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1
00:00:02,670 --> 00:00:04,510
This is awesome.
2
00:00:04,572 --> 00:00:07,042
I can't believe this
moment's finally here.
3
00:00:07,108 --> 00:00:10,438
One more mile and my
little boy turns 200,000.
4
00:00:10,511 --> 00:00:13,611
Your baby Fiero's grown
into a really old man Fiero.
5
00:00:13,681 --> 00:00:17,151
And just like an old man,
he leaks fluid, smells stale,
6
00:00:17,218 --> 00:00:18,248
makes weird noises out the back.
7
00:00:18,319 --> 00:00:20,089
(laughing):
Yeah, he does.
8
00:00:20,154 --> 00:00:22,224
Hey, light up those cigars
in the glove compartment.
9
00:00:22,290 --> 00:00:23,590
They're real Cubans.
10
00:00:23,657 --> 00:00:25,887
I got 'em in Chinatown
last year just for this moment.
11
00:00:25,959 --> 00:00:29,159
Uh, Marshall, I'm not saying
you were definitely ripped off,
12
00:00:29,230 --> 00:00:32,530
but, um, these are chopsticks
wrapped in napkins.
13
00:00:32,600 --> 00:00:33,730
What are you talking about?
Whoa,
14
00:00:33,801 --> 00:00:34,771
pothole.
What? No.
15
00:00:34,835 --> 00:00:36,735
Oh. No.
16
00:00:36,804 --> 00:00:38,174
No, no,
n-n-n-no.
17
00:00:38,239 --> 00:00:39,709
No, there's only
.8 miles to go.
18
00:00:39,773 --> 00:00:40,813
Come on, buddy.
19
00:00:40,874 --> 00:00:42,144
Buddy!
20
00:00:42,210 --> 00:00:45,280
(engine stops running)
21
00:00:47,248 --> 00:00:49,418
Is it cool
if I still light these?
22
00:01:07,201 --> 00:01:09,271
TED:
Kids, sometimes life forces us
23
00:01:09,337 --> 00:01:11,167
to be someone
we didn't want to be.
24
00:01:11,239 --> 00:01:13,239
When that happens,
we often try to hold on
25
00:01:13,307 --> 00:01:15,707
to a little piece
of who we were.
26
00:01:15,776 --> 00:01:17,846
Maybe a tattoo.
27
00:01:17,911 --> 00:01:19,311
Or a piece of jewelry.
28
00:01:19,380 --> 00:01:20,750
A tiny souvenir
that reminds us,
29
00:01:20,814 --> 00:01:23,284
"This is who I really am."
30
00:01:23,351 --> 00:01:25,291
Marshall's souvenir
was not so tiny,
31
00:01:25,353 --> 00:01:26,493
but the more he found himself
32
00:01:26,554 --> 00:01:28,324
being pushed
toward the corporate world
33
00:01:28,389 --> 00:01:31,189
and away from his dream
of saving the environment,
34
00:01:31,259 --> 00:01:33,529
the tighter he held on
to that Fiero.
35
00:01:33,594 --> 00:01:35,304
Hey.
36
00:01:35,363 --> 00:01:36,533
One good thing:
we're off the hook
37
00:01:36,597 --> 00:01:38,367
for the folding party today.
Hey.
38
00:01:38,432 --> 00:01:41,372
It's very important
to both Lily and me
39
00:01:41,435 --> 00:01:43,335
that there be
a handmade origami crane
40
00:01:43,404 --> 00:01:44,474
in each of our wedding's...
41
00:01:44,538 --> 00:01:45,838
(laughing)
42
00:01:45,906 --> 00:01:48,236
I couldn't even get
through it. Thank God.
43
00:01:48,309 --> 00:01:50,009
Hey, your car's going
to be fine.
44
00:01:50,077 --> 00:01:51,977
This is
the best auto shop around.
45
00:01:52,045 --> 00:01:53,605
Look at this certificate.
46
00:01:53,681 --> 00:01:57,821
One of the mechanics here
finished a 64-ounce steak.
47
00:01:58,952 --> 00:02:00,192
Surprise.
48
00:02:00,254 --> 00:02:01,994
We felt bad
that you guys were missing
49
00:02:02,055 --> 00:02:04,085
the super-fun
origami folding party,
50
00:02:04,158 --> 00:02:06,128
so we suggested moving it here.
51
00:02:06,194 --> 00:02:07,834
We insisted.
52
00:02:07,895 --> 00:02:09,955
Terrific.
53
00:02:10,030 --> 00:02:11,030
How's the Fiero?
54
00:02:11,098 --> 00:02:12,768
She's still in triage.
55
00:02:12,833 --> 00:02:13,933
She?
56
00:02:14,001 --> 00:02:15,341
I thought it was
your little boy.
57
00:02:15,403 --> 00:02:16,943
Oh, it goes
back and forth.
58
00:02:17,004 --> 00:02:18,674
It's sort of
a tranny car.
59
00:02:18,739 --> 00:02:22,439
How long have you had her...
slash him?
60
00:02:22,510 --> 00:02:25,250
My brothers handed it down
to me when I was 16.
61
00:02:25,313 --> 00:02:26,683
Oh, how nice of them.
62
00:02:26,747 --> 00:02:28,977
Not really.
63
00:02:29,049 --> 00:02:30,179
Congratulations.
64
00:02:30,251 --> 00:02:31,851
The Fiero
is yours.
65
00:02:31,919 --> 00:02:33,689
(laughs)
66
00:02:34,455 --> 00:02:36,615
If you pass the final test.
67
00:02:36,690 --> 00:02:38,160
Come on!
68
00:02:38,226 --> 00:02:39,326
I already shaved my legs
69
00:02:39,393 --> 00:02:41,903
and swallowed five dollars
in quarters.
70
00:02:41,962 --> 00:02:43,862
Only $4.50 has come out.
