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1
00:00:01,235 --> 00:00:02,895
TED:
And so after six months apart,
2
00:00:02,970 --> 00:00:06,510
Aunt Lily and Uncle Marshall
were finally back together.
3
00:00:06,574 --> 00:00:08,214
Oh, my God.
4
00:00:08,276 --> 00:00:10,176
These pancakes are delicious!
5
00:00:10,244 --> 00:00:11,884
Yes. Thank you.
6
00:00:11,945 --> 00:00:13,905
Um, I learned how to cook
while you were gone this summer.
7
00:00:13,981 --> 00:00:16,451
Oh. Do you want
to cook dinner tonight?
8
00:00:16,517 --> 00:00:18,347
Yeah, sure.
9
00:00:18,419 --> 00:00:19,689
(chuckles)
10
00:00:19,753 --> 00:00:21,193
How about pancakes?
11
00:00:21,255 --> 00:00:23,985
And things were
back to normal... almost.
12
00:00:24,058 --> 00:00:26,888
You may not have much range,
but at least I'm marrying a guy
13
00:00:26,960 --> 00:00:28,230
who knows how to make pancakes.
14
00:00:31,732 --> 00:00:33,972
Oh, um...
15
00:00:34,034 --> 00:00:35,574
I mean, um...
16
00:00:35,636 --> 00:00:36,766
Well, I realize
17
00:00:36,837 --> 00:00:40,067
that we haven't really discussed
18
00:00:40,141 --> 00:00:42,311
whether us getting back together
19
00:00:42,376 --> 00:00:44,446
means us getting married, but...
20
00:00:44,512 --> 00:00:46,252
I still wanna.
21
00:00:46,314 --> 00:00:47,684
Do you still wanna?
22
00:00:47,748 --> 00:00:50,378
Really?
23
00:00:50,451 --> 00:00:53,191
(chuckles)
Of course, I love you.
24
00:00:53,254 --> 00:00:55,324
No, I mean, that's how
you're gonna do it?
25
00:00:55,389 --> 00:00:56,559
"Do you still wanna?"
26
00:00:56,624 --> 00:00:59,464
That's like
the lamest proposal ever.
27
00:00:59,527 --> 00:01:00,357
When I did it,
28
00:01:00,428 --> 00:01:01,858
I got down on my knees...
29
00:01:01,929 --> 00:01:03,559
I don't know, I'm just saying.
30
00:01:07,135 --> 00:01:10,235
Marshall Eriksen, will you ma...
31
00:01:10,304 --> 00:01:11,614
No, no, no, no, no, no.
32
00:01:11,672 --> 00:01:12,842
What?!
You can't lead
with that.
33
00:01:12,906 --> 00:01:14,066
You got to...
34
00:01:14,142 --> 00:01:15,382
build up to that.
35
00:01:15,443 --> 00:01:17,613
You got to have, like,
a little speech.
36
00:01:17,678 --> 00:01:20,808
Do you remember
your proposal to me?
37
00:01:20,881 --> 00:01:23,051
I had a speech prepared.
38
00:01:23,117 --> 00:01:24,987
What do you want to hear?
39
00:01:25,052 --> 00:01:26,522
I don't know.
40
00:01:26,587 --> 00:01:29,087
I mean, you could tell me,
like, about how good-looking
41
00:01:29,157 --> 00:01:32,187
and funny and smart I am
42
00:01:32,260 --> 00:01:33,590
and I've been
working out lately.
43
00:01:33,661 --> 00:01:38,331
It might be nice for you to
mention something... about that.
44
00:01:38,399 --> 00:01:39,329
Hmm.
45
00:01:39,400 --> 00:01:43,000
Marshall,
you are good-looking...
46
00:01:43,070 --> 00:01:44,070
Thank you.
47
00:01:44,138 --> 00:01:44,938
You're funny.
Oh, thanks.
48
00:01:45,005 --> 00:01:46,205
You're smart.
49
00:01:46,274 --> 00:01:47,514
And a few tears
wouldn't hurt.
50
00:01:47,575 --> 00:01:48,805
Okay, would you freakin'
marry me already?
51
00:01:48,876 --> 00:01:49,876
Of course I'll
marry you.
52
00:01:49,943 --> 00:01:51,253
Of course.
53
00:01:51,312 --> 00:01:54,182
But, um, until you see
a ring on this finger,
54
00:01:54,248 --> 00:01:55,818
don't expect me
to put out.
55
00:01:55,883 --> 00:01:57,323
Yeah, right.
56
00:02:15,068 --> 00:02:16,398
(sighs)
57
00:02:16,470 --> 00:02:17,870
(sighs)
58
00:02:17,938 --> 00:02:19,738
I'll give you this.
59
00:02:19,807 --> 00:02:22,177
That was a very
creative use of syrup.
60
00:02:22,243 --> 00:02:23,583
(chuckles)
61
00:02:23,644 --> 00:02:26,854
I can't even look Mrs.
Butterworth in the eye.
62
00:02:29,016 --> 00:02:31,216
Oh, my God.
63
00:02:31,285 --> 00:02:32,645
We're getting married!
64
00:02:32,720 --> 00:02:33,750
I know, I know.
65
00:02:33,821 --> 00:02:34,961
(both moan)
66
00:02:35,022 --> 00:02:36,692
TED:
It was a moment of happiness,
67
00:02:36,757 --> 00:02:39,527
followed of course
by a moment of total panic.
68
00:02:39,593 --> 00:02:41,533
See, when they called off
their first wedding,
69
00:02:41,595 --> 00:02:44,495
Aunt Lily took off
for San Francisco
70
00:02:44,565 --> 00:02:46,465
leaving Uncle Marshall
with the unfortunate task
71
00:02:46,534 --> 00:02:48,474
of telling his entire family.
