Original subtitles

1-Adam-12, 1-Adam-12,

possible 459 suspects there now.

1-Adam-12, 1-Adam-12,

a 415, man with a gun.

1-Adam-12, no warrant. Lincoln, X-Ray, Ida 483.

1-Adam-12, a 415, fight group with chains and knives.

A guy I used to room with has this ketch

and he invited me for a three-day sail to Catalina.

Sounds like fun. When you leavin'?

First thing in the morning. What are you gonna do?

Oh, you know, a little painting this

and a little painting that.

Yeah. Great way to spend three days off,

painting.

Little close.

Doesn't look like she's gonna stop.

I'll see if I can change her mind.

Your driver's license, please.

Don't tell me I did something wrong, Officer?

Not very much. You ran a boulevard stop.

You were doing about 50 in a 35-mile zone.

You failed to stop when we signaled you.

And your driver's license has expired.

I thought you were just putting me on.

It happens to me all the time.

You know,

that's why I didn't pull over right away,

and about all those other things, well,

I'm taking Mistinguette to her stylist and I'm late.

You almost hit two cars.

Oh, poo,

screeching their brakes like that.

Trying to scare me, that's all.

What's your present address, Miss Lang?

It's right there.

Number five, Winston Lane.

Do you have a business address?

Business! Who works?

Daddy's in oil,

just dripping with it, like they say.

Wait here, please.

What do you got?

I got a real cute chick who knows it,

and she's trying to dazzle me out of writing her.

Like that, huh?

Well, she is cute.

They always are.

You better run her. The license is expired.

You're not really going to give me a ticket, are you?

Afraid I am.

How square can you get?

Tell you what,

why don't we have dinner tonight

and talk it over.

There isn't anything to talk over.

You've gotta be kidding.

You do understand,

it was a date I was offering you.

How can you not wanna go out with me?

I've cited you to appear on or before this date

at the address indicated. Now if you'll just sign here.

What happens if I don't?

Well, I'll call a Sergeant,

he'll come out and tell you exactly the same thing

I just did.

And if you still refuse, we'll take you to jail.

Jail?

That's right. It's just that simple.

You're really serious, aren't you?

Yes, ma'am. I'm serious.

Well, then,

looks like I just better sign, doesn't it?

Nice gal.

Yeah. Real peach.

Didn't take long to convince her to sign.

I... I guess the word jail has a special ring to it.

That wasn't it.

I think she just got the first real shock of her life.

Huh?

The charm and beauty routine. It didn't work.

All units in the vicinity and 1-Adam-12.

A 459 silent,

2211 North Moorpark.

1-Adam-12 handle Code 2.

1-Adam-12, roger.

Did I forget my pants or somethin'?

Where you been, Pete?

On days off. What's the matter?

How do you figure it?

I mean, I don't see anything so special about him.

Must be his gift of gab.

No, no, no, it's the shaving lotion.

He smells pretty.

No, I think it's, uh, it's something more than that, something special

but I just can't quite put my finger on it.

I know.

It's his baby blue eyes.

Pete, how was Catalina?

It was great, but I think maybe I should've stayed.

Hey, Reed, did your partner cut you in?

On what?

Hey, what's with them? I don't know.

I, uh, checked the box, this is addressed to you.

Me?

No return address.

I wonder, who'd be sending me somethin' here?

Oh, boy.

Hmm.

What do you got, Pete?

Hey, fellas, you gotta look at this.

To Pete with love, Penny.

Now isn't that sweet?

Hey, you guys recognize her?

The bikini's new but it's her all right.

All of her.

What's that supposed to mean?

You mean, that's the girl who's been bugging 'em at the front desk

for three days with, "Where's Pete?

When's he coming back to work? Where's he live?"

Talk about being hung up.

Oh, that's her all right.

Come on, Pete, tell us what's your secret.

I told you, it was his baby blue eyes.

What are you looking for?

Citation book.

