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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:06,896 --> 00:00:08,206 Hey, what are you doing tonight? 2 00:00:08,310 --> 00:00:10,068 It's a weeknight, so nothing. 3 00:00:10,172 --> 00:00:12,344 Cool. Well, my college buddy Todd is in town, 4 00:00:12,448 --> 00:00:14,517 and you should come hang out with us. 5 00:00:14,620 --> 00:00:15,724 You don't understand. 6 00:00:15,827 --> 00:00:17,137 Nothing is what I'm doing. 7 00:00:17,241 --> 00:00:18,586 I literally have "nothing" in my calendar 8 00:00:18,689 --> 00:00:20,068 every night this week, and it's the only thing 9 00:00:20,172 --> 00:00:21,517 getting me through the day. 10 00:00:21,620 --> 00:00:23,965 Now drive me home to my cat daughter. 11 00:00:24,068 --> 00:00:27,275 ♪♪ 12 00:00:27,379 --> 00:00:30,103 Jake, I'm going to tell you something, 13 00:00:30,206 --> 00:00:32,379 and I don't want you to freak out. 14 00:00:32,482 --> 00:00:33,862 I'm driving us to the bar. 15 00:00:33,965 --> 00:00:34,896 Matt, no. 16 00:00:35,000 --> 00:00:36,172 It's for your own good. 17 00:00:36,275 --> 00:00:38,000 You need to have more fun with your life. 18 00:00:38,103 --> 00:00:39,758 Nothing you can say will stop me. 19 00:00:39,862 --> 00:00:41,275 Also, earlier I stole your phone, 20 00:00:41,379 --> 00:00:42,517 and I hid it, and I'm not giving it 21 00:00:42,620 --> 00:00:44,068 back to you until the end of the night. 22 00:00:44,172 --> 00:00:45,724 Matt, we agreed to carpool, 23 00:00:45,827 --> 00:00:46,965 which is a sacred contract 24 00:00:47,068 --> 00:00:49,000 upheld by the American legal system. 25 00:00:49,103 --> 00:00:50,344 We're almost at my street. 26 00:00:50,448 --> 00:00:51,965 If you don't turn right, this is kidnapping, 27 00:00:52,068 --> 00:00:53,275 and you're going to jail. 28 00:00:53,379 --> 00:00:56,000 ♪ We don't know, we don't care 29 00:00:56,103 --> 00:00:59,103 Okay. You want to play games? I'll play games. 30 00:00:59,206 --> 00:01:01,241 You've vastly overestimated my will to live. 31 00:01:01,344 --> 00:01:03,517 I'll grab that wheel and kill us both -- easy. 32 00:01:03,620 --> 00:01:05,137 The cops are gonna find our cold, dead bodies 33 00:01:05,241 --> 00:01:06,517 in a ditch somewhere, Matt. 34 00:01:06,620 --> 00:01:07,965 Think about how sad your parents will be. 35 00:01:08,068 --> 00:01:09,310 Matt, turn right! 36 00:01:09,413 --> 00:01:11,137 Matt, turn right right now! 37 00:01:11,241 --> 00:01:13,068 Matt, turn right, turn right! 38 00:01:13,172 --> 00:01:16,689 Matt, Matt, Matt, Matt, Matt, Matt! 39 00:01:17,758 --> 00:01:18,931 [ Sighs ] 40 00:01:19,034 --> 00:01:20,793 Goddamn it, you used to fear me more. 41 00:01:20,896 --> 00:01:30,620 ♪♪ 42 00:01:30,724 --> 00:01:40,241 ♪♪ 43 00:01:40,344 --> 00:01:41,413 [ Indistinct conversations ] 44 00:01:41,517 --> 00:01:43,310 This is so Todd, to be late. 45 00:01:43,413 --> 00:01:45,172 I've ended lifelong friendships over people 46 00:01:45,275 --> 00:01:46,586 being five minutes late -- 47 00:01:46,689 --> 00:01:49,000 people I love, blood relatives I've abandoned 48 00:01:49,103 --> 00:01:50,310 and never spoken to again. 49 00:01:50,413 --> 00:01:51,896 40 minutes late without a text. 50 00:01:52,000 --> 00:01:53,068 Kill this person. 51 00:01:53,172 --> 00:01:55,413 Dude, you are going to love Todd. 52 00:01:55,517 --> 00:01:57,862 [ Sighs ]We used to do so much crazy shit together in college. 53 00:01:57,965 --> 00:02:01,206 We'd get drunk and throw things out our dorm window -- 54 00:02:01,310 --> 00:02:03,793 water balloons, textbooks, 55 00:02:03,896 --> 00:02:05,137 stuff we really needed. 56 00:02:05,241 --> 00:02:06,689 One time Todd got drunk and almost threw 57 00:02:06,793 --> 00:02:08,965 a cat out the window, but I was like, "Todd, don't," 58 00:02:09,068 --> 00:02:12,137 but he almost did and it was so funny. 59 00:02:12,241 --> 00:02:13,862 Boy, we really needed all that stuff, though. 60 00:02:13,965 --> 00:02:15,620 You should never meet people from your friend's past. 61 00:02:15,724 --> 00:02:18,137 They're like a time capsule of bad personality traits. 