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Dwight: Previously
on Dwight in Shining Armor.
2
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- I need something.
3
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It belongs to a friend of mine
4
00:00:04,204 --> 00:00:05,437
and I think
it might have ended up here
5
00:00:05,472 --> 00:00:06,337
in this secret chamber.
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00:00:06,406 --> 00:00:07,171
- What is it?
7
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- It's hard to describe,
8
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but it's in a stone box
with this emblem on it.
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[leaves scraping]
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- There you go.
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[grating stone]
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- Empty!
13
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- Unhand my scepter, you thief.
14
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[magical swirling wind]
15
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Don't!
16
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[blorp]
17
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- How long do we have?
18
00:00:30,564 --> 00:00:31,896
Baldric: Difficult to say,
Your Highness.
19
00:00:31,965 --> 00:00:33,965
Chlodwig: Weeks? Days?
20
00:00:33,901 --> 00:00:35,066
Hexela: More likely hours.
21
00:00:35,134 --> 00:00:36,367
Dwight: Before what?
22
00:00:36,436 --> 00:00:41,305
Gretta: Before Sir Aldred
is back.
23
00:00:41,175 --> 00:00:44,376
[blub, blub]
24
00:00:44,311 --> 00:00:53,285
[suspenseful music]
25
00:00:53,353 --> 00:00:59,090
[knob clatters to the floor]
26
00:00:59,159 --> 00:01:03,728
[drawers opening
and shutting]
27
00:01:03,797 --> 00:01:09,200
[Bop-It noises]
28
00:01:09,269 --> 00:01:14,105
- Sh! Sh!
29
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[loud crash]
30
00:01:16,810 --> 00:01:17,909
Wenzo: Silence!
31
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[banging]
32
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[Bop-It continues briefly
then stops]
33
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[rummaging]
34
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Baldric: HALT!
35
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Thief!
36
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[yell]
37
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[fighting]
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[thud]
39
00:01:48,508 --> 00:01:50,141
Baldric: Ha, ha, ha.
40
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[gasping]
41
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Baldric: You!
42
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[thwap]
43
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Baldric: [yells]
44
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[electric crash]
45
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Gretta: [convulsive noises]
46
00:02:01,622 --> 00:02:06,691
[grunts]
47
00:02:06,760 --> 00:02:08,093
Did you see that?
48
00:02:08,028 --> 00:02:10,261
- Most strange.
49
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Quickly.
50
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We leave at first light.
51
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Gretta: Whither?
52
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- The woods.
53
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[theme music]
54
00:02:20,773 --> 00:02:21,573
Dwight: Okay, so about
a thousand years ago,
55
00:02:21,641 --> 00:02:23,475
there was this princess, Gretta.
56
00:02:23,543 --> 00:02:24,709
And she was in big trouble
57
00:02:24,778 --> 00:02:29,080
because she had lots of enemies
and not a lot of friends.
58
00:02:29,149 --> 00:02:33,652
So her court magician,
Baldric cast the champion spell.
59
00:02:33,587 --> 00:02:35,086
It put everyone in the woods
to sleep
60
00:02:35,022 --> 00:02:37,021
until a champion would come
break the spell with his kiss
61
00:02:37,090 --> 00:02:38,890
and deal with
Gretta's big, scary enemies.
62
00:02:38,959 --> 00:02:40,825
That guy never showed up.
63
00:02:40,761 --> 00:02:41,660
Ah!
64
00:02:41,595 --> 00:02:42,693
Instead...
65
00:02:42,763 --> 00:02:43,361
[kissing noise]
66
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they got me.
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โช
68
00:02:45,432 --> 00:02:46,464
Ah!
69
00:02:46,533 --> 00:02:50,669
โช
70
00:02:50,604 --> 00:02:51,435
Ow!
71
00:02:51,505 --> 00:02:54,372
โช
72
00:02:54,441 --> 00:03:08,186
โช
73
00:03:08,255 --> 00:03:09,654
Dwight: Guys we should
just call the police
74
00:03:09,723 --> 00:03:12,190
or maybe contact
the neighborhood watch,
75
00:03:12,259 --> 00:03:13,458
whoever broke
into your house.
76
00:03:13,393 --> 00:03:14,859
Gretta: We know who broke
into our house.
77
00:03:14,928 --> 00:03:16,460
Dwight: You do?
78
00:03:16,530 --> 00:03:18,730
Baldric: His name
is Wenzo Thief.
79
00:03:18,798 --> 00:03:20,798
Gretta: He comes
from a long line of cut-purses,
80
00:03:20,867 --> 00:03:22,934
pickpockets, and burglars.
81
00:03:23,002 --> 00:03:23,768
Dwight: Well,
with a last name like Thief,
82
00:03:23,837 --> 00:03:25,470
what more can you really do?
83
00:03:25,405 --> 00:03:26,338
Baldric: The last time
I saw Wenzo Thief,
84
00:03:26,406 --> 00:03:27,138
he was leaping
from the window
85
00:03:27,207 --> 00:03:29,740
of the great hall.
86
00:03:29,810 --> 00:03:31,209
It was on a night
of a new moon.
87
00:03:31,277 --> 00:03:33,177
Dark as pitch,
88
00:03:33,247 --> 00:03:38,483
just days before our castle
came under siege.
89
00:03:38,552 --> 00:03:41,085
Wenzo Thief broke
into the castle,
90
00:03:41,154 --> 00:03:44,589
but he was discovered
by the royal guards.
91
00:03:44,657 --> 00:03:46,791
We chased him into
the great hall where he jumped
92
00:03:46,860 --> 00:03:50,829
from the window and escaped
into the woods.
93
00:03:50,764 --> 00:03:52,797
I personally conducted
an inventory
94
00:03:52,733 --> 00:03:55,333
of the castle's valuables
but nothing was missing.
95
00:03:55,269 --> 00:03:56,902
Dwight: So, the guy breaks
into your castle,
96
00:03:56,970 --> 00:03:59,804
runs from the royal guards,
throws himself out of a window
97
00:03:59,873 --> 00:04:00,638
and he doesn't take anything?
