All language subtitles for Dwight In Shining Armor s04e01 Another Slice of Pilot.eng
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1
00:00:00,835 --> 00:00:02,301
[ominous music]
2
00:00:02,370 --> 00:00:04,870
[birds chirping]
3
00:00:04,806 --> 00:00:06,939
[bike chain clicking]
4
00:00:07,008 --> 00:00:14,600
[birds continue chirping]
5
00:00:14,644 --> 00:00:19,580
Chlodwig: It all began
on that fateful day.
6
00:00:19,616 --> 00:00:22,150
[camera buzzing]
7
00:00:22,219 --> 00:00:24,652
[bird calling]
8
00:00:24,722 --> 00:00:25,854
[crash]
9
00:00:25,922 --> 00:00:26,922
Chlodwig: You remember the one.
10
00:00:26,990 --> 00:00:28,490
Dwight: [screaming]
11
00:00:28,558 --> 00:00:32,326
[crash]
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00:00:32,396 --> 00:00:34,129
[kiss]
13
00:00:34,064 --> 00:00:39,000
[coughs]
14
00:00:38,936 --> 00:00:40,902
[whoosh]
15
00:00:40,971 --> 00:00:44,172
[magical thrum]
16
00:00:44,108 --> 00:00:47,075
[birds calling]
17
00:00:47,011 --> 00:00:54,115
♪
[bushes rustling]
18
00:00:54,184 --> 00:00:56,051
Chlodwig: Get this off of me.
19
00:00:55,986 --> 00:00:58,220
Urgh!
20
00:00:58,288 --> 00:01:01,056
Pfft.
21
00:01:01,124 --> 00:01:04,659
Hm.
22
00:01:04,595 --> 00:01:08,730
♪
[bushes continue rustling]
23
00:01:08,766 --> 00:01:10,631
[grunts]
24
00:01:10,701 --> 00:01:12,834
[yawns]
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00:01:12,770 --> 00:01:15,337
Now, what was I about?
26
00:01:15,272 --> 00:01:21,676
♪
27
00:01:21,612 --> 00:01:28,817
[paper rustling]
28
00:01:28,752 --> 00:01:31,453
There you are, my love.
29
00:01:31,521 --> 00:01:33,054
Thought you could hide,
little goose?
30
00:01:33,123 --> 00:01:37,225
♪
31
00:01:37,294 --> 00:01:39,861
[softly groans]
32
00:01:39,930 --> 00:01:42,331
I'm coming, my darling.
33
00:01:42,399 --> 00:01:45,467
And won't you be surprised.
34
00:01:45,402 --> 00:01:47,569
Gretta: Hold just a moment.
35
00:01:47,671 --> 00:01:49,704
You carried around my portrait?
36
00:01:49,640 --> 00:01:51,272
Chlodwig: 'Twas
a long time ago.
37
00:01:51,341 --> 00:01:51,940
Gretta: [shudders]
38
00:01:51,875 --> 00:01:53,207
- Still creepy, dude.
39
00:01:53,277 --> 00:01:54,710
- Don't interrupt,
I am telling a story.
40
00:01:54,645 --> 00:01:56,578
♪
41
00:02:04,088 --> 00:02:07,055
I could've sworn
it was here.
42
00:02:07,124 --> 00:02:08,657
How does one lose a castle?
43
00:02:08,725 --> 00:02:10,192
[crash]
44
00:02:10,127 --> 00:02:11,959
Chlodwig: [screaming]
45
00:02:12,029 --> 00:02:14,262
[crash]
46
00:02:14,298 --> 00:02:15,631
Dwight: Whew, yeah.
47
00:02:15,699 --> 00:02:18,033
Now, that-that's a hard fall.
48
00:02:18,101 --> 00:02:21,536
♪
49
00:02:21,604 --> 00:02:23,371
Chlodwig: Pffft.
50
00:02:23,440 --> 00:02:25,774
[coughs]
51
00:02:25,842 --> 00:02:32,647
[softly groans]
52
00:02:32,749 --> 00:02:36,518
[coughs]
53
00:02:36,586 --> 00:02:41,490
[groans]
54
00:02:41,425 --> 00:02:42,490
[yelling] Princess?
55
00:02:42,559 --> 00:02:44,593
♪
56
00:02:44,661 --> 00:02:45,860
Long, long ago,
I set out to win the heart
57
00:02:45,929 --> 00:02:50,098
of a princess who has a knack
for making enemies.
58
00:02:50,034 --> 00:02:53,902
So, her magician cast
the most inconsiderate spell
59
00:02:53,837 --> 00:02:57,940
that put me and all the woods
to sleep.
60
00:02:58,008 --> 00:03:00,508
I slept and slept
and slept and slept.
61
00:03:00,577 --> 00:03:05,013
I'd be sleeping still
if fate had not intervened.
62
00:03:05,081 --> 00:03:05,747
Dwight: [screaming]
63
00:03:05,816 --> 00:03:06,414
[crash]
64
00:03:06,483 --> 00:03:09,684
[kiss]
65
00:03:09,753 --> 00:03:10,352
Dwight: Ah!
66
00:03:10,420 --> 00:03:14,856
♪
67
00:03:14,925 --> 00:03:15,390
Dwight: Ow!
68
00:03:15,459 --> 00:03:25,266
♪
69
00:03:30,440 --> 00:03:33,342
♪
70
00:03:33,410 --> 00:03:35,010
- Where is she?
