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1
00:00:01,835 --> 00:00:04,170
(woman 1)
I don't even.
I mean, why?
2
00:00:04,170 --> 00:00:05,338
(woman 2)
He just talks to her,
he doesn't talk to her.
3
00:00:05,380 --> 00:00:07,173
He talks to her,
he doesn't talk to her.
4
00:00:07,215 --> 00:00:08,508
Yeah, that's exactly right,
it's like 4:00 in the morning.
5
00:00:08,550 --> 00:00:10,301
and I'm like, oh, my God,
Tim, Tim, Tim?
6
00:00:10,343 --> 00:00:12,053
Okay, so not worth it.
7
00:00:12,095 --> 00:00:13,013
I think she should've left him,
like, a long time ago, but...
8
00:00:15,432 --> 00:00:16,391
Did you catch a word of that?
9
00:00:16,433 --> 00:00:17,809
(scoffing)
Nope.
10
00:00:17,809 --> 00:00:20,270
It's a known fact
that the adult male brain
11
00:00:20,311 --> 00:00:23,106
is incapable of understanding
female speed talking.
12
00:00:23,148 --> 00:00:26,234
Last time I tried,
my head hurt for three days.
13
00:00:26,276 --> 00:00:29,738
(women sobbing at bar)
14
00:00:32,157 --> 00:00:34,701
(tapping bar)
Barkeep?
15
00:00:34,743 --> 00:00:36,661
Can't we put a game
on or something?
16
00:00:36,703 --> 00:00:38,455
Anything but
this sentimental crap?
17
00:00:38,496 --> 00:00:41,207
The movie stays on!
18
00:00:41,249 --> 00:00:43,168
Whatever.
19
00:00:43,209 --> 00:00:45,670
(sighing)
20
00:00:45,670 --> 00:00:47,589
Women are demented.
21
00:00:47,630 --> 00:00:50,467
They babble incoherently,
they cry at the drop of a hat.
22
00:00:50,508 --> 00:00:52,510
To me, those are two
major symptoms of crazy.
23
00:00:52,552 --> 00:00:55,138
And there's Sam Wellman,
expert opinion on women.
24
00:00:55,180 --> 00:00:56,222
Damn straight.
25
00:00:56,264 --> 00:00:57,599
There ain't a female
on this planet
26
00:00:57,640 --> 00:00:59,517
that I can't figure out
in a minute flat.
27
00:00:59,559 --> 00:01:00,685
Especially Georgette.
28
00:01:00,727 --> 00:01:02,854
Diagnosis, nymphomania.
29
00:01:02,896 --> 00:01:05,774
Oh, would you get
over yourself?
30
00:01:05,815 --> 00:01:08,526
It's about time that you found
yourself a nice woman
31
00:01:08,568 --> 00:01:10,612
and you settle down, huh?
32
00:01:10,653 --> 00:01:12,197
Like you and Cynthia?
33
00:01:12,197 --> 00:01:14,157
Don't go there.
Classic ball buster.
34
00:01:14,199 --> 00:01:15,784
I'm a happy man.
Shut the hell up.
35
00:01:15,825 --> 00:01:19,162
Is there a model
in Milan, New York,
36
00:01:19,204 --> 00:01:21,122
Paris you haven't
banged yet?
37
00:01:21,164 --> 00:01:23,875
I got a hot one tonight,
Doc.
38
00:01:23,875 --> 00:01:26,211
This new girl
at the agency.
39
00:01:26,211 --> 00:01:28,546
Oof.
40
00:01:28,546 --> 00:01:29,839
Oh, no.
41
00:01:29,881 --> 00:01:31,341
Don't tell me you caught
something again?
42
00:01:31,382 --> 00:01:32,759
Nah, it's just my dick
in my jockstrap.
43
00:01:32,801 --> 00:01:34,677
Great, can't help you
with that.
44
00:01:34,719 --> 00:01:36,346
(exhales)
45
00:01:36,387 --> 00:01:38,723
What would I do without you
when I got the clap?
46
00:01:38,765 --> 00:01:41,893
You would go to a urologist
instead of a GYN.
47
00:01:41,893 --> 00:01:43,895
You're the only doctor
I can trust with my privacy.
48
00:01:43,937 --> 00:01:46,606
And I kind of like being
the only guy in New York
49
00:01:46,648 --> 00:01:48,733
with a gynecologist.
You're a regular riot, Alice.
50
00:01:48,733 --> 00:01:53,279
(cell phone ringing)
51
00:01:53,321 --> 00:01:54,405
Hey, honey.
52
00:01:54,405 --> 00:01:55,490
Speak of the devil.
53
00:01:55,532 --> 00:01:59,244
Satan, Lucifer,
Beelzebub.
54
00:01:59,285 --> 00:02:01,371
Just having a drink
with Sam.
55
00:02:01,412 --> 00:02:02,831
You know,
I could've guessed that.
56
00:02:02,872 --> 00:02:04,874
How's our favorite little
whoremonger doing?
57
00:02:04,916 --> 00:02:07,460
Ow! What are you doing?
58
00:02:07,502 --> 00:02:08,920
She's not gonna
come over here, is she?
59
00:02:08,920 --> 00:02:11,589
So, where are you taking me
to dinner tonight?
60
00:02:11,631 --> 00:02:13,842
Somewhere expensive.
61
00:02:13,883 --> 00:02:15,426
Oh, right answer.
62
00:02:15,468 --> 00:02:16,678
(loud burp)
63
00:02:16,719 --> 00:02:18,429
Oh, my God,
tell Sam I heard that.
64
00:02:19,514 --> 00:02:21,683
He's beyond repugnant.
65
00:02:21,724 --> 00:02:23,226
(fingers snapping)
66
00:02:23,268 --> 00:02:25,687
See you later,
Soo-Soo, mwah.
67
00:02:28,523 --> 00:02:30,567
(clearing throat)
68
00:02:33,403 --> 00:02:34,445
What?
69
00:02:34,487 --> 00:02:38,324
You know what... Poo-Poo.
70
00:02:38,366 --> 00:02:39,784
You're going to
the bachelor party, right?
71
00:02:39,826 --> 00:02:40,785
Wouldn't miss it
for the world.
72
00:02:40,827 --> 00:02:41,953
You gonna behave yourself?
73
00:02:41,995 --> 00:02:43,538
I was thinking about
sending Stephen
74
00:02:43,580 --> 00:02:46,249
some videos of me
and the blushing bride.
75
00:02:46,291 --> 00:02:47,750
I might just post them
on the Internet.
76
00:02:47,792 --> 00:02:49,794
I hope you're kidding.
77
00:02:58,887 --> 00:02:59,846
(woman)
Good morning, Sam.
78
00:02:59,888 --> 00:03:01,681
Morning, morning.
79
00:03:01,723 --> 00:03:04,309
Listen, I retyped your proposal,
added a couple things.
80
00:03:04,309 --> 00:03:05,935
Hope you like it.
81
00:03:11,399 --> 00:03:13,818
We're gonna do that dinner,
Margaret, I swear.
82
00:03:13,818 --> 00:03:14,903
That'd be great, Sam.
83
00:03:14,944 --> 00:03:16,696
Good morning,
Mr. Wellman.
84
00:03:16,738 --> 00:03:20,241
Mr. Cavalo would like to see you
in his office when you're ready.
85
00:03:20,283 --> 00:03:21,701
Hello, Melissa.
86
00:03:21,743 --> 00:03:22,911
How was your weekend?
87
00:03:22,952 --> 00:03:23,995
Fine, thank you.
88
00:03:24,037 --> 00:03:25,705
Should I ask
how yours was?
89
00:03:25,747 --> 00:03:27,999
Oh, you know,
usual debauchery.
90
00:03:28,041 --> 00:03:31,336
Grist for my novel.
91
00:03:31,336 --> 00:03:33,588
And, uh, what would that
novel be about again?
92
00:03:33,630 --> 00:03:35,340
It's about
an office assistant.
93
00:03:35,340 --> 00:03:37,842
Demure, passionate,
very lonely.
94
00:03:37,884 --> 00:03:40,303
Madly in love with her
incredibly attractive boss.
95
00:03:40,345 --> 00:03:42,847
Wow, you have quite
the imagination.
96
00:03:42,889 --> 00:03:45,016
You wouldn't wanna help me
do the research, would you?
97
00:03:45,058 --> 00:03:47,268
You know, I'm writing
my own novel.
98
00:03:47,310 --> 00:03:48,645
Would you like
to hear about it?
99
00:03:48,686 --> 00:03:50,480
No.
100
00:03:58,988 --> 00:04:02,659
Do you know the first thing
I notice about a woman?
101
00:04:02,700 --> 00:04:03,701
Her ass.
102
00:04:03,701 --> 00:04:05,036
(chuckling)
103
00:04:05,036 --> 00:04:06,829
I mean, have you ever
noticed how a woman's ass
104
00:04:06,871 --> 00:04:09,457
gets a little firmer
when she's nervous?
105
00:04:09,499 --> 00:04:10,500
(chuckling)
106
00:04:10,541 --> 00:04:13,878
It's a thing of beauty.
107
00:04:13,920 --> 00:04:15,755
I should be writing
this down, shouldn't I?
108
00:04:15,797 --> 00:04:19,300
(chuckling)
Let's take a closer look.
109
00:04:21,678 --> 00:04:22,762
Oh...
110
00:04:22,804 --> 00:04:24,931
Oh, listen,
111
00:04:24,973 --> 00:04:28,559
Lulu loved our suggestion
on the new brassiere line.
112
00:04:28,559 --> 00:04:30,561
Outstanding.
113
00:04:30,561 --> 00:04:32,605
How's it going with her
by the way?
114
00:04:32,647 --> 00:04:33,856
How's it going?
115
00:04:33,898 --> 00:04:35,608
She tied me
to the bed last night
116
00:04:35,650 --> 00:04:37,568
and beat the crap out of me,
that's how it's going.
117
00:04:37,568 --> 00:04:40,571
That good, huh?
And by the way...
118
00:04:40,571 --> 00:04:44,325
Lulu said she was stopping by
on the way to a fashion show
119
00:04:44,367 --> 00:04:46,327
to tell you in person.
She should be here...
120
00:04:46,369 --> 00:04:48,579
Excuse me, uh, Mr. Cavalo,
Lulu's here.
121
00:04:48,621 --> 00:04:49,872
She's waiting for you
in the conference room.
122
00:04:49,914 --> 00:04:52,333
Just about now.
123
00:04:52,375 --> 00:04:54,460
Thank you.
Tell her we'll be right there.
124
00:04:54,502 --> 00:04:56,629
Yes, Mr. Cavalo.
125
00:04:59,757 --> 00:05:03,594
So, last night,
Stephanie?
126
00:05:03,594 --> 00:05:04,595
Uh...
127
00:05:04,595 --> 00:05:07,932
Oh, hey, wait,
taxi's on me.
128
00:05:07,932 --> 00:05:09,684
I should've listened
to Christina.
129
00:05:09,726 --> 00:05:11,644
She said you were a pig.
130
00:05:13,730 --> 00:05:15,773
It's a work in progress.
131
00:05:15,773 --> 00:05:17,567
A work in progress?
132
00:05:17,608 --> 00:05:21,029
Sam, don't over think it,
it's Pavlovian.
133
00:05:21,070 --> 00:05:22,447
Huh?
134
00:05:22,488 --> 00:05:24,866
It's Pavlovian.
135
00:05:27,994 --> 00:05:30,455
Pavlov's dogs?
136
00:05:30,496 --> 00:05:32,582
You push the right buttons,
they salivate.
137
00:05:32,623 --> 00:05:33,666
I mean, for some women,
it's money.
138
00:05:33,708 --> 00:05:35,793
Other women,
it's marriage.
139
00:05:35,835 --> 00:05:38,588
But whatever it is,
you give 'em the right spiel,
140
00:05:38,629 --> 00:05:40,465
they roll over.
141
00:05:40,465 --> 00:05:41,466
Got you, Sey.
142
00:05:41,466 --> 00:05:42,800
Lulu.
143
00:05:42,842 --> 00:05:44,427
We gotta stop
meeting like this.
144
00:05:44,469 --> 00:05:47,138
Aw, poor Seymour.
145
00:05:47,180 --> 00:05:50,475
Oh, I imagine you're still
smarting from last night.
146
00:05:50,475 --> 00:05:51,517
Mm-hmm.
147
00:05:51,559 --> 00:05:53,144
We did get a bit adventurous.
148
00:05:53,144 --> 00:05:54,687
A bit.
149
00:05:54,729 --> 00:05:56,522
Especially with that spatula.
150
00:05:56,564 --> 00:05:57,648
Shh...
151
00:05:57,648 --> 00:05:59,484
Ooh, God,
that thing leaves marks.
152
00:05:59,525 --> 00:06:00,526
(both chuckling)
153
00:06:00,568 --> 00:06:01,569
Tell me about it.
154
00:06:01,611 --> 00:06:03,988
Hmm.
Oh, Sam.
155
00:06:04,030 --> 00:06:06,657
Oh, you make
an adorable executive.
156
00:06:06,699 --> 00:06:08,993
So cute in that suit.
157
00:06:09,035 --> 00:06:11,996
God, I could just eat him up
with peanut butter.
158
00:06:12,038 --> 00:06:14,916
Hell, forget the peanut butter,
just give him to me plain.
159
00:06:14,957 --> 00:06:16,667
It's nice to see you,
Lulu.
160
00:06:16,667 --> 00:06:17,794
I hope you liked the models
we sent you
161
00:06:17,835 --> 00:06:19,629
for the lingerie show.
162
00:06:19,670 --> 00:06:22,840
They were skinny, stupid,
and drugged out of their minds.
163
00:06:22,840 --> 00:06:25,676
Uh...
164
00:06:25,676 --> 00:06:27,970
In other words,
they were perfect.
165
00:06:28,012 --> 00:06:29,639
The buyers loved them.
166
00:06:29,680 --> 00:06:32,183
I want them for
the next two shows.
167
00:06:32,225 --> 00:06:34,977
So, you'll make sure
Mr. Naughty
168
00:06:35,019 --> 00:06:36,938
stays out of trouble.
169
00:06:36,979 --> 00:06:38,773
Ahh...
170
00:06:38,815 --> 00:06:41,526
Until our rendezvous
later at the hotel?
171
00:06:41,567 --> 00:06:42,568
It's a date.
172
00:06:42,610 --> 00:06:44,028
(chuckling)
173
00:06:44,070 --> 00:06:46,531
Okay.
174
00:06:46,531 --> 00:06:47,698
(mimicking cat purring)
175
00:06:47,698 --> 00:06:50,159
(purring)
Bye-bye, cutie pie.
176
00:06:52,036 --> 00:06:54,539
That's it?
Quick and almost painless?
177
00:06:54,539 --> 00:06:56,624
What?
178
00:06:56,666 --> 00:06:57,625
Mr. Naughty?
179
00:06:57,667 --> 00:06:58,960
I'm telling you something, Sam.
180
00:06:59,001 --> 00:07:02,588
You remind me so much of me
when I was younger.
181
00:07:02,630 --> 00:07:04,048
A genius?
182
00:07:04,048 --> 00:07:07,051
No, a complete asshole.
183
00:07:07,093 --> 00:07:08,761
But a brilliant one.
184
00:07:08,803 --> 00:07:09,762
To tell you the truth,
185
00:07:09,804 --> 00:07:10,930
I wasn't half as slick
186
00:07:10,972 --> 00:07:12,807
as you are
when I was your age.
187
00:07:12,849 --> 00:07:15,017
Guess I am a bit
of a prodigy.
188
00:07:15,059 --> 00:07:16,227
(glasses clink)
189
00:07:16,227 --> 00:07:18,729
Move over, Mozart--
wait a minute, Sam.
190
00:07:18,729 --> 00:07:21,524
I gotta ask you.
Stephanie?
191
00:07:21,566 --> 00:07:23,734
Does she...
192
00:07:23,776 --> 00:07:26,070
Does she wear panties?
193
00:07:26,112 --> 00:07:28,239
Congratulations on
the Lulu account, Sam.
194
00:07:28,239 --> 00:07:30,533
We just got the memo
about our next show.
195
00:07:30,575 --> 00:07:31,909
Couldn't have done it
without you, Margaret, baby.
196
00:07:31,909 --> 00:07:33,536
I just told Seymour
that, too.
197
00:07:33,578 --> 00:07:35,037
What, what, I don't know--
Right, right, Seymour?
198
00:07:35,079 --> 00:07:39,041
Yes, Margaret, of course,
it was a great job, lovely, yes.
199
00:07:39,083 --> 00:07:40,877
Can you do us a favor?
Can you, uh...
200
00:07:40,918 --> 00:07:42,086
can you excuse us?
Of course.
201
00:07:42,128 --> 00:07:45,047
We're talking very important
business here.
202
00:07:45,089 --> 00:07:47,091
So...
203
00:07:47,133 --> 00:07:48,968
You were saying?
204
00:07:49,010 --> 00:07:51,220
(chuckles)
205
00:07:51,262 --> 00:07:52,763
No.
206
00:07:52,763 --> 00:07:55,099
♪♪
207
00:07:58,102 --> 00:08:00,146
(laughter and chatter)
208
00:08:00,188 --> 00:08:03,107
I wish that wasn't
as true as it sounds.
209
00:08:03,107 --> 00:08:04,984
Hey, I wanna propose
a toast real quick.
210
00:08:05,026 --> 00:08:06,569
Okay.
211
00:08:06,611 --> 00:08:08,070
To my buddy, Stephen.
212
00:08:08,112 --> 00:08:09,614
You know what they say,
Stephen.
213
00:08:09,614 --> 00:08:11,199
What do they say?
214
00:08:11,240 --> 00:08:13,743
Marriage is the only war
where you sleep with the enemy.
215
00:08:13,784 --> 00:08:17,663
(all laughing)
Hey!
216
00:08:20,291 --> 00:08:22,752
Joey, keep 'em coming!
Another round.
217
00:08:22,793 --> 00:08:24,003
You got it, buddy.
218
00:08:24,045 --> 00:08:25,671
Here's to Stephen.
219
00:08:25,713 --> 00:08:27,757
Congratu-fricku-lations you
horny little son-of-a-bitch.
220
00:08:30,343 --> 00:08:31,636
Okay.
221
00:08:31,636 --> 00:08:32,803
(laughing)
That's all right.
222
00:08:32,845 --> 00:08:33,971
Okay.
Hey, maybe--
223
00:08:33,971 --> 00:08:35,806
(knocking on door)
I'll get it.
224
00:08:37,308 --> 00:08:38,809
Hey, whoa, whoa,
turn the tunes down.
225
00:08:38,851 --> 00:08:40,603
Oh, no.
Are we being loud here?
226
00:08:40,645 --> 00:08:42,647
We're probably in trouble.
227
00:08:42,647 --> 00:08:45,608
It's show time!
228
00:08:45,650 --> 00:08:47,818
Whoo!
It's show time.
229
00:08:47,818 --> 00:08:48,945
Whoo-hoo.
230
00:08:48,986 --> 00:08:51,614
Look at this.
Wow!
231
00:08:51,656 --> 00:08:54,075
Come on,
get your ass out here.
232
00:08:54,116 --> 00:08:55,326
Come on...
233
00:08:55,326 --> 00:08:59,705
(men whooping)
234
00:08:59,747 --> 00:09:01,165
Come on,
let's see those asses.
235
00:09:01,207 --> 00:09:02,583
Pull up a chair
for this guy.
236
00:09:02,625 --> 00:09:05,670
Oh, I think I'm gonna
throw up.
237
00:09:05,711 --> 00:09:07,588
(music and chatting)
238
00:09:12,677 --> 00:09:13,970
What, you had to bring
your own tequila?
239
00:09:14,011 --> 00:09:15,638
We didn't have enough
bottles here for you?
240
00:09:15,680 --> 00:09:18,140
It's not tequila,
it's Añejo.
241
00:09:18,182 --> 00:09:21,143
(burping)
Añ-e-jo.
242
00:09:21,185 --> 00:09:24,021
I stand corrected.
You stand corrected.
243
00:09:24,063 --> 00:09:25,356
(Joey)
Hey, Stevie,
you gonna wear
244
00:09:25,398 --> 00:09:26,857
your wedding ring
when you get married?
245
00:09:31,362 --> 00:09:32,697
What the hell
are you doing, man?
246
00:09:32,697 --> 00:09:34,865
I'm documenting
for posterity.
247
00:09:34,865 --> 00:09:37,034
You're gonna send those
to Georgette.
248
00:09:37,034 --> 00:09:39,203
That's a great idea.
249
00:09:39,203 --> 00:09:40,788
That's very wrong, Sam.
250
00:09:40,830 --> 00:09:41,998
Yeah, well, who are you,
my priest?
251
00:09:42,039 --> 00:09:43,708
No, I'm your best friend.
252
00:09:43,708 --> 00:09:44,959
Yeah, well,
you know what, friend?
253
00:09:45,001 --> 00:09:48,212
What, friend?
254
00:09:48,212 --> 00:09:50,006
Mind your own
freaking business.
