Original subtitles

[dog barking]

[sniffling]

- Come on, sweetie...

- Can't believe this bullshit! - Diane, please.

- All he ever did was yell at you.

You're not fast enough, you're too afraid to get into the corners.

You're a wimp! That's all he ever said. - Diane!

That's enough!

- Wake up, stupid!

Right now, he's drunk in some bar

a thousand miles away, and he's not coming back!

- Diane! I said enough!

- I miss him.

- I wish you would stop being so tough on her.

- Gimme a break, Mom. She's 18, okay?

She's got no dad, I'vegot no dad,

and you've got no husband. So what else is new?

[horn blaring] - Come on, guys! Let's do it! All right!

- Go guys! Whooo!

[excerpt from Verdi's La Traviata]

- Hey! Say cheese!

[whistling blowing]

- My guests today are Bernie Placek

and Stan Vronik of the Lion's Club.

So, you guys gave away

your annual athletic achievement award last week.

- Uh-huh. - Yes.

- And...

this year's recipient was...

Cornwall collegiate vocational's

big number 17...

left-winger Tina Menzhal?

[clearing throat] - Yes.

- And she's the daughter of Merak Menzhal,

who used to be with the Aces, right?

And you guys brought some videotape of the event,

so why don't we look at it now?

Here we see Tina coming out of the school.

Unfortunately there's no sound.

Right guys? - No.

- You didn't switch on the mike?

- No... - No.

- Here she is coming home.

She's obviously very happy. She's very happy.

As she should be, very happy.

And there's her mother, very proud!

- Oh yeah! - Yes.

- And her sister.

Somebody told me she wants to be

some kind of a scientist? - Yeah.

She's the one with the brains.

[pop music]

- Oh yeah! Oh yeah! That was Too Many Cooks!

That was their latest! Follow me! Is this band hot? I think so!

Now talking to Michelle Walker from the Icon modeling agency.

Who's brought us some pictures of new hot things!

Who's this face, Michelle? How's it going? What's up?

Come on! Tell us about this! This is the new hot thing?

- Well, this picture was sent to us, believe it or not,

by a sports photographer from Cornwall.

- You're kidding me? - No, I'm not.

- And, like, you pay finder's fee for a girl like this!

- Yeah, we do. Mm-hmm. Of course.

- Well, they began by offering me 250 bucks.

Which was... disappointing.

- Well, what were you hoping for?

- I told them I heard stories about how some guys were getting,

like, three percent of all the girls' earnings

for five years; something like that.

- And what was their reaction?

- They laughed.

- Okay, all right. So this girl comes to town

and we wanna cover this story!

Now would somebody please explain to me

why every cameraman in this joint

is ready to kill his own mother to get that assignment?

What's your problem? Okay, so she's gonna become a model!

Big deal! What's your problem, boys? Grow up! I'm not pretty enough for you?

Anyways, Benoit won the dogfight and here's what he brought back.

Have a look!

♪ Come on and follow me to the other side ♪

♪ Come on and follow me to the other side ♪

♪ Come on and follow me to the other side ♪

♪ Come on and follow me to the other side ♪

♪ Yeah

- Yes, Philippe, I know you don't detest, Philippe.

I know this! Listen, Michelle thinks we have something here.

I think we have something here. Do you understand what I'm saying?

You don't want me to send this girl to somebody else...

You gotta trust me on this one, Philippe. Am I getting through, here?

You want to test this girl...

Tina.

- What are you going to do to her?

- You got to wash and polish her.

Make her... Make her shine.

It's a sizeable investment.

- You think she's worth it? - Oh yeah...

The world always needs another blonde.

- She's not blonde.

- On the outside.

[techno music]

- I have a tattoo.

- Let me see.

Anything else I should know about?

- No.

- Take off your bra, please.

Is this God's work?

- Mm-hmm.

- I hate God.

- Marek was 18 when he escaped from the Iron Curtain.

He was a very good hockey player

but, for some reason, he wasn't able to make it to the show.

We went everywhere...

Halifax, Indianapolis,

Tulsa, Charlotte...

And then here.

- Sounds like a tough life.

- Yeah.

And when they finally traded him to Cape Breton,

he just cracked.

- You haven't heard from him since then?

- No.

The girls, they were devastated, especially Tina.

She still wears his old team jacket.

- How did you manage?

- Well, you know, it was very hard at first, but...

Now Diane has a scholarship

and Tina was offered a job in Montreal.

First, she didn't want to go, you know, but I made her realize

that I wasn't gonna be able to support her indefinitely.

We miss each other a lot, though.

- Well, Anne...

That was absolutely wonderful!

Don't go away!

We'll be back in a moment with doctor Evelyn Liu

author of Frigidity: Curse or Blessing?

[mooing]

- This country is drowning in milk.

Whole milk. HDT milk.

Powdered milk.

The surpluses are staggering.

Analysts calculate

that if the per capita consumption of ice cream were to be increased

by only one cone/person per week,

the milk surplus could be reduced by 21%

in the first year alone.

So how do you get people to eat more ice cream?

You advertise.

- You gotta grab their attention.

Address the hidden desires.

Like Haäagen-Dasz did in England.

Sex and ice cream. Ice cream and sex.

- But we're not doing sex, here.

Our Canadian women's focus group didn't appreciate the sex thing.

- So, I mean, it's more: fun and ice cream.

Ice cream and fun.

- Philippe Gascon is the award-winning photographer

who was picked to turn the ideas of the creative team

into eye-catching advertising.

Every detail is thoroughly discussed and studied.

When you're working at this level,

nothing is left to chance.

- It's zero hour!

And right here, right now,

this is the moment and the place to be!

Barry Levine's new happening: Italasia!

Whoo-hoo-hoo! Here's red hot fashion photographer Philippe Gascon!

And guess what?

As usual, he's with another pretty girl I'm ready to hate!

- Hi, Michelle, this is Tina!

- Whoo-hoo, she's gorgeous! Where do you find these creatures?

- Well, she came knocking on my door!

- No, no, no! Tell me, it's not that simple!

- Well, actually... - Okay, I'll tell you what...

why don't we knock on this door and join the party! Right?

And you can come with us!

Barry, you've done it again! This place is red hot!

And who are these other beautiful people?

- Michelle, this is my wife Ruth, my son David

and my equestrian champion daughter, Monica.

- Nice to meet you. - Barry Levine,

what's your secret? - Oh, it's no secret, Michelle.

Right place, right cuisine, foremost the right atmosphere,

the right people. You want a certain mix.

A few American movie stars when they're in town,

sports celebrities, media people.

Business personalities... Obviously, a few models.

You're looking for a subtle combination, a very elusive one;

one that says, "Hey! This is going to be the place

where things are happening, this is gonna be hot."

- I'm very proud of Barry because his priorities are in order.

You know? His children, his family, his home...

you know, there's more to Barry than the glitter.

And I'm the one who knows that.

And that makes me very happy.

- Thank you for this wonderful moment, Ruth.

- You're welcome.

- We're really Barry Levine groupies.

When he had the Express, we were there all the time.

And then...? - Ovation!

- Yes! And now this place! It's really... it's--

- I have got to tell you I love your jacket!

- Oh. Well, it's a long story...

- How about the sashimis, Philippe?

- Well, uh... oh! The arrangements are so perfect!

You hesitate to take one! - And how about you?

- This is a little weird, I--

- Barry! Barry! This girl is calling your sashimis weird!

- No...! It's just...

- Well, that's the advantage of being beautiful.

You can say anything you want and get away with it.

- Oooh...

[loud rock music]

- Bonsoir!

- I'm sorry, I don't speak French.

- Nobody's perfect.

But I think you are very close.

I saw you coming in with this guy.

Is he your... boyfriend?

- I can't talk.

Vous pouvez vous asseoir ici.

- So?

Are you ashamed of this man?

Is there a dark secret you want to share with us?

- Well, I'm not supposed to be seen with him.

- Why? Because he is too old for you?

- Well, it's like if other photographers knew I was with him,

they wouldn't hire me.

- We won't tell.

- Yeah, right, now the whole world knows.

Look at him! He's laughing! I'm toast!

They're gonna send me back to Cornwall, thank you very much!

- Come on! You're going to Paris! - Paris? Paris, France?

My God!

But... you don't speak French!

- I know a few words...

- Say one.

- I can't. They're all dirty words, I think.

