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1
00:00:00,222 --> 00:00:01,221
Dwight: Previously
on Dwight in Shining Armor.
2
00:00:01,291 --> 00:00:05,860
Hexela: She comes from a lake
shaped like a crescent.
3
00:00:05,933 --> 00:00:07,700
This is a map.
4
00:00:07,703 --> 00:00:08,770
- In particular,
of the dark realm,
5
00:00:08,772 --> 00:00:13,875
where dark forces dwell,
and should not be disturbed.
6
00:00:13,948 --> 00:00:15,650
Osric's army defeated
the Tovenaars
7
00:00:15,652 --> 00:00:17,119
and then buried their bones
8
00:00:17,122 --> 00:00:19,088
in secret regions
throughout the world.
9
00:00:19,125 --> 00:00:21,259
Every place a Tovenaar's bones
were buried
10
00:00:21,329 --> 00:00:23,196
they made dark realms.
11
00:00:23,267 --> 00:00:24,901
Gretta: We found the dark realm.
12
00:00:24,903 --> 00:00:25,635
Baldric: Where?
13
00:00:25,704 --> 00:00:26,904
Gretta: Here.
14
00:00:26,974 --> 00:00:28,875
This village was built
on its bones.
15
00:00:28,878 --> 00:00:31,146
- W- Winnie!
16
00:00:31,149 --> 00:00:32,648
[swoosh]
17
00:00:32,717 --> 00:00:34,451
[splash]
18
00:00:34,521 --> 00:00:35,487
[school bell ringing]
19
00:00:35,523 --> 00:00:37,924
Dwight: There's more to life
than school, Gretta.
20
00:00:37,994 --> 00:00:39,327
Gretta: Indeed, there is.
21
00:00:39,398 --> 00:00:42,833
- There's also
extra-curriculars.
22
00:00:42,904 --> 00:00:46,339
Stuff you do for school,
outside of school.
23
00:00:46,411 --> 00:00:47,810
- More school?
24
00:00:47,881 --> 00:00:48,581
- And this one also
gives you extra credit
25
00:00:48,582 --> 00:00:49,514
in English.
26
00:00:49,584 --> 00:00:50,182
Huh?
27
00:00:50,252 --> 00:00:50,986
Huh?
28
00:00:50,988 --> 00:00:52,654
- [groans]
29
00:00:52,723 --> 00:00:54,523
What exactly goes on here?
30
00:00:54,594 --> 00:00:55,993
- The Daily Woodchuck.
31
00:00:56,063 --> 00:00:57,028
- Hm.
32
00:00:57,099 --> 00:00:58,498
A news chronicle.
33
00:00:58,568 --> 00:01:01,002
- The best investigative
journalism in Woodside.
34
00:01:01,073 --> 00:01:02,873
You remember
the, uh, expired True Moo
35
00:01:02,944 --> 00:01:03,675
in the vending machine?
36
00:01:03,746 --> 00:01:05,246
- Uuuch.
37
00:01:05,248 --> 00:01:05,913
- These are the guys
that broke that story.
38
00:01:05,983 --> 00:01:06,648
- Oh.
39
00:01:06,717 --> 00:01:08,316
- Right?
40
00:01:08,387 --> 00:01:10,254
- I still think the news
is best when sung.
41
00:01:10,325 --> 00:01:11,123
- Unngh.
42
00:01:12,963 --> 00:01:16,431
- Unless... no.
43
00:01:18,874 --> 00:01:20,608
Follow up on cafeteria worker,
Bergerman.
44
00:01:20,677 --> 00:01:24,646
What or who is behind
no more Pizza Friday?
45
00:01:24,719 --> 00:01:27,052
[sigh]
46
00:01:27,123 --> 00:01:28,789
Happy Friday, Woodchuckians!
47
00:01:28,860 --> 00:01:31,162
Gann, Rosenfeld,
48
00:01:31,165 --> 00:01:33,999
kudos on breaking
the upstairs leaky faucet story.
49
00:01:34,070 --> 00:01:35,670
Yes.
50
00:01:35,741 --> 00:01:38,307
Principal Shoemaker was left
with no choice
51
00:01:38,379 --> 00:01:41,080
but to allocate funds
for a new valve.
52
00:01:41,118 --> 00:01:45,186
And we've had 31 hits
on our website
53
00:01:45,258 --> 00:01:47,425
in the last hour alone!
54
00:01:47,497 --> 00:01:47,895
Yes!
55
00:01:47,963 --> 00:01:49,029
[clapping]
56
00:01:49,100 --> 00:01:53,402
That, people, is the kind
of hard-charging journalism
57
00:01:53,474 --> 00:01:56,308
we're striving for
at The Daily Woodchuck.
58
00:01:56,381 --> 00:01:56,846
Am I right? Or am I right?
59
00:01:56,914 --> 00:01:57,480
Huh?
60
00:01:57,516 --> 00:01:58,848
Am I right? Or am I right?
61
00:01:58,918 --> 00:02:00,119
- He's right, he's right.
62
00:02:00,121 --> 00:02:03,288
Zeke: Okay, time is story.
63
00:02:03,360 --> 00:02:06,594
'Boy's Lacrosse Wins
First Game in Two Years.'
64
00:02:06,667 --> 00:02:07,933
Who has that one?
65
00:02:08,003 --> 00:02:11,304
Parker, Gillespie, kill it.
66
00:02:11,376 --> 00:02:13,510
Has anyone actually seen
a woodchuck in Woodside?
67
00:02:13,580 --> 00:02:15,580
Anybody?
68
00:02:15,651 --> 00:02:20,220
Keep the streak alive, guys,
keep the streak alive.
69
00:02:20,293 --> 00:02:23,128
Principal Shoemaker
addresses controversy
70
00:02:23,132 --> 00:02:27,235
of slow reaction time
to leaky faucet.
71
00:02:27,240 --> 00:02:31,210
McCollis, McCollis,
the truth must prevail.
72
00:02:31,215 --> 00:02:34,016
Hey, and work together
this time!
73
00:02:34,086 --> 00:02:35,819
[sigh]
74
00:02:35,890 --> 00:02:37,691
Dwight.
75
00:02:37,694 --> 00:02:40,329
What brings you to
Woodside High's beacon of truth?