255
00:09:50,047 --> 00:09:52,883
Okay, I have to be
a good boy.
256
00:09:52,925 --> 00:09:55,052
You girls go see Joey.
257
00:09:58,097 --> 00:09:59,348
What's your name,
baby?
258
00:09:59,390 --> 00:10:00,391
My name's Cat.
259
00:10:00,391 --> 00:10:02,059
How about you?
Legs.
260
00:10:02,101 --> 00:10:05,313
Oh, man, I'm right where
I'm supposed to be.
261
00:10:05,354 --> 00:10:06,397
Whew.
262
00:10:12,361 --> 00:10:13,404
Where the hell
are you going?
263
00:10:13,404 --> 00:10:14,947
Out.
264
00:10:14,989 --> 00:10:16,198
You got a problem
with that?
265
00:10:16,240 --> 00:10:18,200
Yeah, I got
a problem with that.
266
00:10:18,242 --> 00:10:20,953
Tough.
267
00:10:20,995 --> 00:10:22,413
(men laughing)
268
00:10:31,797 --> 00:10:33,758
(bottles clinking)
269
00:10:38,220 --> 00:10:40,306
Excuse me.
270
00:10:47,938 --> 00:10:49,732
Hmm.
271
00:11:06,874 --> 00:11:11,128
(static, changing channels)
272
00:11:13,214 --> 00:11:14,965
(chuckling)
273
00:11:18,052 --> 00:11:19,970
That's a good-looking hat.
274
00:11:24,809 --> 00:11:26,143
(radio clicks)
275
00:11:26,143 --> 00:11:27,978
(man)
Can I help you, young man?
276
00:11:28,020 --> 00:11:29,480
(clearing throat)
277
00:11:31,107 --> 00:11:33,943
Oh, nice hat.
278
00:11:33,984 --> 00:11:34,985
Thank you.
279
00:11:34,985 --> 00:11:36,278
Didn't offer much protection
280
00:11:36,320 --> 00:11:39,115
from the cold
at Valley Forge, but...
281
00:11:39,156 --> 00:11:42,201
it looked good at the victory
parade a few years later.
282
00:11:42,243 --> 00:11:44,078
Tea?
283
00:11:44,120 --> 00:11:45,454
Got anything stronger?
284
00:11:45,496 --> 00:11:48,874
Oh, it's strong tea.
It's a special blend.
285
00:11:48,916 --> 00:11:51,001
Sit down.
286
00:12:02,805 --> 00:12:04,432
Good?
287
00:12:04,473 --> 00:12:05,433
Yeah.
288
00:12:08,436 --> 00:12:10,354
Big night on the town, eh?
289
00:12:11,397 --> 00:12:14,442
Bachelor party.
Not mine.
290
00:12:14,483 --> 00:12:16,360
Confirmed bachelor, eh?
291
00:12:18,028 --> 00:12:20,072
Hmm.
292
00:12:20,114 --> 00:12:21,991
Are the happy couple
good friends?
293
00:12:22,032 --> 00:12:23,075
Huh?
294
00:12:23,117 --> 00:12:24,410
Relationships work best
295
00:12:24,452 --> 00:12:26,871
when there's a strong bond
of friendship.
296
00:12:26,871 --> 00:12:29,540
Trust, a core of trust?
297
00:12:29,540 --> 00:12:33,294
He's crazy if he trusts her,
I can tell you that much.
298
00:12:33,335 --> 00:12:34,879
A good-looking
young man like you
299
00:12:34,920 --> 00:12:36,547
must have a girlfriend.
300
00:12:36,589 --> 00:12:37,548
Whenever I want.
301
00:12:39,884 --> 00:12:42,178
No one special?
302
00:12:42,219 --> 00:12:44,930
No such thing.
303
00:12:44,972 --> 00:12:46,849
You're not very fond
of the female
304
00:12:46,891 --> 00:12:48,392
of the species,
are you?
305
00:12:48,434 --> 00:12:51,896
Good for one thing
and one thing only.
306
00:12:51,896 --> 00:12:55,816
Women are God's gift
to the world, son.
307
00:12:55,858 --> 00:12:58,152
I guess He forgot
to give me my present.
308
00:12:59,403 --> 00:13:01,405
How do you know
God's a he?
309
00:13:01,405 --> 00:13:02,406
Please.
310
00:13:04,992 --> 00:13:06,118
Well, thanks for the tea,
old-timer.
311
00:13:06,160 --> 00:13:07,161
I gotta get going.
312
00:13:07,203 --> 00:13:08,579
Where do you live, son?
313
00:13:08,621 --> 00:13:11,040
Murray Hill.
314
00:13:11,081 --> 00:13:13,083
Murray Hill.
315
00:13:13,125 --> 00:13:15,085
That's a very nice
neighborhood.
316
00:13:15,085 --> 00:13:16,420
Thanks.
317
00:13:16,462 --> 00:13:18,255
Do you know how Murray Hill
got its name?
318
00:13:18,297 --> 00:13:20,341
Murray's Deli?
319
00:13:20,382 --> 00:13:22,092
No.
320
00:13:22,092 --> 00:13:23,594
The Murray family.
321
00:13:23,636 --> 00:13:25,846
Quakers.
They were Quakers,
322
00:13:25,888 --> 00:13:29,308
you know, like the oatmeal?
Right.
323
00:13:29,350 --> 00:13:33,270
They had a fine mansion up
at the top of Murray Hill.
324
00:13:33,270 --> 00:13:36,023
It was about where
37th and Park is today.
325
00:13:38,067 --> 00:13:41,028
Mrs. Murray was
a very good-looking woman.
326
00:13:41,070 --> 00:13:43,614
Good for Mr. Murray.
327
00:13:43,656 --> 00:13:48,160
Yeah, well, Mr. Murray wasn't
around on September 15, 1776
328
00:13:48,202 --> 00:13:54,083
when 20,000 British and Hessian
troops invaded Manhattan.
329
00:13:54,124 --> 00:13:56,377
They landed at Kips Bay.
330
00:13:56,418 --> 00:14:00,005
That's about where
34th Street is today.
331
00:14:00,047 --> 00:14:02,299
Washington had about
9,000 troops,
332
00:14:02,299 --> 00:14:05,094
but they were most of them
stationed downtown.
333
00:14:05,135 --> 00:14:08,889
The British were about ready
to cut the rebels in two.
334
00:14:08,931 --> 00:14:12,184
But Mrs. Murray
outsmarted them.
335
00:14:12,226 --> 00:14:14,103
She plied the soldiers
with wine
336
00:14:14,144 --> 00:14:15,938
and flirted
with the general.
337
00:14:15,980 --> 00:14:17,481
(chuckling)
Just like a broad.
338
00:14:17,481 --> 00:14:19,316
Well...
339
00:14:19,316 --> 00:14:21,277
while she was entertaining
the top brass,
340
00:14:21,318 --> 00:14:24,572
the rebels escaped
up the west side.
341
00:14:24,613 --> 00:14:26,156
Yes, without her,
342
00:14:26,198 --> 00:14:29,577
the war would've been over
before it started.
343
00:14:29,618 --> 00:14:33,998
Washington, Jefferson,
John Adams.
344
00:14:33,998 --> 00:14:37,251
The whole bunch of 'em would've
been hanged for treason.
345
00:14:37,293 --> 00:14:39,295
Hmm.
346
00:14:39,336 --> 00:14:41,338
A woman?
347
00:14:41,338 --> 00:14:44,008
It's the truth.
348
00:14:44,008 --> 00:14:46,969
Mrs. Murray saved
the Americans.
349
00:14:47,011 --> 00:14:49,221
She saved the revolution.
350
00:14:49,263 --> 00:14:52,349
She saved the brand-new
U.S. of A.
351
00:14:52,349 --> 00:14:54,518
Well, that's a hell
of a story, Pops.
352
00:14:54,518 --> 00:14:56,520
I'll remember it next time
I'm walking down Park Avenue.
353
00:14:56,562 --> 00:14:58,480
Yeah, remember what
I told you about women.
354
00:14:58,522 --> 00:15:00,691
That's why
I told you the story.
355
00:15:00,691 --> 00:15:03,944
Well, they must've broke
the mold when they made her,
356
00:15:03,986 --> 00:15:07,406
'cause ever chick nowadays
is a total bitch.
357
00:15:10,075 --> 00:15:12,202
Maybe you just need to live
a little bit more.
358
00:15:12,244 --> 00:15:16,248
There's nothing like
experience to open your eyes.
359
00:15:16,290 --> 00:15:19,960
Yeah, right.
360
00:15:20,002 --> 00:15:24,048
Uh, hey, uh, which way
is 7th Avenue?
361
00:15:24,089 --> 00:15:27,384
Guy who laid out these streets
must've been cross-eyed.
362
00:15:27,384 --> 00:15:30,054
You take the first right
out the door.
363
00:15:30,054 --> 00:15:34,183
Then you take
the next two rights.
364
00:15:34,224 --> 00:15:37,353
Well, thanks, Pops.
I'll see ya.
365
00:15:40,481 --> 00:15:41,440
(door creaks open)
366
00:15:41,482 --> 00:15:43,233
Yes, you will.
367
00:15:52,576 --> 00:15:54,244
(sighing)
368
00:16:02,378 --> 00:16:04,505
Cool dream.
369
00:16:12,721 --> 00:16:16,058
(screaming)
370
00:16:16,100 --> 00:16:19,103
(hysterical screaming)
371
00:16:33,242 --> 00:16:35,577
Oh, my God,
oh, my God,
372
00:16:35,619 --> 00:16:37,121
oh, my God!
373
00:16:37,162 --> 00:16:40,290
Oh... my... God!
Oh, my God, oh, my God.
374
00:16:49,591 --> 00:16:52,386
A hallucination.
A hallucination.
375
00:16:52,428 --> 00:16:53,387
A hallucination.
376
00:16:59,685 --> 00:17:01,603
Shit.
377
00:17:01,645 --> 00:17:02,354
Shit!
378
00:17:05,232 --> 00:17:07,484
Hi, can I help you?
Where's Doc?
379
00:17:07,526 --> 00:17:08,777
I'm sorry, who are you
here to see?
380
00:17:08,819 --> 00:17:10,154
Doc.
381
00:17:10,154 --> 00:17:12,197
Dr. Andrew Bellamy,
OBGYN.
382
00:17:12,239 --> 00:17:13,490
It says it right there
on the door.
383
00:17:13,532 --> 00:17:15,492
Well, Dr. Bellamy's with
a patient right now.
384
00:17:15,534 --> 00:17:18,328
Okay, well,
I need to see him now.
385
00:17:18,328 --> 00:17:20,497
Okay, young lady,
please calm yourself down.
386
00:17:20,539 --> 00:17:22,374
Yes, please.
387
00:17:22,416 --> 00:17:25,502
Oh, mind your own business,
Miss STD!
388
00:17:25,502 --> 00:17:27,129
Okay, you know what?
389
00:17:27,171 --> 00:17:29,339
I will set up an appointment
for you with Dr. Bellamy--
390
00:17:29,381 --> 00:17:30,507
Hey!
391
00:17:30,549 --> 00:17:33,218
Don't mess with me, bitch!
392
00:17:37,723 --> 00:17:39,516
(woman gasps)
393
00:17:39,516 --> 00:17:41,185
Doc!
394
00:17:41,226 --> 00:17:42,478
Look what fuckin'
happened to me, dude!
395
00:17:42,519 --> 00:17:44,146
Look at me!
396
00:17:44,188 --> 00:17:46,857
Miss, please, I am in the middle
of an examination here.
397
00:17:46,857 --> 00:17:50,611
Would you tell trash mouth Sally
here to wait her turn?!
398
00:17:50,652 --> 00:17:52,529
Oh, shut the hell up,
lady!
399
00:17:52,529 --> 00:17:54,198
Doc, you got--
400
00:17:54,239 --> 00:17:56,158
Miss, if you do not behave,
I will call security.
401
00:17:56,200 --> 00:17:58,160
Angie, that won't
be necessary.
402
00:17:58,202 --> 00:17:59,536
Help me with
Miss Goldfarb here.
403
00:17:59,536 --> 00:18:00,871
We're gonna move you
to another room.
404
00:18:00,871 --> 00:18:02,456
Thank you,
Doctor and Angie.
405
00:18:02,498 --> 00:18:03,791
What a yakhneh!
406
00:18:05,584 --> 00:18:07,878
Angie, I won't be long.
407
00:18:09,630 --> 00:18:11,256
Doc, I don't know
what happened, man.
408
00:18:11,298 --> 00:18:13,717
I woke up this morning,
and I'm a fuckin' broad!
409
00:18:13,759 --> 00:18:15,552
Okay, there are
a lot of...
410
00:18:15,552 --> 00:18:17,471
psychologist's offices
in the building.
411
00:18:17,513 --> 00:18:19,473
Are you sure you didn't
walk into the wrong one?
412
00:18:19,515 --> 00:18:20,891
Doc, you gotta believe me.
413
00:18:20,933 --> 00:18:22,893
I-- I feel like I'm in this,
like, this nightmare.
414
00:18:22,893 --> 00:18:25,521
Like, I just keep
waiting to wake up!
415
00:18:25,562 --> 00:18:28,732
Dude, it's me!
It's Sam!
416
00:18:28,774 --> 00:18:30,359
Sam?
417
00:18:30,400 --> 00:18:34,238
Sam! Sam Wellman,
your best friend?!
418
00:18:34,279 --> 00:18:35,739
Okay, very good.
419
00:18:35,781 --> 00:18:37,366
How much is he paying you?
420
00:18:37,407 --> 00:18:38,784
Ask me something.
Ask me anything.
421
00:18:38,826 --> 00:18:40,369
Really,
I get the joke.
422
00:18:40,410 --> 00:18:43,497
Yeah, okay, ask me something
about-- about Cynthia.
423
00:18:43,539 --> 00:18:44,748
You know about Cynthia?
424
00:18:44,748 --> 00:18:45,916
Dude, I know
everything about you.
425
00:18:45,916 --> 00:18:48,252
You're Boo-Boo,
she's Soo-Soo.
426
00:18:48,252 --> 00:18:49,837
He told you that?
427
00:18:49,878 --> 00:18:51,296
Oh!
428
00:18:51,338 --> 00:18:52,589
You were nine years old.
429
00:18:52,589 --> 00:18:53,924
You showed it
to Lauren Abramsky.
430
00:18:53,966 --> 00:18:55,509
She kicked you in
the nuts.
431
00:18:55,551 --> 00:18:56,718
You told your mom
you fell off the swing.
432
00:18:56,760 --> 00:18:59,221
He told you that?!
I was there, dude.
433
00:18:59,263 --> 00:19:00,556
I practically
carried you home.
434
00:19:00,597 --> 00:19:01,807
Oh!
435
00:19:01,849 --> 00:19:03,767
Senior Prom,
Sandi O'Malley gave you
436
00:19:03,809 --> 00:19:05,811
your second blow job
under the bleachers.
437
00:19:05,853 --> 00:19:08,188
Your first blow job,
March 1st, 1993,
438
00:19:08,230 --> 00:19:09,898
Lisa Kaminsky
in your basement,
439
00:19:09,940 --> 00:19:11,358
your mom came home--
440
00:19:11,400 --> 00:19:12,818
Is there anything that prick
didn't tell you?
441
00:19:12,860 --> 00:19:15,195
I am that prick!
442
00:19:15,237 --> 00:19:17,656
Oh!
443
00:19:17,698 --> 00:19:20,576
(scissors snipping)
DNA!
444
00:19:20,617 --> 00:19:22,286
Miss, please,
put down the scissors.
445
00:19:22,286 --> 00:19:24,288
Doc, DNA.
446
00:19:24,329 --> 00:19:25,789
DNA.
Get a DNA test done.
447
00:19:25,831 --> 00:19:28,375
Great, please, the scissors,
before someone gets hurt.
448
00:19:28,417 --> 00:19:29,585
Yeah, but Doc,
you have the blood
449
00:19:29,626 --> 00:19:30,794
from the paternity suit.
450
00:19:30,794 --> 00:19:33,297
We get a DNA test done--
poof, yeah.
451
00:19:33,297 --> 00:19:36,466
Okay, sure, great.
Now, give me the scissors.
452
00:19:36,466 --> 00:19:38,802
And go home
and get some rest, huh?
453
00:19:38,802 --> 00:19:39,803
Okay, but you're gonna do it.
You'll do it right away.
454
00:19:39,803 --> 00:19:41,263
Yeah, as soon
as you leave,
455
00:19:41,305 --> 00:19:42,931
it goes right to
the DNA office or whatever.
456
00:19:42,973 --> 00:19:44,433
Yeah? Okay.
Yeah, sure, great.
457
00:19:44,474 --> 00:19:45,559
Okay, good,
but you're gonna do it?
458
00:19:45,601 --> 00:19:46,685
Uh-huh.
Okay.
459
00:19:46,727 --> 00:19:48,437
Just relax.
Okay.
460
00:19:48,478 --> 00:19:49,563
Go home.
Okay.
461
00:19:49,605 --> 00:19:51,648
Get some rest.
All right.
462
00:19:55,569 --> 00:19:57,696
Fucking Sam, Jesus.
463
00:20:00,741 --> 00:20:02,659
Have an amazing day,
Mr. Johnson.
464
00:20:04,286 --> 00:20:05,454
Excuse me.
Hey, Lou, what's up?
465
00:20:05,495 --> 00:20:06,830
Excuse me,
can I help you?
466
00:20:06,830 --> 00:20:08,582
I can't right now, Lou,
I got a situation.
467
00:20:08,624 --> 00:20:09,958
Excuse me, Miss?
468
00:20:10,000 --> 00:20:11,376
Uh...
469
00:20:11,418 --> 00:20:13,545
You're here
to see who?
470
00:20:13,587 --> 00:20:16,340
Oh, right, I'm sorry.
471
00:20:16,340 --> 00:20:18,884
I am Sam Wellman's cousin.
472
00:20:18,926 --> 00:20:20,886
I, uh...
He gave me the keys.
473
00:20:20,928 --> 00:20:22,512
(chuckling)
474
00:20:22,554 --> 00:20:25,015
Yeah, Sam, he's a great guy.
Uh-huh.
475
00:20:25,015 --> 00:20:26,391
Yeah, he's letting me
stay here
476
00:20:26,433 --> 00:20:27,684
just for, uh,
for a little bit.
477
00:20:27,726 --> 00:20:29,478
That's great, Miss...
478
00:20:29,519 --> 00:20:32,397
Samantha Wellman.
Samantha Wellman.
479
00:20:32,439 --> 00:20:35,025
Lou, but you knew
that already.
480
00:20:35,067 --> 00:20:37,361
Yeah, Sam, uh, speaks
very highly of you.
481
00:20:37,361 --> 00:20:40,489
Is that right?
Yeah.
482
00:20:40,530 --> 00:20:41,865
Let me know if there's
anything I can do for you?
483
00:20:41,907 --> 00:20:43,325
All right, cool, cool.
484
00:20:43,367 --> 00:20:45,369
Thanks, Lou.
485
00:20:45,410 --> 00:20:47,371
Boom, yeah.
486
00:20:47,371 --> 00:20:48,372
Cool!
487
00:20:49,831 --> 00:20:52,251
(music playing)
488
00:20:54,461 --> 00:20:57,881
(cell phone melody)
489
00:20:59,758 --> 00:21:01,009
Doc!
490
00:21:01,051 --> 00:21:02,719
Ah, I knew that you'd call.
491
00:21:02,719 --> 00:21:05,055
Dude, yo, yo, yo, you get those
test results back yet?
492
00:21:05,097 --> 00:21:07,391
Look, I don't know
who you are
493
00:21:07,391 --> 00:21:09,393
or what you think
you're doing, lady,
494
00:21:09,393 --> 00:21:11,561
but this stopped being funny
a long time ago.
495
00:21:11,561 --> 00:21:12,980
Now where the hell is Sam?
496
00:21:13,021 --> 00:21:14,481
Doc, come on, dude!
497
00:21:14,523 --> 00:21:16,858
It's me, it's Sam!You gotta--
498
00:21:16,900 --> 00:21:18,277
Ugh!
Ugh!
499
00:21:19,361 --> 00:21:20,904
Hey, baby.
500
00:21:20,946 --> 00:21:21,947
Hey, hey, hey.
501
00:21:21,989 --> 00:21:23,949
How's it going?
Good.
502
00:21:23,991 --> 00:21:25,784
Mmm...
503
00:21:28,412 --> 00:21:30,497
(cell phone ringing)
504
00:21:30,539 --> 00:21:34,584
Melissa, hey, yeah.
505
00:21:34,584 --> 00:21:36,712
Really?
No messages.
506
00:21:36,753 --> 00:21:40,382
Yeah, I called him,
but some lady keeps answering.
507
00:21:40,424 --> 00:21:42,092
I don't know who she is.
Call girl.
508
00:21:42,134 --> 00:21:45,470
I'm sure he is just
sleeping it off
509
00:21:45,512 --> 00:21:47,764
in a a motel somewhere,
you know?
