Original subtitles

- What shall I have? - I don't know.

- I'm not hungry. - How about a steak?

- That's a good idea. - Chateaubriand?

- Or filet mignon? - Chateaubriand.

Two of them.

- Rare or medium rare? - Rare.

Rare.

- Warm. - Of course.

What time did you leave Monte Carlo?

I left at...

Nothing to start with?

No, thanks.

He's upset that we're not ordering more.

Want to make him happy?

Do you have any rooms?

This movie was my way of wishing you a Happy New Year.

Warden, tell them to open the doors.

Egotist. You'll never fool them with that.

Ever heard of black shoe polish?

Yeah, I've heard of it.

Before the movie, they'll frisk us good.

200 guys will celebrate New Year's Eve at home tonight.

You're an egotist and an idealist.

You'll just spoil it for everybody.

Simon, report to the warden.

What's the movie tonight?

Some love story.

- They're all here. - Bring them in.

Gentlemen, I wanted to offer you my best wishes...

...for good health and prosperity,

...for liberty and honesty.

This may surprise you, since you are prisoners,

...but as you know, every year at this time,

...paroles are granted. And you three...

...have been granted paroles this year.

You'll celebrate New Year's Eve at home tonight.

I tell you I didn't break out!

We got special New Year paroles!

It's not a joke!

I'll explain when I see you. I'll be right there.

You're not calling?

Tell the old man the cab's here.

Wait for me!

Happy New Year.

- Happy New year. - Same to you, kid.

Take the first right.

- It's not the right way. - I'm in no hurry.

First left.

It's still not the right way.

Left again.

Hope you're having fun.

Now, to Faubourg St Honore.

Happy New Year.

Hello, Henri?

Françoise?

Are you here?

How could I answer? I just got here!

I thought you were home. The lights are on.

Want me to help you close up?

Very well, my dear!

Hurry home. I've got some ideas for tonight.

♪ The Happy New Year is a cup of holiday cheer ♪

♪ Heaven's Christmas present to you ♪

♪ The Happy New Year ♪

♪ Ring out the old, ring in the new ♪

♪ Say goodnight to the sleepy old year... ♪

Reception desk, please.

Is there still a nightclub called Michou?

Michou... that's right.

♪ The Happy New Year opens the way for you ♪

♪ To hope all your dreams will come true... ♪

- Michou here? - After the show.

♪ The Happy New Year is the smile of a man ♪

♪ Who speaks the truth like a man ♪

♪ The Happy New Year is a cup of holiday cheer ♪

♪ Heaven's Christmas present to you... ♪

Thank you, Mireille Mathieu, for joining us.

Happy New Year, everyone!

Push the button to talk.

Screwball!

Excuse me, I forgot my wallet.

- What color is it? - Black.

- Sure you had it? - I had my train ticket in it.

Marseilles. Seven minute stopover.

- Mileage? - 25,000 miles.

Here's your $7,000.

It's not cheap, for two weeks.

Try Avis next time.

Nice to have known you.

Registration's there.

Super.

Super classy here!

You screwball... lifting that guy's wallet!

You in a bad mood?

- The car? - Safely hidden.

Can't say that of myself, working with you.

What am I doing with a character like you,

...a real caricature!?

Some day I'll figure it out.

Did you break anything?

We were lucky.

Everyone is trailed by a dumb shadow.

But a shadow is your own reflection.

Why am I stuck with you? Who did we murder?

Hardly anybody.

Three clerks, the manager and a doorman.

Bulletproof windows and cast-iron shutters.

An ultra-modern safe,

...burglar alarms everywhere,

...all connected to police headquarters!

It's crazy.

Know what's tragic about you, Charlot?

You're stupid and you're leery!

Being stupid is enough.

The jewelry store is uncrackable.

Uncrackable.

Uncrackable.

I'm too old for safe-cracking, young man.

Your moustache.

- It's loose. - Where? Don't touch it!

That's one's pretty, too.

- Would you like a chair? - No, thanks.

At my age, I'm afraid I wouldn't get up again.

Very pretty.

- How much is that one? - $10,980.

$11,000.

May I help you?

You see, Jeweler, what bothers me...

...is that I prefer the less expensive one.

The value of a piece of jewelry...

...depends on the moral price one attaches to it!

That one is pretty, too.

I hesitate...

It's no good to hesitate, is it?

Hesitate, my dear sir, do hesitate!

Your hesitation honors our selection.