71
00:03:35,078 --> 00:03:36,778
- Who are you?
72
00:03:36,847 --> 00:03:39,114
Baldric: Hexela.
73
00:03:39,049 --> 00:03:43,585
Gskulking about my castle?g
74
00:03:43,520 --> 00:03:44,252
- Thaof my life period
75
00:03:44,354 --> 00:03:45,086
that I care to recall.
76
00:03:45,155 --> 00:03:46,287
Hm.
77
00:03:46,356 --> 00:03:48,223
Gretta: Oh.
78
00:03:48,291 --> 00:03:51,126
- Is she... dead?
79
00:03:51,194 --> 00:03:54,362
- Is who dead?
80
00:03:54,431 --> 00:03:57,298
- That would save me
so much bother.
81
00:03:57,367 --> 00:03:59,568
- Dear heaven.
82
00:03:59,503 --> 00:04:04,006
You are old!
83
00:04:04,074 --> 00:04:05,973
You're the most ancient hag
I've ever beheld!
84
00:04:06,043 --> 00:04:06,841
- [growls]
85
00:04:06,943 --> 00:04:07,776
Chlodwig: I have to ask--
86
00:04:07,711 --> 00:04:09,344
How are you not dead yet?
87
00:04:09,412 --> 00:04:10,946
- [gasps]
88
00:04:10,881 --> 00:04:14,683
I'll ask the questions,
you sputtle puffkin!
89
00:04:14,751 --> 00:04:17,018
Chlodwig: Sputtle puffkin,
is it?
90
00:04:17,120 --> 00:04:18,853
- What happened?
91
00:04:18,922 --> 00:04:19,988
- I fell
a sizeable distance
92
00:04:20,057 --> 00:04:21,256
down a hole.
93
00:04:21,191 --> 00:04:22,824
- Not to you, you oaf.
94
00:04:22,760 --> 00:04:26,394
To this castle!
95
00:04:26,463 --> 00:04:32,734
Ah!
96
00:04:32,802 --> 00:04:38,807
By walking these pixies...
97
00:04:38,875 --> 00:04:40,141
Oh, confound it.
98
00:04:40,210 --> 00:04:41,709
Who can read this tiny writing?
99
00:04:41,745 --> 00:04:43,445
[frustrated groan]
100
00:04:43,380 --> 00:04:46,915
- "By waking
this Princess with your kiss,
101
00:04:46,984 --> 00:04:51,553
you agree to perform the office
and function of her Champion
102
00:04:51,621 --> 00:04:54,022
until her hordes of enemies
are defeated."
103
00:04:53,958 --> 00:04:55,256
Hexela: [gasps]
104
00:04:55,325 --> 00:04:58,126
A Champion spell.
105
00:04:58,062 --> 00:04:59,694
[high-pitched] Ohh!
106
00:04:59,763 --> 00:05:03,999
I know of only one magician
who can command that spell.
107
00:05:04,067 --> 00:05:06,300
[giggles]
108
00:05:06,336 --> 00:05:11,239
- You mean to say
that some fat-lipped oaf
109
00:05:11,308 --> 00:05:13,641
has been kissing my betrothed?
110
00:05:13,711 --> 00:05:14,509
Hexela: And now she's gone
111
00:05:14,445 --> 00:05:16,878
and taken all her bones
with her.
112
00:05:16,814 --> 00:05:17,479
- Pardon?
113
00:05:17,547 --> 00:05:19,781
- The little twerp.
114
00:05:19,717 --> 00:05:23,852
Making a woman of my age
chase her all through creation?
115
00:05:23,787 --> 00:05:26,788
Troll: [snorts and snarls]
116
00:05:26,724 --> 00:05:27,956
- [screams]
117
00:05:28,024 --> 00:05:29,024
- Let me guess.
118
00:05:29,092 --> 00:05:30,025
Gretta/Chlodwig: Trolls.
119
00:05:30,093 --> 00:05:33,194
- [snarling]
120
00:05:33,263 --> 00:05:36,431
[magical sound]
121
00:05:36,499 --> 00:05:37,766
Chlodwig: Are you a witch?
122
00:05:37,701 --> 00:05:38,833
Hexela: Run, you fool!
123
00:05:38,902 --> 00:05:41,369
These won't hold them for long.
124
00:05:41,438 --> 00:05:44,139
Chlodwig: I'll fly to your arms,
my love.
125
00:05:44,207 --> 00:05:48,776
Trolls: [snarling, groaning]
126
00:05:48,846 --> 00:05:52,747
♪
[birds chirping]
127
00:05:52,816 --> 00:06:01,322
[skateboard wheels rolling]
128
00:06:01,392 --> 00:06:05,494
[Segway buzzing]
129
00:06:05,429 --> 00:06:10,532
[footsteps]
130
00:06:10,467 --> 00:06:15,069
Chlodwig: Hm.
131
00:06:15,139 --> 00:06:15,937
- Hey there.
132
00:06:15,873 --> 00:06:17,639
What can I get you?
133
00:06:17,574 --> 00:06:19,174
- I'm looking
for my true love.
134
00:06:19,242 --> 00:06:22,944
- Ah man, I feel you.
135
00:06:22,880 --> 00:06:25,914
Wow, are you dying of heat
in that costume?
136
00:06:25,983 --> 00:06:28,216
- 'Tis warm to be sure.
