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1
00:00:00,500 --> 00:00:01,299
Male Cheerleader:
We took down Timberland!
2
00:00:01,367 --> 00:00:03,601
We decimated Forest Glen!
3
00:00:03,537 --> 00:00:06,437
And we obliterated Riverside!
4
00:00:06,505 --> 00:00:08,239
None of that
is gonna mean a thing
5
00:00:08,307 --> 00:00:10,241
if we don't wipe the floor
with Lakeview High
6
00:00:10,309 --> 00:00:11,142
in the big game tonight!
7
00:00:11,078 --> 00:00:15,947
[cheering]
8
00:00:16,015 --> 00:00:17,215
Male Cheerleader:
This is it Woodside!
9
00:00:17,283 --> 00:00:19,250
This is the showdown
with our biggest rivals,
10
00:00:19,319 --> 00:00:20,952
all right?
11
00:00:20,887 --> 00:00:21,952
We need you out there
in full force tonight.
12
00:00:22,022 --> 00:00:28,326
[cheering]
13
00:00:28,394 --> 00:00:31,429
[ominous breathing]
14
00:00:31,498 --> 00:00:46,044
[ominous breathing]
15
00:00:45,979 --> 00:00:47,411
Gretta: Sir Dwight,
it is almost time.
16
00:00:47,480 --> 00:00:51,249
[muffled groans]
17
00:00:51,184 --> 00:00:52,416
- You are unwell.
18
00:00:52,486 --> 00:00:53,585
- What?
19
00:00:53,653 --> 00:00:56,588
No, no, no, no.
20
00:00:56,523 --> 00:00:58,690
I'm fine.
21
00:00:58,758 --> 00:00:59,623
Male Cheerleader: Do you hear
that Lakeview?
22
00:00:59,693 --> 00:01:02,226
[cheering]
23
00:01:02,295 --> 00:01:04,696
Male Cheerleader: That's
what's waiting for you tonight.
24
00:01:04,764 --> 00:01:05,864
[cheering]
25
00:01:05,899 --> 00:01:07,832
Male Cheerleader: We are going
to tear you guys apart!
26
00:01:07,901 --> 00:01:11,735
And just in case
you don't think we're serious.
27
00:01:11,805 --> 00:01:16,841
We stole your precious little
horn out of your trophy case.
28
00:01:16,910 --> 00:01:18,309
Yeah, and if you want it back,
29
00:01:18,378 --> 00:01:21,612
you're gonna have
to fight us for it.
30
00:01:21,681 --> 00:01:27,518
[horn sounds long and loud]
31
00:01:27,587 --> 00:01:35,927
[birds chirping]
32
00:01:35,995 --> 00:01:43,501
[horn is heard again]
33
00:01:43,569 --> 00:01:44,235
[growls]
34
00:01:44,304 --> 00:01:45,670
[theme music]
35
00:01:45,738 --> 00:01:46,537
Dwight: Okay,
about a thousand years ago,
36
00:01:46,606 --> 00:01:47,538
there was this princess, Gretta.
37
00:01:47,607 --> 00:01:48,839
And she was in big trouble,
38
00:01:48,908 --> 00:01:51,843
because she had lots of enemies
and not a lot of friends.
39
00:01:51,911 --> 00:01:53,945
♪
40
00:01:54,013 --> 00:01:57,749
So her court magician,
Baldric cast the champion spell.
41
00:01:57,817 --> 00:01:58,883
It put everyone
in the woods to sleep
42
00:01:58,952 --> 00:02:01,018
until a champion would come,
break the spell with his kiss
43
00:02:01,087 --> 00:02:03,521
and deal with
Gretta's big, scary enemies.
44
00:02:03,590 --> 00:02:05,590
But that guy never showed up.
45
00:02:05,525 --> 00:02:05,757
Instead...
46
00:02:05,825 --> 00:02:07,025
Ah!
47
00:02:06,960 --> 00:02:07,925
[kissing noise]
48
00:02:07,994 --> 00:02:08,592
they got me.