- Take your time. - I don't know...

The rubies... the pearls... the diamonds.

- If it's not indiscreet... - For my sister.

She's in a hospital in Nice.

Her condition is getting worse.

She's 68 years old.

68? Then I don't know...

You said that one costs $11,000.

$10,980.

That's very annoying! Why not $10,999 then?

Jewelers should deal in round numbers!

I say it's absurd!

All right, I'll take that one after all.

Give me a chair.

- A chair! Please excuse us. - You take checks?

- Yes, of course. - Wrap it in a pretty package,

...very pretty.

Be careful not to tear it.

Take it easy!

Unspeakable... absolutely unspeakable.

Rotten...

...no, gamy! That's the word.

That proves he loves money.

And that means he's vulnerable.

He's not the only one.

How do you know he loves money?

By the way he said goodbye.

You're very kind.

- Do you want a cab? - No thanks,

...a little walk along the Croisette will do me good.

Where can I find a newsstand?

Straight ahead, about 100 yards.

My respects to your sister!

I wish her a speedy recovery.

You don't want a cab?

Uncrackable!

The store, but not the store manager!

- It's only the two of us. - The three of us,

...counting the manager.

Uncrackable!

The world consists of customers and merchants.

And customers should start screwing the merchants!

That says it all.

- But we're not customers! - Only you and I know that.

Uncrackable...

A jerk like you in on the first psychological heist.

When the cops bust us,

...psych our way out of it, okay?

8:45...

...the store manager arrives.

Write down that he goes in the back way.

8:50... main shutter is raised.

8:55... salesgirls arrive.

Three of them!

Pretty?

Pretty.

9:00...

...manager lowers main shutter again.

Employees all inside...

...able to stock display windows, undisturbed.

9:23...

...jewelry in windows...

...daytime security functioning...

...store ready for business.

9:35... doorman arrives.

Underline that for me.

I underline that.

9:36... that's very nice!

We are knocking over Van Cleef & Arpel's?

- Sure, why? - You're pulling to the left.

What about the parallax?

Let's see the parallax.

You've got a blonde parallax.

Brunette!

Blonde!

Just like I said...

...you're stupid, leery and color-blind!

Maybe she dyes her hair. Do you think antiques can help us?

You never know.

Let's see.

No, look that way!

Is that all you could find?

It's not so bad.

Say something...

...I mean, disguise your voice.

Don't I look more intelligent?

Try disguising your voice. Disguise your voice!

- Don't I look more intelligent? - I said, disguise your voice!

I did.

Try talking without moving your lower jaw,

...as if you were paralyzed, see?

Say hello.

Count.

You're speaking normally!

- Speak normally. - I think so.

Me too.

Want to know something?

It'd be best if I didn't talk.

You're right!

I think it's that one.

Yes, I'm sure it was the rubies.

Please excuse my master, his sister's so hesitant.

- So he told me. - Here is the other clip.

- A pretty package, please. - It's $700 more.

My master remembered.

My master likes pretty packages.

Today's special is excellent. I'll be right back.

Say, how much do you want...

...for that 18th century miniature?

You can't buy anything more...

...till you sell me your Louis XVI table!

My little Louis XVI table...

Give me a price!

A priceless family heirloom can't be sold.

You say that... to me?

Goodbye. Enjoy the movie.

Now, have you decided?

Not yet. Could I speak to the owner, please?

That's me.

I wanted to ask about your table.

Our "table"? The best in Cannes!

I'm sure it is, but I meant that one over there.

- It's contagious! - How much?

It's not for sale. It's my father's.

- Where is he? - In the cemetery.

- Now, have you decided? - Stuffed mussels.

Coming right up.

I'd still like to talk about that table.

There's nothing more to be said.

I don't want to sell it.

It's too expensive, you couldn't buy it!

How about a drink?

I'd like to sell this.

That's Madame Felix's table!

Do you know her?

Yes, I know her.

Why are you laughing?

Nicole.

Come see Madame Felix's table.

Recognize it?

I feel as if I've brought in a monster, or a pyramid!

How did you know I loved this table?

I didn't know, but that's fine, since I want to sell it.

So she sold it... to you.

She refused to sell it yesterday.

That was yesterday. This is today.

Let's say I paid the price.

Now you want to sell it to me for a higher price.

That doesn't interest me. Let me explain.

It was a present,

...a present for a lady.

The lady departed this morning.

Is this a joke?

Why don't you call and ask Madame Felix?

