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1
00:00:01,669 --> 00:00:04,669
TED:
Kids, never underestimate
the power of destiny.
2
00:00:04,705 --> 00:00:06,305
Because when you
least expect it,
3
00:00:06,340 --> 00:00:08,710
the littlest thing
can cause a ripple effect
4
00:00:08,742 --> 00:00:09,782
that changes your life.
5
00:00:09,810 --> 00:00:12,610
Take for instance
my trip to Chicago.
6
00:00:12,646 --> 00:00:15,446
That security guard
was a little bit handsy.
7
00:00:15,483 --> 00:00:17,593
That's funny. She
barely touched me.
8
00:00:17,618 --> 00:00:20,188
Uh, Gate 23.
Come on.
9
00:00:20,221 --> 00:00:22,291
If we miss this flight,
I will never forgive myself.
10
00:00:22,323 --> 00:00:24,593
Why was this flight
so important?
11
00:00:24,625 --> 00:00:28,195
Let's back up a few months
to the fall of 2006.
12
00:00:28,229 --> 00:00:30,359
I had just sold my first
building design
13
00:00:30,398 --> 00:00:33,628
and become the youngest project
manager in my firm's history.
14
00:00:33,667 --> 00:00:35,567
Suddenly I was
being headhunted.
15
00:00:35,603 --> 00:00:37,213
One firm was even
considering me
16
00:00:37,238 --> 00:00:39,368
to run their
entire New York office.
17
00:00:39,407 --> 00:00:41,277
They were flying me in
for a final interview
18
00:00:41,309 --> 00:00:42,739
at their corporate headquarters
in Chicago.
19
00:00:42,776 --> 00:00:45,176
It was the opportunity
of a lifetime.
20
00:00:45,213 --> 00:00:46,883
It was my destiny.
21
00:00:46,914 --> 00:00:48,584
There was just one problem.
22
00:00:48,616 --> 00:00:50,416
Hi, wait, two more.
23
00:00:50,451 --> 00:00:52,591
Sorry, you're too late,
I already shut the doors.
24
00:00:52,620 --> 00:00:55,190
Well, I'm sure if we pull
real hard we can open them.
25
00:00:55,223 --> 00:00:56,993
Hmm, I wish it
worked like that, but see,
26
00:00:57,024 --> 00:00:58,494
once I close
those doors, that's it.
27
00:00:58,526 --> 00:01:00,286
Nobody else is allowed
down that jet-way.
28
00:01:00,794 --> 00:01:01,804
Except for that guy.
29
00:01:03,231 --> 00:01:05,401
Please, if-if
I miss this flight,
30
00:01:05,433 --> 00:01:07,033
I'll miss the chance to
interview for my dream job.
31
00:01:07,067 --> 00:01:08,097
I'm sorry, sir.
32
00:01:08,136 --> 00:01:09,236
His dream job!
33
00:01:09,270 --> 00:01:10,540
Didn't you ever
have a dream job?
34
00:01:10,571 --> 00:01:12,271
Something from when
you were a little girl,
35
00:01:12,306 --> 00:01:13,736
that was all
you wanted to do?
36
00:01:13,774 --> 00:01:15,314
I mean, for God's sakes,
I'm sure you didn't
37
00:01:15,343 --> 00:01:17,313
go to bed at night
dreaming about being a...
38
00:01:18,546 --> 00:01:20,046
I mean, uh...
39
00:01:20,080 --> 00:01:23,120
This is a cool job.
40
00:01:23,151 --> 00:01:24,891
Please, I have to be
on this flight.
41
00:01:24,918 --> 00:01:26,018
I'll see what I can do.
42
00:01:26,053 --> 00:01:27,123
But it doesn't look good.
43
00:01:27,155 --> 00:01:29,355
Thanks.
44
00:01:29,390 --> 00:01:31,160
Your uniforms are pretty.
45
00:01:49,177 --> 00:01:50,407
Okay.
46
00:01:50,444 --> 00:01:51,954
They haven't
armed the doors yet,
47
00:01:51,979 --> 00:01:53,449
so you still have a chance.
48
00:01:53,481 --> 00:01:55,281
It's up to the captain now
and they're calling us back.
49
00:01:55,316 --> 00:01:57,416
Great, please let us know
soon as you hear anything.
50
00:01:57,451 --> 00:01:59,591
Sure, and for the future,
we recommend you arrive
51
00:01:59,620 --> 00:02:02,190
at the airport an hour and
a half before your flight,
52
00:02:02,223 --> 00:02:04,493
not, you know, one minute after.
53
00:02:04,525 --> 00:02:05,885
Normally,
I'm incredibly responsible.
54
00:02:05,926 --> 00:02:07,826
I just had to go to court
this morning and get sentenced.
55
00:02:09,029 --> 00:02:10,799
Not that I'm
a criminal or anything.
56
00:02:10,831 --> 00:02:12,701
Yeah, he just jumped
a subway turnstile.
57
00:02:12,733 --> 00:02:14,273
You seem to have
a lot of problems
58
00:02:14,302 --> 00:02:16,772
with the rules of travel.
59
00:02:16,804 --> 00:02:17,774
(phone rings)
60
00:02:17,805 --> 00:02:18,765
Hello?
61
00:02:18,806 --> 00:02:20,036
Uh-huh.
62
00:02:20,073 --> 00:02:21,243
Uh-huh.
63
00:02:21,275 --> 00:02:23,205
Oh, that is great news.
64
00:02:23,877 --> 00:02:25,547
It's my mom--
she found her missing earring.