98
00:04:00,707 --> 00:04:01,840
Gretta: So it appears.
99
00:04:01,908 --> 00:04:03,041
Dwight: Then what happened?
100
00:04:03,109 --> 00:04:04,008
Baldric: Our castle came
under siege.
101
00:04:04,077 --> 00:04:05,843
Gretta: All
of my royal guards fled.
102
00:04:05,913 --> 00:04:06,645
Baldric: Cowards.
103
00:04:06,713 --> 00:04:07,846
Gretta: Baldric cast
the champion spell.
104
00:04:07,781 --> 00:04:10,982
Baldric: And we all fell asleep
for a thousand years.
105
00:04:11,051 --> 00:04:12,183
Gretta: Then you fell on me
and you kissed me.
106
00:04:12,252 --> 00:04:13,952
- On accident.
107
00:04:14,020 --> 00:04:16,154
- All who were under
the champion spell awakened.
108
00:04:16,223 --> 00:04:17,422
Gretta: We moved
into the village.
109
00:04:17,491 --> 00:04:19,290
Dwight: Yeah, all right, I think
we're all up to speed now.
110
00:04:19,359 --> 00:04:20,491
Baldric: I don't find any
of that unsettling.
111
00:04:20,560 --> 00:04:23,128
Dwight: I find pretty much
all of that unsettling.
112
00:04:23,196 --> 00:04:24,195
Baldric: How did Wenzo Thief
come to be wearing
113
00:04:24,264 --> 00:04:26,197
a Quiet Friar's robe?
114
00:04:26,133 --> 00:04:27,064
Dwight: A what?
115
00:04:27,134 --> 00:04:28,633
Baldric: A Quiet Friar's robe.
116
00:04:28,701 --> 00:04:31,536
Dwight: I'm sorry those words
don't mean anything.
117
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Gretta: The robe
that Wenzo Thief was wearing
118
00:04:32,739 --> 00:04:35,640
that made him invincible
to all of our weapons.
119
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They are worn only
by the Quiet Friars.
120
00:04:37,844 --> 00:04:40,978
Dwight: And who are
the Quiet Friars?
121
00:04:41,048 --> 00:04:42,547
Baldric: Finally!
122
00:04:42,616 --> 00:04:48,553
Finally, ah, finally
we have arrived.
123
00:04:48,489 --> 00:04:50,388
Dwight: Oh. Nice.
124
00:04:50,456 --> 00:04:52,757
Here we are.
125
00:04:52,826 --> 00:04:59,998
- Insplinkt hatvandoon
inyorwegonda!
126
00:04:59,933 --> 00:05:01,967
[magical noise]
127
00:05:02,035 --> 00:05:05,103
[noise intensifies]
128
00:05:05,171 --> 00:05:06,504
Ha, ha, ha.
129
00:05:06,573 --> 00:05:12,210
Your Highness, Sir Dwight,
welcome to the Quiet Friary.
130
00:05:12,278 --> 00:05:21,018
Ha, ha.
131
00:05:21,088 --> 00:05:24,355
- 'Kay.
132
00:05:24,424 --> 00:05:32,831
[bagpipe-like music plays]
133
00:05:32,766 --> 00:05:34,098
Dwight: What is this place?
134
00:05:34,167 --> 00:05:36,501
Gretta: The home
of the Quiet Friars.
135
00:05:36,436 --> 00:05:38,170
Dwight: And who are
the Quiet Friars?
136
00:05:38,205 --> 00:05:46,477
Ah!
137
00:05:46,546 --> 00:05:48,046
- Friar Siggy!
138
00:05:48,114 --> 00:05:56,187
[Baldric laughing]
139
00:05:56,123 --> 00:06:01,693
Baldric translating:
Look at you, all grown up.
140
00:06:01,761 --> 00:06:04,328
Who is this?
141
00:06:04,398 --> 00:06:06,864
- Allow me to present
Sir Dwight,
142
00:06:06,934 --> 00:06:09,301
my champion.
143
00:06:09,369 --> 00:06:14,372
Baldric translating:
This gaping codfish?
144
00:06:14,441 --> 00:06:16,941
- The very same.
145
00:06:17,010 --> 00:06:22,080
Baldric translating:
This twitchy, little muskrat.
146
00:06:22,115 --> 00:06:22,948
- Does anyone mind
if we skip this part?
147
00:06:22,983 --> 00:06:24,216
- Well, he...
148
00:06:24,284 --> 00:06:26,851
- We need your help
Friar Siggy.
149
00:06:26,920 --> 00:06:28,686
Baldric translating:
What danger do you flee?
150
00:06:28,755 --> 00:06:30,088
Trolls?
151
00:06:30,157 --> 00:06:33,692
Fairies?
152
00:06:33,627 --> 00:06:35,627
Ah, brain-eating cannibals?
153
00:06:36,763 --> 00:06:38,129
Gretta: No danger.
154
00:06:38,065 --> 00:06:45,069
We come seeking answers.
155
00:06:45,138 --> 00:06:49,173
- [clears throat]
Gretta, just to be clear,
156
00:06:49,243 --> 00:06:51,576
the friars are quiet
because...
157
00:06:51,645 --> 00:06:53,311
- They have taken a vow
of silence.
158
00:06:53,380 --> 00:06:54,779
- Well, yeah, but...
159
00:06:54,715 --> 00:07:01,319
Baldric: [clears his throat]
Most reverent friars,
160
00:07:01,255 --> 00:07:06,558
our hearts leap with joy
to see you all again.
161
00:07:06,626 --> 00:07:11,663
How fondly we remember the
months we spent among you,
162
00:07:11,731 --> 00:07:15,033
hiding
from the rampaging draugar.
163
00:07:15,101 --> 00:07:17,735
When you guarded us
with your impenetrable walls
164
00:07:17,804 --> 00:07:23,808
and shielded us
with your invincible robes.