You know you have a pretty smile?

Do tables always make you smile like that?

That table... yes!

Let's not get excited!

It is beautiful, isn't it?

- If you say so. - You have the certificate?

Who cares! This table is signed.

And what a signature. Nicolas Cochin...

...the enemy of all the rococo and decadent ornamentation...

...that characterized Louis XV furniture.

- How much? - $9,000.

- You paid $9,000 for it? - When you give a lady a present...

- You give nice ones! - Usually, yes...

- ...when I feel like it. - That's an expensive gift.

A present is never expensive enough.

- I don't think you know prices. - I know ladies.

- I'm not interested. - Really?

- Not at that price. - And on consignment?

Is that possible? How about it?

I could do you a favor. I couldn't make a profit on it.

You're very kind.

I'm at the Carlton.

I'm staying for about three weeks... for a rest.

The table might as well be here...

I can't guarantee that I'll be able to sell it.

Nicole, would you...

I'm in room 629.

At least revolutions increase the value...

...of the things they destroy.

Go ask Madame Felix about this.

It stays open during lunch hour.

The employees go out in turn.

The manager stays in, the whole time.

Interesting, don't you think?

You listening?

The salesgirls go to lunch first.

When they come back, the salesman and the doorman go.

So there are three people inside from 12:30 to 2:30 PM.

Interesting, isn't it?

You listening?

You're not listening.

When the manager goes out, it's to buy pastries.

He went four times yesterday.

- Has he got any vices? - Women and pastry.

Who told you all that?

The baker's wife.

Important and interesting...

...the store closes from January until Easter.

We pull it off by January,

...or put it off till next year.

Great! Don't you like the Riviera?

Do you like Louis XVI?

You mean, the guy they...

No, I mean, his style.

The furniture style.

Are we here for business or pleasure?

You never know.

Is the manager here?

Is anything wrong?

No, no, my sister adores the clip.

Now she'd like a bracelet...

...that matches the clip.

An old lady's passion.

- That's how it is. - How is she?

Much worse.

It's terrible to hesitate this way.

He doesn't want a chair.

It's really a problem.

I can't decide.

It's the kind of responsibility I detest!

Perhaps we can help you.

In the past, it was simple.

My sister's only passion used to be pastries.

How well I understand her!

Furthermore, a chocolate eclair...

...costs less than a sapphire.

Different dividends.

You're very funny... and a gourmand, I'm sure.

I knew it!

It seems to me that this one...

You think so? Well, I'll listen to you.

I'll take that one. How much?

$20,000.

Round numbers, this time.

But you know I think... I believe...

I'd like you to give me a discount.

I'm afraid that's not our way of doing business!

I must confess to you...

...it's not mine, either.

I did it because everyone else does.

I'll take the one for $20,000.

A Pretty package?

- That above all. - That's important to you.

My sister was very pleased.

Give me have a pen.

A chair! I can't write...

A chair! How many times must you be told?

And excuse me for trying to haggle.

My best wishes to your sister!

How much?

An exceptional piece... with an exceptional price.

Of course. Do you have a certificate?

The table is signed.

Signatures are meant to be forged.

I know the Louis XVI style was copied under Napoleon III,

...but not to equal the perfection of Nicolas Cochin.

Ah, yes... the enemy of rococo.

- You are a connoisseur. - You might say that.

How much?

$10,000.

Louis XVI is all the rage right now.

You might even call it madness!

You did say $10,000?

Not including the two chairs.

I don't understand... about the two chairs.

I'd like to sell them together, same period and style.

I'm terribly sorry.

I'm only interested in the table.

They go so well together.

I am truly sorry!

Because you are very pretty!

I think that, at my age, I can say that.

- You're very kind. - Too bad...

Listen...

It's a sacrifice, but you can have the table.

Just the table, for $10,000.

That's so nice of you that I'll take it.

I'll give you a deposit,

...and send my chauffeur for it.

Won't you come inside?

Won't you sit down?

No, I never sit down... never.

Point one, four seconds... car starts.

Cut, but don't burn rubber.

Point two, 13 seconds... Felix Restaurant.

Point three, 20 seconds... Hotel Miramar.

It's a straight shot, so fly!

Point four, 25 seconds... Hotel Martinez.

Maximum 95 MPH, to be able to slow down going onto the dock.

Start to slow down.

Not over 25 MPH passing the port guards.

Point five, 45 seconds... good.

