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[ominous music]
2
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♪
3
00:00:13,681 --> 00:00:20,986
[coughing]
4
00:00:21,600 --> 00:00:27,004
- Not again.
5
00:00:27,073 --> 00:00:27,738
Gretta: Did you remember
to pack your night clothes
6
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and your socks?
7
00:00:29,375 --> 00:00:30,173
Baldric: Yes, yes,
8
00:00:30,243 --> 00:00:31,709
yes.
9
00:00:31,644 --> 00:00:33,910
Gretta: And your tooth
cleaning brush?
10
00:00:33,946 --> 00:00:36,947
- Everything is ready,
but this is folly.
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I cannot go
and leave you unattended.
12
00:00:38,618 --> 00:00:40,017
Gretta: Nonsense.
13
00:00:39,953 --> 00:00:42,987
Prince Chlodwig and
Sir Dwight will attend to me.
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00:00:43,055 --> 00:00:44,121
Baldric: But, Highness...
15
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Gretta: The assembly
of the magician's guild meets
16
00:00:46,292 --> 00:00:48,225
once only every...
17
00:00:48,161 --> 00:00:50,061
Baldric: Five hundred years.
18
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- You must go.
19
00:00:51,397 --> 00:00:52,797
- [frustrated sigh]
20
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[door squeaks]
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00:00:53,733 --> 00:00:54,198
Dwight: Oh, hey Gretta,
22
00:00:54,267 --> 00:00:55,132
hey Baldric.
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You ready for your trip?
24
00:00:56,336 --> 00:00:57,501
Baldric: Yes.
25
00:00:57,570 --> 00:00:59,537
I must be off.
26
00:00:59,572 --> 00:01:00,237
Dwight: You guys know
about this note
27
00:01:00,306 --> 00:01:01,205
on the front of your door?
28
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[door shuts]
29
00:01:02,608 --> 00:01:04,608
Gretta: What note?
30
00:01:04,544 --> 00:01:05,910
Oh, it's addressed
to you, Chlodwig.
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- Is it?
32
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- Hey man, soundin' good.
33
00:01:08,715 --> 00:01:11,249
- My first performance
is tomorrow.
34
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You will attend, Sir Dwight?
35
00:01:12,585 --> 00:01:14,418
Dwight: Wouldn't miss it, buddy.
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Baldric: I take my leave
of you, Highness.
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00:01:16,622 --> 00:01:17,722
Gretta: Good journey, Baldric.
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00:01:17,790 --> 00:01:18,655
- See you Thursday.
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Have fun.
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Baldric: Protect the princess
with your very life,
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nay your very soul.
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Dwight: Will do.
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[slap]
44
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[grunt]
45
00:01:34,374 --> 00:01:37,375
Chlodwig: 'Tis a challenge,
written in most rude language.
46
00:01:37,310 --> 00:01:38,876
Gretta: What manner
of challenge?
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Chlodwig: I've been called
out to defend my title
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as champion of the hammer throw.
49
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- By whom?
50
00:01:43,749 --> 00:01:44,749
Chlodwig: It doesn't say,
51
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but the contest is
at mid-day.
52
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I must be off at once.
53
00:01:47,720 --> 00:01:49,253
Dwight: Hey, hang on,
54
00:01:49,321 --> 00:01:50,554
we promised Baldric
that we'd stay with Gretta.
55
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Gretta: And so you shall.
56
00:01:52,091 --> 00:01:53,758
We shall all go
to the contest.
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I do so love a hammer throw.
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Chlodwig: Brilliant.
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Baldric couldn't possibly
object to a brief excursion
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00:01:58,931 --> 00:01:59,596
into the woods.
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00:01:59,665 --> 00:02:01,332
- Uh.
62
00:02:01,400 --> 00:02:02,833
- Oh, don't be such
a mubble-fubble, Sir Dwight.
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00:02:02,769 --> 00:02:04,568
[smack]
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We promised we'd stay together,
and so we will.
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00:02:05,972 --> 00:02:07,271
Let's away.
66
00:02:07,340 --> 00:02:08,138
- [sigh]
67
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[theme music]
68
00:02:09,475 --> 00:02:10,141
Dwight: Okay, so
about a thousand years ago,
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00:02:10,076 --> 00:02:12,610
there was this princess, Gretta.
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00:02:12,711 --> 00:02:13,511
And she was in big trouble
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00:02:13,579 --> 00:02:14,211
because she had lots of enemies
72
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and not a lot of friends.
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♪
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00:02:17,984 --> 00:02:22,286
So her court magician, Baldric
cast the champion spell.
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00:02:22,388 --> 00:02:23,454
It put everyone in the woods
to sleep
76
00:02:23,389 --> 00:02:24,588
until a champion would come,
77
00:02:24,657 --> 00:02:25,790
break the spell
with his kiss,
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00:02:25,858 --> 00:02:27,825
and deal with Gretta's
big, scary enemies.
79
00:02:27,760 --> 00:02:29,627
But that guy, never showed up.
80
00:02:29,695 --> 00:02:29,894
Instead...
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00:02:29,962 --> 00:02:31,395
Ah!
82
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[kiss]
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they got me.
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♪
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Ah!
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♪
87
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Ow!
88
00:02:40,039 --> 00:02:50,781
♪
89
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♪
90
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[thwacking]
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00:03:06,566 --> 00:03:07,464
Dwight: Are you sure you know
where you're going?
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00:03:07,500 --> 00:03:09,232
Chlodwig:
The challenge was clear,
93
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we're to meet
upon the great knoll,
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00:03:11,504 --> 00:03:13,938
just north of the muddy peat,
95
00:03:14,006 --> 00:03:16,974
two furlongs
from the brambly oak.
96
00:03:17,042 --> 00:03:17,975
- It's almost mid-day.
97
00:03:18,044 --> 00:03:19,777
- We must make haste.
98
00:03:19,712 --> 00:03:23,146
Dwight: I can't make
much more haste, man.
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00:03:23,216 --> 00:03:23,747
Oh.