137
00:06:28,252 --> 00:06:30,318
- How's the Ren Fair
going?
138
00:06:30,387 --> 00:06:32,120
- Pardon?
139
00:06:32,189 --> 00:06:33,688
- Tell you what--
140
00:06:33,757 --> 00:06:37,392
I'll give you a slice
of Swiss apple
141
00:06:37,461 --> 00:06:43,231
if you send all your
Ren Fair buddies this way.
142
00:06:43,300 --> 00:06:45,167
Oh, and do you have
our punch card?
143
00:06:45,235 --> 00:06:46,668
Chlodwig: I believe not.
144
00:06:46,704 --> 00:06:51,406
- Buy 50 slices
and you get a free pie.
145
00:06:51,475 --> 00:06:53,709
[hole punch clicks]
146
00:06:53,644 --> 00:06:59,014
Don't lose that.
147
00:06:58,949 --> 00:07:07,589
- I shall protect it
with my life, fair Phoebe.
148
00:07:07,524 --> 00:07:09,891
[medieval folk music,
swords clanging]
149
00:07:09,960 --> 00:07:19,701
♪
150
00:07:24,908 --> 00:07:29,678
♪
151
00:07:29,613 --> 00:07:31,513
- [breathy laugh]
152
00:07:31,581 --> 00:07:34,816
[water sloshing]
153
00:07:34,752 --> 00:07:37,419
Crowd: Ooohh.
154
00:07:37,487 --> 00:07:37,852
- [sighs]
155
00:07:37,888 --> 00:07:39,688
- Hey.
156
00:07:39,623 --> 00:07:41,556
Uh, I'm Edenberry Elf.
157
00:07:41,624 --> 00:07:42,791
Have you uh, signed in yet?
158
00:07:42,859 --> 00:07:45,260
- Edenberry Elf?
159
00:07:45,195 --> 00:07:46,061
- Mm-hm.
160
00:07:45,996 --> 00:07:48,163
- I thought elves
migrated south
161
00:07:48,231 --> 00:07:50,999
this time of year.
162
00:07:51,068 --> 00:07:54,302
- Uhh...
163
00:07:54,371 --> 00:07:58,073
Chlodwig: Would you do me
a kindness, Edenberry Elf?
164
00:07:58,141 --> 00:08:00,041
- A uh, a kindness?
165
00:08:00,110 --> 00:08:02,044
- I'm on a quest
to win the hand
166
00:08:01,979 --> 00:08:05,680
of Princess Gretta,
the Besieged.
167
00:08:05,749 --> 00:08:07,782
- What ho!
168
00:08:07,851 --> 00:08:09,985
- The lady's castle
now lies in ruins
169
00:08:09,920 --> 00:08:12,988
and the lady herself
is not to be found.
170
00:08:13,056 --> 00:08:15,223
- A lass, alack.
171
00:08:15,159 --> 00:08:16,825
[grunts]
172
00:08:16,893 --> 00:08:18,627
- Will you use
your elvish powers to find her?
173
00:08:18,695 --> 00:08:21,529
- I would be honored,
174
00:08:21,598 --> 00:08:24,099
black knight of the realm.
175
00:08:24,167 --> 00:08:29,437
- Prince Chlodwig.
176
00:08:29,506 --> 00:08:31,106
Edenberry Elf: Your Highness.
177
00:08:31,041 --> 00:08:34,208
My elvish powers
are at your disposal
178
00:08:34,278 --> 00:08:36,178
in your search
for the princess.
179
00:08:36,246 --> 00:08:37,445
- What a fellow.
180
00:08:37,514 --> 00:08:38,513
Edenberry Elf: Mm, yes.
181
00:08:38,449 --> 00:08:43,285
I call upon my elvish powers
now.
182
00:08:43,220 --> 00:08:45,821
Oh, my elvish powers.
183
00:08:45,889 --> 00:08:51,059
[struggling]
Oh, my elvish powers
184
00:08:50,995 --> 00:08:54,896
searching the elemental
energy reverberations
185
00:08:54,964 --> 00:08:56,664
to locate the Princess.
186
00:08:56,734 --> 00:08:58,200
- Amazing.
187
00:08:58,135 --> 00:09:00,936
Edenberry Elf: There she is...
quite close.
188
00:09:00,871 --> 00:09:01,536
- [whispering] Where?
189
00:09:01,605 --> 00:09:03,204
- She is very close.
190
00:09:03,273 --> 00:09:03,872
- Where is she, Elf?
191
00:09:03,807 --> 00:09:06,374
- Somewhere.
192
00:09:06,443 --> 00:09:09,678
Straight over there!
193
00:09:09,746 --> 00:09:11,612
[triumphant music]
194
00:09:11,682 --> 00:09:13,181
- [in awe] Oh.
195
00:09:13,250 --> 00:09:15,183
Huzzah!
196
00:09:15,252 --> 00:09:16,584
Oh, well done.
197
00:09:16,653 --> 00:09:17,386
- Oh.
198
00:09:17,454 --> 00:09:18,387
Chlodwig: Edenberry Elf!
199
00:09:18,322 --> 00:09:21,623
- Thank you.
200
00:09:21,692 --> 00:09:24,325
Chlodwig: You're all invited
to the nuptials.
201
00:09:24,361 --> 00:09:28,262
Crowd: [cheering]
202
00:09:28,332 --> 00:09:29,431
Juliet: I'm thinking
a caption like...
