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1
00:00:02,135 --> 00:00:05,270
I have good news
for the women of Los Angeles.
2
00:00:05,272 --> 00:00:06,438
Dr. Will Stokes...
3
00:00:06,440 --> 00:00:08,407
back on the market.
4
00:00:10,276 --> 00:00:12,111
I thought I heard rain.
5
00:00:12,113 --> 00:00:15,381
But it must've been the sound
of panties dropping.
6
00:00:15,383 --> 00:00:17,049
It's been four months
to the day
7
00:00:17,051 --> 00:00:18,283
since I signed
my divorce papers,
8
00:00:18,285 --> 00:00:20,052
and I have decided
9
00:00:20,054 --> 00:00:21,954
to dive back in.
10
00:00:21,956 --> 00:00:23,288
Awesome!
Good for you.
Congratulations.
11
00:00:23,290 --> 00:00:24,390
I feel like I've aged
12
00:00:24,392 --> 00:00:25,457
in my oak barrel long enough.
13
00:00:25,459 --> 00:00:26,558
I think it's time to uncork
14
00:00:26,560 --> 00:00:28,360
this bottle of Will.
15
00:00:28,362 --> 00:00:30,396
"Bottle of Will." Uh-huh.
16
00:00:30,398 --> 00:00:33,565
When was the last time you asked
a woman out on a date?
17
00:00:33,567 --> 00:00:35,868
Uh, 1998.
18
00:00:35,870 --> 00:00:38,704
Okay, well,
I don't foresee any problems.
19
00:00:38,706 --> 00:00:41,974
Actually, Kate, we were quite
the dating duo in college.
20
00:00:41,976 --> 00:00:43,976
They used to call us
Pippen and Jordan.
21
00:00:43,978 --> 00:00:46,378
No, we were more like,
uh, Kobe and Shaq.
22
00:00:46,380 --> 00:00:48,414
Yeah, okay, I get it.
You were two overgrown men
23
00:00:48,416 --> 00:00:50,315
who liked to play
with your balls.
24
00:00:52,252 --> 00:00:53,552
Look, you're gonna
need some help,
25
00:00:53,554 --> 00:00:54,920
so we'll go to a bar together.
26
00:00:54,922 --> 00:00:56,088
I'll help you talk to girls.
27
00:00:56,090 --> 00:00:57,256
I don't need your help.
28
00:00:57,258 --> 00:00:59,091
You do, and lucky for you,
29
00:00:59,093 --> 00:01:00,259
I've got some free time.
30
00:01:00,261 --> 00:01:02,394
I'm gonna make you
my next project.
31
00:01:02,396 --> 00:01:04,163
Kate, I can meet women
on my own.
32
00:01:04,165 --> 00:01:06,031
I'm a 35-year-old single doctor.
33
00:01:06,033 --> 00:01:07,566
I mean,
women will-will come to me
34
00:01:07,568 --> 00:01:10,436
like moths to a... doctor.
35
00:01:10,438 --> 00:01:12,071
I think this ends
with you crying
36
00:01:12,073 --> 00:01:14,273
in the shower
while masturbating.
37
00:01:28,421 --> 00:01:31,056
Okay, pepperoni pizza
for everyone.
38
00:01:31,058 --> 00:01:32,291
All right.
39
00:01:32,293 --> 00:01:33,692
Except for Jules and Lowell,
40
00:01:33,694 --> 00:01:35,694
who get meat-free,
cheese-free,
41
00:01:35,696 --> 00:01:37,096
fun-free soy lover's pizza.
42
00:01:37,098 --> 00:01:38,764
Ah, thank you.
43
00:01:38,766 --> 00:01:41,600
Why don't you just eat the box?
44
00:01:41,602 --> 00:01:44,369
Well, I'm just gonna
grab a drink.
45
00:01:46,973 --> 00:01:49,041
Let me smell your meat.
46
00:01:50,477 --> 00:01:52,478
Jules, please.
47
00:01:52,480 --> 00:01:55,047
My wife is sitting
three feet away.
48
00:01:58,052 --> 00:01:59,284
That's me.
49
00:01:59,286 --> 00:02:01,386
Jules, why don't you
just have a slice?
50
00:02:01,388 --> 00:02:03,155
Because Lowell and I
are vegetarians.
51
00:02:03,157 --> 00:02:05,390
I just like the smell of meat.
52
00:02:05,392 --> 00:02:06,458
Oh, my God...
53
00:02:06,460 --> 00:02:07,559
You weren't a vegetarian
54
00:02:07,561 --> 00:02:08,827
before you met Lowell.
55
00:02:08,829 --> 00:02:10,062
You know, you always do this.
56
00:02:10,064 --> 00:02:11,163
Do what?
57
00:02:11,165 --> 00:02:12,998
Turn into your boyfriend.
58
00:02:13,000 --> 00:02:14,333
Oh, that is ridiculous.