Speed up gradually until the port guards are out of sight.

At the boats, take off again.

Watch that turn.

Now take off to the end of the dock,

...but don't go over 95 MPH.

Put more air in the tires.

You're going to start to brake.

Brake.

Point six, 1'1'' you get to the boat.

Stow the goods and anchors aweigh.

Hug the rail on that turn.

Point seven, 1'32''... out of the port.

Maximum 20 knots to the lighthouse.

Point eight, 1'40".

From here on, it's clear sailing.

Steer straight for San Remo,

...and wait there till I come.

1'40". I'll hold the manager that long.

Police? Van Cleef was just held up...

...by an old man and his chauffeur. They went toward the station.

1'58".

1'58" for me, plus 2'13" for the car...

Call it four minutes. We're covered.

The important thing is that for over two minutes,

...I've got to keep the manager quiet.

I still say you should split when I do.

Let's see if you can tell time.

It's 1'58".

Okay, 1'58" plus 2'13" is 4'11".

That beats any alarm system.

Let's go home.

Will you answer that?

Louis XVI?

It's Marie-Antoinette.

This is the antique shop.

I think I have good news for you.

It took a lot of time and effort.

I called antique shops, and put many ads...

...I think I've found a customer.

$8,000 is about as high as he'll go, though.

That's pretty good, isn't it?

We'll have to talk about it.

People buy anything... Gothic, modern,

...African, Turkish, rococo... anything at all.

No wonder it's hard to sell Louis XVI.

Perhaps it's the historical person...

...his bad reputation.

All those styles in furniture...

Louis XIV, XV, XVI and all the others...

...and today we haven't got any real ones.

What do you mean?

You'd think there'd be a Churchill desk,

...a Stalin table or a Kennedy rocking chair!

- What do you do? - Manufacturer.

Of what?

I'm in ice... cream.

You know, ice cream that you eat.

I was wondering why you were taking a vacation in the winter.

Winter is my dead season...

...so I take vacations.

Ice cream must be fascinating.

It has periods... just like furniture.

There are vanilla periods... pistachio... chocolate.

In 1961, raspberry was all the rage.

So someone wants my table?

But he'll only pay $8,000.

So you told me. So I lose $1000 on the deal?

Not quite... if I pay for dinner.

In that case, I can hardly refuse!

I'll write you a check.

No hurry... we're not on piecework.

Isn't this a business dinner?

Absolutely!

Write it for cash.

Furniture comes and goes!

I'd like a word with you.

So you sold it to a stranger!

You might even say I oversold it. Didn't I rob you?

Yes, except that I let myself be robbed,

...so it's not robbery.

$9,000 is financial manipulation!

$9,000?

That was the asking price.

Watch out, he's very charming!

He got it for $7,000.

And you dared?

So I'm the one who loses $1,000.

Not quite... because I'll pay for dinner.

- I don't know my own business! - Are you mad at me?

There you are... two marriages, two divorces!

They both graduated from big universities, too.

You should get the next one fresh out of prison.

Anyway, marriage as it exists today...

...is the most odious of lies, the height of egotism.

- What's that from? - Don't ask me.

Tolstoi, "The Kreuzer Sonata."

Simple statements and common sense.

He reminds me of Alain.

Who's he?

You read a lot?

By the ton!

But not what you'd call "culture."

Culture is what's left when all the rest is forgotten.

- I like that. - It's not mine.

Whose is it?

Selma Lagerloef.

Gesundheit!

Never heard of her.

A Swedish writer, 1909 Nobel Prize winner.

Do you live your whole life with intellectuals?

Oh, no! Not with them.

Let's say... next to them.

Your little friends must be very funny guys.

Do they laugh when it hurts?

- What do you mean? - Well, what you just said...

But I like to hear you talk.

And I like to have you listen.

Good listeners are rare.

He lived vicariously.

He prayed with Mauriac, protested with Clavel,

...committed suicide with Camus.

It couldn't go on.

Really something else.

Who's the man in your life these days?

Some other museum guide?

An Italian guide!

The thing about culture is that...

...you tend to meet educated people.

But, if I understand correctly...

...even culture doesn't make a woman happy.

What is a woman?

What do you mean?

What do you think a woman is?

- I think a woman is... - What?

A man who cries sometimes!

Very good! Whose is it?

It's mine. 1966.

So you've really only been divorced twice.

Number one wasn't jealous, but number two knew only that...

...two extremes... two defeats.