62 00:02:18,241 --> 00:02:19,586 Jake, you need to lighten up. 63 00:02:19,689 --> 00:02:21,034 When you get to the end of your life, 64 00:02:21,137 --> 00:02:22,206 you're gonna look back 65 00:02:22,310 --> 00:02:24,034 and wish that you had more fun. 66 00:02:24,137 --> 00:02:25,137 At the end of my life, I'll be dead. 67 00:02:25,241 --> 00:02:26,344 [ Women cheering ] 68 00:02:26,448 --> 00:02:28,172 Look. They're having a good time. 69 00:02:28,275 --> 00:02:29,413 They're young and dumb, 70 00:02:29,517 --> 00:02:30,965 so they still think this is what fun is. 71 00:02:31,068 --> 00:02:33,310 They have no idea they're actually having a terrible time. 72 00:02:33,413 --> 00:02:34,413 It's honestly tragic. 73 00:02:34,517 --> 00:02:35,793 Now give me back my phone. 74 00:02:35,896 --> 00:02:37,724 It's not on me, and you'll never find it. 75 00:02:37,827 --> 00:02:41,206 Fatty Matty, my good dude! 76 00:02:41,310 --> 00:02:42,931 Tee-Oh-Double-Dee! 77 00:02:43,034 --> 00:02:44,206 [ Both laughing ] 78 00:02:44,310 --> 00:02:45,896 How the hell are you, man? 79 00:02:46,000 --> 00:02:49,103 Dude, crazy night so far. 80 00:02:49,206 --> 00:02:50,448 Who's the suit? -Okay. 81 00:02:50,551 --> 00:02:52,517 Who is this Hertz Rent a Car associate? 82 00:02:52,620 --> 00:02:53,931 -[ Laughs ] -What is it, 83 00:02:54,034 --> 00:02:55,137 "Take your boss to the bar night" 84 00:02:55,241 --> 00:02:56,206 or something? 85 00:02:56,310 --> 00:02:57,310 Yeah, I am his boss. 86 00:02:57,413 --> 00:02:58,586 And you just got him fired. 87 00:02:58,689 --> 00:02:59,689 Ooh! 88 00:02:59,793 --> 00:03:01,000 [ Laughs ] All right. 89 00:03:01,103 --> 00:03:03,482 Jake, this is Todd. Todd, Jake. 90 00:03:03,586 --> 00:03:06,793 You're both my dudes, and now you're each other's dudes. 91 00:03:06,896 --> 00:03:08,103 Oh! 92 00:03:08,206 --> 00:03:11,896 Pleased to meet you, Mr. Handshake Sir. 93 00:03:12,000 --> 00:03:14,724 I hope your finances are business. 94 00:03:14,827 --> 00:03:16,517 I'm only playing with you, dude. 95 00:03:16,620 --> 00:03:18,310 Any friend of the fat one is a brother of mine. 96 00:03:18,413 --> 00:03:21,586 All right. I'm gonna go get us some shots. 97 00:03:21,689 --> 00:03:23,344 Uh, Matt, you cool if I put it on your tab? 98 00:03:23,448 --> 00:03:25,344 I stopped using credit cards 'cause of banks. 99 00:03:25,448 --> 00:03:26,827 Yeah, yeah, no problem. 100 00:03:26,931 --> 00:03:28,620 Cool. 101 00:03:28,724 --> 00:03:31,862 Guys, let's drink to this moment right now. 102 00:03:31,965 --> 00:03:33,206 The past -- fuck that. 103 00:03:33,310 --> 00:03:35,931 The future, mm, okay, maybe. 104 00:03:36,034 --> 00:03:37,689 But right now? 105 00:03:37,793 --> 00:03:38,827 Yes, please. 106 00:03:38,931 --> 00:03:40,862 -Amen. -Cheers. 107 00:03:43,310 --> 00:03:44,689 [ Groaning ] 108 00:03:44,793 --> 00:03:46,068 Ouch! 109 00:03:46,172 --> 00:03:47,482 Aw, man, super wet table. 110 00:03:47,586 --> 00:03:49,931 Dude. So, bro, how's it been going, man? 111 00:03:50,034 --> 00:03:51,000 It's been forever. 112 00:03:51,103 --> 00:03:55,965 Dudes, I have been traveling. 113 00:03:56,068 --> 00:03:58,310 Went to Paris -- Did so much molly. 114 00:03:58,413 --> 00:04:00,448 Cut to me on a fjord in Norway 115 00:04:00,551 --> 00:04:02,689 stoned out of my mind -- I don't know much, 116 00:04:02,793 --> 00:04:04,482 but I do know that I'm on molly. 117 00:04:04,586 --> 00:04:06,620 Spent Friendsgiving in Zermatt 118 00:04:06,724 --> 00:04:09,517 with Beck microdosing on an alpine slide -- 119 00:04:09,620 --> 00:04:12,172 I go to Guadalajara -- I did everything but 120 00:04:12,275 --> 00:04:14,275 with an heiress to the guacamole fortune. 121 00:04:14,379 --> 00:04:16,344 You haven't experienced the 'mids -- 122 00:04:16,448 --> 00:04:18,413 And when I say "the 'mids," I mean the pyramids -- 123 00:04:18,517 --> 00:04:20,241 until you've seen them on Adderall. 124 00:04:20,344 --> 00:04:22,413 If you mix peyote and mimosas, 125 00:04:22,517 --> 00:04:25,448 it gives you sonar -- like a bat or a dolphin. 