76
00:02:40,332 --> 00:02:42,599
Dwight: Hey, well Gretta and I
thought we'd try our hand
77
00:02:42,669 --> 00:02:45,837
at some student journalism.
78
00:02:45,909 --> 00:02:47,877
And one of us really needs
the extra credit help.
79
00:02:47,880 --> 00:02:48,947
- Whoof.
80
00:02:48,949 --> 00:02:52,616
Zeke: My sources tell me
you're preparing for a role
81
00:02:52,690 --> 00:02:57,459
in an as yet unannounced
Lord of the Rings reboot.
82
00:02:57,531 --> 00:03:00,567
- We can neither confirm
nor deny.
83
00:03:00,571 --> 00:03:07,176
♪
84
00:03:07,217 --> 00:03:09,751
- Total committment.
85
00:03:09,822 --> 00:03:11,289
Love that.
86
00:03:11,358 --> 00:03:14,728
- So, yeah,
you got anything for us, Zeke?
87
00:03:14,732 --> 00:03:16,433
- Maybe.
88
00:03:16,436 --> 00:03:18,435
I could use some more
eyes and ears on a lead
89
00:03:18,506 --> 00:03:19,505
that just came in.
90
00:03:19,574 --> 00:03:20,408
- We've got eyes.
91
00:03:20,410 --> 00:03:21,342
- And ears.
92
00:03:21,412 --> 00:03:22,545
- What's the lead?
93
00:03:22,614 --> 00:03:24,748
- Two guys reported
seeing a monster
94
00:03:24,818 --> 00:03:29,522
in Woodside Lake.
95
00:03:29,527 --> 00:03:32,828
- Sounds... kooky.
96
00:03:32,900 --> 00:03:34,366
Zeke: Probably,
97
00:03:34,437 --> 00:03:37,738
but I've seen things
that will blow your mind.
98
00:03:37,810 --> 00:03:39,743
- At The Daily Woodchuck?
99
00:03:39,814 --> 00:03:42,014
- Enough to teach me
that anything is possible.
100
00:03:42,084 --> 00:03:44,085
- But, a lake monster?
101
00:03:44,155 --> 00:03:46,189
I, uh.
102
00:03:46,260 --> 00:03:47,459
Zeke: And we have a picture.
103
00:03:47,528 --> 00:03:48,561
- We do?
104
00:03:48,631 --> 00:03:49,296
[chuckles]
105
00:03:49,365 --> 00:03:50,965
Nah, there's nothing
106
00:03:51,035 --> 00:03:54,405
that a blurry, grainy
surveillance photo would...
107
00:03:54,410 --> 00:03:58,144
oh, that is crystal clear.
108
00:03:58,216 --> 00:04:01,519
But I mean, that's,
that's still pretty far away,
109
00:04:01,523 --> 00:04:02,521
wouldn't you say?
110
00:04:02,591 --> 00:04:05,358
I mean, that, that, I, uh,
111
00:04:05,430 --> 00:04:08,032
oh, and now we're up its nose.
112
00:04:08,035 --> 00:04:09,401
Gretta: Pff,
that could be anything,
113
00:04:09,471 --> 00:04:10,405
a mermaid?
114
00:04:10,407 --> 00:04:10,939
Dwight: Not a mermaid.
115
00:04:11,007 --> 00:04:11,874
- An aquatic elf?
116
00:04:11,876 --> 00:04:12,742
- What?
117
00:04:12,811 --> 00:04:14,010
Huh?
118
00:04:14,080 --> 00:04:16,881
- If not a monster,
what is it?
119
00:04:16,952 --> 00:04:20,721
Let's go talk
to Drone #99, shall we?
120
00:04:23,499 --> 00:04:24,165
Dwight: [groan]
121
00:04:24,166 --> 00:04:25,098
- If the Wyvern is discovered,
122
00:04:25,168 --> 00:04:28,002
it will create a panic
among the peasants.
123
00:04:28,074 --> 00:04:29,173
- It's not the panic
I'm worried about.
124
00:04:29,209 --> 00:04:31,543
- Nothing incites a panic
among the peasants
125
00:04:31,614 --> 00:04:34,248
like a dragon.
126
00:04:34,319 --> 00:04:35,920
- Well, what's more likely
127
00:04:35,922 --> 00:04:38,422
is that Woodside
would be overrun with tourists.
128
00:04:38,494 --> 00:04:40,094
- Hm?
129
00:04:40,130 --> 00:04:42,063
- Look what happened
at Loch Ness!
130
00:04:42,134 --> 00:04:43,534
We have to stop Zeke.
131
00:04:50,050 --> 00:04:51,850
♪
132
00:04:51,919 --> 00:04:52,986
Dwight: Okay, so about
a thousand years ago,
133
00:04:53,055 --> 00:04:54,823
there was this princess, Gretta
134
00:04:54,826 --> 00:04:56,024
and she was in big trouble
135
00:04:56,095 --> 00:04:57,095
because she had lots of enemies
136
00:04:57,097 --> 00:04:58,930
and not a lot of friends.
137
00:05:00,135 --> 00:05:04,505
So her court magician, Baldric
cast the champion spell.
138
00:05:04,578 --> 00:05:05,710
It put everyone in the woods
to sleep
139
00:05:05,780 --> 00:05:06,847
until a champion would come,
140
00:05:06,849 --> 00:05:08,181
break the spell with his kiss,
141
00:05:08,252 --> 00:05:09,985
and deal with
Gretta's big, scary enemies.
142
00:05:10,054 --> 00:05:11,688
But that guy never showed up.
143
00:05:11,758 --> 00:05:12,291
Aah!
144
00:05:12,360 --> 00:05:13,693
Instead...
145
00:05:13,762 --> 00:05:14,294
[kiss]
146
00:05:14,363 --> 00:05:15,796
they got me.
147
00:05:16,602 --> 00:05:17,734
Ah!
148
00:05:17,804 --> 00:05:22,106
♪
149
00:05:22,179 --> 00:05:23,145
Ow!
150
00:05:23,181 --> 00:05:36,692
♪
151
00:05:38,577 --> 00:05:39,909
Dwight: I mean, it really
could be anything.
152
00:05:39,980 --> 00:05:41,512
A submerged tree,
153
00:05:41,583 --> 00:05:44,417
a really large turtle.