65
00:02:25,579 --> 00:02:26,349
Have a seat.
66
00:02:26,380 --> 00:02:27,750
I'll call you
when I hear something.
67
00:02:27,781 --> 00:02:28,681
Where was it?
68
00:02:28,716 --> 00:02:31,516
That thing better
have call waiting.
69
00:02:31,552 --> 00:02:33,352
Could you just
call the firm
70
00:02:33,387 --> 00:02:34,557
and explain what happened?
71
00:02:34,588 --> 00:02:36,318
It's down to three
people and I know
72
00:02:36,357 --> 00:02:37,827
they need to make
their decision today.
73
00:02:37,858 --> 00:02:41,028
I sort of feel my not showing up
might put me at a disadvantage.
74
00:02:41,061 --> 00:02:44,061
(laughing):
I'm so stupid.
75
00:02:44,097 --> 00:02:46,167
Why did I have
to jump that turnstile?
76
00:02:46,200 --> 00:02:48,370
Hey, don't be so
hard on yourself.
77
00:02:49,637 --> 00:02:51,707
And isn't this whole thing
really Barney's fault?
78
00:02:51,739 --> 00:02:53,009
She had a point.
79
00:02:53,040 --> 00:02:54,680
It was kind of Barney's fault.
80
00:02:54,708 --> 00:02:55,538
Remember?
81
00:02:55,576 --> 00:02:56,706
Let's back up a few months.
82
00:02:56,744 --> 00:02:59,384
Oh, Marshall,
how's the broken toe?
83
00:02:59,413 --> 00:03:01,283
Oh, man, it kills.
84
00:03:01,315 --> 00:03:02,715
You want some
aspirin, baby?
85
00:03:02,750 --> 00:03:04,620
You know I don't believe
in pain killers.
86
00:03:07,455 --> 00:03:08,885
Wow, your first
broken bone.
87
00:03:08,922 --> 00:03:10,722
Kind of kills your whole
"Unbreakable" theory.
88
00:03:10,758 --> 00:03:11,728
Marshall used to think
89
00:03:11,759 --> 00:03:13,329
he was indestructible.
90
00:03:13,361 --> 00:03:15,161
Well, it added up.
91
00:03:15,195 --> 00:03:16,255
I've never broken anything.
92
00:03:16,297 --> 00:03:17,327
I've never been sick,
93
00:03:17,365 --> 00:03:18,795
and when I need
to, I can summon
94
00:03:18,832 --> 00:03:20,572
incredible strength.
95
00:03:20,601 --> 00:03:23,141
Ted, tell her the story
of the really heavy door.
96
00:03:23,170 --> 00:03:24,770
There was a really
heavy door.
97
00:03:24,805 --> 00:03:26,635
He opened it.
98
00:03:26,674 --> 00:03:28,114
On one pull.
99
00:03:28,141 --> 00:03:29,441
Whoo!
100
00:03:29,477 --> 00:03:31,677
Well, you must be
really bummed,
101
00:03:31,712 --> 00:03:33,412
you're not gonna
be able to run tomorrow.
102
00:03:33,447 --> 00:03:34,817
Yeah. It sucks,
all that work
103
00:03:34,848 --> 00:03:37,888
I put in training
for the marathon
was a total waste.
104
00:03:37,918 --> 00:03:41,558
Training for a marathon.
105
00:03:41,589 --> 00:03:42,559
What?
106
00:03:42,590 --> 00:03:43,990
You don't need
to train for a marathon.
107
00:03:44,024 --> 00:03:46,034
You just run it.
108
00:03:46,059 --> 00:03:46,989
You're kidding, right?
109
00:03:47,027 --> 00:03:48,257
Not at all.
110
00:03:48,296 --> 00:03:49,596
I could run a marathon
anytime I wanted to.
111
00:03:50,764 --> 00:03:51,704
So like tomorrow,
112
00:03:51,732 --> 00:03:53,132
you think you could
wake up, roll out of bed,
113
00:03:53,166 --> 00:03:54,596
and just run
the New York City Marathon?
114
00:03:54,635 --> 00:03:55,665
Absolutely.
115
00:03:55,703 --> 00:03:58,373
Barney, we're talking
about 42 kilometers.
116
00:03:58,406 --> 00:03:59,866
Thanks, Canada.
117
00:03:59,907 --> 00:04:00,967
I'll take it from here.
118
00:04:01,008 --> 00:04:03,238
Barney, it's
like 26 miles.
119
00:04:03,277 --> 00:04:05,207
Here's how you run a marathon.
120
00:04:05,245 --> 00:04:08,815
Step one, you start running.
121
00:04:08,849 --> 00:04:09,979
There is no step two.
122
00:04:11,118 --> 00:04:12,288
Okay, you know what?
Prove it.
123
00:04:12,320 --> 00:04:13,350
Take my number
124
00:04:13,387 --> 00:04:14,317
and run in my place.
125
00:04:14,355 --> 00:04:15,515
I will bet you
126
00:04:15,556 --> 00:04:18,026
50 bucks you don't
even finish the race.
127
00:04:18,058 --> 00:04:19,558
50 bucks?
128
00:04:19,593 --> 00:04:21,403
Gee, Grandpa, if I win,
129
00:04:21,429 --> 00:04:23,729
maybe I can buy myself
an ice-cream cone.
130
00:04:24,498 --> 00:04:26,428
Make it $10,000.
131
00:04:26,467 --> 00:04:27,467
You have
a gambling problem.
132
00:04:27,501 --> 00:04:28,471
You'll bet me 50.