71
00:02:45,098 --> 00:02:46,598
Just go to the
Weinerburger drive-thru
72
00:02:46,667 --> 00:02:48,167
and get us 12
cups of coffee.
73
00:02:48,236 --> 00:02:50,036
That's it?
74
00:02:50,103 --> 00:02:51,043
Oh, yeah.
75
00:02:51,104 --> 00:02:52,914
But we get to decide
what you wear.
76
00:02:52,973 --> 00:02:55,643
Agreed.
77
00:02:55,709 --> 00:02:58,179
Totally agreed.
78
00:02:58,246 --> 00:03:01,646
* I would walk 500 miles... *
79
00:03:01,715 --> 00:03:03,345
You're naked.
80
00:03:03,417 --> 00:03:06,187
I'm aware of that.
81
00:03:07,154 --> 00:03:09,094
* ...who'd walk 5,000 miles... *
82
00:03:09,156 --> 00:03:10,616
You have 50 cents?
83
00:03:12,626 --> 00:03:14,556
No...
84
00:03:14,628 --> 00:03:16,498
Look, can I just have
my coffee, please?
85
00:03:16,564 --> 00:03:18,904
Sorry, we're all out
of trays and lids.
86
00:03:18,966 --> 00:03:21,266
Two tall guys just came
through here a few minutes ago
87
00:03:21,335 --> 00:03:22,565
and bought 'em all.
88
00:03:22,636 --> 00:03:24,636
(shudders)
89
00:03:27,107 --> 00:03:28,637
(groaning):
Oh.
90
00:03:32,846 --> 00:03:34,176
(both yelling)
91
00:03:34,248 --> 00:03:37,688
(screaming)
92
00:03:37,751 --> 00:03:40,021
(both laughing)
93
00:03:40,087 --> 00:03:41,047
And that is
the origin
94
00:03:41,121 --> 00:03:44,121
of Marshall's insane "no food
or drinks in the Fiero,
95
00:03:44,191 --> 00:03:45,461
not even groceries" rule.
96
00:03:45,526 --> 00:03:47,756
It is not insane.
Barney.
97
00:03:47,828 --> 00:03:50,928
That's like the third one
in a row that you've screwed up.
98
00:03:50,998 --> 00:03:53,368
Well, I'm trying, but it's...
Look.
99
00:03:53,434 --> 00:03:55,444
You fold twice to the middle,
fold back and forth,
100
00:03:55,503 --> 00:03:57,743
pull the ends out,
flip over, open the flaps,
101
00:03:57,805 --> 00:03:59,405
fold the edges,
crease the front,
102
00:03:59,473 --> 00:04:00,813
fold in half,
fold the wings down,
103
00:04:00,874 --> 00:04:03,484
push in the bottom corners,
and fold the wings back out.
104
00:04:03,544 --> 00:04:06,314
Or would you like one of
my kindergartners to show you?
105
00:04:06,380 --> 00:04:08,180
Wait, wait, wait.
106
00:04:08,248 --> 00:04:09,748
Wait, I think I've got it.
107
00:04:09,817 --> 00:04:11,017
(grumbling)
108
00:04:11,084 --> 00:04:12,894
No.
109
00:04:12,953 --> 00:04:14,823
Forget it; the
paper's too expensive.
110
00:04:14,888 --> 00:04:15,788
You're out.
111
00:04:15,856 --> 00:04:18,326
Aw, nerts.
112
00:04:20,294 --> 00:04:22,134
The food rule is
insane.
113
00:04:22,195 --> 00:04:23,425
We could have died
because of it.
114
00:04:23,497 --> 00:04:24,827
Remember the 100K fiasco?
115
00:04:24,898 --> 00:04:26,328
Ah, the Fiero-asco.
116
00:04:26,400 --> 00:04:28,170
Dude, I told you
that doesn't work.
117
00:04:28,235 --> 00:04:29,635
It's the 100K fiasco.
118
00:04:29,703 --> 00:04:31,273
What's the 100K fiasco?
119
00:04:31,339 --> 00:04:32,509
The Fiero-asco?
120
00:04:32,573 --> 00:04:34,483
It was just
before winter break
121
00:04:34,542 --> 00:04:35,482
our freshman year
of college.
122
00:04:35,543 --> 00:04:36,583
Marshall and I
were roommates,
123
00:04:36,644 --> 00:04:37,814
but we weren't
really good friends yet.
124
00:04:37,878 --> 00:04:40,308
I thought Ted was a
little bit pretentious.
125
00:04:40,381 --> 00:04:42,851
And Marshall was
a total slob.
126
00:04:42,916 --> 00:04:45,046
Hey.
127
00:04:45,118 --> 00:04:46,418
Um... I'm
driving
128
00:04:46,487 --> 00:04:47,917
my Fiero back
over break.
129
00:04:47,988 --> 00:04:50,688
I know we see enough
of each other as it is,
130
00:04:50,758 --> 00:04:53,428
but, uh, if you want a ride,
I could use the gas money.
131
00:04:53,494 --> 00:04:54,464
You live in Ohio, right?
132
00:04:54,528 --> 00:04:55,998
I could swing through
and pick you up.
133
00:04:56,063 --> 00:04:59,833
All right, first of all,
my parents live in Ohio.
134
00:04:59,900 --> 00:05:01,740
I live in the moment.
135
00:05:01,802 --> 00:05:03,202
Plus,
136
00:05:03,270 --> 00:05:05,340
Karen and I haven't seen
each other since Thanksgiving.
137
00:05:05,406 --> 00:05:06,866
I mean, we're both
really invested
138
00:05:06,940 --> 00:05:09,040
in making this
long-distance thing work, so...
139
00:05:09,109 --> 00:05:11,649
All right, well, call me
if you change your mind.
140
00:05:11,712 --> 00:05:13,812
My odometer's going to hit 100K.