154
00:05:44,489 --> 00:05:45,754
- The helmet of an ogress.
155
00:05:45,825 --> 00:05:47,090
- Not helping.
156
00:05:47,160 --> 00:05:48,259
- Hm, keeping all options
on the table,
157
00:05:48,329 --> 00:05:50,529
I like it.
158
00:05:50,600 --> 00:05:52,833
Day one of the monster
in the lake investigation,
159
00:05:52,905 --> 00:05:54,372
Zeke Pickering here.
160
00:05:54,441 --> 00:05:55,106
Dronelover 98: We got it!
161
00:05:55,176 --> 00:05:57,110
We got the monster!
162
00:05:57,180 --> 00:05:58,246
Zoom out.
163
00:05:58,315 --> 00:05:59,381
You're too close, zoom out!
164
00:05:59,451 --> 00:06:01,084
- What does it look like
I'm doing?
165
00:06:01,154 --> 00:06:04,523
- Nooo!
166
00:06:04,527 --> 00:06:05,392
Oh.
167
00:06:05,462 --> 00:06:05,861
[quacking]
168
00:06:05,930 --> 00:06:08,631
Nooo.
169
00:06:08,702 --> 00:06:11,236
It's not the monster.
170
00:06:11,307 --> 00:06:12,575
Ah, man.
171
00:06:12,577 --> 00:06:14,444
That's... bummer.
172
00:06:14,447 --> 00:06:15,747
- A duck.
173
00:06:15,749 --> 00:06:16,683
You were freaking out
over a duck.
174
00:06:16,685 --> 00:06:17,483
Give me that.
175
00:06:17,553 --> 00:06:19,086
- It's still my turn.
176
00:06:19,957 --> 00:06:22,257
- You must be Dronelover 99!
177
00:06:22,329 --> 00:06:25,030
- Well, I'm 98, he's 99.
178
00:06:25,034 --> 00:06:26,834
- Oh.
179
00:06:26,903 --> 00:06:28,070
Tell me about the monster.
180
00:06:28,107 --> 00:06:31,242
Dwight: Uh, alleged
monster/probable turtle.
181
00:06:31,313 --> 00:06:33,213
- We've been filming
for like an hour.
182
00:06:33,283 --> 00:06:34,015
- Thirty-eight minutes.
183
00:06:34,084 --> 00:06:35,150
- Filming what?
184
00:06:35,219 --> 00:06:37,588
Dronelover 98: Part of the
kayaking adventure package.
185
00:06:37,591 --> 00:06:39,190
Dronelover 99:
We do paddleboats too.
186
00:06:39,261 --> 00:06:40,394
Zeke: Okay, so
you were filming a kayaker--
187
00:06:40,463 --> 00:06:43,966
Dronelover 98:
When this head, creature thing,
188
00:06:43,970 --> 00:06:45,703
suddenly broke the surface.
189
00:06:45,773 --> 00:06:46,773
Dronelover 99: It was fantastic.
190
00:06:46,842 --> 00:06:48,543
My greatest discovery yet.
191
00:06:48,580 --> 00:06:50,146
Dronelover 98: Oh, so now
it's your discovery?
192
00:06:50,215 --> 00:06:52,651
- And it already has
831 views.
193
00:06:52,655 --> 00:06:53,187
Dronelover 99: Well,
if somebody hadn't forgot
194
00:06:53,188 --> 00:06:54,255
to charge the drone,
195
00:06:54,257 --> 00:06:56,791
we could have gotten more
than one good shot of it.
196
00:06:56,862 --> 00:06:58,230
- Well, maybe if somebody knew
197
00:06:58,232 --> 00:07:00,165
how to operate the zoom button,
then this--
198
00:07:00,235 --> 00:07:00,868
Gretta: Did the Wyv--
199
00:07:00,903 --> 00:07:02,170
Dwight: [coughing purposefully]
200
00:07:02,173 --> 00:07:04,575
Gretta: Uh, uh, the,
201
00:07:04,578 --> 00:07:11,049
the uh, mysterious
dragon-like creature
202
00:07:11,123 --> 00:07:12,790
linger above the surface
for very long?
203
00:07:12,860 --> 00:07:14,560
- Long enough to eat a raccoon.
204
00:07:14,629 --> 00:07:15,429
Zeke: Ha!
205
00:07:15,498 --> 00:07:16,899
Rules out submerged tree.
206
00:07:16,901 --> 00:07:17,800
- Yeah, probably.
207
00:07:17,869 --> 00:07:19,001
[clicking]
208
00:07:19,072 --> 00:07:19,803
- The drone!
209
00:07:19,873 --> 00:07:21,373
[high-pitched whirring]
210
00:07:21,410 --> 00:07:22,676
Dronelover 98 & 99: Ah!
211
00:07:25,550 --> 00:07:27,316
Drone, drone, drone.
212
00:07:27,388 --> 00:07:28,922
- Could Woodside actually
have a monster swimming
213
00:07:28,925 --> 00:07:31,158
in its lake
or are we just dealing
214
00:07:31,229 --> 00:07:33,229
with two
attention-starved weirdies,
215
00:07:33,299 --> 00:07:34,666
and their elaborate hoax.
216
00:07:34,735 --> 00:07:35,200
Dwight: Hoax!
217
00:07:35,270 --> 00:07:35,669
Yes!
218
00:07:35,737 --> 00:07:36,670
Yes, hoax,
219
00:07:36,739 --> 00:07:40,074
that's, it's so obvious.
220
00:07:41,949 --> 00:07:45,184
- Reconvene tomorrow
at 8 a.m.
221
00:07:45,256 --> 00:07:47,089
Dwight: Yeah.
222
00:07:50,065 --> 00:07:51,731
- The peasant is good.
223
00:07:51,801 --> 00:07:52,967
- Too good.
224
00:07:55,142 --> 00:07:57,743
[birds chirping]
225
00:07:57,747 --> 00:08:02,316
♪
226
00:08:02,389 --> 00:08:03,823
- Good, Zeke's not here.
227
00:08:03,825 --> 00:08:04,757
We have to find out
what he knows,
228
00:08:04,827 --> 00:08:06,094
knock him off the trail.