510
00:21:48,932 --> 00:21:51,018
(sighing)
Okay.
511
00:21:51,059 --> 00:21:52,602
Yeah, let me know
as soon as
512
00:21:52,644 --> 00:21:55,439
you hear anything,
please, okay?
513
00:21:55,439 --> 00:21:56,982
Bye.
514
00:21:59,943 --> 00:22:04,614
Honey, Sam's a big boy.
He can take care of himself.
515
00:22:04,656 --> 00:22:08,118
(music playing)
516
00:22:08,160 --> 00:22:10,454
(phone ringing)
You gotta be kidding me.
517
00:22:10,495 --> 00:22:12,414
All right, lady, you win!
518
00:22:12,456 --> 00:22:13,707
Now where the hell
is Sam?
519
00:22:13,749 --> 00:22:16,918
Oh, my God,
I am so sick of Sam.
520
00:22:19,504 --> 00:22:21,506
Okay, okay.
521
00:22:21,548 --> 00:22:22,966
Either Boo-Boo
apologizes
522
00:22:23,008 --> 00:22:25,719
and gets very snuggly,
very quickly,
523
00:22:25,761 --> 00:22:28,513
or Soo-Soo is gonna squeeze
Boo-Boo's balls.
524
00:22:28,555 --> 00:22:30,057
And I guarantee,
you're not gonna like it.
525
00:22:33,143 --> 00:22:34,853
(groans)
526
00:22:36,646 --> 00:22:38,774
Boo-Boo,
what's the matter?
527
00:22:38,815 --> 00:22:40,984
I'm sorry.
528
00:22:40,984 --> 00:22:43,153
Did Boo-Boo take
all his vitamins today?
529
00:22:43,153 --> 00:22:45,113
Yeah, yeah.
530
00:22:48,450 --> 00:22:50,410
I just left something
at work.
531
00:22:50,452 --> 00:22:52,496
I have to
go to work, yeah.
532
00:22:52,537 --> 00:22:53,663
Ugh.
533
00:22:55,707 --> 00:22:57,876
At 11:30 at night?
534
00:23:04,007 --> 00:23:06,635
Okay, God,
I must be crazy.
535
00:23:20,982 --> 00:23:22,734
(moaning)
536
00:23:24,486 --> 00:23:25,904
Oh, fuck.
537
00:23:27,197 --> 00:23:28,782
Okay, but you'll process
that right away.
538
00:23:28,824 --> 00:23:30,033
Rush job.
539
00:23:30,033 --> 00:23:31,493
(man on phone)
I'll do my best.
540
00:23:31,535 --> 00:23:33,495
Maybe tomorrow.No promises.
541
00:23:33,537 --> 00:23:35,163
(knocking on door)
542
00:23:35,205 --> 00:23:37,582
Excuse me, Doctor,
your 1:00 p.m. is here.
543
00:23:37,624 --> 00:23:39,126
Okay, I'll be out
in a minute.
544
00:23:39,167 --> 00:23:41,128
(door closes)
545
00:23:41,169 --> 00:23:44,047
Just let me know as soon
as you hear something, okay?
546
00:23:44,047 --> 00:23:46,716
Melissa, come on,
where the hell is he?
547
00:23:46,716 --> 00:23:49,052
We have a very important
lunch meeting today.
548
00:23:49,094 --> 00:23:51,471
I've tried him on both lines,
Mr. Cavalo.
549
00:23:51,513 --> 00:23:52,764
Yes, and?
550
00:23:52,806 --> 00:23:54,182
And he hasn't answered,
551
00:23:54,224 --> 00:23:56,184
and he isn't answering
his e-mails either.
552
00:23:56,226 --> 00:23:57,894
I don't care what kind
of a bender he's on,
553
00:23:57,894 --> 00:23:59,479
it's just not like him.
554
00:23:59,521 --> 00:24:01,231
Well, he had a bachelor party
that he had to go to.
555
00:24:01,231 --> 00:24:03,733
I know, who do you think
got him the strippers?
556
00:24:03,733 --> 00:24:06,987
(mimicking gunfire)
557
00:24:07,028 --> 00:24:09,114
(mimics Italian accent)
Now you sleep with the fishes,
558
00:24:09,156 --> 00:24:11,908
Don Cheech.
(mimics explosion)
559
00:24:16,163 --> 00:24:18,832
Boo-Boo?
(grunts)
560
00:24:18,874 --> 00:24:20,250
What?
(sighs)
561
00:24:23,044 --> 00:24:26,256
Why couldn't you have
been a... chiropodist?
562
00:24:26,256 --> 00:24:28,049
What?
563
00:24:28,091 --> 00:24:30,218
You stare at it all day.
564
00:24:30,260 --> 00:24:33,013
And now you've lost
your sex drive!
565
00:24:33,054 --> 00:24:34,973
(sobbing)
566
00:24:38,059 --> 00:24:40,979
(man and woman moaning on TV)
567
00:24:46,943 --> 00:24:48,862
(Samantha moaning)
568
00:24:48,904 --> 00:24:52,949
"Okay, I have been called away
by a family emergency.
569
00:24:52,949 --> 00:24:57,120
"My cousin, Samantha,
is here to save the day.
570
00:24:57,120 --> 00:24:59,122
"She's got just as much
experience as me
571
00:24:59,164 --> 00:25:01,833
"and can cover my accounts
just as well as me
572
00:25:01,875 --> 00:25:07,130
"until I get back from...
573
00:25:07,130 --> 00:25:10,133
from..." no.
574
00:25:10,175 --> 00:25:11,885
"Till I get back."
575
00:25:13,803 --> 00:25:15,096
Huh.
576
00:25:15,138 --> 00:25:18,266
Cousin Samantha, huh?
577
00:25:18,308 --> 00:25:21,311
Well, as long as she's hot.
578
00:25:21,311 --> 00:25:22,687
(chuckling)
579
00:25:46,002 --> 00:25:48,129
Could I get some help
over here?
580
00:25:48,171 --> 00:25:49,881
Oh.
581
00:25:49,923 --> 00:25:51,633
Okay, all right.
582
00:26:13,780 --> 00:26:16,700
♪♪
583
00:26:19,369 --> 00:26:21,121
Morning, morning.
584
00:26:24,708 --> 00:26:26,751
Excuse me, can I help you?
585
00:26:26,793 --> 00:26:28,628
Margaret.
586
00:26:28,670 --> 00:26:31,339
Uh... do I know you?
587
00:26:31,381 --> 00:26:33,675
Right, um, indirectly.
588
00:26:33,717 --> 00:26:35,885
I am Sam Wellman's
cousin.
589
00:26:35,885 --> 00:26:37,178
Samantha.
590
00:26:37,220 --> 00:26:39,180
What a pleasure
to meet you.
591
00:26:39,222 --> 00:26:42,142
Sam has just told me so...
592
00:26:42,183 --> 00:26:45,061
Well, actually, he never
mentioned you at all.
593
00:26:45,061 --> 00:26:46,313
That didn't
come out right.
594
00:26:46,354 --> 00:26:48,231
Oh, no-no-no-no,
it's fine, um, see,
595
00:26:48,231 --> 00:26:52,152
Sam and I have a--
a very complex relationship.
596
00:26:52,193 --> 00:26:54,404
But look, I'm happy to help
out in his time of need.
597
00:26:54,446 --> 00:26:57,240
Okay, I hope everything is okay
with your family, I mean...
598
00:26:57,282 --> 00:27:00,410
Oh, yeah, yeah, I'm sure
everything will be just fine.
599
00:27:00,410 --> 00:27:02,871
Mm-hmm, I'm gonna
go see Mr. Cavalo.
600
00:27:02,912 --> 00:27:04,080
Sure, let me show you.
601
00:27:04,080 --> 00:27:07,083
No, it's fine,
I know... Sam.
602
00:27:07,083 --> 00:27:08,752
Right.
603
00:27:08,752 --> 00:27:11,087
Gonna do that dinner, though,
Margaret, I swear.
604
00:27:11,129 --> 00:27:13,632
(mouthing)
605
00:27:16,259 --> 00:27:19,137
Ah, Melissa, good.
606
00:27:19,179 --> 00:27:21,848
Samantha Wellman, Sam's fine,
everything's good.
607
00:27:21,890 --> 00:27:23,933
He will be back soon.
608
00:27:23,975 --> 00:27:25,143
Nice to meet you,
Miss Wellman.
609
00:27:25,185 --> 00:27:26,811
Oh, please, Mel.
610
00:27:26,853 --> 00:27:29,064
Sam, Samantha, Sam, just like
the other guy, cool?
611
00:27:29,105 --> 00:27:30,899
Yeah, up, up, come.
612
00:27:30,940 --> 00:27:33,985
Uh, go grab me that Lulu file
like a good girl, huh?
613
00:27:34,027 --> 00:27:35,236
Sure.
614
00:27:35,278 --> 00:27:36,946
You look great
in that dress, oof.
615
00:27:54,005 --> 00:27:55,298
(chuckling)
616
00:27:55,298 --> 00:27:57,008
Sam never told me
about you.
617
00:27:57,050 --> 00:27:59,135
And now I know why.
618
00:27:59,135 --> 00:28:01,846
Why?
Come on in.
619
00:28:01,888 --> 00:28:03,306
Can I offer you a drink?
620
00:28:03,306 --> 00:28:04,474
A Bloody Mary?
621
00:28:04,474 --> 00:28:06,184
Sit.
622
00:28:06,226 --> 00:28:10,188
So... Samantha.
623
00:28:10,230 --> 00:28:12,065
So... Seymour.
624
00:28:12,107 --> 00:28:13,817
Welcome to the family.
625
00:28:13,817 --> 00:28:15,110
Yeah, no.
626
00:28:15,151 --> 00:28:17,487
Um, why don't we talk
about the Lulu account?
627
00:28:17,529 --> 00:28:19,989
Sam has given me
a thorough briefing.
628
00:28:20,031 --> 00:28:21,908
Let's not talk
about business yet.
629
00:28:21,950 --> 00:28:24,828
We haven't even gotten
to know each other.
630
00:28:24,869 --> 00:28:26,329
Yeah, well, you know,
Sam's gonna be back
631
00:28:26,329 --> 00:28:28,164
before we know it,
so...
632
00:28:28,164 --> 00:28:30,500
I hope--
think, think.
633
00:28:30,500 --> 00:28:33,169
We gotta get to know
each other, right? Family.
634
00:28:33,169 --> 00:28:35,088
One of the family.
635
00:28:35,130 --> 00:28:37,173
(both chuckling)
636
00:28:37,215 --> 00:28:39,175
Do you know the first thing
I notice about a woman?
637
00:28:39,217 --> 00:28:42,220
Her ass?
Exa-- no.
638
00:28:42,262 --> 00:28:44,472
Her eyes.
639
00:28:44,514 --> 00:28:47,267
Oh, yeah, okay-- what?
640
00:28:47,308 --> 00:28:50,061
Our eyes are the windows
to our soul.
641
00:28:50,103 --> 00:28:54,399
And I can see that our windows
are connecting beautifully.
642
00:28:54,441 --> 00:28:56,192
Oh, oh, are they?
643
00:28:56,234 --> 00:29:00,280
You know, maybe you and I
should grab a bite.
644
00:29:00,321 --> 00:29:02,157
Dinner tonight.
645
00:29:02,198 --> 00:29:05,493
Oh, you know what? I can't--
I actually, I have plans.
646
00:29:05,535 --> 00:29:06,828
Cancel them.
647
00:29:06,870 --> 00:29:07,996
With my boyfriend.
648
00:29:08,037 --> 00:29:10,206
Invite him, bring him along.
649
00:29:10,248 --> 00:29:12,083
We can always
send him home early.
650
00:29:12,125 --> 00:29:15,420
Yeah, but, you know, it--
it's our anniversary.
651
00:29:15,462 --> 00:29:17,213
So three's a crowd
kind of a thing.
652
00:29:17,255 --> 00:29:18,840
Maybe tomorrow night.
Yeah, okay.
653
00:29:18,882 --> 00:29:20,049
So, yeah, no,
I actually, I gotta go.
654
00:29:20,091 --> 00:29:22,886
I'm gonna go,
I have to work.
655
00:29:22,886 --> 00:29:25,013
Work, work, work,
you know, see you, Sey.
656
00:29:25,054 --> 00:29:26,514
I'm gonna work.
657
00:29:26,556 --> 00:29:28,433
Work, work, work!
658
00:29:32,937 --> 00:29:35,106
Samantha, hi.
659
00:29:35,148 --> 00:29:37,233
Margaret.
660
00:29:37,233 --> 00:29:38,902
Everything go well
with Seymour?
661
00:29:38,943 --> 00:29:40,445
He can be
a little brusque.
662
00:29:40,487 --> 00:29:42,197
Yeah.
663
00:29:42,238 --> 00:29:43,573
Fine, just fine.
664
00:29:44,949 --> 00:29:46,201
Here.
665
00:29:46,242 --> 00:29:47,911
Here, let me help.
666
00:29:49,913 --> 00:29:53,082
You know, you just let me
know if there's anything
667
00:29:53,124 --> 00:29:55,084
I can do for you
during your stay with us.
668
00:29:55,126 --> 00:29:58,087
Thanks, Margaret,
thanks a million.
669
00:29:58,129 --> 00:30:00,465
Sam would want that,
don't you think?
670
00:30:00,507 --> 00:30:02,217
Yeah.
671
00:30:02,258 --> 00:30:04,928
Listen, you knew my name
when you came in.
672
00:30:04,969 --> 00:30:07,472
Sam must've...
talked about me.
673
00:30:07,514 --> 00:30:10,475
Did he?
Uh, yeah, yeah, he did.
674
00:30:10,517 --> 00:30:13,228
He said, um...
675
00:30:13,269 --> 00:30:15,396
"Margaret...
(clicks tongue)
676
00:30:15,438 --> 00:30:18,191
great gal."
677
00:30:18,233 --> 00:30:20,985
Uh, you have
a wonderful day.
678
00:30:23,112 --> 00:30:24,531
You too.
679
00:30:33,623 --> 00:30:34,999
(glasses clinking)
680
00:30:37,919 --> 00:30:41,130
Who are those for?
Sam?
681
00:30:41,130 --> 00:30:44,968
No, they're for you,
Soo-Soo.
682
00:30:45,009 --> 00:30:47,512
Twelve white roses
for "I'm sorry,"
683
00:30:47,554 --> 00:30:51,891
and one red rose
for "I love you."
684
00:30:51,933 --> 00:30:52,934
Thirteen?
685
00:30:58,648 --> 00:31:00,275
(chuckling)
686
00:31:07,115 --> 00:31:08,867
Here's to you,
Soo-Soo.
687
00:31:13,997 --> 00:31:15,498
Mmm.
688
00:31:17,250 --> 00:31:19,210
(cell phone ringing)
689
00:31:19,252 --> 00:31:21,421
No, no.
690
00:31:21,462 --> 00:31:22,922
Just...
Don't.
691
00:31:22,964 --> 00:31:24,048
...let me...
Don't.
692
00:31:24,090 --> 00:31:26,509
...check really quick.
See who it is.
693
00:31:26,509 --> 00:31:28,344
If that's Sam
and you answer it,
694
00:31:28,386 --> 00:31:30,179
we are so over.
695
00:31:33,391 --> 00:31:35,310
Johnny, did you get
the results?
696
00:31:35,351 --> 00:31:37,478
This is
the goddamnedest thing.
697
00:31:37,520 --> 00:31:39,022
I've never seen such
a spot-on correlation
698
00:31:39,063 --> 00:31:40,690
between male
and female DNA.
699
00:31:40,690 --> 00:31:44,027
What?
Ever.
700
00:31:44,027 --> 00:31:46,321
Ever.
Never.
701
00:31:46,362 --> 00:31:49,073
I've seen identical twins that
were nowhere near this close.
702
00:31:49,115 --> 00:31:52,076
But... how, um...
703
00:31:52,118 --> 00:31:54,203
Who do these
belong to anyway?
704
00:31:54,245 --> 00:31:57,040
Thanks, Johnny.
I owe you one.
705
00:32:00,001 --> 00:32:02,003
So, uh, what was that
all about?
706
00:32:02,045 --> 00:32:04,088
If I'm not being
too inquisitive.
707
00:32:04,130 --> 00:32:05,423
It's a long story.
708
00:32:07,717 --> 00:32:08,927
(exhales)
709
00:32:15,141 --> 00:32:17,560
Good, so write me a letter.
710
00:32:17,602 --> 00:32:19,020
Okay.
711
00:32:20,521 --> 00:32:22,231
(exhales)
712
00:32:22,273 --> 00:32:23,524
You son of a bitch.
713
00:32:23,566 --> 00:32:25,443
Okay.
714
00:32:30,657 --> 00:32:33,993
(banging on door)
715
00:32:35,578 --> 00:32:38,247
Okay, okay!
716
00:32:38,247 --> 00:32:39,999
Oh.
(coughs)
717
00:32:42,043 --> 00:32:44,087
(banging continues)
Okay, all right, all right.
718
00:32:44,087 --> 00:32:45,630
Keep your pants on!
719
00:32:47,548 --> 00:32:49,008
Ugh.
720
00:32:52,804 --> 00:32:54,305
Doc, Doc,
721
00:32:54,347 --> 00:32:55,431
did you hear?
722
00:32:55,431 --> 00:32:57,100
Yeah, oh, yeah, I heard.
723
00:32:57,100 --> 00:32:58,601
So now you believe me.
724
00:32:58,601 --> 00:32:59,686
I don't know what to believe.
725
00:32:59,727 --> 00:33:01,354
Yeah, but it was
a match, right?
726
00:33:01,396 --> 00:33:02,438
That's what the man said.
727
00:33:02,438 --> 00:33:04,732
Yes!
728
00:33:04,774 --> 00:33:06,776
Uh...
Oh.
729
00:33:06,818 --> 00:33:08,361
All right.
730
00:33:08,403 --> 00:33:11,447
I don't...
necessarily believe you.
731
00:33:11,447 --> 00:33:13,783
Okay, you dumb bastard,
what more proof do you need?
732
00:33:13,783 --> 00:33:17,286
But I don't necessarily think
that you're lying either.
733
00:33:17,286 --> 00:33:19,622
I just... Jesus.
734
00:33:20,790 --> 00:33:23,459
Yeah, well,
I've been busy, pal.
735
00:33:24,585 --> 00:33:26,754
That's what Sam always said.
736
00:33:26,796 --> 00:33:28,339
Said?
737
00:33:28,381 --> 00:33:30,258
Dude, I'm not dead.
I'm standing right here.
738
00:33:30,299 --> 00:33:33,011
Oh, God,
I need a drink, Jesus.
739
00:33:39,183 --> 00:33:43,312
Doc, you're my best friend.
740
00:33:43,354 --> 00:33:45,815
Actually, you're
my only friend.
741
00:33:45,857 --> 00:33:47,567
Doc, you gotta believe me.
742
00:33:47,608 --> 00:33:48,693
Man, you gotta
help me.
743
00:33:48,735 --> 00:33:52,739
I just-- I don't know
where to turn.
744
00:33:52,780 --> 00:33:55,158
I wanna...
745
00:33:55,158 --> 00:33:58,536
I wanna help you, Sam.
746
00:33:58,578 --> 00:34:00,163
Sam, that's a good start.
747
00:34:00,163 --> 00:34:01,748
But I don't know how.
748
00:34:01,789 --> 00:34:04,292
Well, goddamned
if I know!
749
00:34:06,419 --> 00:34:08,629
When did this happen?
750
00:34:08,671 --> 00:34:09,714
After the bachelor party.
751
00:34:09,756 --> 00:34:11,257
And what
did you say to me
752
00:34:11,299 --> 00:34:12,842
right when you left
the bachelor party?
753
00:34:12,884 --> 00:34:15,511
Mind your own
frickin' business.
754
00:34:15,511 --> 00:34:17,847
Shit.
Prick.
755
00:34:17,889 --> 00:34:20,349
So I go into this little shop
down in the Village,
756
00:34:20,349 --> 00:34:22,852
I talk to some
funny old dude.
757
00:34:22,894 --> 00:34:25,104
I go home, I wake up in
the morning, and I'm a chick.
758
00:34:25,146 --> 00:34:27,648
Do you remember
where this place was?
759
00:34:27,690 --> 00:34:29,400
Well, I don't know
exactly.
760
00:34:29,442 --> 00:34:31,611
Well, come on.
761
00:34:31,652 --> 00:34:33,196
Come on!
762
00:34:35,823 --> 00:34:36,824
(moans)
763
00:34:39,827 --> 00:34:42,246
(Doc)
So where's this magical shop?
764
00:34:42,288 --> 00:34:44,290
I'm telling you,
this is the street.
765
00:34:44,332 --> 00:34:45,666
Hmm.
766
00:34:45,708 --> 00:34:47,627
Sure.
767
00:34:47,668 --> 00:34:48,878
Um, excuse me.
768
00:34:48,920 --> 00:34:50,421
Hi, excuse me.
769
00:34:50,463 --> 00:34:52,256
I'm sorry, is there,
um, like a little
770
00:34:52,298 --> 00:34:54,550
bric-a-brac shop
on this street?