141
00:05:13,881 --> 00:05:15,381
(laughing):
No.
142
00:05:15,449 --> 00:05:18,489
She'd be so bummed
if I left early.
143
00:05:18,552 --> 00:05:21,422
It was totally mutual.
144
00:05:21,489 --> 00:05:23,659
I mean, Karen brought it up
first, but I...
145
00:05:23,724 --> 00:05:25,364
it was...
it was totally mutual.
146
00:05:25,426 --> 00:05:26,956
* When I wake up... *
147
00:05:27,027 --> 00:05:28,827
I hear you.
148
00:05:28,896 --> 00:05:30,426
So what's up with you and Lily?
Anything serious?
149
00:05:30,498 --> 00:05:32,428
(scoffing):
Yeah.
150
00:05:32,500 --> 00:05:33,670
Dude, we're
college freshmen.
151
00:05:33,734 --> 00:05:35,174
I'm not going
to get tied down
152
00:05:35,235 --> 00:05:36,765
by the first chick
I hook up with.
153
00:05:36,837 --> 00:05:41,037
Lily's cool, but this bird
you'll never chain, you know?
154
00:05:41,108 --> 00:05:44,038
The next few hours of our drive
were classic road trip.
155
00:05:44,111 --> 00:05:47,151
* I would walk 500 miles *
156
00:05:47,214 --> 00:05:48,624
* And I would walk... *
157
00:05:48,682 --> 00:05:49,922
* ...Know I'm gonna be *
158
00:05:49,983 --> 00:05:52,293
* I'm gonna be the man
who's walking... *
159
00:05:52,352 --> 00:05:54,492
* La-da-la-da-la-
da-la-da-da... *
160
00:05:54,555 --> 00:05:57,285
So... this song.
161
00:05:57,357 --> 00:05:59,527
Oh, it's the best
song in the world.
162
00:05:59,593 --> 00:06:00,963
It's the only
song I like.
163
00:06:02,295 --> 00:06:03,655
Just kidding.
164
00:06:03,731 --> 00:06:06,331
Tape's been stuck in the
player for, like, two years.
165
00:06:06,400 --> 00:06:07,740
Better than
nothing, though.
166
00:06:07,801 --> 00:06:10,541
Maybe.
167
00:06:10,604 --> 00:06:12,374
* Da-la-da, da-la-da *
* Da-la-da, da-la-da *
168
00:06:12,440 --> 00:06:14,010
* Da-la-da *
* Da-la-da *
169
00:06:14,074 --> 00:06:17,114
* Da-da-da-da-la-
da-la-da-la-da-la! *
170
00:06:17,177 --> 00:06:19,447
(song starts over)
171
00:06:19,513 --> 00:06:23,323
I am so... sick...
of this song.
172
00:06:23,383 --> 00:06:24,493
* When I wake up... *
173
00:06:24,552 --> 00:06:26,292
Don't worry. It
comes around again.
174
00:06:26,353 --> 00:06:28,123
What do you mean?
175
00:06:28,188 --> 00:06:32,588
BOTH:
* Just to be the man
who walks 1,000 miles *
176
00:06:32,660 --> 00:06:37,670
* And falls down
at your door... *
177
00:06:37,731 --> 00:06:39,631
Ooh.
178
00:06:39,700 --> 00:06:40,930
Yeah, we totally
nailed the ending.
179
00:06:41,001 --> 00:06:43,341
Yeah, that was probably,
like, our best one.
180
00:06:43,403 --> 00:06:44,843
Hey, you want
to play Zitch Dog?
181
00:06:44,905 --> 00:06:46,105
What?
182
00:06:46,173 --> 00:06:47,113
Uh, it's a car game.
183
00:06:47,174 --> 00:06:48,114
Every time you see
a dog,
184
00:06:48,175 --> 00:06:49,705
you got to be the first one
to say, "Zitch dog."
185
00:06:49,777 --> 00:06:51,137
Mm.
I'm pretty good, so...
186
00:06:51,211 --> 00:06:52,751
Zitch dog.
Uh...
187
00:06:52,813 --> 00:06:54,853
Well, no, I didn't know
we had... we'd started,
188
00:06:54,915 --> 00:06:56,445
but, uh, okay,
that's cool.
189
00:06:56,517 --> 00:06:58,317
You got the first point.
190
00:06:58,385 --> 00:06:59,945
Zitch dog.
Zitch dog.
191
00:07:00,020 --> 00:07:01,990
Damn it!
192
00:07:02,055 --> 00:07:03,115
Are we still playing?
193
00:07:03,190 --> 00:07:04,390
'Cause I wasn't...
I wasn't really...
194
00:07:04,458 --> 00:07:05,658
12-nothing.
195
00:07:05,726 --> 00:07:07,896
(whispers):
Marshall.
196
00:07:11,865 --> 00:07:13,025
Marshall.
197
00:07:13,100 --> 00:07:14,400
Zitch dog,
blue Suburban.
198
00:07:14,468 --> 00:07:15,398
Damn it!
199
00:07:15,469 --> 00:07:16,869
18-nothing.
200
00:07:18,371 --> 00:07:20,611
TED:
Then Marshall, who was so busy
cheating at Zitch Dog,
201
00:07:20,674 --> 00:07:22,214
got us totally lost.
202
00:07:22,275 --> 00:07:23,505
Where the hell
are we?!
203
00:07:23,577 --> 00:07:25,247
MARSHALL:
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
204
00:07:25,312 --> 00:07:26,352
Hold on.
205
00:07:26,413 --> 00:07:28,253
I think you
skipped something.
206
00:07:28,315 --> 00:07:29,245
Really?
207
00:07:29,316 --> 00:07:31,046
Seems impossible.
208
00:07:31,819 --> 00:07:33,989
Hey, we got
some time.
209
00:07:34,054 --> 00:07:35,824
What do you say we
get off the highway,
210
00:07:35,889 --> 00:07:38,459
take the road less
traveled, you know?