Now I'm independent, I'm a liberated woman.

Where does your Italian guide fit in?

Museums aren't always open!

I know I'm being indiscreet, but...

...what about the lady you got the table for?

What lady?

No memory...

...a liar...

...and married?

If you love a woman,

...why insult her by proposing?

I like that!

Marriage is only a contract.

Contracts are for people who are afraid.

Afraid of what?

Just afraid, that's all.

Can you elaborate on "marriage-as-fear"?

Of course I can.

You might say it's...

...the fear of solitude and of freedom.

Because real freedom always leads to solitude.

That's marriage!

What else?

It's the fear of facing two fried eggs alone some night,

...with no TV and no life insurance.

It's the fear of finding yourself alone...

...without someone who is even more scared than you are.

It's a prison!

It's worse. In prison, you've got pals.

Anyway, you look like anything but a married woman.

How should I take that?

How you should take that?

As an invitation for Christmas Eve dinner tomorrow.

Italy comes to France tomorrow night.

Our dinner guests wouldn't amuse you.

Intellectuals?

Why not move Christmas Eve ahead 24 hours?

The Carlton has plenty of champagne...

...and comfortable suites.

Too bad!

Something tells me I goofed!

Which was it,

...the champagne or the suites?

It was the word "comfortable."

A Freudian slip.

Have a good night.

Too bad.

- Take you home? - My car's right there.

Stupid bastard!

"Comfortable"! Where did I dig that up from?

Don't worry about waking somebody up.

Louis XVI stock still going up?

I goofed on the champagne and the comfort.

Whatever that means. Did you score or not?

You're so tactful.

Did you ask about her salesgirl?

That's all we talked about.

Try making it with Swedish quotes.

You didn't score.

It's nice, a woman who talks...

...and talks well.

Still interested in Van Cleef?

I've got important things to tell you.

Can't it wait till tomorrow?

Oh, sure!

How about a boat ride tomorrow?

What a question!

- Did you go out? - Yeah, why?

You smell of cologne.

Hello... it's me again.

No, I called to apologize.

For the champagne... and the comfort.

I've rented a boat for tomorrow afternoon.

I'd really like to talk to you some more.

The salesgirl!

And if your salesgirl could come along,

...my secretary'd be overjoyed.

Secretary!

Should I have said, my gunslinger?

I goofed three times.

The champagne, the comfort and the boat.

For a guy who's supposed to pull off a psychological heist...

...that's not too good.

I've come for the little table.

Here's the check.

Thank you. Shall I wrap it for you?

Be careful! It's fragile.

See you later.

Midnight, right?

It's not dressy?

Shall I serve right away?

- We'll serve ourselves. - Merry Christmas.

Same to you.

We'll have color TV soon.

Merry Christmas!

Here, screwball.

Want to get two whores for tonight?

Come on. Not tonight.

Midnight Mass if you want, but no whores.

You're right. They'll all be in church anyway.

After Van Cleef... the drugstore?

- Know what it is? - A watch?

It's a grenade! Here, I'll show you.

You set it there, and you turn that.

Set if for any time.

Push down and you've got 30 seconds.

Blasts three square yards.

- Terrific! Where'd you get it? - It's Japanese.

What is this?

Authentic Louis XVI.

It's beautiful! Come here.

You blew a fortune on that.

Merry Christmas.

What if it explodes?

Just don't push the button.

Japanese know-how.

Haven't been to midnight Mass since 1954, in jail.

On this Christmas Eve of 1966, peace has returned.

For the next 24 hours, as if by magic,

...violence will be forgotten in the world.

It will be forgotten everywhere,

...except in this little church in Cannes...

I'm afraid I don't see what you mean.

That's interesting!

With your right eye on Marx,

...and your left on the Bible,

...you've become ideologically cross-eyed!

I know you only meant to analyze...

...the kind of religion we witnessed tonight.

But it's simply man's alienation...

...forged by bourgeois reactionaries.

But what is more reactionary than the Ten Commandments?

The Constitution of 1789!

You haven't said anything.

I don't go to church much.

And you, sir?

I'm wondering why the hell you went to church.

- Don't get angry. - I'm not getting angry.

Mass is both a rite and a spectacle,

- ...isn't it, Claude? - Absolutely!

Reality is never one-sided.

What is black one day may be white the next.

Weekday atheists can be Sunday believers.

Take Pasteur, who accepted miracles,

...but not spontaneous generation.

My world is much simpler.