A what?
771
00:34:54,550 --> 00:34:56,552
You know, like, um, uh,
a shop with like
772
00:34:56,594 --> 00:34:58,262
a whole bunch
of old crap in it?
773
00:34:58,304 --> 00:35:00,348
(man)
In this neighborhood?
Yeah.
774
00:35:00,389 --> 00:35:01,724
Yeah, maybe like
50 years ago.
775
00:35:01,724 --> 00:35:03,684
You know what the rent
is like around here?
776
00:35:03,726 --> 00:35:04,811
(chuckles)
777
00:35:06,813 --> 00:35:08,397
(mocking)
"You know what the rent
is like around here?"
778
00:35:08,439 --> 00:35:10,274
Nah-nah.
779
00:35:10,316 --> 00:35:11,651
Bric-a-brac?
780
00:35:11,692 --> 00:35:12,860
Okay, okay, fine.
781
00:35:12,902 --> 00:35:14,779
Maybe it's not
this street.
782
00:35:14,821 --> 00:35:16,405
Maybe you're not Sam.
783
00:35:16,405 --> 00:35:18,533
I have patients in the morning,
and I'm gonna go.
784
00:35:18,574 --> 00:35:19,867
No, no, wait,
okay, wait, wait.
785
00:35:19,909 --> 00:35:23,412
Just... can we meet tomorrow
then... at our spot?
786
00:35:23,454 --> 00:35:24,580
You know what
I'm talking about?
787
00:35:24,622 --> 00:35:26,415
I do, but do you?
788
00:35:26,415 --> 00:35:28,251
Alice in Wonderland statue,
Central Park.
789
00:35:28,292 --> 00:35:30,211
Well?
790
00:35:30,253 --> 00:35:32,505
Dude, come on, deal?
791
00:35:35,258 --> 00:35:36,259
Cool.
792
00:35:54,902 --> 00:35:56,779
She even eats like him.
793
00:35:58,281 --> 00:36:00,408
(sighs)
794
00:36:00,449 --> 00:36:02,702
Why, you got a problem?
795
00:36:02,743 --> 00:36:04,328
You're a pig.
796
00:36:04,370 --> 00:36:07,540
Yeah, well... I'm hungry.
797
00:36:08,833 --> 00:36:11,210
(mouthful)
Hey, finished with that?
798
00:36:11,252 --> 00:36:12,295
No?
799
00:36:18,759 --> 00:36:19,927
All right, let's go
to your office.
800
00:36:19,969 --> 00:36:22,471
I want you
to examine me.
801
00:36:22,471 --> 00:36:23,806
What?!
802
00:36:23,848 --> 00:36:26,893
No! No.
Eww, no way!
803
00:36:26,934 --> 00:36:28,895
Maybe you can find
something.
804
00:36:28,936 --> 00:36:31,314
Like my cock.
805
00:36:31,314 --> 00:36:32,899
No.
806
00:36:32,940 --> 00:36:34,609
Why the hell not?
807
00:36:34,650 --> 00:36:37,236
Because it's weird,
that's why.
808
00:36:37,278 --> 00:36:39,572
I'm not looking
for your cock.
809
00:36:39,614 --> 00:36:42,283
I'll send you
a referral or something.
810
00:36:42,325 --> 00:36:45,661
I don't want another
gynecologist, I want you.
811
00:36:45,661 --> 00:36:48,372
You're my best friend.
Nice talking to you.
812
00:36:53,544 --> 00:36:55,338
(chuckling)
813
00:36:55,338 --> 00:36:57,340
My gynecologist.
814
00:36:57,381 --> 00:36:59,383
I hear he's very good.
815
00:37:04,513 --> 00:37:06,015
(indistinct chatter)
816
00:37:06,057 --> 00:37:08,517
(Sam)
Yo, Sey.
817
00:37:08,517 --> 00:37:12,021
Lulu, you are looking
lovely as usual.
818
00:37:12,063 --> 00:37:13,689
I'm sorry,
who are you?
819
00:37:13,731 --> 00:37:16,943
Oh, Lulu, this is
Sam's cousin, Samantha.
820
00:37:16,984 --> 00:37:18,444
She's just filing in
for Sam
821
00:37:18,486 --> 00:37:20,738
while he's off on
some little sabbatical.
822
00:37:20,780 --> 00:37:22,490
Family business.
823
00:37:22,531 --> 00:37:23,699
Oh.
824
00:37:23,699 --> 00:37:25,785
Oh, nothing serious.
Uh, but excuse me.
825
00:37:25,826 --> 00:37:29,580
I gotta take a leak--
a pee-- a pi-- um...
826
00:37:29,622 --> 00:37:31,791
gonna use
the little girl's room.
827
00:37:31,832 --> 00:37:33,042
(clicks tongue)
828
00:37:33,042 --> 00:37:35,795
She's quite a pistol,
that one.
829
00:37:35,836 --> 00:37:39,382
Seymour, that girl
needs a makeover.
830
00:37:39,382 --> 00:37:42,051
She cannot meet my new partner
looking like that.
831
00:37:42,093 --> 00:37:44,470
You're absolutely right.
I'll speak to her.
832
00:37:44,512 --> 00:37:46,639
You know,
she's not from New York.
833
00:37:46,681 --> 00:37:48,557
Oh, where is she from?
834
00:37:48,557 --> 00:37:50,393
Uh, she's from, uh...
835
00:37:50,434 --> 00:37:53,062
Um, actually, I don't know
where she's from.
836
00:37:53,062 --> 00:37:56,482
Well, just make sure she does
something with herself.
837
00:37:56,524 --> 00:37:59,735
Yes, darling.
And Seymour...
838
00:37:59,777 --> 00:38:02,363
you haven't forgotten
our little toys
839
00:38:02,405 --> 00:38:05,408
for our rendezvous
later tonight?
840
00:38:05,449 --> 00:38:09,620
Or else you will feel
the sting of my spatula.
841
00:38:09,662 --> 00:38:11,914
Ha-ha-ha, no, I...
(chuckling)
842
00:38:11,914 --> 00:38:13,416
I'm never without them.
843
00:38:13,416 --> 00:38:15,501
And besides, I love
the sting of your spatula.
844
00:38:15,543 --> 00:38:17,003
Mmm.
845
00:38:17,044 --> 00:38:19,505
I have got you trained
so well, don't I?
846
00:38:19,547 --> 00:38:21,340
Who's your little puppy?
847
00:38:21,382 --> 00:38:22,550
Mmm.
848
00:38:22,591 --> 00:38:23,968
(barks)
Oh.
849
00:38:24,010 --> 00:38:26,470
(laughing)
850
00:38:26,512 --> 00:38:28,347
Mmm.
851
00:38:30,641 --> 00:38:32,810
See you later.
Mm-hmm.
(barks)
852
00:38:38,607 --> 00:38:40,443
(exhales)
Samantha?
853
00:38:40,484 --> 00:38:42,528
Oh! Down.
Do what?
854
00:38:42,570 --> 00:38:43,779
(whispers)
Get down.
855
00:38:43,821 --> 00:38:46,699
Okay, um,
is this yours?
856
00:38:46,741 --> 00:38:49,368
Oh, yeah.
(chuckles)
857
00:38:49,410 --> 00:38:50,745
Damned earring.
858
00:38:50,786 --> 00:38:52,079
I don't know how the hell
they wear these things.
859
00:38:52,121 --> 00:38:54,665
Oh, they fall out
so easy.
860
00:38:54,707 --> 00:38:57,084
Listen, um, I know it's
sometimes rough starting
861
00:38:57,126 --> 00:39:00,421
a new job, but I think
you will like it here.
862
00:39:00,463 --> 00:39:04,592
Yeah, yeah, I'm, uh,
getting used to it already.
863
00:39:04,633 --> 00:39:08,929
I just... want you to know
that I'm here for you, okay?
864
00:39:08,971 --> 00:39:11,015
Thanks, Margaret.
Yeah, thanks a lot.
865
00:39:11,057 --> 00:39:13,809
You know, us girls gotta
stick together.
866
00:39:13,851 --> 00:39:16,604
Um, yeah.
867
00:39:16,645 --> 00:39:19,815
Listen, um, have you
heard from Sam?
868
00:39:19,815 --> 00:39:21,067
Sam?
869
00:39:21,108 --> 00:39:22,735
Oh, God,
are you okay?
870
00:39:22,777 --> 00:39:24,779
I mean, Samantha.
871
00:39:24,820 --> 00:39:27,823
Could I have a word
with you, please?
872
00:39:27,823 --> 00:39:29,116
Uh, yeah.
873
00:39:29,158 --> 00:39:31,577
Margaret.
874
00:39:33,579 --> 00:39:36,457
Thank you.
Gotcha.
875
00:39:36,499 --> 00:39:37,708
What's going on
around here?
876
00:39:37,750 --> 00:39:40,419
Oh, shit.
877
00:39:40,461 --> 00:39:42,963
You're beside yourself.
What's going on?
878
00:39:43,005 --> 00:39:44,715
I'm fine.
Everything's fine.
879
00:39:44,757 --> 00:39:48,594
Well, listen, we have this
very important presentation
880
00:39:48,636 --> 00:39:50,137
for Lulu coming up.
881
00:39:50,179 --> 00:39:52,681
Yeah, I know, I'm--
I'm working on it right now.
882
00:39:52,723 --> 00:39:54,850
Right, well, I need you
to do me a favor.
883
00:39:54,850 --> 00:39:56,852
I'd like you to go
see my friend, Al.
884
00:39:56,852 --> 00:40:00,689
He's a-- He's an image
consultant.
885
00:40:00,689 --> 00:40:02,066
Phew.
886
00:40:02,108 --> 00:40:04,026
You think I need
an image consultant?
887
00:40:04,068 --> 00:40:06,946
I mean, it couldn't hurt to let
him fix you up a little bit.
888
00:40:06,987 --> 00:40:08,906
I mean, on the company,
of course.
889
00:40:08,948 --> 00:40:11,742
Okay, if you-- That's what
you think that I need.
890
00:40:11,784 --> 00:40:13,202
I mean, come on.
891
00:40:13,244 --> 00:40:16,038
All women love
makeovers, right?
892
00:40:16,080 --> 00:40:18,958
I'm not all women,
believe me.
893
00:40:18,999 --> 00:40:21,127
Oh, believe me,
I believe you.
894
00:40:21,168 --> 00:40:22,962
I can see for myself.
895
00:40:23,003 --> 00:40:27,049
I mean, sometimes you seem
really tense, you know?
896
00:40:27,091 --> 00:40:28,467
Okay.
897
00:40:28,509 --> 00:40:30,719
What's a matter?
I give a great massage.
898
00:40:30,761 --> 00:40:32,596
Yeah, well,
you know, I...
899
00:40:32,638 --> 00:40:34,974
have very tender
muscles.
900
00:40:35,015 --> 00:40:37,101
(chuckling)
Tell me about it.
901
00:40:37,143 --> 00:40:39,061
I have a tender muscle
as we speak.
902
00:40:39,061 --> 00:40:40,604
Yeah, okay, so what--
903
00:40:40,646 --> 00:40:42,898
what kind of a makeover
were you thinking?
904
00:40:42,940 --> 00:40:46,026
Nah, just, you know,
maybe a little makeup.
905
00:40:46,068 --> 00:40:49,196
And hair and maybe
a little cleavage, you know.
906
00:40:49,238 --> 00:40:51,532
Something a little more
flattering down here.
907
00:40:51,574 --> 00:40:53,617
Okay, yeah,
goddamn it, Seymour.
908
00:40:53,659 --> 00:40:54,952
What?
909
00:40:54,994 --> 00:40:56,704
You're a frickin' octopus,
you know that?
910
00:40:56,745 --> 00:41:00,166
Samantha, that language
is very unladylike.
911
00:41:00,207 --> 00:41:02,877
Oh, yeah?
Who said I'm a lady, huh?
912
00:41:02,918 --> 00:41:04,086
Look, I know you're upset.
Come here.
913
00:41:04,128 --> 00:41:06,088
I just wanna
give you a hug.
914
00:41:06,130 --> 00:41:07,673
Hey, can I do
anything for you?
915
00:41:07,715 --> 00:41:09,675
Yeah, yeah, you can.
916
00:41:09,717 --> 00:41:11,594
You can get me
a frickin' gun.
917
00:41:11,594 --> 00:41:12,887
(Seymour chuckles)
Oh...
918
00:41:12,928 --> 00:41:14,597
Wow.
919
00:41:14,638 --> 00:41:16,015
Very sensitive.
920
00:41:16,056 --> 00:41:19,018
Clearly.
921
00:41:19,059 --> 00:41:20,102
How 'bout you?
922
00:41:20,102 --> 00:41:21,812
How 'bout me what?
923
00:41:21,854 --> 00:41:23,689
Are you tense?
924
00:41:23,731 --> 00:41:25,900
Loose as a goose,
Mr. Cavalo.
925
00:41:29,612 --> 00:41:30,779
Shame.
926
00:41:38,913 --> 00:41:40,539
(sighs)
927
00:41:40,581 --> 00:41:42,166
Yes, Miss,
what can I get you?
928
00:41:42,208 --> 00:41:44,084
Okay, uh, let's see,
929
00:41:44,126 --> 00:41:46,128
a pint and a shot
of whiskey, please.
930
00:41:46,128 --> 00:41:48,297
And, um, actually,
can you give me the whiskey
931
00:41:48,339 --> 00:41:50,508
while you pour the pint?
Certainly.
932
00:41:52,885 --> 00:41:55,221
You look like
you could use one.
933
00:41:55,262 --> 00:41:57,056
Here you go.
Enjoy.
934
00:41:59,934 --> 00:42:01,602
Oh.
935
00:42:01,644 --> 00:42:03,854
You know,
I just love a woman
936
00:42:03,896 --> 00:42:06,941
who knows how to drink
a drink.
937
00:42:06,982 --> 00:42:09,818
Are you ser-- seriously, dude,
just screw off, all right?
938
00:42:09,860 --> 00:42:11,570
You-- you don't have
to get nasty.
939
00:42:11,612 --> 00:42:13,822
I was gonna
buy you the next one.
940
00:42:13,822 --> 00:42:14,990
Maybe two.
941
00:42:14,990 --> 00:42:17,785
Okay, you know what?
Barkeep, here.
942
00:42:17,826 --> 00:42:18,869
Cancel the pint.
943
00:42:20,246 --> 00:42:21,830
Screw off, man.
944
00:42:21,830 --> 00:42:23,541
Your loss, baby.
945
00:42:29,255 --> 00:42:32,967
Hi, may I offer you
some scotch and sofa?
946
00:42:40,015 --> 00:42:41,267
Oh.
947
00:42:42,351 --> 00:42:43,852
(gasping)
948
00:42:43,852 --> 00:42:45,187
(Samantha shrieking)
949
00:42:48,649 --> 00:42:51,110
(doorbell buzzing)
950
00:42:51,151 --> 00:42:52,695
(Doc)
What is that?
951
00:42:52,736 --> 00:42:54,697
I'll get rid of whoever
it is, all right?
952
00:42:56,824 --> 00:42:58,117
(knocking on door)
953
00:42:58,158 --> 00:43:00,286
Yah! Yes?
954
00:43:00,327 --> 00:43:01,787
Jesus.
955
00:43:03,706 --> 00:43:04,873
Doc.
Oh, no.
956
00:43:04,915 --> 00:43:06,834
Please, no.
957
00:43:06,875 --> 00:43:08,002
I'm bleeding.
958
00:43:08,043 --> 00:43:09,336
Now is not a good time.
959
00:43:09,378 --> 00:43:13,173
I have been hemorrhaging
all night... down there.
960
00:43:14,300 --> 00:43:16,176
You're menstruating.
What?!
961
00:43:16,218 --> 00:43:18,220
You're having your period.
962
00:43:18,262 --> 00:43:19,888
I'm riding the cotton pony?!
963
00:43:19,930 --> 00:43:21,390
Andrew?
964
00:43:21,432 --> 00:43:22,975
Doesn't your colorful
friend realize
965
00:43:23,017 --> 00:43:24,685
that office hours
haven't begun?
966
00:43:24,727 --> 00:43:26,312
Doc, what am I gonna do?
967
00:43:26,353 --> 00:43:27,855
Buy yourself
some tampons.
968
00:43:27,896 --> 00:43:29,982
Oh, my God.
969
00:43:30,024 --> 00:43:31,358
Okay, you need
to leave right now.
970
00:43:31,400 --> 00:43:33,027
You need to-- you need
to get out of here.
971
00:43:33,068 --> 00:43:34,361
Andrew, you should
make her leave this instant.
972
00:43:34,403 --> 00:43:35,904
Oh, she's still bossing
you around, huh?
973
00:43:35,946 --> 00:43:38,073
Oh!
Andrew, I can't believe
974
00:43:38,115 --> 00:43:41,410
that you are letting this
creature talk to me like that.
975
00:43:41,410 --> 00:43:43,037
(mocking)
"Oh, Andrew, I can't believe
you're allowing
976
00:43:43,078 --> 00:43:44,413
this creature to talk
to me like that."
977
00:43:44,413 --> 00:43:46,749
Fuck you and the horse
that you rode in on.
978
00:43:46,749 --> 00:43:49,251
Please, please!
Do I have to throw you
out myself?
979
00:43:49,293 --> 00:43:51,337
Oh... try it, bitch.
980
00:43:51,378 --> 00:43:53,881
I am warning you,
I do kickboxing.
981
00:43:53,922 --> 00:43:55,257
(chuckling)
Chicks only hit chicks
982
00:43:55,299 --> 00:43:57,134
in the movies,
am I right?
983
00:43:59,345 --> 00:44:00,763
(gasping)
Yeah?
984
00:44:00,804 --> 00:44:03,390
Yeah!
Stop it, stop, stop!
985
00:44:03,432 --> 00:44:05,100
(shrieking)
Ah! Ow!
986
00:44:05,142 --> 00:44:07,019
Get off of me!
(grunting)
987
00:44:07,061 --> 00:44:09,146
(squealing)
988
00:44:09,188 --> 00:44:10,814
Ahh!
989
00:44:10,856 --> 00:44:12,107
(screaming)
990
00:44:12,149 --> 00:44:13,359
Stop!
991
00:44:13,400 --> 00:44:14,943
Get her off of me!
God!
992
00:44:14,985 --> 00:44:16,445
No!
993
00:44:16,487 --> 00:44:19,156
All right,
enough, enough!
994
00:44:19,198 --> 00:44:21,867
She started it!
She started it!
995
00:44:21,909 --> 00:44:24,703
Sam, I think
you better go.
996
00:44:24,745 --> 00:44:26,330
Sam?
997
00:44:26,372 --> 00:44:28,332
Did you just
call her Sam?
998
00:44:28,374 --> 00:44:31,126
Samantha, she's, uh...
Sam's cousin.
999
00:44:31,168 --> 00:44:32,336
Oh.
1000
00:44:32,378 --> 00:44:34,755
Oh, okay, well, this
makes perfect sense.
1001
00:44:34,797 --> 00:44:36,465
Shut up.
Why doesn't she go?
1002
00:44:36,465 --> 00:44:39,968
Because she is my fiancée.
1003
00:44:40,010 --> 00:44:42,763
And you are my...
patient.
1004
00:44:42,805 --> 00:44:45,474
Don't ever do this again.
1005
00:44:45,474 --> 00:44:47,142
Wait, no,
can we just...
1006
00:44:47,142 --> 00:44:48,394
Can we just talk
about this?
1007
00:44:48,435 --> 00:44:50,312
Later.
Well, wait,
but later-later,
1008
00:44:50,312 --> 00:44:53,148
or never-later?
Just... go.
1009
00:44:53,148 --> 00:44:54,858
Oh.
1010
00:44:54,900 --> 00:44:56,110
Wait.
1011
00:45:09,790 --> 00:45:12,334
Well, what am I supposed
to do with these?!
1012
00:45:20,342 --> 00:45:21,719
(elevator bell dings)
1013
00:45:31,186 --> 00:45:33,272
You're her to see
Mr. Blondell?
1014
00:45:33,313 --> 00:45:35,274
Yeah, yeah.
1015
00:45:35,315 --> 00:45:37,776
Okay,
he's with a client.
1016
00:45:37,818 --> 00:45:39,236
I gotta get back.
1017
00:45:45,159 --> 00:45:48,370
Whatever you do,
don't make a sound.
1018
00:45:48,412 --> 00:45:51,749
And don't touch
anything.
1019
00:45:53,333 --> 00:45:55,169
Okay.
(clicks tongue)
1020
00:46:02,342 --> 00:46:03,969
Mother, isn't it
just divine?
1021
00:46:04,011 --> 00:46:05,220
It's--
It's glorious.
1022
00:46:05,220 --> 00:46:07,806
Shall I wrap it?
Alexander?
1023
00:46:07,848 --> 00:46:10,184
I can see clear now that
my work is done here.
1024
00:46:10,225 --> 00:46:11,518
(all chuckling)
1025
00:46:11,560 --> 00:46:13,937
Thank you, Alexander.