126 00:04:25,551 --> 00:04:30,137 Then I did ayahuasca in SoCal and vommed on my sham. 127 00:04:30,241 --> 00:04:31,344 [ Groans ] 128 00:04:31,448 --> 00:04:32,931 She was pissed, but we're cool. 129 00:04:33,034 --> 00:04:35,586 By the way, Fatty, if you are ever looking for a shaman, 130 00:04:35,689 --> 00:04:36,793 I could totally hook you up. 131 00:04:36,896 --> 00:04:38,206 Oh, yeah, I'd love to get her info. 132 00:04:38,310 --> 00:04:40,000 What are you up to, fat one? 133 00:04:40,103 --> 00:04:42,379 Last time I saw you, you were housing a whole pizza 134 00:04:42,482 --> 00:04:43,827 and now you're working some corporate gig? 135 00:04:43,931 --> 00:04:47,137 Yeah. It sucks, but it's actually pretty cool. 136 00:04:47,241 --> 00:04:49,724 Uh, my bosses are super chill, and they let me do whatever. 137 00:04:49,827 --> 00:04:51,206 Also, if I stay there long enough, 138 00:04:51,310 --> 00:04:52,551 I'll rise up in the company, 139 00:04:52,655 --> 00:04:54,000 be able to take it down from the inside. 140 00:04:54,103 --> 00:04:55,172 Yeah, Matt's right on the verge 141 00:04:55,275 --> 00:04:56,551 of becoming a domestic terrorist. 142 00:04:56,655 --> 00:04:58,724 By the way, Todd, how do you make money? 143 00:04:58,827 --> 00:05:00,586 I'm actually king of in between gigs right now. 144 00:05:00,689 --> 00:05:03,137 My last boss fired me because he totally had it out for me 145 00:05:03,241 --> 00:05:05,413 because his wife was, like, in love with me, which -- 146 00:05:05,517 --> 00:05:06,689 not my fault, you know? 147 00:05:06,793 --> 00:05:08,310 She was hot, though. We fucked. 148 00:05:08,413 --> 00:05:10,275 I mean, we didn't, but we did. You know what I'm talking about. 149 00:05:10,379 --> 00:05:12,000 -Yeah. -Hey! 150 00:05:12,103 --> 00:05:14,724 How's your night going? 151 00:05:14,827 --> 00:05:16,931 Oh, my God. 152 00:05:17,034 --> 00:05:21,310 There are a bunch of goddesses roaming around here tonight. 153 00:05:21,413 --> 00:05:22,655 -[ Chuckles ] -Ah! 154 00:05:22,758 --> 00:05:24,448 You should go talk to her. 155 00:05:24,551 --> 00:05:25,448 I'm a coyote. 156 00:05:25,551 --> 00:05:26,655 [ Hand smacks ] 157 00:05:26,758 --> 00:05:27,862 [ Laughs ] 158 00:05:27,965 --> 00:05:29,896 I hate him so much.You're just jealous 159 00:05:30,000 --> 00:05:31,551 'cause he's still having fun with his life. 160 00:05:31,655 --> 00:05:32,827 You could learn a lot from Todd. 161 00:05:32,931 --> 00:05:34,344 Todd is a drifter and a drug dealer. 162 00:05:34,448 --> 00:05:35,551 No, he's not. 163 00:05:35,655 --> 00:05:37,448 He's dealing someone drugs right now. 164 00:05:39,344 --> 00:05:40,379 Okay, narc. 165 00:05:40,482 --> 00:05:42,000 Your entire personality has reverted 166 00:05:42,103 --> 00:05:43,000 back to being in college. 167 00:05:43,103 --> 00:05:44,310 How is that a bad thing? 168 00:05:44,413 --> 00:05:46,241 College are the best years of your life. 169 00:05:46,344 --> 00:05:47,793 -Smoke? -Hell yeah. 170 00:05:47,896 --> 00:05:49,448 Jesus, Matt. 171 00:05:50,689 --> 00:05:52,689 We should collaborate on something. 172 00:05:52,793 --> 00:05:54,241 Dude, I would love to collab. 173 00:05:54,344 --> 00:05:55,241 What are you thinking? 174 00:05:55,344 --> 00:05:57,275 Mm, art? Maybe an app? 175 00:05:57,379 --> 00:05:59,517 Oh, dude -- art app! 176 00:05:59,620 --> 00:06:02,275 Oh! Dude, I've always wanted to start my own record label. 177 00:06:02,379 --> 00:06:03,310 Oh, yeah? 178 00:06:03,413 --> 00:06:06,379 Dude. Check it out. 179 00:06:06,482 --> 00:06:09,000 Parking ticket. 180 00:06:09,103 --> 00:06:10,965 Do you remember what we used to do?[ Laughing ] Yeah. 181 00:06:11,068 --> 00:06:12,931 Do you remember what we used to fucking do? 182 00:06:13,034 --> 00:06:15,586 Mr. Handshake Man, check this shit out -- 183 00:06:15,689 --> 00:06:17,758 the old switcheroo. 184 00:06:20,103 --> 00:06:21,448 Fuck the system! 185 00:06:21,551 --> 00:06:22,724 [ Normal voice ] Fuck the system! 186 00:06:22,827 --> 00:06:23,827 [ Laughs ] 187 00:06:23,931 --> 00:06:25,965 I'll bet his dad is a district attorney. 