On one side, there's people I like...

...on the other, those I don't.

Perhaps you prefer the accordion.

May I reply to that?

Don't be offended,

...but how did you ever meet Françoise?

Would you mind changing the subject?

Have you seen "Prima della Revoluzione"?

Bertolucci directed it.

And Bellochio's "Pugni in Tasca"?

Surely you've seen "A Man and a Woman"?

Everyone is raving about it.

If you like windshield-wipers and tranquilizers!

- Do you read critics? - No.

Then how do you choose a movie?

The way I choose a woman...

...by taking risks!

Thank you and Merry Christmas.

Now I'm kicking you all out.

Go on... quick!

Françoise!

We know they have no sense of humor...

...but not you... Not us.

Be nice and go! I've seen enough of you.

Well, good night.

Merry Christmas!

You were unfair.

And you were indulgent?

You were worse than everyone else!

Calm down.

Christmas Eve in the courtroom.

I happen to like accused men.

Now you get out, too. Go back to Italy.

- You're crazy. - All right, I'm crazy.

I want to make love to an illiterate, a savage...

...a mute, a Martian...

...a man.

You don't like my way of making love?

You mean, your sophomoric pillow talk.

Should've gotten the whores!

- What's that? - What do you think?

I wish I had spent the evening with you,

...and only you.

I wanted you to know that.

I'm glad you called me.

I'm glad you came over.

You're not an ice cream manufacturer!

Is it fun to live like a guy?

You're not the type who vacations in Cannes.

I asked if it's fun to live like a guy.

When there are no men in sight, it helps.

It's a bitch.

What?

I have to go back to Paris today and I think it's really a bitch.

I got the picture.

Don't worry, the scar won't show.

How old are you?

Not as old as you.

I've never seen anyone like you.

Meaning?

You're a fast worker.

Why do you say that?

The way you say you kicked them all out last night.

That's moving fast.

Women are more honest than men.

We don't know how to pretend, so we work fast.

When you break up...

...don't you give any advance warning?

Oh, yes!

But no one ever believes it.

It's good to be adults.

Affairs don't need to be justified.

They start with a look and end with breakfast.

And so life is like a movie.

Another story ends on a railway platform.

Who says it's ended?

David Lean, Minelli...

...Chaplin.

I promise to go to the movies now.

- Open this after I leave. - What is it?

It belonged to my sister.

Your sister?

She's departed now.

- Like the lady! - That's right.

I want to kiss you.

I opened it. I had to thank you!

What if we blow it?

I said, what if we blow it?

It'll be your fault.

Someday tell me what psychology is, okay?

It's the art of screwing others before they screw you.

Is that all?

No. But it's enough for today.

Your customer.

At the window.

How are you?

Not very well. My sister is much worse.

The doctors are very worried.

In fact, that's why I'm here today.

I'd like to give her one last present.

I understand.

I want something very special.

- But I don't know what. - You hesitate?

Come in... take your time choosing.

You understand, something special.

A last present, after all...

Again my choice is not the most expensive one.

It costs $70,000!

I regret hesitating like this again.

Please excuse me.

At that price, it's natural.

You don't happen to have pictures of these?

Too bad, because then I could have shown them to my sister.

She could have chosen for herself.

Furthermore,

...she would have had the pleasure...

...of participating, you see?

Would you permit me to take pictures?

Is that possible?

It's most unusual. But, yes, for your sister.

Thank you so much, you're very kind.

Everything's fine... you're really very kind.

I'll drive to Nice right away and show them to her.

I'll be back later to get the one she chooses.

Please, no later than 7:30.

For security reasons,

- ...we must close precisely at 7:30. - I'll be on time.

Time to close!

It's cold!

You can get the trays.

I always come by bicycle.

It's the only way to beat traffic.

Good for the thighs, too.

You two going to dinner?

I'm expecting a phone call.

I'll let you know later.

Try to be on time tomorrow.

Van Cleef & Arpel's. Set the alarm system, please.

Thank God we're on time!

I thought we'd be stuck in traffic forever.

There! She chose the most expensive one.

I'm so sorry, everything's in the safe.

The night alarm is on.

- I said 7:30. - I understand,

...but this is so important to me.

I'm going to tell you something.

The doctors think that this is her last night.

It's horrible! I beg of you.

Do this for me.

Please wait here for me in your car.

No one is allowed inside while the safe is open.

Give me five minutes.

- Which one is it? - Yes, that one.