229
00:08:06,096 --> 00:08:07,128
- [sighs]
230
00:08:09,603 --> 00:08:12,806
- I don't usually advocate
this type of invasion of privacy
231
00:08:12,810 --> 00:08:15,310
but, in this case...
232
00:08:20,757 --> 00:08:22,859
It's just a little trick
I learned on YouTube.
233
00:08:22,862 --> 00:08:24,328
It's all in the wrist action.
234
00:08:24,399 --> 00:08:26,966
[bang]
235
00:08:27,003 --> 00:08:28,603
- 'Kay.
236
00:08:28,673 --> 00:08:29,741
He'll be here any minute.
237
00:08:29,743 --> 00:08:31,308
Look for anything
out of the ordinary.
238
00:08:33,182 --> 00:08:34,915
- Would that be
out of the ordinary?
239
00:08:34,985 --> 00:08:38,488
[ominous music]
240
00:08:38,493 --> 00:08:40,859
- He did all that
in one night?
241
00:08:40,930 --> 00:08:42,530
What kind
of obsessed, crazed person
242
00:08:42,600 --> 00:08:44,001
are we dealing with?
243
00:08:44,003 --> 00:08:45,068
[roar]
244
00:08:45,139 --> 00:08:46,270
- Algae!
245
00:08:46,341 --> 00:08:46,806
Gretta and Dwight: [scream]
246
00:08:46,875 --> 00:08:48,776
- [scream]
247
00:08:48,845 --> 00:08:51,579
What are you doing in my office?
248
00:08:51,650 --> 00:08:52,016
Dwight and Gretta:
[stammering]
249
00:08:52,085 --> 00:08:56,321
- It's... 8:03.
250
00:08:56,394 --> 00:08:57,795
- Oh.
251
00:08:57,797 --> 00:09:01,465
Yeah, must have fallen asleep,
252
00:09:01,536 --> 00:09:07,707
but I did make some headway
last night.
253
00:09:07,782 --> 00:09:10,349
[muttering]
Give me a second here.
254
00:09:14,261 --> 00:09:15,193
- You just...
255
00:09:15,263 --> 00:09:18,131
- [gargling]
256
00:09:18,202 --> 00:09:20,903
- Ah.
257
00:09:20,975 --> 00:09:22,241
- [smacking lips]
258
00:09:22,310 --> 00:09:23,710
[chuckles softly]
259
00:09:23,780 --> 00:09:28,482
Okay, what if the sun reflecting
off the south rock,
260
00:09:28,556 --> 00:09:31,258
hit the yellow algae
on the west side of the lake
261
00:09:31,261 --> 00:09:34,130
at the exact moment
the kayaker paddled
262
00:09:34,134 --> 00:09:36,066
through the east cove,
263
00:09:36,137 --> 00:09:40,741
creating a one-in-a-million
optical illusion?
264
00:09:40,746 --> 00:09:44,881
I.e. Woodside's lake monster.
265
00:09:44,954 --> 00:09:47,855
- Of course!
- I love it!
266
00:09:47,926 --> 00:09:51,495
- I loved it too,
until the video came in.
267
00:09:51,567 --> 00:09:54,101
- The video?
268
00:09:54,172 --> 00:09:55,305
Wedding Planner:
So, I was standing here
269
00:09:55,374 --> 00:09:56,774
ordering a case
of buttermints.
270
00:09:56,844 --> 00:09:57,942
- Color?
271
00:09:58,013 --> 00:09:59,679
- Pink.
272
00:09:59,749 --> 00:10:04,018
And I look up and I see this,
on the monitor.
273
00:10:05,627 --> 00:10:09,463
♪
274
00:10:09,502 --> 00:10:13,170
It's from our outside
security cameras.
275
00:10:13,243 --> 00:10:15,544
Dwight: You can barely tell
that it's her.
276
00:10:15,547 --> 00:10:17,415
That it, that it's,
277
00:10:17,418 --> 00:10:18,984
it's an it, it's an it.
278
00:10:19,053 --> 00:10:19,752
It.
279
00:10:22,293 --> 00:10:24,027
Okay, yeah.
280
00:10:24,030 --> 00:10:27,765
That's a little better,
but you can't,
281
00:10:27,837 --> 00:10:28,936
yup, yup,
282
00:10:28,972 --> 00:10:31,808
that's absolutely
immaculate.
283
00:10:31,812 --> 00:10:33,678
Zeke: Uh,
was there anything else?
284
00:10:33,749 --> 00:10:36,516
- And no is a perfectly
acceptable answer.
285
00:10:36,587 --> 00:10:37,788
Wedding Planner: There was a
song that it sang,
286
00:10:37,791 --> 00:10:41,225
like a Taylor Swift
revenge song.
287
00:10:41,297 --> 00:10:45,166
If Taylor Swift ate raccoons
and had scales.
288
00:10:45,238 --> 00:10:48,072
Dwight: Now, now, now see,
if you had audio,
289
00:10:48,143 --> 00:10:49,944
then maybe this
would be helpful,
290
00:10:49,947 --> 00:10:51,446
but, oh, you got it.
291
00:10:51,516 --> 00:10:53,516
Okay.
292
00:10:53,587 --> 00:10:54,586
Um.
293
00:10:54,655 --> 00:10:56,957
[Wyvernese playing]
294
00:10:56,961 --> 00:10:58,661
No, no, I,
295
00:10:58,697 --> 00:11:00,697
you still can't really
hear anything,
296
00:11:00,767 --> 00:11:02,033
but it might be muffled.
297
00:11:02,103 --> 00:11:02,768
[Wyvernese amplified]
298
00:11:02,838 --> 00:11:03,804
Yeah, there it is...
299
00:11:03,874 --> 00:11:05,540
[Wyvernese amplified]
300
00:11:07,581 --> 00:11:09,115
- Most unsettling.
301
00:11:09,117 --> 00:11:10,051
- Yeah,
I would say more Lady Gaga,
302
00:11:10,053 --> 00:11:10,985
than Taylor Swift,
303
00:11:11,054 --> 00:11:12,487
but I see
where she was going with it.
304
00:11:12,557 --> 00:11:14,023
- What does this
exasperating wyvern want now?
305
00:11:14,094 --> 00:11:15,060
- I don't know,
306
00:11:15,096 --> 00:11:16,829
but we've gotta put a lid on it
before it gets...