211
00:07:38,526 --> 00:07:40,886
Robert Frost.
212
00:07:40,961 --> 00:07:42,831
Doesn't seem like
a smart idea.
213
00:07:42,896 --> 00:07:44,126
Too late.
214
00:07:44,197 --> 00:07:46,267
I'm taking
this exit.
215
00:07:46,333 --> 00:07:49,943
Who's not fun enough now, Karen?
216
00:07:51,438 --> 00:07:52,808
MARSHALL:
Then we got lost.
217
00:07:52,873 --> 00:07:54,743
Where the
hell are we?!
218
00:07:54,808 --> 00:07:55,938
I'm pulling over.
219
00:07:56,009 --> 00:07:57,749
No, keep driving.
We're almost out of gas,
220
00:07:57,811 --> 00:08:00,051
and we might not even
be on a road anymore.
221
00:08:00,113 --> 00:08:01,053
It's below zero out.
222
00:08:01,114 --> 00:08:03,354
If we pull over, we could be
snowed in for days.
223
00:08:03,416 --> 00:08:04,476
Plus, I only have, like,
224
00:08:04,552 --> 00:08:05,692
six granola bars
and three bottles of water.
225
00:08:05,753 --> 00:08:07,523
Nah, I threw
them out.
What?!
226
00:08:07,588 --> 00:08:10,518
No food or drink
in the Fiero.
227
00:08:10,591 --> 00:08:13,831
No food or drink
in the F...?
228
00:08:13,894 --> 00:08:15,364
You haven't washed your sheets
since orientation!
229
00:08:15,428 --> 00:08:18,968
TED:
Thus began the longest night
of our lives.
230
00:08:22,570 --> 00:08:26,310
Pretty sure that my foot
is frozen s-solid.
231
00:08:26,373 --> 00:08:28,813
Marshall...
232
00:08:28,876 --> 00:08:29,976
there's a very real chance
233
00:08:30,043 --> 00:08:32,883
that we're gonna be
snowed in here for days.
234
00:08:32,946 --> 00:08:36,046
If I die first, do whatever
you need to survive.
235
00:08:36,116 --> 00:08:37,546
Eat my flesh.
236
00:08:37,618 --> 00:08:40,318
Slice me open like
a tauntaun, whatever.
237
00:08:40,387 --> 00:08:42,557
Thanks, Ted.
238
00:08:42,623 --> 00:08:45,033
You're a
good friend.
239
00:08:45,092 --> 00:08:48,302
And if I die first, you
just leave my body alone.
240
00:08:48,361 --> 00:08:49,761
What?
241
00:08:49,830 --> 00:08:52,170
I just said you could
cut me open and crawl inside me.
242
00:08:52,232 --> 00:08:54,402
Yeah, don't do any of that stuff
to me; it skeeves me out.
243
00:08:54,467 --> 00:08:56,737
But... but you're dead,
and I'm gonna die if I don't.
244
00:08:56,804 --> 00:09:00,644
Wasn't an easy
decision.
245
00:09:00,708 --> 00:09:04,308
This is all because
of your insane no-food rule.
246
00:09:04,377 --> 00:09:05,977
It's perfectly
rational.
247
00:09:06,046 --> 00:09:07,006
(grunts)
248
00:09:07,080 --> 00:09:08,880
(both grunting)
249
00:09:09,983 --> 00:09:11,083
Hey!
250
00:09:11,151 --> 00:09:13,651
My spectacles!
251
00:09:18,258 --> 00:09:20,528
Hey.
252
00:09:20,594 --> 00:09:23,134
I know we're low on gas,
253
00:09:23,196 --> 00:09:26,166
but can we turn on the heat
for just a minute?
254
00:09:28,268 --> 00:09:30,638
Okay.
255
00:09:30,704 --> 00:09:32,444
* Da-da-da, da-da-da *
256
00:09:32,505 --> 00:09:34,705
* Da-da-da,
da-da-da *
257
00:09:34,775 --> 00:09:35,675
* Undela, undela, undela *
258
00:09:35,743 --> 00:09:36,913
(music stops)
259
00:09:39,613 --> 00:09:40,483
Dude...
260
00:09:40,547 --> 00:09:42,747
I hate to
say this...
261
00:09:44,685 --> 00:09:46,815
but it's
so cold...
262
00:09:46,887 --> 00:09:48,057
there's only one way
263
00:09:48,121 --> 00:09:50,121
that we're gonna make it
through this night.
264
00:09:56,463 --> 00:09:58,073
We should've
kept driving.
265
00:09:58,131 --> 00:09:59,101
Come on, Marshall.
266
00:09:59,166 --> 00:10:00,596
No. No.
267
00:10:00,668 --> 00:10:02,668
We might die now.
268
00:10:02,736 --> 00:10:05,536
I may never
see Lily again.
269
00:10:05,605 --> 00:10:09,035
I never told
anybody this, but...
270
00:10:09,109 --> 00:10:12,379
I've known for a long time
that I'm gonna marry that girl.
271
00:10:12,445 --> 00:10:16,075
If we survive this,
someday I'm gonna marry her.
272
00:10:18,051 --> 00:10:21,421
I'm sorry about
your spectacles.
273
00:10:21,488 --> 00:10:23,418
That's okay.
274
00:10:23,490 --> 00:10:25,360
They were decorative.
275
00:10:30,597 --> 00:10:32,427
Hey, Marshall.
276
00:10:32,499 --> 00:10:34,629
Yeah?
277
00:10:34,702 --> 00:10:37,142
Are you still
thinking about Lily?
278
00:10:37,204 --> 00:10:39,174
Yeah.
279
00:10:39,239 --> 00:10:41,239
Please stop.