203
00:09:29,499 --> 00:09:33,568
"Bellybutton owl gives a hoot
in Woodside Woods."
204
00:09:33,504 --> 00:09:35,837
Chlodwig: Ah, peasants.
205
00:09:35,773 --> 00:09:38,206
Where is the Princess?
206
00:09:38,142 --> 00:09:39,474
- What are you
supposed to be?
207
00:09:39,543 --> 00:09:41,510
Juliet: Oh, ohhh.
208
00:09:41,445 --> 00:09:43,312
Shakespeare improv troupe, yeah!
209
00:09:43,380 --> 00:09:44,846
Dwight booked 'em.
210
00:09:44,782 --> 00:09:46,914
- Oh, I thought
they were booked through May.
211
00:09:46,950 --> 00:09:49,784
Juliet:
Good e'en, sir knight.
212
00:09:49,853 --> 00:09:51,720
- Prince Chlodwig.
213
00:09:51,788 --> 00:09:53,989
- I know
the princess you seek.
214
00:09:54,057 --> 00:09:55,657
Me thinks she's gone
to revel in bingo night.
215
00:09:55,725 --> 00:09:57,091
Make haste!
216
00:09:57,127 --> 00:09:59,560
Uh... [laughs]
217
00:09:59,630 --> 00:10:01,229
I'm sorry, I think your show's
about to start.
218
00:10:01,165 --> 00:10:02,197
Down the hall on the right.
219
00:10:02,265 --> 00:10:08,569
- My love awaits.
220
00:10:08,639 --> 00:10:12,974
Ladies, how do I look?
221
00:10:13,043 --> 00:10:15,744
[school bell ringing]
222
00:10:15,812 --> 00:10:16,612
♪
223
00:10:25,823 --> 00:10:28,423
What a story
to tell our grandchildren.
224
00:10:28,491 --> 00:10:29,891
[crash]
225
00:10:29,827 --> 00:10:32,194
Students:
[frightened exclaiming]
226
00:10:32,262 --> 00:10:40,335
[armor clanking]
227
00:10:40,270 --> 00:10:41,403
- Okay, that guy's trying
to kill you.
228
00:10:41,471 --> 00:10:42,170
Male singer: One, two,
three, four.
229
00:10:42,206 --> 00:10:44,939
♪
230
00:10:45,008 --> 00:10:54,416
[swords clanging]
231
00:10:59,255 --> 00:11:01,189
[crash]
232
00:11:01,125 --> 00:11:05,694
[swords clanging]
233
00:11:05,762 --> 00:11:08,330
[music fades out]
234
00:11:08,398 --> 00:11:08,864
Dwight: Okay!
235
00:11:08,799 --> 00:11:09,997
Okay man, okay.
236
00:11:10,067 --> 00:11:13,168
Hey, we all know violence
is never the answer, right?
237
00:11:13,236 --> 00:11:14,369
Gretta: Save your breath,
Champion.
238
00:11:14,438 --> 00:11:15,370
Chlodwig: Champion.
239
00:11:15,439 --> 00:11:16,571
Him?
240
00:11:16,640 --> 00:11:18,373
Gretta: Sadly, yes.
241
00:11:18,309 --> 00:11:20,008
Chlodwig:
This spineless tadpole?
242
00:11:20,077 --> 00:11:21,676
- Can we not do this again?
243
00:11:21,612 --> 00:11:23,712
Baldric/Hexela: [chuckling]
244
00:11:23,780 --> 00:11:30,218
[armor clanging]
245
00:11:30,287 --> 00:11:33,955
[applause]
246
00:11:34,024 --> 00:11:34,422
Gretta: [grunts]
247
00:11:34,491 --> 00:11:34,956
You scoundrel!
248
00:11:35,025 --> 00:11:35,424
You knave!
249
00:11:35,359 --> 00:11:37,125
You brute!
250
00:11:37,061 --> 00:11:38,727
Male thespian 2: Hey, hey!
251
00:11:38,795 --> 00:11:41,496
You guys were so awesome!
252
00:11:41,432 --> 00:11:42,230
Holy moly.
253
00:11:42,299 --> 00:11:43,632
- Your hand!
254
00:11:43,567 --> 00:11:44,333
- Yeah.
255
00:11:44,401 --> 00:11:45,000
Gretta: [grunts] What?
256
00:11:45,068 --> 00:11:45,700
Male thespian 2: [chuckles]
257
00:11:45,736 --> 00:11:46,868
Hey, sorry, real quick.
258
00:11:46,937 --> 00:11:49,338
I know you guys are headin' out,
but I just wanted to ask.
259
00:11:49,406 --> 00:11:51,406
Do you do ongoing casting?
260
00:11:51,474 --> 00:11:52,707
I mean, I was in a production
of Macbe--
261
00:11:52,776 --> 00:11:54,643
Or, sorry, the Scottish play,
[laughs]
262
00:11:54,711 --> 00:11:55,911
and it was an ensemble cast...
263
00:11:55,846 --> 00:11:57,012
Gretta: My dagger!
264
00:11:57,080 --> 00:11:58,480
[dagger clangs]
265
00:11:58,548 --> 00:11:59,481
Gretta: [grunts]
266
00:11:59,416 --> 00:12:01,182
Male thespian 2: Wow!