59
00:02:14,335 --> 00:02:16,001
Name one time that I did that.
60
00:02:16,003 --> 00:02:19,371
Uh, when you dated that Canadian
and started saying "aboot."
61
00:02:20,673 --> 00:02:21,840
Or when you dated
the British guy
62
00:02:21,842 --> 00:02:23,575
and you started
a soccer riot.
Uh-huh.
63
00:02:24,811 --> 00:02:26,345
Or when you dated that pothead
and all you did
64
00:02:26,347 --> 00:02:29,748
was eat Hot Pockets
and not follow conversations.
65
00:02:29,750 --> 00:02:32,751
Okay, so-so I'm open
to learning new things.
66
00:02:32,753 --> 00:02:35,420
Lowell is turning me on
to a healthier lifestyle
67
00:02:35,422 --> 00:02:37,990
and I like that.
Babe, look,
68
00:02:37,992 --> 00:02:41,093
kombucha for two.
69
00:02:41,095 --> 00:02:43,162
What exactly is kombucha?
70
00:02:43,164 --> 00:02:45,764
Uh, it's just a tea made
with a symbiotic culture
71
00:02:45,766 --> 00:02:50,602
of bacteria and yeast that grows
a delicious drinkable fungus.
72
00:02:51,704 --> 00:02:54,540
Oh, my God, it started.
I can smell everything.
73
00:02:54,542 --> 00:02:55,841
That pizza smells gross.
74
00:02:55,843 --> 00:02:58,343
That diarrhea
you're drinking smells gross.
75
00:02:58,345 --> 00:03:00,112
And, Bobby,
76
00:03:00,114 --> 00:03:02,781
you smell really, really gross.
77
00:03:02,783 --> 00:03:04,049
No, he doesn't.
78
00:03:04,051 --> 00:03:05,851
He smells like cinnamon.
79
00:03:05,853 --> 00:03:07,553
Oh, boy. It's back.
80
00:03:07,555 --> 00:03:08,620
What's back?
81
00:03:08,622 --> 00:03:10,155
The Super Smell phase.
82
00:03:10,157 --> 00:03:11,890
Her pregnancy hormones
have kicked in.
83
00:03:11,892 --> 00:03:13,725
Now she can
smell everything.
84
00:03:13,727 --> 00:03:17,129
Which one of you dudes went
to a strip club today?
85
00:03:24,404 --> 00:03:26,638
I like looking at dongs.
86
00:03:38,418 --> 00:03:41,086
I see you're checking out
the Uniekaas Robusto.
87
00:03:41,088 --> 00:03:42,754
What?
88
00:03:42,756 --> 00:03:44,590
It's an aged goat cheese
with a nutty flavor.
89
00:03:44,592 --> 00:03:46,558
Pairs nicely with a Pinot Noir.
90
00:03:46,560 --> 00:03:48,260
Do you work here?
91
00:03:48,262 --> 00:03:50,662
No, I'm just a lover of cheese.
92
00:03:51,898 --> 00:03:53,265
And women.
93
00:03:53,267 --> 00:03:54,933
Can I start over?
94
00:03:57,270 --> 00:03:58,604
Hi.
Hi.
95
00:03:58,606 --> 00:04:00,505
Allow me to begin by saying
I'm a fellow shopper
96
00:04:00,507 --> 00:04:02,074
and a bit of a foodie.
97
00:04:02,076 --> 00:04:04,076
Might I recommend
the Chabichou?
98
00:04:04,078 --> 00:04:05,777
It's a creamy
natural-rind cheese
99
00:04:05,779 --> 00:04:07,946
that pairs beautifully
with a Chenin Blanc.
100
00:04:07,948 --> 00:04:09,915
Why are you telling me this?
101
00:04:09,917 --> 00:04:11,950
I'm a doctor.
102
00:04:11,952 --> 00:04:14,786
Why are you telling me this,
Doctor?
103
00:04:14,788 --> 00:04:18,023
Why is it so hard
to meet people?
104
00:04:19,692 --> 00:04:21,460
Hi, I'm a wealthy doctor.
105
00:04:21,462 --> 00:04:22,561
:
Well, not-not wealthy.
106
00:04:22,563 --> 00:04:24,129
I mean, comfortable.
107
00:04:24,131 --> 00:04:27,099
Yeah. My wife left me so I'm-I'm
staying with some friends,
108
00:04:27,101 --> 00:04:28,767
which is really
what I need right now.
109
00:04:28,769 --> 00:04:30,469
You know, I'm...
I'm healing.
110
00:04:30,471 --> 00:04:32,271
Bottom line, I am
111
00:04:32,273 --> 00:04:34,640
looking to meet a nice girl
in the cheese section.
112
00:04:34,642 --> 00:04:36,975
Sometimes I talk too
much when I'm nervous.
113
00:04:36,977 --> 00:04:38,143
Like now.
114
00:04:38,145 --> 00:04:40,312
And now.