49
00:02:08,662 --> 00:02:10,061
♪
50
00:02:09,996 --> 00:02:11,028
Ah!
51
00:02:11,097 --> 00:02:15,399
♪
52
00:02:15,468 --> 00:02:16,201
Dwight: Ow!
53
00:02:16,136 --> 00:02:30,482
♪
54
00:02:30,550 --> 00:02:32,183
[cheering]
55
00:02:32,119 --> 00:02:33,518
Male Cheerleader:
Now, to bring us home,
56
00:02:33,453 --> 00:02:37,922
Woodside's very own good luck
charm, Woody the Woodchuck!
57
00:02:37,991 --> 00:02:42,093
[cheering]
58
00:02:42,161 --> 00:02:44,262
- Have no fear,
I know what to do.
59
00:02:44,197 --> 00:02:45,897
My uncle suffered
from the mariner's plague.
60
00:02:45,832 --> 00:02:46,998
- The what?
61
00:02:47,066 --> 00:02:48,099
- I will get the leeches.
62
00:02:48,034 --> 00:02:50,268
- No!
63
00:02:50,336 --> 00:02:52,804
[breathing deeply]
64
00:02:52,872 --> 00:02:56,541
Hee, hee, hoo, hoo.
65
00:02:56,609 --> 00:02:58,343
Okay.
66
00:02:58,345 --> 00:03:05,717
The woodchuck must go on.
67
00:03:05,752 --> 00:03:07,585
Woo!
68
00:03:07,654 --> 00:03:09,087
Woodchuck!
69
00:03:09,155 --> 00:03:13,424
[music and cheering]
70
00:03:13,360 --> 00:03:17,628
[music and cheering]
71
00:03:17,697 --> 00:03:21,332
[music and cheering]
72
00:03:21,401 --> 00:03:36,280
[music and cheering]
73
00:03:36,349 --> 00:03:45,689
[music and cheering]
74
00:03:45,759 --> 00:03:48,726
[stomach gurgling loudly]
75
00:03:51,831 --> 00:03:56,868
Dwight: [vomiting]
76
00:03:56,936 --> 00:03:58,603
[groans]
77
00:03:58,671 --> 00:03:59,571
All better.
78
00:03:59,506 --> 00:04:01,506
[phone notification]
79
00:04:01,574 --> 00:04:05,343
Uh, uh.
80
00:04:05,411 --> 00:04:06,611
Snackstand.
81
00:04:06,546 --> 00:04:07,478
Gretta: No.
82
00:04:07,547 --> 00:04:09,113
Sir Dwight, you need rest,
83
00:04:09,049 --> 00:04:10,514
in a dark room with no drafts
84
00:04:10,584 --> 00:04:11,649
where we can let
the foul blood out of you.
85
00:04:11,585 --> 00:04:13,684
Dwight: No, we're leaving
my blood right where it is.
86
00:04:13,753 --> 00:04:14,819
Gretta: But we must--
87
00:04:14,888 --> 00:04:17,355
Dwight: I can't be sick, okay.
88
00:04:17,424 --> 00:04:20,324
Lakeview is our biggest rival,
and Woody must come through.
89
00:04:20,393 --> 00:04:22,360
- Come through what?
90
00:04:22,295 --> 00:04:24,528
- Woody the Woodchuck
has only missed three games
91
00:04:24,598 --> 00:04:26,398
in the last twenty years,
92
00:04:26,466 --> 00:04:27,665
and each
of those three times,
93
00:04:27,601 --> 00:04:29,733
we have suffered
our worst defeats.
94
00:04:29,736 --> 00:04:31,368
Woody means everything
to this school.
95
00:04:31,438 --> 00:04:32,270
And even if I am p--
96
00:04:32,205 --> 00:04:36,174
[gags]
97
00:04:36,109 --> 00:04:39,544
feeling a bit touchy
in the tummy,
98
00:04:39,612 --> 00:04:42,547
the Woodchuck
has to bring it.
99
00:04:42,615 --> 00:04:44,715
- Bring what?
100
00:04:44,784 --> 00:04:46,251
- Sir Dwight!