Van Cleef & Arpel's here.

I have to get something out of the safe.

Could you unlock the vault?

Of course! The sea is calm and all's well.

The sea is calm and all's well tonight?

- What's the date? - The 25th.

That's right.

You can reconnect the alarm.

The sea is still calm and all's well.

You're very kind.

Please excuse all these precautions.

After closing time, it's very complicated.

It is I who must apologize.

- This is the one? - Yes. How much?

$110,000.

Let me have a pen, please.

How idiotic! It never occurred to me.

I can't accept a check now! I should have told you.

But you had no problem with my other checks?

That's not the point.

Over $10,000, I must call the bank.

After 7:30, I can't!

What if I pay you in cash?

- No problem! - Fine.

Would you get my chauffeur?

Tell him I want my briefcase.

I'm so sorry! The security system's on,

...but I can't leave you alone in the store.

The orders come from Paris. I'm only the manager.

It's still absurd when you know the person!

We must hurry now.

I'm afraid I won't be in time.

It's beautiful!

I know it will make her very happy.

Put that right there, Richard.

You may go now, thank you.

Hold that for me, please.

There you are. Let's count it...

- Please verify the amount. - I'm sure it's not necessary!

You'll want a pretty package?

No, just put it in there.

I'm sure she'll be very happy.

Now I really must hurry!

- She'll like it! - Especially since she picked it herself.

And excuse me again. I'm only the manager.

My best wishes to your sister for a speedy recovery.

Hello. Yes, it's me again!

I now have a large sum of cash to put in the safe.

Please unlock the vault.

The sea is still calm and all's well.

Don't touch a thing.

This is a robbery.

Catch the bag.

Put everything in it.

Get to work!

Our money, too.

Hurry up!

On the floor.

The key.

Point one, all's well.

Point two, all's well...

Point four, all's well.

Point five, all's well.

Point six, all's well.

Point seven, all's well.

Point eight, all's very well.

What's wrong with the door?

Why is the door stuck?

You're going to tell me why.

Why?!

It's for you.

We know you're trying to rob Van Cleef's.

We'll be there in 30 seconds.

You can't get away!

The bastard!

It's not what you think.

When the doors of the safe and the vault...

...both stay open more than two minutes,

...all the doors lock...

...and the police gets a signal.

It can't be true!

We'll give you five minutes to come out of there.

Let me speak to Counselor Balento.

- What's going on? - It's a robbery.

We'll be moving in in five minutes!

I could go out with the manager as hostage.

- It's too high a price! - How high?

Don't take a hostage!

It's been nice knowing you.

There's no way out!

One minute left!

It's a bitch.

Shall I open it?

It's heartbreaking to see a man get arrested.

Accused men are my weakness.

I've still got a chance?

Imagine how I felt...

At noon I said goodbye to a nice guy,

...and the same night, I saw him arrested.

I'm glad you came.

When did you get to Paris?

This morning.

May I keep coming to see you?

Never ask a prisoner that.

I'm sorry, this is all new to me.

How do you become a crook?

The same way you become an antique dealer...

...by necessity, or by choice.

The Louis XVI table...

- ...what was that for? - To say hello.

Not to open the way into the jewelry store?

No, to open the way to you.

Couldn't you return the jewels?

Remember when we had dinner?

You asked me what a woman is.

Now I'll ask you if you know what a man is.

Someone who goes all the way.

You could've been somebody!

I am somebody!

Still dwelling in culture?

Culture today...

...is in the streets, demonstrating, making headlines.

For once, I can't touch a man I love.

Don't change too much!

Because in here, I'll go out of style fast.

Your hair is different.

- Don't you like it? - I do...

But usually, when a woman changes hairstyles,

...she's changing men.

I have changed men.

Are you jealous?

I've got time in here.

At the trial, I watched only you.

If I play it cool, I could be out in five years.

You never saw such panic!

De Gaulle may have flown to Germany.

It's almost civil war!

In here, we couldn't care less!

It's hard to believe!

- When did he die? - Last night.

- What time? - 7:00 PM.

- Was it his heart? - They didn't say.

- Where'll he be buried? - De Gaulle? Colombey!

You're sure to be paroled!

You won't recognize your apartment.

- Why not? - I've changed everything.

I'm living there.

They're laughing at the police again!

It's been awhile, right?

Have you read today's "Canard Enchaine"?

Get your weekly satire right here!

"Police Dance Last Tango in Paris!"