165
00:07:23,744 --> 00:07:29,814
We now come with a new fear
in our hearts.
166
00:07:29,883 --> 00:07:30,949
Tell us,
167
00:07:31,017 --> 00:07:36,554
has one of your Quiet Friar
robes recently gone missing?
168
00:07:36,623 --> 00:07:45,997
- Did you see the thief
who stole it?
169
00:07:45,933 --> 00:07:53,438
[frantic scribbling]
170
00:07:53,506 --> 00:07:54,305
Gretta: That's him!
171
00:07:54,374 --> 00:07:55,607
Wenzo Thief.
172
00:07:55,675 --> 00:08:02,781
- Expertly drawn
Friar Frody.
173
00:08:02,716 --> 00:08:05,850
Gretta: Is that the thief
that stole the invincible robe?
174
00:08:05,918 --> 00:08:11,189
Baldric: Can you tell us
what happened?
175
00:08:11,258 --> 00:08:12,223
Oh.
176
00:08:12,092 --> 00:08:13,558
Gretta: Oh dear.
177
00:08:13,627 --> 00:08:16,427
[joints cracking]
178
00:08:16,330 --> 00:08:18,897
Baldric: Yes, apparently they're
still as competitive as ever,
179
00:08:18,965 --> 00:08:20,064
I can see.
180
00:08:20,133 --> 00:08:20,965
Dwight: Oh, I'm on a team?
181
00:08:21,034 --> 00:08:24,402
Okay.
182
00:08:24,338 --> 00:08:29,006
Baldric: All right,
he's just walking along.
183
00:08:29,076 --> 00:08:30,275
Dwight: You're drawing,
184
00:08:30,343 --> 00:08:31,342
no, that's what you're doing,
185
00:08:31,411 --> 00:08:32,611
you're um,
186
00:08:32,546 --> 00:08:34,112
those are squiggles,
187
00:08:34,147 --> 00:08:36,881
um, you were in the forest.
188
00:08:36,950 --> 00:08:37,549
You were in the forest.
189
00:08:37,617 --> 00:08:39,817
Baldric: Forest, good one.
190
00:08:39,887 --> 00:08:42,254
All right, and you're...
191
00:08:42,322 --> 00:08:43,654
- [stammering]
192
00:08:43,724 --> 00:08:44,589
Baldric: And
you're picking something,
193
00:08:44,658 --> 00:08:45,624
getting crops...
194
00:08:45,659 --> 00:08:46,658
- He's gathering.
195
00:08:46,726 --> 00:08:47,559
Baldric: Ah!
196
00:08:47,627 --> 00:08:48,592
Gathering, gathering.
197
00:08:48,462 --> 00:08:48,994
What are you gathering...
198
00:08:49,062 --> 00:08:49,727
You're gathering...
199
00:08:49,796 --> 00:08:50,395
Gretta: Gathering...
200
00:08:50,463 --> 00:08:52,730
Baldric: Gathering...
201
00:08:52,599 --> 00:08:53,264
Oh! Poop!
202
00:08:53,333 --> 00:08:55,667
- Baguettes?
203
00:08:55,602 --> 00:08:56,600
- Sticks!
204
00:08:56,470 --> 00:08:57,602
Gathering sticks!
205
00:08:57,670 --> 00:09:00,071
Baldric: Oh yes, I s that now.
206
00:09:00,140 --> 00:09:02,273
Oh, he's standing
because he has--
207
00:09:02,342 --> 00:09:02,941
he's lost weight.
208
00:09:03,009 --> 00:09:04,008
Gretta: A man!
209
00:09:04,077 --> 00:09:05,877
- It was a guy,
uh, a person.
210
00:09:05,912 --> 00:09:06,511
No.
211
00:09:06,579 --> 00:09:07,846
Oh! Wenzo Thief!
212
00:09:07,914 --> 00:09:08,546
Baldric and Gretta: Oh, oh!
213
00:09:08,615 --> 00:09:09,013
Baldric: Of course, yes.
214
00:09:09,082 --> 00:09:10,348
Oh, and he fell down,
215
00:09:10,383 --> 00:09:11,215
he's on his knees,
216
00:09:11,285 --> 00:09:12,250
he's having a heart attack.
217
00:09:12,319 --> 00:09:13,885
Dwight: Oh no, he was a--
218
00:09:13,953 --> 00:09:14,852
Gretta: Begging for help!
219
00:09:14,922 --> 00:09:15,386
He was begging for help.
220
00:09:15,455 --> 00:09:16,988
- Oh. Yeah.
221
00:09:17,057 --> 00:09:18,957
Um, he was,
222
00:09:18,992 --> 00:09:21,892
he was doing yoga, squats,
223
00:09:21,762 --> 00:09:23,094
he's working out.
224
00:09:23,163 --> 00:09:24,829
Oh, no, he was running.
225
00:09:24,731 --> 00:09:25,497
Baldric: A monster.
226
00:09:25,565 --> 00:09:26,698
- Someone was chasing him!
227
00:09:26,633 --> 00:09:27,665
Baldric: Oh, yes, yes.
228
00:09:27,734 --> 00:09:28,666
Dwight: Someone's chasing him.
229
00:09:28,735 --> 00:09:30,067
Baldric: Someone's after him!
230
00:09:30,137 --> 00:09:30,835
Gretta: Toy soldier.
231
00:09:30,771 --> 00:09:31,803
Baldric: Chased by who?
232
00:09:31,871 --> 00:09:34,271
Someone with a strap
on their shoulder.
233
00:09:34,174 --> 00:09:35,440
Dwight: Uh, uh, Tin Man!
234
00:09:35,509 --> 00:09:36,541
Baldric: Marching back
and forth--
235
00:09:36,610 --> 00:09:37,542
The royal guard,
the royal guard,
236
00:09:37,478 --> 00:09:38,743
the royal guard!
237
00:09:38,812 --> 00:09:41,279
Baldric and Gretta: [rejoicing]
238
00:09:41,348 --> 00:09:43,948
Gretta: He said he had stolen
nothing from the castle.