115
00:04:40,314 --> 00:04:42,814
And just then.
116
00:04:48,054 --> 00:04:50,489
So I said to my assistant, if
you're gonna have a C-section,
117
00:04:50,491 --> 00:04:53,258
have it on the weekend,
you know what I mean?
118
00:04:53,260 --> 00:04:55,460
Thank you.
119
00:04:55,462 --> 00:04:57,296
You, uh... you want a bite?
120
00:04:57,298 --> 00:04:58,630
I won't tell anyone.
121
00:04:58,632 --> 00:05:00,465
I really shouldn't.
122
00:05:00,467 --> 00:05:02,467
Maybe just a little one.
Yeah.
123
00:05:02,469 --> 00:05:04,736
Just...
124
00:05:04,738 --> 00:05:05,871
Yeah.
125
00:05:11,512 --> 00:05:14,479
That is so freakin' good.
126
00:05:14,481 --> 00:05:16,014
Mm-hmm.
127
00:05:16,016 --> 00:05:18,583
Well, you can have
another bite if you w... Oh.
Mmm.
128
00:05:22,690 --> 00:05:24,756
¶ ¶
129
00:05:49,048 --> 00:05:50,882
I think that burger
might be enjoying this
130
00:05:50,884 --> 00:05:52,250
as much as you are.
131
00:05:57,290 --> 00:05:59,891
Maybe more.
132
00:06:07,467 --> 00:06:09,668
Anybody want to order food
from Poquito Mas?
133
00:06:09,670 --> 00:06:11,603
Hey, uh, my restaurant's
still open.
134
00:06:12,739 --> 00:06:15,807
Anybody want to order food
from Poquito Mas?
135
00:06:15,809 --> 00:06:18,377
I'm not hungry because
I ate a big giant salad.
136
00:06:18,379 --> 00:06:20,746
Sunflower seeds
and garbanzo beans
137
00:06:20,748 --> 00:06:22,581
and super yummy
alfalfa sprouts...
138
00:06:22,583 --> 00:06:25,250
You're overcorrecting.
Shut it down.
139
00:06:25,252 --> 00:06:26,418
I'm good.
140
00:06:27,588 --> 00:06:29,554
So, uh, Kate,
141
00:06:29,556 --> 00:06:31,490
I was thinking
maybe you and I could, uh,
142
00:06:31,492 --> 00:06:32,824
go to a bar this weekend.
143
00:06:32,826 --> 00:06:34,493
You know, just for fun.
144
00:06:34,495 --> 00:06:36,161
Hmm. Interesting.
145
00:06:38,264 --> 00:06:39,331
What?
146
00:06:39,333 --> 00:06:41,733
I thought Dr. Stokes
had it covered.
147
00:06:41,735 --> 00:06:43,935
Thought he was gonna
uncork himself
148
00:06:43,937 --> 00:06:46,004
all over the ladies
of Los Angeles.
149
00:06:46,006 --> 00:06:48,673
That is all... in process.
150
00:06:48,675 --> 00:06:50,876
I just thought, in the meantime,
it would be fun to hang
151
00:06:50,878 --> 00:06:52,277
with one of my closest friends.
152
00:06:52,279 --> 00:06:54,279
And, yet, what I'm hearing is,
153
00:06:54,281 --> 00:06:56,281
"Please, please, please help me.
154
00:06:56,283 --> 00:06:58,250
I'm a loser."
155
00:06:58,252 --> 00:07:00,786
All right, look, maybe I could
use a wingman, all right?
156
00:07:00,788 --> 00:07:04,289
I mean, Red here used to be my
wingman but he's out of the game
157
00:07:04,291 --> 00:07:07,292
and even when he was in the
game, he didn't have much game.
158
00:07:07,294 --> 00:07:08,960
What are you talking about?
159
00:07:08,962 --> 00:07:11,430
I used to do my magic tricks
for chicks at bars.
160
00:07:11,432 --> 00:07:12,564
They loved it.
161
00:07:12,566 --> 00:07:13,765
What's that
behind your ear?
162
00:07:13,767 --> 00:07:16,101
Oh, it's my phone number.
163
00:07:18,938 --> 00:07:20,105
Wow.
164
00:07:20,107 --> 00:07:22,274
And you're married.
165
00:07:22,276 --> 00:07:23,608
Okay, you know what?
166
00:07:23,610 --> 00:07:26,812
Congratulations-- you're
officially my project.
167
00:07:26,814 --> 00:07:28,980
Never wear that shirt again.
168
00:07:28,982 --> 00:07:31,783
This shirt is very this season.
169
00:07:31,785 --> 00:07:34,519
You look like the end
of a roll of Scotch Tape.
170
00:07:37,990 --> 00:07:40,125
Okay, I smell bacon.
171
00:07:40,127 --> 00:07:41,793
And not just bacon
172
00:07:41,795 --> 00:07:43,795
but a bacon cheeseburger,
173
00:07:43,797 --> 00:07:45,063
possibly a double.