[laughter]

- I know this one, vicieuse.

He likes it when I'm vicieuse.

Do you know some other words?

Please speak French to me.

- Paris, eternal city of lights.

Capital of fashion, citadel of bon goût.

And what could be further from the dark satanic mills

of England's Midlands

than this luxurious hôtel particulier.

The quartier généralof Wolverhampton's own Nigel Pope.

Britain's latest fashion buccaneer

to broadside the world of Parisian haute couture.

[screaming]

Nigel is brash, abrasive, sometimes even cruel.

He is mad, bad and oh, so dangerous to know.

Collaborators are often reduced to tears, but they forgive him

for the sake of his genius.

- La, la, la! That's fun?

This is fashion! Pick that up!

[techno music]

- Well, I mean, the guy's just totally cool.

And he's so hot at the moment.

I mean the buzz is just positively deafening.

This is the show of the week. This is his moment,

and I want to be part of it. I'd do it for nothing.

And I probably will if he chooses me.

Which he will.

- The clothes, food, houses, men...

It's top! Paris is top!

- I really hope they take me.

I could really use the work.

I've been here for two months.

It's a really tough city.

- Who did this, luv?

- Oh, I got this done in Montreal.

Philippe Gascon?

- Am I supposed to know who that is?

- Well, he's really number one, up there.

- Is he your boyfriend, or...?

Is that too much of a cliché to be true.

- Well, I... - O.K., look,

you walk for me. - Here?

- Yes.

Walk. You know?

One foot in front of the other. Repeat as needed.

- Thanks, luv.

I thought I told you no more of this, okay?

Please! I'm begging you!

One more like that, and you're fired!

Next!

- Can't fucking believe this. This place is incredible...

I hate this fucking country! Do you hear? I hate it!

I'm flying the fuck out of here this afternoon,

if I have to turn tricks on the street to pay for my fucking ticket!

I'd rather go back to fucking Cornwall!

- A familiar yet all grown up Tina Menzhal

was back in Cornwall this week following her whirlwind success

on the fashion catwalks of Paris.

Although she makes fun of it, proof of Tina's new celebrity

can be found on every Canadian wall.

And after the finicky food of Paris,

who wouldn't yearn

for the down-home taste of the Cornwall barbecue

on Second Avenue. Manager Nick Costas

was on hand to toast the ladies.

So, Tina? We're all dying to know.

How was Paris?

- Well, it was a real challenge-- - I just want you to know

that we are all so proud of you.

- Yeah. Well, in this kind of work,

after you do a few months in Montreal,

they send you to either Paris or Milan to see--

- You went alone? - Yeah... - Pardon me for being indiscreet

and I certainly don't mean to pry -

that is not at all the style of this show

as I'm sure you're well aware -

but I'd like to ask you if there's any truth

to the rumor we've all heard that you were at some point

seriously involved with a photographer

in Montreal?

A French photographer?

- You mean Philippe Gascon?

- I'm always looking for beauty.

My car is about beauty.

My pictures are about beauty.

And beauty is about youth.

Stupid people will tell you,

"Oh, there are beautiful older people."

This is politically-correct bullshit.

Old age might bring you wisdom but, in my job,

we retouch everyone over 20.

- He was really great to be with and he took great care of me.

But when I came back,

I found out he wasn't the kind of person that...

You know? You'd want to spend your life with.

- Because of the age difference? - Oh, no.

No, I love older men.

No, I...

I... discovered... things.

- Things...?

- Well, he's a very visual person.

Very into photography and video. He liked to tape me.

- Oh, well, now, this is very interesting.

In my practice I find lots of couples

using videotapes as an erotic aid.

- Yeah, but, it wasn't just me.

He had tapes of himself with other girls while I was away.

- Oh, dear...

- Yeah. Like, with a hidden camera.

- Now, this is very unhealthy.

- I dunno...

I might be a little square-- - You know, Tina?

This is the kind of pain that so many women,

our viewers, have access to.

- Some ex-girlfriends have called me immature

and worst things,

but they said the same thing about Picasso

and about every great artist.

Beauty is about sex.

That's why women can't be great artists.

There's a hierarchy, you know? Best artists are often gay men,

because they have a woman's sensibility and a man's sex drive.

Then you have heterosexual men,

then, lesbians, half-men, half-woman,

and then, at the bottom, heterosexual women.

When I see a new beautiful girl, I start shaking.

Exactly like Matisse, when he heard the footsteps

of a new model coming up to his atelier.

Literally, I tremble in front of her beauty.

That's the way I am. I'm not gonna change.

No way.

I'm sorry. This is me. Take it or leave it.

- Okay! That's another $120 pledge!

Great!

Now we all know that Montrealers are starved for good TV

that's worth watching and worth paying for...

You want the Three Tenors with Pavarotti?

You want John Tesch at Red Rock with Yanni?

Well, they're all here!

On public television.

And tonight, we have two very special Montrealers,

who've come down to help us

with your pledge.

Famous restauranteur Barry Levine from Italasia.

I've eaten there and it's absolutely heaven!

And the model Tina Menzhal

who obviously everybody wants to speak to tonight.

Ah! Another $120!

Remember,

ask for Tina, and if you like good food, ask for Barry!

[laughing]

- Bruce Taylor is the man who lives his entire life

through the viewfinder. When he's not shooting covers

for today's top fashion magazines,

he's usually filming obscure documentaries

on his favorite avant-garde jazz musicians

or directing high-end television commercials.

Like this one, for Nakashimi's Liquid One.

Bruce! Can I ask you a personal question?

- The rumors are false! I am not marrying Cameron Diaz!

We just happen to be very good friends.

- No, seriously! Including that, how many cameras do you own?

- I'm afraid that's too personal. - Oh, come on, you can tell me!

- Don't ask! It's like having too many shoes!

- Ha! Ha! Too many shoes!

Starring in this commercial is hockey superstar Steve Bourque

of the New York Rangers who is himself no stranger

to the world of high-art photography.

Less than a year ago, Steve appeared in Charmed Bodies,

Bruce Taylor's portrait of professional and Olympic athletes.

Enjoy...

- I feel I have to stretch, you know?

Whether it be film, television or the media...

I mean there's only so far you can go pushing Gatorade.

Not that Gatorade isn't an excellent beverage.

- And spicing up the mix for Liquid One

is stunning newcomer Tina Menzhal

who's Taylor's latest discovery.

So tell me, Tina, you must've just died

when you went in to see Bruce Taylor?

- No, I didn't die-- - I mean, for somebody like you,

in your position, this is, after all, the chance of a lifetime!

- Well, you never kn-- - Come on!

You must've been knocking yourself on the head

saying, "Ah! This is my life!" - Well, I knew I could skate--

- And you've also just been signed by superagent Renny Ohayon?

Ohayon from WCM in New York City!

Talk about a Cinderella story, ladies and gentlemen.

- Yeah... - Yes!

- I never really get a chance to leave my office but I got a phone call

from my buddy Bruce Taylor who said I had to come up here and...

Oh, by the way, it's a lovely city, very European charm.

Anyway, I met Tina and we just clicked.

- Bruce Taylor sweeps into town.

I beg, plead and grovel to get her an audition.

She gets the job,

but then turns around and signs an exclusive with WCM.

Not only that, she also steals my best booker.

Who's now running away to New York with her. So, um...

What, you want me to be smiling about this?

Thank you.

- Really, it's not a question of this agency or that agency.

It's more a question of potential. Of opportunity, market size,

scope, range, global appeal.

All of this.

- Wow! So you're moving to New York?

- Yeah! Me and Rosie on Broadway, can you believe it?

[giggling]

- Yeah.

- The Montreal location

is only the first part of this exciting project.

Early next week, stars and crew will be moving to the Big Apple

for the final segment of this glamourous shoot.

And of course, our cameras, as always, will be there for you.

Right now, this is Susie Tucker for Fashion One

saying goodbye from Montreal.

And see you backstage.

Is it good?

Great. Thank you.

Bruce. Stop filming my schnozz from the side, will you?

- Everything all right here, boys? - Yeah.

- Is everything okay? - Good.

- Lots of peppers in that tub. Make sure that pasta gets it.

- Here. I got this for you.

- Oh!

- Are you okay?

- Yeah, yeah. I'm okay.

- Could you sign this please? - Yeah. What's your name?

- Chris.