239
00:09:44,017 --> 00:09:46,284
Baldric: So you gave him
sanctuary here,
240
00:09:46,153 --> 00:09:48,152
in the Quiet Friary.
241
00:09:48,221 --> 00:09:51,223
And everything was quiet
for many days.
242
00:09:51,291 --> 00:09:52,957
Dwight: The royal guards
couldn't find Wenzo Thief
243
00:09:53,026 --> 00:09:55,026
so they gave up and went home.
244
00:09:55,095 --> 00:09:59,864
Gretta: And that's when Wenzo
Thief showed his true colors.
245
00:09:59,933 --> 00:10:02,968
- He turned
into a blob monster!
246
00:10:02,903 --> 00:10:04,269
It's a-- It's a blob monster.
247
00:10:04,337 --> 00:10:05,003
Baldric: Nope, nope, nope.
248
00:10:04,938 --> 00:10:05,536
No, no, no.
249
00:10:05,606 --> 00:10:06,471
He took it,
250
00:10:06,539 --> 00:10:07,271
he took something.
251
00:10:07,341 --> 00:10:08,573
He took something.
252
00:10:08,642 --> 00:10:09,941
Gretta: [gasps]
253
00:10:10,010 --> 00:10:12,009
A Quiet Friar's robe!
254
00:10:12,079 --> 00:10:12,743
Baldric: Yes, yes!
255
00:10:12,813 --> 00:10:13,945
Gretta: Yes!
256
00:10:13,881 --> 00:10:14,479
Baldric and Gretta: [laugh]
257
00:10:14,414 --> 00:10:15,013
Baldric: Good one.
258
00:10:14,948 --> 00:10:17,448
Ha, ha, ha, ha.
259
00:10:17,517 --> 00:10:18,783
- Sorry.
260
00:10:18,852 --> 00:10:20,318
[pen clatters to floor]
261
00:10:20,254 --> 00:10:21,219
- [clears throat]
262
00:10:21,288 --> 00:10:23,955
But why?
263
00:10:24,024 --> 00:10:25,790
Gretta: Who wouldn't want
a robe of invincibility?
264
00:10:25,859 --> 00:10:28,026
- Oh, when you put it like that.
265
00:10:28,094 --> 00:10:29,026
Baldric: The more troubling
question is this,
266
00:10:29,096 --> 00:10:32,463
why is Wenzo Thief
come back now?
267
00:10:32,532 --> 00:10:33,197
- You said
he was looking for something
268
00:10:33,266 --> 00:10:34,532
in your house.
269
00:10:34,601 --> 00:10:36,134
Baldric: Mm.
270
00:10:36,202 --> 00:10:37,068
- Probably the same thing
he was looking for
271
00:10:37,136 --> 00:10:37,835
when he broke into your castle.
272
00:10:37,905 --> 00:10:38,903
- But what?
273
00:10:38,972 --> 00:10:43,575
Baldric: Well, whatever it is,
he hasn't found it.
274
00:10:43,510 --> 00:10:45,110
Which means...
275
00:10:45,178 --> 00:10:46,878
Gretta: He'll be back.
276
00:10:46,814 --> 00:10:49,214
Dwight: Come here!
277
00:10:49,282 --> 00:10:50,916
You guys are the best.
278
00:10:50,984 --> 00:10:53,718
Let's do this again soon, okay?
279
00:10:53,787 --> 00:10:56,087
Baldric translating:
The Quiet Friar's robe
280
00:10:56,156 --> 00:10:59,891
is invincible
against all weapons
281
00:10:59,960 --> 00:11:04,462
except the shears used to cut it
282
00:11:04,398 --> 00:11:09,534
and the needle
used to stitch it.
283
00:11:09,602 --> 00:11:11,836
Take these weapons,
284
00:11:11,772 --> 00:11:16,608
and use them
to defeat Wenzo Thief.
285
00:11:16,643 --> 00:11:17,708
Gretta: We shall.
286
00:11:17,778 --> 00:11:19,244
And you have my word,
287
00:11:19,312 --> 00:11:22,380
we will return to you
your Quiet Friar's robe.
288
00:11:22,449 --> 00:11:26,217
Dwight: Everybody, jazz hands!
289
00:11:26,286 --> 00:11:29,588
[fork scrapes on plate]
290
00:11:29,656 --> 00:11:31,756
Dwight: Are you sure
Mr. Thief is watching us?
291
00:11:31,625 --> 00:11:34,025
Baldric: Without doubt.
292
00:11:34,094 --> 00:11:37,628
He bides his time and
awaits his chance to strike.
293
00:11:37,698 --> 00:11:38,563
Gretta: A chance
we will give him tonight.
294
00:11:38,631 --> 00:11:41,233
- Mm.
295
00:11:41,301 --> 00:11:44,102
Dwight: Guys, what's with
all the hay bales?
296
00:11:44,170 --> 00:11:45,170
Gretta: Insulation.
297
00:11:45,238 --> 00:11:46,338
Baldric:
The nights are getting chilly.
298
00:11:46,273 --> 00:11:48,907
- You know you can just
turn the thermostat up, right?
299
00:11:48,975 --> 00:11:50,575
[knocking]
300
00:11:50,643 --> 00:11:56,915
Baldric: Ah, finally.
301
00:11:56,983 --> 00:11:58,049
- Baldric!
302
00:11:58,118 --> 00:12:00,251
If you think I'm at your beck
and call, then you are not--
303
00:12:00,320 --> 00:12:02,954
- AH, DO COME IN,
304
00:12:02,890 --> 00:12:04,823
WE'RE ALMOST READY TO GO
TO THE MOVIE SPECTACLE
305
00:12:04,891 --> 00:12:07,291
TO BE ENTERTAINED
FOR 90 MINUTES.
306
00:12:07,361 --> 00:12:08,192
[door slams]
307
00:12:08,262 --> 00:12:09,994
Hexela: Movie spectacle?