133
00:04:28,502 --> 00:04:30,342
Fine, then no bet.
134
00:04:30,371 --> 00:04:31,741
Okay, $50.
135
00:04:34,007 --> 00:04:36,777
The next morning,
as the marathon began,
136
00:04:36,810 --> 00:04:38,750
we were focused
on Marshall's computer.
137
00:04:38,779 --> 00:04:40,279
Each runner gets
a tracking chip
138
00:04:40,314 --> 00:04:41,454
so you can follow them online,
139
00:04:41,482 --> 00:04:42,682
see when they pass certain
checkpoints.
140
00:04:42,716 --> 00:04:44,246
Barney's got mine
in his shoe.
141
00:04:44,284 --> 00:04:45,824
Ooh, he's starting!
142
00:04:45,853 --> 00:04:47,893
(chuckling):
This ought to be good.
143
00:04:53,260 --> 00:04:54,960
MARSHALL:
Wow.
144
00:04:54,995 --> 00:04:57,765
He's already passing
the second checkpoint.
145
00:04:57,798 --> 00:05:00,268
This tracking thing
is amazing.
146
00:05:00,300 --> 00:05:01,270
When we get married,
147
00:05:01,301 --> 00:05:03,501
you're getting
one of these.
148
00:05:07,508 --> 00:05:09,308
ROBIN:
Wow.
149
00:05:09,343 --> 00:05:11,143
Look at his time.
It's pretty impressive.
150
00:05:11,178 --> 00:05:13,248
He's gotta be cheating, okay.
151
00:05:13,280 --> 00:05:14,850
He knew we'd check.
152
00:05:14,882 --> 00:05:16,282
Yeah, he'll do anything
to win a bet.
153
00:05:16,316 --> 00:05:17,616
Remember that time
he bet me
154
00:05:17,651 --> 00:05:19,351
that Men at Work sang
"Hungry Like the Wolf,"
155
00:05:19,387 --> 00:05:21,047
and when he found out
that they didn't,
156
00:05:21,088 --> 00:05:22,258
he tried to hire them to?
157
00:05:22,289 --> 00:05:23,659
Well, it looks like,
158
00:05:23,691 --> 00:05:25,791
"Barney" should be coming
over the Queensboro Bridge
159
00:05:25,826 --> 00:05:28,056
and up First Avenue
within the next hour or so.
160
00:05:28,095 --> 00:05:31,525
But... there is no way that
that's really him.
161
00:05:31,565 --> 00:05:32,665
It's really him.
162
00:05:40,574 --> 00:05:43,044
Hey! That's mine.
163
00:05:43,076 --> 00:05:44,776
Yeah, you'd better run!
164
00:05:47,948 --> 00:05:49,678
What up, non-finishers?
165
00:05:49,717 --> 00:05:50,747
Wow.
166
00:05:50,784 --> 00:05:52,494
Amazing.
Wow.
Very impressive, Barney.
167
00:05:52,520 --> 00:05:53,490
Right?
Wow.
168
00:05:53,521 --> 00:05:54,461
Yeah, my time would have been
169
00:05:54,488 --> 00:05:55,758
like a hour an hour better,
170
00:05:55,789 --> 00:05:57,289
but I met this total hottie
on Mile Seven.
171
00:05:57,324 --> 00:05:58,534
We took a quick detour
172
00:05:58,559 --> 00:06:00,629
and had our own mini marathon
behind a Nathan's.
173
00:06:00,661 --> 00:06:01,861
I won.
174
00:06:01,895 --> 00:06:05,695
I'm not sure anyone
in that story is a winner.
175
00:06:07,167 --> 00:06:08,767
So where's my 50 bucks?
176
00:06:08,802 --> 00:06:10,042
All right.
177
00:06:10,070 --> 00:06:11,740
(chuckles)
178
00:06:11,772 --> 00:06:14,112
I got to admit,
you earned this.
179
00:06:14,141 --> 00:06:16,081
Huh?
180
00:06:16,109 --> 00:06:18,879
Can't believe they haven't made
a coin for this yet.
181
00:06:18,912 --> 00:06:20,052
Anyway,
182
00:06:20,080 --> 00:06:21,450
I'm heading home.
183
00:06:21,482 --> 00:06:23,622
Might go hit the gym.
184
00:06:23,651 --> 00:06:25,021
Oh, hey, just so
you know, uh,
185
00:06:25,052 --> 00:06:25,922
all marathon runners get
186
00:06:25,953 --> 00:06:27,593
to use the subway
for free today.
187
00:06:27,621 --> 00:06:30,721
Wow. You know I really should
check out this "subway."
188
00:06:30,758 --> 00:06:32,088
Heard so much about it.
189
00:06:32,125 --> 00:06:33,185
Wow.
190
00:06:33,226 --> 00:06:34,826
Look at me. Slumming it.
191
00:06:34,862 --> 00:06:37,702
Maybe I'll make
a weekend out of it
192
00:06:37,731 --> 00:06:40,271
and I'll call my bridge
and tunnel girl tonight.
193
00:06:40,300 --> 00:06:42,100
You're dating a girl
from New Jersey?
194
00:06:42,135 --> 00:06:43,135
No.
195
00:06:46,640 --> 00:06:48,540
(phone ringing)
So Barney did it.
196
00:06:48,576 --> 00:06:50,506
He actually finished
the marathon.
197
00:06:50,544 --> 00:06:51,954
But a little while later...
198
00:06:51,979 --> 00:06:53,279
I got an interesting
phone call.
199
00:06:53,313 --> 00:06:54,353
Hello?
