Original subtitles

So you're telling me, money bags Mia has zero access to money right now?

It's awful, isn't it?

I'll be there cheering you on at your mum's gym.

It's not a gym, Mia, it's a dojo.

It's not really giving lesbian union, is it?

Can you be more supportive?!

I saw Cleo with another woman. This is my actual life, Mia.

It's not a vibe, it's my life.

Where are you going? Well, I... I thought I could come to your house.

My house?!

What are you on?

Have you stopped taking your meds?

Yeah, I have, but that has got nothing to do with it.

Yeah? You're delusional.

End of chat.

Ella? Where is she? It's OK... It's OK. Can you come, please?

I'm coming now, all right?

I'm on my way. OK, see you soon.

You're pretty cool for a social worker, aren't you, Mr Lalwani?

Thank you.

Juice? Yes, please!

Looks nice.

Thank you.

SHE BURPS

Excuse me.

No, no, it's a compliment to the chef!

HE LAUGHS

So, Ella, I hear it's your birthday soon, right?

Yeah.

Yeah. Oh, it... Yes, it is.

Yeah, do you... Do you... Do you have any plans, or..?

Well, she's going to have a birthday party, right? Yeah. Yeah.

I'm going to have a birthday party. Mm. Do, er...

Do I get an invite?

Yeah! Hey!

Yeah, you can have an invite to my birthday party.

I've got to get to school now. So, um...

Bye.

Bye. Bye.

Make sure you... Slam the door hard. Yeah.

So, Ms Sinclair, you've been looking after Ella since your mother,

Chrissy Burnstine, checked into the Maudsley?

Yeah. As a voluntary patient.

Under section 2.

Erm... So, Mia, tell me a bit about yourself.

My name is Mia. You know that already.

Um, I'm a Scorpio.

I've known Ella since she was a toddler,

maybe even before...

..toddling.

Do you have any history with drugs or alcohol, Mia?

Might have a glass of champagne at Christmas.

Um... Drugs?

Drugs?

Drugs...

No.

Work?

I love work!

Sorry, what field do you work in?

Fashion.

Doing? Wearing.

Wearing? Fashion.

OK. Great, well, I'll get this processed as soon as possible

and, oh, um, I don't know if Chrissy updated you on this,

but Ella is due to see her mother on her birthday.

Oh, yeah. Yeah, she told me. It's great news.

Would you be at all opposed to me bringing her to the party?

Opposed? No!

The more the merrier!

Cool, well, I'll get this all sent off

and we'll do the background checks and, yeah, we'll be sorted.

The background checks?

Yeah, just some checks on the...

Background. Yeah.

Yeah. Straightforward stuff. Nothing to worry about.

Yeah. Not worried. Great.

OK. Thank you. Thanks, Mia. All right, then.

# I once had a life, or rather,

# Life had me

# I was one among many

# Or at least I seemed to be

# Well, I read an old quotation in a book just yesterday

# Said, "Gonna reap just what you sow

# "The debts you make you have to pay." #

You all right, Mum? Oh, all right love.

Oh...

Here.

Oh, you found it!

Thank you.

It was on top of the electric meter.

You know, you hide stuff like only short people steal.

CHUCKLES

How are you?

Me? Mm. Well...

I'm a mum now.

Mm. Mazel tov.

Thank you.

And because you told me fuck all,

I'm now organising a birthday party for a 15-year-old,

which I agreed to in front of her social worker.

Now it's going to be like a reunion for her and her mum,

AKA fucking Scaggy Squirrel. Who would have thought?!

Nurse give me that, she says it's better than Yakult.

It's like probiotics. This is good bacteria.

Yeah. I know what probiotics are, Mum. Mm.

Listen, I need to tell you something.

Yeah, well, like what... What do you NEED to tell me now?

It's about your identity.

Wow, there's billions of good bacteria in here.

Well, fucking open it then! Mum, can we stick to one topic?

What about my identity?

Um, yeah, so...

CLEARS THROAT

I've been using your name.

What do you mean, using my name?

Well...

For what?

I said, what do you mean, using my name?

I said, using my name, for what?

Bukkake!

Well, I thought you was never coming back so why waste good credit,

but it turns out yours is worse than mine, so...

What the fuck?!

I'm going to have to ask you to leave.

Ah! I'm going! Yeah?

You can all suck out!

You think I'm fucking staying here with you lot?!

You haven't got a fucking marble between you!

Yeah? You know why?

Cos you're all fucking mad!

Where am I going to put the...?

Keep them by the light, that's where they're happiest.