You're wonderful.
1026
00:46:13,979 --> 00:46:16,315
Mwah, mwah.
1027
00:46:16,356 --> 00:46:18,484
Thank you.
Mwah, mwah.
1028
00:46:18,525 --> 00:46:21,111
Come on, honey,
you look gorgeous!
1029
00:46:23,030 --> 00:46:24,907
Oh, Marie,
pretty box.
1030
00:46:33,582 --> 00:46:35,292
Oh, and don't forget
the purse!
1031
00:46:44,426 --> 00:46:47,304
You're Samantha,
my 1:30.
1032
00:46:47,346 --> 00:46:49,306
Yeah, no.
1033
00:46:49,348 --> 00:46:51,517
No, I'm a...
1034
00:46:51,558 --> 00:46:53,352
I'm a--
I gotta go.
1035
00:46:53,393 --> 00:46:54,436
Come here.
1036
00:46:54,478 --> 00:46:56,313
Okay, look, pal--
1037
00:46:56,355 --> 00:46:57,856
I am not pal.
1038
00:46:57,898 --> 00:46:59,566
I am Alexander Blondell.
1039
00:46:59,608 --> 00:47:01,860
Cool, uh, look, Al--
1040
00:47:01,902 --> 00:47:03,987
Mr. Blondell.
1041
00:47:04,029 --> 00:47:08,242
Blondie.
Mr. Blondell.
1042
00:47:08,283 --> 00:47:10,869
Okay, well, this is
clearly a mistake.
1043
00:47:10,911 --> 00:47:12,204
I don't make mistakes.
1044
00:47:12,246 --> 00:47:14,623
I make miracles.
And, my dear,
1045
00:47:14,623 --> 00:47:17,459
you are in
desperate need of one.
1046
00:47:17,459 --> 00:47:20,963
Now come here.
I don't bite.
1047
00:47:20,963 --> 00:47:23,423
Unless you displease me.
(chuckles)
1048
00:47:27,970 --> 00:47:28,887
Turn around.
1049
00:47:32,516 --> 00:47:33,976
Gum.
1050
00:47:40,315 --> 00:47:42,401
Hmm...
1051
00:47:42,442 --> 00:47:45,153
Hmm.
Hmm.
1052
00:47:45,153 --> 00:47:47,030
Is--
No, det-det-det-det.
1053
00:47:47,072 --> 00:47:49,032
I'm evaluating you.
1054
00:47:49,074 --> 00:47:51,159
Skin, repulsive.
1055
00:47:51,201 --> 00:47:52,327
Nails,
oh, my God,
1056
00:47:52,369 --> 00:47:54,162
what are you
a migrant worker?
1057
00:47:54,162 --> 00:47:55,622
That hair.
1058
00:47:56,999 --> 00:47:59,167
Did you just throw up?
Mm.
1059
00:47:59,167 --> 00:48:02,004
I do believe that covers
the preliminaries.
1060
00:48:02,045 --> 00:48:03,505
Okay, cool,
so what's the deal then?
1061
00:48:03,547 --> 00:48:05,299
Did I pass or what?
(chuckling)
1062
00:48:05,340 --> 00:48:07,593
If you had passed, there would
be nothing for us to do.
1063
00:48:07,634 --> 00:48:08,677
(sighing)
1064
00:48:08,677 --> 00:48:10,262
My studio, tomorrow,
3:00 p.m.,
1065
00:48:10,304 --> 00:48:12,014
and let's do try
to be on time now.
1066
00:48:12,014 --> 00:48:14,141
Shall we?
1067
00:48:14,182 --> 00:48:17,227
Marie...
do something.
1068
00:48:23,066 --> 00:48:26,695
(Alexander)
Yes, there is such a thing
as an overheated balance.
1069
00:48:26,737 --> 00:48:28,322
Look at it!
1070
00:48:28,363 --> 00:48:30,699
No, I do not want puce.
I do not want pilot.
1071
00:48:30,699 --> 00:48:32,034
It's all--
It looks like a--
1072
00:48:32,034 --> 00:48:33,952
Entre, entre!
1073
00:48:33,994 --> 00:48:36,163
It looks like
a bad Picasso, really.
1074
00:48:36,204 --> 00:48:38,040
No, I don't mean to insult.
I know he's fantastic.
1075
00:48:38,040 --> 00:48:40,208
He's the one
who designed it, but I--
1076
00:48:40,250 --> 00:48:42,628
Oh, oh, my God.
1077
00:48:42,669 --> 00:48:44,421
I'll have to
call you back.
1078
00:48:44,463 --> 00:48:46,548
My 3:00 lump of clay
has arrived.
1079
00:48:48,091 --> 00:48:49,635
Be a dear,
put this on.
1080
00:48:51,219 --> 00:48:52,304
(sniffing)
1081
00:48:52,346 --> 00:48:54,389
Uh, yeah, man,
listen, uh,
1082
00:48:54,389 --> 00:48:56,391
I'm not here
for dance lessons.
1083
00:48:56,433 --> 00:48:59,102
Oh, honey, after 30 years
in choreography,
1084
00:48:59,144 --> 00:49:03,106
the last thing I want to do is
to give you a dance lesson.
1085
00:49:03,148 --> 00:49:07,736
I am here to teach you
to be a girl.
1086
00:49:07,778 --> 00:49:08,737
What?
Oh, you know,
1087
00:49:08,779 --> 00:49:10,364
pink ribbons
and petticoats.
1088
00:49:10,405 --> 00:49:11,615
Should I try bangs?
1089
00:49:11,657 --> 00:49:13,200
Let's bake brownies
and call boys.
1090
00:49:13,241 --> 00:49:14,743
You're kidding, right?
1091
00:49:14,743 --> 00:49:19,748
Oh, don't think of it as losing
your Quasimodo posture or...
1092
00:49:19,748 --> 00:49:21,208
that hair.
1093
00:49:21,249 --> 00:49:24,294
Think of it as gaining
a new sense of style.
1094
00:49:24,336 --> 00:49:25,671
Not to mention
a brand-new arsenal
1095
00:49:25,712 --> 00:49:28,006
in the war between
the sexes.
1096
00:49:28,048 --> 00:49:30,258
Yeah, see,
dude, uh,
1097
00:49:30,300 --> 00:49:32,052
my sexes are
warring enough, so...
1098
00:49:32,094 --> 00:49:33,053
Too-too-too-too-too...
No.
1099
00:49:33,095 --> 00:49:34,012
No.
No!
1100
00:49:41,812 --> 00:49:46,400
My "galdar" tells me
you like to wager.
1101
00:49:46,441 --> 00:49:48,193
I'm sorry, did you say
"galdar"?
1102
00:49:48,235 --> 00:49:52,406
Yes, it's like gaydar except
it reads women... flawlessly.
1103
00:49:52,447 --> 00:49:54,157
Hmm.
1104
00:49:54,199 --> 00:49:56,368
You like to bet.
1105
00:49:56,410 --> 00:49:57,786
Yeah, I mean,
I've, uh,
1106
00:49:57,828 --> 00:49:59,371
I've shuffled
a deck or two.
1107
00:49:59,413 --> 00:50:01,039
Well, I've got
a wager for you.
1108
00:50:01,081 --> 00:50:04,292
If after two weeks with me
you're not knocking them dead,
1109
00:50:04,334 --> 00:50:06,336
I'll pay you my fee.
1110
00:50:07,546 --> 00:50:09,047
All right, pal,
you're on.
1111
00:50:09,089 --> 00:50:11,133
Okay, I detect
a pattern here.
1112
00:50:11,174 --> 00:50:14,428
It's not pal, it's not dude,
it's Mr. Blondell.
1113
00:50:14,469 --> 00:50:17,431
M-I-S-T-E-R
B-L-O-N-D-E-L-L.
1114
00:50:17,472 --> 00:50:19,558
All right, whatever.
Now put this on.
1115
00:50:19,599 --> 00:50:21,810
No, dude, I--
I'm not wearing a tutu.
1116
00:50:21,810 --> 00:50:25,105
It is not a tutu,
now put it on.
1117
00:50:29,317 --> 00:50:31,403
Okay, fine, whatever.
1118
00:50:31,445 --> 00:50:33,405
Where do you want me
to put on the fucking tutu?
1119
00:50:36,241 --> 00:50:37,492
Oh, man.
1120
00:50:37,492 --> 00:50:39,661
You can wash your mouth out,
you little slut.
1121
00:50:39,703 --> 00:50:43,165
Anytime before Armageddon
will be fine.
1122
00:50:43,206 --> 00:50:45,375
Dude, seriously,
I'm not coming out in this.
1123
00:50:45,417 --> 00:50:48,420
Come out, come out,
whatever you are.
1124
00:50:55,677 --> 00:50:57,637
To the mirror.
1125
00:50:57,679 --> 00:51:00,432
To... the... mirror.
1126
00:51:00,474 --> 00:51:02,350
Tutu's creeping up
my butt.
1127
00:51:02,350 --> 00:51:04,186
Not a pleasant journey
for the Lycra, now is it?
1128
00:51:04,186 --> 00:51:06,354
Hands out of your leotard.
(sighing)
1129
00:51:08,356 --> 00:51:12,235
Look at yourself.
What do you see?
1130
00:51:12,277 --> 00:51:14,488
Um...
1131
00:51:14,529 --> 00:51:15,697
I don't know,
I see someone
1132
00:51:15,739 --> 00:51:17,783
who should've left
ten minutes ago?
1133
00:51:19,701 --> 00:51:21,369
I see beauty.
1134
00:51:21,411 --> 00:51:22,871
Just the very inkling
of it.
1135
00:51:22,913 --> 00:51:27,375
First little bud pushing
its head above the earth.
1136
00:51:27,417 --> 00:51:30,170
But it is there.
1137
00:51:30,212 --> 00:51:31,838
And for the next
two weeks,
1138
00:51:31,880 --> 00:51:37,219
you and I are going
to feed it and water it
1139
00:51:37,260 --> 00:51:40,472
and grow it into the most
magnificent flower
1140
00:51:40,514 --> 00:51:41,890
of feminine exquisiteness
1141
00:51:41,890 --> 00:51:45,143
since Audrey Hepburn had
her breakfast at Tiffany's.
1142
00:51:45,185 --> 00:51:48,396
And so,
my little gamine,
1143
00:51:48,438 --> 00:51:51,441
do you have the courage
to bloom?
1144
00:51:53,193 --> 00:51:55,779
Uh, um...
1145
00:51:55,821 --> 00:51:57,531
I don't know, would it make
a difference if I said no?
1146
00:51:57,572 --> 00:51:59,616
Absolutely not.
1147
00:51:59,658 --> 00:52:01,284
Let's get started.
1148
00:52:01,326 --> 00:52:05,205
♪♪
1149
00:52:08,542 --> 00:52:11,711
(music plays over conversation)
1150
00:52:11,753 --> 00:52:14,673
♪♪
1151
00:53:12,647 --> 00:53:13,732
(music ends)
1152
00:53:19,696 --> 00:53:22,532
All right, Mrs. Smith?
1153
00:53:36,630 --> 00:53:37,631
No.
1154
00:53:37,672 --> 00:53:39,841
Doc, you okay?
1155
00:53:39,841 --> 00:53:41,509
No.
Doc.
1156
00:53:41,551 --> 00:53:42,510
No.
Doc!
1157
00:53:42,552 --> 00:53:43,845
No.
1158
00:53:43,845 --> 00:53:44,930
Doc?
1159
00:53:47,390 --> 00:53:48,975
(Doc exhales)
1160
00:53:51,853 --> 00:53:53,939
Doc, please
just hear me out.
1161
00:53:53,980 --> 00:53:55,023
No.
1162
00:53:55,065 --> 00:53:57,859
Doc... please.
1163
00:53:59,569 --> 00:54:01,488
You have five minutes.
1164
00:54:01,529 --> 00:54:02,530
Well, I paid for an hour.
1165
00:54:02,572 --> 00:54:05,492
I'll reimburse you.
1166
00:54:05,533 --> 00:54:07,702
Four minutes, 50 seconds.
1167
00:54:07,744 --> 00:54:09,287
Why don't you start
by telling me
1168
00:54:09,329 --> 00:54:11,539
what the hell
you're doing in my office?
1169
00:54:11,539 --> 00:54:14,334
Well, I tried calling you.
I've tried e-mailing you.
1170
00:54:14,376 --> 00:54:15,919
It's been two weeks!
1171
00:54:15,961 --> 00:54:18,672
I was hoping
you'd get the message.
1172
00:54:18,713 --> 00:54:20,507
What message?
The message...
1173
00:54:20,548 --> 00:54:24,886
that my life was fine
before you happened!
1174
00:54:24,886 --> 00:54:26,388
And totally screwed
everything up.
1175
00:54:26,429 --> 00:54:27,681
Did you think
I was just gonna forget
1176
00:54:27,722 --> 00:54:30,350
how you nearly broke up
Cynthia and I?
1177
00:54:30,392 --> 00:54:33,311
Doc, we're dudes.
1178
00:54:33,353 --> 00:54:36,606
We fight, get drunk,
and then make up.
1179
00:54:36,648 --> 00:54:39,484
We are not dudes, Sam!
1180
00:54:39,526 --> 00:54:43,738
Only one of us is a dude!
That's the problem!
1181
00:54:43,738 --> 00:54:44,906
(exhales)
1182
00:54:44,948 --> 00:54:48,326
That's always going
to be the problem.
1183
00:54:48,368 --> 00:54:50,578
Don't you think that
I'm sick of this, too?
1184
00:54:50,578 --> 00:54:52,914
Hearing Alvin the Chipmunk
coming out of my mouth
1185
00:54:52,956 --> 00:54:54,624
every time I speak?
1186
00:54:54,666 --> 00:54:57,836
Having this face staring
back at me every morning!
1187
00:54:57,877 --> 00:55:01,715
Okay, relax,
it's not such a bad face.
1188
00:55:01,756 --> 00:55:03,550
Maybe you could
get used to it.
1189
00:55:03,591 --> 00:55:05,051
No, Doc, no.
1190
00:55:05,093 --> 00:55:06,594
I'm not gonna
get used to this.
1191
00:55:06,594 --> 00:55:08,888
I don't wanna live
this life anymore.
1192
00:55:08,930 --> 00:55:11,641
Hey, don't talk like that.
1193
00:55:11,683 --> 00:55:13,059
(exhales)
1194
00:55:13,101 --> 00:55:17,522
You know about-- about drugs
and hormone therapy
1195
00:55:17,564 --> 00:55:20,358
and all that, so...
1196
00:55:20,400 --> 00:55:22,027
I don't know, maybe
if I was a dude again,
1197
00:55:22,068 --> 00:55:25,405
then everything
would just be okay.
1198
00:55:25,447 --> 00:55:27,949
You know, maybe we could
go back to being friends.
1199
00:55:30,410 --> 00:55:32,704
You're serious.
As a heart attack.
1200
00:55:34,914 --> 00:55:36,458
What you're talking about
1201
00:55:36,499 --> 00:55:38,710
requires a lot more
than hormones.
1202
00:55:41,629 --> 00:55:42,714
How much more?
1203
00:55:42,756 --> 00:55:44,090
We're talking about
serious stuff.
1204
00:55:44,132 --> 00:55:46,634
I mean,
it's a full sex change.
1205
00:55:46,676 --> 00:55:49,471
Major, major stuff.
1206
00:55:49,512 --> 00:55:50,972
How major we talking?
1207
00:56:05,028 --> 00:56:06,571
You okay?
1208
00:56:09,449 --> 00:56:10,825
You sure you wanna do this?
1209
00:56:14,037 --> 00:56:16,039
Give it some time, okay?
1210
00:56:16,081 --> 00:56:17,999
Take a minute.
1211
00:56:17,999 --> 00:56:22,087
How about we-- we just...
think it over and--
1212
00:56:26,841 --> 00:56:28,426
Okay.
1213
00:56:28,468 --> 00:56:31,388
Let's just keep this between
the two of us, all right?
1214
00:56:33,640 --> 00:56:35,016
Mum's the word, pal.
1215
00:56:38,478 --> 00:56:40,688
You know, I am--
I'm starving.
1216
00:56:40,730 --> 00:56:41,940
Wanna grab a bite?
1217
00:56:43,525 --> 00:56:45,193
And the man at the store
insisted that the ring
1218
00:56:45,193 --> 00:56:47,112
was two carats, but I swear it
was a carat and a half at most,
1219
00:56:47,153 --> 00:56:48,863
and I wanted it yellow
backed, anyway.
1220
00:56:48,905 --> 00:56:50,990
Oh, I got it done
to go with the veil.
1221
00:56:51,032 --> 00:56:52,200
I mean, I would always
get lost in that kind
of a dress, you know?
1222
00:56:52,200 --> 00:56:55,036
Oh, my God.
What?
1223
00:56:55,078 --> 00:56:57,997
I understood them.
Who?
1224
00:56:58,039 --> 00:56:59,749
Them.
1225
00:56:59,791 --> 00:57:01,501
I understood what
they said, I--
1226
00:57:01,543 --> 00:57:05,130
Doc, I speak woman.
Uh, is it "womanese"?
1227
00:57:05,171 --> 00:57:06,214
(fork clanks)
1228
00:57:06,214 --> 00:57:07,715
Okay, you know what?
Five bucks.
1229
00:57:07,715 --> 00:57:09,050
Five bucks says
I know what they said.
1230
00:57:09,092 --> 00:57:11,052
Yeah?
You're on.
1231
00:57:11,094 --> 00:57:12,595
What'd they say?
1232
00:57:22,147 --> 00:57:23,898
(scoffs)
1233
00:57:23,898 --> 00:57:26,192
(indistinct chatter)
1234
00:57:26,234 --> 00:57:29,529
Excuse me, I--
ladies, I'm sorry,
1235
00:57:29,571 --> 00:57:30,697
I don't mean
to be rude.
1236
00:57:30,738 --> 00:57:31,865
I kinda have a bet
going with a friend,
1237
00:57:31,906 --> 00:57:33,241
and I just wanted
to ask you guys,
1238
00:57:33,283 --> 00:57:35,785
are you talking about
matching a yellow diamond
1239
00:57:35,827 --> 00:57:37,537
with a--
a blue veil?
1240
00:57:37,579 --> 00:57:39,122
As a matter of fact,
we were, but--
1241
00:57:39,164 --> 00:57:41,082
Who the hell told
you that anyway?
1242
00:57:42,917 --> 00:57:44,210
Him.
1243
00:57:46,129 --> 00:57:47,755
(both)
Check, please!
1244
00:57:56,723 --> 00:57:59,851
Where'd you learn
to eat like that?
1245
00:57:59,893 --> 00:58:00,810
Been taking lessons.
1246
00:58:06,774 --> 00:58:10,111
It's really good to see you
smile for a change.
1247
00:58:10,111 --> 00:58:12,655
(chuckles)
1248
00:58:12,697 --> 00:58:15,658
So, am I allowed to ask
about you and you-know-who?
1249
00:58:15,700 --> 00:58:16,618
No.
(slams fork)
1250
00:58:19,871 --> 00:58:21,664
We're fine, okay?
1251
00:58:22,957 --> 00:58:24,125
She's fine.
1252
00:58:24,125 --> 00:58:25,710
That good, huh?
1253
00:58:25,752 --> 00:58:28,046
Okay, okay, okay, I'm--
look, I'm behaving.
1254
00:58:28,087 --> 00:58:29,297
This is me behaving.
1255
00:58:31,799 --> 00:58:33,718
What?
1256
00:58:33,760 --> 00:58:35,261
Nothing.
1257
00:58:35,303 --> 00:58:37,055
(clearing throat)
1258
00:58:38,973 --> 00:58:39,974
Um...
1259
00:58:40,016 --> 00:58:42,644
(clearing throat)
1260
00:58:42,644 --> 00:58:45,313
In the office, uh,
1261
00:58:45,313 --> 00:58:47,649
did you really mean
what you said about me
1262
00:58:47,690 --> 00:58:49,651
not looking so bad?
1263
00:58:49,692 --> 00:58:51,194
Fishing for compliments?
1264
00:58:51,236 --> 00:58:52,153
Whatever, forget it.
1265
00:58:54,614 --> 00:58:56,241
I...
1266
00:58:56,282 --> 00:58:58,785
I, uh, meant
what I said.
1267
00:58:58,826 --> 00:59:02,830
You look... pretty okay.
1268
00:59:04,791 --> 00:59:07,669
I look pretty okay
or I look pretty, okay?
1269
00:59:07,669 --> 00:59:09,254
You know what I mean.
1270
00:59:09,295 --> 00:59:12,840
And for the record, you don't
sound like Alvin the Chipmunk.
1271
00:59:13,883 --> 00:59:16,135
I don't, really?
1272
00:59:16,177 --> 00:59:20,807
Theodore, maybe.
(laughing)
1273
00:59:23,142 --> 00:59:25,687
Hey, um...
1274
00:59:25,687 --> 00:59:29,107
I need you to explain
something to me.
1275
00:59:29,148 --> 00:59:31,276
The doctor is in.