174
00:07:46,666 --> 00:07:48,400
Ugh! Which one of you
175
00:07:48,402 --> 00:07:50,635
had a big, gross
bacon cheeseburger?
176
00:07:52,339 --> 00:07:54,039
Okay, one of you did.
177
00:07:58,312 --> 00:08:00,579
Oh, no. I was wrong.
178
00:08:02,982 --> 00:08:05,083
No burger here.
179
00:08:06,519 --> 00:08:09,354
It couldn't have been Jules.
Uh, she's a vegetarian.
180
00:08:09,356 --> 00:08:12,357
Right, Jules?
181
00:08:12,359 --> 00:08:13,792
Okay, it was me!
182
00:08:13,794 --> 00:08:15,360
I ate a burger.
183
00:08:15,362 --> 00:08:16,995
With bacon.
184
00:08:16,997 --> 00:08:18,697
And I loved it.
185
00:08:21,434 --> 00:08:24,703
All right, I don't want
to make a scene...
186
00:08:24,705 --> 00:08:28,073
but my world
has just been rocked.
187
00:08:29,442 --> 00:08:31,376
I am sorry.
188
00:08:31,378 --> 00:08:32,544
I love meat.
189
00:08:32,546 --> 00:08:34,713
I love it so freakin' hard.
190
00:08:36,215 --> 00:08:38,116
It's not that you ate the meat.
191
00:08:39,385 --> 00:08:41,119
It's that you lied.
192
00:08:41,121 --> 00:08:44,556
You're right. I'm really sorry.
193
00:08:44,558 --> 00:08:48,226
I receive that.
194
00:08:49,563 --> 00:08:51,530
Okay.
195
00:08:51,532 --> 00:08:53,798
From now on,
let's just be
196
00:08:53,800 --> 00:08:55,867
completely honest
with each other.
197
00:08:55,869 --> 00:08:57,202
Absolutely.
198
00:08:57,204 --> 00:08:58,570
Oh, it's our first fight.
199
00:08:58,572 --> 00:09:00,238
I know. It was touch and go
there for a while,
200
00:09:00,240 --> 00:09:02,974
but we made it
through, baby.
201
00:09:05,044 --> 00:09:06,077
Bobby.
202
00:09:06,079 --> 00:09:09,581
Bobby, come here.
What's up?
203
00:09:09,583 --> 00:09:12,751
I have entered a new phase.
204
00:09:12,753 --> 00:09:13,818
What is it?
205
00:09:13,820 --> 00:09:16,021
The Super Horny...
206
00:09:16,023 --> 00:09:18,823
"I Want You to Do Me
Right Now" phase.
207
00:09:18,825 --> 00:09:20,825
That is new.
208
00:09:20,827 --> 00:09:22,093
I like it.
209
00:09:22,095 --> 00:09:24,429
So, get rid of everyone,
210
00:09:24,431 --> 00:09:26,431
meet me upstairs,
I'll get started?
211
00:09:26,433 --> 00:09:27,933
Yeah, but how you gonna
get started with...
212
00:09:27,935 --> 00:09:29,067
Oh...
213
00:09:29,069 --> 00:09:30,735
Yes.
214
00:09:30,737 --> 00:09:32,170
Okay.
215
00:09:32,172 --> 00:09:33,572
Everyone get the hell out.
216
00:09:33,574 --> 00:09:35,240
Now.
217
00:09:35,242 --> 00:09:37,809
Let's go.
218
00:09:41,414 --> 00:09:44,282
Okay, a woman decides
if she wants to sleep with you
219
00:09:44,284 --> 00:09:45,784
in the first five seconds.
220
00:09:45,786 --> 00:09:47,619
Whatever you say in that first
moment clinches the deal.
221
00:09:47,621 --> 00:09:49,354
I'll lead, you follow.
222
00:09:49,356 --> 00:09:50,789
See her?
223
00:09:50,791 --> 00:09:52,857
Catch her beer.
224
00:09:54,093 --> 00:09:55,594
Oh, my gosh.
225
00:09:55,596 --> 00:09:57,596
Thanks.
226
00:09:57,598 --> 00:09:58,630
Thank you.
227
00:09:58,632 --> 00:09:59,631
For what?
228
00:09:59,633 --> 00:10:02,934
For...
229
00:10:02,936 --> 00:10:06,204
uh, being alone in a bar.
230
00:10:07,873 --> 00:10:10,175
Have you ever been married?
I've been married.
231
00:10:11,210 --> 00:10:13,979
Um, I'm gonna go find
my friends.
232
00:10:13,981 --> 00:10:15,280
I thought you were alone.
233
00:10:15,282 --> 00:10:16,648
I am.
234
00:10:18,818 --> 00:10:23,054
Wow. That was like watching
a gazelle eat a lion.
235
00:10:23,056 --> 00:10:24,789
Don't blame me, okay?