Er... No! Well, you're the one who's...

Oi, you can't just be moving this lily like that.

You're traumatising her! Mum, I just need to deep clean

everything, cos it just smells of body juice.

It's a dojo.

I know, but I also want it to be the perfect wedding venue.

Please! Well, it won't be, but it will be very special,

once we've spruced it up a bit.

All right? Urgh!

What am I... I mean...

Let me help you, because you're just scuffing my floor. OK!

Oh, Teddy!

# Amazing Grace

# How sweet the sound

# That saved a wretch like me... #

VOCALISES BADLY

THEY LAUGH

Thank you Teddy, that was lovely.

No, no, thank you for all you do in uplifting the community.

I see all, Grace.

I see all.

Hi, Mr Sinclair.

Joey! You still a lesbian?

Yeah. Good! That's what I like to hear.

Keep up the good work!

It's good to see you, Ted.

Now you see me...

..now you don't!

Bless.

HE CHUCKLES

Keep up the good work?

What was he like before...that?

You mean before he had Mia? Hm-mm.

Sexy as all hell. Mum!

Everybody loved Teddy back then.

He had the best collection of vinyls. Yeah?

Impossible to have a party without Teddy.

What do you think happened?

Not one specific thing.

A succession of tragic events.

When you know society doesn't care about you,

you stop caring about being a part of society.

I mean, I'm sure Mia felt it growing up.

But woo...

Teddy back in the day, boy!

Mum! You didn't...?

No.

But I tried.

THEY LAUGH

And is Mia coming to the wedding?

I don't know, Mum. She said she would, but you know Mia.

Now you see me, now you don't.

Thanks for coming.

Any time.

It's so good to see you.

Yeah. Nah. Listen, let me explain.

Cos you were trying to be nice, right, but what...

What I didn't know then, but what I was about to find out

was my mum was on the verge of a breakdown.

And then I thought I was going to come back to England

and like reinvent myself, but it turns out my mum beat me

to it, and then by some stroke of Babylon, I end up being

a single mum to a 14-year-old child who thinks I'm a dickhead.

Thank you. Thank you!

Ca... Carry on.

It's nice to see you again.

I've missed you.

Mm...

So, not what you thought I was?

Well, what did you think I thought you were?

Mm, well...

..an international self-employed successful businesswoman.

Well, I didn't think that.

So, what did you think?

I just thought you were a laugh and I enjoyed being in your company.

Oh.

So, what's this, er...

What's this girl like, then?

She's amazing.

Considering. Well, I think you'll be good for each other.

You'd make a great mum. Good one. THEY LAUGH

You know, I've actually got to organise a party cos it's her

birthday next week and I am broke.

How do you throw a party with fuck all?

I literally don't know where to start.

Well, I'd love to help you.

Really?

Of course!

Whatever you need.

Thanks for coming to give me a lift.

And thank you, it's like hard to ask for help.

No worries. Yeah?

Yeah. Oh.

Oh, this is... This is me.

CAR LOCK BEEPS

Oh...

Is this your car?

Yeah.

Oh... But what about your other car?

Oh, it was a rental for work. Company car.

Oh!

Right.

So, you was staying in the hotel... For work. For work. Yeah.

And a bit of pleasure.

Ah-ha-ha-ha-ha. Right!

Yeah, it's... It is...

Ooh, thank you. No worries.

KNOCKS ON DOOR

Mr Lalwani said that your mum's going to come and visit

on your birthday. That's exciting, right? You've met my mum, yeah?

Yeah, in passing.

So, would you be excited?

I don't think she's coming to try and ruin your birthday.

And you're not going to be alone.

You've got me.

You don't even know how to boil an egg.

Well, when does the three minutes start? Who knows? Right?

Is it three minutes from when the egg goes in the water

and it's boiling, or just from when it goes in the water?

So, can I actually have a birthday party, then?

Yeah.

Within reason.

I've never had one before,

so I don't have anything to compare it to.

OK.

What you thinking?

I don't know...

Some friends...

..some pizza, some music.

OK, that sounds doable.

Yeah. It'll be nice!

Right.

How did it go? Yeah, it went all right.

We're just going to do a regular kids' party. You know, no frills,

nothing fancy, just the basics.

Well, it's the thought that counts.

Yeah.

Yes, it's the thought that counts.

Mia?

It's me. Shaz!

Shaz! Oh, my God!

Yeah! Wow! How long has it been? 20, 25 years?

At least. Yeah. How's things?

Yeah. Good... Good.

Yeah. How... How about you? Not dead yet!