1276
00:59:31,317 --> 00:59:33,653
I, uh...
1277
00:59:33,695 --> 00:59:35,238
I need you
to explain to me
1278
00:59:35,280 --> 00:59:39,242
why there is nothing
happening down there.
1279
00:59:39,284 --> 00:59:41,035
You skipped your period.
1280
00:59:41,035 --> 00:59:42,620
What?
Oh, my God.
1281
00:59:42,662 --> 00:59:45,331
No, no-no-no-no-no,
no, no, no.
1282
00:59:45,373 --> 00:59:47,166
I, um...
1283
00:59:47,208 --> 00:59:50,169
you know, there's
nothing... happening.
1284
00:59:50,211 --> 00:59:52,171
What?
Oh, God.
1285
00:59:52,213 --> 00:59:54,173
You know, I look
at girls, nothing.
1286
00:59:54,215 --> 00:59:56,718
I look at guys, nothing.
I look at porn, nothing.
1287
00:59:57,844 --> 00:59:59,679
So, what am I, frigid?
1288
00:59:59,721 --> 01:00:01,222
Do I have some kind
of mental problems?
1289
01:00:01,222 --> 01:00:02,890
I mean...
1290
01:00:02,932 --> 01:00:05,685
I don't know, I feel like
a fucking female eunuch.
1291
01:00:07,729 --> 01:00:09,397
What?! What?
A little louder.
1292
01:00:09,439 --> 01:00:11,649
I don't think they heard you
in Cleveland.
1293
01:00:11,691 --> 01:00:13,901
Look...
1294
01:00:13,943 --> 01:00:15,737
it's complex.
1295
01:00:15,778 --> 01:00:17,280
Complex?
1296
01:00:17,322 --> 01:00:18,740
You touch 'em
in the right spot,
1297
01:00:18,740 --> 01:00:19,824
they get hot.
1298
01:00:19,866 --> 01:00:21,743
Some women can achieve
full arousal
1299
01:00:21,784 --> 01:00:24,120
as quickly as men.
Most can't.
1300
01:00:24,162 --> 01:00:25,913
Yeah, but that's
just plumbing.
1301
01:00:25,955 --> 01:00:29,083
It takes them
a little longer to warm up,
1302
01:00:29,083 --> 01:00:31,252
but with me, there's just
like nothing happening.
1303
01:00:31,294 --> 01:00:32,795
Women have
a completely different
1304
01:00:32,837 --> 01:00:34,380
mind-body connection
than men.
1305
01:00:34,422 --> 01:00:36,341
Their arousal
is more subtle.
1306
01:00:36,382 --> 01:00:38,343
It's more intricate.
1307
01:00:38,384 --> 01:00:41,721
Which, translated from New Age
psychobabble, means what?
1308
01:00:41,763 --> 01:00:43,973
They have to really like
the person they're with
1309
01:00:44,015 --> 01:00:45,391
to feel fully aroused.
1310
01:00:45,433 --> 01:00:48,102
Let's face it,
women are complicated.
1311
01:00:48,102 --> 01:00:50,188
Yeah,
you're telling me.
1312
01:00:50,229 --> 01:00:51,939
(cell phone ringing)
1313
01:00:53,274 --> 01:00:54,317
Oh, shoot.
1314
01:00:55,777 --> 01:00:57,445
The office.
1315
01:00:57,445 --> 01:00:59,697
Meeting got pushed up.
I gotta go.
1316
01:01:02,408 --> 01:01:04,202
No.
1317
01:01:04,243 --> 01:01:05,912
What's wrong?
1318
01:01:05,953 --> 01:01:07,330
Can-- um...
1319
01:01:07,372 --> 01:01:08,915
Can I just
call you later
1320
01:01:08,956 --> 01:01:12,126
and maybe talk more
about the issue?
1321
01:01:12,126 --> 01:01:13,336
Sure.
1322
01:01:13,378 --> 01:01:16,881
Just, uh, remember
to stay out of trouble.
1323
01:01:16,923 --> 01:01:18,424
Promise.
1324
01:01:18,466 --> 01:01:20,134
Cross my tits
and hope to die.
1325
01:01:20,176 --> 01:01:22,387
(clicks tongue,
chuckling)
1326
01:01:22,428 --> 01:01:23,721
See ya.
1327
01:01:36,317 --> 01:01:39,195
You look so nice, Samantha.
(chuckling)
1328
01:01:39,237 --> 01:01:41,948
Thanks, Margaret.
So do you.
1329
01:01:41,989 --> 01:01:44,242
Okay, they're waiting for you
in the conference room.
1330
01:01:44,283 --> 01:01:46,244
I punched up the graphics
in the proposal.
1331
01:01:46,285 --> 01:01:48,037
Added some extras.
1332
01:01:49,455 --> 01:01:51,290
Wow.
1333
01:01:51,332 --> 01:01:52,834
Nice work, Margaret.
1334
01:01:52,834 --> 01:01:55,378
(chuckling)
1335
01:01:55,420 --> 01:01:59,006
(quietly chatting)
1336
01:01:59,006 --> 01:02:01,843
Well, she certainly
cleans up nicely.
1337
01:02:01,843 --> 01:02:03,344
You look...
1338
01:02:03,344 --> 01:02:04,846
Stunning.
1339
01:02:04,887 --> 01:02:07,765
I-- I mean stun-ning.
1340
01:02:07,807 --> 01:02:10,017
Uh, come over here
and sit next to Seymour.
1341
01:02:10,059 --> 01:02:13,062
I'm fine
right over here.
1342
01:02:13,104 --> 01:02:17,358
Allow me to introduce
my joint venture partner,
1343
01:02:17,358 --> 01:02:19,277
Jean Georges Verham.
1344
01:02:19,318 --> 01:02:21,154
Le Count l'Écossais.
1345
01:02:22,447 --> 01:02:23,906
Exquisite.
1346
01:02:23,948 --> 01:02:25,533
It is truly my pleasure.
1347
01:02:25,533 --> 01:02:27,326
Um, uh, thank you.
1348
01:02:27,368 --> 01:02:31,038
Have you ever beheld
the Seine at night?
1349
01:02:31,038 --> 01:02:34,834
The bridges alight.
A place for lovers.
1350
01:02:34,876 --> 01:02:36,919
Well, you're in Manhattan now,
Jean Georges.
1351
01:02:36,961 --> 01:02:40,798
Yes, can we please begin
the presentation, please?
1352
01:02:40,840 --> 01:02:44,802
Perhaps we could meet
a bit later?
1353
01:02:44,844 --> 01:02:46,554
Oh, you know, um...
1354
01:02:46,554 --> 01:02:48,222
I'm-- I'm very busy
right now.
1355
01:02:48,264 --> 01:02:50,558
My schedule is just
filling up very rapidly.
1356
01:02:50,600 --> 01:02:53,436
Hmm, quel dommage,ma petite.
1357
01:02:54,854 --> 01:02:56,939
(Lulu)
Samantha, as I recall,
1358
01:02:56,981 --> 01:03:00,234
you had some wonderful ideas
about our Internet campaign?
1359
01:03:00,276 --> 01:03:02,570
Oh, yes.
1360
01:03:02,612 --> 01:03:03,946
And before I begin,
1361
01:03:03,988 --> 01:03:05,573
I would like to just say
thank you
1362
01:03:05,615 --> 01:03:07,492
to Margaret
for all the wonderful work
1363
01:03:07,533 --> 01:03:09,243
that she did
on these reports.
1364
01:03:11,496 --> 01:03:13,873
Now, as you can see
from this chart,
1365
01:03:13,915 --> 01:03:17,251
the models that we used
on this season's online campaign
1366
01:03:17,251 --> 01:03:22,173
scored highest between
the ages of 34 and 44.
1367
01:03:22,215 --> 01:03:24,008
And the numbers start
to lessen as we...
1368
01:03:24,050 --> 01:03:26,052
(Lulu)
Seymour, darling,
1369
01:03:26,093 --> 01:03:29,096
if you do not
remove your nose
1370
01:03:29,096 --> 01:03:31,098
from Samantha's
admittedly
1371
01:03:31,098 --> 01:03:33,851
attractive derriere
immediately...
1372
01:03:33,893 --> 01:03:35,895
(clearing throat)
1373
01:03:35,937 --> 01:03:39,941
I will not be tying you up
or spanking you tonight,
1374
01:03:39,982 --> 01:03:42,276
or any other night,
1375
01:03:42,318 --> 01:03:45,488
and you will lose
my account.
1376
01:03:45,530 --> 01:03:47,365
Are we perfectly clear?
1377
01:03:47,406 --> 01:03:48,449
Perfectly clear.
1378
01:03:48,491 --> 01:03:50,535
Oh, good.
Mwah.
1379
01:03:50,576 --> 01:03:53,454
(Sam)
...certain things that
are gonna get men's attention.
1380
01:03:53,496 --> 01:03:54,539
Great.
1381
01:03:54,580 --> 01:03:56,624
Fabulous.
1382
01:03:56,624 --> 01:03:58,584
Gorgeous.
1383
01:03:58,626 --> 01:04:00,461
An excellent
presentation, Sam.
1384
01:04:00,503 --> 01:04:01,587
May I call you Sam?
1385
01:04:01,629 --> 01:04:03,548
I prefer it,
actually.
1386
01:04:03,589 --> 01:04:06,384
We will be in touch
about the details.
1387
01:04:06,425 --> 01:04:08,135
I look forward to it.
1388
01:04:08,135 --> 01:04:11,514
I think this calls
for a little promotion.
1389
01:04:11,556 --> 01:04:13,224
We'll go over the specifics
in my office.
1390
01:04:13,266 --> 01:04:15,476
Cocktails mandatory.
1391
01:04:15,476 --> 01:04:17,270
How about we skip
the cocktails
1392
01:04:17,311 --> 01:04:19,981
and settle on a 20% raise?
Huh?
1393
01:04:20,022 --> 01:04:21,649
Well, then I would be
earning as much as Sam
1394
01:04:21,691 --> 01:04:24,026
for doing the exact same job.
Yeah, well, that's--
1395
01:04:24,068 --> 01:04:27,154
A raise, I think
that's a capital idea.
1396
01:04:27,196 --> 01:04:29,156
And a bonus, too.
1397
01:04:29,198 --> 01:04:31,993
I mean, after all,
she's earned it, hasn't she?
1398
01:04:31,993 --> 01:04:34,620
I suppose we could do
a bonus, but...
1399
01:04:34,662 --> 01:04:36,414
Seymour...
1400
01:04:36,455 --> 01:04:39,166
remember our little
understanding, don't you?
1401
01:04:39,166 --> 01:04:40,501
Uh, of course.
1402
01:04:40,501 --> 01:04:43,337
Everything's perfectly clear,
my little tigress.
1403
01:04:43,337 --> 01:04:45,256
Mmm...
1404
01:04:45,298 --> 01:04:47,133
Meow, baby.
1405
01:04:47,174 --> 01:04:49,176
(chuckling)
1406
01:04:53,347 --> 01:04:57,143
I think a raise this big
deserves a hug.
1407
01:04:58,644 --> 01:05:01,522
Ah, you don't know
what you're missing.
1408
01:05:01,522 --> 01:05:04,191
Oh, I'm pretty sure
I do.
1409
01:05:05,276 --> 01:05:07,194
And another thing.
1410
01:05:07,194 --> 01:05:10,364
That promotion,
it's going to Margaret.
1411
01:05:10,364 --> 01:05:12,366
Huh? It is?
1412
01:05:12,366 --> 01:05:14,660
Yeah, she earned it.
1413
01:05:14,702 --> 01:05:16,370
Actually, she should've
gotten it three years ago,
1414
01:05:16,412 --> 01:05:17,663
but you and Sam
were too busy
1415
01:05:17,705 --> 01:05:20,374
stealing all of her ideas
to give it to her.
1416
01:05:20,416 --> 01:05:23,210
I don't know
about that.
1417
01:05:23,252 --> 01:05:24,378
I do.
1418
01:05:24,378 --> 01:05:26,213
And I'm sure Lulu
would love to hear
1419
01:05:26,255 --> 01:05:29,508
about Margaret's contributions
over the years.
1420
01:05:29,550 --> 01:05:32,553
You would do that?
1421
01:05:32,553 --> 01:05:34,931
Us girls have
to stick together.
1422
01:05:37,725 --> 01:05:38,726
Uh...
1423
01:05:40,603 --> 01:05:42,063
Samantha.
1424
01:05:42,104 --> 01:05:43,522
Hey, Margaret.
1425
01:05:43,564 --> 01:05:45,274
You know, you didn't need
to say that about me
1426
01:05:45,316 --> 01:05:48,027
in the meeting
and to Mr. Cavalo.
1427
01:05:48,069 --> 01:05:50,321
Actually, I did.
1428
01:05:50,363 --> 01:05:52,531
I don't know how
to thank you.
1429
01:05:52,573 --> 01:05:56,494
Just... keep doing
what you're doing.
1430
01:05:56,535 --> 01:05:59,580
Um, I have a favor.
Maybe I shouldn't ask.
1431
01:05:59,580 --> 01:06:01,415
No, of course, of course,
anything.
1432
01:06:01,457 --> 01:06:04,168
Um... if you speak
with your cousin,
1433
01:06:04,210 --> 01:06:06,420
would you tell him
something for me?
1434
01:06:06,420 --> 01:06:08,214
Of course.
1435
01:06:08,255 --> 01:06:10,007
Would you tell him
that, you know,
1436
01:06:10,049 --> 01:06:14,470
I think about him every day
and... I really miss him.
1437
01:06:14,512 --> 01:06:15,763
You do?
1438
01:06:15,763 --> 01:06:18,224
Sure, he's a--
he's a really great guy.
1439
01:06:18,265 --> 01:06:21,769
(chuckles)
He was? Is?
1440
01:06:21,811 --> 01:06:24,188
Yeah, uh...
1441
01:06:24,230 --> 01:06:27,149
Tell you the truth, I have
the worst crush on him.
1442
01:06:27,191 --> 01:06:31,570
And, um,
why is that?
1443
01:06:31,612 --> 01:06:35,574
He played like he didn't care
about anyone special, but...
1444
01:06:35,616 --> 01:06:38,077
I knew it was
just an act.
1445
01:06:38,119 --> 01:06:40,454
Deep down, he has
a really romantic heart.
1446
01:06:40,454 --> 01:06:42,707
A girl can just see
these things.
1447
01:06:42,748 --> 01:06:44,500
Oh, and please,
don't tell him
1448
01:06:44,542 --> 01:06:47,169
I said that about
the romantic stuff.
1449
01:06:47,211 --> 01:06:49,672
And thanks again.
1450
01:06:49,714 --> 01:06:51,507
Of course.
1451
01:07:13,404 --> 01:07:15,573
Mmm.
1452
01:07:18,659 --> 01:07:20,202
Mmm.
1453
01:07:20,244 --> 01:07:22,830
That feels good, Sam.
1454
01:07:24,331 --> 01:07:27,293
Sam?
Mm.
1455
01:07:31,464 --> 01:07:33,174
What is it, Soo-Soo?
1456
01:07:33,174 --> 01:07:36,177
You-- you just
called me Sam.
1457
01:07:36,218 --> 01:07:37,678
No, I didn't.
1458
01:07:37,720 --> 01:07:40,556
Yes, you most certainly did.
1459
01:07:40,598 --> 01:07:43,684
What the-- what the hell
is going on right now?
1460
01:07:43,684 --> 01:07:46,687
What are you talking about?
1461
01:07:46,687 --> 01:07:48,522
Is it that cousin of his?
1462
01:07:48,522 --> 01:07:50,858
That little tramp
that showed up here
1463
01:07:50,900 --> 01:07:53,444
faking her period?
She wasn't faking it.
1464
01:07:53,486 --> 01:07:55,196
Oh, so now
you're defending her?
1465
01:07:55,196 --> 01:07:56,489
No, what, I--
1466
01:07:56,530 --> 01:07:58,532
You're-- That's not
what I said, I--
1467
01:07:58,532 --> 01:08:00,701
Oh, my God.
1468
01:08:00,701 --> 01:08:03,120
Oh, my God,
you're gay!
1469
01:08:03,162 --> 01:08:04,872
(gasping)
1470
01:08:04,872 --> 01:08:07,124
What?!
That's it!
1471
01:08:07,166 --> 01:08:09,710
I've been a perfect fool.
1472
01:08:09,710 --> 01:08:13,297
You and Mr. Sleazebag have
been having a secret affair
1473
01:08:13,339 --> 01:08:14,840
behind my back,
and all this time
1474
01:08:14,882 --> 01:08:17,259
I thought
you were straight!
1475
01:08:17,301 --> 01:08:18,469
Oh, my God!
1476
01:08:18,511 --> 01:08:21,222
Oh, my God!
(panting)
1477
01:08:21,263 --> 01:08:22,431
Oh, my God.
1478
01:08:22,473 --> 01:08:25,684
You, you might be
one really good actor,
1479
01:08:25,726 --> 01:08:29,230
but you are one lousy
human being.
1480
01:08:29,230 --> 01:08:31,524
I'm straight.
1481
01:08:31,565 --> 01:08:32,858
Can we just
talk this over?
1482
01:08:32,900 --> 01:08:34,902
There's nothing
to talk about.
1483
01:08:34,944 --> 01:08:36,237
Good-bye!
1484
01:08:37,571 --> 01:08:39,156
Don't be like this!
1485
01:08:39,198 --> 01:08:40,658
You're making things up.
1486
01:08:40,699 --> 01:08:42,701
Oh.
Can we just communicate?
1487
01:08:42,743 --> 01:08:44,370
What--
Sit down for a second.
1488
01:08:44,411 --> 01:08:46,205
We'll talk--
You make me sick!
1489
01:08:47,790 --> 01:08:49,667
Get over yourself,
man.
1490
01:08:55,589 --> 01:08:56,924
Soo-Soo...
(ring clatters to floor)
1491
01:08:56,924 --> 01:08:58,843
Boo-Boo is sorry.
1492
01:09:00,219 --> 01:09:01,720
(ring clatters to floor)
1493
01:09:06,433 --> 01:09:07,685
Shit.
1494
01:09:15,526 --> 01:09:18,279
So how bad
a fight was it?
1495
01:09:18,279 --> 01:09:20,781
I didn't say
we had a fight.
1496
01:09:20,781 --> 01:09:22,366
You didn't have to.
1497
01:09:22,408 --> 01:09:25,202
You got that
post-fight look.
1498
01:09:25,244 --> 01:09:27,538
Droopy shoulders, a little
mopey around the edges.
1499
01:09:27,580 --> 01:09:30,541
Sam, I don't wanna
talk about it.
1500
01:09:30,583 --> 01:09:32,501
All right, fine, man,
suit yourself.
1501
01:09:35,880 --> 01:09:38,257
Hey, dude.
1502
01:09:38,299 --> 01:09:39,842
What about me?
1503
01:09:39,884 --> 01:09:41,468
What about you?
1504
01:09:41,468 --> 01:09:42,678
Well, I might be
a few pounds lighter,
1505
01:09:42,720 --> 01:09:43,971
but I can still catch
a football.
1506
01:09:44,013 --> 01:09:47,433
Sam, we don't play
tackle football with women.
1507
01:09:47,474 --> 01:09:48,684
End of discussion.
1508
01:09:48,726 --> 01:09:50,436
Dude, I still got
the chops, come--
1509
01:09:50,477 --> 01:09:51,854
Case closed.
1510
01:09:53,898 --> 01:09:54,940
Sexist pig.
1511
01:09:54,982 --> 01:09:56,859
I heard that.
1512
01:10:04,325 --> 01:10:05,951
Ready?
Yeah, I guess so.
1513
01:10:05,993 --> 01:10:09,496
All right, guys,
let's play some football!
1514
01:10:09,496 --> 01:10:10,664
Yeah, this chick--
1515
01:10:10,664 --> 01:10:11,665
Her name's Samantha.
1516
01:10:11,707 --> 01:10:13,667
She's Sam's cousin.
1517
01:10:13,667 --> 01:10:14,752
Yeah, Steve.
1518
01:10:14,793 --> 01:10:16,837
Sam's told me
all about you, dude.
1519
01:10:16,879 --> 01:10:18,881
Congratulations on the wedding,
by the way.
1520
01:10:18,923 --> 01:10:20,007
From what Sam tells me,
1521
01:10:20,007 --> 01:10:22,635
you're getting, uh,
quite a girl.
1522
01:10:22,676 --> 01:10:23,844
Okay.
(clearing throat)
1523
01:10:23,886 --> 01:10:25,471
(Sam)
Quite a girl.
1524
01:10:25,512 --> 01:10:27,306
Are you kidding
about playing?
1525
01:10:27,348 --> 01:10:29,850
Yeah, she's kidding.
No, no, she's not kidding.
1526
01:10:29,850 --> 01:10:31,894
We're all great football players
in my family.
1527
01:10:31,936 --> 01:10:34,730
And believe me, guys,
I know how to handle a ball.
1528
01:10:34,772 --> 01:10:37,691
(laughter)
1529
01:10:37,691 --> 01:10:38,692
(man)
I'm sure you do.
