
village elder

once said to me...
[clears throat]

Ni hao.

Well, as a wise village elder
once said to me...

[clears throat]

...get the hell out of my house.

All right,
my little petri dish.

I got a hot towel to help
open up your sinuses.

Here you go, my little
baby boo-- ew!

Oh, man.

Ugh.

Why are you just
staring at the ceiling?

'Cause you look like E.T.
when he started getting ashy.

But I love you, and I'm gonna
help you get through this.

So here's a towel for your face.
Wear it as long as you'd like.

Ooh. Thanks, baby.

You're welcome.

[sneezes]
Aw...

That was kind of cute.

A little dab for you.
[chuckles]

[sneezes][shouts]

Come on!

Ugh.

Oh, my God, Jake.

These lettuce wraps
are incredible.

I might write a
song about them. Really?

Nah. I mostly write songs
about butts.

Claire, can I make you a plate?

Oh, not right now.

This cough medicine's
giving me a nice buzz,

and I don't want
to mess that up.

Well, how about another movie?

Hey, uh, whoa,
whoa, whoa.

What are you guys doing here?

I said I have everything
under control.

You have snot in your eyebrow.

We respected your wishes
as long as we could,

but now we are here to
relieve you of your duties.

That's right.
We appreciate all your efforts

and so on and so forth,

blah, blah, blah.Okay. Dad, stop.

No, Jake is doing a great job.

I see all the blankets
and the movies.

What about
the lettuce wraps?

They're amazing. Try them.

JAKE:
Mm-hmm.

Yeah.Mmm. Wow.

Kid's got moves.

These are actually good.Mm-hmm.

As a wise Jake once said,
you're damn right they're good.

Honey, I-I can't believe
I'm saying this,

but I think Jake has everything
under control.

I know. Gerald, I don't, I don't
think they need us anymore.

JAKE:
Eh, well, guys,

I know it's hard
to let go of your baby, but...

We're free![both laugh]

Wait, what?

Ugh, we have been
living our lives

at half buzz
just in case, but Gerald...

...now that we're off the hook,
we can finally go crazy,

like, North Florida crazy.

[laughs]

Come on, baby, let's go.

Hey, dude. Take this.

Now that we've got them
out of our hair,

it's just me and my beautiful--
why do you look like that?

Goodness.

Hey, guys.
Man, I don't feel good.

Oh, no, I hope you didn't
catch what I have.

No. I think it's food poisoning.

Oh. That's what
those noises were?

I thought you were slowly
deflating a balloon.

Man, I'm sorry, Cooper.

Wait, aren't you performing
at the VMAs tonight?

Yeah. Yeah, I'll just, uh,
I'll just have to power through.

Uh, are you sure
that's a good idea?

Ah, it's just, it's just
an upset stomach. I'll be fine.

I mean, all I'm doing
is flying over the audience

in a white angel costume,
while performing a cover

of "Drop It Like It's Hot."

Okay, uh...

I think, uh,
you got to stay home, buddy.

Is that even an option?
I don't think

I've ever taken a day off work.

Oh, yeah, I guess
for rock stars,

a sick day usually
just means rehab.

Ugh, so what did
you eat today, anyway?

The only thing I've had
are Jake's lettuce wraps.

JAKE:
Okay.

Before we start throwing
accusations around

that we can't take back,
let me just say,

it wasn't the wraps
and you're a filthy liar.

Yeah-- Jake.

[high-pitched]: It wasn't
my wraps. It's not my wraps.

Your parents had them,
and they're fine.

You...

You did this to us
with your lettuce wraps.

They poisoned us in the middle
of our tennis match while...

[moans]
Oh, I'm so sorry, Gerald. No.

No. No.
No.

I'm sorry,
it's happening.

[sniffling, panting]

We tried to make it back
to our house, but we couldn't.

Jake, I need you
to move my car.

It's the one
with the doors open,

still running,
parked in your bushes.

That one's out of order.

[moans]

So, we were just about to beat

our old tennis rivals,
The Richardsons...

Oh, we had those cocky S.O.B.s
right where we wanted them.

Set point.

Okay, Mom, you're not
on the court anymore.

Come sit down.Oh, no.

I am in a match
with my stomach right now.

Oh, backhand down the line.

No, it hit the net.

Your mom went to serve,
then we got hit

by the same wave
of food poisoning,

all because we let this guy
take care of you.

Okay, hold on, Dad.

We can't blame all this on Jake.

Oh, it had to be
those damn wraps.

The only other food we had today

were olives, two celery sticks
and an orange peel.

So just cocktail
garnishes.

You guys probably have
alcohol poisoning.

I mean, how can germs
even survive

in that duty-free store
you call a stomach?

Then why is Cooper also sick?

Sorry to miss the VMAs, guys,

but, uh, I promise
I'll make it up to you all

when I'm feeling better.

Especially you, Lauren.

Oh, who's Lauren?

Don't know, but, uh,
12,000 girls named Lauren

just swallowed their retainers.

Great job, Jake.

We leave you in charge
for one day

and you poison
the whole family. You...

You're like a villain
from Game of Thrones.

Look, I am telling you,
this is all one big coincidence.

Okay, so, you're telling me
you washed your hands

before you started cooking?

Yes, Gerald.

And you cooked the chicken
all the way?

Yes, Bonnie.

And did you wash the lettuce?

Y...

Did I wash the lettuce?

Did Iwash
the lettuce?

Did I washthe lettuce?

Of course, Gerald. Of course.

What, do you think I thought the
grocery store washed it already

with the little mist thing?

Is that what you think
I thought?

Is that what you thought?

No, that is not what I thought.

Only an idiot would think
misting is washing.