- How old are you, Chris? - Ten.

- Oh, man...!

- Playing hockey? - Thanks!

- Keep it up.

Sorry.

- Hey! What is this?

Hey...

- How old is this guy? - I don't care.

He listens to me. He takes care of me.

- And he's not married?

- Yeah. But it's over.

- Do you live together?

- He wants to come with me to New York.

- So he's getting a divorce?

- He will. But he still wants to see his kids.

And I understand that.

- What's the guy gonna do in New York?

- Well, this is a very successful businessman.

I mean, you may not know him.

But here, he's on TV every other day.

I don't know what you think of him, but he's not just a caterer.

He did that for me, basically.

But... No. He's got plans. And--

- Let's talk about you. - I think--

- What are your plans for New York?

- I don't know.

I don't know what you're getting me into.

[tinkling music]

[classical music]

[woman whispering]:

- So Tina, tell us. How do you like Broadway?

- Wow! - Is it everything you hoped for?

- Oh, much more. I mean, what could I say.

This is the center of the universe.

I love it. I'm so happy!

- Steve. Are you gonna show her around?

- Whatever it takes. - Ah. Watch out, big boy.

- Ouch. - Bruce?

I mean, you must be ecstatic!

- Only idiots are ecstatic about their own work.

This is a very difficult environment to work with.

When it rains lemons, make lemonade.

- That's... The true nature of geniuses.

It's great.

- It is now official; the super model is dead.

I mean honestly, I'm gonna die.

Literally, to die. If I have to look

at one more picture of the German automated cash machine,

the all-American bore, the English waif.

Come on, girls! You had your moment.

And it was a long one. God, was it ever!

But I think you've overextended it.

So now, if you don't mind, bye-bye.

We are going to finally move on.

We are moving towards collage, sharpness, topicality.

A touch of androgyny.

A subtext of fitness.

While keeping an undercurrent of seduction,

mixed with the ruthlessness of someone

who is taking no prisoners.

I just love this look. It's theirs.

But it should be yours, too!

[rock music]

- Fashionable midtown, oceans of limousines,

beautiful people.

This is opening night in New York, right?

Wrong. This new restaurant, The Model Life, is not open yet.

Don't even try to get a reservation.

But the owners are staging pre-opening private parties,

the latest New York fad.

They call it a soft opening.

In there, everybody's either famous or beautiful.

- It's not some commercial strategy. Not at all.

We're just trying to respond

to the tremendous number of requests we've been getting.

I mean, how can we say no to Brett Easton Ellis's editor?

We can't. People nowadays, they just don't wanna wait.

They want to be able to say, "Oh yeah, the Model Life! Wow!

It's fabulous. I was there a month ago."

Then, people'll go, "I didn't think it was open yet."

"No. I was there. At a private party."

It means, I was on the inside. I was backstage.

I mean... I think that's the statement that people are making here, tonight.

And we're sure glad that they are.

Listen. The play is terrific. Fantastic.

I want a whole lot of people like you.

Hey, how you doing?

- This is fabulous. - Thanks very much.

Hello. How are you? How's the new record?

- Great. - Fantastic.

We'll put it on the sound system. Make sure I get a CD.

- I'm spending my life on the ice, being chased by toothless goons.

I need places to unwind.

This looks like it could be one of those places.

- Are you the model connection here?

- I don't know. But I'm always impressed

with what Barry can come up with. I mean, this is--

- I think that we have created that unique kind of excitement which says,

"Hey! This is the place where you have to hang out."

[chanting]

- Now, we will all join hands

and form a healing circle

for our sister Ruth.

Those of you at home may touch your TV.

Ruth. Share your pain with us.

Ruth's husband of many years

has just left her. How many years, Ruth?

- Seventeen.

- Let us feel your grief, Ruth.

And did he say why he left you, Ruth?

- Oh, I know the slut. Tina.

I saw the bitch coming.

I want them dead.

Goddamn fuckers!

- Very good, Ruth.

Very good.

See this as a very positive moment.

- Brooklyn erupted in violence, last night,

but it didn't involve Colombian drug dealers or Bed-Sty area gangs.

Militant members of the group TOTA,

The Total Devotion To Animals' movement,

stormed a fur fashion shoot on the waterfront.

- I'm from Bremen.

I know violence. These people are crazy.

- I was recording Werner's lighting position

with this when... When they jumped us.

- Close again. And flash. Boom!

Take a picture. Shoot her. Boom. Boom!

- Animal killers!

- Murderer! Animal killer--

[reporter]: $400,000 worth of furs

were destroyed in the attack,

as well as $80,000 worth of photographic equipment.

Only one casualty was reported:

Samantha Burke, a romance language major at Wellesley,

had her jaw broken in three places.

[muffled sounds]

- We believe if you're fascist enough to wear fur,

What can human life mean anyway? - Yes.

- Fashion model Tina Menzhal was questioned this morning

by NYPD detectives.

- Tina was raised in the wilderness.

She's very, very concerned with all forms of animal life.

In fact, her sister is a biologist.

Very few people know this, but Tina has Native blood.

- Isn't Menzhal an Eastern-European name?

- On her father's side. Her mother has Native blood.

Ojibway, I believe. Excuse me.

Excuse me.

- Hello again. It's 10 minutes to 9.

We're talking with Canadian UN Ambassador

Blaine De Castillon,

model Tina Menzhal, and Irving Ujibugamu,

president of SARC,

The Sub-Arctic Renewable Resources Corporation.

Now, Tina, they threw the paint at you and then,

charged you with assault. - Yes. I--

- You know, many people, including other models,

are campaigning against furs.

- Ironically, these are the same people

who decry the fade of the native community.

Their political agenda blinds them

to the fact that our native people still hunt and trap for a living.

- My feeling is that no one has to wear fur.

Just as no one has to eat meat. I just love--

- If I may, I think what Miss Menzhal is saying,

is that wearing fur shows a sensitivity

and a solidarity to the issues

facing Native Americans and Canadians today.

- Do you agree, Mr. Ujibugamu?

- Emphatically.

[laughter]

- Fifteen minutes to first outfits!

Fifteen minutes to first outfits!

Fifteen minutes, girls!

Fifteen minutes, girls!

Fifteen minutes to first outfits.

Fifteen minutes!

- Let's see what she looks like?

- I got so many good pictures!

- Please. I'm here as a private person.

I'm just a fan. That's all.

- This is zero-hour. This is the moment.

Every person in the universe is sitting out there.

This is the show of the season.

[emphatic orchestral music]

[choir singing]

[applause]

[applause and cheering]

That was incredible. What do you think, girls?

What a reaction! It was amazing!

The colors, the clothing, the edge,

the dangers, the aura, the vibe.

- I was very impressed by the deconstructed elements.

I felt he really subverted the notions of collective animae.

- Come on. Let's get partying.

- I have to wait for Barry. - No, no, no, no.

I saw him leave after the show. We have to drink.

[laughing]

- Hey, Bobby? Nunzio. Yeah.

We took the black chick with the funny accent.

We got her? Yep.

- Hey, babe. Where are you?

What do you mean, you just left?

I'm standing here waiting...

What?...

Ah. Ah, ah, forget it. Okay.

Well, I guess I'll go to the restaurant, right?...

Okay. Fine. Fine.

Hey! Are you my car?

- My way of understanding the world

is to shoot pictures of it.

So, right now, I'm following this girl, Tina Menzhal.

And I'm shooting stuff about her,

with her, around her.

- And you don't know what you're gonna do

with this material? - I don't have the vaguest idea.

- Why this subject? Why this girl?

- Well, by following somebody like that,

you hope to catch something important of the mood,

of the spirit of the time, I guess.

- The zeitgeist. - Yeah.

- The superficiality of our time.

- Yeah. Maybe.

You've got to remember that superficiality never killed anybody.

I'd take Andy Warhol any day over Lennon,

Heidegger, Pol Pot. You name them.

I mean, you may think that Calvin Klein is shallow.

But the guy never bombed Cambodia.

- You sit there, looking like a million bucks.

And you ask us to believe that your looks haven't helped you?

Give us a break here, lady! Huh? Give us an even break!

- My problem isn't with looking good,

it's with huge conglomerates

who conspire to impose an aesthetic on women.

It's called the fashion industry for a reason.

And I blame Conde Nast and Renoir.

- Tina. You're a model whose looks are your fortune.