1530
01:10:38,734 --> 01:10:40,361
(Sam)
One play.
No.
1531
01:10:40,402 --> 01:10:42,821
Just give me one.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, okay.
1532
01:10:42,863 --> 01:10:44,907
Okay, let's let her play,
one play.
1533
01:10:44,949 --> 01:10:46,742
Come on, let's go.
You're overruled.
1534
01:10:46,784 --> 01:10:47,952
Come on, one play.
1535
01:10:47,993 --> 01:10:49,453
Let's do it.
Come on, guys.
1536
01:10:49,495 --> 01:10:51,705
Team ball.
1537
01:10:51,705 --> 01:10:52,957
Whoo!
1538
01:10:52,998 --> 01:10:54,708
I hope you're better
than Sam!
Team!
1539
01:10:56,543 --> 01:10:58,545
Set, hike.
1540
01:10:58,587 --> 01:11:00,965
(grunting)
1541
01:11:01,006 --> 01:11:03,884
Oh, got it!
Oh, shit!
1542
01:11:03,926 --> 01:11:05,803
(men laughing)
1543
01:11:05,844 --> 01:11:06,971
You-- fucking Steve!
1544
01:11:07,012 --> 01:11:09,390
You-- get off of me!
1545
01:11:09,431 --> 01:11:11,392
Steve, stop grabbing my ass!
1546
01:11:11,433 --> 01:11:12,601
(men screaming)
1547
01:11:12,643 --> 01:11:14,311
Fucker!
Wait, what?
1548
01:11:14,353 --> 01:11:15,854
Get off-- Steve!
1549
01:11:15,896 --> 01:11:17,606
God!
1550
01:11:17,648 --> 01:11:19,566
Save it
for Georgette!
What?
1551
01:11:19,566 --> 01:11:20,901
(man)
You better shut
this girl up.
1552
01:11:20,943 --> 01:11:22,569
No, I know how much
you like the ass play.
1553
01:11:22,611 --> 01:11:23,696
(Doc)
Relax. Come on.
1554
01:11:23,737 --> 01:11:25,030
No, you know what,
1555
01:11:25,072 --> 01:11:26,573
I don't even know why
you're hanging out
1556
01:11:26,615 --> 01:11:27,658
with this bitch instead
of Cynthia anyway.
1557
01:11:27,700 --> 01:11:28,867
Don't call her
a bitch, Stephen.
1558
01:11:28,909 --> 01:11:30,411
Oh, she's a bitch.
1559
01:11:30,452 --> 01:11:31,912
Okay, so now
I'm a bitch.
1560
01:11:31,954 --> 01:11:33,622
Oh, you're
a Grade A bitch.
1561
01:11:33,664 --> 01:11:35,582
I told you not
to call her a bitch.
1562
01:11:35,624 --> 01:11:37,584
Oh, sorry,
little bitch.
1563
01:11:37,584 --> 01:11:39,503
Guys, guys...
Fucking asshole.
1564
01:11:39,545 --> 01:11:40,754
(men shouting)
1565
01:11:40,754 --> 01:11:41,922
Fight!
1566
01:11:41,922 --> 01:11:43,590
Relax, come on, relax.
1567
01:11:43,632 --> 01:11:45,884
Listen, come on,
we're all friends.
1568
01:11:45,926 --> 01:11:47,845
Shake hands, come on.
1569
01:11:47,886 --> 01:11:49,763
Uh-huh.
1570
01:11:49,763 --> 01:11:50,806
We're friends.
1571
01:11:54,768 --> 01:11:56,770
Doc.
1572
01:11:56,770 --> 01:11:58,605
Come on, man, it's okay.
Let it go.
1573
01:11:58,605 --> 01:11:59,898
No.
1574
01:11:59,940 --> 01:12:02,609
It's not okay,
all right?
1575
01:12:02,609 --> 01:12:05,446
Nothing is okay.
1576
01:12:05,487 --> 01:12:06,613
Doc.
1577
01:12:06,613 --> 01:12:07,948
You were right.
1578
01:12:07,990 --> 01:12:09,533
She left me!
1579
01:12:09,575 --> 01:12:11,952
Are you happy now?
1580
01:12:13,537 --> 01:12:14,788
Come on, man,
can we just chat about it?
1581
01:12:14,830 --> 01:12:17,374
No, just go home.
1582
01:12:17,416 --> 01:12:18,959
All right,
I'm sick of you.
1583
01:12:19,001 --> 01:12:21,795
(man)
Hey, what about the game?
1584
01:12:21,795 --> 01:12:23,589
Samantha?
1585
01:12:25,966 --> 01:12:28,010
I want her on my team
next time.
1586
01:12:32,431 --> 01:12:33,515
Shit.
1587
01:12:40,564 --> 01:12:43,609
Ugh!
Bunch of assholes!
1588
01:12:43,650 --> 01:12:44,985
Fuckin' Steve.
1589
01:12:53,786 --> 01:12:55,412
(sniffling)
1590
01:13:03,754 --> 01:13:05,005
(sniffling)
1591
01:13:07,591 --> 01:13:08,759
(exhales)
1592
01:13:14,848 --> 01:13:16,058
(exhales)
1593
01:13:34,493 --> 01:13:36,495
(sobbing)
1594
01:13:39,623 --> 01:13:42,543
(sobbing continues)
1595
01:13:54,888 --> 01:13:57,099
(knocking on door)
1596
01:14:08,026 --> 01:14:09,653
Peace offering.
1597
01:14:21,707 --> 01:14:24,668
Listen, Doc, um...
1598
01:14:24,710 --> 01:14:28,213
I know that Cynthia
and I don't get along,
1599
01:14:28,255 --> 01:14:31,633
but if she's what
you want, then...
1600
01:14:31,675 --> 01:14:34,970
Lately, I don't know
what I want.
1601
01:14:35,012 --> 01:14:39,683
I do know I am sick of getting
my balls busted by her.
1602
01:14:39,725 --> 01:14:41,602
Well, at least
you have balls.
1603
01:14:43,896 --> 01:14:47,274
Oh, God.
1604
01:14:47,274 --> 01:14:48,775
You're having
a muscle spasm.
1605
01:14:48,775 --> 01:14:50,068
No, it's fine,
it's fine.
1606
01:14:50,110 --> 01:14:51,111
I'll just take
some aspirin.
1607
01:14:51,153 --> 01:14:53,739
Who's the doctor here?
Lay down.
1608
01:14:53,780 --> 01:14:55,199
Come on.
1609
01:14:57,618 --> 01:14:58,660
Turn over.
1610
01:14:58,702 --> 01:15:00,204
Okay.
1611
01:15:00,245 --> 01:15:01,538
Right there?
1612
01:15:01,580 --> 01:15:02,956
Oh, God, yeah.
1613
01:15:02,998 --> 01:15:04,708
How does that feel?
1614
01:15:04,750 --> 01:15:06,960
Oh, much better.
1615
01:15:08,879 --> 01:15:12,257
Mmm.
1616
01:15:12,299 --> 01:15:15,219
(chuckling)
1617
01:15:15,260 --> 01:15:18,597
I, um...
I have to use the john.
1618
01:15:31,902 --> 01:15:34,988
Oh, my God.
1619
01:15:35,030 --> 01:15:36,907
She's alive.
1620
01:15:38,116 --> 01:15:40,035
(knocking on door)
1621
01:15:50,087 --> 01:15:51,046
You?
1622
01:15:51,088 --> 01:15:53,674
Yes, me.
1623
01:15:53,715 --> 01:15:56,260
The doorman was kind enough
to let me up.
1624
01:15:56,301 --> 01:16:00,847
And, um, I think
it's time that, um,
1625
01:16:00,847 --> 01:16:02,849
you know, you and I had
a little talk.
1626
01:16:02,849 --> 01:16:06,103
Uh, what would you like
to talk about?
1627
01:16:06,144 --> 01:16:10,107
The fact that
you stole my man,
1628
01:16:10,148 --> 01:16:12,651
and I'd like him back.
1629
01:16:12,693 --> 01:16:17,864
Decent men in this city
are few and far between.
1630
01:16:17,906 --> 01:16:22,869
Decent, straight, unmarried
ones are even rarer.
1631
01:16:22,869 --> 01:16:25,706
Oh, you forgot rich.
1632
01:16:27,207 --> 01:16:31,878
Women like me, okay,
successful career women.
1633
01:16:31,920 --> 01:16:34,881
Women who think
about tomorrow.
1634
01:16:34,881 --> 01:16:37,050
Women who plan
maybe five,
1635
01:16:37,092 --> 01:16:39,011
ten years ahead
in their life,
1636
01:16:39,052 --> 01:16:43,724
we sometimes,
we have to settle.
1637
01:16:43,765 --> 01:16:45,017
Settle?
1638
01:16:45,058 --> 01:16:47,769
Settle, or were you
born yesterday?
1639
01:16:47,811 --> 01:16:49,229
Actually,
about a month ago.
1640
01:16:52,441 --> 01:16:55,694
Andrew is--
he's well-bred, okay?
1641
01:16:55,736 --> 01:16:57,112
He's handsome,
1642
01:16:57,154 --> 01:17:00,407
he's got all the right
credentials, and...
1643
01:17:00,449 --> 01:17:04,119
he's gonna make an excellent
father to our children.
1644
01:17:04,161 --> 01:17:05,245
Wow, you got it
all planned out,
1645
01:17:05,287 --> 01:17:06,705
don't you, sister?
1646
01:17:06,747 --> 01:17:08,749
As a matter of fact,
I do.
1647
01:17:08,749 --> 01:17:11,251
And he doesn't get
a say in any of this?
1648
01:17:11,251 --> 01:17:14,755
No, he doesn't.
1649
01:17:14,755 --> 01:17:16,882
But you do.
1650
01:17:16,923 --> 01:17:20,927
Which brings me to
the point of my visit.
1651
01:17:20,927 --> 01:17:21,970
Oh?
1652
01:17:22,012 --> 01:17:24,097
How much?
1653
01:17:24,097 --> 01:17:25,682
What?
1654
01:17:25,724 --> 01:17:26,933
(chuckling)
You heard me.
1655
01:17:26,975 --> 01:17:29,353
How much do you want
to, uh, let him go?
1656
01:17:31,104 --> 01:17:36,735
I'm sorry, are you...
trying to buy me off?
1657
01:17:38,236 --> 01:17:41,823
I mean... you're obviously
the type, you know?
1658
01:17:41,865 --> 01:17:45,118
I mean, if it walks
like a duck...
1659
01:17:45,118 --> 01:17:47,120
How would you like me
to belt you
1660
01:17:47,162 --> 01:17:49,206
in the mouth
like a duck?!
Okay...
1661
01:17:52,125 --> 01:17:53,960
Andrew.
1662
01:17:56,380 --> 01:18:00,133
I... I'm--
I'm so sorry.
1663
01:18:02,302 --> 01:18:05,305
Just please--
Please what?
1664
01:18:05,347 --> 01:18:07,224
Bark?
1665
01:18:07,265 --> 01:18:08,892
Roll over?
1666
01:18:08,934 --> 01:18:11,436
(sighing)
Play dead?
1667
01:18:11,478 --> 01:18:16,316
We are so done.
1668
01:18:21,488 --> 01:18:23,490
Okay.
1669
01:18:23,532 --> 01:18:25,158
All right, well,
when you change your mind
1670
01:18:25,158 --> 01:18:26,159
and you come begging,
1671
01:18:26,201 --> 01:18:27,285
don't bother calling,
okay,
1672
01:18:27,327 --> 01:18:28,495
because I'm changing
my number.
1673
01:18:28,537 --> 01:18:30,872
Change your hairstyle
while you're at it.
1674
01:18:32,874 --> 01:18:34,167
Really not a good...
(door closes)
1675
01:18:34,167 --> 01:18:36,002
look on her, you know?
1676
01:18:38,088 --> 01:18:40,340
(sighing)
1677
01:18:40,382 --> 01:18:43,468
Look, Doc, I would say
that I'm sorry,
1678
01:18:43,510 --> 01:18:46,012
but, you know, I'm--
I'm just-- I'm just not.
1679
01:18:49,349 --> 01:18:51,101
Please.
1680
01:18:52,519 --> 01:18:55,522
You just did me
the biggest favor of my life.
1681
01:18:55,522 --> 01:18:57,190
Yeah?
1682
01:19:00,986 --> 01:19:03,488
Were you really
gonna belt her?
1683
01:19:03,530 --> 01:19:05,240
Hell, yeah.
1684
01:19:05,282 --> 01:19:07,117
Spunky little thing,
aren't you?
1685
01:19:07,159 --> 01:19:08,493
(cork pops)
1686
01:19:08,535 --> 01:19:10,454
In a manner of speaking.
1687
01:19:15,876 --> 01:19:18,086
Damn.
What?
1688
01:19:18,128 --> 01:19:20,213
I just realized I don't have
a date to Steve's wedding.
1689
01:19:22,048 --> 01:19:23,467
You're still going
to that thing?
1690
01:19:23,508 --> 01:19:26,052
You saw, we shook.
1691
01:19:26,094 --> 01:19:28,263
Well, I would go
with you only...
1692
01:19:28,305 --> 01:19:29,931
You are going with me.
1693
01:19:29,973 --> 01:19:31,224
Yeah, man,
I don't really think
1694
01:19:31,266 --> 01:19:32,934
that Steve would
be cool with that.
1695
01:19:32,976 --> 01:19:34,895
Tough.
1696
01:19:34,895 --> 01:19:37,522
We're a team,
package deal.
1697
01:19:37,564 --> 01:19:41,568
Anybody who doesn't like it
can shove it.
1698
01:19:43,236 --> 01:19:44,946
All right, man, cool.
1699
01:19:44,988 --> 01:19:46,072
Package deal.
1700
01:19:56,374 --> 01:19:57,459
Oh.
1701
01:19:59,294 --> 01:20:00,504
(Sam)
I can't zip this thing up.
1702
01:20:00,545 --> 01:20:02,547
(Alexander)
Suck it in, girl.
1703
01:20:02,589 --> 01:20:04,549
Come on, this dress
is not made for a human being.
1704
01:20:04,591 --> 01:20:07,010
It's made for a...
Anorexic mannequin?
1705
01:20:07,052 --> 01:20:08,470
Welcome to the world
of high fashion.
1706
01:20:08,512 --> 01:20:10,430
Now get out there,
killer.
1707
01:20:23,443 --> 01:20:25,278
Doc, what do you think?
1708
01:20:25,320 --> 01:20:28,615
Is this appropriate enough
for the wedding?
1709
01:20:28,615 --> 01:20:31,535
I, uh...
1710
01:20:31,576 --> 01:20:33,370
Oh, hashtag clue.
1711
01:20:33,411 --> 01:20:36,289
A dress like this has nothing
to do with appropriateness.
1712
01:20:36,331 --> 01:20:39,334
Its sole purpose is to engender
insane jealousy among women.
1713
01:20:39,376 --> 01:20:41,586
And hormonal overload
in the men.
1714
01:20:41,628 --> 01:20:44,089
Well, the straight ones,
at least.
1715
01:20:44,130 --> 01:20:45,173
All the gay ones' eyeballs
will be all over
1716
01:20:45,215 --> 01:20:47,008
your boyfriend
over here.
1717
01:20:47,050 --> 01:20:48,218
Oh, no, he's not
my boyfriend.
1718
01:20:48,260 --> 01:20:49,302
I'm not
her boyfriend.
1719
01:20:49,344 --> 01:20:51,054
They say rather loudly.
1720
01:20:52,556 --> 01:20:55,892
So, Doc, what do you think?
Is... this the one?
1721
01:20:57,185 --> 01:20:59,104
Yeah, it's good.
(clearing throat)
1722
01:20:59,145 --> 01:21:01,273
It's fine.
Write it up, Marie.
1723
01:21:01,314 --> 01:21:03,108
Excellent choice.
1724
01:21:05,569 --> 01:21:07,195
What?
1725
01:21:07,237 --> 01:21:09,489
Oh, nothing, I was
just thinking of the looks
1726
01:21:09,489 --> 01:21:13,243
on the guys' faces if I play
my game at the wedding.
1727
01:21:13,285 --> 01:21:15,036
Your what?
1728
01:21:15,078 --> 01:21:19,207
The tricks that chicks use
to get guys' attention?
1729
01:21:19,249 --> 01:21:24,087
Okay. For example...
the hair toss.
1730
01:21:29,593 --> 01:21:31,219
The lipstick check.
1731
01:21:32,345 --> 01:21:34,347
Work it, work it.
1732
01:21:34,389 --> 01:21:36,558
If you got it,
flaunt it.
1733
01:21:36,600 --> 01:21:38,935
I love that movie.
1734
01:21:38,977 --> 01:21:42,063
And last,
but certainly not least,
1735
01:21:42,105 --> 01:21:43,982
the stocking check.
1736
01:21:45,609 --> 01:21:48,111
Oh, my goodness.
1737
01:21:49,321 --> 01:21:53,450
Is that a run?
How perfectly awful.
1738
01:21:53,491 --> 01:21:55,327
(chuckling)
Yeah.
1739
01:21:55,368 --> 01:21:58,288
Works like a charm
every time.
1740
01:21:58,330 --> 01:22:00,290
But you gotta have
the gams to back it up.
1741
01:22:03,293 --> 01:22:05,545
All right, let's get
this baby in a box
1742
01:22:05,587 --> 01:22:07,672
and get you back in
your street schmattas.
1743
01:22:19,392 --> 01:22:20,977
Oh, my God.
1744
01:22:38,370 --> 01:22:39,663
(sighing)
1745
01:22:45,168 --> 01:22:46,419
(sighing)
1746
01:22:55,387 --> 01:22:58,765
(phone ringing)
1747
01:23:05,480 --> 01:23:09,109
Sam, what's going on?
1748
01:23:09,150 --> 01:23:11,361
What, are--
is everything all right?
1749
01:23:12,612 --> 01:23:14,280
You're downstairs?
Um...
1750
01:23:14,322 --> 01:23:17,492
Yeah, uh, yeah,
just come on up.
1751
01:23:17,534 --> 01:23:19,661
All right, bye.
1752
01:23:29,713 --> 01:23:32,298
What am I doing?
1753
01:23:32,298 --> 01:23:36,761
He's-- she is sloppier
than I am.
1754
01:23:37,804 --> 01:23:40,765
(heavy sigh)
1755
01:23:40,807 --> 01:23:42,726
(knocking on door)
1756
01:23:42,767 --> 01:23:44,811
Come on in.
(clearing throat)
1757
01:23:44,853 --> 01:23:47,313
(door opens)
1758
01:23:49,441 --> 01:23:51,151
How's it going?
1759
01:23:51,151 --> 01:23:57,073
Um, yeah, good, good, yeah,
I think, um... probably.
1760
01:23:57,115 --> 01:23:59,159
Probably?
What's wrong?
1761
01:23:59,200 --> 01:24:02,579
You know what?
I'm sorry, I, um...
1762
01:24:02,620 --> 01:24:04,080
I'm gonna go.
This can--
Oh!
1763
01:24:04,122 --> 01:24:06,166
This isn't--
This can wait.
Oh, hey.
1764
01:24:06,207 --> 01:24:07,834
Hold on,
what's wrong?
1765
01:24:07,876 --> 01:24:10,336
I'm sensing a disturbance
in the Force.
1766
01:24:11,671 --> 01:24:13,548
What's going on?
1767
01:24:13,590 --> 01:24:18,178
Well, it's, um,
it's about the issue.
1768
01:24:19,679 --> 01:24:22,390
The issue?
Yeah.
1769
01:24:22,432 --> 01:24:24,476
Ah, the issue, oh.
Yeah. (chuckling)
1770
01:24:24,517 --> 01:24:26,519
The issue, the...
(clearing throat)
1771
01:24:26,561 --> 01:24:29,105
You're still having problems
with the arousal thing?
1772
01:24:29,147 --> 01:24:33,318
Oh, God, no, no, actually,
um, it's been fine.
1773
01:24:33,359 --> 01:24:37,530
Uh, how fine, like,
um, you know, once a day?
1774
01:24:37,572 --> 01:24:40,366
More.
1775
01:24:40,408 --> 01:24:43,578
Two, three times a day?
1776
01:24:43,620 --> 01:24:46,206
More than three times?
Yeah.
1777
01:24:46,206 --> 01:24:48,166
Per day?
Yeah.
1778
01:24:48,208 --> 01:24:49,584
How much more?
Six.
1779
01:24:52,170 --> 01:24:53,129
Today?
1780
01:24:53,171 --> 01:24:54,798
Tonight.
1781
01:24:54,839 --> 01:24:56,883
You know what, Doc?
I'm so sorry.
1782
01:24:56,883 --> 01:24:59,177
I'm really embarrassed.
I think...
1783
01:24:59,219 --> 01:25:00,386
yeah, I'm gonna,
I'm gonna go.
1784
01:25:00,386 --> 01:25:02,388
Whoa, whoa!
Come on, it's fine.
1785
01:25:02,430 --> 01:25:04,891
What's going on?