200
00:06:54,381 --> 00:06:55,581
Ted, it's Barney.
201
00:06:55,616 --> 00:06:58,186
Listen to me, I need you to come
and pick me up on the subway.
202
00:06:58,218 --> 00:06:59,648
What, what are you talking
about?
203
00:06:59,687 --> 00:07:02,017
I was sitting here, totally
minding my own business.
204
00:07:08,261 --> 00:07:10,401
Finisher.
205
00:07:10,430 --> 00:07:13,470
Yeah, you know,
what I mean.
206
00:07:13,501 --> 00:07:14,871
MAN (over P.A.):
86th street.
207
00:07:37,057 --> 00:07:39,157
My legs don't work.
208
00:07:39,192 --> 00:07:40,262
I've already ridden the subway
209
00:07:40,293 --> 00:07:42,333
twice end to end.
210
00:07:42,362 --> 00:07:44,462
I've seen where it turns around.
211
00:07:44,498 --> 00:07:48,538
Ted, you don't ever want to see
where the subway turns around.
212
00:07:49,302 --> 00:07:51,142
Barney's legs won't work.
213
00:07:51,171 --> 00:07:52,411
He's riding the subway
214
00:07:52,439 --> 00:07:53,739
from end to end
because he physically
215
00:07:53,774 --> 00:07:55,344
can't get off the train.
216
00:07:55,375 --> 00:07:57,405
Best 50 bucks
I ever spent.
217
00:07:57,444 --> 00:07:58,614
Listen to me, Ted.
218
00:07:58,646 --> 00:08:00,006
I'm going to lose you
any second.
219
00:08:00,047 --> 00:08:02,347
I'm on the fourth car
of the six train heading south
220
00:08:02,382 --> 00:08:03,952
from Pelham Bay Park
in the Bronx.
221
00:08:03,984 --> 00:08:07,024
Meet me at the 86th Street
station in, like, half an hour?
222
00:08:07,054 --> 00:08:08,064
All right.
223
00:08:08,088 --> 00:08:09,058
I'll be right there.
224
00:08:09,089 --> 00:08:10,089
Stay where you are.
225
00:08:11,925 --> 00:08:13,825
Ted, Ted.
226
00:08:30,578 --> 00:08:32,078
Oh, come on.
227
00:08:32,112 --> 00:08:34,252
You're not even going to
give up your seat for him?
228
00:08:36,083 --> 00:08:38,553
I'm sorry. I can't.
229
00:08:38,586 --> 00:08:40,116
Douche.
230
00:08:56,203 --> 00:08:57,143
Barney?!
231
00:08:57,170 --> 00:08:58,970
Ted!
232
00:09:01,541 --> 00:09:02,481
Hey!
233
00:09:02,509 --> 00:09:05,409
(grunting)
234
00:09:05,445 --> 00:09:09,275
No...!
235
00:09:09,316 --> 00:09:10,576
See?
236
00:09:10,618 --> 00:09:11,948
If Barney never tried
to run the marathon,
237
00:09:11,985 --> 00:09:13,285
you never would have
jumped that turnstile,
238
00:09:13,320 --> 00:09:15,490
you wouldn't have had
that court date today,
239
00:09:15,522 --> 00:09:17,462
and we would have
made this flight.
240
00:09:17,490 --> 00:09:18,660
You're right.
241
00:09:18,692 --> 00:09:20,162
Everything can be traced back
to him.
242
00:09:20,193 --> 00:09:24,533
Like that rash we all got
at Christmas.
243
00:09:24,564 --> 00:09:26,734
All right, I have
to see what's going on.
244
00:09:26,767 --> 00:09:29,167
So I was able
to get you two seats.
245
00:09:29,202 --> 00:09:30,772
Really?
That's great!
No, no, not you.
246
00:09:30,804 --> 00:09:32,574
I'm talking to my mom
about Blue Man Group.
247
00:09:32,606 --> 00:09:33,766
Ma, can I call you back?
248
00:09:34,942 --> 00:09:36,682
Okay, what about our
flight? Can we get on?
249
00:09:36,710 --> 00:09:38,010
I'm still waiting for...
250
00:09:38,045 --> 00:09:39,005
Huh.
251
00:09:39,046 --> 00:09:40,946
Looks like your flight left
already.
252
00:09:40,981 --> 00:09:42,321
What? No, n-n-n-no, n-no.
253
00:09:42,349 --> 00:09:43,579
I have to be in Chicago today.
254
00:09:43,617 --> 00:09:45,287
Well, he never even
called you back?
255
00:09:45,318 --> 00:09:46,918
Well, it's typical pilot.
256
00:09:46,954 --> 00:09:48,964
They don't call you back at work
and they don't call you back
257
00:09:48,989 --> 00:09:51,319
after you spend two nights with
them at a Radisson in Orlando.
258
00:09:56,797 --> 00:09:58,367
It turned out
there was one other flight
259
00:09:58,398 --> 00:10:00,568
that would just barely get me
to Chicago on time
260
00:10:00,600 --> 00:10:02,200
for my job interview,
261
00:10:02,235 --> 00:10:04,665
but it was all the way on
the other side of the airport.
262
00:10:04,705 --> 00:10:06,735
ROBIN:
What was the name
of the airline again?
263
00:10:06,774 --> 00:10:08,544
I think it was something
like Flights R' Us.
264
00:10:08,575 --> 00:10:09,635
Was the "R" backwards?
265
00:10:09,677 --> 00:10:11,977
God, I hope not.
266
00:10:12,012 --> 00:10:14,852
Geez.