What do you think? - Well...

It's a very complicated issue. Because--

- Come on, wake up! You are part of the system.

I hate this attitude.

We're sisters in this. - Freud said it all.

Anatomy is destiny. - That is just too easy.

If just once, you had the courage to print

the face of a real woman. One like these women.

- Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Are you calling my troops ugly?

[public booing]

- Listen. Every year, I try to go with an every-woman cover.

And when I test the muck up, the women's focus groups hate it.

- Well, I've experienced the incredible harm

people like you are doing to millions of women.

I have seen the anorexia and the bulimia.

- Mental illness has nothing to--

- Beauty is a media conspiracy.

- Stormtroopers like you have always hated beauty.

- What now? You're calling me a lesbian?

Is that your best argument?

- Well, this guy is. What did you say?

- Shut up, dyke!

- Oh well... [applause and whistling]

- If the shoe fits, uh?

- Alright. You know what? Fine. Fine.

This is an ambush. I'm outta here.

[laughing] - What's the problem, sister?

You're gonna run away, now?

You're afraid of a little confrontation?

Not so sure of yourself, huh?

- Get out of my face! - Real people, real reality!

- Let's get the hell out of here!

- Ladies, you can't go out this way.

- Out of the way, pal, now. [alarm blaring]

- You think you could handle being a super model for a day?

Well, let me tell you that sometimes,

here at the WCM headquarters, in New York City,

the pace can get a little hectic.

On the day that we caught up with Tina Menzhal,

she was already being chased down

by award-winning photographer Bruce Taylor,

who was spying on her every move.

Tina, tell us. Who's your friend?

- This is an old friend who I never thought I'd see here

in a million years. Philippe Gascon.

- Hi.

- Great. Okay, Tina. We'll catch you later. Alright?

[mumbling]

[Philippe]: Fine, fine.

[Tina]: Yeah.

- You know, I'm here now.

And I'd love to do some stuff with you.

- Uh-huh.

- Just you and me. Something edgy, you know?

Get back to the real you.

- Yeah. Sure. Why not?

- Brilliant.

Just check with Rosie. See if there's an opening.

- Hi, Rosie. How are you? It's so good to see you.

- You, too. Listen,

Kevin Costner's people called again yesterday

about that date thing.

They're gonna call back. What should I say?

I could say anything but you gotta tell me.

- I don't know. - What do you mean?

- I really don't know. - Bye, sweetie.

- It was great seeing you. Thanks a lot for coming by.

- What do you want me to say? - Anything. Make something up.

- What do you mean, say anything. Make something up. Tina! Hello!

- So that was Philippe. - Yep. That was Philippe.

- I love the leather pants with the leather jacket.

That really gets to me.

Like, "Guess what, I'm a photographer!"

- I guess it's his statement as an artist.

Not only am I photographer. I am also the image of a photographer.

- Oh, you guys are so fucking toxic. You know that?

He was always very nice.

- Right. And now, he's gonna run around New York, trying to cash in

with a portfolio full of pictures of you. - No.

- I bet you. - Fine.

[reporter]: We then follow Tina on Broadway.

To a rehearsal for the VHF fashion awards.

[dance music]

- Okay. Now. This is not the set, okay?

There is no set right now. Okay?

The tape is where the set is going to be. Okay?

You're with me so far? - Uh-huh..

- Okay. So...

When you get to this point here...

- This point. - Yes, this point.

Christian Slater will join you and you guys will walk to the podium.

I'm not losing you so far? - No.

- Okay. Good. There's no podium right now.

But this is where the podium is going to be.

And, uh... Oh yes!

That X mark over there. That's where Madonna is.

She gets the award. - Right here.

- But then if they can't confirm Madonna,

it's going to, uh...

With the hair...

Gaby? With the hair?

- Heather Locklear. - Yes. Heather Locklear.

- Always the same seat. - Is this too much information for you?

Are you getting all of this? - Yes.

- By the way, you look fabulous. They're gonna love you.

- Barry. Experts are saying that the life expectancy

Of a hot New York spot is getting shorter and shorter.

They're saying 12 to 18 months. Obviously, you disagree.

- Of course I do, Joan. There are lots of hot places in New York

that have been around forever. - Such as?

- Well, I wouldn't wanna promote my competition:

Keith, Jean-Georges, Daniel, Sirio. But... look.

I-I-I will say this, that we are, uh,

in a cycle right now.

But we do see the upswing.

All I can say is if you want a reservation here next month,

you'd better make it tonight. Because after now,

I can't guarantee anything.

- The normally rapid pulse of traders and brokers was pushed

past the red line this morning when they received

unusual and unexpected guests.

Super models Zermgard Skrudland and Tina Menzhal were on the floor

to celebrate their new exclusive association

with Nakashimi,

the Japanese conglomerate. Coincidentally,

Nakashimi went up 4.5 points today,

corroborating again the juggernaut combination of beauty and money.

- As far as endorsements are concerned, the question is this:

do you want a unified global image?

Or do you want to split it?

You can go for total artistic integrity in the U.S.

and still push whisky in Japan. Like Woody Allen used to.

Or still does. I don't know.

- As you know, Tina,

on our show, we sometimes like

to spring little surprises on our guests.

- Oh God! I was afraid of that.

- We found someone very special for you.

Why don't we just bring him out. Please welcome, all the way

from Sydney, Nova Scotia,

Marek Menzhal. Tina's dad!

[applause]

Now, Marek...

You two haven't spoken for what, seven years?

I'm sure there's a lot you have to say to each other.

- I don't know.

- You don't know if you have something to say

to your own daughter?

- No, uh...

I am sorry we have not spoken.

How things turned out.

But you know... Sometimes,

life is like that.

- Now, you left a wife and two young daughters.

- They weren't that young.

- Tina. How old were you when your father left?

- 14. Listen, can we stop this?

- It's understandable that you're upset.

But I think it would be so good for you and Marek

to share with our audience.

Marek, why did you leave?

- Uh...

Sometimes we have to move on.

You are not happy about it. But... it's the only way out.

Uh, when I left my parents,

it was the iron curtain, no?

They thought they're not gonna see me again.

But I had no choice.

I had to leave to come to America.

- But then, America was not a happy story for you.

- I didn't have a real break over here.

- Tina.

How do you feel about this?

- It's never gonna be his fault.

It's always the coaches, the other players.

- You try and-- - Getting married too young.

- Easy to say. - Never wanting children.

- I didn't have the chances you had. - Chances?!

- Yes, chances. - Getting slapped around by a drunk?

- Shut up! - Fuck you!

[disapproving murmurs] - See?

- Nobody knows.

I'm walking around with this hole in my heart

and nobody sees it.

Nobody gives a shit about me.

[indistinct PA announcement]

- They offered me $2,400...

plus travel.

I'm in no...

position to spit on it.

- Have you any idea what it meant for her to see you?

- Hmm? Hmm...

American television bullshit.

People crying all the time.

Half of my father's family was shot at Theresienstadt.

The other half disappeared in a gulag.

Never saw my father cry.

Life is not a picnic, Mister.

- Getting slapped around by a drunk?

- Shut up! - Fuck you!

[crowd murmuring]

- Obviously, we'd have to bleep the "f" word.

But I still think it's a moment of great TV.

- Gentlemen, I was in Europe...

taking care of the Tiger Woods' brouhaha.

I couldn't keep an eye on Tina.

- Well, look. We can't be held responsible for that.

- Of course not. But...

I am responsible for the well-being

of all the members of the WCM family.

Tina will be hurt by this show.

And we, as a family,

would prefer that the show not air.

- Now wait a second here. You have to be fair.

- Guys...

Remember the George Clooney thing?

Painful for us. Painful for you.

Do me a favor, can the show.

- We have signed releases. Any judge in the world--

- Gentlemen. Before we go any further,

I don't see the need for this negotiation to be recorded.

Please.

- Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen.

First things first.

The basics of sports & entertainment management

is in talent identification.

One fundamental anecdote.

When they gave away the first Nobel prize in literature,

Tolstoi came in second.

The winner was a diminutive French poet named Sully Prudhomme.

War and Peace rings a bell. Yes?

Sully Prudhomme, I'm afraid not.

If this is too obscure for you, think of Michael Jordan.

Third-round draft pick in the NBA.

The experts chose two other guys

ahead of the greatest player who ever lived.