72
00:02:48,536 --> 00:02:50,896
Yeah, so now she's gone
and the wedding's off.
73
00:02:51,972 --> 00:02:52,812
What do you call someone
74
00:02:52,873 --> 00:02:54,383
who just takes off
and leaves like that?
75
00:02:54,442 --> 00:02:56,312
What do you call that?
76
00:02:56,377 --> 00:02:58,277
I think that that's
a little strong.
77
00:02:58,346 --> 00:02:59,306
I can't even believe
78
00:02:59,380 --> 00:03:01,850
you would use a word like that.
79
00:03:01,915 --> 00:03:04,245
Geez, Grandma.
80
00:03:05,353 --> 00:03:07,193
Man, I made a big mess
81
00:03:07,255 --> 00:03:08,885
by canceling this wedding,
didn't I?
82
00:03:08,956 --> 00:03:11,656
It's okay, baby.
83
00:03:11,725 --> 00:03:14,355
You're not just realizing
that now, are you?
84
00:03:16,129 --> 00:03:17,669
God, the idea
of standing
85
00:03:17,731 --> 00:03:21,501
up there in front of all
those people who hate my guts...
86
00:03:21,569 --> 00:03:23,869
just makes me want to run off
to Atlantic City
87
00:03:23,937 --> 00:03:25,237
and get married today.
88
00:03:25,306 --> 00:03:26,906
(chuckling):
Yeah.
89
00:03:30,010 --> 00:03:31,610
Coming up at 11:00:
90
00:03:31,679 --> 00:03:33,779
Are there piranhas
in the East River?
91
00:03:33,847 --> 00:03:37,917
What you don't know...
could eat you.
92
00:03:37,985 --> 00:03:39,985
Robin! Stop the news!
93
00:03:40,053 --> 00:03:42,163
What the hell?
It's okay. They're my friends.
94
00:03:42,222 --> 00:03:43,522
We're going to
Atlantic City to elope.
95
00:03:43,591 --> 00:03:44,731
You got to
come with us.
96
00:03:44,792 --> 00:03:46,892
Oh, my God,
that is so fantastic!
97
00:03:46,960 --> 00:03:48,700
I-I don't know
if I can just leave work.
98
00:03:48,762 --> 00:03:50,762
It's okay; Mike can read
the news tonight.
99
00:03:51,632 --> 00:03:53,972
Hey, Mike...
you can read, right?
100
00:03:54,034 --> 00:03:56,844
Yeah, I'm the best at reading.
101
00:03:57,671 --> 00:03:59,241
Let's go to Atlantic City!
102
00:03:59,307 --> 00:04:00,707
Yeah!
Yeah!
103
00:04:02,209 --> 00:04:03,279
You guys are eloping!
104
00:04:03,344 --> 00:04:05,354
Oh, that's fantastic.
105
00:04:05,413 --> 00:04:06,953
Wait, is this because
there's a time crunch
106
00:04:07,014 --> 00:04:08,454
Uncle Ted should know about?
107
00:04:08,516 --> 00:04:11,516
I hope not because I plan
on getting hammered.
108
00:04:11,585 --> 00:04:13,045
Guys, this sounds like
so much fun,
109
00:04:13,120 --> 00:04:14,420
but I can't really
take off work.
110
00:04:14,488 --> 00:04:16,118
I'm kind of important
around here, you know?
111
00:04:16,189 --> 00:04:17,329
I'm the project manager.
112
00:04:17,391 --> 00:04:18,931
Ted, for the rest
of our lives,
113
00:04:18,992 --> 00:04:21,662
we are going to be telling
the amazing story
114
00:04:21,729 --> 00:04:23,799
of how we went to Atlantic City
and got married.
115
00:04:23,864 --> 00:04:26,004
Don't you want to be
in that story?
116
00:04:26,066 --> 00:04:27,666
Of course I do.
117
00:04:27,735 --> 00:04:29,435
Let's go to Atlantic City!
118
00:04:29,503 --> 00:04:31,413
Yeah!
Yeah!
Oh, but when we
tell the story,
119
00:04:31,472 --> 00:04:32,942
can you leave out the part
where I hesitate?
120
00:04:33,006 --> 00:04:34,806
You got it.
121
00:04:37,311 --> 00:04:38,751
Hey, guys.
122
00:04:38,812 --> 00:04:40,752
Wow. A pedicure.
123
00:04:40,814 --> 00:04:43,484
Uh, if there were any shame
in a dude getting a pedicure
124
00:04:43,551 --> 00:04:45,551
I don't think there would have
been a feature
125
00:04:45,619 --> 00:04:48,859
about it in Details magazine.
126
00:04:48,922 --> 00:04:51,592
We're going to Atlantic City
to elope right now!
127
00:04:51,659 --> 00:04:53,729
Oh, congratulations, Lily.
128
00:04:53,794 --> 00:04:55,334
Marshall,
you're getting married?
129
00:04:55,396 --> 00:04:56,596
What the hell?
130
00:04:56,664 --> 00:04:59,034
So are you
in or not?
131
00:04:59,099 --> 00:05:00,599
Hell, yeah, I'm in!
132
00:05:00,668 --> 00:05:02,138
Just... I'm almost done.
133
00:05:02,202 --> 00:05:03,542
No, we got to get
going to the...
134
00:05:03,604 --> 00:05:04,944
Well, actually, I mean...
135
00:05:05,005 --> 00:05:08,005
It is my wedding day,
and since we're here...
136
00:05:08,075 --> 00:05:12,145
TED:
So we all got a pedicure
and then headed down...
137
00:05:12,212 --> 00:05:14,752
to Atlantic City.
138
00:05:19,953 --> 00:05:21,363
(Marshall laughing)
139
00:05:21,422 --> 00:05:25,062
Wow.