101
00:04:46,319 --> 00:04:47,618
I just heard
the fateful news.
102
00:04:47,687 --> 00:04:49,020
Dwight: What's that?
103
00:04:49,088 --> 00:04:51,222
Baldric: A tonic.
104
00:04:51,290 --> 00:04:54,425
It could make a dead man leap
from his grave.
105
00:04:54,494 --> 00:04:55,260
- I'm not even gonna
ask what's in it.
106
00:04:55,195 --> 00:05:02,033
- Very wise.
107
00:05:02,101 --> 00:05:03,167
- Okay, what's in it?
108
00:05:03,236 --> 00:05:04,335
Baldric: The juice
of five figs.
109
00:05:04,404 --> 00:05:05,469
- Uh-huh.
110
00:05:05,538 --> 00:05:07,038
Baldric: The powdered pits
of three apricots.
111
00:05:07,107 --> 00:05:07,839
- It actually doesn't
sound so--
112
00:05:07,874 --> 00:05:09,273
- The intestines
of two field mice.
113
00:05:09,342 --> 00:05:12,143
- And there it is.
114
00:05:12,245 --> 00:05:15,380
Look, I appreciate your concern,
but I'm good.
115
00:05:15,448 --> 00:05:18,216
I'm actually allergic
to apricot pits.
116
00:05:18,284 --> 00:05:19,417
Baldric: Oh.
117
00:05:19,352 --> 00:05:20,918
- And field mice.
118
00:05:20,987 --> 00:05:23,121
Boy: Dwight, hey whoa.
119
00:05:23,189 --> 00:05:25,389
Dude, you look like... terrible.
120
00:05:25,325 --> 00:05:26,323
Gretta: It's the plague.
121
00:05:26,393 --> 00:05:27,491
Or the scourge.
122
00:05:27,561 --> 00:05:28,893
Possibly the pestilence.
123
00:05:28,962 --> 00:05:29,927
- It's the half-off sushi.
124
00:05:29,996 --> 00:05:31,596
- Oh.
125
00:05:31,531 --> 00:05:34,098
[gulp]
126
00:05:34,167 --> 00:05:37,802
Baldric: To protect
against the half-off sushi.
127
00:05:37,870 --> 00:05:39,370
Boy: Have you tried castor oil?
128
00:05:39,438 --> 00:05:42,239
And peanut butter
with ginger?
129
00:05:42,309 --> 00:05:43,641
Got my dad up and running
130
00:05:43,710 --> 00:05:45,143
after he had
a really bad tuna roll.
131
00:05:45,211 --> 00:05:47,878
Dwight: Okay, do we have um,
132
00:05:47,948 --> 00:05:50,415
organic popcorn, um,
brown rice krispie squares
133
00:05:50,483 --> 00:05:53,384
and biodegradable,
um, plastic straws?
134
00:05:53,453 --> 00:05:57,288
- Uh, check, check and check.
135
00:05:57,356 --> 00:05:58,722
Dude, seriously,
you look like death.
136
00:05:58,792 --> 00:06:00,925
Like, really, really deathly.
137
00:06:00,994 --> 00:06:01,526
Dwight: Thanks man.
138
00:06:01,461 --> 00:06:02,527
[slap]
139
00:06:02,595 --> 00:06:04,028
Go Woodchucks.
140
00:06:04,097 --> 00:06:10,267
Boy: Go Woodchucks.
141
00:06:10,337 --> 00:06:13,204
- Have you
any mutton shanks?
142
00:06:13,140 --> 00:06:21,212
[ominous drumming]
143
00:06:21,148 --> 00:06:22,847
Baldric: Begone, devils.
144
00:06:22,915 --> 00:06:24,648
[shaking] I say begone!
145
00:06:24,718 --> 00:06:25,817
Begone!
146
00:06:25,885 --> 00:06:30,121
- Gak!
147
00:06:30,189 --> 00:06:33,057
Good luck charm.
148
00:06:33,126 --> 00:06:34,726
For the big game.