188 00:06:26,068 --> 00:06:27,103 Whoa. How'd you know that? 189 00:06:27,206 --> 00:06:28,862 My name is Todd! 190 00:06:28,965 --> 00:06:31,896 Todd! You maniac. 191 00:06:32,000 --> 00:06:37,896 ♪ I could tell the minute that I saw him ♪ 192 00:06:38,000 --> 00:06:44,655 ♪ He was nothing but the troublemakin' kind ♪ 193 00:06:44,758 --> 00:06:47,793 ♪ His hair was much too long 194 00:06:47,896 --> 00:06:51,103 ♪ And his motley group of friends ♪ 195 00:06:51,206 --> 00:06:56,896 ♪ Had nothing but rebellion on their minds ♪ 196 00:06:57,000 --> 00:06:58,448 [ Gunshot ] 197 00:06:58,551 --> 00:07:04,620 ♪ He's rejected the establishment completely ♪ 198 00:07:04,724 --> 00:07:10,965 ♪ And I know for sure he's never had a job ♪ 199 00:07:11,068 --> 00:07:15,413 ♪ He just goes from place to place ♪ 200 00:07:15,517 --> 00:07:17,758 ♪ Stirring up the young folk 201 00:07:17,862 --> 00:07:23,620 ♪ Till they're nothing but a disrespectful mob ♪ 202 00:07:24,551 --> 00:07:25,931 Oh, dude. [ Clears throat ] 203 00:07:26,034 --> 00:07:27,689 I'm in town for one more night tomorrow night 204 00:07:27,793 --> 00:07:30,034 to see this really sick band, Honeyscratch. 205 00:07:30,137 --> 00:07:31,965 I'm sort of like really good friends of the band. 206 00:07:32,068 --> 00:07:33,310 I could totally get you in for free 207 00:07:33,413 --> 00:07:34,551 if you pay me for the ticket. 208 00:07:34,655 --> 00:07:36,655 Cool. Yeah, I would love to. 209 00:07:36,758 --> 00:07:38,724 Mr. Handshake Man, you in? 210 00:07:38,827 --> 00:07:40,517 No, you're never gonna see me again. 211 00:07:40,620 --> 00:07:42,310 Todd: [ Laughs ] 212 00:07:42,413 --> 00:07:43,862 I love this guy! Hilarious. 213 00:07:43,965 --> 00:07:45,206 All right. I'll see you tomorrow night, 214 00:07:45,310 --> 00:07:46,482 Fat Matthew, okay? 215 00:07:46,586 --> 00:07:48,551 Peace money. 216 00:07:50,689 --> 00:07:52,724 [ Groans ] I might be too drunk to drive. 217 00:07:52,827 --> 00:07:54,689 Really? That's crazy, because you've only been drinking 218 00:07:54,793 --> 00:07:56,551 for four straight hours. 219 00:07:58,413 --> 00:08:01,482 [ Distorted white noise ] 220 00:08:05,034 --> 00:08:07,586 [ Loud crunching ] 221 00:08:13,206 --> 00:08:15,586 [ Explosions ] 222 00:08:17,413 --> 00:08:19,586 [ Crashing, glass shattering ] 223 00:08:19,689 --> 00:08:22,206 [ Thunder crashes, rumbles ] 224 00:08:24,551 --> 00:08:29,551 [ Discordant white noise, indistinct growling ] 225 00:08:34,000 --> 00:08:36,482 What?I said, "There's no way 226 00:08:36,586 --> 00:08:38,344 you're going to that concert tonight." 227 00:08:38,448 --> 00:08:39,551 I'm definitely going. 228 00:08:39,655 --> 00:08:40,862 I just need to drink plenty of fluids, 229 00:08:40,965 --> 00:08:43,241 caffeinate, and wait out this headache. 230 00:08:43,344 --> 00:08:45,620 I used to do this all the time when I was hungover in college. 231 00:08:45,724 --> 00:08:47,172 Those days are long gone. 232 00:08:47,275 --> 00:08:50,896 Once you turn 30, hangovers last an average of 83 hours. 233 00:08:51,000 --> 00:08:52,103 [ Winces ] 234 00:08:52,206 --> 00:08:55,379 [ Keyboard clacking ] 235 00:08:55,482 --> 00:08:56,758 [ Music plays loudly ] 236 00:08:56,862 --> 00:08:58,758 [ Loudly ] Dude, what is this shit? 237 00:08:58,862 --> 00:09:00,310 [ Loudly ] It's Honeyscratch, 238 00:09:00,413 --> 00:09:02,137 the band you're seeing tonight. 239 00:09:02,241 --> 00:09:04,655 But I can turn it off if you don't like it. 240 00:09:04,758 --> 00:09:06,310 Oh. No, no, no, no. 241 00:09:06,413 --> 00:09:07,275 I-I'm starting to get into it. 242 00:09:07,379 --> 00:09:09,620 Yeah. Yeah. 243 00:09:09,724 --> 00:09:11,758 [ Laughing ] Okay. 244 00:09:11,862 --> 00:09:13,965 [ Normal voice ] It's definitely cool -- 245 00:09:14,068 --> 00:09:15,827 sonically rich. 246 00:09:15,931 --> 00:09:17,827 Now I get what Pitchfork was saying 247 00:09:17,931 --> 00:09:19,517 when they said that about them. 248 00:09:19,620 --> 00:09:21,689 [ Music continues ] 249 00:09:21,793 --> 00:09:23,931 Oh. Here's the hook. 250 00:09:25,793 --> 00:09:27,206 Wait a minute, hold on. 251 00:09:27,310 --> 00:09:28,344 Is that the hook? No, no, no. 252 00:09:28,448 --> 00:09:29,586 H-Hold on. 253 00:09:29,689 --> 00:09:31,482 Here we go. Here's the hook. 254 00:09:31,586 --> 00:09:33,517 You can just admit it sucks. 