Look at this place.
140
00:05:25,125 --> 00:05:26,985
I guess I'll have my pick
of something old.
141
00:05:27,060 --> 00:05:27,960
And something blue.
142
00:05:28,028 --> 00:05:30,398
Somebody should really
check on this lady.
143
00:05:31,365 --> 00:05:33,895
Ah, A.C.,
always in decline,
144
00:05:33,967 --> 00:05:36,237
never hitting bottom.
145
00:05:36,303 --> 00:05:38,513
It's good to be back,
old friend.
146
00:05:38,572 --> 00:05:39,442
You been here before?
147
00:05:39,507 --> 00:05:41,807
Oh, uh, once or twice.
148
00:05:41,875 --> 00:05:42,475
MAN:
Barney!
149
00:05:42,543 --> 00:05:44,013
(speaking foreign language)
150
00:05:44,077 --> 00:05:45,877
Ah, good to
see you, too.
151
00:05:45,946 --> 00:05:47,776
Three times, maybe.
152
00:05:48,682 --> 00:05:50,952
The wedding chapel--
this is it.
153
00:05:51,018 --> 00:05:52,288
Are you ready to do this?
154
00:05:52,352 --> 00:05:53,792
I'm ready.
155
00:05:54,922 --> 00:05:56,792
Let's get married.
TED:
Yeah.
156
00:05:56,857 --> 00:05:57,887
Oh, crap.
157
00:05:57,958 --> 00:05:59,088
I don't have a veil.
158
00:05:59,159 --> 00:06:01,359
I'm a bride; I can't
get married without a veil.
159
00:06:01,429 --> 00:06:03,399
And a bouquet.
160
00:06:03,464 --> 00:06:04,674
I need a veil and a bouquet.
161
00:06:04,732 --> 00:06:06,832
Oh, my God,
we're getting married.
162
00:06:06,900 --> 00:06:08,200
ROBIN:
Don't worry. Relax.
163
00:06:08,268 --> 00:06:09,038
We'll get you
a veil, honey.
164
00:06:09,102 --> 00:06:11,472
Oh, Robin,
that's a really cute outfit.
165
00:06:11,539 --> 00:06:13,239
Oh, really? Thanks.
166
00:06:13,306 --> 00:06:15,676
Yeah, it has to go.
I'm the bride; you can't look
167
00:06:15,743 --> 00:06:17,553
better than me.
Done.
168
00:06:17,611 --> 00:06:18,911
I'm going
to get the bouquet.
169
00:06:18,979 --> 00:06:20,079
You guys get the veil.
170
00:06:20,147 --> 00:06:21,877
We'll meet in the chapel
in 20 minutes.
171
00:06:21,949 --> 00:06:23,849
Ready, break.
172
00:06:26,253 --> 00:06:27,693
You guys want to go gamble?
173
00:06:27,755 --> 00:06:29,085
No, we got to go get the veil.
174
00:06:29,156 --> 00:06:31,056
Or we looked everywhere,
and we couldn't find one.
175
00:06:31,124 --> 00:06:32,464
Yeah, okay.
176
00:06:32,526 --> 00:06:33,726
No, you guys go ahead.
177
00:06:33,794 --> 00:06:35,934
I'm going
to find the veil.
178
00:06:38,031 --> 00:06:39,401
So this is it, right?
179
00:06:39,467 --> 00:06:41,097
The last 20 minutes
of your single life.
180
00:06:41,168 --> 00:06:42,168
I'm proud of you, buddy.
181
00:06:42,235 --> 00:06:43,735
Thanks.
How are you feeling?
182
00:06:43,804 --> 00:06:45,114
Great, a little nervous.
Yeah? Craps?
183
00:06:45,172 --> 00:06:47,242
Not that nervous.
No, I mean do you
want to play craps.
184
00:06:47,307 --> 00:06:48,977
Oh, yeah, definitely.
185
00:06:49,042 --> 00:06:50,282
Okay, I got the veil.
186
00:06:50,343 --> 00:06:51,913
She wasn't ready
to be married.
187
00:06:51,979 --> 00:06:53,279
All right,
let's talk bachelor party.
188
00:06:53,346 --> 00:06:54,546
Are we thinking
full-on strip club,
189
00:06:54,615 --> 00:06:55,675
or should we rent a room
190
00:06:55,749 --> 00:06:57,689
and have a private toy show--
whew.
191
00:06:57,751 --> 00:06:59,391
What did you just say?
192
00:06:59,453 --> 00:07:01,153
Barney, no.
193
00:07:01,221 --> 00:07:02,621
Marshall, I'm your best man.
194
00:07:02,690 --> 00:07:04,190
You're not my best man.
Right here.
195
00:07:04,257 --> 00:07:06,887
And as your best man, I have
to throw you a bachelor party.
196
00:07:06,960 --> 00:07:08,800
That's part of being
a best friend.
197
00:07:08,862 --> 00:07:10,032
You're not my best friend.
Right here.
198
00:07:10,097 --> 00:07:12,197
Barney, I don't have any time
for a bachelor party.
199
00:07:12,265 --> 00:07:14,165
I've got, like, 18 minutes.
200
00:07:15,168 --> 00:07:17,638
18 minutes.
201
00:07:18,606 --> 00:07:20,866
Oh, good.
Did you get the veil?
202
00:07:20,941 --> 00:07:21,811
Of course.
203
00:07:21,875 --> 00:07:25,105
And it took us
exactly 18 minutes.
204
00:07:25,178 --> 00:07:26,578
We went to a strip club.
205
00:07:26,647 --> 00:07:27,877
Dude!
Unbelievable!
206
00:07:27,948 --> 00:07:29,248
We weren't there
for very long.