280
00:10:43,576 --> 00:10:45,076
TED:
And so Marshall and I thought
281
00:10:45,145 --> 00:10:47,545
we were gonna die out there
in the middle of nowhere.
282
00:10:47,614 --> 00:10:49,824
But, funny thing...
283
00:10:58,091 --> 00:10:59,061
Hey.
284
00:10:59,126 --> 00:11:01,386
You lovers better
just keep on driving.
285
00:11:01,461 --> 00:11:02,861
(barking)
286
00:11:02,930 --> 00:11:03,730
(Marshall and Ted screaming)
287
00:11:03,797 --> 00:11:05,127
Zitch dog!
288
00:11:05,198 --> 00:11:06,198
Damn it!
289
00:11:06,266 --> 00:11:07,666
(both screaming)
290
00:11:07,735 --> 00:11:10,695
You said you were gonna
marry me that long ago?
291
00:11:10,771 --> 00:11:13,141
That is so sweet.
292
00:11:13,206 --> 00:11:15,736
That trip is when Marshall and I
became best friends.
293
00:11:15,809 --> 00:11:18,009
With privileges,
from the sound of it.
294
00:11:19,346 --> 00:11:20,376
Eriksen.
295
00:11:42,035 --> 00:11:43,635
Wow.
296
00:11:43,703 --> 00:11:45,673
Looks like he really
needs a hug.
297
00:11:45,739 --> 00:11:47,939
Ted.
298
00:11:54,948 --> 00:11:56,078
(clears throat)
299
00:11:56,149 --> 00:11:58,949
He said it would be
at least 3,000 bucks
300
00:11:59,019 --> 00:12:00,849
to make it
run again.
301
00:12:00,921 --> 00:12:03,091
And even then,
there's no guarantee.
302
00:12:03,156 --> 00:12:04,556
Well, it's
a pretty old car.
303
00:12:04,624 --> 00:12:05,734
ROBIN:
Yeah.
304
00:12:05,793 --> 00:12:07,463
You can keep
prolonging its life,
305
00:12:07,527 --> 00:12:10,457
but it's really mostly
machine at this point.
306
00:12:12,632 --> 00:12:13,932
I know that it's
a lot of money,
307
00:12:14,001 --> 00:12:15,201
but it's my Fiero.
308
00:12:15,268 --> 00:12:16,598
You know?
309
00:12:16,669 --> 00:12:21,039
I'm about to graduate and take
some sellout corporate law job,
310
00:12:21,108 --> 00:12:23,378
and without that Fiero,
I'm just another guy in a suit.
311
00:12:23,443 --> 00:12:24,313
How dare you...
312
00:12:24,377 --> 00:12:26,177
Hey.
313
00:12:26,246 --> 00:12:28,776
I've been through
so much in that car.
314
00:12:28,849 --> 00:12:30,649
The suicidal cat.
315
00:12:30,717 --> 00:12:32,147
(cat shrieking)
316
00:12:32,219 --> 00:12:33,789
(loud bang)
317
00:12:33,854 --> 00:12:35,294
Hitchhiking Waldo.
318
00:12:39,592 --> 00:12:40,632
The homeless guy
319
00:12:40,693 --> 00:12:42,033
who broke in through
the window
320
00:12:42,095 --> 00:12:43,855
and threw up all over
the backseat.
321
00:12:43,931 --> 00:12:45,331
(coughing)
Lily, don't.
322
00:12:45,398 --> 00:12:47,298
Be strong. Do not go all
"prisoner's dilemma" on me.
323
00:12:47,367 --> 00:12:49,067
The car's on
its deathbed, Robin.
324
00:12:49,136 --> 00:12:50,566
I have to clear my conscience.
325
00:12:50,637 --> 00:12:52,567
Guys, what are you
talking about?
326
00:12:52,639 --> 00:12:53,709
Okay.
327
00:12:53,773 --> 00:12:56,243
Shortly after we met Robin,
328
00:12:56,309 --> 00:12:59,179
she and I were jonesing for
Thai food from this one place.
329
00:12:59,246 --> 00:13:01,006
An hour and a
half delivery.
330
00:13:01,081 --> 00:13:02,181
We can't wait
that long.
331
00:13:02,249 --> 00:13:03,879
I wish we could take the Fiero,
332
00:13:03,951 --> 00:13:06,851
but Marshall has
this insane no-food rule.
333
00:13:06,920 --> 00:13:08,420
But Thai food, Lily.
334
00:13:08,488 --> 00:13:10,318
Pad Yum Mao.
335
00:13:10,390 --> 00:13:12,160
Tom Kai Gah.
336
00:13:12,225 --> 00:13:13,455
Thai See Ran.
337
00:13:13,526 --> 00:13:15,626
Oh! You're just saying
random syllables,
338
00:13:15,695 --> 00:13:17,125
and it still sounds delicious.
339
00:13:17,197 --> 00:13:18,497
Okay.
340
00:13:18,565 --> 00:13:19,825
Here's what we'll do.
341
00:13:19,900 --> 00:13:21,600
We'll drive over, pick it up,
342
00:13:21,668 --> 00:13:22,998
have them
double-bag it,
343
00:13:23,070 --> 00:13:26,770
very carefully drive it
back here with the windows open,
344
00:13:26,840 --> 00:13:28,740
and he'll never know.
345
00:13:28,808 --> 00:13:30,708
Wow, these brakes
are really sensitive.
346
00:13:30,777 --> 00:13:33,247
Oh, Marshall is
gonna kill me!
347
00:13:33,313 --> 00:13:36,123
This and the difference between
"affect" and "effect"
348
00:13:36,183 --> 00:13:38,193
are, like, the only two things
he's really serious about.
349
00:13:38,251 --> 00:13:39,991
Lily, it's gonna be fine.
350
00:13:40,053 --> 00:13:41,023
No, it's not.
Marshall's gonna freak.
351
00:13:41,088 --> 00:13:42,158
Oh, God, oh, God.