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00:03:23,849 --> 00:03:26,483
Uh.
101
00:03:26,552 --> 00:03:28,986
Chlodwig: There,
the brambly oaks.
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[bird calls]
103
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[crunch]
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00:03:35,427 --> 00:03:36,927
Dwight: Ah!
105
00:03:36,863 --> 00:03:38,462
[crash]
106
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[coughing]
107
00:03:39,933 --> 00:03:41,332
Dwight: What?
108
00:03:41,400 --> 00:03:42,666
Is everybody okay?
109
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[coughing]
110
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Dwight: [screaming]
111
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Snakes!
112
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Snakes everywhere!
113
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[screaming]
114
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- They're not poisonous.
115
00:03:53,379 --> 00:03:54,579
Dwight: How do you know?
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00:03:54,647 --> 00:03:55,579
That one there,
that one looks poisonous.
117
00:03:55,648 --> 00:03:56,613
What is it?
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Red touches black,
you're dead Jack,
119
00:03:58,651 --> 00:04:00,718
or yellow touches red,
you're dead Fred?
120
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[thwap]
121
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Ah!
122
00:04:02,755 --> 00:04:04,822
Dwight: What?
123
00:04:04,757 --> 00:04:06,523
Agnet: Oh, dear me.
124
00:04:06,592 --> 00:04:08,492
Poor, hapless soul,
125
00:04:08,461 --> 00:04:10,161
wherefore art thou
at the bottom
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00:04:10,229 --> 00:04:12,996
of this deep pit full of snakes?
127
00:04:13,032 --> 00:04:14,832
Chlodwig: Oh no.
128
00:04:14,900 --> 00:04:16,767
It's her.
129
00:04:16,836 --> 00:04:20,203
Dwight: Hey there,
is this your rope thing?
130
00:04:20,273 --> 00:04:22,106
- 'Tis a braid of hair.
131
00:04:22,041 --> 00:04:24,975
Agnet: Is that you,
Prince Chlodwig?
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[Dwight yelping]
133
00:04:28,081 --> 00:04:29,146
- Agnet!
134
00:04:29,214 --> 00:04:30,747
- Oh! My darling.
135
00:04:30,817 --> 00:04:32,283
Chlodwig: You go too far.
136
00:04:32,218 --> 00:04:33,484
[Dwight making
panicked noises]
137
00:04:33,419 --> 00:04:34,518
Agnet: There are no lengths
138
00:04:34,586 --> 00:04:37,588
I wouldn't go for you,
my love.
139
00:04:37,523 --> 00:04:39,489
- Who is this maiden?
140
00:04:39,559 --> 00:04:41,025
Chlodwig: The scourge
of my life,
141
00:04:40,960 --> 00:04:43,661
the bane of my existence.
142
00:04:43,762 --> 00:04:45,195
- I've come to rescue you.
143
00:04:45,264 --> 00:04:45,796
Dwight: Thank you,
thank you, thank you.
144
00:04:45,831 --> 00:04:47,531
Chlodwig: Absolutely no.
145
00:04:47,600 --> 00:04:49,466
Agnet: Absolutely yes.
146
00:04:49,535 --> 00:04:51,969
I shall save you from this pit
of deadly snakes.
147
00:04:52,037 --> 00:04:53,971
Gretta: Deadly?
148
00:04:53,907 --> 00:04:55,940
- Very deadly.
149
00:04:56,041 --> 00:04:57,074
- Red touches black,
you're dead, Jack.
150
00:04:57,143 --> 00:04:58,075
Agnet: Chlodwig, my sweet,
151
00:04:58,011 --> 00:05:01,578
simply grab hold
of my long, luscious braid
152
00:05:01,647 --> 00:05:03,614
and pull yourself out
of the pit to safety.
153
00:05:03,682 --> 00:05:04,749
- I love this plan.
154
00:05:04,817 --> 00:05:09,020
Agnet: That we may be married
and live happily ever after.
155
00:05:08,955 --> 00:05:12,189
Chlodwig: I will never
marry you, Agnet.
156
00:05:12,257 --> 00:05:13,257
[thwap]
157
00:05:13,192 --> 00:05:14,191
Dwight: Maybe dump the girl
158
00:05:14,127 --> 00:05:16,293
after we get out
of this snake pit?
159
00:05:16,362 --> 00:05:18,562
- But you are
my prince charming.
160
00:05:18,498 --> 00:05:22,266
Gretta: The snakes
are growing restless.
161
00:05:22,201 --> 00:05:24,001
Stabilize your head, maiden.
162
00:05:24,070 --> 00:05:25,669
We are climbing up.
163
00:05:25,738 --> 00:05:27,972
- Is that a girl?
164
00:05:28,040 --> 00:05:29,707
- I am
Princess Gretta the Besieged.
165
00:05:29,775 --> 00:05:31,475
Agnet: [gasp] Gretta?
166
00:05:31,543 --> 00:05:33,678
Ugh, why did you bring Gretta?
167
00:05:33,746 --> 00:05:35,512
Unhand my braid,
this is a plan for my prince,
168
00:05:35,581 --> 00:05:36,914
not for you.
169
00:05:37,016 --> 00:05:39,650
Dwight: Wait, you,
you planned this?
170
00:05:39,718 --> 00:05:42,919
- See, see how much I love you?
171
00:05:42,989 --> 00:05:45,623
Chlodwig: She is out
of her tiny mind.
172
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You cannot believe,
173
00:05:48,327 --> 00:05:50,861
was it you who sent this
challenge of the hammer throw
174
00:05:50,930 --> 00:05:52,630
on the great knoll?
175
00:05:52,565 --> 00:05:54,565
- It was.
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00:05:54,634 --> 00:05:56,167
Gretta: And filled this pit
with deadly snakes?
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00:05:56,102 --> 00:05:57,501
- Oh yes.
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00:05:57,437 --> 00:05:59,236
- And got us to fall into it?
179
00:05:59,172 --> 00:06:02,073
- All to prove my love
for you, my darling prince.