207
00:07:29,316 --> 00:07:31,276
It's not like I had time to have
a lap dance or anything.
208
00:07:31,351 --> 00:07:33,151
I got a lap dance.
You... !
209
00:07:33,220 --> 00:07:34,520
Aw, your last lap dance ever.
210
00:07:34,588 --> 00:07:36,258
(chuckling):
Right... What?
211
00:07:36,323 --> 00:07:38,133
Okay, I'm here.
212
00:07:38,191 --> 00:07:40,231
Right?
Ooh.
213
00:07:40,293 --> 00:07:43,433
Oh, God, the things people
waste money on in Atlantic City.
214
00:07:43,497 --> 00:07:44,767
Does it smell like
strippers in here?
215
00:07:44,832 --> 00:07:46,072
That's weird, right?
216
00:07:46,133 --> 00:07:48,203
Marshall and Lily
are getting married!
217
00:07:48,268 --> 00:07:50,398
Yeah.
Whoo!
Hell, yeah,
look at this.
218
00:07:50,470 --> 00:07:53,970
(bouquet playing wedding
recessional melody)
219
00:07:54,041 --> 00:07:56,281
Oh, baby, this is it.
220
00:07:56,343 --> 00:07:57,443
Let's do this thing.
221
00:07:57,511 --> 00:07:58,851
All right.
All right.
222
00:07:58,912 --> 00:07:59,982
Hi.
223
00:08:00,047 --> 00:08:01,547
We're here
to get married.
224
00:08:01,615 --> 00:08:02,975
(dryly):
Congratulations.
225
00:08:03,050 --> 00:08:06,150
We offer a variety of packages
to give you the special day
226
00:08:06,219 --> 00:08:07,789
you've always dreamed about.
227
00:08:07,855 --> 00:08:09,855
We don't want
any of that.
228
00:08:09,923 --> 00:08:11,533
Just your basic quickie
wedding will be fine.
229
00:08:11,592 --> 00:08:13,962
Yeah.
(melody playing)
230
00:08:15,462 --> 00:08:17,502
You know
this isn't Vegas, right?
231
00:08:17,565 --> 00:08:18,465
ROBIN:
Well, sure.
232
00:08:18,532 --> 00:08:20,632
In Vegas, the casinos
pump in oxygen.
233
00:08:20,701 --> 00:08:23,771
Here, it looks like
everyone brought their own.
234
00:08:23,837 --> 00:08:25,767
What?
235
00:08:25,839 --> 00:08:27,609
It also takes three days
236
00:08:27,675 --> 00:08:29,705
to get a marriage license
in New Jersey.
237
00:08:29,777 --> 00:08:31,847
The earliest
I could book you for is Monday.
238
00:08:31,912 --> 00:08:33,852
No, no, no,
it has to be today.
239
00:08:33,914 --> 00:08:35,254
That's the whole point.
240
00:08:35,315 --> 00:08:36,675
Look, I don't know what to say,
241
00:08:36,750 --> 00:08:39,250
but if you guys don't want
to book a wedding for Monday
242
00:08:39,319 --> 00:08:41,689
or play a round of keno,
I can't help you.
243
00:08:42,923 --> 00:08:45,063
Thirty-five.
244
00:08:52,800 --> 00:08:54,000
Wait, wait, wait,
I don't understand.
245
00:08:54,067 --> 00:08:55,867
People get married
in Atlantic City all the time.
246
00:08:55,936 --> 00:08:58,006
Yes, they do,
but they don't elope.
247
00:08:58,071 --> 00:09:00,941
They choose Atlantic City
for its white sand beaches,
248
00:09:01,008 --> 00:09:05,048
world-class amenities,
and exotic Riviera feel.
249
00:09:05,112 --> 00:09:06,352
Have you been outside?
250
00:09:06,413 --> 00:09:07,783
There is half an orca whale
251
00:09:07,848 --> 00:09:09,948
rotting not 20 feet
from the cabana.
252
00:09:10,017 --> 00:09:11,517
You guys,
take it easy, guys.
253
00:09:11,585 --> 00:09:12,545
Are you sure about this?
254
00:09:12,620 --> 00:09:14,350
About the marriage laws
of the state
255
00:09:14,421 --> 00:09:16,221
where I work
in a wedding chapel?
256
00:09:16,289 --> 00:09:18,089
Yeah, I'm pretty sure.
257
00:09:18,158 --> 00:09:21,388
Bright side:
the bachelor party continues!
258
00:09:21,461 --> 00:09:22,731
Yes!
259
00:09:22,796 --> 00:09:25,126
Continues? You mean "start."
He means "start."
260
00:09:25,198 --> 00:09:27,368
We went to a strip club.
261
00:09:27,434 --> 00:09:29,674
Twenty-seven.
262
00:09:31,705 --> 00:09:34,335
Is there any way that we
could get a license today?
263
00:09:34,407 --> 00:09:35,777
You could go to the courthouse.
264
00:09:35,843 --> 00:09:38,913
In some extreme circumstances,
the waiting period
265
00:09:38,979 --> 00:09:41,509
can be waived, but you have
to have a good reason.
266
00:09:41,581 --> 00:09:42,921
Well, we're in love.
267
00:09:42,983 --> 00:09:44,793
What better reason
could there be?
268
00:09:44,852 --> 00:09:47,352
The last one I heard was,
"I'm going to Iraq tomorrow
269
00:09:47,420 --> 00:09:51,360
to defend my country," but,
you know, give yours a whirl.
270
00:09:52,993 --> 00:09:55,233
TED:
So we went to the courthouse.
271
00:09:56,529 --> 00:09:58,369
God, this is
taking forever.
272
00:09:59,733 --> 00:10:01,373
Can't believe
they're getting married.