149
00:06:34,661 --> 00:06:36,494
Look guys.
150
00:06:36,563 --> 00:06:38,696
I really appreciate
all your chants
151
00:06:38,764 --> 00:06:43,634
and all your tonics and
[sniffing] what is this?
152
00:06:43,703 --> 00:06:46,904
- Devil Begone.
153
00:06:46,973 --> 00:06:48,439
- You know what?
154
00:06:48,508 --> 00:06:49,707
I'm actually feeling better.
155
00:06:49,776 --> 00:06:50,441
- Oh.
156
00:06:50,510 --> 00:06:52,676
- And you know why?
157
00:06:52,746 --> 00:06:54,078
Because
I don't have a choice.
158
00:06:54,014 --> 00:06:55,146
I have a job to do.
159
00:06:55,214 --> 00:06:56,915
I have several jobs to do.
160
00:06:56,850 --> 00:06:57,381
Gretta: But can't someone
else--
161
00:06:57,450 --> 00:06:58,116
Dwight: No!
162
00:06:58,184 --> 00:07:00,050
I will not be that guy.
163
00:07:00,120 --> 00:07:01,486
Nobody else is gonna be
Woody the Woodchuck
164
00:07:01,421 --> 00:07:02,887
for the pre-game
or half-time shows,
165
00:07:02,955 --> 00:07:04,756
and nobody else is going
to announce the game.
166
00:07:04,824 --> 00:07:06,524
It is on me.
167
00:07:06,593 --> 00:07:08,359
- I truly admire
your valor, Sir Dwight.
168
00:07:09,830 --> 00:07:13,831
Dwight: Lakeview is our arch
enemy and we will not go down
169
00:07:13,900 --> 00:07:15,766
on my watch.
170
00:07:15,836 --> 00:07:19,270
- You mean our honor
is at stake?
171
00:07:19,206 --> 00:07:20,104
- Yeah.
172
00:07:20,173 --> 00:07:22,006
- Huh.
173
00:07:21,942 --> 00:07:24,642
I understand.
174
00:07:24,711 --> 00:07:27,078
We will uphold the honor
of Woodside.
175
00:07:27,013 --> 00:07:34,151
- Glory to the brave.
176
00:07:34,220 --> 00:07:35,019
- Great.
177
00:07:35,088 --> 00:07:41,926
- ALL HAIL THE WOODCHUCK!
178
00:07:41,995 --> 00:07:43,728
- 'Kay.
179
00:07:43,796 --> 00:07:45,129
Hey Sophie,
how are we looking for--
180
00:07:45,198 --> 00:07:47,966
- Dwight,
you don't look so hot.
181
00:07:48,034 --> 00:08:01,612
[distorted]
You don't look so hot.
182
00:08:01,681 --> 00:08:05,116
[sounds are distorted]
Are you hungry, Dwight?
183
00:08:05,052 --> 00:08:12,423
Or do you just want a bite?
184
00:08:12,359 --> 00:08:13,591
Dwight: [gagging
with mouth closed]
185
00:08:13,659 --> 00:08:14,859
Baldric: Oh!
186
00:08:14,927 --> 00:08:17,262
Dwight: [vomiting loudly]
187
00:08:17,197 --> 00:08:18,896
[shaking]
188
00:08:18,965 --> 00:08:28,940
[cheering]
189
00:08:29,008 --> 00:08:31,242
Baldric: What weapons
have they chosen?
190
00:08:31,178 --> 00:08:34,312
Gretta:
Only those orange orbs.
191
00:08:34,380 --> 00:08:36,681
- Strange choice
of weapon.
192
00:08:36,749 --> 00:08:46,691
[cheering and music]
193
00:08:46,759 --> 00:08:48,492
Baldric: Sir Dwight!
194
00:08:48,562 --> 00:08:51,830
You are called to arms.
195
00:08:51,898 --> 00:08:53,231
Gretta: I will go tell them
you are unwell.
196
00:08:53,166 --> 00:08:54,865
Dwight: No, no, no.