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00:06:02,141 --> 00:06:03,274
Dwight: Wow.
181
00:06:03,342 --> 00:06:05,243
You think about the logistics
of actually pulling this off--
182
00:06:05,311 --> 00:06:06,644
Chlodwig: What kind
of a lunatic
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00:06:06,579 --> 00:06:11,482
would imperil someone's life
to prove their love?
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00:06:11,550 --> 00:06:13,016
Agnet: Chlodwig, my sweet,
start climbing,
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00:06:13,086 --> 00:06:14,752
we are on a schedule today.
186
00:06:14,820 --> 00:06:15,886
Chlodwig: I suggest instead
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00:06:15,822 --> 00:06:18,389
that we live out our lives
down here.
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'Tis a comfortable pit
of ample size
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00:06:19,926 --> 00:06:21,825
and well- stocked
with snake meat.
190
00:06:21,894 --> 00:06:23,961
- [sigh]
191
00:06:24,063 --> 00:06:24,996
- Mm.
192
00:06:24,931 --> 00:06:26,464
[exhales]
193
00:06:26,399 --> 00:06:27,465
- Ow!
194
00:06:27,533 --> 00:06:28,165
Ow.
195
00:06:28,201 --> 00:06:30,734
[crash]
196
00:06:30,803 --> 00:06:34,505
[coughing]
197
00:06:34,573 --> 00:06:36,874
- This, this is all your fault.
198
00:06:36,809 --> 00:06:38,342
- My fault?
199
00:06:38,444 --> 00:06:42,513
Agnet: Yes, you, and
your immense poundage.
200
00:06:42,581 --> 00:06:44,548
[Agnet screaming]
201
00:06:44,584 --> 00:06:48,653
[Agnet and Dwight screaming]
202
00:06:48,588 --> 00:06:50,554
Gretta: Get off me!
203
00:06:50,623 --> 00:06:51,488
Agnet: You have made
a vile mess
204
00:06:51,557 --> 00:06:52,623
of my perfectly lovely plan.
205
00:06:52,558 --> 00:06:55,660
Dwight: What exactly was
your perfectly lovely plan?
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00:06:55,595 --> 00:06:56,693
Agnet: Oh, well the handsome
prince climbs up
207
00:06:56,663 --> 00:06:57,895
the beautiful maiden's hair.
208
00:06:57,830 --> 00:06:59,296
Dwight: Woo!
209
00:06:59,365 --> 00:07:00,831
Agnet: The way it happens
in all my books.
210
00:07:00,767 --> 00:07:02,699
Chlodwig:
Of all the potty ideas.
211
00:07:02,769 --> 00:07:04,101
Agnet: But this ton
of princess has gone
212
00:07:04,169 --> 00:07:05,036
and ruined everything
213
00:07:04,971 --> 00:07:06,871
and now we shall all die
of snakebite.
214
00:07:06,806 --> 00:07:07,805
Gretta: I think not!
215
00:07:07,740 --> 00:07:08,139
Agnet: Oh,
216
00:07:08,207 --> 00:07:08,672
ah,
217
00:07:08,741 --> 00:07:10,508
oh.
218
00:07:10,576 --> 00:07:14,345
Ah!
219
00:07:14,413 --> 00:07:16,013
[squeals]
220
00:07:15,949 --> 00:07:20,985
My hair!
221
00:07:21,053 --> 00:07:26,691
Gretta: [grunt]
222
00:07:26,626 --> 00:07:28,559
Dwight: Nice.
223
00:07:28,627 --> 00:07:36,767
[grunting]
224
00:07:36,835 --> 00:07:37,801
- Okay, I'm out.
225
00:07:37,837 --> 00:07:42,873
Ah!
226
00:07:42,942 --> 00:07:53,818
[grunting]
227
00:07:53,753 --> 00:07:57,488
[coughing]
228
00:07:57,556 --> 00:07:59,724
Agnet: Chlodwig, my sweet,
229
00:07:59,659 --> 00:08:01,726
now that we are free
from the snake pit,
230
00:08:01,661 --> 00:08:04,161
we may move on
to the wedding plans.
231
00:08:04,230 --> 00:08:06,163
- Agnet,
232
00:08:06,232 --> 00:08:10,334
I would sooner marry
the snake named Jack!
233
00:08:10,270 --> 00:08:11,936
Dwight: Dude, come on!
234
00:08:12,004 --> 00:08:16,039
That was kinda harsh.
235
00:08:16,109 --> 00:08:17,841
Agnet: You!
236
00:08:17,910 --> 00:08:20,477
You spoiled my snake pit, you,
237
00:08:20,546 --> 00:08:22,079
you mangled my hair,
238
00:08:22,147 --> 00:08:26,117
do you have any idea how long
it took me to grow this braid?
239
00:08:26,185 --> 00:08:26,950
Gretta: Lay a hand on me,
you lunatic,
240
00:08:26,986 --> 00:08:28,252
and I'll chop it off.
241
00:08:28,320 --> 00:08:29,186
Dwight: No, no, she won't.
242
00:08:29,122 --> 00:08:29,720
- [growls]
243
00:08:29,656 --> 00:08:30,854
Dwight: No, you won't.
244
00:08:30,923 --> 00:08:34,625
Agnet: Why does Chlodwig love
you so, you horrid princess.
245
00:08:34,561 --> 00:08:37,128
Gretta: He doesn't love me.
246
00:08:37,063 --> 00:08:37,862
- He doesn't?
247
00:08:37,930 --> 00:08:40,765
- No, no, he doesn't.
248
00:08:40,833 --> 00:08:43,333
Listen, Agnet.
249
00:08:43,369 --> 00:08:45,703
Chlodwig is
a complicated guy,
250
00:08:45,638 --> 00:08:46,770
with a lot of deep feelings
251
00:08:46,839 --> 00:08:49,206
that are sometimes hard
to express.
252
00:08:49,275 --> 00:08:51,542
- [sighs]
253
00:08:51,477 --> 00:08:53,311
Oh, do keep talking
about Chlodwig.