273
00:10:01,434 --> 00:10:02,474
I know.
274
00:10:02,535 --> 00:10:03,865
I am so proud
of these two.
275
00:10:03,937 --> 00:10:05,037
After all they've
been through.
276
00:10:05,105 --> 00:10:08,435
In fact, that crazy
road has led them
277
00:10:08,508 --> 00:10:10,178
all the way here
to Atlantic City.
278
00:10:10,243 --> 00:10:11,513
Ted, up here.
279
00:10:11,578 --> 00:10:12,948
Huh?
280
00:10:13,013 --> 00:10:15,823
You were just staring
at my shirt boobs.
281
00:10:15,883 --> 00:10:17,023
No! I wasn't.
282
00:10:17,084 --> 00:10:18,594
I-I was checking
out the hot bod
283
00:10:18,652 --> 00:10:20,792
underneath the shirt.
284
00:10:20,854 --> 00:10:23,824
Okay, look, maybe I was
looking at your shirt,
285
00:10:23,891 --> 00:10:27,591
but it's a, it's a
funny, funny shirt.
286
00:10:27,661 --> 00:10:29,801
(man shouting
in foreign language)
287
00:10:29,863 --> 00:10:31,833
Barney!
Hi.
288
00:10:31,899 --> 00:10:33,999
(speaking foreign language)
289
00:10:35,368 --> 00:10:37,398
...suit up.
290
00:10:45,212 --> 00:10:46,712
...legend.
291
00:10:48,181 --> 00:10:49,321
...Daddy.
292
00:10:49,382 --> 00:10:51,122
Ah!
American daddy.
293
00:10:56,990 --> 00:10:58,430
What the hell was that?
294
00:10:58,491 --> 00:11:01,031
A... Chinese guy?
295
00:11:02,495 --> 00:11:03,725
Hi. Hello.
296
00:11:03,797 --> 00:11:05,027
Uh, we need
a marriage license,
297
00:11:05,098 --> 00:11:07,738
but we need to skip
the waiting period because...
298
00:11:07,801 --> 00:11:09,241
we're in love.
299
00:11:09,302 --> 00:11:10,802
Aw. I'm gonna waive
300
00:11:10,871 --> 00:11:13,011
this waiting period
right now.
301
00:11:13,073 --> 00:11:14,443
Oh, really?!
302
00:11:14,507 --> 00:11:17,237
Is what I would say
if I could waive
the waiting period,
303
00:11:17,310 --> 00:11:19,110
but unfortunately,
only a judge can do that.
304
00:11:19,179 --> 00:11:22,079
Oh. Well, so can
we see a judge?
305
00:11:22,149 --> 00:11:23,049
Absolutely.
306
00:11:23,116 --> 00:11:24,146
Really?!
307
00:11:24,217 --> 00:11:26,787
Is what I would say
if there was any chance
308
00:11:26,854 --> 00:11:28,824
of you seeing a judge today,
which there isn't.
309
00:11:28,889 --> 00:11:31,989
Why are you doing this
to us?!
310
00:11:32,059 --> 00:11:35,199
'Cause you're
on Candid Camera!
311
00:11:35,262 --> 00:11:36,262
Really?!
312
00:11:36,329 --> 00:11:37,359
Is what I would say...
313
00:11:37,430 --> 00:11:39,430
You know what?
We get it.
314
00:11:41,168 --> 00:11:43,738
Okay, this is
a good plan B.
315
00:11:43,804 --> 00:11:45,314
Judges are people.
316
00:11:45,372 --> 00:11:48,542
People go to the bathroom.
A judge is bound to
come by eventually,
317
00:11:48,608 --> 00:11:49,808
and we'll get married.
318
00:11:49,877 --> 00:11:52,907
I'm sure we won't
be waiting long.
319
00:11:58,418 --> 00:12:02,058
Geez, you go to a vending
machine for 30 seconds.
320
00:12:02,122 --> 00:12:03,922
Vultures.
321
00:12:05,025 --> 00:12:06,485
Psst.
322
00:12:10,663 --> 00:12:11,833
What?
323
00:12:13,500 --> 00:12:14,530
Here?
324
00:12:14,601 --> 00:12:18,041
Yeah. Got a little
time to kill.
325
00:12:18,105 --> 00:12:20,635
Oh, my God, it's
the T-shirt, isn't it?
326
00:12:20,707 --> 00:12:22,077
No.
327
00:12:22,142 --> 00:12:23,282
A little.
328
00:12:23,343 --> 00:12:25,853
Something is seriously
wrong with you.
329
00:12:25,913 --> 00:12:27,383
So what, is that a no?
330
00:12:28,581 --> 00:12:30,281
All right, let's do it.
331
00:12:30,350 --> 00:12:32,550
All right. Um, also...?
332
00:12:32,619 --> 00:12:33,489
Yes, I'll leave it on.
333
00:12:33,553 --> 00:12:34,593
Sweet.
334
00:12:34,654 --> 00:12:35,924
Guys, let's bail.
335
00:12:35,989 --> 00:12:38,389
This is never
gonna happen.
Look,
336
00:12:38,458 --> 00:12:40,588
I know this is turning
into a bit of a disaster,
337
00:12:40,660 --> 00:12:43,530
but believe me, it's better
than the alternative.
338
00:12:43,596 --> 00:12:45,466
You throwing a
big, free party
339
00:12:45,532 --> 00:12:47,302
with lots of booze
and food and all
your single,
340
00:12:47,367 --> 00:12:49,037
desperate girlfriends
from college?
341
00:12:49,102 --> 00:12:51,872
Yeah, glad we
dodged that bullet.
342
00:12:52,940 --> 00:12:54,470
(gasps):
Judge!
Judge, come on.