You freaked me out
236
00:10:24,791 --> 00:10:26,658
with the whole first
five seconds thing.
237
00:10:26,660 --> 00:10:28,493
Okay, okay, I'll start
the conversation this time.
238
00:10:28,495 --> 00:10:30,462
Let's try again with Fake Boobs
239
00:10:30,464 --> 00:10:32,464
over here, okay?
Hopefully,
240
00:10:32,466 --> 00:10:35,166
her low self-esteem
will cloud her judgment.
241
00:10:36,135 --> 00:10:37,836
Hey, love your shoes.
242
00:10:37,838 --> 00:10:39,070
Oh, thanks!
243
00:10:39,072 --> 00:10:40,405
This is my friend, Will.
244
00:10:40,407 --> 00:10:41,840
He's a doctor.
245
00:10:41,842 --> 00:10:43,675
Really? That's cool.
246
00:10:43,677 --> 00:10:45,477
It is cool.
247
00:10:46,746 --> 00:10:49,914
Uh, this one time in med school,
my, uh, my buddies and I--
248
00:10:49,916 --> 00:10:51,516
we took a liver from a cadaver,
249
00:10:51,518 --> 00:10:53,618
and we... and we threw it
off the roof.
250
00:10:53,620 --> 00:10:54,853
:
It was...
251
00:10:54,855 --> 00:10:56,855
That's disgusting.
252
00:10:58,692 --> 00:11:00,859
How can I be
so bad at this?
253
00:11:00,861 --> 00:11:02,861
Uh, well, you got
married young,
254
00:11:02,863 --> 00:11:04,696
you never really
dated as an adult,
255
00:11:04,698 --> 00:11:06,798
and I've seen your
high school yearbook.
256
00:11:06,800 --> 00:11:08,867
Nobody was
touching you then.
257
00:11:08,869 --> 00:11:10,769
Kate, I'm all up in my head!
258
00:11:10,771 --> 00:11:12,003
Okay, new strategy.
259
00:11:12,005 --> 00:11:13,772
You say as little
as possible,
260
00:11:13,774 --> 00:11:14,939
I'll get you laid.
261
00:11:14,941 --> 00:11:16,775
I like it.
That-that makes a lot of...
262
00:11:16,777 --> 00:11:18,777
Too much.
263
00:11:20,647 --> 00:11:23,715
Hi. I'm Kate.
264
00:11:23,717 --> 00:11:25,717
You're obviously
the hottest girl in here,
265
00:11:25,719 --> 00:11:28,219
and my friend Will
is pretty much the cutest guy,
266
00:11:28,221 --> 00:11:29,854
so I figured
I'd introduce you two.
267
00:11:29,856 --> 00:11:30,955
I'm Jess.
268
00:11:30,957 --> 00:11:33,024
Speak. Speak now.
269
00:11:33,959 --> 00:11:36,294
I am Will.
270
00:11:36,296 --> 00:11:38,396
I hail from...
271
00:11:38,398 --> 00:11:40,398
Three beers. Go.
272
00:11:41,735 --> 00:11:45,303
He's a man of few words,
but check out that ass.
273
00:11:45,305 --> 00:11:48,373
It's like those butt cheeks are
storing nuts for the winter.
274
00:11:50,410 --> 00:11:52,377
You didn't have
to sell me on him.
275
00:11:52,379 --> 00:11:54,245
I knew in the
first five seconds.
276
00:11:54,247 --> 00:11:55,480
I like you.
277
00:11:55,482 --> 00:11:56,981
You remind me of myself.
278
00:11:56,983 --> 00:11:58,917
Except you have
those amazing eyes.
279
00:11:58,919 --> 00:12:01,119
You suddenly seem
smarter to me.
280
00:12:02,755 --> 00:12:04,989
Okay, I'm going to go
to the ladies' room.
281
00:12:04,991 --> 00:12:06,991
:
Man... of... few... words.
282
00:12:08,194 --> 00:12:10,929
So...
283
00:12:10,931 --> 00:12:13,598
So...
284
00:12:13,600 --> 00:12:15,767
You're shy.
285
00:12:15,769 --> 00:12:18,837
Shy.
286
00:12:18,839 --> 00:12:20,538
That's sweet.
287
00:12:20,540 --> 00:12:23,007
And your friend's great,
stepping up for you like that.
288
00:12:23,943 --> 00:12:26,277
Friend.
289
00:12:26,279 --> 00:12:29,447
This might be the
tequila talking,
290
00:12:29,449 --> 00:12:31,516
but should we just
get out of here?
291
00:12:34,787 --> 00:12:37,088
Great. Get your friend.
292
00:12:37,090 --> 00:12:38,923
Uh... why?
293
00:12:38,925 --> 00:12:41,359
Because I'm into
both of you.
294
00:12:41,361 --> 00:12:42,794
Pardon?