Stupid smart carts.
267
00:10:14,882 --> 00:10:16,852
More like dumb carts.
268
00:10:16,884 --> 00:10:19,724
If we miss this flight,
it's all Barney's fault.
269
00:10:19,753 --> 00:10:21,423
You know, Barney never
would have run the marathon
270
00:10:21,454 --> 00:10:24,094
in the first place if Marshall
hadn't broken his toe.
271
00:10:24,124 --> 00:10:25,534
Yeah, so?
272
00:10:25,558 --> 00:10:27,158
What, you think
this is my fault?
273
00:10:28,762 --> 00:10:30,032
For Marshall, the initial idea
274
00:10:30,063 --> 00:10:32,673
to run the marathon came
way back in April.
275
00:10:32,700 --> 00:10:35,070
My pants are starting
to feel a little tight.
276
00:10:35,102 --> 00:10:36,042
Oh, that's okay.
277
00:10:36,069 --> 00:10:38,909
I love that cute
little belly.
278
00:10:43,276 --> 00:10:44,376
I cannot allow this.
279
00:10:44,411 --> 00:10:46,951
What?
280
00:10:46,980 --> 00:10:51,120
I am going to run
the New York City Marathon.
281
00:11:01,028 --> 00:11:02,858
LILY:
"It is important to load up
282
00:11:02,896 --> 00:11:06,496
"on carbohydrates two
to four hours before a big run.
283
00:11:06,533 --> 00:11:07,603
"Try a breakfast
284
00:11:07,634 --> 00:11:09,744
"of a bagel, a banana,
285
00:11:09,770 --> 00:11:12,070
oatmeal, strawberries
and some orange juice."
286
00:11:12,105 --> 00:11:13,635
Here you go,
Marshmallow.
287
00:11:13,673 --> 00:11:15,283
Just like
the book said.
288
00:11:15,308 --> 00:11:16,708
Yeah, but from now on,
289
00:11:16,744 --> 00:11:18,714
I'm eating all of my
breakfast runner-style.
290
00:11:18,746 --> 00:11:20,506
Liquids are
digested faster.
291
00:11:20,547 --> 00:11:22,547
That way, no
energy is wasted,
292
00:11:22,582 --> 00:11:25,322
and it's all
about the run.
293
00:11:25,352 --> 00:11:27,052
(whirring)
294
00:11:49,209 --> 00:11:51,439
(retching)
295
00:11:55,749 --> 00:11:57,079
"Don't forget to
give yourself plenty
296
00:11:57,117 --> 00:11:59,717
of positive
reinforcement."
297
00:11:59,753 --> 00:12:02,893
This is gonna be
your best run yet.
298
00:12:03,824 --> 00:12:08,134
You're going
to accomplish all of your goals.
299
00:12:08,161 --> 00:12:10,161
(staccato rhythm):
You are a robot sent
300
00:12:10,197 --> 00:12:12,797
from the future
to win the marathon!
301
00:12:14,434 --> 00:12:16,904
You are... Marshall.
302
00:12:17,938 --> 00:12:20,768
You are...
Marshall.
303
00:12:20,808 --> 00:12:23,308
You are Marshall!
304
00:12:23,343 --> 00:12:24,813
Yeah!
305
00:12:30,717 --> 00:12:32,747
"Chafing or
blisters can occur
306
00:12:32,786 --> 00:12:34,116
"in a number
of areas,
307
00:12:34,154 --> 00:12:36,364
"including the
feet, armpits,
308
00:12:36,389 --> 00:12:37,889
"or even
the nipples.
309
00:12:37,925 --> 00:12:39,855
"Try using some
petroleum jelly
310
00:12:39,893 --> 00:12:41,433
on the
affected
areas."
311
00:12:41,461 --> 00:12:44,131
(sighs)
312
00:12:44,164 --> 00:12:47,374
(groans)
313
00:12:48,301 --> 00:12:49,371
(panting)
314
00:12:49,402 --> 00:12:51,402
Oh.
315
00:12:52,672 --> 00:12:55,112
Oh...
316
00:12:56,743 --> 00:12:59,013
(panting)
317
00:13:00,180 --> 00:13:01,820
Oh!
318
00:13:01,849 --> 00:13:03,279
Oh, gosh!
319
00:13:03,316 --> 00:13:04,776
(exhales loudly)
320
00:13:04,818 --> 00:13:06,488
Oh.
321
00:13:07,354 --> 00:13:08,524
Oh.
322
00:13:13,060 --> 00:13:14,530
Ah.
323
00:13:14,561 --> 00:13:16,831
Oh!
324
00:13:16,864 --> 00:13:18,174
(exhales)
325
00:13:18,198 --> 00:13:20,998
Dude, you are a terrific runner.
326
00:13:21,034 --> 00:13:22,874
Tomorrow you're gonna run
327
00:13:22,903 --> 00:13:25,513
and finish
the New York City Marathon!
328
00:13:25,538 --> 00:13:27,608
You're the best.
329
00:13:27,640 --> 00:13:29,810
You look good.
330
00:13:31,144 --> 00:13:33,154
Nobody does it
better than you.
331
00:13:33,180 --> 00:13:34,680
Marshall?
Oh, my God!
332
00:13:34,714 --> 00:13:35,824
What? Aah!
333
00:13:35,849 --> 00:13:36,879
(thudding)
334
00:13:36,917 --> 00:13:38,247
So, yes, it was
your fault.