352
00:13:42,222 --> 00:13:43,692
What are we gonna do?
Oh, God, oh...!
353
00:13:43,756 --> 00:13:45,386
Shut up! Now,
listen to me.
354
00:13:45,458 --> 00:13:46,858
The clock is ticking.
355
00:13:46,927 --> 00:13:48,227
Okay, first thing,
we scoop up
356
00:13:48,295 --> 00:13:50,055
all these little pieces
of tofu and cabbage.
357
00:13:50,130 --> 00:13:51,530
Next, what we need
to take care of
358
00:13:51,598 --> 00:13:53,628
are the really messy parts--
the pools that have collected.
359
00:13:53,700 --> 00:13:55,100
We got to soak that soup up.
360
00:13:56,036 --> 00:13:57,836
Last is the smell.
We got to cover up
361
00:13:57,905 --> 00:13:59,165
that Tom Kah Gai.
You mentioned cigars.
362
00:13:59,239 --> 00:14:01,309
There's two in the glove
compartment, but he's been
363
00:14:01,374 --> 00:14:03,384
saving them.
Hand me those
chopsticks.
364
00:14:06,646 --> 00:14:07,946
Mmm.
365
00:14:08,015 --> 00:14:09,815
Hey, how about some tunes?
366
00:14:09,883 --> 00:14:12,323
* Walk 500 miles *
367
00:14:12,385 --> 00:14:13,815
Oh, great song.
368
00:14:13,887 --> 00:14:16,457
* And I would walk 500 more *
369
00:14:16,523 --> 00:14:19,063
These cigars aren't
helping at all.
Yeah.
370
00:14:19,126 --> 00:14:21,456
This was a terrible idea.
371
00:14:21,528 --> 00:14:22,758
Mmm.
372
00:14:22,829 --> 00:14:26,469
Now it just smells
like a homeless guy
threw up in here.
373
00:14:29,002 --> 00:14:30,402
The broken windows?
374
00:14:30,470 --> 00:14:32,710
We had to make it
look realistic.
375
00:14:32,772 --> 00:14:34,142
Well, why did you break
two of them?
376
00:14:34,207 --> 00:14:36,537
Uh, it looked like
fun when she did it.
377
00:14:36,609 --> 00:14:38,479
So I wanted to try.
378
00:14:38,545 --> 00:14:41,305
Can't believe this whole time
it was you guys.
379
00:14:41,381 --> 00:14:43,721
I've been blaming really tanned
dancing leotard guy.
380
00:14:43,783 --> 00:14:47,223
Marshall, I'm so sorry,
but sharing that secret--
381
00:14:47,287 --> 00:14:49,587
that's when Robin and I
became best friends.
382
00:14:49,656 --> 00:14:51,416
Wow.
383
00:14:51,491 --> 00:14:52,431
What a special car.
384
00:14:52,492 --> 00:14:54,562
So, can I crush it
into a little cube yet?
385
00:14:54,627 --> 00:14:55,797
I don't know.
386
00:14:55,862 --> 00:14:56,932
I don't know. I don't know.
387
00:14:56,997 --> 00:14:58,797
BARNEY:
Come on, Marshall.
388
00:14:58,865 --> 00:15:00,165
This is your Fiero.
389
00:15:00,233 --> 00:15:01,903
You know the right thing
to do here.
390
00:15:01,969 --> 00:15:04,599
Wow, Barney, why do you
love that car so much?
391
00:15:04,671 --> 00:15:06,941
Love it?
392
00:15:07,007 --> 00:15:08,677
Hold on a second.
393
00:15:08,741 --> 00:15:09,981
Love it?
394
00:15:10,043 --> 00:15:12,183
I hate it!
395
00:15:13,313 --> 00:15:14,883
What? Why?
396
00:15:14,948 --> 00:15:16,248
Why?
397
00:15:16,316 --> 00:15:17,476
Why?
398
00:15:17,550 --> 00:15:19,390
Why?!
399
00:15:20,687 --> 00:15:22,087
Why?!
400
00:15:22,155 --> 00:15:23,285
Let me tell it.
401
00:15:23,356 --> 00:15:25,926
It was last year
during the transit strike.
402
00:15:25,993 --> 00:15:27,593
Hey.
Hey.
403
00:15:27,660 --> 00:15:28,560
Uh, is Marshall around?
404
00:15:28,628 --> 00:15:30,798
I have a massage in Queens
in half an hour.
405
00:15:30,863 --> 00:15:32,073
I need a ride.
406
00:15:32,132 --> 00:15:33,472
Uh, no, he's at the library
all day.
407
00:15:33,533 --> 00:15:34,433
Just take the keys.
408
00:15:34,501 --> 00:15:36,701
Uh... hey!
409
00:15:36,769 --> 00:15:38,069
Why don't you drive me?
410
00:15:38,138 --> 00:15:39,538
It'll be like a total road trip.
411
00:15:39,606 --> 00:15:40,836
To Queens?
412
00:15:40,907 --> 00:15:43,977
Yeah, we'll get,
we'll get beef jerky, Triscuits.
413
00:15:44,044 --> 00:15:46,854
Uh, actually I have a lot
of work to do, so.
414
00:15:46,913 --> 00:15:48,053
Okay.
415
00:15:48,115 --> 00:15:50,045
Well, anyway, I'll cancel.
416
00:15:50,117 --> 00:15:51,277
See you later.
Wait!
417
00:15:53,286 --> 00:15:55,216
You know how to drive,
right?
418
00:15:55,288 --> 00:15:57,618
What, of course I know
how to drive.
419
00:15:57,690 --> 00:15:58,790
I love driving.
Mm-hmm.
420
00:15:58,858 --> 00:16:00,628
Hitting the road.
421
00:16:00,693 --> 00:16:03,833
Cruising the lanes.
422
00:16:03,896 --> 00:16:05,026
And braking.