197
00:08:54,935 --> 00:08:56,434
The pre-game is just
as important as
198
00:08:56,503 --> 00:08:58,903
a pep rally
and half time shows.
199
00:08:58,971 --> 00:09:00,505
It's all part
of the Woodside ritual.
200
00:09:00,573 --> 00:09:02,106
If Woody doesn't show,
we don't win.
201
00:09:02,175 --> 00:09:08,580
It is a proven aoo- ao-
algorithm.
202
00:09:08,648 --> 00:09:11,349
Thirty more seconds.
203
00:09:11,418 --> 00:09:13,752
Aaaah.
204
00:09:13,820 --> 00:09:15,219
So cold.
205
00:09:15,288 --> 00:09:17,088
So nice.
206
00:09:17,156 --> 00:09:18,523
Okay, okay, mm.
207
00:09:18,591 --> 00:09:19,323
Here we go.
208
00:09:19,392 --> 00:09:27,031
[inhales deeply]
209
00:09:27,100 --> 00:09:31,402
- For the honor
of Woodside.
210
00:09:31,471 --> 00:09:33,972
- Uh.
211
00:09:34,040 --> 00:09:36,707
Baldric: ALL HAIL
THE WOODCHUCK!
212
00:09:36,776 --> 00:09:42,447
[cheering]
213
00:09:42,515 --> 00:09:45,183
- Oh look,
it's a little Woodchuck.
214
00:09:45,251 --> 00:09:45,917
Baldric: Woody!
215
00:09:45,852 --> 00:09:46,784
Woody!
216
00:09:46,853 --> 00:09:47,919
Woody!
217
00:09:47,854 --> 00:09:48,953
Woody!
218
00:09:49,021 --> 00:09:49,788
Woody!
219
00:09:49,823 --> 00:09:50,755
Woody!
220
00:09:50,824 --> 00:09:53,224
Woody!
221
00:09:53,293 --> 00:09:54,759
Dwight: She knows
it's just a show, right?
222
00:09:54,694 --> 00:09:56,293
Highlander Mascot: Oh, hi buddy,
223
00:09:56,363 --> 00:09:58,596
I don't know whether
to hug you or to
224
00:09:58,532 --> 00:09:59,697
[thwap]
225
00:09:59,765 --> 00:10:00,698
[thud]
226
00:10:00,766 --> 00:10:08,506
[cheering]
227
00:10:08,575 --> 00:10:11,209
- Siri, text Jake an apology.
228
00:10:11,277 --> 00:10:16,680
Siri: Apologizing to Jake.
229
00:10:16,750 --> 00:10:17,781
Highlander Mascot:
What the heck was that, man?
230
00:10:17,651 --> 00:10:18,315
That's not what we rehearsed.
231
00:10:18,385 --> 00:10:19,384
[thwap]
232
00:10:19,452 --> 00:10:23,588
[cheering]
233
00:10:23,656 --> 00:10:38,503
Baldric: Nice!
234
00:10:38,571 --> 00:10:39,370
Baldric: Nice!
235
00:10:39,439 --> 00:10:44,642
[horn sounds]
236
00:10:44,711 --> 00:10:46,878
[horn sounds again]
237
00:10:46,913 --> 00:10:48,446
Highlander: [growls]
238
00:10:48,382 --> 00:10:49,514
Gretta: But how was I to know
it was for show?
239
00:10:49,582 --> 00:10:51,782
Dwight: Because this is
the non-insane century.
240
00:10:51,852 --> 00:10:52,750
Remember?
241
00:10:52,819 --> 00:10:53,551
Nice turf?
242
00:10:53,620 --> 00:10:54,886
We don't have death matches
243
00:10:54,954 --> 00:10:57,155
at basketball games!
244
00:10:57,223 --> 00:10:59,023
Baldric: Still,
impressive show of force.
245
00:10:59,091 --> 00:11:00,624
Gretta: Thank you.
246
00:11:00,694 --> 00:11:02,193
Baldric: I am so exhilarated.
247
00:11:02,262 --> 00:11:03,527
What's next?