335
00:13:38,285 --> 00:13:40,285
I mean, if you don't
show up at the apartment
336
00:13:40,320 --> 00:13:42,690
in the middle of
the day, Marshall
doesn't break his toe,
337
00:13:42,722 --> 00:13:44,062
Barney doesn't
run in his place,
338
00:13:44,091 --> 00:13:46,031
I don't jump the turnstile
and get a court date,
339
00:13:46,059 --> 00:13:47,959
and we make our flight
in plenty of time!
340
00:13:47,995 --> 00:13:49,495
(thudding)
Oh!
341
00:13:49,529 --> 00:13:50,959
And I don't fall down
342
00:13:50,998 --> 00:13:52,828
and bite my tongue
at the airport.
343
00:13:52,866 --> 00:13:54,426
That really
wasn't my fault.
344
00:13:54,467 --> 00:13:56,167
I wouldn't have walked in
on Marshall
345
00:13:56,203 --> 00:13:57,543
if it weren't for Lily.
346
00:13:57,570 --> 00:13:58,770
Hey, think about it.
347
00:13:58,805 --> 00:14:00,135
Hey, what's going on here?
348
00:14:00,173 --> 00:14:02,743
Oh, looks like
they're camping
out for something.
349
00:14:02,775 --> 00:14:04,305
Yeah, but for what?
I don't know.
350
00:14:04,344 --> 00:14:06,554
Usually there's a
Stormtrooper or
Klingon in line
351
00:14:06,579 --> 00:14:07,579
to give you
some indication.
352
00:14:07,614 --> 00:14:08,954
Hmm.
353
00:14:08,982 --> 00:14:10,722
"Annual wedding dress
blowout.
354
00:14:10,750 --> 00:14:13,620
"Designer sample dresses
up to 90% off.
355
00:14:13,653 --> 00:14:15,023
Whoa.
356
00:14:15,055 --> 00:14:16,785
Doors open tomorrow,
8:00 a.m."
Oh, my God.
357
00:14:16,823 --> 00:14:18,733
Can you believe what
some nut bags will do
358
00:14:18,758 --> 00:14:20,628
to save a few bucks?
Geez.
359
00:14:20,660 --> 00:14:21,900
We have to camp out.
360
00:14:21,929 --> 00:14:23,559
Are you serious?
361
00:14:23,596 --> 00:14:24,796
You don't understand.
362
00:14:24,831 --> 00:14:26,331
This is an amazing sale.
363
00:14:26,366 --> 00:14:29,166
I've heard about it
before, but I never
knew where it was.
364
00:14:29,202 --> 00:14:30,742
(gasps)
We'll have a wedding
dress campout.
365
00:14:30,770 --> 00:14:32,070
It'll be fun.
366
00:14:33,040 --> 00:14:34,710
I can't go.
I've got this thing.
367
00:14:34,741 --> 00:14:37,081
What thing?
A penis.
368
00:14:38,445 --> 00:14:39,505
This is the place.
369
00:14:39,546 --> 00:14:40,776
Oh, wow.
370
00:14:40,813 --> 00:14:43,483
Badgley Mischka!
Melissa Sweet!
371
00:14:43,516 --> 00:14:44,846
(gasping)
Vera Wang!
372
00:14:44,884 --> 00:14:46,894
Oh, Robin, do
you have any idea
373
00:14:46,920 --> 00:14:48,860
what you guys
stumbled onto here?
374
00:14:48,888 --> 00:14:50,518
(giggles)
You said wang.
375
00:14:51,524 --> 00:14:52,964
Oh!
376
00:14:52,993 --> 00:14:54,193
Oh, this reminds me
377
00:14:54,227 --> 00:14:56,997
of the ticket line
to Lilith Fair, 1998.
378
00:14:57,030 --> 00:14:58,730
(laughs)
Only fewer mullets.
379
00:14:58,765 --> 00:15:00,125
You should
feel good.
380
00:15:00,167 --> 00:15:01,867
You're only, like, the tenth
381
00:15:01,901 --> 00:15:03,301
craziest bride
in New York.
382
00:15:03,336 --> 00:15:04,836
(laughs)
383
00:15:04,871 --> 00:15:06,471
(sighs)
384
00:15:06,506 --> 00:15:08,206
Ooh, this is comfy.
385
00:15:08,241 --> 00:15:10,741
We might actually
be able to sleep.
386
00:15:10,777 --> 00:15:12,847
(car alarm blaring)
387
00:15:12,879 --> 00:15:14,079
That's kind of annoying.
388
00:15:14,114 --> 00:15:16,054
Well, I'm sure somebody
will be out here
389
00:15:16,083 --> 00:15:18,293
to turn it off
any minute.
390
00:15:18,318 --> 00:15:20,248
(sighs)
391
00:15:21,454 --> 00:15:23,664
(car alarm blaring)
392
00:15:31,031 --> 00:15:33,071
I don't think
I can take this.
393
00:15:33,100 --> 00:15:35,500
Every time it
turns off, I think,
394
00:15:35,535 --> 00:15:38,765
oh, maybe
it won't turn on again,
395
00:15:38,805 --> 00:15:40,635
but then it does.
396
00:15:40,673 --> 00:15:42,313
Why does it, Robin?
397
00:15:42,342 --> 00:15:45,112
Why does it keep
turning on?
398
00:15:45,145 --> 00:15:46,505
It's gonna be okay,
sweetie. Why...
399
00:15:46,546 --> 00:15:49,546
Why don't we make a game
out of it, okay?
400
00:15:49,582 --> 00:15:51,652
Why don't we sing along?
401
00:15:51,684 --> 00:15:54,154
* Oh, oh, oh, oh!
