Original subtitles

Lincoln X-ray Ida 483.

One-Adam-12. A 415... fight group

with chains and knives.

♪♪

Would you be kind enough to wait in here for me, sir?

I can't seem to remember. Why did you arrest me?

We didn't arrest you, sir.

Now, you just take a seat in there and relax. Will you do that for me?

Uh, I'll think about it. Hello, Gus.

Oh, I might've known.

You're in trouble. You know that, don't you?

Never mind the lecture. You go call my daughter.

Couple of bluenosers... Both of you.

I'll check him through R&I.

I take it you two are acquainted?

If you like Billy the Kid, he's a nice, old man.

Where'd you find him? In the middle of the intersection

at 6th and Alvarado.

He appeared dazed and couldn't even give us his name.

His name is Gus Archer,

and he lives with his daughter on Union Drive,

and likes to ramble,

only sometimes he has a little trouble finding the barn.

Don't you, Gus? Busybody.

Blame busybody. Excuse me.

You can tell my daughter I said so, too.

Kind of like the gal, don't you, boy? Sir?

Takes a lot of figuring, don't it?

Look, son, pretty gals are just like rainbows.

Nothing to them. You take my advice, son.

When the chips are down,

put your money on the homely woman.

Pretty gals just ain't in it.

Poor old Gus. He's a doll, isn't he?

Too bad you can't say the same about his daughter.

I don't blame the old guy for liking to ramble.

If it weren't for his daughter, he'd be in an institution.

All right, all right.

That's enough about the Archers.

Let's talk about us.

You all set for tomorrow?

Mm-hmm. When do we leave?

Crack of dawn. Beat the traffic,

have breakfast on the road, and be in the mountains by 10:00.

You really make the most of the day off, don't you?

I've been trying to get to Silverload for years.

I... I dig ghost towns.

Anyway, I wanna see this one before it becomes a tourist trap.

Did you get the word on that "crack of dawn" reveille?

Just now. How does Jean feel about it?

Ah, she's up with the birds, anyway.

You know, her sleeping's a waste of time.

You really think it's a good idea, Jim?

I mean, Silverload is a long haul,

and you could be a father any day now.

The doc said no sweat, especially when I told him we were taking a RN along.

Now I know why I got the invitation.

Thanks, Pete. I gave it a lot of thought.

You do deliver babies, don't you?

No. And I don't intend to start tomorrow.

You can tell Jean something for me. What?

She's out of her mind.

Wow! I bet nobody's been here for years.

No wonder with that road back there.

It'd be great if it could stay this way.

Come on.

Come on. Let's get out and look around.

All right. But not too much walking, okay?

No exertion, no excitement.

Come on. Let's take a walk.

Fascinating, huh?

It's hard to believe this place was once bustin' at the seams.

You know, I bet it was fun here years ago.

The silver strike, people pouring in. I bet they had a ball.

I'll tell you what they had.

Lye soap, outdoor plumbing, bad food,

and a mortality rate you wouldn't believe.

Especially among infants.

I know. That part would've scared me.

There's a saloon. Come on. I'll buy y'all a drink.

Hey, watch your step now. What's the matter?

Afraid of ghosts? No, I'm afraid of the floor.

You're liable to step in a hole and break your ankle, and I'll have to shoot you.

We forgot to lock the car.

Come on. Who's around to bother it?

I don't know. I feel funny, that's all.

Gus was right. What?

Never mind.

This place is like a grave

that somebody forgot to fill up.

Listen.

What is it?

It sounds like thunder.

Afraid not.

What else could it be?

Do me a favor. Go on inside.

Why?

Just do as I ask you, okay?

What's going on?

Population explosion.

Jean, you and Sally stay back out of sight.

Two more down by the car.

That makes six altogether.

Hey, come on out, you squares!

Yeah!

We just wanna play!

You hear me?

Give me that beer.

Hey, Lou baby, take a lesson.

I'm going down there. You coming with me?

Yeah. What do you mind losing most,

your car or your wife?

Here.

What do you know! Broads!

Yeah!

All we gotta do is find 'em.

What are they shooting at? My car, that's what.

All right. Both you girls get back behind the bar. Come on.