255 00:09:33,620 --> 00:09:35,206 I would admit it sucked if it sucked, 256 00:09:35,310 --> 00:09:36,586 but it doesn't. 257 00:09:36,689 --> 00:09:38,827 They're probably just better live anyway. 258 00:09:38,931 --> 00:09:41,000 Yeah. 259 00:09:41,103 --> 00:09:42,655 I love live music. 260 00:09:42,758 --> 00:09:44,482 I'm gonna start going to more shows -- 261 00:09:44,586 --> 00:09:46,862 one concert a month. 262 00:09:46,965 --> 00:09:48,275 No. 263 00:09:48,379 --> 00:09:50,827 One concert a week, 264 00:09:50,931 --> 00:09:51,965 maybe even -- 265 00:09:53,896 --> 00:09:55,758 That sounds tight, dude. 266 00:09:55,862 --> 00:09:58,517 Hey, Grace, have you heard of Honeyscratch? 267 00:09:58,620 --> 00:10:00,724 Is that an STI? If so, yes. 268 00:10:00,827 --> 00:10:03,379 No, no, no. They're this really good noise rock band 269 00:10:03,482 --> 00:10:04,379 that I'm gonna see tonight. 270 00:10:04,482 --> 00:10:05,689 Matt got wasted last night 271 00:10:05,793 --> 00:10:07,344 and thinks he's still going out tonight. 272 00:10:07,448 --> 00:10:08,862 [ Laughs ] 273 00:10:08,965 --> 00:10:11,482 Oh, Matt, you naive little bitch. 274 00:10:11,586 --> 00:10:13,448 Concerts being fun is one of the greatest lies 275 00:10:13,551 --> 00:10:15,068 perpetuated by American media. 276 00:10:15,172 --> 00:10:16,310 You guys are nuts. 277 00:10:16,413 --> 00:10:17,689 We're still young. 278 00:10:17,793 --> 00:10:19,551 We should be out doing things. 279 00:10:19,655 --> 00:10:21,896 Tell that to the moths in my underwear. 280 00:10:22,000 --> 00:10:24,103 All right, what are your big plans tonight 281 00:10:24,206 --> 00:10:26,896 if you're not gonna go out and enjoy your life? 282 00:10:27,000 --> 00:10:28,758 I'm doing what I do every night -- 283 00:10:28,862 --> 00:10:30,344 cocooning myself in fleece, 284 00:10:30,448 --> 00:10:31,551 eating a cookie, 285 00:10:31,655 --> 00:10:32,827 and reading historical fiction. 286 00:10:32,931 --> 00:10:34,379 -I'm gonna masturbate. -[ Sighs ] 287 00:10:34,482 --> 00:10:35,482 Oh, yeah, me, too. 288 00:10:35,586 --> 00:10:37,517 You both sound depressed. 289 00:10:37,620 --> 00:10:38,862 Yeah, we're adults. 290 00:10:38,965 --> 00:10:40,689 Living life to the fullest is a con. 291 00:10:40,793 --> 00:10:42,655 It's like having a second job you waste all of the money 292 00:10:42,758 --> 00:10:43,862 from your first job on. 293 00:10:43,965 --> 00:10:45,620 Do you remember the joy you first felt 294 00:10:45,724 --> 00:10:49,793 the moment you decided to stop living life to the fullest? 295 00:10:49,896 --> 00:10:52,482 Best moment of my life. 296 00:10:52,586 --> 00:10:54,000 ♪♪ 297 00:10:54,103 --> 00:10:56,379 October 17, 2010. 298 00:10:56,482 --> 00:11:00,068 I was at some art opening, surrounded by liberal fascists. 299 00:11:00,172 --> 00:11:03,448 I had no clue what the performance art piece meant. 300 00:11:03,551 --> 00:11:06,206 All I knew was that it sucked. 301 00:11:06,310 --> 00:11:08,965 And then it hit me -- 302 00:11:09,068 --> 00:11:15,586 I could just give up, go home, be free. 303 00:11:15,689 --> 00:11:17,000 And I never looked back. 304 00:11:17,103 --> 00:11:18,551 Mm. 305 00:11:18,655 --> 00:11:22,000 August 13, 2014. 306 00:11:22,103 --> 00:11:24,896 I was dancing in a field at a music festival, 307 00:11:25,000 --> 00:11:27,586 surrounded by women dressed in various forms 308 00:11:27,689 --> 00:11:30,000 of cultural appropriation. 309 00:11:30,103 --> 00:11:32,103 I had eaten too much of a weed brownie, 310 00:11:32,206 --> 00:11:35,413 and a drunk guy started grinding on me. 311 00:11:35,517 --> 00:11:38,068 Then it hit me... 312 00:11:38,172 --> 00:11:43,862 I would much rather be at home...alone. 313 00:11:43,965 --> 00:11:47,413 [ Sighs ] Life-changing. 314 00:11:47,517 --> 00:11:48,482 You guys are lame. 315 00:11:48,586 --> 00:11:49,758 Lame but wise. 316 00:11:49,862 --> 00:11:51,103 Matt, just embrace giving up. 317 00:11:51,206 --> 00:11:52,896 You have no idea how good it feels. 