343
00:12:54,541 --> 00:12:56,381
Come on, come
on, come on!
344
00:12:59,512 --> 00:13:02,022
(tape plays "Wedding March")
345
00:13:03,416 --> 00:13:05,216
Turn it off.
Okay.
346
00:13:06,686 --> 00:13:09,086
May we please
get married today?
347
00:13:09,156 --> 00:13:11,256
Now, normally I would say no
348
00:13:11,324 --> 00:13:14,034
to a request like that,
but you two impress me.
349
00:13:14,094 --> 00:13:15,604
Hmm, just the fact
that you've
350
00:13:15,662 --> 00:13:17,562
been together for ten years,
351
00:13:17,630 --> 00:13:21,270
standing by each other's side
through thick and thin,
352
00:13:21,334 --> 00:13:22,574
never wavering.
353
00:13:24,404 --> 00:13:25,474
What was that?
354
00:13:25,538 --> 00:13:26,938
What was what?
355
00:13:27,007 --> 00:13:28,877
That little look.
What was that?
356
00:13:29,843 --> 00:13:31,883
A look of love.
Mmm.
357
00:13:31,945 --> 00:13:33,745
You two have stood together
358
00:13:33,813 --> 00:13:35,353
through thick and thin, right?
359
00:13:35,415 --> 00:13:36,945
You know, man, listen,
Yeah, I mean,
360
00:13:37,017 --> 00:13:38,417
what's thick,
what's thin?
all... yeah.
361
00:13:38,485 --> 00:13:40,315
I have.
362
00:13:40,387 --> 00:13:41,917
All right, what was that look?
363
00:13:43,390 --> 00:13:44,220
What's going on?
364
00:13:44,291 --> 00:13:45,961
They broke up over the summer.
365
00:13:46,026 --> 00:13:47,956
Lily totally ran off
to San Francisco
366
00:13:48,028 --> 00:13:49,358
and these two just
had sex in the closet.
367
00:13:51,264 --> 00:13:52,774
What? We're under oath.
368
00:13:52,832 --> 00:13:54,502
No, we're not.
369
00:13:54,567 --> 00:13:56,037
Yeah, we are.
370
00:13:56,103 --> 00:13:57,773
He's a judge.
371
00:13:57,837 --> 00:13:59,737
Wh-- did we
take an oath?
372
00:13:59,806 --> 00:14:01,606
Do you even know
what an oath is?
373
00:14:01,674 --> 00:14:03,714
Uh, yeah.
374
00:14:03,776 --> 00:14:06,606
Courthouse. Oath.
We're under it.
375
00:14:11,651 --> 00:14:13,251
Guys.
376
00:14:13,320 --> 00:14:14,990
It's looking like
this isn't gonna happen.
377
00:14:15,055 --> 00:14:17,585
No, Marshall, we are
gonna get married today.
378
00:14:17,657 --> 00:14:20,087
Baby, anyplace we go,
we're gonna need
a marriage license.
379
00:14:20,160 --> 00:14:23,260
Except international
waters.
380
00:14:23,330 --> 00:14:25,270
So-so let's find
a ship captain.
381
00:14:25,332 --> 00:14:27,102
A ship captain
can marry us.
382
00:14:27,167 --> 00:14:29,397
There's boats
all over this place.
383
00:14:29,469 --> 00:14:30,739
Oh, is that what
those wooden things are
384
00:14:30,803 --> 00:14:31,973
floating between the garbage?
385
00:14:32,039 --> 00:14:33,939
This is a great idea.
386
00:14:34,007 --> 00:14:35,477
This is gonna work.
Let's go.
387
00:14:37,477 --> 00:14:38,807
Excuse me.
388
00:14:38,878 --> 00:14:40,078
Are you a ship captain?
389
00:14:40,147 --> 00:14:42,247
This is my machine.
390
00:14:44,717 --> 00:14:45,647
I should go talk to her.
391
00:14:45,718 --> 00:14:47,388
No, let me.
392
00:14:48,755 --> 00:14:50,655
Blackjack?
Yeah.
393
00:14:54,561 --> 00:14:56,131
Well, I found a guy
who said he'd be willing
394
00:14:56,196 --> 00:14:58,866
to put his boat in my slip,
so we're getting closer.
395
00:14:58,932 --> 00:15:00,272
Okay, Lil,
396
00:15:00,333 --> 00:15:02,943
why is it so important
to do this today?
397
00:15:03,003 --> 00:15:05,343
Because...
398
00:15:05,405 --> 00:15:08,205
if we don't do it today, I just
know we're gonna wind up
399
00:15:08,275 --> 00:15:11,005
having a huge wedding
with a huge crowd
400
00:15:11,078 --> 00:15:13,348
full of huge
Midwestern people
401
00:15:13,413 --> 00:15:15,283
looking all disapproving
and judging me
402
00:15:15,348 --> 00:15:17,248
while sipping little
cups of mayonnaise
403
00:15:17,317 --> 00:15:19,987
and-and cracking
runaway bride jokes
all night long.
404
00:15:20,053 --> 00:15:21,153
Nobody's gonna do that.
405
00:15:21,221 --> 00:15:22,361
No, they're not because
406
00:15:22,422 --> 00:15:23,762
I'm not gonna
give them the chance.
407
00:15:23,823 --> 00:15:25,063
I'm gonna find
a ship captain
408
00:15:25,125 --> 00:15:26,625
and we're gonna
be married tonight.
409
00:15:26,693 --> 00:15:28,133
Sweetie, this is crazy.
410
00:15:28,195 --> 00:15:30,225
You're never gonna
find a ship capt...
Hey, Lily.
411
00:15:30,297 --> 00:15:32,327
Found a ship captain.
What?
412
00:15:32,399 --> 00:15:34,329
Yeah. First guy
we talked to.