295
00:12:42,796 --> 00:12:45,196
I want to have sex
with both of you.
296
00:12:47,934 --> 00:12:50,535
Yeah, I don't...
I don't think that's gonna...
297
00:12:55,474 --> 00:12:57,709
Okay, then, the three of us.
298
00:12:57,711 --> 00:12:59,377
Sounds good.
Sounds like a plan.
299
00:13:09,455 --> 00:13:10,989
Hi.
300
00:13:10,991 --> 00:13:12,223
Whoa. Oh, my God.
301
00:13:12,225 --> 00:13:13,825
How did you strike out again?
302
00:13:13,827 --> 00:13:15,326
I set you up perfectly.
303
00:13:15,328 --> 00:13:17,796
What, do I need to take
her clothes off for you, too?
304
00:13:17,798 --> 00:13:20,498
Uh, I didn't strike
out, actually.
305
00:13:20,500 --> 00:13:22,167
She wants me to
go home with her.
306
00:13:22,169 --> 00:13:24,502
Oh, great. Good-bye. Uncork.
307
00:13:24,504 --> 00:13:26,404
Uh, uh, no, no, not...
308
00:13:26,406 --> 00:13:28,506
not-not good-bye,
uh, because...
309
00:13:28,508 --> 00:13:30,408
because you drove me here.
310
00:13:30,410 --> 00:13:33,645
And we can't let Jess drive
because she's already had a few.
311
00:13:33,647 --> 00:13:36,748
And I'm pretty sure she
wants to have two more.
312
00:13:36,750 --> 00:13:39,150
:
Oh.
313
00:13:39,152 --> 00:13:41,586
Fine. I am such a good friend.
314
00:13:41,588 --> 00:13:43,421
It's like there's nothing
I won't do.
315
00:13:46,192 --> 00:13:48,259
That's what I'm hoping.
316
00:13:56,036 --> 00:13:58,102
Oh, my God.
317
00:13:58,104 --> 00:14:00,004
That was amazing.
318
00:14:00,006 --> 00:14:02,540
I feel like I could sleep
for 12 hours.
319
00:14:02,542 --> 00:14:04,309
What do you mean,
go to sleep?
320
00:14:04,311 --> 00:14:06,211
I want to do it again.
321
00:14:06,213 --> 00:14:09,047
But didn't you just
have a massive...?
322
00:14:09,049 --> 00:14:12,851
Yeah! Why would
I want to stop?
323
00:14:12,853 --> 00:14:14,319
Well, honey, it's just,
324
00:14:14,321 --> 00:14:17,889
it's been a couple of nights of
this marathon sex, and I, uh...
325
00:14:17,891 --> 00:14:21,292
I need a breather.
326
00:14:21,294 --> 00:14:23,361
Or an ice pack.
327
00:14:24,563 --> 00:14:27,732
You'll stop when I
tell you to stop.
328
00:14:32,538 --> 00:14:36,641
I know you're a man of
few words, but don't worry.
329
00:14:36,643 --> 00:14:39,811
Tonight, you won't be using
your mouth for talking.
330
00:14:40,913 --> 00:14:44,415
That makes me want
to raise my eyebrow like this.
331
00:14:45,918 --> 00:14:48,386
Thanks for letting me
use your bathroom.
332
00:14:48,388 --> 00:14:49,754
Stay.
333
00:14:49,756 --> 00:14:51,756
What? Why?
334
00:14:55,094 --> 00:14:58,096
Look, the truth is, on my own,
I struck out non-stop.
335
00:14:58,098 --> 00:15:00,098
Okay, clearly,
you're my good luck charm.
336
00:15:00,100 --> 00:15:01,432
My rabbit's foot.
337
00:15:01,434 --> 00:15:04,102
And I honestly think
for this to happen,
338
00:15:04,104 --> 00:15:06,504
we're gonna have
to rub your fur a little bit.
339
00:15:08,173 --> 00:15:09,941
Please?
340
00:15:09,943 --> 00:15:13,111
Well, I don't like leaving
projects unfinished.
341
00:15:13,113 --> 00:15:15,013
Great! I'm gonna
go get some wine.
342
00:15:15,015 --> 00:15:17,181
Hey.
343
00:15:17,183 --> 00:15:21,252
Hey. So, um, just so you know,
Will's a little nervous.
344
00:15:21,254 --> 00:15:22,854
So I hope you don't think
it's too forward,
345
00:15:22,856 --> 00:15:24,455
but I think
you should make the first move.
346
00:15:24,457 --> 00:15:25,924
My pleasure.
347
00:15:25,926 --> 00:15:28,026
Great. So, just
make it happen...
348
00:15:35,635 --> 00:15:38,536
Be right back.
349
00:15:38,538 --> 00:15:40,038
We have a problem.
350
00:15:40,040 --> 00:15:41,806
Turns out,
I am too good at this.
351
00:15:41,808 --> 00:15:43,975
She doesn't want you,
she wants me!