Rule one: never believe the experts. They don't know anything.

Rule two:

genius is invisible to most people.

Ten years ago,

the hottest musical group was Milli Vanilli.

Grammies, music awards, triple platinum.

They were red hot.

Would you, at that time,

have picked... this little girl to be the, uh...

future most popular singer on the planet?

[murmurs]

Would you?

If you said yes, congratulations.

You can start construction on your waterfront Palm Beach estate.

But if you gambled on Milli Vanilli,

family rates are available at Club Med.

Have a nice trip. [students laughing]

- Why you? - Me?

- You shot this video? - Yes.

- Why did they ask you? - Who knows.

- For a guy your age, this is a real break. Right?

Awesome. Awesome!

Shrill Cemetery. I can't wait!

I can't wait. I have got to see this now.

The brand new Shrill Cemetery video. Come on, Vicky!

Roll the tape. Roll it!

[rock music]

[soft pop music]

- And in Colorado, the beautiful people show their stuff this week,

at the Annual Celebrity Slalom for Bosnia.

And E.D.'s Tony Mill was right at the finishing line.

[waltz music]

- Yeah, Tina!

- Tina. You were flying out there today.

- It's so good to be out here.

I mean, it's such a beautiful day.

We're just really lucky to get this weather. It's awesome.

- You know, you work hard. You have a wonderful family.

You have a successful business.

Everything in life is going your way.

And you kind of start to ask yourself, "Is this it?

Another 15, 20 years of this? Then what?"

Heart attack? Colon cancer?

Then the whole eternity wondering, "What if?"

- It seems you're describing a classic mid-life crisis here, Barry.

- Oh, I don't know about that.

I mean, I've never been strong on self-analysis.

But when Tina entered my life, I saw her as my last chance. I truly did.

- But she wasn't yet a celebrity at that point.

- Ah, no. She was just this perfect, young angel.

- So you moved to New York with her.

- Yeah. A very big move.

You gotta have the right apartment.

And... You know, it's New York.

Gotta have the right neighborhood.

You gotta furnish it. Then, of course, she's off to Florida.

And... She's back for only one night and...

back to the plane; they got phones on the plane,

but you can't call her. She has to call you, and uh...

And, uh... Meanwhile, I'm trying to run a business.

They call her all the time.

From Hawaii, Paris.

She laughs and talks 'cause she's with Bruce or Toni.

She's in Aspen right now.

So... Sometimes, you...

you gotta wonder, honestly.

You start to wonder, uh...

- Would you like a glass of water?

- Uh, no. I'm fine. Thank you.

But of course, it's the summer, so you gotta go to the Hamptons.

Everybody goes out to the Hamptons.

But I have to stay in the city.

So I drive out there. And I've been working the restaurants.

So, I drive back every night.

Go there and back. That's two hours there, two hours back.

On the Long Island Expressway. You know what a mess that can be.

But, uh...

She likes to swim and I love to watch

when they're playing volleyball and swimming.

Having fun.

It's a very exciting phase for her.

And... I'm enjoying it.

Enjoying it. Enjoying it.

- Barry... worships me.

You know? It's very touching.

- But you do sleep with him, don't you?

- Oh yeah. But I'm usually in bed by 9:30.

And he comes in from the restaurant at two, three.

Sometimes the alarm goes off and he's been up.

Made me this elaborate breakfast.

But I can't have anything but my cappuccino.

- Is the poor guy at least being rewarded once in a while?

- Of course he is. What do you think?

He just doesn't ask for it very often.

- I was standing outside of my public school, in Holland Park,

smoking a fag when this geezer comes up to me

with a Nikon around his neck

and next thing I know, I'm flat on my back on his futon

praying to God that the condom's not gonna split.

Same as her story.

- No. There were guys before Philippe.

- Guys! - Yeah. Guys.

- Who, how many? Details?

- Just guys. At parties and keggers.

- So this French guy Philippe, he wasn't the first?

- Oh no. Some girls also. - What?

- Once in a while. - I can't believe this!

- I was a jock.

Summers, I played softball. Dykes on spikes. You know.

- My best friend's a slut.

- Bruce. Can we see Toni now?

If that's all right with you?

After all, we are only paying.

Beat his chest with your fists. That's it. Look here.

That's it. Oh yes. Let's see those teeth now, Tex.

Let's see those black teeth. Oh, they're horrible. That's it!

Now look for help from God. Now look down. That's it!

Hold your hands up. Gasp!

Scream. Put your hand in his face.

That's it. Push him away. Push him away!

And a bit more teeth. A bit more. That's it!

Flap your hands around. You're the helpless maiden in distress.

High in the air. Lovely. Oh, dear, you've lost your wig.

- Yes. Straight from Tucson to Julliard.

Hello, Big Apple, take a bite outta me!

Same class as Ethan Hawke.

[funk music]

- This week, on Celebrity Hunt,

Justin from Formingdale, Long Island,

has a very juicy bit of videotape

he wants to show us.

- Justin has become one of our most important contributors.

So here he is to introduce his segment.

- Thank you, Carmen and Adriana.

Every year, the Lupus Foundation holds a costume ball fundraiser

which brings out the celebs, and this year was no exception.

I was there as the stars arrived and I struck gold.

So start your VCRs now.

- Tina! Tina! Over here! - Please. Please, Tina.

- Look. We've got all your pictures.

- We've been following your career like forever.

- We're your biggest fans. - You like red?

Bye now.

- We love you, Tina. - We're your biggest fans!

- Barry? How could you? - What?

- Do you know what you've done to Ruth?

- What? - What you've done to your children?

You are a scumbag, Mister. An asshole.

- Hey, you can't call me that! - Let go of me, you maggot!

- Who the hell do you think you are, you fucking cow?

- Hey, cows are sacred! - You should be ashamed.

- Who are you to talk to her like that. Leave her alone!

[inaudible dialogue]

- Told you it was juicy. At one point, we were really excited

because we thought the guy wearing the wig was Alec Baldwin.

But it turned out to be a nobody.

- But we still loved the scene anyway.

- The heat was on in Aruba this week for the shooting

of the all new Shan swimwear collection.

And E.D.'s Kathy Lopez has this sneak preview.

- The water may have been cool

but the action was red hot as top model Tina Menzhal

and super hunk Paolo Solar turned it on

for Shan and photographer Bruce Taylor.

[Latin music]

- Look at her. Can you see her?

[sighing]

She's so fucking beautiful.

You don't know how beautiful she is.

When she slides in bed with you naked, you wanna die.

It just fucking kills you.

You walk into a room with her, every man, every woman wants her.

The president of the United States wants to do her.

- Tina told me the restaurant's not doing so well.

- Yeah. Well, I've been making some fresh moves, man.

Restrategizing the whole deal, you know.

- Your associates are not happy?

- Oh, you know, spineless bean counters. Fuck 'em.

I'm gonna surprise a lot of people.

Look at this.

- Man! You're outta your mind.

- Nice, huh? Surprise.

- Honey no. I can't. - What? You don't like it?

- No. That's not what I said. - You don't want it!

- No. It's beautiful. But... - What?

It's not precious enough for you? - Ah!

- Hi again. It's Justin.

And it's late, outside the Lava Club, in Chelsea.

I'm waiting for big game.

[honking] Okay. This is Tina Menzhal.

And she's with... Oh my God!

She's with Steve Bourque of the New York Rangers.

[crowd talking indistinctly]

[door opening, dance music playing]

Okay. Don't ask how I got in.

Don't ask.

[loud techno music]

The hunter never rests.

What the celebs forget

is that there's always a camera.

Here we are, folks.

Scoop of the week.

Tina Menzhal and Steve Bourque.

Can you stand it?

[honking]

Tina! Tina!

[reporter]: 412 people,

including 300 innocent women and children,

had their throats slashed last night,

in Djelfa, Algeria, 110 miles south of Algiers.

Islamic fundamentalists have claimed responsibility

for the massacre.

I'm sorry. This... This just in.

Super model Tina Menzhal is at this moment

in the emergency ward

of Manhattan Central Hospital. Are we live?

Berch. Are you there?

- Yes, Susan. Go ahead.

- Can you tell us what happened? - Well, the story is still

a bit sketchy. But what we do know for certain at this time,

is that Tina Menzhal was found bloody and severely beaten

in the garage of her Upper East Side high-rise.

- Do the police have any suspects?