248
00:11:03,597 --> 00:11:04,728
It's as though I'm back
249
00:11:04,798 --> 00:11:07,932
at the mage versus wizard
battle of 986.
250
00:11:08,001 --> 00:11:08,333
Hm?
251
00:11:08,401 --> 00:11:09,533
[laughing]
252
00:11:09,603 --> 00:11:11,302
- I have
to announce the game.
253
00:11:11,371 --> 00:11:13,571
You have to cheer and watch.
254
00:11:13,606 --> 00:11:16,941
Excuse me.
255
00:11:16,877 --> 00:11:18,076
[thud]
256
00:11:18,144 --> 00:11:22,247
[choking for air]
257
00:11:22,315 --> 00:11:24,416
Gretta: Powerful weapon indeed.
258
00:11:24,484 --> 00:11:26,051
Baldric: An orb of havoc.
259
00:11:26,119 --> 00:11:27,518
I've heard of them,
260
00:11:27,587 --> 00:11:30,521
though I've never seen one
with my own eyes.
261
00:11:34,394 --> 00:11:35,527
- I need a minute.all.
262
00:11:35,462 --> 00:11:38,663
[buzzer]
263
00:11:38,731 --> 00:11:40,899
Wait, wait,
I'm supposed to announce the...
264
00:11:40,967 --> 00:11:42,767
Baldric: Leave it to me,
Sir Dwight.
265
00:11:42,835 --> 00:11:46,036
Dwight: Wait, no, no, no.
266
00:11:46,106 --> 00:11:46,838
Baldric: You may recall
Sir Dwight,
267
00:11:46,906 --> 00:11:48,540
that I recently served
268
00:11:48,608 --> 00:11:50,708
as Grand Marshall
for the three-legged race.
269
00:11:50,777 --> 00:11:51,742
Never fear, Sir Dwight.
270
00:11:51,811 --> 00:11:52,309
[slap]
271
00:11:52,379 --> 00:11:53,577
Dwight: Ow.
272
00:11:53,647 --> 00:11:55,647
Baldric: I've got this
on lock up!
273
00:11:55,582 --> 00:11:57,415
Dwight: Lock down.
274
00:11:57,450 --> 00:12:04,188
- Yes.
275
00:12:04,257 --> 00:12:06,725
[clears throat]
276
00:12:06,793 --> 00:12:09,694
Hear ye, peasant youth!
277
00:12:09,763 --> 00:12:14,132
It is my great honor to welcome
you to this contest
278
00:12:14,167 --> 00:12:16,801
between the valorous
Woodchucks of Woodside!
279
00:12:16,869 --> 00:12:24,509
[cheering]
280
00:12:24,577 --> 00:12:26,010
And the heinous
281
00:12:26,079 --> 00:12:27,178
[mic feedback]
282
00:12:27,247 --> 00:12:29,747
Highlanders of Lakeview!
283
00:12:29,683 --> 00:12:31,349
[booing]
284
00:12:31,417 --> 00:12:45,830
♪
285
00:12:45,899 --> 00:12:49,167
The blue knight prepares
to unleash the orb of havoc
286
00:12:49,102 --> 00:12:50,434
on the red knights.
287
00:12:50,504 --> 00:12:51,569
What's this?
288
00:12:51,505 --> 00:12:53,538
The red knights have thrown
their hands up in the air
289
00:12:53,473 --> 00:12:54,338
in surrender!
290
00:12:54,407 --> 00:12:55,139
Huzzah!
291
00:12:55,208 --> 00:12:56,441
The battle is won!
292
00:12:56,509 --> 00:12:58,409
[Baldric laughs] Wait!
293
00:12:58,478 --> 00:13:01,979
The merciless blue knight
releases the orb of havoc
294
00:13:02,048 --> 00:13:04,615
and it goes straight
into a fish net,
295
00:13:04,684 --> 00:13:05,950
a broken fish net.
296
00:13:05,886 --> 00:13:09,821
Oh, what a disastrous failure.
297
00:13:09,889 --> 00:13:12,390
What folly is this?