318 00:11:53,000 --> 00:11:55,517 No. I am not like you guys, okay? 319 00:11:55,620 --> 00:11:58,068 I am young and full of life! 320 00:11:58,172 --> 00:11:59,965 [ Keyboard clacking ] 321 00:12:00,068 --> 00:12:05,482 ♪♪ 322 00:12:05,586 --> 00:12:06,551 No. 323 00:12:06,655 --> 00:12:07,517 [ Keyboard clacking ] 324 00:12:07,620 --> 00:12:09,689 [ Groans ] 325 00:12:09,793 --> 00:12:12,344 [ Keyboard clacking ] 326 00:12:12,448 --> 00:12:14,068 No! 327 00:12:14,172 --> 00:12:15,310 [ Sighs ] 328 00:12:17,862 --> 00:12:19,827 Oh, hey, Matt. What are you doing tonight? 329 00:12:19,931 --> 00:12:21,931 Uh, I'm going to see this band Honeyscratch. 330 00:12:22,034 --> 00:12:24,000 [ Gasps ] Dude! Me, too! 331 00:12:24,103 --> 00:12:26,000 I love them.[ Scoffs ] Oh, really? 332 00:12:26,103 --> 00:12:27,965 You know, my buddy Todd's actually really tight 333 00:12:28,068 --> 00:12:30,137 with the band so we're sort of getting VIP treatment. 334 00:12:30,241 --> 00:12:32,896 Hell yeah. I'm not gonna be there till later in the night 335 00:12:33,000 --> 00:12:34,379 because after work, I have Cardio Barre, 336 00:12:34,482 --> 00:12:36,586 then a sample sale, three art gallery openings, 337 00:12:36,689 --> 00:12:38,000 dinner at this brand-new pop-up -- 338 00:12:38,103 --> 00:12:39,896 ...a sort-of-friend's half-birthday party, 339 00:12:40,000 --> 00:12:42,172 gonna catch up with a real friend at a new speakeasy, 340 00:12:42,275 --> 00:12:44,034 then Honeyscratch. 341 00:12:44,137 --> 00:12:47,137 Whoa. How do you have the energy to do all that? 342 00:12:47,241 --> 00:12:48,655 I'm 24. [ Scoffs ] 343 00:12:48,758 --> 00:12:50,586 You got to let me know when you do stuff after work, 344 00:12:50,689 --> 00:12:52,862 'cause I also do stuff constantly. 345 00:12:52,965 --> 00:12:55,655 I honestly didn't know you, like, do stuff. 346 00:12:55,758 --> 00:12:58,172 [ Scoffs ] Yeah. I do stuff. 347 00:12:58,275 --> 00:12:59,448 Sick. 348 00:12:59,551 --> 00:13:00,793 So, when are you getting to the show? 349 00:13:00,896 --> 00:13:03,034 Not sure -- Atrocity Algebra is opening, 350 00:13:03,137 --> 00:13:05,000 but thankfully Honeyscratch is going on pretty early. 351 00:13:05,103 --> 00:13:07,517 Oh, good. What time? 352 00:13:07,620 --> 00:13:08,758 I think about 1:00 A.M. 353 00:13:08,862 --> 00:13:10,931 [ Coughs, wheezes ] 354 00:13:11,034 --> 00:13:13,103 Cool. That -- Yeah, that works for me. 355 00:13:16,000 --> 00:13:19,655 [ Inhales, exhales sharply ] 356 00:13:21,620 --> 00:13:23,172 [ Exhales sharply ] 357 00:13:26,620 --> 00:13:28,275 [ Elevator chimes ] 358 00:13:32,379 --> 00:13:34,448 Any exciting plans tonight? 359 00:13:34,551 --> 00:13:36,310 Uh, yeah, I'm going to this concert. 360 00:13:36,413 --> 00:13:38,793 Ooh, a concert. Yeah, um, 361 00:13:38,896 --> 00:13:40,586 but the band I want to see doesn't go on till 1:00 A.M., 362 00:13:40,689 --> 00:13:42,586 so I'm gonna stop at home for a bit first. 363 00:13:42,689 --> 00:13:44,482 [ Chuckles ] 364 00:13:44,586 --> 00:13:46,482 Here's my prediction -- 365 00:13:46,586 --> 00:13:48,827 you're not going to that concert. 366 00:13:48,931 --> 00:13:51,379 The moment you cross the threshold of your front door, 367 00:13:51,482 --> 00:13:52,655 you're done. 368 00:13:52,758 --> 00:13:53,965 It's happened to me more than once. 369 00:13:54,068 --> 00:13:55,758 I have some gala to get to, 370 00:13:55,862 --> 00:13:57,896 and I tell myself I'm just going to stop at home 371 00:13:58,000 --> 00:14:00,103 and take a quick shower, and then the next thing I know, 372 00:14:00,206 --> 00:14:02,551 [inhales] I am luxuriating in my robe 373 00:14:02,655 --> 00:14:03,827 and eating corn chips 374 00:14:03,931 --> 00:14:06,379 while catching up on "Society Tomorrow." 375 00:14:06,482 --> 00:14:09,000 Have you seen the new season? It's pretty good. 376 00:14:09,103 --> 00:14:10,137 I binged it. 377 00:14:10,241 --> 00:14:11,034 Oh, yeah. 378 00:14:11,137 --> 00:14:12,310 I'll have to check it out. 379 00:14:12,413 --> 00:14:13,413 [ Elevator chimes ] 380 00:14:13,517 --> 00:14:16,172 I bet you will... 381 00:14:16,275 --> 00:14:17,620 tonight -- 382 00:14:17,724 --> 00:14:20,000 while you're not at that concert. 