254
00:08:53,379 --> 00:08:55,646
He is my favorite subject.
255
00:08:55,582 --> 00:08:58,615
Dwight: Well, here's the thing
about Chlodwig.
256
00:08:58,685 --> 00:09:00,484
He just sees you as a friend.
257
00:09:00,420 --> 00:09:01,418
- A friend?
258
00:09:01,487 --> 00:09:03,787
Dwight: Yeah.
259
00:09:03,823 --> 00:09:04,588
Hey, there will come a time
when you realize
260
00:09:04,657 --> 00:09:06,857
that this was for the best.
261
00:09:06,793 --> 00:09:08,693
- So, my prince--
262
00:09:08,628 --> 00:09:10,394
Dwight:
Is still out there, Agnet.
263
00:09:10,429 --> 00:09:11,629
He's waiting for you
to find him
264
00:09:11,564 --> 00:09:13,864
and he's hoping you
won't give up on him.
265
00:09:13,932 --> 00:09:17,868
[bird call]
266
00:09:17,937 --> 00:09:19,270
- I understand.
267
00:09:19,338 --> 00:09:19,937
Dwight: Good.
268
00:09:19,872 --> 00:09:20,905
Yeah, great.
269
00:09:20,973 --> 00:09:21,838
Great.
270
00:09:21,908 --> 00:09:23,307
Chin up, off you go!
271
00:09:23,376 --> 00:09:24,108
Best of luck.
272
00:09:24,176 --> 00:09:25,142
Best foot forward,
273
00:09:25,211 --> 00:09:26,544
go get 'em tiger.
274
00:09:26,479 --> 00:09:27,544
Gretta: Goodbye.
275
00:09:27,613 --> 00:09:27,944
Dwight: Oh!
276
00:09:28,014 --> 00:09:30,114
Bye.
277
00:09:30,049 --> 00:09:30,948
- [giggles]
278
00:09:35,922 --> 00:09:37,821
Gretta: Oh.
279
00:09:37,890 --> 00:09:40,157
Dwight: Hey man.
280
00:09:40,192 --> 00:09:41,726
Chlodwig: You are just
in time.
281
00:09:41,661 --> 00:09:42,994
I believe I follow the man
282
00:09:43,062 --> 00:09:45,696
with the embarrassingly
puny mandolin.
283
00:09:45,764 --> 00:09:48,899
[ukulele plays]
284
00:09:48,835 --> 00:09:50,201
M. C.: Let's give Liam
here a big hand.
285
00:09:50,136 --> 00:09:55,673
[applause]
286
00:09:55,741 --> 00:09:59,843
- All right, next up,
please welcome Chodwedge.
287
00:09:59,912 --> 00:10:03,013
Chlodwig: Ah, 'tis my moment.
288
00:10:03,082 --> 00:10:07,518
Gretta: Hm.
289
00:10:07,586 --> 00:10:10,187
- I dedicate this song
to Princess Gretta,
290
00:10:10,256 --> 00:10:11,788
my former betrothed,
291
00:10:11,858 --> 00:10:13,457
and to Sir Dwight,
292
00:10:13,393 --> 00:10:17,027
my brother in the order
of Guy Club.
293
00:10:17,096 --> 00:10:19,864
Dwight: Woo!
294
00:10:19,932 --> 00:10:25,736
[mandolin plays]
295
00:10:25,772 --> 00:10:29,840
- ♪ Mommy promised you to me, ♪
296
00:10:29,776 --> 00:10:33,544
♪ but I had to set you free, ♪
297
00:10:33,612 --> 00:10:35,779
♪ so I did, ♪
298
00:10:35,848 --> 00:10:39,416
♪ and wrote this poem
to sing to other girls ♪
299
00:10:39,485 --> 00:10:44,288
♪ once I know 'em. ♪
300
00:10:44,357 --> 00:10:46,223
♪ Gretta, Gretta,
you were my love, ♪
301
00:10:46,159 --> 00:10:48,259
♪ my cousin, my quest. ♪
302
00:10:48,327 --> 00:10:50,061
♪ Gretta, Gretta,
Gretta, ♪
303
00:10:49,996 --> 00:10:52,629
♪ it's over now and
for the best. ♪
304
00:10:52,699 --> 00:10:55,799
♪ Gretta, Gretta,
Gretta, Gretta, ♪
305
00:10:55,868 --> 00:11:02,206
♪ you were my looooooooove. ♪
306
00:11:02,274 --> 00:11:03,641
[exhales]
307
00:11:03,576 --> 00:11:07,211
Thank you.
308
00:11:07,146 --> 00:11:07,944
[applause]
309
00:11:08,014 --> 00:11:09,413
Dwight: Yeah.
310
00:11:09,482 --> 00:11:10,815
Yeah, come on.
311
00:11:10,750 --> 00:11:14,118
M.C.: Okay, awesome.
312
00:11:14,053 --> 00:11:27,064
Uh, uh, next up
let's welcome Agnet.
313
00:11:27,166 --> 00:11:32,569
[blasting on bagpipe]
314
00:11:32,638 --> 00:11:35,373
- ♪ I was a beautiful
maiden in a tower ♪
315
00:11:35,308 --> 00:11:39,076
♪ that was guarded
by a troll. ♪
316
00:11:39,144 --> 00:11:41,379
[bagpipe blast]
317
00:11:41,447 --> 00:11:45,416
♪ The troll did not let me leave
the tower, never. ♪
318
00:11:45,484 --> 00:11:51,489
♪ Not once in my entire life,
just me by myself in a tower. ♪
319
00:11:51,424 --> 00:11:53,824
♪ It was exceedingly boring. ♪
320
00:11:53,860 --> 00:11:57,962
[bagpipe blast]
321
00:11:58,030 --> 00:11:59,496
♪ Until one day
my prince came ♪
322
00:11:59,565 --> 00:12:05,169
♪ and left the troll unconscious
and set me free. ♪
323
00:12:05,237 --> 00:12:06,904
[bagpipe blast]
324
00:12:06,973 --> 00:12:11,308
♪ Chlodwig, I will never give up
on our love, never, ♪
325
00:12:11,377 --> 00:12:14,945
♪ never, never, never, never. ♪
326
00:12:15,014 --> 00:12:18,783
[bagpipe blast]
327
00:12:18,851 --> 00:12:19,983
Thank you.
