Original subtitles

[???]

Look at her. Look at that little face.

Yeah. And she's our daughter, and we get to take care of her

for the rest of our lives.

We get to watch her grow up and become a young lady.

Yeah. Fall in love. Get married.

Have children of her own.

I love it. I love being a father.

Yeah, I love being a father too.

Every morning.

[???]

? You can count on me ?

? No matter what you do ?

? You can count on me ?

? No matter where you go ?

? I'm standing by your side ?

? I'll be right behind ?

? No one loves you More than I do ?

? Put your hand in mine ?

? I can see a part of me In you ?

? A little something special ?

? That comes shining through ?

? I hear it in your laughter ?

? And I feel it when you cry ?

? I will be Right there for you ?

? Until the day I die ?

? You can count on me ?

? No matter what you do ?

? You can count on me ?

? No matter where you go ?

? You can count on me ?

[THUDS]

[???]

[DOORBELL RINGS]

Hi, judge. Hi, sweetie.

This is the child. This is the child's smile.

If she ever answers the door without it, call me.

Nicole.

Hi, Nicole.

Social worker? Yeah.

You're going to Yeah.

I'm never going to see you anymore?

I wouldn't say never.

I'd just say that from now on, you're mostly going to see--

Cindy? Hey. Joey?

I knew I'd been here before.

From now on you're mostly going to see someone just like her.

But not her. You'll be reassigned.

I understand. Call me.

I understand.

This means you're going to be on my case forever?

This means I'm going to be on his case forever.

Shall I mail you a listing of social workers

so you can place a notch next to the familiar names?

Hey, judge. Want to come see my room?

I love my room a lot.

Well, Nicole seems to be acclimating nicely.

How would you say the remaining family member is adjusting?

Oh, Michael? He's doin' great.

Glad to hear it.

Yeah, he just walks around here

smiling all the time.

Pack your things. We're moving.

What ever happened to honey, I'm home?

I'm not home. This is not my home.

It takes an hour and 50 minutes to get here after work

and that's traveling on the luxurious subway of the damned.

And then-- Then when I finally get here, I'm...

here.

Michael, why are you starting this again?

Because I think Nicole deserves to grow up

in the best possible surroundings.

The loft is the best possible surroundings.

This loft is a warehouse, Joe.

You don't raise a child in a warehouse

unless you want her to grow up to be a truck.

Deep down, they like each other.

You're a sweet child.

Judge.

You're here.

Hey, Joey. The judge is here.

Ah, you probably knew that.

And just didn't tell me.

You little dickens.

Hi, Michael. Are we moving?

First, we're hugging.

Now we're moving.

Uptown. My apartment, 32nd floor, high-speed elevator.

[SNAPS FINGERS] Takes us right there.

We got an elevator right here.

What we have is a shoebox and a rope.

We're not moving uptown.

It's not fair to uproot Nicole again.

Nicole just got here. Her roots are this big.

We'll stick her in a glass of water

and find her a cab with southern exposure.

I think she'll survive the move fine. What about you?

We're not talking about me. I can survive anywhere.

Well, I think you've demonstrated that, Joe.

Look, nobody said that living here

was a permanent arrangement.

I have a nice place too, and I think it's better suited to us.

Look-- Judge, where should we live?

That's not for me to decide, Sweetie.

It's very important that your fathers be left alone

to come up with the proper decision.

And if they screw up, I'll fix it.

[???]

See, Nicole, this is what a real home looks like.

With walls and rooms and washing machines downstairs

so you don't have to walk to the river anymore

to bang your shirt against a rock.

We'll all stay here a few weeks,

and then we'll decide which place you'd rather grow up in.

Wow. You can see the whole city from here.

Yep. Can you see the loft?

Nope. I paid extra for that.

Hey, Joey, come on.

Come on, Joey. Come on. Come on. Yeah. Good boy.

So, what do you think?

I think everybody in this building is wearing your suit.

Come on, just shoot me, Michael. Put me out of my misery.

Joey, I want to be totally fair about this.

You give it one night.

You still don't like it after a good night's sleep,

I promise... I'll shoot you in the morning.

The loft has 18-foot ceilings.

I don't know how you breathe around here.

How can you move?

Oh, and look at the stuff on these shelves. Phew!

Hey, everything in its little spot, huh, Michael?

Yeah.

[GROWLING] Yeah. Chomp this guy.

[NORMALLY] an interior decorator

and you haven't touched a thing since--

[MAKES SWOOSHING SOUND] --the day you moved in.

As a matter of fact, I move things around all the time.

Hey, Nicole, so, what do you think of this place?

You like this place or the loft?

Or, uh-- Or this place?

I like them both the same.

I like them exactly the same.

I can't believe how equal

my feelings are about both places.

[CHUCKLES] we've got here.

I think I'll go meet the neighbor's kids.

The neighbors don't really have kids your age, Nicole.

What age are they?

No age. No children for the neighbors.

As a matter of fact, this building has

a very interesting philosophy when it comes to children.

What's that?

They don't let them in.

This is a no-children building?