267
00:12:01,251 --> 00:12:02,117
[incredulous laugh]
268
00:12:02,185 --> 00:12:03,318
You should be careful,
269
00:12:03,253 --> 00:12:04,119
that could've really
hurt someone.
270
00:12:04,054 --> 00:12:04,952
Gretta: [grunts]
271
00:12:05,022 --> 00:12:05,954
Male thespian 2: So anyway,
272
00:12:06,022 --> 00:12:06,822
I know a little
about stage combat,
273
00:12:06,890 --> 00:12:08,189
I took a few workshops,
but you know,
274
00:12:08,225 --> 00:12:09,558
I'm at like, intermediate level
so--
275
00:12:09,626 --> 00:12:10,692
- Help!
276
00:12:10,760 --> 00:12:13,462
Male thespian 2: That was
an advanced level move.
277
00:12:13,397 --> 00:12:15,396
Okay, I'm just gonna um,
I'm just gonna look you guys up
278
00:12:15,466 --> 00:12:16,398
on your website.
279
00:12:16,333 --> 00:12:19,834
Gretta: [struggling grunts]
280
00:12:19,903 --> 00:12:21,937
Unhand me, you fiend!
281
00:12:21,872 --> 00:12:23,471
You blackguard!
282
00:12:23,540 --> 00:12:27,675
You.. bilge.. rat-faced brute.
283
00:12:27,745 --> 00:12:30,111
Chlodwig: You're rat-faced.
284
00:12:30,180 --> 00:12:31,980
[crash]
285
00:12:31,915 --> 00:12:36,885
[thud]
286
00:12:36,820 --> 00:12:38,119
- [blows]
287
00:12:38,188 --> 00:12:42,524
[thump]
288
00:12:42,459 --> 00:12:44,392
Jacopo: You are free,
warrior maiden.
289
00:12:44,461 --> 00:12:51,066
I have subdued the bilge,
rat-faced brute.
290
00:12:51,134 --> 00:12:52,067
Gretta: Most chivalrous of you.
291
00:12:52,135 --> 00:12:53,268
- Hm.
292
00:12:53,203 --> 00:12:54,502
- To whom do I owe
my thanks?
293
00:12:54,571 --> 00:12:57,338
- I am Jacopo,
a troubadour.
294
00:12:57,374 --> 00:12:58,440
- Oh.
295
00:12:58,508 --> 00:12:59,407
A troubadour.
296
00:12:59,443 --> 00:13:00,642
Jacopo: Yes, si.
297
00:13:00,710 --> 00:13:03,745
- Pray, do sing me the news.
298
00:13:03,814 --> 00:13:07,248
- Another time perhaps,
senorita.
299
00:13:07,317 --> 00:13:10,685
I go on important business.
300
00:13:10,754 --> 00:13:11,753
Gretta: Godspeed to you,
good sir.
301
00:13:11,821 --> 00:13:14,556
And take the thanks of
Princess Gretta the Besieged
302
00:13:14,624 --> 00:13:16,424
with you along your way.
303
00:13:16,493 --> 00:13:18,527
[thump]
304
00:13:18,595 --> 00:13:21,396
- The.. Princess?
305
00:13:21,464 --> 00:13:23,031
The Besieged?
306
00:13:23,100 --> 00:13:25,434
You are she?
307
00:13:25,502 --> 00:13:26,801
- The very same.
308
00:13:26,870 --> 00:13:30,104
- Hm.
309
00:13:30,140 --> 00:13:37,979
The fate, she is a...
a funny mistress.
310
00:13:38,048 --> 00:13:42,417
We meet at long last,
Principessa.
311
00:13:42,353 --> 00:13:47,589
And now, we stand on the field
of combat.
312
00:13:47,658 --> 00:13:53,628
By the rules of chivalry,
you may fight or you may yield.
313
00:13:53,564 --> 00:13:56,764
[short chuckle]
314
00:13:56,800 --> 00:14:00,968
Ah.
315
00:14:01,038 --> 00:14:02,870
- I will fight.
316
00:14:02,906 --> 00:14:05,973
- Bravo.
317
00:14:06,043 --> 00:14:11,079
[both grunting]
318
00:14:11,015 --> 00:14:11,779
[clang]
319
00:14:11,849 --> 00:14:13,181
[thud]
320
00:14:13,249 --> 00:14:14,783
[sword clinks]
321
00:14:14,718 --> 00:14:19,087
[grunting continues]
322
00:14:19,156 --> 00:14:23,925
- Shall we discuss terms?
323
00:14:23,994 --> 00:14:28,496
I give you... your life.
324
00:14:28,565 --> 00:14:31,866
You give me your kingdom.
325
00:14:31,935 --> 00:14:33,668
Heh?
326
00:14:33,737 --> 00:14:38,239
Chlodwig: No one threatens
this Princess but I.
327
00:14:38,308 --> 00:14:41,576
- [strained yell]
328
00:14:41,512 --> 00:14:43,044
Chlodwig: How dare you ruin
my day of joy?
329
00:14:43,113 --> 00:14:44,279
Jacopo: [growls]
330
00:14:44,348 --> 00:14:47,749
[sword clangs]
331
00:14:47,818 --> 00:14:49,051
Chlodwig: Yield, peasant.
332
00:14:49,119 --> 00:14:50,118
Jacopo: You yield.