308
00:12:10,063 --> 00:12:12,864
Baldric: [angrily] What took
you so long, madame?
309
00:12:12,932 --> 00:12:16,434
Hexela: [angrily] Would you
care to rephrase yourself, sir!
310
00:12:16,303 --> 00:12:17,702
Dwight: Thanks for coming.
311
00:12:17,771 --> 00:12:20,639
We know
you're a buswitch lady.
312
00:12:20,707 --> 00:12:22,773
Hexela: [sweetly] Never too busy
to help a friend,
313
00:12:22,843 --> 00:12:24,709
even if that friend is
an ungrateful oaf
314
00:12:24,778 --> 00:12:26,244
with the manners of a warthog.
315
00:12:26,180 --> 00:12:26,911
Baldric: [growls]
316
00:12:26,980 --> 00:12:27,646
Hexela: [hisses]
317
00:12:27,714 --> 00:12:29,414
- We need your help.
318
00:12:29,349 --> 00:12:30,849
- You so often do--
319
00:12:30,784 --> 00:12:31,816
- To set a trap
for a thief.
320
00:12:31,885 --> 00:12:32,517
- What thief?
321
00:12:32,586 --> 00:12:33,518
- Wenzo Thief.
322
00:12:33,587 --> 00:12:34,552
- That's actually his name.
323
00:12:34,621 --> 00:12:36,020
- Ah, yes,
I know the Thiefs.
324
00:12:36,089 --> 00:12:39,424
They're thiefs,
every one of them.
325
00:12:39,492 --> 00:12:40,158
Baldric: This Thief wants
to steal something
326
00:12:40,226 --> 00:12:41,092
from this house.
327
00:12:41,161 --> 00:12:42,226
Hexela: What?
328
00:12:42,296 --> 00:12:43,728
Gretta: Well, that is what
we hope to learn tonight.
329
00:12:43,664 --> 00:12:44,195
Baldric: Did you bring
the tent?
330
00:12:44,264 --> 00:12:44,863
- The tent?
331
00:12:44,931 --> 00:12:46,598
- I did,
332
00:12:46,533 --> 00:12:47,866
but I'm a working witch
with bills to pay,
333
00:12:47,934 --> 00:12:49,867
and nails to keep pretty.
334
00:12:49,937 --> 00:12:51,069
Baldric: What's your price?
335
00:12:51,138 --> 00:12:58,576
[suspenseful music]
336
00:12:58,645 --> 00:13:00,645
- Rub this turtle.
337
00:13:00,713 --> 00:13:01,947
- Uh.
338
00:13:02,015 --> 00:13:02,314
Baldric: That's it?
339
00:13:02,249 --> 00:13:02,580
Hexela: Yes.
340
00:13:02,649 --> 00:13:03,381
- Why?
341
00:13:03,317 --> 00:13:04,516
Hexela: Why not?
342
00:13:11,324 --> 00:13:13,892
Speak some flattering words
to it.
343
00:13:13,960 --> 00:13:14,825
- Pardon?
344
00:13:14,895 --> 00:13:16,027
- The turtle.
345
00:13:16,096 --> 00:13:20,632
Butter him up!
346
00:13:20,567 --> 00:13:24,369
- Aren't you
a handsome little guy.
347
00:13:24,304 --> 00:13:29,340
Gretta: And
of such regal bearing.
348
00:13:29,409 --> 00:13:34,946
Baldric: What a pleasantly
smooth shell you have.
349
00:13:35,014 --> 00:13:36,214
Hexela: [sniffs]
350
00:13:36,283 --> 00:13:39,918
That'll do.
351
00:13:39,986 --> 00:13:43,855
There.
352
00:13:43,791 --> 00:13:46,024
I shudder to think
what you'd do without me...
353
00:13:46,092 --> 00:13:49,261
Baldric.
354
00:13:49,329 --> 00:13:51,829
- I'm still a little fuzzy
on the plan.
355
00:13:51,899 --> 00:13:54,565
Gretta: We go to the movies.
356
00:13:54,635 --> 00:13:56,768
[door opens]
357
00:13:56,703 --> 00:13:59,370
- LET US DEPART,
YOUR HIGHNESS.
358
00:13:59,439 --> 00:14:02,106
Gretta: LEAD ON
MY TRUSTY MAGICIAN,
359
00:14:02,175 --> 00:14:05,877
QUICKLY LEST
WE MISS THE PREVIEWS.
360
00:14:05,945 --> 00:14:18,489
Hexela: AND I SHALL BUY
THE CORN THAT POPS.
361
00:14:18,558 --> 00:14:19,524
Dwight: So if we're not going
to the movies,
362
00:14:19,593 --> 00:14:22,460
then what's the plan?
363
00:14:22,529 --> 00:14:23,695
Baldric: Make haste.
364
00:14:23,763 --> 00:14:28,666
Dwight: Ah.
365
00:14:28,735 --> 00:14:30,401
- Oh.
366
00:14:30,470 --> 00:14:36,274
Dwight: Uh, [laughs]
367
00:14:36,210 --> 00:14:37,943
That is so freaky cool.
368
00:14:37,878 --> 00:14:39,677
[door handle jiggles]
369
00:14:39,746 --> 00:14:42,280
Gretta: Hide.
370
00:14:42,348 --> 00:14:57,195
Dwight: [grunt]
371
00:14:57,263 --> 00:15:02,500
Dwight: [grunt]
372
00:15:02,569 --> 00:15:03,434
- Ya, cha, cha.
373
00:15:03,503 --> 00:15:05,470
Ya, cha, cha.
374
00:15:05,538 --> 00:15:07,472
Ya, cha, ya, cha,
375
00:15:07,540 --> 00:15:08,506
CHA!
376
00:15:08,575 --> 00:15:10,976
Baldric: Hold!
377
00:15:11,044 --> 00:15:13,011
Gretta: Sir Dwight, catch!
378
00:15:12,946 --> 00:15:14,079
- Ow!