Yes, but I've been here long enough

for my lease to pre-date that ruling,

so we're fine with Nicole.

Why wouldn't they want us in apartments?

[YELLING] Are we loud? Is that it?

We're loud?

No kids allowed. Where is this gonna lead?

[NORMALLY] out of parks?

You going to keep us out of schools?

I like it.

She's going to make so many friends at school,

she doesn't need any in the building.

Where does Nicole go to school up here?

[SNAPS FINGER] Already taken care of, Joe.

Woodcrest Day School. The best private school in town.

I know. I went there.

What are you talking about? You went to P.S. 184.

You sat right next to me.

Oh, that's right. You know that.

But I wanted to go there.

And I want Nicole to go there. I already set up an interview.

You got her an interview?

What if I think she should go to a public school?

Joey, This is the best there is, and we're here.

This is the kind of upbringing

I always wanted to give my family.

This is my dream.

This is your dream?

Yeah. Well, except you were going to be prettier.

[DOORBELL RINGS]

Hey. NICOLE: I'll get it.

Hi, judge. Hi, sweetie.

Like our new place? Oh, very nice.

Very uptown.

I've lived in one just like it for a long time.

Really?

Twenty-seven years.

Pathetic, isn't it?

And who's this at our door?

Oh, good. I found a social worker before you did.

This is--

Gabrielle.

Michael.

Out.

Mr. Taylor. Come in.

Oh, this must be Nicole. Do sit down.

And you are?

Joey Harris. The other father.

Ah. Divorced?

No, we're living together.

Ah, well, whatever the domestic structure,

you gentlemen have inherited a very fine young student.

MICHAEL: Then she is accepted?

However, the transcript shows

no extra-curricular activity of any kind.

Mom worked late. I had to help out around the house.

Now she has two parents, and she'll have time

to join whatever clubs you have.

I wish there was something on her record

that would help her to more closely fit the profile

of the well-rounded Woodcrest student.

Yes, but surely you can't reject Nicole

because she had no time for field hockey.

Well, why don't I see what I can do, and I'll let you know.

Hold tight, pal. Here we go.

You know what I do for a living?

I didn't actually imagine that you were employed.

I am an artist.

And when I'm not creating something,

I'm out there playing basketball.

I'm nothing but extra-curricular.

Don't you think two fathers are gonna see to it

their daughter knows how to play second base?

And how many of your well-rounded students

can come into a brand-new town

with brand-new parents and still come up smiling?

Now, if your school can make the mistake

of turning down a good student and a good daughter,

then your school doesn't know what well-rounded is.

Sir. Your school doesn't know what well-rounded is, sir.

Mr. Harris, I like your passion.

I hate your jacket, but what of that.

Between you and Mr. Taylor, Nicole's gene pool

is far too interesting to pass up.

Then she's in?

She's in.

Joey, you did it.

I didn't mean to.

[???]

Real swell place, isn't it?

Yeah, and they take such good care of it.

You know, they vacuumed the hallway two times already today.

So, what do you want to do now?

I've got algebra.

Oh, I don't want to do algebra.

But you should do your algebra.

'Cause that's something you'll probably use every day

for the rest of your life.

Just like I do.

I should be painting. That's what I should be doing.

I just don't feel inspired in this place. You know?

I feel like this dead fly.

Banged his head against the window 50 times

trying to get out, and now he's dead.

Come on, Joe. If I can work here, you can work here.

Your work needs quiet, my work needs life.

I need people around. You know?

Hey.

I'm going to paint some.

Yeah. Great idea. Yeah.

I'm going to paint you some friends.

Really? Yeah.

This building may not allow kids,

but I do. Who do you want?

A boy and a girl.

But I want the boy to like me, so...

give the girl a mustache.

NICOLE: we're allowed to do this?

They said no kids in the building, not on the building.

[DOORBELL RINGS]

Someone's at the door.

All right, nobody moves, okay? Nobody moves.

Excuse me, I wanted to let you know

there will be a tenants meeting on--

Who are you? Where is Mr. Taylor?

Oh, it's okay. I'm the father of his child.

What do you mean? What are you talking about?

[GASPS] to Mr. Taylor's apartment?

Excuse me, but this is my apartment.

I've got the right to do my work in it.

You are living here?

MICHAEL: Daddy's home!

Michael. Michael. Oh-- Hey, Nicole.

How's my little girl? How's my--?

[SCREAMS]

Joe, would you know anything about this?

Michael, these walls were just plain white.

Now you've got yourself an entire neighborhood.

Yes, but I don't live in this neighborhood.

You think I'm fat.

Mr. Taylor, we have a problem here.

The, uh...Bohemian seems to think he lives here.

Michael, why do we have to

explain ourselves to this person?

Because this person is the president

of the tenants' association,

and she can have us voted out of the building, Joey.

Well, my friends and me, we vote her out of the apartment.

See, he's an artist. And, uh, he's different.

We don't like different here. Good day, Mr. Taylor.

What is wrong with you?

Perfection wasn't good enough for you?

Because what we had here was perfect.

Perfect what? I had to paint Nicole friends.