328
00:12:20,053 --> 00:12:20,451
[tepid applause]
329
00:12:20,386 --> 00:12:25,689
[slap]
330
00:12:25,758 --> 00:12:26,824
M. C.: Uh, uh--
331
00:12:26,892 --> 00:12:28,592
[bagpipe moaning]
332
00:12:28,628 --> 00:12:30,927
That's uh, that's gonna be
a tough act to follow.
333
00:12:30,997 --> 00:12:31,195
Agnet: Did you--
334
00:12:31,264 --> 00:12:32,730
[all gasp]
335
00:12:32,665 --> 00:12:35,966
love the love song
I wrote for you, my prince?
336
00:12:36,035 --> 00:12:38,535
Would you like
to get married now?
337
00:12:38,604 --> 00:12:41,471
- Not now,
not ever Agnet.
338
00:12:41,541 --> 00:12:43,173
Agnet: Oh, fluffy stuff.
339
00:12:43,076 --> 00:12:45,776
If there is one thing a maiden
in a tower must learn
340
00:12:45,844 --> 00:12:47,311
it is patience.
341
00:12:47,380 --> 00:12:48,912
You have to kiss
a lot of frogs
342
00:12:48,981 --> 00:12:50,481
before the frog you want
wants to marry
343
00:12:50,549 --> 00:12:51,682
[slap] you.
344
00:12:51,751 --> 00:12:53,217
- You kiss frogs?
345
00:12:53,152 --> 00:12:57,855
Agnet: A maiden must do
what a maiden must do.
346
00:12:57,924 --> 00:12:58,455
[gasp]
347
00:12:58,524 --> 00:13:01,192
[magical sounds]
348
00:13:01,260 --> 00:13:02,560
Gretta: Chlodwig!
349
00:13:02,495 --> 00:13:03,694
Dwight: He's a frog!
350
00:13:03,763 --> 00:13:06,197
[ribbit]
351
00:13:06,265 --> 00:13:07,865
- One kiss from me
352
00:13:07,800 --> 00:13:10,901
and he will be back
to his handsome self,
353
00:13:10,837 --> 00:13:12,370
and much more ready
to get married.
354
00:13:12,305 --> 00:13:14,571
[ribbit]
355
00:13:14,640 --> 00:13:16,307
[ribbit]
356
00:13:16,375 --> 00:13:19,076
Agnet: [gasp] No,
no, no, no, no.
357
00:13:19,144 --> 00:13:20,144
- Chlodwig!
358
00:13:20,212 --> 00:13:20,945
Agnet: No! No!
359
00:13:20,880 --> 00:13:21,879
He's my prince!
360
00:13:21,814 --> 00:13:26,884
No! No!
361
00:13:26,819 --> 00:13:28,286
He's mine.
362
00:13:28,354 --> 00:13:30,354
[ribbit]
363
00:13:30,423 --> 00:13:32,023
Chlodwig!
364
00:13:31,958 --> 00:13:33,290
My love!
365
00:13:33,359 --> 00:13:35,926
Gretta: Chlodwig!
366
00:13:35,995 --> 00:13:37,728
[thump]
367
00:13:37,664 --> 00:13:38,262
[ribbit]
368
00:13:38,197 --> 00:13:39,497
Dwight: I am so sorry.
369
00:13:39,565 --> 00:13:40,831
Are you okay?
370
00:13:40,900 --> 00:13:42,800
[girls fighting]
371
00:13:42,868 --> 00:13:47,338
Mr. Dale?
372
00:13:47,406 --> 00:13:48,606
[crow caws]
373
00:13:48,674 --> 00:13:50,207
Mr. Dale: Do you see that crow?
374
00:13:50,276 --> 00:13:51,242
Gretta: Chlodwig!
375
00:13:51,310 --> 00:13:53,110
Dwight: Yeah.
376
00:13:53,179 --> 00:13:55,679
Mr. Dale: So,
you would say it's real.
377
00:13:55,748 --> 00:13:57,882
It's a real crow!
378
00:13:57,950 --> 00:13:59,784
Dwight: Mr. Dale, are you okay?
379
00:13:59,719 --> 00:14:03,721
- It's following me,
everywhere I go.
380
00:14:03,656 --> 00:14:05,055
I have to get home.
381
00:14:05,124 --> 00:14:06,924
It's almost dark.
382
00:14:06,859 --> 00:14:09,760
And I have no idea what
happens when it's dark.
383
00:14:09,829 --> 00:14:11,028
[cawing]
384
00:14:10,964 --> 00:14:13,798
Dwight: Uh- huh.
385
00:14:13,733 --> 00:14:15,098
Mr. Dale: We have tampered
with dark forces
386
00:14:15,134 --> 00:14:20,771
that will be our undoing.
387
00:14:20,707 --> 00:14:21,505
[ribbit]
388
00:14:21,574 --> 00:14:22,839
Agnet: Oh! Dang it!
389
00:14:22,909 --> 00:14:24,809
Give me my Frogwig back.
390
00:14:24,877 --> 00:14:26,610
Gretta: You do not seriously
intend to kiss this?
391
00:14:26,546 --> 00:14:28,779
[ribbit]
392
00:14:28,848 --> 00:14:30,514
- Ew.
393
00:14:30,583 --> 00:14:32,283
Chlodwig:
Off with your foul lips!
394
00:14:32,218 --> 00:14:32,950
- But I--
395
00:14:33,018 --> 00:14:34,418
Dwight: Look,
396
00:14:34,354 --> 00:14:35,052
I think what Chlodwig is
trying to say is--
397
00:14:35,021 --> 00:14:36,453
Chlodwig: I find you hideous.
398
00:14:36,522 --> 00:14:37,054
Dwight: It's not you.