379
00:15:14,014 --> 00:15:17,082
[fighting grunts]
380
00:15:17,017 --> 00:15:21,118
Gretta: Ha!
381
00:15:21,188 --> 00:15:23,622
- Wenzo Thief.
382
00:15:23,690 --> 00:15:25,357
- Hello.
383
00:15:25,425 --> 00:15:28,025
Didn't think anyone was home.
384
00:15:28,095 --> 00:15:29,628
Gretta: You have been pinned
to the table
385
00:15:29,563 --> 00:15:31,463
by invincible shears.
386
00:15:31,398 --> 00:15:33,131
- Oh, is that what those are.
387
00:15:33,166 --> 00:15:36,301
Gretta: Yield villain,
or Sir Dwight will...
388
00:15:36,369 --> 00:15:39,604
do you bodily injury
with his invincible needle.
389
00:15:39,673 --> 00:15:41,139
Dwight: Um.
390
00:15:41,074 --> 00:15:46,011
Gretta.
391
00:15:45,946 --> 00:15:48,212
I lost the invincible needle.
392
00:15:48,282 --> 00:15:48,480
Gretta: What?
393
00:15:48,548 --> 00:15:51,049
Where?
394
00:15:51,117 --> 00:15:53,552
Dwight: Literally
in a haystack.
395
00:15:53,587 --> 00:15:56,821
- A Quiet Friar's robe.
396
00:15:56,890 --> 00:16:00,191
Baldric: Stolen
by this shameless thief.
397
00:16:00,127 --> 00:16:03,027
And after
they gave you sanctuary!
398
00:16:03,096 --> 00:16:05,430
- I was thinking
about giving it back.
399
00:16:05,498 --> 00:16:07,265
- Oh, oh.
400
00:16:07,334 --> 00:16:09,067
Wenzo: I just needed it
to finish this one job.
401
00:16:09,135 --> 00:16:12,337
Gretta: Well,
you have failed Wenzo Thief.
402
00:16:12,405 --> 00:16:14,039
Baldric: Hand over
your booty.
403
00:16:14,041 --> 00:16:14,940
Dwight: His what?
404
00:16:14,875 --> 00:16:16,007
- Happy to oblige.
your booty.
405
00:16:16,076 --> 00:16:17,275
- You are?
406
00:16:17,344 --> 00:16:19,244
- I'm a thief, not a martyr.
407
00:16:19,279 --> 00:16:27,986
[ominous music]
408
00:16:28,054 --> 00:16:28,854
- What is it?
409
00:16:28,922 --> 00:16:34,226
- A tovenaar relic.
410
00:16:34,161 --> 00:16:35,026
Dwight: Ha!
411
00:16:35,094 --> 00:16:36,561
Found it!
412
00:16:36,630 --> 00:16:38,863
All right Mr. Thief,
413
00:16:38,799 --> 00:16:40,798
your invincible robes got
nothin' on my invincible needle
414
00:16:40,867 --> 00:16:43,435
so start talking.
415
00:16:43,503 --> 00:16:46,938
- Yes,
I would be all too pleased.
416
00:16:46,874 --> 00:16:48,139
Do you think you could unpin me
from this table?
417
00:16:48,075 --> 00:16:49,941
All: No.
418
00:16:50,009 --> 00:16:51,443
- And what
a comfortable table it is.
419
00:16:51,378 --> 00:16:53,178
- Where did you get this?
420
00:16:53,246 --> 00:16:55,980
- I am a Thief
from a long line of Thiefs.
421
00:16:56,049 --> 00:16:58,049
My father, Bozo Thief, was hired
422
00:16:57,985 --> 00:16:59,550
to break into
Your Highness's castle
423
00:16:59,620 --> 00:17:00,818
and steal that relic.
424
00:17:00,888 --> 00:17:01,419
- Your father?
425
00:17:01,488 --> 00:17:02,287
- Bozo?
426
00:17:02,355 --> 00:17:04,722
- Alas, he was hanged
as a thief
427
00:17:04,791 --> 00:17:05,924
before he could do the job.
428
00:17:05,992 --> 00:17:07,092
- That's terrible.
429
00:17:07,160 --> 00:17:08,560
- Such is the fate
of we thieves.
430
00:17:08,628 --> 00:17:12,864
My father, my grandfather,
his second wife, her stepmum,
431
00:17:12,933 --> 00:17:14,532
all hanged
from the same yew tree.
432
00:17:14,601 --> 00:17:17,468
They call it Thief Tree.
433
00:17:17,537 --> 00:17:19,570
I'll most likely swing
from it myself one day.
434
00:17:19,640 --> 00:17:21,039
- [murmuring assent]
435
00:17:21,107 --> 00:17:24,709
Dwight: Or you could just
stop stealing stuff.
436
00:17:24,645 --> 00:17:26,878
Hexela: Bozo Thief was hanged
from Thief Tree.
437
00:17:26,946 --> 00:17:28,013
- Like all good Thiefs.
438
00:17:27,948 --> 00:17:29,747
- Mm.
439
00:17:29,816 --> 00:17:32,184
Then why were you the one
to steal this relic?
440
00:17:32,252 --> 00:17:34,219
Wenzo: Well,
the client paid in advance
441
00:17:34,154 --> 00:17:36,687
and we had already
drunk away the money,
442
00:17:36,757 --> 00:17:38,956
so the job fell to me.
443
00:17:39,026 --> 00:17:42,394
[labored breathing]
444
00:17:42,462 --> 00:17:46,164
I scaled the castle walls
like a spider.
445
00:17:46,232 --> 00:17:47,298
And entered the castle
446
00:17:47,367 --> 00:17:48,166
[grunting]
447
00:17:48,235 --> 00:17:50,034
with the grace of a cat.
448
00:17:50,103 --> 00:17:51,069
[yells]
449
00:17:51,004 --> 00:17:52,737
[crashing]
450
00:17:52,805 --> 00:17:54,672
My instructions were
to find a secret chamber
451
00:17:54,741 --> 00:17:56,441
deep in the bowels
of the castle.