Taking it back?

It's going back the same way it came.

U.S. Mail.

Taking the easy way out, huh?

You know a better way?

Sure, deliver it yourself.

That way, you can put it right on the line.

Tell her how the cookie crumbles.

Reed, how do you get so many bad ideas?

I don't think it's such a bad idea.

Oh, boy.

What are you doing here?

Just wanted to see you, Pete. That's all.

That's all, huh?

That's right.

You know you're not allowed back here.

Hey, Pete,

you're on company time, you know.

Well, it beats making radio calls.

You just can't come around here like this.

Oh, don't be silly, I'm not gonna hurt anything.

You've caused enough trouble already,

so why don't you just be a good little girl

and go on home?

See, I've outgrown your kind of games.

You want a bet?

Believe me, I'm not your type.

So would you please just go away?

You're my type all right, Pete.

You just unbend a little

and give me a chance to prove it to you.

No chance.

You're out of your league.

As a matter of fact, we're both out of our leagues.

So why don't we quit while we're still ahead?

Here, you can save me a few stamps.

1-Adam-12, P.M. watch clear.

1-Adam-12, P.M. watch clear.

Talk about a gutsy girl.

I guess that's what money does to some people.

At least she's out of my hair now.

You think you discouraged her, huh?

Sure.

Like the lady said, "You want a bet?"

Seriously, Pete, what do you gonna do

if she didn't get the message?

I mean, if she keeps it up?

You're a regular ray of sunshine, aren't you?

Hey, you're not answering my question.

Don't I know it.

Wanna get somethin' to eat?

No, I'd better get home.

Well, certainly is nice

to see you getting off work on time, Malloy.

You know, I don't know what's going on around here.

I got a feeling you are at the bottom of it.

What's the matter, Ed?

Oh, you know, you know darn well.

I heard that cancellation you got on that prowler call

and you heard them give it us, right?

Yeah, but so what, it's your district.

Yeah. Yeah, it's my district,

but it's your problem.

And her name is Penelope Lang.

Come on, Ed, one prowler call.

Three, three, pal.

Number one, somebody lets the air out of her tires,

so she says.

Number two, somebody steals her garden hose, so she says.

I didn't mind the first call.

And I thought the thing about the garden hose was kind of funny.

But then we got the prowler call,

and I really got it.

Yeah? Yeah.

She got mad. Can you believe it?

She got mad.

She started yellin' at me.

Said she didn't want me to look for her prowler.

Said she was sick and tired of the whole Police Department.

What? Oh, yeah.

Can you believe it?

Oh, but then it all comes out, you see.

She told the complaint board

to be sure and send Officer Malloy.

He's the only one that she has any confidence in.

It's, uh, getting sticky.

Ed, you should've arrested her for making a false complaint.

Oh, yeah, I got a fat chance.

You know how hard that is to prove.

Look, all I want is for it to stop.

And now. Now, I don't know what you got going with her,

but I better not get another call

and find her looking for you.

Ed, did, uh, did she act friendly to you at all?

What do you mean, friendly?

Well, you know, kind of, well, interested?

Oh, interested... like in me?

Well, yeah, kind of.

Uh-uh, no. No, Malloy, it's not gonna happen.

You can kiss your girlfriend's problems off on somebody else,

not me!

I'm not havin' it, you got it?

Hey, wait a minute, Ed.

Maybe you got a few ideas on how to solve this problem for both of you.

Both of us?

It's Malloy's grave. Let him lie in it.

I got work to do.

Work? What kind of work?

Oh, I forgot to tell you the best part.

While I'm inside and she's yelling at me,

some joker sideswipes the black and white.

I only got about two hours of reports to fill out now.

Thanks to you.

If this keeps up,

you're liable to wind up losing a few friends.

Or my mind.

Hey, how was court this morning?

Oh, nothing much. That drunk driver pled guilty.

Our Miss Lang was there, too.

No kiddin', looking for you?