- Residents of the high-rise said that the police did arrest

Menzhal's ex-boyfriend,

one Barry Levine. Now apparently, he--

- Berch. I'm gonna have to cut you off here.

We go now to Gia Solanes,

at the downtown police precinct. Gia?

- Susan. The man being marched into the station is Barry Jonathan Levine.

He's a fugitive from his native Canada

and has been arrested for the brutal attempted murder

of super model Tina Menzhal.

[reporter]: What do they want you for in Canada, Barry?

What do they want you for in Canada?

- That's as far as you can go. That's it.

- It seems that Levine is a desperate man.

Right now, he is being investigated

by the Royal Canadian Mounted Police

on charges of defrauding his former Montreal associates

of several hundred thousand dollars.

And here in New York, his partners in the now defunct restaurant

have just brought charges of embezzlement against him.

- Well, what the hell happened?

This chick was seen and photographed

with a major sports star, here, in New York.

I could name names here. He shoots, he scores.

[crowd reactions]

Not exactly the virgin Mary here.

So you know what I'm thinking?

Maybe she had it coming. Huh?

[disapproving murmurs]

Maybe! Think about it. Just think about it.

That's all I'm saying. Come on. I'm not saying yes.

I'm not saying no. Just think about it. Come on!

- Both Miss Menzhal and Mr. Bourque are clients of WCM.

They've known each other for a long time and they're very good friends.

And since the Rangers have already left for their West Coast trip,

Mr. Bourque has asked me to tell you he will have no other comments

on this unfortunate tragedy at this point and time.

Thank you very much. That'll be all.

- Did the police talk to Steve? - Is he a witness in this?

- Thank you.

- Well, I certainly didn't agree with a lot of her choices,

and the choices that were made for her.

In fact, I strongly reject what she stands for.

But in moments like these, we must close ranks,

and say to all the women killers out there,

we know who you are,

and we will defend ourselves.

- Plato was the first to state it,

"Beauty is a beautiful girl."

Beautiful girls are a sub-species of the human race.

- And that justifies beating them up, right?

- No. Of course not.

- But they are different from ordinary people.

Nobody ever felt desire looking at me.

- Sorry to hear that, Professor.

[chuckling] - You know, Tom,

most men are in this situation.

And while we may be happily married, our experience of life

is radically different from Tina's or Toni's here.

- Could you explain, Professor? - One of the assumptions of my book

is that it's extremely difficult for a beautiful woman

to establish and maintain a healthy relationship with a man.

[Toni]: This is nonsense!

Tina's the most well-balanced person I know!

And I personally just met a gorgeous rock musician

and we're madly in love. What's the problem?

- Well, I certainly wish you all the best but the fact remains -

and this is not a new theory -

in his famous essay on narcissism,

Freud himself states--

- Oh please! Do we have to listen to this hogwash?

[chuckling]

[reporter]: Family and friends surrounded Tina Menzhal

this morning as she was released from Manhattan Central Hospital.

[crowd and reporters clamouring]

- It seems he jumped her from behind and crushed her under his own weight.

She didn't stand a chance.

But you know, I've seen her take some pretty wicked hits on the ice.

She'll survive.

- We never knew this Barry Levine. I mean, uh...

From Tina's phone calls, it never seemed like a...

an important relationship.

We were surprised that they were living together.

- Nestled in the most exclusive quarter of the Swiss countryside,

the Grauer Klinik caters exclusively to royalty,

international financial leaders

and celebrities from the world of show business.

Despite the legendary discretion of the citizens of Grenchen,

there is a rumor

that American super model Tina Menzhal

arrived on the 7:04 express train

from Zurich last night

and was quickly chauffeured here.

Helmut Gruber.

[German]

[high-pitched aria]

- The season's hottest show is called Tina-Philippe; A Love Story.

This show chronicles the discovery of super model Tina Menzhal

by French photographer, Philippe Gascon.

- A great model is not born, you know, she's made.

Whether it's Steichen or Western or Avedon,

there must always be someone looking through the viewfinder

to provide the vision.

When I first met Tina, she was a little hockey player

lost in Central Canada.

Nobody had really seen her until I made my first picture.

- The exhibition will also include a video installation

that addresses the artist's subject appropriation

in a provocative

and deconstructive manner.

- I want to hold you. - And I want to see you.

- I want to hold you - And I want to see you.

- I want to hold you. - And I want to see you.

- What are you doing?! I asked you never to do this!

Philippe! Stop it! Stop! Give it to me!

Stop!

- We certainly don't mind sexiness, obviously.

But as far as full nudity is concerned,

we recommend delaying it until the last possible moment.

When you think of the great careers of Marilyn Monroe, Elizabeth Taylor,

they waited until the very end.

You certainly don't see Julia Roberts or Meg Ryan running around naked. Yet.

We see it as a woman's...

last weapon, so to speak.

That was all right.

- The arrival in Grenchen of Canadian Ambassador to the United Nations,

Blaine De Castillon, here yesterday

by private helicopter has raised many questions.

Is the Ambassador here for the clinic's

famous Somerset Maughan impotence treatment?

Or is he here to see American super mega top model Tina Menzhal?

We know that the Sultan of Brunei has sent loads

of rare black orchids to Tina.

Is OPEC involved?

[reporters all talking]

- Mademoiselle! - S'il vous plaît!

- Merde!

- If your client is a woman or a gay man,

you can assume with 99% certainty

that there are nude photos floating around somewhere.

- I know. I've shot them.

[Ohayon chuckling]

- You have to deal with the situation.

There are no rules. You...

You do what you can do.

- Federal authorities swooped down on the photo work gallery

and carted off photos and videotape equipment.

They're acting on a writ of seizure before judgement

brought against the gallery and photographer Philippe Gascon

by the law firm of Smith, Deutsch and Rosenthal,

on the behalf of WCM, World Creative Management.

Photographer Philippe Gascon was taken to La Guardia

to be deported to Canada.

Police there want to question him

about thousands of nude photographs of young children,

traced through the internet to a web site he created.

- Look. I am an artist. America is doing it again.

Like Melville. Like Edgar Allan Poe.

You don't know what I'm talking about, huh?

You don't know who Melville was!

Not big in the ratings, Melville.

What about Mel Gibson? Better? Good!

It's a frame, you hear me? I'm framed!

Check WCM, and your friend WCM. You'll see!

- Barry never talked to me about money.

He just spent it.

- What about... Now, this is going back to your birthday.

What about the weekend in Anguilla?

- Weekend where? - Anguilla. In the Caribbean?

- Is that where we went?

- You didn't know where you were?

- It's always beaches and palm trees, basically.

- Then there was a Tiffany diamond tennis bracelet

and the black pearl necklace

from... from Harry Winston?

- I gave that to my mother.

- And you weren't curious at all about how he could afford these gifts?

- I told you, money was never an issue.

I earn money. I thought he had money.

- You never sensed any desperation?

- I thought it was overwork.

- And he never asked you for money? - No.

- And you never offered to help him out? - No.

- Just what was the nature of your relationship with Barry Levine?

- Why don't you ask him?

- We will, Miss Menzhal. But now, I'm asking you.

- What can I say?

It was fun.

It was all fun until it was not fun.

I feel sorry for him...

Even after what he did to me.

- We'd like to submit this tape deposition

as people's exhibit 27.

- Is that it? Is that it?

This is too easy. That tape has been edited.

You guys edited that videotape. - Order!

- Fuck order? Bring the bitch in here!

I have the right to confront her!

- I can't defend you like this. - Shut up! You're fired!

- Please control your client.

- You listen to that? She said it was fun?

I lost my business, my wife, my kids!

- Officers! - I adored my kids!

- Would you please escort the defendant out of this courtroom.

- I lost my mind. I spent every last fucking dime I had on that bitch!

- Your Honor. According to--

- She wouldn't even give me a fucking smile!

- Mr. Levine you're not helping yourself at all.

- She's killed me. The fucking whore!

- Your Honor. Would you allow me to explain the--

- No matter what she said, she's killed me.

Everyone knows. I'm a dead man.

[noisy courtroom]

- We are adjourned. [gavel banging]

- America Online logged over half a million hits in 24 hours

at an unauthorized web site

featuring super model Tina Menzhal relaxing topless aboard a yacht

owned by Canada's Ambassador to the United Nations, Blaine De Castillon.