307
00:11:16,898 --> 00:11:22,536
[excited crowd noises]
308
00:11:22,610 --> 00:11:26,379
Crowd: [chanting]
Free the lake monster!
309
00:11:26,450 --> 00:11:28,017
- ...out of control.
310
00:11:28,054 --> 00:11:28,954
[crowd clamors]
311
00:11:28,956 --> 00:11:30,289
- [sighs]
312
00:11:33,231 --> 00:11:34,632
- He's just misunderstood,
313
00:11:34,634 --> 00:11:37,536
like, he just wants love,
you know.
314
00:11:37,540 --> 00:11:38,872
- There's nothing
to be afraid of, monster,
315
00:11:38,942 --> 00:11:40,574
we love you!
316
00:11:40,646 --> 00:11:41,978
Both: We love you!
317
00:11:42,047 --> 00:11:47,151
We love you!
[squealing]
318
00:11:47,224 --> 00:11:49,025
Dronelover 98:
Get your monster shirts here!
319
00:11:49,094 --> 00:11:50,627
Buy three,
320
00:11:50,698 --> 00:11:52,531
get one "I heart the beast" hat
half off.
321
00:11:52,601 --> 00:11:52,868
[pneumatic pop]
322
00:11:52,869 --> 00:11:53,200
[thunk]
323
00:11:53,269 --> 00:11:53,868
- Oh.
324
00:11:53,937 --> 00:11:55,403
- Today only!
325
00:11:55,473 --> 00:11:56,372
- [grunts]
326
00:11:59,314 --> 00:12:00,747
Oh.
327
00:12:00,816 --> 00:12:02,016
So cheesy.
328
00:12:02,087 --> 00:12:03,352
You know, it--
329
00:12:03,423 --> 00:12:04,288
it's this kind
of gross commercialism
330
00:12:04,357 --> 00:12:07,193
that destroys nice little towns
every day.
331
00:12:07,196 --> 00:12:09,798
- This is not
the panicked frenzy I expected.
332
00:12:09,802 --> 00:12:13,637
What kind of peasants
aren't afraid of a dragon?
333
00:12:13,709 --> 00:12:16,044
Make for the hills!
334
00:12:16,047 --> 00:12:18,814
She'll eat your young ones!
335
00:12:18,885 --> 00:12:22,520
[crowd clamor
continues unabated]
336
00:12:22,593 --> 00:12:24,392
Nothing.
337
00:12:24,464 --> 00:12:25,396
- Well, she's just
minding her own business,
338
00:12:25,465 --> 00:12:26,465
just swimming around.
339
00:12:26,534 --> 00:12:32,571
I mean, she's not gonna eat
anybody, she's just...
340
00:12:32,646 --> 00:12:36,549
She's trying to tell us
something.
341
00:12:36,554 --> 00:12:38,654
- But what?
342
00:12:39,660 --> 00:12:41,392
- [soft gasp]
343
00:12:44,134 --> 00:12:45,234
Mm.
344
00:12:45,270 --> 00:12:46,970
Baldric: Hm.
345
00:12:47,040 --> 00:12:48,707
- Unicorn tail.
346
00:12:48,776 --> 00:12:50,242
Baldric: Yes.
347
00:12:58,596 --> 00:12:59,595
You think this will work?
348
00:12:59,665 --> 00:13:01,632
- Sh.
349
00:13:01,668 --> 00:13:04,102
Griffin milk.
350
00:13:07,480 --> 00:13:08,813
- [exhales softly]
351
00:13:08,882 --> 00:13:09,482
[clink]
352
00:13:09,484 --> 00:13:11,917
Yeah, oo.
353
00:13:16,196 --> 00:13:17,929
Careful.
354
00:13:20,238 --> 00:13:21,770
[small sizzles]
355
00:13:21,841 --> 00:13:25,542
Oh, oh.
356
00:13:25,614 --> 00:13:26,648
- Mm.
357
00:13:26,717 --> 00:13:28,050
- Huh.
358
00:13:28,119 --> 00:13:33,658
[tentative chuckle]
359
00:13:33,664 --> 00:13:36,230
Ha, ha, ha.
360
00:13:36,302 --> 00:13:38,169
I do believe it worked.
361
00:13:38,239 --> 00:13:39,138
- Hm.
362
00:13:39,208 --> 00:13:42,143
- Hexela.
363
00:13:42,213 --> 00:13:44,647
You are the woman of my--
364
00:13:44,719 --> 00:13:45,250
[explosion]
365
00:13:45,319 --> 00:13:46,386
Both: [scream]
366
00:13:46,388 --> 00:13:48,322
[hissing steam]
367
00:13:48,392 --> 00:13:49,259
Baldric: Evacuate!
368
00:13:49,261 --> 00:13:57,735
Both: [coughing]
369
00:13:57,744 --> 00:13:59,076
Baldric: Hexie,
are you all right?
370
00:13:59,146 --> 00:14:00,645
- [huge cough]
371
00:14:00,716 --> 00:14:01,248
Ah.
372
00:14:01,316 --> 00:14:02,383
- What's amiss?
373
00:14:02,452 --> 00:14:04,319
- Not griffin milk.
374
00:14:04,390 --> 00:14:05,924
- Obviously.
375
00:14:05,927 --> 00:14:07,259
[cough]
376
00:14:07,328 --> 00:14:10,430
Gretta: I'm afraid
we have dire news.
377
00:14:10,502 --> 00:14:11,367
Dwight: Maybe dire,
we don't really know.
378
00:14:11,437 --> 00:14:16,106
- The wyvern has surfaced
in Crescent Lake.
379
00:14:16,179 --> 00:14:16,645
- What?
380
00:14:16,714 --> 00:14:17,580
- Why?
381
00:14:17,649 --> 00:14:19,549
- Perhaps to beckon us.
382
00:14:19,585 --> 00:14:21,386
Dwight: Yeah,
I have the audio drop
383
00:14:21,456 --> 00:14:22,722
from the wedding planner.
384
00:14:22,793 --> 00:14:24,759
Hexela: Hm.
385
00:14:24,829 --> 00:14:25,428
[Wyvernese playing]
386
00:14:25,497 --> 00:14:26,564
Mm-hm.