352
00:15:43,977 --> 00:15:45,810
She just kissed me!
353
00:15:45,812 --> 00:15:48,212
Yeah, about that.
354
00:15:48,214 --> 00:15:50,315
Uh, she's looking
for a two-fer.
355
00:15:50,317 --> 00:15:54,052
I don't...
356
00:15:54,054 --> 00:15:55,920
And you knew?!
That's the whole reason
357
00:15:55,922 --> 00:15:58,122
you got me
to come back here, isn't it?!
358
00:15:58,124 --> 00:16:00,825
Come on, Kate, I'm asking
you for one little favor.
359
00:16:00,827 --> 00:16:03,995
Remember the time I drove
you to the airport?
360
00:16:03,997 --> 00:16:07,131
How is this the same?
361
00:16:07,133 --> 00:16:09,133
It was rush hour.
362
00:16:11,004 --> 00:16:12,971
You can not seriously
expect me to do this.
363
00:16:12,973 --> 00:16:15,406
I'm just asking you to play
along for a little bit.
364
00:16:15,408 --> 00:16:18,343
A little ear nibbling, a little
under-the-shirt, over-the-bra.
365
00:16:18,345 --> 00:16:20,078
PG-13.
366
00:16:21,413 --> 00:16:23,314
And then, you go to the
bathroom or whatever,
367
00:16:23,316 --> 00:16:25,683
and then, 20 minutes, I'm done,
dressed and ready to go.
368
00:16:25,685 --> 00:16:28,519
What a lucky girl.
369
00:16:28,521 --> 00:16:31,089
Forget it.
370
00:16:31,091 --> 00:16:33,424
I've only ever
slept with Val!
371
00:16:34,760 --> 00:16:36,527
What?!
372
00:16:36,529 --> 00:16:40,598
I've only slept with one
person my entire life, okay?
373
00:16:40,600 --> 00:16:45,003
How is that even possible?
374
00:16:45,005 --> 00:16:47,005
We met when I was 19.
375
00:16:47,007 --> 00:16:49,841
Got engaged at 21, and got
divorced four months ago.
376
00:16:49,843 --> 00:16:52,710
Oh, my God, yes, this is all
starting to make sense.
377
00:16:52,712 --> 00:16:54,212
The-the lack of game,
378
00:16:54,214 --> 00:16:57,548
the pathetic blend
of awkwardness and urgency.
379
00:16:57,550 --> 00:17:00,084
You're an almost-virgin.
380
00:17:02,054 --> 00:17:04,055
I am.
381
00:17:04,057 --> 00:17:05,390
Okay, I am that.
382
00:17:05,392 --> 00:17:09,527
So, please, help Little Will
make a second friend.
383
00:17:12,898 --> 00:17:15,700
Fine. I'll do it.
384
00:17:15,702 --> 00:17:17,402
You will?!
I can't believe
385
00:17:17,404 --> 00:17:18,669
I'm saying this, but yes.
386
00:17:18,671 --> 00:17:20,071
It's an important step for you.
387
00:17:20,073 --> 00:17:22,740
And, you know, it can't be
any worse than that time
388
00:17:22,742 --> 00:17:24,909
I accidentally had sex
with my cousin.
389
00:17:24,911 --> 00:17:27,311
Awesome! That's the
attitude I'm looking for!
390
00:17:27,313 --> 00:17:29,047
But my clothes stay on.
391
00:17:29,049 --> 00:17:31,649
Also, I'm upstairs,
you're downstairs,
392
00:17:31,651 --> 00:17:34,085
and never the twain shall meet.
393
00:17:34,087 --> 00:17:36,721
She's not gonna be
focusing on you anyway.
394
00:17:36,723 --> 00:17:38,222
What? Why?
395
00:17:38,224 --> 00:17:39,390
'Cause, obviously,
396
00:17:39,392 --> 00:17:40,725
you're the appetizer,
I'm the entree.
397
00:17:40,727 --> 00:17:42,860
:
Okay.
398
00:17:42,862 --> 00:17:44,862
The appetizer.
399
00:17:44,864 --> 00:17:47,265
Oh...
400
00:17:47,267 --> 00:17:50,601
Oh, my God,
I'm having a real orgasm.
401
00:17:50,603 --> 00:17:53,104
Wow!
402
00:17:53,106 --> 00:17:55,606
Good night.
403
00:17:55,608 --> 00:17:57,942
You just faked an orgasm.
404
00:17:58,944 --> 00:18:00,945
What?
Yeah.
405
00:18:00,947 --> 00:18:03,247
Those are the sounds
of my passion.
406
00:18:03,249 --> 00:18:06,350
And I am hurt and offended
that you would mock them.
407
00:18:06,352 --> 00:18:08,086
I've been with
you for ten years.
408
00:18:08,088 --> 00:18:10,054
I've never once heard
you make that noise.