I had to paint her a dog. That's pitiful.

No, that's insane, Joe.

Let me explain something. Do you see this?

This is fantasy. This, reality.

Do you see the difference at all?

Fantasy.

Reality.

You are over the edge. Come back.

Grab my hand, Joe. Grab my hand! Come on!

You can't breathe in this place. You can't move in here.

I mean, flies come here to die.

I don't want my daughter growing up in this atmosphere.

I don't care where I live.

I understand that I've done everything I can

to put Nicole in a good home and a good school

and the only one who's unhappy with that is you.

Let's go out for a hamburger.

I also understand you deliberately tried

to sabotage perfection, and I resent that.

You'll both feel better after you've eaten.

I resent not being told when Nicole's got a school meeting.

I resent the headmaster of the school not knowing who I am.

And I resent you bringing my daughter

up to this child-proof sky-casket.

I don't want her growing up here.

I don't want to grow up here either.

I'll tell you something else too.

Want to play uptown parent? Play alone.

No! Fine. I'll help you pack.

No.

My fathers are getting a divorce.

Joey, what do you want to do about Nicole?

We have to work out some kind of joint custody.

I don't know. What do you think is fair?

Maybe one week up here with me in reality,

and then one week with you down there in the circus.

Fine. Done.

Hey, Marcy probably left Nicole to both of us

because she probably figured

that we'd give her the best of both worlds.

Maybe this is what she had in mind.

I doubt it.

Well, I'm gonna take a look in on her before I head downtown.

[???]

Don't hate me.

Hey, what a great day, huh?

The best. Yeah.

You and me, having the time of our lives.

What'd you think of that Great.

Yeah. And the zoo? Good zoo? Great zoo.

And shopping all afternoon.

Yeah.

Yep. So. How's Michael doing, eh?

Is he good?

He's great.

You have a lot of fun together?

NICOLE: Uh-huh.

Good. What do you do?

The zoo, the movies, shopping all afternoon.

Why didn't you tell me?

Why didn't you tell me, huh? We could've done something else.

You were having such a good time.

I don't care where we go. I just want to be together.

All right, okay, we won't go to the zoo for a while.

Because I think the animals are starting to recognize me.

[???]

What happened? I just got your message.

I came here to pick her up and she doesn't want to come home.

What? Where is she?

She was in the school library.

And she wouldn't come out until you both arrived.

I was doing my homework.

Nicole, you do your homework at home.

I don't have a home.

What about my place?

That's your place. You have your place every day.

And Joey, you have your place every day.

The only place I have every day is here.

I live here now.

You want to see me, you come here.

Both of you together.

Now I'm going to the cafeteria to get my dinner.

Salisbury steak this month.

Well, gentlemen, I think you have something to discuss.

I'll just go and help Nicole find a good table.

Nicole's unhappy, and it's all my fault.

Joe, do you know CPR?

What?

I don't think my heart is beating anymore.

Did you see that little face?

That's not a happy face.

Hey, what did we do, huh?

I mean, how can she be unhappy?

All we wanted was for her to be happy.

No. All we wanted was for us to be happy.

Which worked out for me

because when I'm alone in my apartment now,

I tell you, I'm thrilled to tears.

Nobody's around, nobody's yelling,

nobody's moving anything.

I stand alone by my window,

I look at my great view of that bridge, Joe,

and I want to go down there, and jump off.

You know something?

It doesn't matter where we live.

What's that?

Remember growing up in the Bronx?

We're not moving back to the Bronx.

When you were Nicole's age,

did you care what kind of house you had?

Nah. I never thought about it. Why not?

Because that's where my parents lived.

Suddenly, I'm in the mood for Salisbury steak.

Does this mean we're dating again?

[???]

You happy? Happy.

Thank you, Michael.

I know this isn't exactly what you've always wanted.

Yes, it is. I've always wanted to join the circus.

And now I have.

Besides, who wants to grow up in a place that doesn't allow

two sweet kids like you and Joey?

And I can still go to Woodcrest School, can't I?

Because I really love the blazer.

Hey, Joey got you in there. Who am I to argue?

We could take the subway together in the morning.

Yeah. You buy me a lunchbox, drop me off at work.

Michael, I got a little surprise for you.

I made you something.

[CHUCKLES]

There we go.

Welcome home.

I love it.

You made something that I love.

This scares me.

Pull the cord at night.

What? Whoa.

You know, I'm thinking to myself,

27 years uptown. I mean, what kind of adventure

is your whole life in the same place?

Mind if I come in?

NICOLE: Hi, judge. Hi, sweetie.

You got both of your daddies back?

Uh-huh. Good.

Because in my opinion, joint custody is unnatural.

A child needs two fathers.

So this case comes before me

where this construction company is going under,

and they have several buildings up for public auction.

And there's one downtown that I like.

So I buy it.

Your Honor, isn't that a conflict of interest?

Sue me.

Judge, how come you didn't bring

a social worker with you this time?

Because now I'm going to be so close

that I decided to look in on you myself.

How close exactly?

Your rent is due on the first of the month.

[???]

[???]