423
00:16:05,098 --> 00:16:07,228
Honking. Love it.
424
00:16:08,068 --> 00:16:09,438
Except for lady drivers.
425
00:16:09,502 --> 00:16:12,942
(chuckling):
Don't get me started
on lady drivers.
426
00:16:13,006 --> 00:16:14,306
Which pedal's the gas?
Trick question.
427
00:16:14,374 --> 00:16:15,414
No, it's not.
Yes, it is.
428
00:16:15,475 --> 00:16:17,705
No, it's not.
Middle, left, right?
429
00:16:18,878 --> 00:16:20,878
I never learned how to drive!
430
00:16:20,947 --> 00:16:22,547
I grew up in the city.
431
00:16:22,615 --> 00:16:24,045
I never had a chance.
432
00:16:24,117 --> 00:16:25,517
Well, guess what?
You're getting your chance.
433
00:16:25,585 --> 00:16:27,085
Because I'm going
to teach you.
434
00:16:27,154 --> 00:16:29,464
Barney Stinson,
buckle up.
435
00:16:29,522 --> 00:16:30,862
(sighs)
436
00:16:30,923 --> 00:16:32,093
(sighs)
437
00:16:32,159 --> 00:16:33,229
This isn't right.
438
00:16:33,293 --> 00:16:34,893
God never meant
for us to travel
439
00:16:34,961 --> 00:16:36,001
at such breakneck speeds.
440
00:16:36,063 --> 00:16:37,733
Relax.
441
00:16:37,797 --> 00:16:38,897
You're doing great.
442
00:16:38,965 --> 00:16:41,725
Ignore the old lady on the
rascal; this isn't a race.
443
00:16:41,801 --> 00:16:43,971
D-oh.
444
00:16:44,037 --> 00:16:45,507
Dude, a dog.
445
00:16:45,572 --> 00:16:46,812
Zitch dogs, this.
446
00:16:46,873 --> 00:16:47,913
Or nothing.
Ah.
447
00:16:47,974 --> 00:16:49,214
What do I do?
448
00:16:49,276 --> 00:16:50,576
Tell me what
to do, Ted.
449
00:16:50,643 --> 00:16:51,643
Step on the brakes.
450
00:16:51,711 --> 00:16:53,351
Sometime in the next
20 minutes.
Which?
451
00:16:53,413 --> 00:16:54,353
Which one's the break again?
452
00:16:54,414 --> 00:16:56,224
The left one.
Left. Left, oh, man, left.
453
00:16:56,283 --> 00:16:57,353
I'm totally blanking.
454
00:16:57,417 --> 00:16:59,017
Make the Ls with your hands.
455
00:16:59,086 --> 00:17:01,146
Oh, we're not going
to make it.
456
00:17:01,221 --> 00:17:02,991
* I will walk 500 miles *
(screams)
457
00:17:03,056 --> 00:17:04,286
Why did you just turn
on the radio?
458
00:17:04,357 --> 00:17:06,187
I don't know why I
turned on the radio!
459
00:17:06,259 --> 00:17:07,759
We're going to die.
Tell me what to do, Ted.
460
00:17:07,827 --> 00:17:08,757
Relax. You're
being crazy.
461
00:17:08,828 --> 00:17:09,728
Help me, Ted!
462
00:17:09,796 --> 00:17:11,696
Stop, drop and roll.
I'm being serious.
Stop...
463
00:17:11,764 --> 00:17:14,934
(overlapping chatter)
464
00:17:15,001 --> 00:17:17,441
Screaming is fun!
465
00:17:17,504 --> 00:17:18,744
(screaming)
466
00:17:19,872 --> 00:17:21,842
(yelling)
467
00:17:21,908 --> 00:17:24,108
(screaming)
468
00:17:24,177 --> 00:17:26,007
(sighs)
(laughing)
469
00:17:26,079 --> 00:17:27,079
Oh.
470
00:17:27,147 --> 00:17:28,547
I can't move.
471
00:17:28,615 --> 00:17:31,775
I can't... I can't feel my...
472
00:17:31,851 --> 00:17:33,221
wait.
473
00:17:34,020 --> 00:17:35,690
What?
474
00:17:38,725 --> 00:17:39,825
(sighs)
475
00:17:39,892 --> 00:17:41,332
We're okay.
Oh.
476
00:17:41,394 --> 00:17:43,404
We're okay.
We're okay.
477
00:17:43,463 --> 00:17:45,403
It's a miracle, Ted!
Oh.
478
00:17:45,465 --> 00:17:46,625
Ah. Ah.
479
00:17:46,699 --> 00:17:48,239
Wow.
480
00:17:48,301 --> 00:17:50,541
Sounds like you had some
accident in that car.
481
00:17:50,603 --> 00:17:53,143
Actually, he had two
accidents if you add
the fact that he...
482
00:17:53,206 --> 00:17:54,536
Hummina-hummina-hummina-hummina.
483
00:17:56,609 --> 00:17:59,609
I shouldn't even be here,
thanks to that death trap.
484
00:17:59,679 --> 00:18:01,149
But fate...
485
00:18:01,214 --> 00:18:03,884
fate gave me a second chance.
486
00:18:03,950 --> 00:18:05,290
And helped me realize
487
00:18:05,352 --> 00:18:07,752
that our days on this planet
are too few to squander.
488
00:18:07,820 --> 00:18:11,120
So I decided from that moment on
489
00:18:11,191 --> 00:18:15,331
to continue living life
to its fullest.
490
00:18:15,395 --> 00:18:17,925
So you made
a life-changing decision
491
00:18:17,997 --> 00:18:19,767
to not change your life at all.
492
00:18:19,832 --> 00:18:21,332
True story.
493
00:18:21,401 --> 00:18:22,801
Guys.
494
00:18:22,869 --> 00:18:25,939
This Fiero's meant a lot
to all of us.