387
00:14:26,566 --> 00:14:31,269
[Wyvernese playing]
388
00:14:31,342 --> 00:14:32,243
Oh.
389
00:14:32,244 --> 00:14:33,844
[gasp]
390
00:14:33,847 --> 00:14:34,780
[Wyvernese playing]
391
00:14:34,849 --> 00:14:37,684
Oh my.
392
00:14:37,755 --> 00:14:40,088
[click]
393
00:14:40,159 --> 00:14:43,961
There's a half off sale
at Bernwick's Ale and Cheese.
394
00:14:44,032 --> 00:14:45,467
Gretta, Baldric and Hexela: Ooo.
395
00:14:45,470 --> 00:14:47,069
Hexela: Yes.
396
00:14:47,139 --> 00:14:48,271
Wait, no.
397
00:14:48,341 --> 00:14:49,507
Play that last part again.
398
00:14:49,577 --> 00:14:49,976
The, the, the...
399
00:14:50,045 --> 00:14:51,511
- Uh.
400
00:14:51,580 --> 00:14:55,416
[Wyvernese playing]
401
00:14:55,489 --> 00:14:57,822
- [snorting laughter]
402
00:14:57,893 --> 00:14:58,625
Forgive me.
403
00:14:58,694 --> 00:15:00,361
All: [laugh]
404
00:15:00,432 --> 00:15:04,667
Hexela: Um, ruin, desolation,
dark times return.
405
00:15:04,740 --> 00:15:07,174
- And that sounded
like half off at Bernbob's?
406
00:15:07,245 --> 00:15:08,746
- Bernwick's.
407
00:15:08,749 --> 00:15:11,415
Wyvernese is
a very complex dialect.
408
00:15:11,487 --> 00:15:12,853
- Huh.
409
00:15:12,889 --> 00:15:15,356
Baldric: Dark times return.
410
00:15:15,428 --> 00:15:16,960
- Wh-what does that mean?
411
00:15:17,030 --> 00:15:18,529
Dark times.
412
00:15:18,601 --> 00:15:20,467
- If it means what I fear--
413
00:15:20,537 --> 00:15:21,070
Gretta: We must find out
for certain.
414
00:15:21,138 --> 00:15:21,737
Hexela: Mm-hm.
415
00:15:21,840 --> 00:15:22,774
- Yes.
416
00:15:22,776 --> 00:15:23,774
- I'll speak to the wyvern.
417
00:15:23,844 --> 00:15:24,511
Baldric: Mm.
418
00:15:24,512 --> 00:15:26,078
Dwight: But how?
419
00:15:26,148 --> 00:15:27,414
I mean,
there's tourists everywhere
420
00:15:27,484 --> 00:15:28,616
and Zeke's
all over the story.
421
00:15:28,686 --> 00:15:29,252
- Well, don't worry,
422
00:15:29,288 --> 00:15:30,954
I'll turn them
into parsnips.
423
00:15:31,024 --> 00:15:32,291
[small laugh]
424
00:15:32,294 --> 00:15:33,359
Dwight: No.
425
00:15:33,429 --> 00:15:35,462
- I understand your objection.
426
00:15:35,534 --> 00:15:36,265
Cabbages, then.
427
00:15:36,334 --> 00:15:36,599
Baldric: Ah, yes.
428
00:15:36,668 --> 00:15:37,468
Gretta: Ah.
429
00:15:37,537 --> 00:15:39,305
- You think I think
cabbages are better?
430
00:15:39,307 --> 00:15:40,439
- I know I do.
431
00:15:40,509 --> 00:15:42,609
Baldric: Wouldn't you rather
be a cabbage than a parsnip?
432
00:15:42,680 --> 00:15:43,479
Hm?
433
00:15:43,548 --> 00:15:44,614
- Who wouldn't?
434
00:15:44,684 --> 00:15:45,650
Baldric: I've been a parsnip.
435
00:15:45,686 --> 00:15:46,885
[chuckle]
436
00:15:46,954 --> 00:15:48,155
- When have you been a pars--
437
00:15:48,158 --> 00:15:49,691
you, you, know, no.
438
00:15:49,760 --> 00:15:50,661
Never mind.
439
00:15:50,663 --> 00:15:51,661
No!
440
00:15:51,731 --> 00:15:53,865
No cabbages, no parsnips.
441
00:15:53,935 --> 00:15:57,938
We'll just-- we'll just go
out to the south bank.
442
00:15:57,977 --> 00:15:59,543
No one's ever on that side
of the lake.
443
00:15:59,579 --> 00:16:02,681
[loon calls]
444
00:16:06,225 --> 00:16:07,592
Hexela: Mm.
445
00:16:07,662 --> 00:16:09,329
Mm.
446
00:16:10,333 --> 00:16:11,499
[spritz]
447
00:16:11,569 --> 00:16:13,302
Mm.
448
00:16:13,373 --> 00:16:14,305
Mm, delicious.
449
00:16:14,375 --> 00:16:17,544
[clears throat]
450
00:16:17,548 --> 00:16:20,882
[very melodic] Mi-i-i-.
451
00:16:20,954 --> 00:16:32,130
[Wyvernese]
452
00:16:32,209 --> 00:16:37,346
Fangirls: [squealing]
453
00:16:37,420 --> 00:16:38,553
Fangirl 2: Where is it?
454
00:16:38,622 --> 00:16:40,390
Fangirl: We're here for you!
455
00:16:40,392 --> 00:16:43,026
Fangirl 2: Run away
with me, lake beast.
456
00:16:43,064 --> 00:16:51,270
[crowd clamoring]
457
00:16:51,346 --> 00:16:53,113
Gretta: So many peasants.
458
00:16:53,183 --> 00:16:55,350
- Uh, false alarm everybody!
459
00:16:55,388 --> 00:16:57,522
There's no lake monster here.
460
00:16:57,592 --> 00:16:58,925
Sorry.
461
00:16:58,995 --> 00:17:01,562
Maybe go check
by the paddle boats.
462
00:17:01,633 --> 00:17:02,698
Yeah.
463
00:17:06,476 --> 00:17:07,675
At least Zeke's not here.
464
00:17:07,744 --> 00:17:09,379
[thump]
465
00:17:09,382 --> 00:17:10,180
- Huh.