1786
01:25:04,891 --> 01:25:07,644
I don't know, it's just that,
you know, she's, um...
1787
01:25:10,313 --> 01:25:12,440
She's being
really specific about--
1788
01:25:12,482 --> 01:25:14,734
about, um,
who she wants.
1789
01:25:14,776 --> 01:25:16,861
Like, if I, um,
if I think of,
1790
01:25:16,903 --> 01:25:19,739
um, this one person,
1791
01:25:19,781 --> 01:25:22,826
she gets, like,
really, really happy.
1792
01:25:22,867 --> 01:25:24,619
And then if I think
about anyone else,
1793
01:25:24,661 --> 01:25:27,413
she gets, like,
really cranky.
1794
01:25:27,413 --> 01:25:30,583
So, uh...
who's the lucky, uh...
1795
01:25:35,839 --> 01:25:39,425
No, no!
Fuck, oh, fuck, no!
1796
01:25:39,425 --> 01:25:40,885
Yeah, Doc, you know,
oh, my God...
No-- It-- Ahh!
1797
01:25:40,927 --> 01:25:42,512
It's so stupid.
I'm so sorry.
1798
01:25:42,554 --> 01:25:43,596
You know what, just forget
that I said anything.
1799
01:25:43,638 --> 01:25:45,181
Oh, no, no.
1800
01:25:45,223 --> 01:25:46,558
Well, you know what,
just wait, hold on.
1801
01:25:46,599 --> 01:25:49,435
Uh, um...
1802
01:25:49,477 --> 01:25:51,938
Listen, I'm the one who
should be apologizing here
1803
01:25:51,980 --> 01:25:55,608
because you come in and then
you are honest with me,
1804
01:25:55,650 --> 01:25:58,278
and what I do is I play
20 questions with you.
1805
01:25:58,278 --> 01:26:00,280
Um, that's not fair
'cause...
1806
01:26:00,280 --> 01:26:02,824
what you're dealing
with is...
1807
01:26:02,866 --> 01:26:04,701
you're trying
to compact, like,
1808
01:26:04,742 --> 01:26:07,245
30 years of female
psychological development
1809
01:26:07,287 --> 01:26:09,247
into a few really
short months and--
1810
01:26:09,289 --> 01:26:11,958
and, um... I think that
what you're gonna find
1811
01:26:11,958 --> 01:26:15,295
is that, uh, in time
the sexual focus,
1812
01:26:15,295 --> 01:26:18,339
uh, shifts
and it expands.
1813
01:26:18,381 --> 01:26:22,719
And that, uh, there are
techniques you can use,
1814
01:26:22,760 --> 01:26:27,473
um, to, uh-- uh--
uh...
1815
01:26:27,473 --> 01:26:28,641
I'm babbling.
1816
01:26:28,683 --> 01:26:30,226
Yeah.
1817
01:26:32,312 --> 01:26:34,731
'Cause I'm completely
full of shit.
1818
01:26:36,774 --> 01:26:38,651
Yep.
1819
01:26:38,693 --> 01:26:40,445
Sam!
1820
01:26:42,572 --> 01:26:43,907
Buddy.
(laughing)
1821
01:26:43,948 --> 01:26:47,327
We-- We used to
chase babes together.
1822
01:26:47,327 --> 01:26:48,494
You know, we would...
(clearing throat)
1823
01:26:48,494 --> 01:26:49,662
We'd get hammered
together.
1824
01:26:49,704 --> 01:26:51,998
I can't help it!
She won't listen to me.
1825
01:26:51,998 --> 01:26:54,417
Oh!
1826
01:26:54,459 --> 01:26:57,337
Time out.
All right.
1827
01:26:57,378 --> 01:26:59,339
Time out.
Let's, um...
1828
01:26:59,380 --> 01:27:00,882
let's breathe.
1829
01:27:00,924 --> 01:27:03,509
(both chuckling anxiously)
1830
01:27:03,509 --> 01:27:05,553
Oh, that's good.
Right like that.
1831
01:27:05,595 --> 01:27:06,930
We're gonna breathe.
1832
01:27:06,971 --> 01:27:11,684
We had a moment and,
uh, the moment passed.
1833
01:27:11,726 --> 01:27:12,894
And we're fine.
1834
01:27:12,936 --> 01:27:15,563
You're fine!
I'm in heat!
1835
01:27:15,605 --> 01:27:17,690
Sam--
oh, sit, just--
1836
01:27:17,732 --> 01:27:19,275
Why don't you sit?
Why don't, um...
1837
01:27:21,903 --> 01:27:24,030
Eat some chips.
1838
01:27:24,072 --> 01:27:26,783
And I'm gonna get, uh,
you a beer.
1839
01:27:26,824 --> 01:27:28,034
We're gonna get a beer,
1840
01:27:28,034 --> 01:27:29,702
and we're gonna
talk this out.
1841
01:27:29,744 --> 01:27:31,371
Mmm.
(crunching)
1842
01:27:33,414 --> 01:27:35,750
(sniffing)
1843
01:27:35,792 --> 01:27:37,460
Oh.
1844
01:27:40,380 --> 01:27:44,050
Oh.
That's nice.
1845
01:27:44,092 --> 01:27:46,886
(Doc laughing)
You, you know...
1846
01:27:46,886 --> 01:27:48,930
we are gonna look
back at this,
1847
01:27:48,972 --> 01:27:49,889
and we're gonna--
1848
01:27:51,849 --> 01:27:53,309
(sniffing)
1849
01:27:53,351 --> 01:27:58,606
Oh, God,
you smell so...
1850
01:28:00,358 --> 01:28:01,776
good.
1851
01:28:04,654 --> 01:28:06,572
Um...
1852
01:28:06,572 --> 01:28:10,034
That's-- Those are--
uh, it's just androgens.
1853
01:28:10,076 --> 01:28:13,579
Those are pheromones and it's
a chemical...
(sighing)
1854
01:28:18,751 --> 01:28:21,087
What?
1855
01:28:21,129 --> 01:28:26,342
I'm getting the uncontrollable
urge to... cuddle.
1856
01:28:27,844 --> 01:28:29,512
Oh.
1857
01:28:31,431 --> 01:28:33,016
Wow.
1858
01:28:36,102 --> 01:28:37,603
Mmm.
1859
01:28:56,706 --> 01:28:59,792
Good day, Miss Wellman.
1860
01:28:59,834 --> 01:29:01,753
Well, you know
what they say, Lou.
1861
01:29:01,794 --> 01:29:03,463
Every day above ground's
a good one.
1862
01:29:03,463 --> 01:29:05,798
(chuckling)
Ain't that the truth.
1863
01:29:07,091 --> 01:29:09,635
(clicks tongue,
chuckles)
1864
01:29:12,472 --> 01:29:13,931
Wow.
1865
01:29:32,075 --> 01:29:34,827
"Ye Old Curiosity Shoppe.
1866
01:29:39,165 --> 01:29:43,669
Tonight at midnight,
to make the choice."
1867
01:29:52,637 --> 01:29:55,890
♪♪
1868
01:29:55,932 --> 01:29:58,184
(inaudible)
1869
01:30:36,556 --> 01:30:37,682
Congratulations.
1870
01:30:37,723 --> 01:30:40,226
Oh, thanks, Doc.
Thanks for coming.
1871
01:30:40,226 --> 01:30:42,687
And, uh... you're here.
1872
01:30:42,728 --> 01:30:44,147
It was a beautiful
ceremony.
1873
01:30:44,188 --> 01:30:45,857
Thank you.
1874
01:30:45,898 --> 01:30:48,192
So, you're Sam's
cousin.
1875
01:30:48,234 --> 01:30:51,571
Same blood runs
through our veins.
1876
01:30:51,612 --> 01:30:52,738
I've heard
a lot about you.
1877
01:30:52,780 --> 01:30:54,782
Only good things,
right?
1878
01:30:54,824 --> 01:30:56,909
So, uh, how is Sam
doing anyway?
1879
01:30:58,119 --> 01:31:02,039
Oh, uh, he's like
a new person.
1880
01:31:02,081 --> 01:31:04,000
Sort of feels like
he's with us here in spirit.
1881
01:31:05,751 --> 01:31:08,629
Well, uh, we don't want
to hoard all of your time.
1882
01:31:08,671 --> 01:31:10,590
Come on, Sam... mantha.
1883
01:31:10,631 --> 01:31:11,674
Let's go get a cocktail.
1884
01:31:11,716 --> 01:31:14,510
Enjoy.
1885
01:31:14,552 --> 01:31:15,761
Weird.
1886
01:31:15,803 --> 01:31:17,889
Feeling a little bit
cocky, eh?
1887
01:31:17,930 --> 01:31:20,057
Sorry,
couldn't resist.
1888
01:31:20,099 --> 01:31:21,225
(chuckles)
1889
01:31:26,189 --> 01:31:28,065
Oh. (chuckles)
Hi.
1890
01:31:28,107 --> 01:31:31,527
Hi.
(sighs)
1891
01:31:31,569 --> 01:31:33,779
Having fun?
Yeah.
1892
01:31:33,821 --> 01:31:36,616
Uh, you know,
you're supposed to
1893
01:31:36,616 --> 01:31:38,743
only get married once.
1894
01:31:38,784 --> 01:31:40,786
In theory, anyway.
1895
01:31:40,828 --> 01:31:44,540
Listen, Georgette,
I, um...
1896
01:31:44,582 --> 01:31:46,125
I know that you
don't like me.
1897
01:31:46,125 --> 01:31:48,294
I don't really
know you.
1898
01:31:48,336 --> 01:31:50,880
Um, I...
(chuckles)
1899
01:31:50,922 --> 01:31:52,757
You know me better
than you think.
1900
01:31:52,798 --> 01:31:54,008
I do?
1901
01:31:54,050 --> 01:31:55,760
Oh, yeah, you know,
that whole...
1902
01:31:55,801 --> 01:31:56,969
(chuckles)
1903
01:31:57,011 --> 01:31:59,055
female intuition
thing, right?
1904
01:31:59,096 --> 01:32:00,640
Right. Uh...
1905
01:32:00,681 --> 01:32:03,142
Anyway, um...
1906
01:32:03,184 --> 01:32:04,644
I hope I'm not
out of line.
1907
01:32:04,685 --> 01:32:06,187
Um, just a thought.
1908
01:32:07,855 --> 01:32:09,649
If you want it
to work out with Stephen,
1909
01:32:09,690 --> 01:32:14,028
I mean, really work out
for the long haul,
1910
01:32:14,070 --> 01:32:15,863
just be his friend,
1911
01:32:15,905 --> 01:32:20,326
and everything will fall
into place from there.
1912
01:32:20,326 --> 01:32:23,663
Wow, uh...
1913
01:32:23,663 --> 01:32:25,873
I really didn't
expect that from you.
1914
01:32:25,915 --> 01:32:27,166
Yeah, neither did I.
1915
01:32:27,166 --> 01:32:29,585
(chuckling)
1916
01:32:31,003 --> 01:32:32,922
Thank you, Samantha.
1917
01:32:43,849 --> 01:32:45,560
(sighs)
1918
01:32:50,231 --> 01:32:51,190
(chuckles)
1919
01:32:54,110 --> 01:32:55,152
You know,
when I was a guy,
1920
01:32:55,194 --> 01:32:57,655
I used to do this
for girls.
1921
01:32:59,323 --> 01:33:00,783
Oh, who am I kidding?
1922
01:33:00,825 --> 01:33:03,035
I don't think I've ever
done this for a woman.
1923
01:33:03,077 --> 01:33:04,829
You know...
1924
01:33:04,870 --> 01:33:08,958
I think you've grown
your own brand of chivalry.
1925
01:33:09,000 --> 01:33:11,127
Thanks, Doc.
1926
01:33:11,168 --> 01:33:13,796
What's wrong, Sam?
1927
01:33:13,838 --> 01:33:14,922
You seem sad.
1928
01:33:14,964 --> 01:33:17,383
I noticed in the car
on the way over.
1929
01:33:19,260 --> 01:33:22,972
Let's just talk
about it later, okay?
1930
01:33:23,014 --> 01:33:25,141
You know what?
I think...
1931
01:33:25,182 --> 01:33:27,893
I think they might be
playing our song.
1932
01:33:27,935 --> 01:33:29,895
We have a song?
1933
01:33:29,895 --> 01:33:32,231
We do now.
1934
01:33:32,231 --> 01:33:33,983
Come on.
1935
01:33:34,025 --> 01:33:35,943
♪♪
1936
01:33:37,903 --> 01:33:40,031
May I have this dance?
1937
01:33:40,072 --> 01:33:42,867
Eh, does a bear shit...
1938
01:33:42,908 --> 01:33:44,076
Of course you may.
1939
01:33:44,076 --> 01:33:45,244
(chuckling)
1940
01:33:57,757 --> 01:33:59,342
So, what's it like?
1941
01:34:01,719 --> 01:34:03,763
What's what like?
1942
01:34:03,804 --> 01:34:05,389
Being a woman.
1943
01:34:07,266 --> 01:34:10,811
It's, um...
1944
01:34:10,853 --> 01:34:12,271
It's, like, uh,
1945
01:34:12,313 --> 01:34:16,734
someone added 27 frequencies
to my radio dial.
1946
01:34:16,776 --> 01:34:19,320
Which means...
1947
01:34:19,362 --> 01:34:21,197
Um...
1948
01:34:21,238 --> 01:34:23,449
Which means...
1949
01:34:23,491 --> 01:34:25,034
when I walk
into a room,
1950
01:34:25,076 --> 01:34:26,327
I pretty much know
1951
01:34:26,369 --> 01:34:28,704
what's going on
with everybody,
1952
01:34:28,746 --> 01:34:31,207
whether they're
happy or horny
1953
01:34:31,248 --> 01:34:35,795
or sad or...
1954
01:34:35,836 --> 01:34:36,962
if they have
a chance in hell
1955
01:34:37,004 --> 01:34:40,049
of stealing you
away from me.
1956
01:34:40,091 --> 01:34:42,259
Anybody in here, uh...
1957
01:34:42,301 --> 01:34:44,345
giving you
any competition?
1958
01:34:46,972 --> 01:34:49,058
See that blonde over there
by the punch bowl?
1959
01:34:49,100 --> 01:34:50,768
Yeah.
1960
01:34:50,810 --> 01:34:52,812
Well, she'd have
a shot at you.
1961
01:34:52,853 --> 01:34:55,481
If she wasn't so busy
checking out that guy's Rolex
1962
01:34:55,523 --> 01:34:59,443
and if...
1963
01:34:59,485 --> 01:35:01,070
Yeah?
1964
01:35:03,114 --> 01:35:05,074
If you weren't totally
smitten with me.
1965
01:35:05,116 --> 01:35:06,742
Oh.
1966
01:35:06,784 --> 01:35:09,370
I'm smitten, huh?
1967
01:35:09,412 --> 01:35:11,706
Crazy in love.
1968
01:35:13,958 --> 01:35:16,252
Wow, you're good.
1969
01:35:23,300 --> 01:35:25,845
Feeling's mutual,
by the way.
1970
01:35:34,103 --> 01:35:36,230
I know it's you...
1971
01:35:36,272 --> 01:35:37,940
Sam.
1972
01:35:40,526 --> 01:35:42,111
But you're different.
1973
01:35:44,447 --> 01:35:45,865
Good different?
1974
01:35:45,906 --> 01:35:47,324
No.
1975
01:35:48,534 --> 01:35:50,202
Not good.
1976
01:35:54,123 --> 01:35:55,875
Amazing.
1977
01:36:04,216 --> 01:36:06,343
(Georgette)
When's the last time
you kissed me like that?
1978
01:36:08,053 --> 01:36:09,930
Tonight.
(chuckles)
1979
01:36:09,972 --> 01:36:11,140
Huh?
Mm.
1980
01:36:11,182 --> 01:36:13,392
(both laughing)
1981
01:36:19,315 --> 01:36:20,858
Wow.
1982
01:36:30,117 --> 01:36:31,368
What?
1983
01:36:31,410 --> 01:36:32,578
What, do you have
a hot date or something?
1984
01:36:32,620 --> 01:36:36,332
Come on, you're spoiling
my afterglow.
1985
01:36:36,373 --> 01:36:39,043
I have to talk
to you outside.
1986
01:36:39,084 --> 01:36:40,419
Right now.
1987
01:36:47,218 --> 01:36:49,553
I need a favor.
1988
01:36:49,595 --> 01:36:51,472
Anything.
1989
01:36:51,514 --> 01:36:53,265
Can you drive me
down to the Village?
1990
01:36:53,265 --> 01:36:54,892
Now?
1991
01:36:54,934 --> 01:36:56,310
What for?
1992
01:36:56,352 --> 01:36:57,937
Do you trust me?
1993
01:36:57,937 --> 01:36:59,438
Of course I trust you.
1994
01:36:59,480 --> 01:37:02,274
Well, then, just please
don't ask any questions.
1995
01:37:02,274 --> 01:37:03,943
Okay.
1996
01:37:03,943 --> 01:37:06,320
If that's the way
you want it.
1997
01:37:06,362 --> 01:37:09,073
Okay, but we have to
leave right now.
1998
01:37:09,114 --> 01:37:10,407
I need to be there
by midnight.
1999
01:37:42,314 --> 01:37:43,899
Doc...
2000
01:37:43,941 --> 01:37:45,359
No.
Sam...
2001
01:37:45,401 --> 01:37:46,527
No.
2002
01:38:07,298 --> 01:38:09,174
(door creaking)
2003
01:39:13,572 --> 01:39:15,491
♪♪
2004
01:39:21,705 --> 01:39:25,584
(man)
♪ The mademoiselle says, Qui?
2005
01:39:25,584 --> 01:39:29,088
♪ I turn my head, it's me
2006
01:39:29,088 --> 01:39:32,383
♪ Could it be true
or a turn of the screw ♪
2007
01:39:32,424 --> 01:39:37,596
♪ Or just
those birds and bees ♪
2008
01:39:37,596 --> 01:39:43,435
♪ Hm-hm-hm-hm,
the mademoiselle says, qui? ♪
2009
01:39:47,189 --> 01:39:48,565
♪ Mm
2010
01:39:48,607 --> 01:39:52,319
♪ The mademoiselle
says, Qui? ♪
2011
01:39:52,361 --> 01:39:55,114
♪ Ain't no room for three
2012
01:39:55,155 --> 01:39:59,451
♪ From my ringside seat
need to beat a retreat ♪
2013
01:39:59,451 --> 01:40:02,746
♪ She has me down to a T
2014
01:40:02,788 --> 01:40:04,415
♪ Ah
2015
01:40:04,456 --> 01:40:05,708
♪ Hm...
2016
01:40:05,749 --> 01:40:10,170
♪ The mademoiselle
says, Qui? ♪
2017
01:40:10,212 --> 01:40:12,798
♪ And my heart
2018
01:40:12,840 --> 01:40:18,053
♪ Started to pound
2019
01:40:18,095 --> 01:40:24,643
♪ Oh my toes
all gone to ground ♪
2020
01:40:24,643 --> 01:40:28,397
♪ All my feelings for you
2021
01:40:28,439 --> 01:40:34,153
♪ So long overdue
2022
01:40:34,194 --> 01:40:37,823
♪ The mademoiselle
says, Qui? ♪
2023
01:40:37,823 --> 01:40:41,368
♪ I close my eyes, it's me
2024
01:40:41,410 --> 01:40:42,619
♪ Could it be real
2025
01:40:42,661 --> 01:40:45,414
♪ All those bells
start to peal ♪
2026
01:40:45,456 --> 01:40:48,125
♪ I hope
that she'll agree ♪
2027
01:40:48,167 --> 01:40:51,670
♪ As those bells
start to peal ♪
2028
01:40:51,712 --> 01:40:56,341
♪ I just can't conceal
2029
01:40:56,383 --> 01:40:58,802
♪ The love I decree
2030
01:40:58,844 --> 01:41:03,432
♪ Mademoiselle says oui
2031
01:41:03,474 --> 01:41:05,392
♪♪
2032
01:41:26,497 --> 01:41:27,664
♪ Oh
2033
01:41:27,706 --> 01:41:31,293
♪ Mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm
2034
01:41:31,335 --> 01:41:34,379
♪ The mademoiselle
says, Qui? ♪
2035
01:41:34,421 --> 01:41:37,883
♪ I close my eyes, it's me
2036
01:41:37,925 --> 01:41:39,551
♪ Could it be real
2037
01:41:39,593 --> 01:41:42,304
♪ As those bells
start to peal ♪
2038
01:41:42,346 --> 01:41:44,723
♪ I hope
that she'll agree ♪
2039
01:41:44,765 --> 01:41:48,393
♪ As those bells
start to peal ♪
2040
01:41:48,435 --> 01:41:52,606
♪ I just can't conceal
2041
01:41:52,648 --> 01:41:55,567
♪ All the love I decree
2042
01:41:55,567 --> 01:41:58,570
♪ The mademoiselle says
2043
01:41:58,570 --> 01:42:03,450
♪ Oui... ♪
2044
01:42:05,702 --> 01:42:08,622
♪♪137904
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