452
00:17:56,509 --> 00:17:58,243
I hid by day,
453
00:17:58,311 --> 00:17:59,677
and I searched the castle
by night,
454
00:17:59,746 --> 00:18:01,245
with the stealth of a,
455
00:18:01,315 --> 00:18:02,713
of a,
456
00:18:02,783 --> 00:18:05,883
what's a real stealthy animal
only comes out at night?
457
00:18:05,952 --> 00:18:06,417
- A vampire.
458
00:18:06,486 --> 00:18:07,119
Gretta: A wolf?
459
00:18:07,187 --> 00:18:07,652
Baldric: An owl?
460
00:18:07,721 --> 00:18:08,320
Dwight: A racoon?
461
00:18:08,255 --> 00:18:09,254
- A lynx.
462
00:18:09,322 --> 00:18:10,055
All: Ah..
463
00:18:10,123 --> 00:18:11,123
Dwight: Yeah, that's right.
464
00:18:11,191 --> 00:18:13,825
Wenzo: So, I'm stalking around
like a lynx, right,
465
00:18:13,894 --> 00:18:18,430
until I found
the secret chamber.
466
00:18:18,498 --> 00:18:20,031
I knew where to look,
467
00:18:20,099 --> 00:18:23,801
but though my flight was
light-footed as a fox,
468
00:18:23,870 --> 00:18:25,570
the royal guards discovered me.
469
00:18:25,639 --> 00:18:27,038
[heavy breathing]
470
00:18:27,107 --> 00:18:29,874
No, no, no, no.
471
00:18:29,943 --> 00:18:31,342
I knew if I was found
with the relic, I would--
472
00:18:31,411 --> 00:18:32,343
Gretta: Swing
from Thief Tree?
473
00:18:32,412 --> 00:18:33,445
Wenzo: Yes.
474
00:18:33,513 --> 00:18:37,682
I'm not quite ready for that,
so I hid my booty instead.
475
00:18:37,751 --> 00:18:39,251
- Your what?
476
00:18:39,319 --> 00:18:40,252
Baldric: You climbed to the
window and leapt--
477
00:18:40,320 --> 00:18:41,753
- Like a tiger.
478
00:18:41,821 --> 00:18:43,588
- Out of the castle
to escape into the woods.
479
00:18:43,656 --> 00:18:44,722
- Then what happened?
480
00:18:44,791 --> 00:18:47,058
- The Quiet Friars hid me
from the royal guards.
481
00:18:47,126 --> 00:18:49,193
- You stole
a Quiet Friar's robe.
482
00:18:49,263 --> 00:18:50,395
- Anyway,
483
00:18:50,463 --> 00:18:52,063
I was walking back
to the castle
484
00:18:52,132 --> 00:18:53,832
when I unaccountably
and uncontrollably
485
00:18:53,900 --> 00:18:55,666
fell sound asleep.
486
00:18:55,736 --> 00:18:56,968
- The champion spell.
487
00:18:57,037 --> 00:19:00,071
Wenzo: When I awoke,
your castle was in ruins.
488
00:19:00,140 --> 00:19:02,507
After months of tracking you
like a panther,
489
00:19:02,576 --> 00:19:04,509
I finally found you here.
490
00:19:04,445 --> 00:19:06,244
Baldric: And you broke in
last night.
491
00:19:06,313 --> 00:19:07,945
- Yes,
and then you recognized me.
492
00:19:08,015 --> 00:19:09,280
Gretta: And we went
to the Quiet Friary
493
00:19:09,349 --> 00:19:11,249
and got the invincible
shears and needle.
494
00:19:11,318 --> 00:19:12,183
- And then Baldric
called me and asked me
495
00:19:12,252 --> 00:19:13,285
to bring my tent.
496
00:19:13,353 --> 00:19:14,018
Gretta: We set our trap.
497
00:19:14,087 --> 00:19:15,153
Baldric: You broke in again.
498
00:19:15,088 --> 00:19:16,487
- Guys, we were all here
for this part.
499
00:19:16,557 --> 00:19:16,955
Baldric and Gretta: Oh.
500
00:19:16,890 --> 00:19:18,023
- So...
501
00:19:18,091 --> 00:19:20,325
now you know all.
502
00:19:20,393 --> 00:19:25,397
- Not quite, Mr. Thief.
503
00:19:25,332 --> 00:19:27,999
Who hired you to steal
this relic?
504
00:19:28,068 --> 00:19:29,133
- Oh.
505
00:19:29,202 --> 00:19:31,102
That I cannot say, m'lady.
506
00:19:31,038 --> 00:19:33,271
Dwight: 'Cause
you don't know?
507
00:19:33,207 --> 00:19:34,873
- Because he will cut out
my tongue
508
00:19:34,941 --> 00:19:36,207
and feed it to the ravens.
509
00:19:36,276 --> 00:19:37,675
- [disgusted noise]
510
00:19:37,744 --> 00:19:38,944
- Oh, okay.
511
00:19:39,012 --> 00:19:40,912
Well, nobody wants that.
512
00:19:40,848 --> 00:19:41,846
- Uh-uh.
513
00:19:41,915 --> 00:19:43,781
Here's what I propose.
514
00:19:43,850 --> 00:19:45,316
You unfasten me
from this table
515
00:19:45,385 --> 00:19:47,385
and then I will just skulk off
into the night like a--
516
00:19:47,321 --> 00:19:47,986
- Skunk!
517
00:19:48,054 --> 00:19:48,920
- Uh, badger,
518
00:19:48,955 --> 00:19:50,021
I was gonna say badger.
519
00:19:50,089 --> 00:19:51,256
Baldric: No, I think skunk.
520
00:19:51,191 --> 00:19:53,724
- Look,
you can keep the little trinket,
521
00:19:53,794 --> 00:19:54,259
I won't say anything,
522
00:19:54,327 --> 00:19:56,027
you won't say anything,
523
00:19:55,963 --> 00:19:58,029
it'll be our little secret.