383 00:14:20,103 --> 00:14:21,655 [ Chuckles ] 384 00:14:21,758 --> 00:14:25,551 ♪♪ 385 00:14:25,655 --> 00:14:27,517 [ Wind blows, dogs barking ] 386 00:14:27,620 --> 00:14:29,724 [ Siren wails in distance ] 387 00:14:31,551 --> 00:14:34,034 [ Soothing music plays ] 388 00:14:34,137 --> 00:14:36,344 [ Sighs ] 389 00:14:36,448 --> 00:14:40,241 ♪♪ 390 00:14:40,344 --> 00:14:42,206 [ Sighs ] 391 00:14:42,310 --> 00:14:49,655 ♪♪ 392 00:14:49,758 --> 00:14:53,517 [ Inhales sharply, sighs ] 393 00:14:53,620 --> 00:14:55,517 Oh, yeah. 394 00:14:55,620 --> 00:15:00,482 Oh, God damn. 395 00:15:00,586 --> 00:15:03,241 [ Moans ] 396 00:15:03,344 --> 00:15:05,517 [ Groans ] 397 00:15:05,620 --> 00:15:10,448 ♪♪ 398 00:15:10,551 --> 00:15:12,620 No! 399 00:15:12,724 --> 00:15:14,551 Whoo-hoo! 400 00:15:14,655 --> 00:15:16,344 ♪♪ 401 00:15:16,448 --> 00:15:17,689 [ Groans ] 402 00:15:17,793 --> 00:15:24,034 ♪♪ 403 00:15:24,137 --> 00:15:25,448 Hey, Mom. 404 00:15:25,551 --> 00:15:26,758 No. I was just calling to chat. 405 00:15:26,862 --> 00:15:28,241 Nothing's wrong. 406 00:15:29,551 --> 00:15:31,137 How's the garden doing? 407 00:15:31,241 --> 00:15:32,310 Vroom! 408 00:15:32,413 --> 00:15:34,310 Yes, I do care how the garden is doing, Mom. 409 00:15:34,413 --> 00:15:36,620 Pew! 410 00:15:36,724 --> 00:15:38,586 [ Cellphone beeps ] 411 00:15:38,689 --> 00:15:40,586 [ Scoffs ] 412 00:15:40,689 --> 00:15:42,793 Mom, why would you say that I'm not going to the concert, 413 00:15:42,896 --> 00:15:44,551 because I am going! 414 00:15:44,655 --> 00:15:50,241 ♪♪ 415 00:15:50,344 --> 00:15:52,793 Goddamn it! 416 00:15:57,275 --> 00:15:59,965 Announcer: Previously on "Society Tomorrow"... 417 00:16:00,068 --> 00:16:01,172 Man: The President's been hacked! 418 00:16:01,275 --> 00:16:03,000 Woman: Technology's bad! 419 00:16:03,103 --> 00:16:05,310 Our only chance for survival is to embrace the nihilists. 420 00:16:05,413 --> 00:16:06,517 But they hate to be hugged. 421 00:16:06,620 --> 00:16:07,827 I'm having an affair -- 422 00:16:07,931 --> 00:16:10,000 but nobody seems to care. 423 00:16:12,620 --> 00:16:13,758 [ Zap!] 424 00:16:13,862 --> 00:16:15,896 You shot the nihilist. He's dead! 425 00:16:16,000 --> 00:16:17,034 Man #2: I was the nihilist -- 426 00:16:17,137 --> 00:16:18,172 Matt: Oh, I can still make it. 427 00:16:18,275 --> 00:16:20,034 And now you're gonna die, 428 00:16:20,137 --> 00:16:22,724 because you represent organized religion. 429 00:16:22,827 --> 00:16:25,310 [ Rock music playing within ] 430 00:16:28,413 --> 00:16:31,482 Hey, I think I'm the list -- Matt Engelbertson? 431 00:16:33,275 --> 00:16:34,206 Nope. 432 00:16:34,310 --> 00:16:37,137 Uh, it might be under "Fatty Matty"? 433 00:16:37,241 --> 00:16:38,448 Nah. 434 00:16:38,551 --> 00:16:39,896 Uh, well, do you know Todd? 435 00:16:40,000 --> 00:16:41,137 He's friends with the band. 436 00:16:41,241 --> 00:16:43,206 We're all friends with the band. 437 00:16:43,310 --> 00:16:44,758 Oh. 438 00:16:44,862 --> 00:16:47,000 [ Laughing ] Fatty Matty! 439 00:16:47,103 --> 00:16:48,482 I got your tickets right here. 440 00:16:48,586 --> 00:16:50,206 We're going backstage. 441 00:16:50,310 --> 00:16:51,586 [ Groans ] 442 00:16:51,689 --> 00:16:53,517 Tee-Oh-Double-Dee! 443 00:16:53,620 --> 00:16:55,620 All right. Guys, guys, guys, 444 00:16:55,724 --> 00:16:57,758 this is Fatty Matty, 445 00:16:57,862 --> 00:16:59,172 my buddy from college I was telling you about. 446 00:16:59,275 --> 00:17:00,827 'Sup, Matt? Todd was telling us about 447 00:17:00,931 --> 00:17:02,586 all that fucked-up shit you guys you used to do. 448 00:17:02,689 --> 00:17:03,896 -[ Laughs ] -Sounds hilarious. 449 00:17:04,000 --> 00:17:05,551 Yeah, it was pretty crazy. 450 00:17:05,655 --> 00:17:08,241 Um, dude, I love your music -- so many hooks. 451 00:17:08,344 --> 00:17:09,551 How do you guys know Todd? 452 00:17:09,655 --> 00:17:10,724 He's our drug dealer. 