466
00:17:10,250 --> 00:17:10,983
- And there you are.
467
00:17:10,985 --> 00:17:11,750
- Putting in the overtime.
468
00:17:11,786 --> 00:17:15,054
Love the hustle, Woodchuckians.
469
00:17:19,634 --> 00:17:20,735
- [loud whisper] Diversion. Now.
470
00:17:20,737 --> 00:17:22,403
Something, anything.
471
00:17:22,473 --> 00:17:25,776
- Leave it to me.
472
00:17:25,780 --> 00:17:29,047
Behold, the creature!
473
00:17:29,120 --> 00:17:36,358
Crowd:
[squealing and yelling]
474
00:17:36,433 --> 00:17:37,667
Baldric: Ha, ha.
475
00:17:37,736 --> 00:17:38,203
Ah.
476
00:17:38,205 --> 00:17:40,072
[thump]
477
00:17:40,074 --> 00:17:40,772
Ha, ha.
478
00:17:40,842 --> 00:17:42,443
[thump]
479
00:17:42,446 --> 00:17:44,546
Wah!
480
00:17:44,583 --> 00:17:46,249
Dwight: There's
the real story, Zeke.
481
00:17:46,320 --> 00:17:47,319
See right there?
482
00:17:47,388 --> 00:17:52,491
This, this lake monster mania
is a danger to the public.
483
00:17:52,565 --> 00:17:55,000
Pandemonium at Woodside Lake.
484
00:17:55,003 --> 00:17:57,703
Grown man tripped three times
in three seconds.
485
00:17:57,775 --> 00:17:59,174
- [rough gasps]
486
00:17:59,244 --> 00:18:01,778
Follow me, peasants!
487
00:18:01,849 --> 00:18:02,515
Quickly.
488
00:18:02,585 --> 00:18:02,918
- [screams]
489
00:18:02,919 --> 00:18:04,119
[thud]
490
00:18:04,121 --> 00:18:05,053
Dwight: Oh, girl sprains ankle.
491
00:18:05,122 --> 00:18:07,824
Another drops her phone.
492
00:18:07,894 --> 00:18:09,160
- Public safety message.
493
00:18:09,230 --> 00:18:10,130
- Let's go interview
the survivors.
494
00:18:10,199 --> 00:18:11,732
Yeah?
495
00:18:14,173 --> 00:18:16,240
[bubbling]
496
00:18:16,310 --> 00:18:17,643
[spurt]
497
00:18:19,183 --> 00:18:24,553
[splashing]
498
00:18:24,627 --> 00:18:25,459
- [sigh]
499
00:18:29,737 --> 00:18:33,305
- [Wyvernese]
500
00:18:33,377 --> 00:18:37,379
- Oh, well met,
child of a thief.
501
00:18:37,451 --> 00:18:40,419
- [Wyvernese]
502
00:18:40,491 --> 00:18:41,957
Hexela: Where is my champion?
503
00:18:42,027 --> 00:18:43,059
- [Wyvernese]
504
00:18:43,130 --> 00:18:44,063
- Your champion?
505
00:18:44,131 --> 00:18:46,064
- [Wyvernese]
506
00:18:46,135 --> 00:18:48,769
Hexela:
My message is for him.
507
00:18:48,840 --> 00:18:50,140
- He had to run off.
508
00:18:50,176 --> 00:18:53,844
- [Wyvernese]
509
00:18:53,918 --> 00:18:56,217
Hexela: I owe him
a debt of gratitude.
510
00:18:56,289 --> 00:18:57,488
- I'll give him the message.
511
00:18:57,557 --> 00:19:00,458
- [Wyvernese]
512
00:19:00,530 --> 00:19:01,395
- [Wyvernese]
513
00:19:01,466 --> 00:19:02,832
I'll wait.
514
00:19:02,901 --> 00:19:04,167
- [Wyvernese]
515
00:19:04,237 --> 00:19:07,971
Zeke: I don't believe it!
516
00:19:08,045 --> 00:19:10,380
It's the... it's the...
517
00:19:10,383 --> 00:19:11,816
- [Wyvernese snort]
518
00:19:11,818 --> 00:19:13,418
Dwight: [panting] Okay.
519
00:19:13,488 --> 00:19:14,754
I think I lost Zeke.
520
00:19:14,824 --> 00:19:17,526
Oh, great, I thought I lost you.
521
00:19:17,530 --> 00:19:20,297
- The lake monster.
522
00:19:20,368 --> 00:19:26,538
- Uh, there is a,
a really simple explanation, um,
523
00:19:26,614 --> 00:19:28,480
[groans in defeat]
524
00:19:28,551 --> 00:19:30,752
Gretta, you want to take
this one?
525
00:19:30,755 --> 00:19:33,123
- It's coming!
526
00:19:33,126 --> 00:19:35,760
Crowd: [squealing]
527
00:19:35,832 --> 00:19:37,965
He's here!
528
00:19:38,036 --> 00:19:44,407
Crowd: [clamoring]
529
00:19:44,481 --> 00:19:46,348
- Uh, guys.
530
00:19:46,419 --> 00:19:48,854
Crowd: [clamoring]
531
00:19:48,857 --> 00:19:51,390
Zeke: New York Times
eat your heart out.
532
00:19:51,463 --> 00:19:58,669
[crowd noise continues]
533
00:19:58,676 --> 00:19:59,842
Dronelover 99: I told you
this was a stupid idea.
534
00:19:59,878 --> 00:20:06,583
[distant indistinct arguing]
535
00:20:06,658 --> 00:20:08,058
Winnie: [Wyvernese snark]
536
00:20:08,127 --> 00:20:09,460
- [scream]
537
00:20:13,471 --> 00:20:15,404
Crowd: [disappointed sounds]
538
00:20:15,475 --> 00:20:17,141
- Huh.
539
00:20:18,882 --> 00:20:20,347
Fangirl 3: It's a hoax.
540
00:20:20,418 --> 00:20:22,118
- Nooo!
541
00:20:22,187 --> 00:20:32,630
[disappointed crowd noises]
542
00:20:32,675 --> 00:20:36,078
Dronelover 98: Wait! Wait!
543
00:20:36,082 --> 00:20:38,717
The video, it was real.