409
00:18:10,056 --> 00:18:12,290
What kind of a man
fakes an orgasm?
410
00:18:12,292 --> 00:18:14,592
A man who's tired.
411
00:18:16,028 --> 00:18:18,129
Who's been wrung dry.
412
00:18:19,264 --> 00:18:21,365
I just can't do it anymore.
413
00:18:21,367 --> 00:18:23,935
Oh. It's okay, I get it.
414
00:18:23,937 --> 00:18:28,372
I'm not, you know, that
appealing in my current state.
415
00:18:28,374 --> 00:18:30,141
What are you talking about?
416
00:18:30,143 --> 00:18:32,477
I understand why you wouldn't
want to have sex with me.
417
00:18:32,479 --> 00:18:34,545
I'm like a big,
giant pregnant woman.
418
00:18:34,547 --> 00:18:37,048
One of my boobs is
bigger than your head.
419
00:18:37,050 --> 00:18:39,951
Honey, you are
absolutely gorgeous.
420
00:18:39,953 --> 00:18:41,586
No, I'm not. I'm huge.
421
00:18:41,588 --> 00:18:44,288
I look like a sea lion
with lipstick.
422
00:18:45,224 --> 00:18:48,326
Andi, every time
you smile at me,
423
00:18:48,328 --> 00:18:51,462
I have to pinch myself
that you chose me.
424
00:18:51,464 --> 00:18:54,332
Really?
Yes.
425
00:18:54,334 --> 00:18:57,401
I just can't have sex
a million times in three days.
426
00:18:57,403 --> 00:19:00,271
I literally
have nothing left.
427
00:19:00,273 --> 00:19:04,208
I tried to cry in the middle,
and no tears came out.
428
00:19:06,245 --> 00:19:10,581
Do you want to maybe-- I don't
know-- cuddle or something?
429
00:19:10,583 --> 00:19:12,483
Nothing would make me happier.
430
00:19:12,485 --> 00:19:14,585
:
Okay.
431
00:19:22,162 --> 00:19:25,029
You know what? I'm gonna
go sit on the dryer.
432
00:19:30,769 --> 00:19:32,770
Excuse me.
433
00:19:32,772 --> 00:19:34,605
Excuse me.
434
00:19:35,541 --> 00:19:37,108
Can I ask you
a question?
435
00:19:37,110 --> 00:19:40,711
Which one of us were you
attracted to initially?
436
00:19:40,713 --> 00:19:43,447
Like, if we
were a meal,
437
00:19:43,449 --> 00:19:46,284
which one of us
would you eat first?
438
00:19:47,286 --> 00:19:49,487
I don't know.
439
00:19:49,489 --> 00:19:53,357
There is something about
the sensual softness of a woman.
440
00:19:53,359 --> 00:19:55,393
Oh. Okay.
441
00:19:55,395 --> 00:19:57,461
:
Ha, ha.
442
00:20:00,899 --> 00:20:02,900
Excuse me? Excuse me?
443
00:20:02,902 --> 00:20:05,036
Yeah, uh, softness
is-is one thing,
444
00:20:05,038 --> 00:20:06,704
but-but feel
these abs, huh?
445
00:20:06,706 --> 00:20:09,073
How'd you like
to crack open this six pack?
446
00:20:09,075 --> 00:20:11,576
I have great boobs.
447
00:20:11,578 --> 00:20:13,711
I have an ass
of steel.
I'm bendy.
448
00:20:13,713 --> 00:20:15,413
I will do some seriously
messed-up stuff.
449
00:20:15,415 --> 00:20:16,981
I have no
self-respect.
450
00:20:16,983 --> 00:20:19,750
I have the penis. Touchdown!
451
00:20:19,752 --> 00:20:21,752
Wow.
452
00:20:21,754 --> 00:20:25,323
The sexual tension
between you guys is amazing.
453
00:20:25,325 --> 00:20:27,959
I'd really like
to see you two kiss.
454
00:20:30,829 --> 00:20:32,797
Yeah, we're out.
That just ruined it.
455
00:20:39,938 --> 00:20:41,739
Okay.
456
00:20:41,741 --> 00:20:43,774
I've had 24 hours.
457
00:20:43,776 --> 00:20:46,277
I'm replenished, refreshed
and ready to go.
458
00:20:46,279 --> 00:20:48,212
I don't think
that's gonna happen.
459
00:20:48,214 --> 00:20:50,615
I've, uh... I've
entered a new...
460
00:20:53,086 --> 00:20:55,286
...phase.
461
00:20:55,288 --> 00:20:57,421
But the fact that
you still want me--
462
00:20:57,423 --> 00:21:00,024
it makes me feel very
good about myself.
463
00:21:01,860 --> 00:21:03,427
I love you.
464
00:21:03,429 --> 00:21:05,029
I'm gonna fart.
465
00:21:05,031 --> 00:21:07,465
Okay.
466
00:21:07,699 --> 00:21:11,269
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