I don't think so.

She paid her ticket and left.

What'd she have to say?

I didn't talk to her.

You mean you saw her but she didn't see you?

I, uh, ducked into the men's room

till after she left.

That's what I'd call facing the issue.

Well, I call it avoiding trouble, smart guy.

You know, she was staked out on the station last night

when we went off.

I spotted her five minutes after I drove out.

Tailing you?

I guess she wanted to find out where I live.

Boy, talk about goin' overboard.

Did you lose her?

Well, yeah, but that was a problem, too.

It took me 30 minutes.

I was dizzy from driving up and down back streets.

I finally shook her by pulling through a drive-in theater.

Hmm, police experience sure comes in handy, huh?

Well, 11:00.

No one's got a call at 5 Winston Lane.

Maybe she gave up.

Optimist.

1-Adam-12, 1-Adam-12, 507 radio.

See the man, 1216 Bushard Street.

Apartment 1401.

1-Adam-12, roger.

Loud radio.

Biggest call all night.

Let's hope it stays that way.

What took you so long?

I called over 15 minutes ago.

What's the problem, sir?

I told them on the phone what was wrong.

It's that stereo music.

No, no, no, it's on the 19th floor.

All the other tenants are complaining.

You are the manager, sir?

The resident superintendent, young man.

The name's Prendle, Milton J. Prendle.

Have you talked to the party making the noise?

I certainly have,

and I must say she was very rude.

She said if I wanted the noise stopped,

I should call the police, and that's why you're here.

I called.

We'll have a talk with her. What's the apartment number?

First, I must admonish you, young man,

to be very discreet.

We cater to nothing but top drawer here.

We want no problems.

What's the number, sir?

1902. A new tenant.

So, please, be tactful.

And gentlemen,

if you come back here again,

don't park out front.

It just doesn't look good.

Glad he called. Gives us a chance to practice our tact.

Hmm, I must say, Malloy,

you exercised extremely poor judgment

by parking out in front.

How could I have been such a fool?

I'll never live it down.

Ah, simply matter of lacking that top-drawer quality.

Either you got it or you don't.

♪♪

Hello!

Who is it?

Police.

Come on in, be right with you.

It's about your record player, could you turn it down?

The manager finally called, huh?

What's that?

I said old Milton finally called.

Oh, boy.

Here we go.

Well,

hi there.

We were called.

Complaints about the noise.

Well, if you want me to keep it down, I'll just do that.

Whatever you say.

How've you been, Pete?

Miss Lang, I wonder...

Penny, call me Penny, Pete.

No, Miss Lang,

and it's Officer Malloy.

I'm a police officer,

I'm here on official business.

So? Go ahead and do your cop thing.

Well,

all of this has gotta stop.

Oh, now, don't get all huffy.

I turned it down, didn't I?

You know what I'm talking about,

the letters, the calls, the whole thing.

How come you're living here, Miss Lang?

Oh, because of your silly districts.

I just moved in today.

Our districts?

Why, yes. This building is in

your reporting district, isn't it?

1-Adam-12.

How did you know that?

Tell you what, Pete, honey,

you come over for dinner tomorrow

and we'll talk about it. How's that?

Now, Miss Lang, I wanna put this nicely.

In the first place, it's against regulations.

We're not allowed to fraternize.

Well now, that's just plain silly.

Who says what you do on your own time?

I do.

Look, I'm not interested.

Can you understand that?

I'm just not interested.

What did I ever do to you?

You're mean and nasty.

Well, Miss Lang, I'm sorry.

Penny.

But that's just the way it is.

You know, I paid the traffic ticket.

I didn't try to make any trouble.

And I appreciate that, really, I do.

Now, if you just promise not to call in anymore?

Makes you problems, huh?

Yes, it does, and you know it.

One date?

No date.

You're putting me down, Pete.

I'm sorry if that's the way you see it,

there's nothing I can do about it,

and there's nothing I wanna do about it.