- "Is this the police? - This number has been disconnected!"

"Forget Your Troubles, Join the Police!"

"Politics Pollute Police!"

"Law and Order Leaves Lewd Odor!"

And here's the front-page headline,

..."Devaluation Hits French Copper!"

Very funny.

Heads are going to roll, but not mine!

You've got until the elections, March 4th,

...to clean up the Lyons bordello case...

...and the Leroy, Juglin and Van Cleef cases!

Till March 4th!

I've got an idea about the Van Cleef case.

We've got a chance!

Simon's lawyer has been demanding a parole.

Why don't we okay it?

When he gets out, he'll try to see his accomplice.

That means the jewels!

And it's the jewels we want, right?

Here's my decision! December 31st falls next week.

Does that ring a bell?

We'll make Simon think...

...he's being paroled for the New Year.

And once he's out, you stick to him like glue!

Simon. You should have called.

I only got out three hours ago, with a tail.

Don't look, they're out there.

Like my new face jobs?

Almost as much as the ones you'd made for me.

Michou, I'm here because I need a big favor.

But it puts you in the soup.

They let me out hoping to get my pal in the Van Cleef caper.

With me here, those two will think...

...that you're the one.

Keep them on that track for two or three days.

Then suddenly remember that in December 1966,

...you had a club in the Caribbean.

- Count on me. - Thanks, Michou.

They're all yours.

Here.

What's that?

It's for the New Year.

And for doing me a little favor.

Like what?

Turn right at the next corner...

...at full speed, and finish the trip alone.

No, he's not in. He's at a party.

Is it really important?

The party's in Aubervilliers.

At Maurice's, 24 rue Jean Jaures.

It was really important, right?

I want to talk to Charlot.

- Which Charlot? - With the grey hair.

Who's calling?

- Louis XVI. - Louis XVI?

- Who is it? - It's Louis XVI.

Which Louis XVI?

Happy New Year, screwball.

- Who's this? - It's me.

Who, me?

Me!

- Where are you? - Outside.

- Where outside? - Come out, I'm waiting.

How the hell can you be here?

- They let me out. - Really?

- To pull you in! - You got a tail?

I'm clean for a few hours.

Son of a bitch!

Six years!

How are you?

Six years!

You're not going to cry! How are you?

- Okay, and you? - I'll be okay.

I'm glad to see you.

I'm glad to see you, too.

Is it far?

It's far, but peaceful.

Have you seen Françoise?

Have you seen Françoise?

- Who is he? - How should I know?

She wants to live like a guy, so she lives like a guy!

Are you nuts, or drunk?

Everything's changed in the last six years!

I'll say it has!

Guys even talk like broads now!

Calm down. In a few days you'll catch on.

It is now official.

The prison break has succeeded.

Michel Barbier escaped from La Sante Prison unhindered,

...armed only with a gun he'd made out of bread.

- You in on it? - I didn't think it'd work.

Hats off to the kid!

You, opening a safe with a key?

Aren't they pretty?

Nothing but dollars?

How'd I know the bottom'd drop out?

And now... Orly Airport.

I tell you she loves you!

- And I tell you... Orly! - You don't get it!

Moron! A girl loves you,

...a pal's here to help you,

...you can't samba, and you still bug out to Brazil!

No baggage?

Freedom hasn't done much for you.

Wake up, Grandpa, it's 1973!

Broads live like guys now!

I don't want a guy in my bed!

Board in five minutes.

Right! Give me a week.

I'll dump everything and join you in Rio.

And Françoise?

What do I tell her?

- Nothing. - That's not nice.

It's me.

Who's me?

Did you escape?

No, I was paroled.

Listen...

...there's a man in my life.

- Where can I find a phone? - Over there.

- You've got five minutes! - I know.

It's me.

My love! Where are you?

At the prison door. I just got out.

Did you escape?

No, I got a special New Year's parole.

Hurry.

I guess I'd better have my coffee downstairs.

I can't even call you a bitch.

A man always tells a woman...

that he can love her and still live his own life.

Imagine it the other way around.

It's difficult.

But I'll try.

You like it?

I fixed a real breakfast for you.

You'll see how the place has changed.

You won't recognize anything.

Shall I fix you a bath?

I modernized the kitchen.

Make yourself at home.

You prefer coffee, right?

You're not taking off your coat?

It was my way of not dying.

It was my way of waiting... of staying alive.

Happy New Year.

I'll have some coffee now.