298
00:13:12,458 --> 00:13:14,726
Blue knight flings the orb
of havoc
299
00:13:14,661 --> 00:13:16,127
at one of his fellow knights,
300
00:13:16,196 --> 00:13:24,034
who flings it
at another blue knight.
301
00:13:24,104 --> 00:13:27,205
And again through
the broken fish net.
302
00:13:27,273 --> 00:13:31,509
[horn sounds]
303
00:13:31,578 --> 00:13:32,844
[horn sounds]
304
00:13:38,451 --> 00:13:42,420
[horn sounds]
305
00:13:42,488 --> 00:13:45,623
[buzzer]
306
00:13:45,691 --> 00:13:49,294
Baldric: Both sides sound
a retreat. Huh.
307
00:13:49,229 --> 00:13:51,563
Appalling.
308
00:13:51,498 --> 00:13:53,497
- Can you please tell
Baldric it is not a retreat,
309
00:13:53,567 --> 00:13:55,133
it's just half-time.
310
00:13:55,168 --> 00:13:59,070
[pained groan]
311
00:13:59,138 --> 00:14:01,305
Gretta: You have taken a turn
for the worse.
312
00:14:01,374 --> 00:14:05,210
Dwight: I just need my bed.
313
00:14:05,278 --> 00:14:07,178
Gretta: Your dear ones should be
at your side.
314
00:14:07,247 --> 00:14:11,816
Dwight: What?
315
00:14:11,885 --> 00:14:14,285
- Go hence
and beckon Nana.
316
00:14:14,354 --> 00:14:16,154
- You have to say
call Nana.
317
00:14:16,222 --> 00:14:17,188
Siri: Beckoning Nana.
318
00:14:17,257 --> 00:14:18,489
[phone rings]
319
00:14:18,557 --> 00:14:19,657
Nana: Hey Gretta!
320
00:14:19,725 --> 00:14:20,524
What's the score?
321
00:14:20,594 --> 00:14:20,925
- Nana!
322
00:14:20,994 --> 00:14:22,360
Come quick!
323
00:14:22,362 --> 00:14:24,295
Sir Dwight is not long
for this earth.
324
00:14:24,364 --> 00:14:26,630
Dwight: No, no, I'm still long,
Nana.
325
00:14:26,700 --> 00:14:28,867
I, I'm just a little
under the weather.
326
00:14:28,935 --> 00:14:30,668
- I'm afraid
these are his final hours.
327
00:14:30,737 --> 00:14:32,303
- Not as serious
as all that.
328
00:14:32,371 --> 00:14:34,772
- His soul all
but flutters over our heads!
329
00:14:34,841 --> 00:14:36,874
- My soul's
not fluttering anywhere.
330
00:14:36,943 --> 00:14:38,242
Nana: Oh, dear, dear, dear.
331
00:14:38,311 --> 00:14:41,346
I'll be there in a jiffy.
332
00:14:41,281 --> 00:14:41,880
- Ah, geez.
333
00:14:41,915 --> 00:14:49,387
Gretta: [wailing]
334
00:14:49,456 --> 00:14:50,989
- What are you doing?
335
00:14:51,057 --> 00:14:53,057
- Wailing in lamentation.
336
00:14:53,126 --> 00:14:53,725
- Doing the what
in the what?
337
00:14:53,793 --> 00:14:57,128
Gretta: [wailing even louder]
338
00:14:57,197 --> 00:14:58,996
- Have the lamentations begun?
339
00:14:59,065 --> 00:15:01,366
Gretta: Baldric!
340
00:15:01,434 --> 00:15:06,871
Baldric: [begins wailing]
341
00:15:06,807 --> 00:15:13,144
[wailing over the PA system]
342
00:15:13,080 --> 00:15:13,678
Dwight: Stop!
343
00:15:13,746 --> 00:15:14,078
Stop, stop, stop.
344
00:15:14,147 --> 00:15:14,912
Please--
345
00:15:14,981 --> 00:15:15,513
[wailing continues]
346
00:15:15,582 --> 00:15:19,818
Dwight: Please, stop.