524
00:19:58,098 --> 00:20:00,732
- And what of your client?
525
00:20:00,800 --> 00:20:02,566
- My problem, not yours.
526
00:20:07,774 --> 00:20:09,840
- Well, I'm off.
527
00:20:09,910 --> 00:20:11,142
Pockets to pick.
528
00:20:11,211 --> 00:20:13,745
Houses to burgle.
529
00:20:13,680 --> 00:20:14,713
Dwight: You know, man,
530
00:20:14,748 --> 00:20:18,883
you're a smart guy
with a skillset.
531
00:20:18,952 --> 00:20:20,585
Maybe you should think
about getting out
532
00:20:20,653 --> 00:20:21,720
of the thief business.
533
00:20:21,655 --> 00:20:22,787
You know,
534
00:20:22,856 --> 00:20:25,256
maybe then you wouldn't have
to swing from Thief Tree.
535
00:20:25,325 --> 00:20:26,124
Wenzo: [laughs briefly]
536
00:20:26,192 --> 00:20:29,727
But I'm Wenzo Thief.
537
00:20:29,796 --> 00:20:31,195
Dwight: Well, maybe
you could be Wenzo Architect,
538
00:20:31,264 --> 00:20:35,333
or Wenzo Grocery Checker,
Wenzo Attorney-at-Law.
539
00:20:35,402 --> 00:20:37,969
You got choices, man.
540
00:20:38,038 --> 00:20:40,872
Wenzo: I'm Wenzo Thief.
541
00:20:40,808 --> 00:20:42,707
- Just something
to think about.
542
00:20:42,776 --> 00:20:48,814
Wenzo: And now I slip softly
into the night, like a bat.
543
00:20:48,849 --> 00:20:50,749
[crash]
544
00:20:50,817 --> 00:20:51,683
Sorry.
545
00:20:51,751 --> 00:20:53,551
[door opens and shuts]
546
00:20:53,620 --> 00:20:58,055
Gretta: Baldric, please return
this to the Quiet Friary.
547
00:20:58,125 --> 00:21:00,892
Baldric: Of course, Highness.
548
00:21:00,828 --> 00:21:05,363
Gretta: [sighs]
And what of this?
549
00:21:05,431 --> 00:21:06,698
Hexela: I know a safe place.
550
00:21:06,766 --> 00:21:08,332
[ominous music]
551
00:21:08,402 --> 00:21:14,105
โช
552
00:21:14,173 --> 00:21:19,677
โช
553
00:21:19,746 --> 00:21:33,892
โช
554
00:21:33,960 --> 00:21:36,427
[key turns]
555
00:21:43,970 --> 00:21:47,539
[key locks]
556
00:21:54,747 --> 00:21:58,150
Hexela: [exhales]
557
00:21:58,218 --> 00:22:03,254
Baldric: You put yourself
at terrible risk, Hexela.
558
00:22:03,323 --> 00:22:06,157
Surely we can find
another place to--
559
00:22:06,093 --> 00:22:09,461
Hexela: Secure a tovenaar relic?
560
00:22:09,529 --> 00:22:16,801
This one and all the others
must never see the light of day.
561
00:22:21,874 --> 00:22:24,876
- Wenzo Schoolmarm, no,
562
00:22:24,945 --> 00:22:25,810
Wenzo Wheat-Farmer?
563
00:22:25,879 --> 00:22:27,645
Hmm, no.
564
00:22:27,714 --> 00:22:31,082
Wenzo Canine-Companion, yes,
565
00:22:31,151 --> 00:22:33,551
though I think they call it
doggy daycare now.
566
00:22:33,620 --> 00:22:39,324
[forest sounds]
567
00:22:39,392 --> 00:22:41,125
- Uh.
568
00:22:41,194 --> 00:22:42,693
Sir Aldred of Westfold.
569
00:22:42,763 --> 00:22:44,496
Well met.
570
00:22:44,564 --> 00:22:48,433
- Wenzo Thief,
571
00:22:48,368 --> 00:22:52,670
I paid you handsomely
for a simple burglary.
572
00:22:52,739 --> 00:22:54,572
Wenzo: I found the castle
and the secret chamber
573
00:22:54,641 --> 00:22:56,875
and the stone box,
just as you instructed.
574
00:22:56,810 --> 00:23:00,979
Sir Aldred: I've been there
myself and found nothing.
575
00:23:01,047 --> 00:23:02,380
Please tell me it was you
that stole the relic
576
00:23:02,316 --> 00:23:04,883
before I could.
577
00:23:04,951 --> 00:23:06,851
Wenzo: Alas, no,
578
00:23:06,919 --> 00:23:14,092
when I opened the crypt
it was empty.
579
00:23:14,027 --> 00:23:15,594
Sir Aldred: As I feared.
580
00:23:15,662 --> 00:23:18,796
The relic is long gone.
581
00:23:18,865 --> 00:23:20,799
Wenzo: Awfully disappointing.
582
00:23:20,734 --> 00:23:22,167
Sir Aldred:
But I am optimistic.
583
00:23:22,235 --> 00:23:23,167
Wenzo: You are?
584
00:23:23,237 --> 00:23:24,835
Sir Aldred: To a fault.
585
00:23:24,905 --> 00:23:31,242
This relic is lost to me,
but my hopes remain high,
586
00:23:31,311 --> 00:23:33,645
for there are others.
587
00:23:33,713 --> 00:23:44,623
[loud construction]
588
00:23:44,691 --> 00:23:48,560
[ominous music]
589
00:23:48,495 --> 00:24:03,508
โช
590
00:24:03,444 --> 00:24:08,847
โช
591
00:24:08,915 --> 00:24:21,059
[creaking]
592
00:24:21,127 --> 00:24:24,329
Man: [exhales]
593
00:24:24,264 --> 00:24:32,571
[high-pitched ringing]
594
00:24:32,639 --> 00:24:36,274
[whimpering]
595
00:24:36,342 --> 00:25:06,621
โช
596
00:25:06,671 --> 00:25:11,221
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