Misting is not washing,
which I know

because I am
not an idiot.

Okay, fine.

Eat one.

A good chef never
eats his own food.

Eat the wrap, Jake.

If you washed the lettuce, you
have nothing to be afraid of.

Do I look afraid,
Uncle Phil?

I'm not. Watch.

Nom, nom, nom, nom, nom.

Do you not think we know
how eating works?

Gerald, I guess
we might as well

move our burial plots
to the backyard

because we are
gonna be taking care

of these dummies
for eternity.

[sighs]
You know what? Fine, fine.

Here, look. I'll
eat one. All right?

You want me to eat one,
I'll eat one.

No, Jake, you don't
have to do this.

It's okay if you messed up.

[laughing]:
Claire, I didn't mess up.

[high-pitched]: It's not,
it's not the wraps. It's not.

It's not the wraps, okay?

I can take care
of our family

by myself and I'll prove it.

Mmm.

You got about 20 minutes
to get your affairs in order.

Hey. How's my little
Febreze commercial?

[groaning]

So, my lettuce wraps have had
three hours of tummy time,

and guess what?

[singsongy]:
I feel incredible.

[all groaning]I'm sorry, I, uh,

don't speak groan,

but what I assume
you said was,

"Thank you so much for taking
good care of our daughter."

"Sorry we ever doubted you."

"P.S. That's a
great haircut."

Thank you, Gerald.

Yours, too.

We are sorry, Jake.

You didn't poison us and
you're doing an amazing job.

And...?

It is a nice haircut.

All right. Well, thank you two.

Who wants OJ?

There you go.

[affected]:
We've got some water for Cooper.

[groans]Bonnie, would you...?

Oh, no, no, no.
I-I made my own.

It's a special elixir
from Dr. Smirnoff.

Well, I'm gonna go to the
kitchen where I will continue

to be the most badass
caretaker on the planet.

I love you, babe.

I love you, too, boo.

[panting]:
I'm gonna d...

I'm gonna d...
I'm gonna die.

I'm gonna die.

I'm g... I'm gonna die.

[laughs, coughs]

GERALD: Jake?CLAIRE: Jake?

Jake...Jake, we're really
cold in here.

Come back, Jake.JAKE: Coming!

You can do this, Jake.
Jake, you can do th...

[gags, coughs]

Jake, you can do... [gags]

You can do this, man.

Okay.

Dug up a space heater
from the garage.

And since Claire's
using all the blankets,

I brought in floor mats
from the car to keep you warm.

I'll take the passenger side.

Thanks for everything, Jake.

And remember,
I will be your rock

until you all feel
as good as I do. [groans]

[doorbell rings]

Plugged in the
space heater.

[sighs]

Wayne, hey.
Hello, hi.

Cooper, your manager's here.WAYNE: I came to see

how you all are feeling,
and by "you all," I mean Cooper.

What are all
those things, Wayne?

Well, ever since you
posted that video,

our office has been overrun
with "get well" presents

from your fans.

They even sent a
cantaloupe Cooper.

There was a torso, too,

but I got a little hungry
on the way over.

Wayne, could you close the door?
We're all really cold.

Yeah. Turn up the ole
space heater for you guys.

There.

Hey, uh, Wayne, can I talk
to you in the kitchen?

Oh, sure. Nothing more fun

than a little bro time,
or so I've heard.

Oh.

Wayne, can I
ask you something?

If this is about us having
a boys' night, I am in.

No, I'm the one who gave
everyone food poisoning,

including myself.

I need you to help me make sure

that no one finds out
that I am sick

because I am killing it.

Congratulations.
Your couch is on fire.

Hell yeah, it is.

I know I use
a lot of slang,

but your couch is
literally on fire.

Oh, my God!

I put the space heater
too close.

You accidentally put the
space heater too close, Jake.

That's what the jury
needs to hear. [coughs]

[coughs]Ooh, this'll put it out.

No, that's not water.

[screaming]

Look at that coward
running away.

Aah!

COOPER:
Nice one, Jake.

Good thing I fixed
that hose earlier.

Has anybody tried these
lettuce wraps? They're amazing.

Well, better go.

Got my first date
since the big divorce.

Real special lady, too.

I'm taking her up
in a hot air balloon.

Yeah, for the next four hours,
it'll just be me, her

and the sweet silence
of life in the clouds.

Mmm.

Oh, God.

Oh, babe, you are sick.

Why don't you come
lay down on the couch?

All the embers are out.

No, no, no, I-I-I said
I was gonna take care of you

and that is exactly what
I'm gonna d... [gags]

Claire, hold my hair back.
Claire. [gags]

Babe, come on.

So you made one little mistake.

It's okay to admit it.

No, it isn't.

If I can't even take care
of my wife when she's sick,

how am I ever gonna be able
to take care of a kid?

[laughing]:
Don't worry.

After what you did today,

no one's gonna trust you
with their kid.

[laughs]
No, seriously.

Honey, you put
your own needs aside

to take care
of everyone else.

And if that's not proof
you're gonna be a great parent,

I don't know what is.

I guess that's true.
It is.

And even if you did
poison everyone else,

I'm actually starting
to feel better,

so technically,
you did take care of me.

Yeah, you're right.[chuckles]

I'm the best husband ever.

All right, so now that
you've proven that,

can we still rely
on my parents to do some stuff?

Oh, it'll probably be kind of
helpful when we have kids, huh?

Yeah, yeah. We can get them
to do all the stuff

that we don't want to do.

You know, like-like assembling
strollers and changing diapers.

Paying for college.

They would be
so good at that.

So good.
[laughs]

Okay. Thank you again
for taking care of me.

I love you.
I love you, too.

Oh.
Mmm.

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