The pictures were eventually traced back

to the Italian scandal sheet Oggi Ventura.

- And I can only add that the dress code in the Mediterranean

is somewhat more relaxed than it is

in the great Canadian North. Thank you very much.

Oh. And let me clarify one issue which, as usual,

you people have got completely wrong:

Miss Menzhal is not my girlfriend.

She's my fiancée.

- Tina, Tina! Par ici, Tina!

- Tina! Tina! How do you like Paris?

- Well, the first time I was here, it was pretty terrible.

But... This time, I mean, what can I say?

This is the center of the universe.

I love it. Thank you. - Tina?

[reporters]: Tina, Tina!

- Tina, par ici!

- Tina. Is it true that this medal was given to you because Nakashimi,

the Japanese group, gave 20 million francs

to the Musée des arts décoratifs?

- Tina.

- Well, I assume the museum really needed the money and I--

- Stallone, Sharon Stone?

- I'm not getting this.

- They are saying that the... Americans are laughing at us

because we gave medals to Sharon Stone and Sylvester Stallone.

- This medal? - Yes.

- To Sharon Stone!

- Yes. - And Sylvester Stallone?

- Yes! Can you imagine?

- Why?

- Because, mademoiselle, it is a tragedy.

Our country is sinking in--

[indistinct French dialogue]

- I think we have to regard the perfume as a separate venture.

And on that alone, we wouldn't go below 1.5 a year.

- What, francs or euros?

- U.S. dollars. - Oh, come on!

- With option schedules and performance bumps.

[scoffing] - Fuck off!

- Fine. We accept. - We accept?

- Yes, we do. It's a reasonable offer.

You'll go on now and find a creative way of celebrating our new muse.

- Good. - Is that an English word, muse?

- Right, luv. Now,

the first thing we gotta do is pierce those nipples.

- Okay. And then, I get to bang a nail through your cock, right?

- Would you?

- Where do you want your pound of flesh delivered?

- Shannon. - Oh. I thought you were in Nassau.

- For North America only. Over here, we're still in Ireland.

Although this may change very soon, as you can imagine.

- Yes. Of course. - We don't want one penny

moving through France or the U.S. Especially the U.S.

- That goes without saying.

On our side, we have several options, depending...

Excuse me.

Mr. Taylor. I think you are forgetting your star.

Cameras are made to photograph beautiful women in beautiful dresses.

Do not lose your precious talent

that we appreciate so much in Paris, on an old accountant.

Beauty is awaiting you.

- I think we have an excellent deal.

- But nobody is going to pay a cent of income tax.

- You say it like it's a bad thing.

Listen. It's very simple.

Money is international. Taxes are national.

- Oh...

- There is a discrepancy.

I live for discrepancies like these.

- And it's totally legal? - Of course.

- And safe?

- It has to be.

Look, Tina?

You make a worried face for me.

You see these lines?

They're a threat to our fortunes.

And my job is to make sure that these lines never appear.

[50s ballad by Connie Francis]

♪ Evening shadows make me blue ♪

Cheers. - To Paris.

- To Paris.

♪ How I long to be with you

♪ My happiness

♪ Every day I reminisce

♪ Dreaming of your tender kiss ♪

♪ Always thinking how I miss ♪

♪ My happiness

- Now, Mr. Ambassador and Tina.

I think we have a right to know.

How long has this been going on?

- Well, actually, we've known each other for quite a long time.

- That's true. - Can I ask where you two first met?

- Yes. We met in a television studio, in New York.

- A morning show. Very unromantic.

- Was it love at first sight?

- I was so impressed by him, I could barely open my mouth.

- And I found her just stupendous. Amazing.

- Oh, please! I'd been working all night. I was disgusting.

- Would you listen to her?

- I'm not on the rebound, for Christ's sake.

You're treating me like I'm some kind of emotional basket case.

- Tina, I didn't say that. I just asked why him?

- I'm in love with him. - I don't get it.

- Of course, you don't.

You never loved anybody except your mother.

- Okay. Fine. So you love him.

But that doesn't mean that you have to rush into this marriage.

- That's the way he wants it and it's fine with me.

- What do you mean "That's the way he wants it"?

- He doesn't want a girlfriend. He wants a wife.

He made it clear.

It's either that or he goes away and I don't want him to go away.

- Listen. I've got a car outside.

In five hours, we're in New York.

It's not a criminal offense, you can still say no.

- Bruce. Blaine is an ambassador to the United Nations.

- For Canada!

- In Europe, we stay in castles.

This man wants me to share his life!

- Do you know the expression "trophy wife"?

- This man discusses politics with me. World affairs. He does.

I mean, you think I'm stupid, but he doesn't. And- -

- Tina, I don't think you're stupid.

- I had dinner with the president of the World Bank.

He liked my point of view.

He said so. I'm being accepted into a family. Okay?

A real family, with brothers and sisters and uncles and nephews.

- And a first wife that no one will talk about.

- Don't try to cheapen everything.

Bruce, please. Be my friend.

Help me. Go away.

- We were having dinner at their place.

And people were taking about the Cy Twombly show at the Whitney.

And of course, Tina doesn't have a clue.

So right away, Blaine goes on

about Cornwall's collegiate & vocational school.

- That's an asshole!

- So she runs upstairs crying and he goes after her.

Seems every time she's crying, he gets a hard on.

Next thing we hear is him grunting.

I mean, he's doing her right there and we're listening.

So 15 minutes later, he comes downstairs

with this big smirk on this face.

He's lucky I didn't have my gun. I'd have shot his balls off.

- The man's fucking toxic. - Have you tried talking to her?

- Yeah. Everybody has.

Even Tommy has. Haven't you, honey?

- I sure did, honey.

- She's deaf. She won't listen.

- This isn't a matter of me being difficult.

Tina's obligations are contractual.

Nakashimi is not exactly a noodle shop.

- I know that. Who do you think I am?

- These are legal commitments. Play ball with us.

- Look. It's not my problem.

Is it? I'm leaving for Africa in one week.

And then, I'm going on an extended tour of Europe.

And my wife is coming with me. You're just gonna have to deal with it.

My wife and I will not disappoint our obligations.

- Listen... Sir?

[clearing throat]

- What the hell is going on here? How did you get in?!

- Brucie!

- You have exactly 30 seconds to leave this property!

- Blaine!

- Tina, I made it clear. No press. No photographers.

We agreed. A private wedding. - Bruce is not the press.

- Is it possible for you to live without a camera?

Now you've said you could. - You're hurting me!

- Do I make myself clear? No cameras and no friends with cameras!

[glass breaking]

[bells ringing]

- The international spring season

that began with the polo matches at Palm Beach, Florida,

draws to a close at a South London suburb called Wimbledon.

Women's tennis in particular has become so fashionable

that it will be the subject of a Vanity Fair piece

shot by none other than that elusive, brilliant,

and so branché prince of contemporary photography,

Bruce Taylor.

[Tina]: You booked this hotel yourself, okay?

He booked the same hotel. I had nothing to do with it.

No. Bruce is not with me.

Hello? Fuck!

Bitch!

[Bruce]: I was at Wimbledon, yesterday.

- I know.

He went over to Cartier's, this morning.

He laid this over my croissant.

He was very passionate.

- I don't like it, Tina. - He's my husband.

- Well, I was there for Tina Menzhal.

Pardon me, Tina De Castillon.

I was there when we were in Paris, starving, with no work.

In New York when her boyfriend beat her up.

She knows I'm strung out, she knows it,

and she's cut me off.

I leave her messages and she changes her number.

Her agent lies to me. Her doorman won't let me in.

I just want to talk.

Look at me. Look at Tommy!

We need money and she's turned her back on us!

- What do you say, Lady?

- Don't blame Tina 'cause your boyfriend is weak and stupid.

Tina didn't put that needle in your vein.

Tina didn't cause you to lose all your money.

I say, blame it on your white trash boyfriend.

[applause]

- Don't you call Tommy white trash.

- And, debuting in her dual role as wife to a U.N. ambassador

and co-chairman of the Annual Fundraising event,

is New York's own Tina De Castillon.

- From Degas to Mondrian, the museum is an open door.

An important answer to the closing of minds.

Let us keep these doors open for the future generations.

Thank you.

[applause]

I'm sorry to disappoint you but it's really not as bad

as you said it was gonna be. - Good.