413
00:15:34,401 --> 00:15:35,401
Ship captain.
414
00:15:35,468 --> 00:15:36,968
How great is that?
415
00:15:37,037 --> 00:15:40,007
See? See, this
is destiny.
416
00:15:40,073 --> 00:15:41,513
So, captain, can
you take us out
417
00:15:41,574 --> 00:15:43,684
to international waters
and marry us?
418
00:15:43,743 --> 00:15:46,253
I sure can. If there's
two things I love,
419
00:15:46,313 --> 00:15:48,123
it's bringing people
together in marriage
420
00:15:48,181 --> 00:15:50,051
and making $5,000.
421
00:15:50,117 --> 00:15:51,417
What?
Deal.
422
00:15:51,484 --> 00:15:54,054
$5,000, okay,
we can do that.
Come on, everybody.
423
00:15:54,121 --> 00:15:55,661
Fork over your cash.
Don't think.
424
00:15:55,722 --> 00:15:56,962
Just do it.
425
00:15:57,024 --> 00:15:59,334
I can get us that money.
How?
426
00:15:59,392 --> 00:16:01,362
Have you noticed
that all day today
427
00:16:01,428 --> 00:16:03,658
Chinese guys have been
coming up and saying hi to me?
428
00:16:03,730 --> 00:16:06,500
Yes. Have you noticed
I haven't asked about it
429
00:16:06,566 --> 00:16:08,166
because I'm too scared
of the answer?
430
00:16:09,302 --> 00:16:10,972
Well, those are
my old gambling buddies.
431
00:16:11,038 --> 00:16:13,368
Truth is... I used to come
here all the time.
432
00:16:13,440 --> 00:16:15,080
Play an old Chinese game called
433
00:16:15,142 --> 00:16:17,042
"Shing Hasabu Shing".
434
00:16:18,145 --> 00:16:19,975
Had a small gambling problem.
435
00:16:20,047 --> 00:16:21,507
Actually, it wasn't so small.
436
00:16:21,581 --> 00:16:25,121
I... kind of lost
my entire life's savings.
437
00:16:25,185 --> 00:16:26,745
But tonight, I don't know,
I'm feeling hot.
438
00:16:28,388 --> 00:16:29,518
I think I can win us that money.
439
00:16:29,589 --> 00:16:31,189
No, we're not
letting you gamble
440
00:16:31,258 --> 00:16:32,658
all our money away.
441
00:16:32,725 --> 00:16:34,025
Uh, it's not gambling
442
00:16:34,094 --> 00:16:36,234
if you absolutely know
you're going to win.
443
00:16:37,397 --> 00:16:39,667
I'll get us that money.
444
00:16:39,732 --> 00:16:41,902
I swear it, nay...
445
00:16:41,968 --> 00:16:44,198
I oath it.
446
00:16:44,271 --> 00:16:46,211
Now, I had been to a lot
447
00:16:46,273 --> 00:16:48,683
of casinos before that night,
and I've been to a lot
448
00:16:48,741 --> 00:16:50,241
of casinos since,
449
00:16:50,310 --> 00:16:52,550
but in all that time
I've never seen a game
450
00:16:52,612 --> 00:16:54,112
quite like this one.
451
00:16:54,181 --> 00:16:56,581
To this day, I have no idea
how it was played.
452
00:16:56,649 --> 00:16:57,819
But luckily, Barney did.
453
00:16:57,884 --> 00:17:00,094
(speaking Chinese)
454
00:17:00,153 --> 00:17:01,393
Do you understand
what's happening?
455
00:17:01,454 --> 00:17:02,524
Not a clue.
456
00:17:08,861 --> 00:17:10,131
(humming)
457
00:17:10,197 --> 00:17:12,097
(speaking Chinese)
458
00:17:18,638 --> 00:17:21,268
(shouts)
459
00:17:23,210 --> 00:17:24,610
Do you think
he's winning?
460
00:17:24,677 --> 00:17:27,407
I don't even know
if he's playing.
461
00:17:33,386 --> 00:17:35,086
Wait, I get it.
I understand this game.
462
00:17:35,155 --> 00:17:36,615
No, you don't.
463
00:17:36,689 --> 00:17:38,159
I totally understand
the game, Theodore.
464
00:17:38,225 --> 00:17:39,525
Barney, split your tiles.
465
00:17:39,592 --> 00:17:41,132
You can triple your money
if you find the jellybean.
466
00:17:41,194 --> 00:17:42,564
Marshall, please.
467
00:17:42,629 --> 00:17:44,699
Don't you think
I know what I'm...
468
00:17:45,998 --> 00:17:48,068
My God, you're right.
469
00:17:48,135 --> 00:17:50,165
(speaks Chinese)
470
00:18:08,621 --> 00:18:09,621
(speaks Chinese)
471
00:18:12,091 --> 00:18:14,631
(screaming excitedly)
472
00:18:27,006 --> 00:18:28,776
Wow.
473
00:18:28,841 --> 00:18:30,111
It's beautiful.
474
00:18:30,177 --> 00:18:32,177
Thanks, Barney.
Did you guys see me?
475
00:18:32,245 --> 00:18:33,445
I was on fire tonight.
476
00:18:33,513 --> 00:18:34,653
Man, I can't wait
to get back to the shore.
477
00:18:34,714 --> 00:18:36,284
God, I love gambling!
478
00:18:36,349 --> 00:18:37,679
When we get home, we're gonna go
479
00:18:37,750 --> 00:18:39,390
to a little meeting. Okay?
480
00:18:39,452 --> 00:18:41,322
Why can't I do it
just a little?
481
00:18:42,522 --> 00:18:44,422
Okay.
482
00:18:44,491 --> 00:18:47,761
Let's get this started.