I'm scared, Jim. Come on, now, honey.

You were the one that said you dug all the excitement around here.

Did I say that? I don't think there's anything to worry about.

But just to be on the safe side,

take a seat on the floor, both of you.

Feeling okay? Listen to me, all three of you.

Excitement or no excitement,

I refuse to have my baby in a saloon.

Good. Keep it that way. I promise you, I will.

Best can opener I know.

Hey, what's in the basket? Hey! Christmas!

Ah! Open it up. Open it up.

Hurry up. Don't get impatient.

Aw! What do you know!

They were gonna have a picnic.

Well, I just canceled it!

Open it up. Hurry up. Come on.

Come on, you crumbs. Live a little.

Hey, any booze in here? No booze. No booze.

What about the dessert, Batch?

What's a picnic without a piece of cake?

Don't get impatient, Lou baby.

You'll get your dessert... just as soon as we find it.

Girls okay?

For the time being, I guess. What have they been up to?

See for yourself.

Yeah. Aw!

Catcher! Catcher!

What would you like to find in one of them shacks over there?

Broads. Why? I know. I know, but what else?

There ain't nothin' else. That's what you think, Billy Boy.

Hey, you dudes! Hey!

Pay attention. Listen to me. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Handcuffs! You know what that means?

Fuzz, babies! Off-duty fuzz!

Let's go dig 'em out! Yeah!

Georgie. Yeah?

You and, uh, Eddy stay here with the wheels

just in case they try to split.

Lou, you and Mills

cover the other end of the main drag.

Anybody tries to get by you, cool 'em.

Catcher, you take the other side of the street.

I'll take this side.

Okay, Slip.

Here they come.

Keep that trigger finger relaxed.

Give me one good reason why I should.

Up till now, you got no good reason not to.

You know something funny, let me in on it.

It's not funny. I was just thinking.

In the days when this town was alive,

the bad guys rode horses.

All they've done is figured out a new way to get around.

Newer and faster.

People don't change much, do they?

Freeze, buddy, or I blow your head off!

All right. Turn around. Hands up against the bar. Let's go. Move it.

Where are your, uh, chicks, fuzz?

All we wanna do is have a little number.

Keep your mouth shut. No kiddin', man.

Run 'em by me. Let's have a look at 'em.

Hey, Batch, where are ya?

Ride off, Billy! Make it!

Down on the floor, wild mouth!

Now what are you gonna do, fuzz?

Face down.

What's the matter, Catcher? They grabbed Batch.

They got him in that shack at the end of the street.

Come on now. He had a piece. Why didn't he use it?

Maybe they got guns, too. They're cops, ain't they?

You told me that yourself. That's beautiful. Now what happens?

What are we gonna do? I'll tell you what happens.

First, we surround that shack up there.

Then we wait. Sooner or later, they gotta come out.

Yeah, with a .38 back there.

So what? How are they gonna leave, in a taxicab?

Come on! Let's go!

♪♪

Thanks, fuzz.

You think we ought to gag him?

Why not?

Use the socks he's wearing.

How about it? That all right with you, Mr. Batch?

Oh, no, man.

That'd be cruel and inhuman punishment.

Okay, man, I won't say a word.

Why should I?

What are they doing?

They just put your car out of its misery.

Like, in one minute,

they'll be all around you fuzz.

Hmm? How about it? You wanna make a deal?

Keep your head on a swivel, okay?

Right.

All right, Batch. We're through playing cowboys and Indians.

You call it off before somebody gets hurt.

Me?

What can I do? I'm a prisoner.

Yeah.

But you're not on death row,

and nobody out there has a bullet in him.

Not yet. Goody.

Let's keep it that way.

Let me have your iron, fuzz.

You're not reading me, friend.

I'm hanging on to you,

and I want that whole mangy crew of yours

right in here alongside you.

Hey, man.

You're a riot, you know?

Am I?

Yeah.

Like, you're as good as dead.

All of you.

That's it, man.

Well, maybe so.

But I promise you something. You'll go first.

Hey, man.

You know something?

I believe you.

Untie me.

We'll split. What do you say?

You just don't listen, do you?

Look, pig.

I'm calling it off.

We'll bug out. What more do you want?