453 00:17:10,827 --> 00:17:12,137 Whoopsies. 454 00:17:12,241 --> 00:17:14,137 Todd says you have some corporate sell-out job, 455 00:17:14,241 --> 00:17:16,241 but you still made it out to see us on a work night. 456 00:17:16,344 --> 00:17:18,758 We really appreciate that, man. You're cool. 457 00:17:18,862 --> 00:17:20,482 Yeah. I mean, I'm pretty tired from work, 458 00:17:20,586 --> 00:17:23,000 but supporting live music is really important to me. 459 00:17:23,103 --> 00:17:25,310 Hey, Matt, real quick, can you do me a favor? 460 00:17:25,413 --> 00:17:29,344 Could you throw Jake's cat out the window? 461 00:17:29,448 --> 00:17:30,310 [ Cat purrs ] 462 00:17:30,413 --> 00:17:31,758 Wait, what's Pebbles doing here? 463 00:17:31,862 --> 00:17:32,862 Exactly. 464 00:17:32,965 --> 00:17:35,241 She shouldn't be here. It's rude. 465 00:17:35,344 --> 00:17:37,241 So we need you to throw her out the window. 466 00:17:37,344 --> 00:17:40,137 Otherwise, we can't play our music. 467 00:17:40,241 --> 00:17:43,793 Do it, Matt. Throw Pebbles out the window. 468 00:17:43,896 --> 00:17:45,482 [ Thunder rumbles ] 469 00:17:45,586 --> 00:17:47,206 Unless you're too tired. 470 00:17:47,310 --> 00:17:49,172 Yeah, unless you're too tired. 471 00:17:49,275 --> 00:17:51,241 N-No, I'm not too tired. 472 00:17:51,344 --> 00:17:52,551 Cool. 473 00:17:52,655 --> 00:17:54,758 [ Thunder rumbles, wind blows ] 474 00:17:54,862 --> 00:17:56,344 If you really support live music, 475 00:17:56,448 --> 00:17:57,862 you'll throw Pebbles out the window. 476 00:17:57,965 --> 00:17:59,724 Do it, Fat One! 477 00:17:59,827 --> 00:18:02,000 [ Laughing ] 478 00:18:02,103 --> 00:18:03,379 Pebbles, I'm sorry! 479 00:18:03,482 --> 00:18:06,034 Woman: Social media killed my family. 480 00:18:06,137 --> 00:18:07,689 I can't stop using it. 481 00:18:07,793 --> 00:18:09,172 God damn it. 482 00:18:11,827 --> 00:18:14,344 [ Inhales sharply ] 483 00:18:14,448 --> 00:18:15,896 [ Exhales ] 484 00:18:18,724 --> 00:18:20,137 ♪♪ 485 00:18:20,241 --> 00:18:22,103 Hey there, Fatty Matty. 486 00:18:22,206 --> 00:18:24,896 You know, there's a carton of ice cream in the freezer. 487 00:18:25,000 --> 00:18:26,413 Why don't you put me on. 488 00:18:26,517 --> 00:18:28,413 We can get cozy. 489 00:18:28,517 --> 00:18:31,241 Shut up, koala pajamas. 490 00:18:31,344 --> 00:18:38,655 ♪♪ 491 00:18:38,758 --> 00:18:46,034 ♪♪ 492 00:18:46,137 --> 00:18:49,793 [ Wind blows, dogs barking, car alarm chirping ] 493 00:18:49,896 --> 00:18:55,689 ♪♪ 494 00:18:55,793 --> 00:18:57,517 [ Engine starts ] 495 00:18:57,620 --> 00:19:04,172 ♪♪ 496 00:19:07,965 --> 00:19:16,758 ♪♪ 497 00:19:16,862 --> 00:19:25,689 ♪♪ 498 00:19:25,793 --> 00:19:30,827 ♪ I could be a better person 499 00:19:30,931 --> 00:19:34,862 ♪ By spreading my wings 500 00:19:34,965 --> 00:19:41,724 ♪ And learning to fly 501 00:19:41,827 --> 00:19:49,482 ♪ But it hurts to fall 502 00:19:49,586 --> 00:19:54,517 ♪ So why fly at all? 503 00:19:54,620 --> 00:19:58,448 ♪ Just give up 504 00:19:58,551 --> 00:20:03,310 ♪ Just give up 505 00:20:03,413 --> 00:20:10,379 ♪ Deep down inside, even birds hate to fly ♪ 506 00:20:10,482 --> 00:20:13,931 ♪ Just give up 507 00:20:14,034 --> 00:20:18,965 ♪ Just give up 508 00:20:19,068 --> 00:20:21,827 ♪ It feels good 509 00:20:21,931 --> 00:20:28,413 ♪ Yeah, you'll land in your own life ♪ 510 00:20:28,517 --> 00:20:36,862 ♪♪ 511 00:20:36,965 --> 00:20:45,586 ♪♪ 512 00:20:45,689 --> 00:20:54,275 ♪♪ 513 00:20:54,379 --> 00:21:02,827 ♪♪ 514 00:21:02,931 --> 00:21:04,724 [ Sighs ] 515 00:21:10,103 --> 00:21:12,068 There's the hook right there! 516 00:21:12,172 --> 00:21:14,000 Here comes the hook! 517 00:21:16,379 --> 00:21:17,862 No. Hold on. 518 00:21:17,965 --> 00:21:19,758 I think we missed the hook a long time ago. 519 00:21:19,862 --> 00:21:21,034 Just rewind the song. 520 00:21:21,137 --> 00:21:23,068 We got to go back and find that hook. 521 00:21:23,172 --> 00:21:24,448 Where's the fucking hook at?! 522 00:21:24,498 --> 00:21:29,048 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 36053

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