- I mean, I'm not saying that he isn't demanding.

But you have to be at his level.

His standards are pretty tough but--

- Tina. There's someone I'd like you to meet.

That is if you can tear yourself away.

- You know, I was talking to Bruce.

You could at least be a little more polite.

- Forgive me, dear, if I don't feel like being polite to that freak!

As a matter of fact, I would like it

if he didn't hang around you so much anymore.

Do I make myself clear?!

- He's the only one here who would talk to me.

- You are here with me, you stay with me,

and if you want to talk to someone, you talk to me!

What's that? Oh, Christ, Tina! For God's sake!

- Leave it! It's for Bruce. [The sound is interrupted.]

[no sound]

- Mr. Ambassador.

Is the damage from the acid rain as extensive here in Colorado

as it is in the rest of the North East?

- That's what we're here to determine.

The United Nations biodiversity project's mandate

is to identify potential environmental hazards

before they reach the critical stage.

- I see. Mrs. De Castillon,

do you share your husband's interests in the environmental issues?

- Do you want a real answer or is the ten seconds up?

- No, we are live. There is no cutting away here.

- Oh. Good. Then, let me tell you something. This is the last place--

- What Tina means is that tourism--

- How do you know what I mean?

- It's obvious, Tina, the environmental--

- Will you stop interrupting? - I'm trying to help you formulate--

- Listen. Why don't you go formulate over there with your friends.

Go put your ass in the hot tub with that jerk from Disney.

- Would you excuse me, please?

- What was that question again?

- Mrs. De Castillon?

Or Menzhal. Tina Menzhal.

- What took you so long?

- Baby. Baby, you're bleeding.

You're full of blood.

- Don't worry. This time, it's not mine.

- What happened?

- Bruce. What the fuck are you doing here?

There's a media alert out there.

Media alert!

Right now, you should be looking for a minor diplomat

with a very flat nose.

- It's okay.

It's okay. It's alright.

- Ti, I made an investment in you.

So has Renny. And Rosie.

- Whatever she wants to do is okay with me.

- I'm tired, Bruce.

I need to go away for a while.

I have to.

- Purely hypothetical, right? A U.N. ambassador.

A young wife who's not happy.

She want out.

Is there another woman? - No.

- Alright. So they're fighting and he says to her,

"Go ahead and leave. But here's something to remember me by."

So he jumps her and he tries to rape her.

You mentioned something about sodomy. Was that successful?

- It's not clear.

- The young lady was an athlete at some point.

So she fights him off. Grabs a lamp.

Bonks him on the head. End of story.

- Nothing you can do. - Resident aliens.

Witnesses won't press charges. No police report. Diplomatic passports.

U.N. is a bag of maggots.

[clamouring]

- The ambassadors of Turkey,

Bangladesh, France and Germany

all left Ottawa today for their respective countries,

following a rambling and disjointed outburst last night

at the United Nations Social and Economic Council,

by Canadian ambassador Blaine De Castillon.

- Do you think our Manitoba farmers care about Serbs and Croats?

I don't think so.

We have troops in Laos and Cambodia.

Are we that fond of little yellow people?

Not really.

The Golan Heights. The Gaza Strip.

Rwanda. Haiti. Bagdad.

Every hell hole on the planet, we're there.

And you think we like it? I've got news for you. We don't.

We've been on Cyprus for the last 35 years

trying to pacify these Aegean assholes.

Come on. Cut the crap. No one in this room

really gives a shit about Turkey. Come on.

Give me a break here!

I wanna see hands. Who likes Turkey?

If you ask me, I'd take the Greeks any day.

At least, they were civilized once.

Hey, where are you going, honey?

Come here. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa.

Slice over a piece of East India. And what do you get?

Why the hell are we sending food to Bangladesh for?

These bitches haven't missed a meal in decades.

Where is everybody going? Let's get started.

Our understanding at this point is that Ambassador De Castillon

was the unfortunate victim of an unwitting

and debilitating cross-medication.

As was quite evident,

the Ambassador suffered a very serious skiing accident

in Colorado, a few days ago.

[reporter]: Meanwhile, Ambassador De Castillon was met

this afternoon at Toronto Airport by members of a medical team

from the Royal Neurological Institute.

[camera clicking]

- Do you know what I'm feeling right now?

I am feeling tropical heat.

I am feeling Spiderwoman.

I am feeling Xavier Cugat. Yma Sumac. Yes!

I am feeling Caribe Lobos.

The wild orchid of the Amazon.

Oh yes, we are talking mud, ladies, earth.

Wind. Twigs. Leaves.

Texture, texture, texture!

Then... Walk away!

- At Indigo, former model Tina Menzhal

Was signing her new book Hot Buzz.

Which tells of her years as an international jet-setter.

The book, written by Tina with Bobby Veau,

tells of the years of struggle and success.

- Well, the autobiography I did with Donald...

Sutherland...

spent four weeks on the Canadian bestseller list.

So, uh, like Donald,

Tina's story is a story that really has to be told.

[dance music]

- This is a design reminiscent of what Tom Ford is doing at Gucci.

- So, Tina. How do you decide,

you know, like, what people like?

- Well, I've been involved in fashion for a long time.

I was a model. - Really. Where?

- In New York. Paris.

- Way cool. Tell me. Do you miss the action?

- Yeah.

Sometimes, I really do.

- Oh. I'm getting that signal again.

Here's something our director used to dance to

at these things called raves?

Anyway, here's Hootie and the... Fish?

He's so serious about these things. Check it out.

- The annual Cerebral Palsy Marathon was run in Cornwall, yesterday.

And the winner was Dr. Grant Monroe, of Cornwall General.

The award was presented to Dr. Monroe by Cornwall's

very own Tina Menzhal.

[crowd exclaiming]

- I hit the wall underneath the bridge.

But I could see the finish line from over there,

so the pain just disappeared.

I also knew that Miss Menzhal was gonna be here.

So, I mean, I had to come in first.

- Performance artist Antonia Rubles Hewitt

set the normally staid city of Cardiff on its collective ear this week.

The ex-model is proposing an installation composed or,

shall we say decomposed, of a rather unique medium.

In the Piero Manzoni genre.

Now, Toni.

This installation bears a rather provocative name. Don't you think?

- I think that it's an honest name.

- And you are calling this installation?

- Shit.

- Could you tell us why, dear?

- Uh, because that's what it's made of.

This is a show about my life. I've had a shitty life.

And I'm telling it like it is.

- Fascinating, Toni dear.

But if I may ask, this is...

Whose?

- Mine. This is my shit

I want you to look at.

- Show business story. - Definitely.

- Not Shania Twain.

- No. I think Shania just bought a castle in Switzerland.

- That's right. [audience laughing]

- So, it's a political, sports, show business personality?

- Yes.

- From the Valley. - It's not an easy one.

- I'm lost. - So am I.

[bells] - I have to pass.

- Well, since we are running out of time, please turn around now, panel.

And meet international personality, Tina Menzhal!

- Tina! Yes, I remember.

- Yeah. - Interesting choice.

- Wonderful.

- This was the show of the season.

I am telling you. The colors, the lines, the clothes.

Everything was perfect.

We live for shows like this. We really do. It's unbelievable.

Caribe. Caribe. You must be so excited.

- Si. - Of course she's excited.

The world is excited!

A genius of this magnitude only comes along once.

And I'm telling you, we have seen it here tonight!

- The department of transport promised us months ago

to come up with a solution.

But again, we're the last ones to get plowed!

Look. I'm a doctor. I'm on call.

My wife is 8-months pregnant.

It's not the safest situation.

- Thank you. That was great.

- I'm gonna have to get going too.

Don't wait up for me. I'm filling in for Jeff.

See you in the morning.

I love you.

[excerpt from Verdi's La Traviata]

Subtitling: difuze inc.

♪ Evening shadows make me blue ♪

♪ When each weary day is through ♪

♪ How I long to be with you ♪

♪ My happiness

♪ Every day I reminisce

♪ Dreaming of your tender kiss ♪

♪ Always thinking how I miss ♪

♪ My happiness

♪ A million years it seems ♪

♪ Have gone by since we shared our dreams ♪

♪ But I'll hold you again

♪ There'll be no blue memories then ♪

♪ Whether skies are grey or blue ♪

♪ Any place on earth will do ♪

♪ Just as long as I'm with you ♪

♪ My happiness