483
00:18:47,827 --> 00:18:49,527
All right.
484
00:18:49,596 --> 00:18:50,726
Okay, uh...
485
00:18:50,797 --> 00:18:53,997
you guys want the serious one
or the funny one?
486
00:18:54,066 --> 00:18:56,896
Oh, I think... serious
would be best.
487
00:18:56,969 --> 00:18:58,409
You sure?
488
00:18:58,471 --> 00:19:00,911
I got a lot of great
nautical jokes in there.
489
00:19:00,973 --> 00:19:04,183
Like how you two float each
other's boat, stuff like that.
490
00:19:04,244 --> 00:19:06,654
Yeah, serious is
probably good.
491
00:19:06,713 --> 00:19:08,653
All right.
492
00:19:10,450 --> 00:19:13,350
"We stand witness today
493
00:19:13,420 --> 00:19:16,190
"to celebrate the union of Lily
494
00:19:16,256 --> 00:19:18,286
"and Marshall.
495
00:19:18,358 --> 00:19:20,328
"Today, you two
will become one,
496
00:19:20,393 --> 00:19:22,533
"sharing your lives,
497
00:19:22,595 --> 00:19:24,625
"the happiness, the sadness,
498
00:19:24,697 --> 00:19:27,067
the frustrations
and the joy..."
499
00:19:27,133 --> 00:19:29,473
This is pretty cool.
500
00:19:29,536 --> 00:19:31,696
I can't believe you
never want to get married.
501
00:19:31,771 --> 00:19:33,741
I never said "never."
502
00:19:33,806 --> 00:19:35,506
"...to declare your love
503
00:19:35,575 --> 00:19:37,575
"and devotion to each other
504
00:19:37,644 --> 00:19:40,154
"in front of friends
and family,
505
00:19:40,213 --> 00:19:43,953
all the people
who matter most to you."
506
00:19:44,016 --> 00:19:45,216
What was that?
507
00:19:45,285 --> 00:19:47,685
What was what?
508
00:19:47,754 --> 00:19:49,264
That little look.
509
00:19:49,322 --> 00:19:50,692
You two just shared a look.
510
00:19:55,495 --> 00:19:56,755
We don't want to do this.
511
00:19:56,829 --> 00:19:58,399
We don't.
512
00:19:58,465 --> 00:20:00,495
Are you kidding me?
513
00:20:00,567 --> 00:20:02,337
You guys are calling off
another wedding?
514
00:20:02,402 --> 00:20:04,042
After I spent
all this money
515
00:20:04,103 --> 00:20:06,643
on a bridesmaid shirt?
516
00:20:06,706 --> 00:20:07,736
Did I bet someone
that they'd call it off?
517
00:20:07,807 --> 00:20:09,807
I did, didn't I?
Who'd I bet?
518
00:20:09,876 --> 00:20:11,406
You actually expect
any of us are gonna
519
00:20:11,478 --> 00:20:12,608
come to your third wedding?
520
00:20:12,679 --> 00:20:16,379
Yes. 'Cause it's
gonna be amazing.
521
00:20:17,417 --> 00:20:18,817
Look, before
I was afraid
522
00:20:18,885 --> 00:20:21,285
to face Marshall's family
and-and I didn't
523
00:20:21,354 --> 00:20:23,324
want to do all
that work,
524
00:20:23,390 --> 00:20:25,530
but now that
we're here...
525
00:20:25,592 --> 00:20:28,532
I realize that I have
to face Marshall's family
526
00:20:28,595 --> 00:20:31,225
and I really want
to do all that work.
527
00:20:31,298 --> 00:20:32,698
So do I.
528
00:20:32,765 --> 00:20:33,825
And yeah...
529
00:20:33,900 --> 00:20:36,240
my family might still
be upset with you.
530
00:20:36,303 --> 00:20:37,843
But when they
see us up there,
531
00:20:37,904 --> 00:20:39,814
they're gonna see
how much we love each other
532
00:20:39,872 --> 00:20:42,042
and none of that
other stuff is gonna matter.
533
00:20:42,108 --> 00:20:43,478
I love you, Marshall.
534
00:20:43,543 --> 00:20:45,653
I love you, too, Lily pad.
535
00:20:45,712 --> 00:20:47,412
I now pronounce you
man and wife.
536
00:20:47,480 --> 00:20:49,080
What?!
What?!
537
00:20:49,148 --> 00:20:50,178
What, is that not right?
538
00:20:50,249 --> 00:20:51,879
Are... we married?
539
00:20:51,951 --> 00:20:53,651
Did you just marry us?
Weren't you listening?
540
00:20:53,720 --> 00:20:55,050
We don't want
to be married.
541
00:20:55,121 --> 00:20:57,221
Uh... I-I suppose
542
00:20:57,290 --> 00:20:58,930
I could unpronounce you.
543
00:20:58,991 --> 00:21:01,631
BOTH:
Unpronounce us.
Unpronounce us!
544
00:21:01,694 --> 00:21:04,034
All right, I unpronounce
you man and wife.
545
00:21:04,096 --> 00:21:05,726
Oh, whew...
that was close.
546
00:21:06,633 --> 00:21:08,033
And that's the story of how
547
00:21:08,100 --> 00:21:11,340
Uncle Marshall and Aunt Lily
got married for 12 seconds
548
00:21:11,404 --> 00:21:14,044
somewhere off the coast
of Atlantic City.
549
00:21:19,679 --> 00:21:21,679
Hey, guys.
BOTH:
Hey.
550
00:21:21,748 --> 00:21:23,718
Ted.
Ted.
551
00:21:32,024 --> 00:21:33,894
Is Robin here?
552
00:21:33,960 --> 00:21:34,760
Man, I hope so.
35878
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