333
00:14:50,187 --> 00:14:51,320
[spits]
334
00:14:51,388 --> 00:14:52,754
Knave.
335
00:14:52,823 --> 00:14:53,221
- What do you mean?
336
00:14:53,157 --> 00:14:54,823
Why should I--
337
00:14:54,891 --> 00:14:56,124
I have a sword, you have a lute.
338
00:14:56,160 --> 00:14:57,626
- Esattamente
339
00:14:57,694 --> 00:15:01,195
[lute strum]
340
00:15:01,265 --> 00:15:04,132
[strumming continues]
341
00:15:04,201 --> 00:15:04,900
Jacopo: Mi amore.
342
00:15:04,968 --> 00:15:06,368
Mwah.
343
00:15:06,436 --> 00:15:09,204
Yes, come along Principessa.
344
00:15:09,272 --> 00:15:12,507
[lute strumming]
345
00:15:12,543 --> 00:15:14,008
Gretta: Ah!
346
00:15:14,078 --> 00:15:15,276
Jacopo: Oh, you are too kind.
347
00:15:15,345 --> 00:15:16,478
[lute strums]
348
00:15:16,413 --> 00:15:19,848
Jacopo: Too adoring.
349
00:15:19,916 --> 00:15:22,751
No need to worship me,
on your faces.
350
00:15:22,819 --> 00:15:24,352
[strum]
351
00:15:24,421 --> 00:15:28,056
Jacopo: [sighs]
352
00:15:28,125 --> 00:15:29,323
[strum]
353
00:15:29,393 --> 00:15:29,857
Jacopo: I win.
354
00:15:29,927 --> 00:15:31,193
[strum]
355
00:15:31,261 --> 00:15:31,926
- I win.
356
00:15:31,995 --> 00:15:32,994
[strum]
357
00:15:32,930 --> 00:15:34,363
Jacopo: Oh, I win.
358
00:15:34,431 --> 00:15:35,630
I win, I--
359
00:15:35,566 --> 00:15:36,431
[crash]
360
00:15:36,499 --> 00:15:38,066
[screaming]
361
00:15:38,135 --> 00:15:42,437
[crash]
362
00:15:42,506 --> 00:15:43,571
Grh.
363
00:15:43,640 --> 00:15:45,273
Ah.
364
00:15:45,309 --> 00:15:50,412
Oh mi amore,
she will not be happy.
365
00:15:50,480 --> 00:15:53,482
[mumbles]
366
00:15:53,417 --> 00:15:58,019
Gretta: [panting]
367
00:15:58,088 --> 00:16:00,955
[clink]
368
00:16:01,024 --> 00:16:01,656
Gretta: No!
369
00:16:01,692 --> 00:16:04,760
[grunting]
370
00:16:04,828 --> 00:16:07,863
No!
371
00:16:07,798 --> 00:16:09,598
Unhand me!
372
00:16:09,533 --> 00:16:10,565
Chlodwig: Almost there,
my darling.
373
00:16:10,634 --> 00:16:11,499
Gretta: Unhand me!
374
00:16:11,568 --> 00:16:12,567
[fire roars]
375
00:16:12,636 --> 00:16:13,235
- [frightened yell]
376
00:16:13,303 --> 00:16:16,671
[anxious panting]
377
00:16:16,740 --> 00:16:19,207
Let me go this instant, you--
378
00:16:19,275 --> 00:16:24,112
Chlodwig: Call me... sugarplump.
379
00:16:24,048 --> 00:16:25,247
- Chlodwig?
380
00:16:25,315 --> 00:16:26,248
- Hey man.
381
00:16:26,183 --> 00:16:28,350
[sword clinks]
382
00:16:28,285 --> 00:16:30,352
Dwight: Hey, no, I--
383
00:16:30,287 --> 00:16:33,255
I didn't come here to fight.
384
00:16:33,190 --> 00:16:35,656
It's been what,
a thousand years
385
00:16:35,726 --> 00:16:38,527
since you last,
you know, circulated?
386
00:16:38,462 --> 00:16:40,028
It's a different world now.
387
00:16:40,097 --> 00:16:41,763
I just wanna make sure
that you have the skills
388
00:16:41,832 --> 00:16:43,598
to survive and thrive.
389
00:16:43,667 --> 00:16:45,534
- But I am on a quest
to win the hand
390
00:16:45,469 --> 00:16:49,237
of Princess Gretta
by fair means or foul.
391
00:16:49,305 --> 00:16:56,611
Dwight: Yeah, turns out
that's not a good quest.
392
00:16:56,547 --> 00:16:58,680
She's just not that into you,
man.
393
00:16:58,749 --> 00:17:01,983
It sucks,
but we've all been there.
394
00:17:02,052 --> 00:17:05,220
Welcome to guy club.
395
00:17:05,288 --> 00:17:09,658
- Guy club?
396
00:17:09,726 --> 00:17:10,659
Thank you.
397
00:17:10,727 --> 00:17:11,292
[fire roars]
398
00:17:11,328 --> 00:17:12,660
Gretta: [shrieks]
399
00:17:12,730 --> 00:17:13,862
Hexela: [sighs] You poor thing.
400
00:17:13,930 --> 00:17:14,395
Chlodwig: She?
401
00:17:14,465 --> 00:17:15,397
A poor thing?
402
00:17:15,332 --> 00:17:17,899
Have you any idea
how difficult it was
403
00:17:17,835 --> 00:17:23,137
to hoist your person
over that dragon pit?