399
00:14:36,990 --> 00:14:38,255
Chlodwig: It is you.
400
00:14:38,191 --> 00:14:39,690
Dwight: He's just not looking
for a relationship right now.
401
00:14:39,726 --> 00:14:41,858
Chlodwig: Because
you are grotesque.
402
00:14:41,928 --> 00:14:43,260
Dwight: If he's being
completely honest,
403
00:14:43,329 --> 00:14:44,428
he's not into girls
that put his life in danger.
404
00:14:44,496 --> 00:14:45,563
Chlodwig: Especially
405
00:14:45,631 --> 00:14:46,564
when they are
heinously disgusting.
406
00:14:46,499 --> 00:14:46,964
Dwight: Stop.
407
00:14:47,032 --> 00:14:47,898
Close your mouth.
408
00:14:47,834 --> 00:14:53,971
Chlodwig: Honestly,
I tried to be nice.
409
00:14:54,073 --> 00:14:56,773
Dwight: I hope
that makes sense, Agnet.
410
00:14:56,843 --> 00:15:01,678
Agnet: Of course.
411
00:15:01,748 --> 00:15:03,948
My prince wants
to be the hunter,
412
00:15:04,016 --> 00:15:05,583
not the prey.
413
00:15:05,518 --> 00:15:09,286
[door opens]
414
00:15:09,222 --> 00:15:13,090
Dwight: [clears throat]
415
00:15:13,158 --> 00:15:14,224
- What's amiss?
416
00:15:14,293 --> 00:15:17,862
- Note.
417
00:15:17,797 --> 00:15:18,929
My darling Chlodwig,
418
00:15:18,865 --> 00:15:23,300
I have gone to orc territory
to meet certain death.
419
00:15:23,369 --> 00:15:25,669
Chlodwig: Orc territory.
420
00:15:25,738 --> 00:15:26,470
Dwight:
That's a bad place, right?
421
00:15:26,538 --> 00:15:28,271
- Mm-hm.
422
00:15:28,341 --> 00:15:30,274
Dwight: Know that
my final thoughts are of you,
423
00:15:30,209 --> 00:15:32,209
Agnet.
424
00:15:32,278 --> 00:15:35,780
Ouch.
425
00:15:35,848 --> 00:15:37,881
Chlodwig: Orc territory is vast.
426
00:15:37,950 --> 00:15:38,950
Who knows
where she could have gone.
427
00:15:39,018 --> 00:15:42,519
Dwight: Oh, it looks like
she drew you a little map.
428
00:15:48,127 --> 00:15:49,327
Dwight: How will we know
we're in orc territory?
429
00:15:49,262 --> 00:15:51,829
Maybe a sign or something?
430
00:15:51,764 --> 00:15:53,030
[a man singing]
431
00:15:52,966 --> 00:15:54,598
Gretta: Sh.
432
00:15:54,667 --> 00:16:07,945
[man continues
to sing in Italian]
433
00:16:08,013 --> 00:16:09,680
[thwa-a-ang]
434
00:16:09,616 --> 00:16:10,447
- Who goes there?
435
00:16:10,516 --> 00:16:12,850
[birds calling]
436
00:16:12,785 --> 00:16:16,354
Principessa,
and the champion boy.
437
00:16:16,422 --> 00:16:17,421
Could it be fate?
438
00:16:17,490 --> 00:16:17,988
Gretta: Uh!
439
00:16:18,024 --> 00:16:19,623
Dwight: Hey, hey,
440
00:16:19,692 --> 00:16:21,225
hey.
441
00:16:21,294 --> 00:16:23,193
Jacopo, how you been man?
442
00:16:23,262 --> 00:16:24,528
Chlodwig: You know this villain?
443
00:16:24,597 --> 00:16:26,197
- Who do you call villain?
444
00:16:26,132 --> 00:16:27,498
Gretta: You did try
to steal my throne.
445
00:16:27,566 --> 00:16:28,699
Dwight: That was
a long time ago.
446
00:16:28,635 --> 00:16:32,736
- I admit I tried and I failed.
447
00:16:32,805 --> 00:16:34,371
I am bound by the rules
of chivalry.
448
00:16:34,407 --> 00:16:36,807
Chlodwig: And by the rules
of chivalry,
449
00:16:36,876 --> 00:16:39,843
release me from this tree,
I am a prince.
450
00:16:39,912 --> 00:16:43,014
- Oh, why such a rush, eh?
451
00:16:43,082 --> 00:16:44,949
You are too tense.
452
00:16:44,884 --> 00:16:47,318
Your face is squished
like an angry little pig.
453
00:16:47,386 --> 00:16:49,654
- How dare you, peasant!
454
00:16:49,722 --> 00:16:51,355
- Fortune smiles
on the patient soul,
455
00:16:51,424 --> 00:16:53,691
does she not?
456
00:16:53,626 --> 00:16:58,362
Now, here we are,
together once more,
457
00:16:58,431 --> 00:17:02,065
but this time, I am ready!
458
00:17:02,135 --> 00:17:07,938
Ha!
459
00:17:07,874 --> 00:17:09,273
Dwight: Dude.
460
00:17:09,208 --> 00:17:10,474
You've been practicing.
461
00:17:10,410 --> 00:17:14,478
- ì.
462
00:17:14,547 --> 00:17:16,447
Grazie.
463
00:17:16,515 --> 00:17:19,450
Chlodwig: Enough tomfoolery,
out of the way, juggling jester.
464
00:17:19,385 --> 00:17:26,791
Jacopo: I do not jest,
piggy little prince.
465
00:17:26,859 --> 00:17:27,624
Chlodwig: Ha!
466
00:17:27,660 --> 00:17:27,992
[metal clanking]
467
00:17:27,927 --> 00:17:35,365
[grunting]
468
00:17:35,435 --> 00:17:39,003
Jacopo: I demand a rematch.
469
00:17:39,071 --> 00:17:39,937
Dwight: Can he do that?