544
00:20:38,721 --> 00:20:39,787
We just,
545
00:20:39,789 --> 00:20:43,892
we just wanted to give the crowd
a little excitement.
546
00:20:43,897 --> 00:20:46,397
Sell, sell some shirts.
547
00:20:46,469 --> 00:20:47,401
Dronelover 99: Her idea.
548
00:20:47,470 --> 00:20:49,037
I'll go on record.
549
00:20:49,074 --> 00:20:51,007
Dronelover 98: Please!
550
00:20:52,480 --> 00:20:53,146
- [disappointedly] Hoax.
551
00:20:53,214 --> 00:20:55,381
Just a hoax?
552
00:20:55,453 --> 00:20:57,253
For just a second, I thought...
553
00:20:57,322 --> 00:21:00,423
but it still feels
like I'm missing something.
554
00:21:00,496 --> 00:21:01,095
- [Wyvernese snort]
555
00:21:01,097 --> 00:21:02,931
Zeke: Something obvious.
556
00:21:02,934 --> 00:21:05,435
Right in front of my face,
but what?
557
00:21:05,472 --> 00:21:06,404
Winnie: [quiet Wyvernese]
558
00:21:06,474 --> 00:21:06,873
- [desperate whisper] Winnie!
559
00:21:06,941 --> 00:21:07,873
- What am I missing?
560
00:21:07,943 --> 00:21:10,510
- [quiet Wyvernese snort]
561
00:21:10,582 --> 00:21:12,583
Dwight: Probably
just a little sleep, man.
562
00:21:12,586 --> 00:21:14,820
- [quiet Wyvernese]
563
00:21:14,890 --> 00:21:16,957
Dwight: Ah, come on,
don't take it so hard.
564
00:21:17,028 --> 00:21:19,329
At least you solved
the leaky fountain mystery.
565
00:21:19,332 --> 00:21:20,264
I mean, that was great.
566
00:21:20,334 --> 00:21:20,665
Right?
567
00:21:20,735 --> 00:21:21,068
- Yeah.
568
00:21:21,070 --> 00:21:21,835
- Right?
569
00:21:21,870 --> 00:21:23,004
Okay.
570
00:21:23,006 --> 00:21:24,072
See you at school.
571
00:21:24,141 --> 00:21:27,509
Baldric: [panting]
572
00:21:27,582 --> 00:21:29,849
- Well, the lake monster story
has deflated
573
00:21:29,919 --> 00:21:32,019
as fast as it arrived.
574
00:21:32,090 --> 00:21:34,157
Just a couple
of sad, lonely geeks
575
00:21:34,227 --> 00:21:35,660
looking for a little attention.
576
00:21:35,730 --> 00:21:36,596
Baldric: Oh, oh.
577
00:21:36,665 --> 00:21:37,733
- Baldric!
578
00:21:37,735 --> 00:21:39,768
- Oh, oh.
579
00:21:39,838 --> 00:21:44,842
I have kindling
in my crevices.
580
00:21:44,915 --> 00:21:46,448
Hexela: Oh.
581
00:21:46,517 --> 00:21:48,017
- You really took one
for the team, man.
582
00:21:49,424 --> 00:21:50,556
- Ah!
583
00:21:50,625 --> 00:21:52,126
My Lady Wyvern.
584
00:21:52,196 --> 00:21:58,101
- [Wyvernese]
585
00:21:58,107 --> 00:22:01,374
- The evil that was buried
here long ago is unearthed.
586
00:22:01,447 --> 00:22:02,846
Winnie: [Wyvernese]
587
00:22:02,916 --> 00:22:04,216
- It rises.
588
00:22:04,285 --> 00:22:06,953
- [Wyvernese]
589
00:22:07,024 --> 00:22:08,124
Hexela: It gathers strength.
590
00:22:08,194 --> 00:22:10,795
- [Wyvernese]
591
00:22:10,865 --> 00:22:13,031
Hexela: If you desire to save
your own life, run.
592
00:22:13,103 --> 00:22:18,573
- [Wyvernese]
593
00:22:18,647 --> 00:22:20,548
Hexela: If you desire
to save this land, stay...
594
00:22:20,617 --> 00:22:22,083
-[Wyvernese]
595
00:22:22,153 --> 00:22:24,788
- And fight.
596
00:22:24,859 --> 00:22:27,125
- Got it.
597
00:22:27,197 --> 00:22:29,699
- [Wyvernese]
598
00:22:29,702 --> 00:22:31,235
- I will stand with you.
599
00:22:31,304 --> 00:22:33,105
- [Wyvernese]
600
00:22:33,175 --> 00:22:34,774
Dwight: I appreciate that.
601
00:22:34,845 --> 00:22:36,812
Winnie and Hexela:
[Wyvernese]
602
00:22:41,124 --> 00:22:43,591
[magical noise]
603
00:22:43,662 --> 00:22:45,696
[splash]
604
00:22:45,766 --> 00:22:53,071
♪
605
00:22:53,147 --> 00:22:54,814
So, let's hope week two
of our journalism career
606
00:22:54,883 --> 00:22:56,517
is a little less eventful.
607
00:22:56,587 --> 00:22:57,719
[sigh]
608
00:22:57,789 --> 00:22:59,188
- Afternoon, people.
609
00:22:59,260 --> 00:23:01,559
McCollis, McCollis, well done
610
00:23:01,631 --> 00:23:03,565
on the Principal Shoemaker
response piece.
611
00:23:03,568 --> 00:23:05,301
Fair, but unwavering.
612
00:23:05,370 --> 00:23:08,037
Parker, Gillespie,
nice Woodchuck pics.
613
00:23:08,110 --> 00:23:10,343
And Dwight, Gretta,
the three of us
614
00:23:10,413 --> 00:23:11,479
are teaming up
on a new lead.
615
00:23:11,549 --> 00:23:12,516
- Bring it.
616
00:23:12,518 --> 00:23:16,320
- Mysterious holes are
turning up all over Woodside.
617
00:23:16,392 --> 00:23:22,296
[ominous music]
618
00:23:22,370 --> 00:23:37,116
♪
619
00:23:37,165 --> 00:23:52,211
♪
620
00:23:52,295 --> 00:23:57,231
♪
621
00:23:57,305 --> 00:23:58,186
♪
622
00:23:58,236 --> 00:24:02,786
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