404
00:17:23,207 --> 00:17:24,306
- You never say that
to a lady.
405
00:17:24,374 --> 00:17:30,379
Gretta: Thank you.
406
00:17:30,447 --> 00:17:35,884
- I'm in your debt,
guy club brother.
407
00:17:35,819 --> 00:17:37,452
- Call me Dwight.
408
00:17:37,520 --> 00:17:41,957
- See you
in yon village, Dwight.
409
00:17:41,892 --> 00:17:46,027
[upbeat music]
410
00:17:45,963 --> 00:17:49,131
♪
[honking]
411
00:17:49,199 --> 00:17:51,132
Female singer: ♪ There's a light
in my chest, ♪
412
00:17:51,201 --> 00:17:54,836
♪ growing deep down. ♪
413
00:17:54,905 --> 00:18:02,410
♪ She's talking 'bout the best,
but she's so loud. ♪
414
00:18:02,512 --> 00:18:05,646
♪ Tell me why, ♪
415
00:18:05,716 --> 00:18:07,382
♪ tell me why. ♪
416
00:18:07,451 --> 00:18:16,591
♪
417
00:18:16,659 --> 00:18:19,795
Chlodwig: [delightedly] Oh.
418
00:18:19,863 --> 00:18:20,929
Oh, good lady.
419
00:18:20,864 --> 00:18:23,231
You must try this.
420
00:18:23,300 --> 00:18:24,099
[chuckles]
421
00:18:24,167 --> 00:18:28,269
♪
422
00:18:28,338 --> 00:18:35,711
Female singer: ♪ Show the flow,
get it fresh and get it shine. ♪
423
00:18:35,646 --> 00:18:38,946
♪ Tell me why, ♪
424
00:18:39,016 --> 00:18:42,050
♪ tell me why, ♪
425
00:18:41,986 --> 00:18:45,319
♪ tell me why, ♪
426
00:18:45,389 --> 00:18:46,421
♪ tell me why. ♪
427
00:18:46,489 --> 00:18:47,422
- Fair Phoebe.
428
00:18:47,491 --> 00:18:48,357
- Oh, hey!
429
00:18:48,425 --> 00:18:50,692
Hot knight guy.
430
00:18:50,761 --> 00:18:54,596
I mean, you're dressed
like a knight and you look hot.
431
00:18:54,664 --> 00:18:56,130
Warm.
432
00:18:56,200 --> 00:18:59,768
I mean warm,
because it's hot outside.
433
00:18:59,703 --> 00:19:01,035
Chlodwig: I have news,
fair Phoebe.
434
00:19:01,105 --> 00:19:01,903
- Spill it.
435
00:19:01,839 --> 00:19:04,539
Chlodwig: I am no longer
betrothed.
436
00:19:04,607 --> 00:19:07,209
Phoebe: Aw man, that sucks.
437
00:19:07,277 --> 00:19:08,744
I'm sorry.
438
00:19:08,679 --> 00:19:09,811
- 'Tis all for the best.
439
00:19:09,879 --> 00:19:17,152
All I lack in this world
is a slice of Swiss apple pie.
440
00:19:17,220 --> 00:19:19,321
Phoebe: O...kay.
441
00:19:19,389 --> 00:19:24,092
Comin' right up.
442
00:19:24,160 --> 00:19:25,694
[dramatic sound effect]
443
00:19:25,762 --> 00:19:30,565
[bushes rustling]
444
00:19:30,501 --> 00:19:31,466
Phoebe: Here you go.
445
00:19:31,534 --> 00:19:32,400
- Chlodwig.
446
00:19:32,469 --> 00:19:33,401
- Really?
447
00:19:33,470 --> 00:19:34,335
- Quickly, fair Phoebe.
448
00:19:34,405 --> 00:19:36,237
My punch card.
449
00:19:36,306 --> 00:19:38,106
I must follow yon trolls
450
00:19:38,042 --> 00:19:40,142
and see what mischief
they are about.
451
00:19:40,210 --> 00:19:41,543
- Great plan.
452
00:19:41,478 --> 00:19:44,679
Have fun!
453
00:19:44,748 --> 00:19:47,915
[cicadas singing]
454
00:19:47,985 --> 00:19:56,057
Trolls: [grunting]
455
00:19:56,126 --> 00:19:58,326
[ding-dong]
456
00:19:58,395 --> 00:20:02,597
[intense music]
457
00:20:02,666 --> 00:20:03,331
- [whispering]
Brother Dwight.
458
00:20:03,267 --> 00:20:05,834
Troll: [grunts, snarls]
459
00:20:05,902 --> 00:20:07,436
Dwight: Ah!
460
00:20:07,371 --> 00:20:10,472
[thud]
461
00:20:10,540 --> 00:20:14,309
Trolls: [snarling]
462
00:20:14,244 --> 00:20:15,377
- Grrrh!
463
00:20:15,445 --> 00:20:16,444
Ugh!
464
00:20:16,513 --> 00:20:18,380
[sword clinks]
465
00:20:18,315 --> 00:20:22,084
- For guy club!
466
00:20:22,019 --> 00:20:31,426
[swords clanging, grunting]
467
00:20:36,033 --> 00:20:38,734
Gretta: Get off my land,
Chlodwig!
468
00:20:38,669 --> 00:20:39,801
We have no need of your help.