470
00:17:39,872 --> 00:17:41,639
Gretta: By the rules
of chivalry,
471
00:17:41,574 --> 00:17:43,374
Jacopo can demand
a single rematch.
472
00:17:43,309 --> 00:17:44,708
Agnet: Help me!
473
00:17:44,777 --> 00:17:45,876
Jacopo: What was that?
474
00:17:45,778 --> 00:17:49,213
Chlodwig: With any luck,
a maiden being roasted by orcs.
475
00:17:49,282 --> 00:17:50,081
Dwight: Dude!
476
00:17:50,016 --> 00:17:51,214
- What maiden?
477
00:17:51,284 --> 00:17:53,050
Agnet: Hello! Anybody?!
478
00:17:53,119 --> 00:17:54,785
- The little blister,
479
00:17:54,854 --> 00:17:56,320
I have half a mind
to let the orcs do their worst.
480
00:17:56,256 --> 00:17:58,956
Jacopo: What kind
of prince are you?
481
00:17:58,892 --> 00:18:00,390
A damsel cries out
in distress.
482
00:18:00,426 --> 00:18:01,559
- Pfft.
483
00:18:01,494 --> 00:18:02,292
- [sound of shock]
484
00:18:02,362 --> 00:18:03,160
Dwight: So...
485
00:18:03,096 --> 00:18:04,495
Agnet: Anybody?
486
00:18:04,430 --> 00:18:06,196
Dwight: Jacopo,
are there any rules of chivalry
487
00:18:06,265 --> 00:18:08,065
about a damsel in distress?
488
00:18:08,133 --> 00:18:09,633
- Hundreds.
489
00:18:09,569 --> 00:18:10,968
- There's no higher
expression of chivalry
490
00:18:10,904 --> 00:18:13,671
than to give aid
to a damsel in distress.
491
00:18:13,739 --> 00:18:14,405
- ì.
492
00:18:14,340 --> 00:18:15,138
Agnet: Anyone!
493
00:18:15,208 --> 00:18:16,273
Help me!
494
00:18:16,209 --> 00:18:19,076
Gretta: But Prince Chlodwig
could easily save her.
495
00:18:19,145 --> 00:18:20,077
Chlodwig: Ugh.
496
00:18:20,013 --> 00:18:20,878
Dwight: Yeah, we're right
in the middle
497
00:18:20,813 --> 00:18:22,779
of this bottle flip
rematch thing,
498
00:18:22,849 --> 00:18:23,714
it's kind of important.
499
00:18:23,783 --> 00:18:24,382
Gretta: Very important.
500
00:18:24,450 --> 00:18:24,849
Dwight: Yeah.
501
00:18:24,784 --> 00:18:26,750
Agnet: Help!
502
00:18:26,819 --> 00:18:28,085
Help!
503
00:18:28,154 --> 00:18:29,086
Help me!
504
00:18:29,022 --> 00:18:30,988
- [grunt] The bottles can wait!
505
00:18:31,057 --> 00:18:33,156
I will save the damsel,
506
00:18:33,192 --> 00:18:35,126
you may go home,
pig-faced prince.
507
00:18:35,061 --> 00:18:36,594
[Agnet screams]
508
00:18:36,529 --> 00:18:38,095
Chlodwig: Pig- faced prince,
halt at once,
509
00:18:38,164 --> 00:18:40,564
that is my damsel
and my rescue!
510
00:18:40,500 --> 00:18:41,365
Jacopo: No, she is mine!
511
00:18:41,301 --> 00:18:43,868
I call the dibs!
512
00:18:43,803 --> 00:18:46,370
Agnet: Somebody help me!
513
00:18:46,438 --> 00:18:49,539
[grunts]
514
00:18:49,575 --> 00:18:50,374
Chlodwig: [growls] Agnet!
515
00:18:50,443 --> 00:18:52,042
- Chlodwig!
516
00:18:52,111 --> 00:18:55,946
Jacopo: Have no fear, maiden,
I have come to rescue you.
517
00:18:56,015 --> 00:18:56,814
Agnet: Hurry!
518
00:18:56,749 --> 00:18:57,748
The orcs are on their way.
519
00:18:57,684 --> 00:18:59,650
Chlodwig: And the earth
is a big blue ball
520
00:18:59,719 --> 00:19:01,452
circling a big yellow ball.
521
00:19:01,520 --> 00:19:02,820
Dwight: Uh, Chlodwig--
522
00:19:02,888 --> 00:19:05,289
Jacopo: I will have you free
in but a moment.
523
00:19:05,225 --> 00:19:06,357
Chlodwig: I was here first,
you scully.
524
00:19:06,425 --> 00:19:08,693
- You are a brute,
525
00:19:08,628 --> 00:19:11,796
not worthy to rescue a maiden
so beautiful as she.
526
00:19:11,864 --> 00:19:14,131
- [chuckles] Thank you.
527
00:19:14,067 --> 00:19:16,433
- I will rescue
whatever maiden I choose,
528
00:19:16,502 --> 00:19:19,069
beautiful or otherwise.
529
00:19:19,138 --> 00:19:21,204
- Oh, I would like
to see you try.
530
00:19:21,274 --> 00:19:22,340
- How in the world
did you hoist yourself up
531
00:19:22,275 --> 00:19:23,840
in this net?
532
00:19:23,910 --> 00:19:25,376
- I didn't.
533
00:19:25,311 --> 00:19:26,410
- What do you mean?
534
00:19:26,446 --> 00:19:29,113
Agnet: Well, I intended to tie
myself to yon tree
535
00:19:29,181 --> 00:19:31,682
and wait for my prince
to come rescue me.
536
00:19:31,618 --> 00:19:32,750
Jacopo: [background] your
squealing voice.
537
00:19:32,818 --> 00:19:34,218
Chlodwig: [background] Oh
yes, he--
538
00:19:34,286 --> 00:19:35,585
- Of course you did.
539
00:19:35,655 --> 00:19:37,254
Agnet: But then I stepped
in this trap.
540
00:19:37,190 --> 00:19:38,723
Gretta: Orcs.