Now that's the way it is, Miss Lang. Got it?

You're tough, aren't you, Pete?

I mean, really tough.

You know, it's positively fascinating.

Now you listen to me, and listen good.

This act of yours

is about as subtle as a neon sign.

First you tried to con me out of that traffic ticket,

and when it didn't work you got all bent out of shape.

And ever since you been making a big deal out of it.

Now, maybe I'm the first person in your life

that ever said "no" to you,

or maybe you're just tryin' to get a good story

to tell at cocktail parties,

or maybe

you just don't have anything better to do with your time,

but however you wanna slice it,

I'm not gonna play.

See, Miss Lang,

I don't like you.

And what's even more important,

you turn me off.

But good.

Let's go back to work.

Malloy, come on in, will you?

I wanna talk to you for a minute, privately.

I think I'll get the car gassed.

I'll meet you at the pumps. Right.

About this girlfriend of yours, Pete, this Penelope Lang.

Oh, now, wait just a minute, Mac.

She is not, I repeat, not my girlfriend,

no, way.

Okay, if that's your story, maybe I buy it. Maybe.

I'm tellin' you, that's the way it is.

The way it is, Malloy,

this thing has gotten out of hand. Way out of hand.

The Captain brought it up this morning

at the supervisors' meeting,

and I'm telling you he wants it stopped

right now.

Now, look, maybe you're not encouraging this girl,

and again maybe you are, don't realize it.

But whatever the score is,

I'm telling you, get out from under.

It started when I gave her a traffic citation.

The next thing I know, I get a message to call this number.

So I call it.

So I laid it right on the line to her

and there'll be no more problems. I guarantee it.

I hope you're right, Pete.

You don't need this kind of trouble,

and neither does the department.

Pete, come on out in back. Somebody wants to see you,

and Sarge, you don't wanna miss this.

Peter Malloy?

Yes. What is this?

Kendall's the name, Charles Kendall.

King James Foreign Car Agency.

Well, what do you think of her?

She's a real beaut, huh?

Would you like to explain?

Well, there's nothing to explain.

It's yours, all bought and paid for.

Boy, are you a lucky man!

Don't you understand, it's a gift?

Doesn't cost you a dime.

You still can't get used to the shock, huh?

Well, she said it would be a big surprise.

It's a surprise all right.

Now, if you'll just sign here, it's all yours.

I'm not signing anything.

Look, friend, you don't understand.

There's no money involved.

This is just a delivery receipt.

Now, you sign right here... No, you don't understand.

I don't want the car. Take it back where you got it.

Hey, look, friend, I've got a $500 commission

comin' out of this deal.

You got a problem, friend.

How's the book look for a special tomorrow night?

Well, let's take a look.

I see, 18, 20.

Yeah, I can spare you.

Put it down, will you?

Okay, Malloy, you get the day off.

But Pete,

whatever it is you got planned,

I hope it works.

You can count on it.

What are you gonna do?

I'm desperate.

You're gonna transfer?

Worse.

Only one solution left.

I'm just gonna have to take her out.

Miss Lang? Penny?

Oh, this is Pete Malloy.

Yeah.

I was wondering if you were free tomorrow night.

Great, great.

7:00?

All right.

Well, see you then.

Bye.

Boy, the things you do for the job.

Ah.

1-Adam-12, P.M. watch clear.

1-Adam-12, P.M. watch clear.

Ah, Malloy?

Yeah?

You gonna tell me about it?

About what?

Come on. Quit kidding around. How did it go last night?

Well, how did what go?

Your date with Penny Lang. Oh, oh.

You gonna tell me about it or not?

There's not much to tell.

We had dinner, caught a show,

went dancing. Oh, she's a good dancer.

It was a date, you know.

You must remember what they were like.

And that's it?

That's it.

Oh, uh, there is one more little thing.

What?

She's not gonna be a problem anymore.

Not at all.