Ask my friend. You wrecked his car.

What are you gonna do about that?

I'm letting you live! Take it or leave it!

When we go outta here, Batch, you're going with us, one way or the other.

That's my deal.

So you tell your punks to come in here right now

with their tails between their legs.

No dice, fuzz.

I change my mind.

Sally, Jean, come on out.

Hey, yeah!

It's about time.

This is Mr. Batch.

Don't get too close. He's allergic to soap and water.

Pardon my not getting up.

I heard you take a gun away from him.

Where is it? Why?

There's somebody moving around out back.

Reed.

The pregnant one belongs to him, right?

That's right, mister.

I'd hate to be in your shoes

if I have my baby before we get out of this place.

You dig?

Nobody likes me.

Heading for the timber... The one he called Billy.

Better keep an eye out. He'll probably be back.

You can make book on it, friends.

Pete!

Hold it right there, mister!

You get him?

That be Eddy.

Those pills make him a big man.

How many more do we have to put out of commission, Batch?

Let's wait a while.

♪♪

You're Bach. That was Beethoven.

Yeah. All but the last note.

You fool a lot of people, don't you?

Say what?

Your buddies in that psychedelic sewer you inhabit.

You've really got 'em snowed, haven't you?

Go on, love.

Glad to.

First, you paint your name on your bike.

B-A-C-H, Bach, like in Johann Sebastian.

Big deal.

Especially when your unwashed pals mispronounce it.

Next, you take out your harmonica

and tootle a few bars of decent music.

Tell me something, "Batch," old boy,

do you always hit the clinker in the same spot?

Keep on talkin', honey.

You know you do,

because that's all you need to impress, isn't it?

Four bars of decency,

and in that symphony of filth that you helped to compose, it sounds like genius.

Right or wrong, Batch?

No comment, baby.

Hey, fuzz, I wanna talk!

Hey, fuzz!

White handkerchief! You see it?

That means a truce! What do you say?

I don't believe it. Quiet, genius!

Come in here with your hands above your head!

No dice, deadeye! You come out in the street!

Look at us!

We're clean! No iron, no nothin'!

Move inside or take a bullet! Make up your mind!

Didn't you ever hear of a truce?

That means we trust you, and you trust us! Play the game, man!

This is your last chance!

Come in with your hands up, or make a run for it!

We gotta rap about it!

One peep outta you, mister, and you've bought the farm.

Do I make myself clear?

We're coming in!

Remember, truce now, okay?

Yeah, sure.

No funny stuff, fuzz.

You gave us your word.

Hey, Batch, how you doin', baby?

You stupid animals.

Aw, man, that's gratitude for you.

Wow.

We came in here to make a deal, and he hassles us.

What... What kind of truce you call this?

The kind you understand, buddy. Yeah, you're clean.

Take it easy, will you, man? "No iron, no nothin'," huh?

Wouldn't play your game, would they, Billy?

A truce?

This town must have made you soft in the head!

The cavalry, Batch... Where they headed?

They're buggin' out, Batch. Do somethin'.

I got a great idea, Georgie.

What is it?

Lend me your white flag.

All right. On the floor.

Jim? Yeah, honey?

You used to ride one of these things, didn't you?

Oh, no.

Do me a favor, honey. Ride.

You made good time.

Yeah, it's a nice bike.

I wouldn't mind owning it.

You want a divorce?

Well, Mrs. Reed, your baby could arrive anytime.

An hour from now or a week from now,

but not this minute.

I'm glad.

I hate this place.

Take me home, honey. You're on the way.

See you back in town. Right.

Well, I'll tell you one thing.

I'll never complain again about the rule that says

you're supposed to carry that gun of yours off duty.

I'll remember that.

You and your holidays.

What holiday? We captured three nuts,

and the sheriff's department got five more.

Now, I call that a pretty good day's work. You're the nut.

Not me, baby. What did the old guy say?

What old guy?

Mr. Archer. Yesterday at Central Receiving?

I missed it.

He said, "When the chips are down,

"put your money on a homely woman,

'cause a pretty gal just ain't in it."

That's what he said, huh?

Yeah. Now, there's a nut.

Closed-Captioned By J.R. Media Services, Inc. Burbank, CA