Right. Yeah, well, nice to see you.

Yeah, nice to see you too.

Ahem.

Excuse me.

Yeah? Can you empty your pockets, please?

What? No.

We've seen you on camera... Yeah?

Oh, my God!

It's... It's me.

Yes, Madam, we've seen you on CCTV.

It's actually me. Do you know what this means?

Well, you can either return the stolen items

or we can call the police.

SHE CACKLES

It means I'm back!

Have that. Treat yourself, babes. Thank you. I'm all right, actually.

Oh, my da... Hey, Shaz! Shaz! There you go.

I'm back! It's me!

Yeah! Oi!

Oh, mate, nice.

Noice!

Hey! Wicked, man! Woo!

No hard feelings, yeah? Nice one, all right.

Yes, lovely, shoulder away from me.

That's it.

Hello.

Mills? Yeah, over your shoulder, good... What?

Er, Anna Wintour's on the line. Drag it back.

Anna Wintour? Nice. Well... Well, fucking put her through!

Anna! It's so great to hear from you!

Yeah, I bet it fucking is.

Who... Who is this?

It's Mia. Did you get the picture I just sent?

All right, hang on.

I didn't know you could rollerblade.

You should have put that on your list of special skills.

Where did you see this? In the discount store today.

You were in a Pound Shop today? Oh, darling...

Listen, that was meant to be one year's worldwide usage

in 2018, which means they owe me mullah.

Absolutely, leave it with me. I'll have to pull up the old contract

and... But just... Yeah, I'm on it.

Leave it with you? Are you high? No. High? I don't get high.

Listen, I'm on my way into the office.

I want a cash advance now!

HE LAUGHS

What do you think this is, the noughties?

Listen, get your arse to the bank, Milly boy, because if you don't,

I am going to call every news outlet in the country and let them

know that you're a nonce who is part of a child sex trafficking ring.

All right? Yeah? You got that? All right, babes!

Mwah, mwah, bye! No...

Hello? Mia!

Oh, for fuck's sake!

When was the last time these walls had a lick of paint?

You're cheeky, you know! I know, but still, when?

You just stick to your shiny undercoat.

A coat's a coat, Mum, a coat's a coat.

Do you find the bowls you want and then break them,

or do they have to already be broken?

The point with Kintsugi is to take something that's already broken

and make it stronger and more beautiful. Hm.

But, yeah, sometimes I do smash them!

LAUGHS

I'm thinking of taking this one to Mia.

Are you still reasserting your boundaries with her?

Yep.

So you're not going to come to Ella's party, then? Who's Ella?

The girl Mia's looking after. What?!

Chrissy's in the Maudsley, I thought you knew.

No!

I didn't. I'm sure she would love to see you.

Looks like you've got lots to catch up on.

Like...?

I'm guessing you didn't tell her things have been a bit bumpy

with you and Cleo. They're not bumpy with Cleo,

that was just a misunderstanding.

I always thought it would be you and Mia who got married.

Mum, not every female friend I have needs to be a potential wife.

Keep your knickers on. Yeah, exactly! I'm just saying.

Well, good for her.

Sounds like she's really getting herself together.

Mm-hm.

MUSIC PLAYS

Wow!

This is...a lot.

Please tell me you are not eating chicken and chips.

Not after I ordered 30 pizzas.

We were hungry. Yeah, that's what I want, you and all your mates to be

hungry, starving, famished, faint. Gagged. She said starving.

She said famished. Oh, no, my girl said faint.

Yes, she did.

Is this your aunt? And is that a Black Hold handbag?

Yes. I bought it today. Ella, who is this?

Their name is Leo. She is giving festive femme chic!

I'm obsessed!

All right, can you lot just hurry up and get ready?

I'm ready. Please, ready for what? This isn't just a pizza party.

I've gone big.

Go!

We was just wondering, can we have balloons tonight?

Yeah, you can have balloons, you can have party poppers,

streamers, whatever you want. Just go, go, go, go, go! Come on!

MOBILE RINGS

All right, Mum.

Yeah... Yes, it's all right. How's it going?

Do you know what? It's a shame I never had a party as a kid,

because I am absolutely crushing it. It's my true calling.

Aw, fantastic, Mia.

Ella is ecstatic.

All right, she's bouncing around like she's just double dropped.

Obviously, she hasn't, I'm taking good care of her.

That's amazing, darling. She means a lot to me.

Yes. I know. Oh! And David's here.

Remember him? The Rabbi's brother. He's like a roving paparazzi.

Paparazzi at a community hall? Is this party for Ella or for you?