402
00:15:54,187 --> 00:15:56,017
* Oh, oh, oh, oh!
403
00:15:56,056 --> 00:15:57,356
BOTH:
* Ooh...!
404
00:15:57,390 --> 00:15:58,660
* Ooh!
405
00:15:58,691 --> 00:16:00,931
* Mah, mah, mah, mah...
406
00:16:00,960 --> 00:16:03,300
(crying):
Oh, no.
407
00:16:04,797 --> 00:16:07,427
(alarm continues blaring)
408
00:16:12,172 --> 00:16:14,212
If we get
through this,
409
00:16:14,241 --> 00:16:17,811
I swear I'm gonna live
my life differently.
410
00:16:17,844 --> 00:16:19,714
I just want
to tell my parents
411
00:16:19,746 --> 00:16:22,216
I love them
one more time.
412
00:16:22,249 --> 00:16:23,819
(car alarm chirps)
413
00:16:23,850 --> 00:16:26,350
Morning, ladies.
414
00:16:26,386 --> 00:16:28,156
It's him. It's
the car guy!
415
00:16:28,188 --> 00:16:29,518
Get out of here!
416
00:16:29,556 --> 00:16:30,786
(all shouting at once)
417
00:16:30,823 --> 00:16:32,533
Hey! Ow!
418
00:16:32,559 --> 00:16:34,489
(shouting continues)
419
00:16:39,366 --> 00:16:41,466
TED:
The next morning,
Robin was too tired
420
00:16:41,501 --> 00:16:43,571
to go all the way back
to Brooklyn,
421
00:16:43,603 --> 00:16:46,313
so while I was at work,
she went to crash
422
00:16:46,339 --> 00:16:48,079
at my apartment
for a couple hours,
423
00:16:48,108 --> 00:16:49,178
and that's when...
424
00:16:49,209 --> 00:16:51,239
Nobody does it
better than you.
425
00:16:51,278 --> 00:16:52,678
Marshall?!
Oh, my God!
426
00:16:52,712 --> 00:16:53,682
What? Aah!
427
00:16:53,713 --> 00:16:55,013
(thudding)
428
00:16:55,048 --> 00:16:57,578
So if Lily hadn't dragged me
down to the wedding dress store,
429
00:16:57,617 --> 00:16:59,347
we would have made
the first flight.
430
00:16:59,386 --> 00:17:01,316
Oh, thank God. The
doors are still open.
431
00:17:01,354 --> 00:17:02,794
We made it.
Oh.
432
00:17:02,822 --> 00:17:04,022
Hi. Please.
433
00:17:04,057 --> 00:17:06,487
We really need to
get on this flight.
434
00:17:06,526 --> 00:17:08,156
Oh, my God!
435
00:17:08,195 --> 00:17:11,095
You're that reporter
from Metro News 1.
436
00:17:11,131 --> 00:17:12,601
Yes, yes, I am.
437
00:17:12,632 --> 00:17:14,572
I can't believe
you recognized me.
438
00:17:14,601 --> 00:17:16,301
You did that story on
the giant pizzas, huh?
Yeah.
439
00:17:16,336 --> 00:17:17,666
Would you check to see
440
00:17:17,704 --> 00:17:19,244
if you have
any more seats?
One moment, sir.
441
00:17:20,073 --> 00:17:21,013
Were those
pizzas real?
442
00:17:21,040 --> 00:17:22,280
Come on,
were they?
443
00:17:22,309 --> 00:17:24,009
Robin...
One second, Ted.
444
00:17:24,043 --> 00:17:26,453
Um, you know, a lot
of people ask me that.
445
00:17:26,479 --> 00:17:28,979
The truth is,
the pizzas were real.
446
00:17:29,015 --> 00:17:31,615
Calzones.
Trick photography.
I knew it!
447
00:17:31,651 --> 00:17:34,291
God, it is so nice
to meet a fan!
Ah.
448
00:17:34,321 --> 00:17:36,661
And I would be a fan
of your work
449
00:17:36,689 --> 00:17:39,889
if you could get us two seats
on that next flight.
450
00:17:39,926 --> 00:17:42,456
Well, the, uh,
flight attendants
451
00:17:42,495 --> 00:17:44,455
are just finishing up
their final seat count.
452
00:17:44,497 --> 00:17:46,797
Let me see what
I can find out.
453
00:17:46,833 --> 00:17:48,173
Would it help if I got on
454
00:17:48,201 --> 00:17:49,341
and gave an impassioned speech
about my destiny?
455
00:17:49,369 --> 00:17:52,269
I think it
might hurt.
456
00:17:54,073 --> 00:17:56,283
This is such
a nightmare.
457
00:17:57,210 --> 00:17:58,480
Okay, so we agree?
458
00:17:58,511 --> 00:18:00,911
This goes back to Lily
wanting to camp out
459
00:18:00,947 --> 00:18:02,717
for a wedding dress?
460
00:18:02,749 --> 00:18:04,049
No.
461
00:18:04,083 --> 00:18:05,823
Wait. It goes back further.
462
00:18:05,852 --> 00:18:08,792
Remember why we were eating
hot dogs on the East Side?
463
00:18:08,821 --> 00:18:11,421
(subway car whirring)
464
00:18:14,026 --> 00:18:16,856
(quiet grunt)
465
00:18:17,897 --> 00:18:21,067
1939?!
466
00:18:21,100 --> 00:18:24,470
This penny's
from 1939!
467
00:18:26,973 --> 00:18:28,283
A 67-year-old penny.