469
00:20:39,737 --> 00:20:45,740
- Gretta, are you still upset
at the silly affair
470
00:20:45,809 --> 00:20:47,743
with the kidnapping
and the dragon pit?
471
00:20:47,678 --> 00:20:50,279
- You!
472
00:20:50,347 --> 00:20:52,481
Chlodwig: That's all
in the past.
473
00:20:52,416 --> 00:20:54,449
Troll: [growls]
474
00:20:54,385 --> 00:20:58,153
Baldric: Take cover!
475
00:20:58,221 --> 00:21:01,323
Ta-shal-ah-vi-ta-shal-ah-va!
476
00:21:01,391 --> 00:21:04,659
[magical sound]
477
00:21:04,761 --> 00:21:12,300
♪
478
00:21:12,236 --> 00:21:19,975
Gretta: [panting]
479
00:21:19,910 --> 00:21:26,614
He's going to be fine.
480
00:21:26,683 --> 00:21:28,349
Well done, Baldric.
481
00:21:28,419 --> 00:21:31,419
- A tidy piece of work.
482
00:21:31,455 --> 00:21:33,455
Gretta: Let me make one thing
abundantly clear.
483
00:21:33,390 --> 00:21:37,025
I will never marry you,
Chlodwig.
484
00:21:37,093 --> 00:21:39,193
- And I will never marry you.
485
00:21:39,263 --> 00:21:43,532
I will find a woman who
appreciates romantic gestures.
486
00:21:43,600 --> 00:21:45,734
- Romantic gestures?
487
00:21:45,669 --> 00:21:47,635
- You hung me
over a dragon pit.
488
00:21:47,705 --> 00:21:49,237
- So ungrateful.
489
00:21:49,306 --> 00:21:56,111
- So we are agreed
we shall never marry each other?
490
00:21:56,179 --> 00:21:57,446
- Agreed.
491
00:21:57,514 --> 00:22:00,449
Chlodwig/Gretta: [spit]
492
00:22:00,517 --> 00:22:03,885
Dwight: Wait, all that happened
while I was in the dirt?
493
00:22:03,954 --> 00:22:05,420
How long was I out?
494
00:22:05,488 --> 00:22:07,122
Chlodwig: Ah, finally!
495
00:22:07,190 --> 00:22:09,190
Phoebe, well met.
496
00:22:09,259 --> 00:22:10,959
- Hey, Chlodwig.
497
00:22:11,027 --> 00:22:12,628
Wow, I love the new cape.
498
00:22:12,696 --> 00:22:14,395
Chlodwig: Sir Dwight made it
for me.
499
00:22:14,431 --> 00:22:15,964
- Nice.
500
00:22:16,032 --> 00:22:16,832
What can I get you?
501
00:22:16,900 --> 00:22:18,233
- I'll try the key lime.
502
00:22:18,168 --> 00:22:19,000
- Coconut cream for me.
503
00:22:19,069 --> 00:22:20,736
[clink]
504
00:22:20,671 --> 00:22:23,505
Chlodwig: Five slices
of Swiss apple.
505
00:22:23,573 --> 00:22:25,173
- That'll be $21.50.
506
00:22:25,242 --> 00:22:26,174
- Hand it over, fellows.
507
00:22:26,110 --> 00:22:28,009
Come come, pay up.
508
00:22:28,078 --> 00:22:37,018
Phoebe is running a pie shop,
not a poor house.
509
00:22:41,358 --> 00:22:42,223
Phoebe: Here you go.
510
00:22:42,292 --> 00:22:43,091
Chlodwig: Ah-ha.
511
00:22:43,027 --> 00:22:44,259
Phoebe: Witches first.
512
00:22:44,194 --> 00:22:45,793
- Huzzah.
513
00:22:45,863 --> 00:22:47,862
Finally!
514
00:22:47,931 --> 00:22:52,300
The realization of a dream.
515
00:22:52,236 --> 00:22:54,902
I believe that should do it.
516
00:22:54,972 --> 00:22:58,940
- Well, look at that.
517
00:22:59,009 --> 00:23:01,109
[click, click, click]
518
00:23:01,178 --> 00:23:02,443
- Wait,
519
00:23:02,513 --> 00:23:03,544
[click, click]
520
00:23:03,580 --> 00:23:05,313
Is that why you
dragged us all out here
521
00:23:05,382 --> 00:23:07,249
and made us get apple pie?
522
00:23:07,184 --> 00:23:08,950
Chlodwig: Swiss apple.
523
00:23:08,886 --> 00:23:09,884
- And pay for yours.
524
00:23:09,953 --> 00:23:10,685
[ding, ding, ding]
525
00:23:10,754 --> 00:23:12,654
- That's a free pie!
526
00:23:12,589 --> 00:23:13,655
Chlodwig: Free pie!
527
00:23:13,724 --> 00:23:15,256
[laughs]
528
00:23:15,325 --> 00:23:16,358
- Unbelievable.
529
00:23:16,293 --> 00:23:16,958
- But--
530
00:23:17,027 --> 00:23:18,427
- Swiss apple.
531
00:23:18,495 --> 00:23:21,363
- What else, fair Phoebe?
[laughs]
532
00:23:21,431 --> 00:23:24,800
What else?
533
00:23:24,735 --> 00:24:02,504
♪
534
00:24:02,554 --> 00:24:07,104
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