I hope you're not burning money just for the sake of it.

What, all of a sudden you're invested in my finances?

All right, Mum, drop me out. I'll chat to you later, yeah?

You OK?

I'm great!

Um, there are a lot of people asking for cash...

OK, yeah, I got it.

Aw, nice bag.

It looks expensive. It is.

Er, the Tuk-tuk driver needs paying, the DJ wants her money up front

and the lighting guy says if you want the anti-epilepsy

strobes, you're going to need the LED bulbs, which he can only

get from Tower Hamlets, which does mean putting them in a cab...

Yeah-yeah, cool-cool. There you go.

It's a lot, innit? Yeah!

Well, I'll go pay him. Innit! Treat yourself.

Oi, this is proper moody.

I like it, it's the vibe.

Thanks, Mia. No-one's ever done anything like this for me before.

It has been an honour

and a privilege to share this day with you.

All right? Now, go and have the best party ever.

All right? I'm going to see you on the other side. Yeah? All right.

She's so cool! Amazing!

MUSIC BLASTING

Everybody, welcome the birthday girl!

And Leo!

And Leo.

Wow! That's sick. Wow! Oh, thanks!

Thank you for coming. Aw, you made it.

Couldn't miss whatever the fuck this is.

Thank you.

I got you this. Ooh!

Thank you! Wait, did you make this?

It's called Kintsukuroi - rather than covering up the breaks,

you make something more interesting and captivating... Ah-ah! Look at mumsy!

Wow! God, would you keep this till the end, cos the kids...

I don't want to break it again!

Thank you! Yeah, OK. She's amazing! You lot coming in? Yeah?

Mum, this is demented.

SHUTTER CLICKS

Hi, um, I'm... I'm David!

Oh. That David. Hi.

Er... Shall we go in? Uh-huh. Yes, off you go.

See you in there.

I like your outfit.

I feel underdressed.

No, it's cute.

Wow, that is a bag!

What, this? Uh-huh. Thank you. Whoa! Um...

Hey, listen, about... About the last time we saw each other...

Mia, I spoke to her. It's not what you thought, she's just a friend.

OK.

All right, yeah, I won't... I won't mention it again, then.

Look at you though, it's only been a couple of weeks and you've

got a man, you've got a kid, you got a new career as a party planner...

It's good, innit? It's very you.

Yeah? What does... Like, how?

This is some party.

Hey! It's nuffin, babes, do you know what I mean?

I keep on saying to Ella, I'm like, look it's really important that we

mark the occasion. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You know Tracey, Ella's mum.

Fucking hell, you look well.

Well, I'm clean and serene.

Yeah? Well, it suits you.

Well, where can we find the birthday girl?

I, er... I don't know, actually. Hey, have you seen Ella?

I think she's through there. Oh, perfect.

Come, come, come, come.

Hey, there you are!

Whoa! Whoa, whoa, whoa!

Oh, my God, they're doing balloons!

What? What are balloons?

Are you thick? Is she thick?

Jo? What's she talking about?

They're like poppers.

Sort of. They're kiddy crack.

Since when? Where have you come from?

New York, babes, all right, where people are doing like fentanyl

and like cocaine and opioids.

They haven't yet moved on to the craze of what, huffing balloons?

Mia, this is grossly inappropriate.

Why don't we just speak privately for a moment and... No.

You can talk to me right here!

OK, well, Ella won't be coming back with you today.

What? Cos I don't know what balloons are?! Oh, and the rest, mate.

You're not fooling anyone.

You know what, Skaggy Squirrel? You need to shut your mouth. What you talking about?

OK, Tracey... Tracey... Wait, wait, wait. Mr Lalwani, you cannot be serious, all right?

Ella is doing great at school, my mum's going to be out of

hospital soon and then everything's going to go back to normal.

Look, some major discrepancies have been brought to our attention.

From who?

Mia, if we could please speak privately, I can bring you up to...

No! Talk to me right here, bruv!

Mia, we have no proof of employment,

there is a massive debt against your name and there's no fixed address.

You barely exist.

What am I? Am I figment of your imagination, or something, then?

And your name also flagged up in an international system,

which I could continue on about, but I'm not sure it's going to help...

No, all right, no, you're good.

OK. Thank you. Just one sec.

Don't touch me!

Well, that shut you up.

INHALES AND EXHALES

Oi, this was a good party.

Yeah. It was.

I tried my best.

Yeah, you tried your best. LOUD BANG

# Going to keep on keeping on

# Can't let myself stop

# Going to keep on keeping on

# Got to show what I got... #