468
00:18:28,308 --> 00:18:30,208
Do you realize this
penny was minted
469
00:18:30,243 --> 00:18:31,813
during World War II?
470
00:18:31,844 --> 00:18:33,514
Oh, so was my grandfather,
471
00:18:33,546 --> 00:18:35,316
but that doesn't make him
interesting.
472
00:18:35,348 --> 00:18:37,678
Look, I know a little
something about coins,
473
00:18:37,717 --> 00:18:40,187
and this baby is worth
something to a collector.
474
00:18:40,220 --> 00:18:41,250
No, it's not.
475
00:18:41,288 --> 00:18:42,588
Yes, it is!
You know what?
476
00:18:42,622 --> 00:18:44,392
I'm gonna take
you out to dinner
477
00:18:44,424 --> 00:18:46,394
with the money I get
for this little guy.
478
00:18:46,426 --> 00:18:48,756
And that's exactly what I did.
479
00:18:48,795 --> 00:18:51,155
You're lucky there's still
a place that serves anything
480
00:18:51,198 --> 00:18:52,398
for a dollar fifty.
481
00:18:52,432 --> 00:18:55,302
Hey, that's 150 times
its original value.
482
00:18:55,335 --> 00:18:59,765
Actually, the meal
was only $1.49.
483
00:18:59,806 --> 00:19:01,466
1984.
484
00:19:01,508 --> 00:19:03,678
Hey, in 50 years,
we can get dinner again.
485
00:19:03,710 --> 00:19:04,910
How dare you.
486
00:19:04,944 --> 00:19:06,084
(giggles)
487
00:19:06,112 --> 00:19:07,612
Hey, what's going on?
488
00:19:07,647 --> 00:19:10,117
I don't know. Looks
like they're camping
out for something.
489
00:19:10,149 --> 00:19:11,219
Yeah, but for what?
490
00:19:11,251 --> 00:19:13,191
It was me.
491
00:19:13,220 --> 00:19:15,420
I started this.
492
00:19:15,455 --> 00:19:17,855
If I hadn't picked up that
penny, we wouldn't have gone
493
00:19:17,890 --> 00:19:19,830
to get hot dogs
all the way across town.
494
00:19:19,859 --> 00:19:22,599
ROBIN:
And we wouldn't have seen
that wedding dress store,
495
00:19:22,629 --> 00:19:24,529
Lily wouldn't have wanted
to camp out there,
496
00:19:24,564 --> 00:19:25,874
and I wouldn't have needed
497
00:19:25,898 --> 00:19:27,998
a nap at your apartment
the next day.
498
00:19:28,034 --> 00:19:30,204
TED:
Marshall wouldn't have broken
his toe.
499
00:19:30,237 --> 00:19:32,767
Barney wouldn't have run
the marathon.
500
00:19:32,805 --> 00:19:34,605
I wouldn't have jumped
that turnstile,
501
00:19:34,641 --> 00:19:36,841
gotten arrested,
had that court date...
502
00:19:36,876 --> 00:19:39,076
And we would have
made our flight.
Oh!
503
00:19:39,111 --> 00:19:41,581
I don't think we
can go back any
further than that
504
00:19:41,614 --> 00:19:43,224
unless you know who
dropped the penny.
505
00:19:43,250 --> 00:19:44,620
I wish I did.
506
00:19:44,651 --> 00:19:46,551
Though that person's already
been punished enough,
507
00:19:46,586 --> 00:19:50,216
losing a sweet penny
like that.
508
00:19:50,257 --> 00:19:51,587
Uh, sir?
509
00:19:51,624 --> 00:19:54,034
Oh, please tell me
you have some good news.
510
00:19:54,060 --> 00:19:55,530
Uh, I'm
afraid not.
(sighs)
511
00:19:55,562 --> 00:19:57,562
There are no extra
seats on the plane.
512
00:19:57,597 --> 00:19:58,597
I'm sorry.
513
00:19:58,631 --> 00:20:00,801
All, right, well,
thanks for trying.
514
00:20:01,934 --> 00:20:03,144
I can't believe this.
515
00:20:03,169 --> 00:20:05,309
That's it, it's over.
516
00:20:05,338 --> 00:20:06,638
Ted, come on.
517
00:20:06,673 --> 00:20:07,773
Your destiny
518
00:20:07,807 --> 00:20:10,207
just wasn't to make
it to Chicago today.
519
00:20:10,243 --> 00:20:12,043
Anyway, if that firm
really wants you,
520
00:20:12,078 --> 00:20:13,778
they'll reschedule.
521
00:20:13,813 --> 00:20:16,183
TED:
But that's not what happened.
522
00:20:16,215 --> 00:20:17,275
They didn't reschedule.
523
00:20:17,317 --> 00:20:19,047
They hired someone else.
524
00:20:19,085 --> 00:20:21,415
And as it turned out,
three months later,
525
00:20:21,454 --> 00:20:24,924
that guy ended up having
to relocate to Chicago.
526
00:20:24,957 --> 00:20:26,957
Kids, funny thing
about destiny--
527
00:20:26,993 --> 00:20:30,063
I thought I was destined
to get that job.
528
00:20:30,096 --> 00:20:31,426
But I was wrong.
529
00:20:31,464 --> 00:20:33,574
My destiny was to stay
in New York.
530
00:20:33,600 --> 00:20:34,900
Because if I hadn't,
531
00:20:34,934 --> 00:20:36,844
I never would have met
your mother.
532
00:20:46,713 --> 00:20:48,983
(subway car chugging
and whooshing)
34455
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