541
00:19:38,658 --> 00:19:41,492
- Let a real man save
the fair damsel.
542
00:19:41,560 --> 00:19:44,895
Chlodwig: No one saves
the fair damsel but I.
543
00:19:44,831 --> 00:19:48,199
[grunts]
544
00:19:48,134 --> 00:19:51,002
- But how can you
when your nose is bleeding?
545
00:19:50,937 --> 00:19:51,902
- My nose is not
bleeding, I don't--
546
00:19:51,971 --> 00:19:52,769
Ah!
547
00:19:52,839 --> 00:19:57,141
[thump]
548
00:19:57,209 --> 00:19:58,075
[metal ringing]
549
00:19:58,144 --> 00:19:59,176
Chlodwig: You blaggard!
550
00:19:59,212 --> 00:20:02,680
Jacopo: Beautiful maiden,
behold your rescuer!
551
00:20:02,748 --> 00:20:05,649
[fighting noises]
552
00:20:05,585 --> 00:20:09,453
Agnet: Oh kind sirs,
I pray you do not fight over me.
553
00:20:09,489 --> 00:20:10,020
[metal ringing]
554
00:20:10,089 --> 00:20:11,489
Stop it.
555
00:20:11,424 --> 00:20:13,124
Stop it, I say.
556
00:20:13,192 --> 00:20:13,857
[fighting noises continue]
557
00:20:13,926 --> 00:20:17,261
Stop it.
558
00:20:17,329 --> 00:20:19,663
Stop it.
559
00:20:19,599 --> 00:20:20,431
Stop,
560
00:20:20,366 --> 00:20:21,098
stop,
561
00:20:21,034 --> 00:20:22,500
stop it, I say.
562
00:20:22,568 --> 00:20:25,403
[laughing]
563
00:20:25,471 --> 00:20:26,937
[thump]
564
00:20:27,006 --> 00:20:30,240
Jacopo: Here is a squeal.
565
00:20:30,309 --> 00:20:36,047
- Oo.
566
00:20:35,982 --> 00:20:39,283
Jacopo: Signorina bella,
you are safe now.
567
00:20:39,352 --> 00:20:41,385
Dwight: I don't know
about safe.
568
00:20:41,454 --> 00:20:42,253
Gretta: The orcs that set
this trap will be here
569
00:20:42,321 --> 00:20:44,055
at any moment.
570
00:20:44,123 --> 00:20:47,558
Jacopo: Then, fly away with me,
571
00:20:47,626 --> 00:20:48,159
[kiss]
572
00:20:48,227 --> 00:20:50,695
dolcezza.
573
00:20:50,630 --> 00:20:57,702
- Anywhere, my prince.
574
00:20:57,637 --> 00:20:59,570
- Come marry me.
575
00:20:59,505 --> 00:21:02,073
Agnet: Oh, you are so noble,
576
00:21:02,008 --> 00:21:03,407
so chivalrous,
577
00:21:03,475 --> 00:21:04,541
and that accent.
578
00:21:04,610 --> 00:21:05,876
- Oh, what about my accent?
579
00:21:05,944 --> 00:21:07,478
Cara mia.
580
00:21:07,413 --> 00:21:08,813
- [squeal and giggle]
581
00:21:08,748 --> 00:21:12,183
Hurry my prince,
we are on a schedule today.
582
00:21:12,251 --> 00:21:13,951
Jacopo: Goodbye
baby-faced monkey,
583
00:21:14,019 --> 00:21:16,687
say hello to the fat man
and my favorite wrinkly lady.
584
00:21:16,756 --> 00:21:19,523
Dwight: Will do!
585
00:21:19,591 --> 00:21:20,324
Gretta: They are perfect
for each other.
586
00:21:20,392 --> 00:21:21,091
Dwight: Right?
587
00:21:21,127 --> 00:21:26,764
Chlodwig: I give it six months.
588
00:21:26,699 --> 00:21:28,098
[laughing]
589
00:21:28,167 --> 00:21:29,300
Chlodwig: My next song
will be a ballad
590
00:21:29,235 --> 00:21:32,270
about my many deeds of valor.
591
00:21:32,338 --> 00:21:35,306
I've just written
the first verse.
592
00:21:35,374 --> 00:21:37,241
Dwight: Oh, no, no!
593
00:21:37,176 --> 00:21:43,347
Um, don't spoil it for us.
594
00:21:43,416 --> 00:21:44,681
Baldric: [sigh of exhaustion]
595
00:21:44,751 --> 00:21:46,249
Gretta: Oh! Baldric!
596
00:21:46,319 --> 00:21:47,117
Dwight: Hey.
597
00:21:47,186 --> 00:21:48,786
[Baldric grunts]
598
00:21:48,854 --> 00:21:51,288
Dwight: How did your
magician's guild assembly go?
599
00:21:51,357 --> 00:21:53,891
Baldric: I know now
why they only hold it
600
00:21:53,826 --> 00:21:56,861
once every five hundred years.
601
00:21:56,929 --> 00:21:57,961
Oh.
602
00:21:57,997 --> 00:22:03,634
Oh, ah.
603
00:22:03,702 --> 00:22:08,739
Mm.
604
00:22:08,808 --> 00:22:11,642
[crow cawing]
605
00:22:11,711 --> 00:22:26,623
[spooky music]
606
00:22:26,659 --> 00:22:30,227
[spooky music]
607
00:22:30,296 --> 00:22:31,629
[metal ringing]
608
00:22:31,697 --> 00:22:35,533
- Show yourself, pretender.
609
00:22:35,601 --> 00:22:46,811
[footsteps]
610
00:22:46,879 --> 00:22:49,546
Aldred: I am bound
to obey a tovenaar summons,
611
00:22:49,615 --> 00:22:53,183
but you are no tovenaar.
612
00:22:53,285 --> 00:23:06,931
I am the only remaining.
613
00:23:06,866 --> 00:23:08,432
- No more.
614
00:23:08,501 --> 00:23:41,098
♪
615
00:23:41,148 --> 00:23:45,698
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