495
00:18:26,005 --> 00:18:27,705
Friendships were made.
496
00:18:27,774 --> 00:18:29,084
Adventures had.
497
00:18:29,142 --> 00:18:31,212
Horrors faced.
498
00:18:31,278 --> 00:18:33,948
That's why we have to get rid
of it.
499
00:18:34,013 --> 00:18:34,613
Yes!
500
00:18:34,681 --> 00:18:36,551
What?
What?
501
00:18:36,616 --> 00:18:38,616
It's lived a great life and it
deserves to die with dignity.
502
00:18:38,685 --> 00:18:40,945
But 200,000...
But
503
00:18:41,020 --> 00:18:42,790
that's life. You know?
504
00:18:42,855 --> 00:18:45,325
You never end up where you
thought you wanted to be.
505
00:18:45,392 --> 00:18:46,792
I'm not helping the environment.
506
00:18:46,859 --> 00:18:48,129
Ted's not a philosopher.
507
00:18:48,195 --> 00:18:49,055
Lily's not
508
00:18:49,128 --> 00:18:50,198
not a world-famous artist.
509
00:18:50,263 --> 00:18:51,103
Barney's never driven
510
00:18:51,164 --> 00:18:52,734
more than ten miles an hour.
511
00:18:52,799 --> 00:18:53,829
Robin,
512
00:18:53,900 --> 00:18:56,940
I'm sure, has also experienced
disappointment in her life.
513
00:18:57,003 --> 00:18:58,103
Maybe?
514
00:18:58,171 --> 00:18:59,941
And my Fiero's not a Fiero
515
00:19:00,006 --> 00:19:01,466
that went 200,000 miles.
516
00:19:02,375 --> 00:19:03,775
It's okay.
517
00:19:03,843 --> 00:19:05,113
You know?
518
00:19:05,178 --> 00:19:07,308
Those are old dreams.
519
00:19:07,380 --> 00:19:09,450
We'll get a new car
520
00:19:09,516 --> 00:19:11,276
and we'll fill that one up
with new memories.
521
00:19:11,351 --> 00:19:13,351
And that'll be
the car we had
522
00:19:13,420 --> 00:19:14,750
when we were first married.
523
00:19:14,821 --> 00:19:16,021
When we owned
524
00:19:16,088 --> 00:19:17,418
our first house.
525
00:19:17,490 --> 00:19:19,830
Maybe even the first car
our four kids remember.
526
00:19:19,892 --> 00:19:21,992
Oh, that's so sweet.
527
00:19:22,061 --> 00:19:24,861
The first car
our two kids remember.
528
00:19:27,033 --> 00:19:28,903
Um, I would like
to say good-bye.
529
00:19:32,972 --> 00:19:35,242
(sighs)
530
00:19:37,109 --> 00:19:39,509
(tape ejects)
531
00:19:39,579 --> 00:19:42,279
Oh.
532
00:19:43,850 --> 00:19:46,250
(sighs)
533
00:19:47,987 --> 00:19:49,187
You know what?
534
00:19:49,256 --> 00:19:50,916
This Fiero, it's effected
all our lives.
535
00:19:50,990 --> 00:19:51,790
Affected.
536
00:19:51,858 --> 00:19:52,288
That's what I said.
537
00:19:52,359 --> 00:19:53,889
Just making sure.
538
00:19:53,960 --> 00:19:55,400
Got us all a lot
of places.
539
00:19:55,462 --> 00:19:57,862
I mean maybe it's time
we return the favor.
540
00:19:57,930 --> 00:19:59,800
This Fiero should have
made it to 200,000.
541
00:19:59,866 --> 00:20:00,926
So,
542
00:20:01,000 --> 00:20:02,240
let's get it out that door.
543
00:20:02,302 --> 00:20:03,942
And we'll push it
the last .7 miles.
544
00:20:04,003 --> 00:20:05,073
It'd do
545
00:20:05,137 --> 00:20:06,537
the same for us.
546
00:20:23,956 --> 00:20:25,326
Hey, geniuses.
547
00:20:25,392 --> 00:20:26,662
The back wheels are on blocks.
548
00:20:26,726 --> 00:20:28,326
That car ain't going anywhere.
549
00:20:30,363 --> 00:20:32,063
Close enough!
550
00:20:32,131 --> 00:20:33,971
ALL:
Close enough!
551
00:20:34,033 --> 00:20:36,903
And so Marshall said good-bye
to his Fiero.
552
00:20:36,969 --> 00:20:39,439
And as the car's final gift
to us all,
553
00:20:39,506 --> 00:20:41,806
the money he got for scrap
parts paid our bar tab
554
00:20:41,874 --> 00:20:43,384
for the next two nights.
555
00:20:43,443 --> 00:20:45,413
Arrivederci, Fiero!
556
00:20:45,478 --> 00:20:47,948
You were the freaking
giving tree of cars.
557
00:20:48,014 --> 00:20:49,584
May you rust in peace.
558
00:20:49,649 --> 00:20:52,249
Rot in hell,
devil steed.
559
00:20:52,319 --> 00:20:53,519
(bottles clink)
560
00:20:53,586 --> 00:20:56,586
And what better friend is there
than that?
561
00:21:00,360 --> 00:21:02,130
Hey, man.
Bro.
562
00:21:02,194 --> 00:21:03,504
Have you heard
this new song?
563
00:21:03,563 --> 00:21:04,763
I just got the cassingle.
564
00:21:04,831 --> 00:21:06,671
Put it in.
565
00:21:06,733 --> 00:21:10,203
* I would walk 500 miles... *
Oh!
566
00:21:10,269 --> 00:21:12,309
I am never going to get sick
of this song.
567
00:21:12,372 --> 00:21:15,242
Never, ever, never, never, ever.
568
00:21:15,308 --> 00:21:17,038
Yeah!
35780
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