347
00:15:19,886 --> 00:15:22,720
[rock music]
348
00:15:22,589 --> 00:15:23,988
Dwight: The half time show
is starting.
349
00:15:24,057 --> 00:15:25,790
- I must hurry
to the privy then.
350
00:15:25,859 --> 00:15:27,458
The contest will resume shortly
351
00:15:27,527 --> 00:15:29,193
and I've had three flagons
of orange soda.
352
00:15:29,262 --> 00:15:30,061
Look out!
353
00:15:30,130 --> 00:15:31,729
Coming through!
354
00:15:31,598 --> 00:15:34,332
Hurry, hurry!
355
00:15:34,400 --> 00:15:36,000
Dwight: Woody does not miss
half time.
356
00:15:36,069 --> 00:15:36,968
We are winning by nine.
357
00:15:36,903 --> 00:15:40,238
Bring us home, Gretta.
358
00:15:40,306 --> 00:15:43,942
Gretta: Is this your dying wish?
359
00:15:44,010 --> 00:15:51,382
Dwight: Absolutely.
360
00:15:51,451 --> 00:15:54,518
Gretta: [wails]
361
00:15:54,588 --> 00:16:03,294
[horn sounds]
362
00:16:03,363 --> 00:16:05,496
Baldric: [over PA system]
I feel so much relieved.
363
00:16:05,565 --> 00:16:13,104
[rock music]
364
00:16:13,172 --> 00:16:17,142
- And the Woodchuck
has laid down the gauntlet,
365
00:16:17,210 --> 00:16:27,084
but will the Highlander
accept the challenge?
366
00:16:27,154 --> 00:16:34,659
Highlander mascot: [screaming]
367
00:16:34,727 --> 00:16:36,361
- [chuckles]
368
00:16:36,429 --> 00:16:44,802
- You're too crazy!
369
00:16:44,871 --> 00:16:45,637
Baldric: He will not.
370
00:16:45,572 --> 00:16:54,446
He will not. Ha.
371
00:16:54,514 --> 00:16:56,114
[door slams open]
372
00:16:56,049 --> 00:16:58,182
Higlander: I accept
your challenge.
373
00:16:58,251 --> 00:16:59,917
Filthy dogs!
374
00:16:59,986 --> 00:17:03,921
[ominous music]
375
00:17:03,990 --> 00:17:04,956
[ax clinks]
376
00:17:05,024 --> 00:17:09,226
[cheering]
377
00:17:09,296 --> 00:17:11,429
- Oh.
378
00:17:11,497 --> 00:17:15,733
- [nervously]
'Tis only for show.
379
00:17:15,802 --> 00:17:18,603
Baldric: Finally
a worthy challenger. Hm?
380
00:17:18,671 --> 00:17:23,841
[chuckles] Yah!
381
00:17:23,910 --> 00:17:28,679
Ha, ha, ha, ha!
382
00:17:28,748 --> 00:17:35,954
The Woodchuck strikes first.
383
00:17:35,889 --> 00:17:36,487
Highlander: Ha!
384
00:17:36,356 --> 00:17:38,056
[thump]
385
00:17:37,991 --> 00:17:41,459
Baldric: Oh, the Woodchuck
has been beheaded!
386
00:17:41,528 --> 00:17:49,934
Ha, ha, ha.
387
00:17:49,870 --> 00:17:53,204
The Woodchuck miraculously
recapitates
388
00:17:53,272 --> 00:17:55,506
and attempts a counter assault.
389
00:17:55,575 --> 00:17:56,807
[thump]
390
00:17:56,877 --> 00:18:02,346
- Boom goes
the Woodchuck!
391
00:18:02,415 --> 00:18:03,648
Highlander: [chuckles]
392
00:18:03,716 --> 00:18:07,752
Now you've made me angry,
wee beastie.
393
00:18:07,820 --> 00:18:08,853
- They're growing
their seniors big
394
00:18:08,922 --> 00:18:10,121
at Lakeview this year.
395
00:18:10,189 --> 00:18:11,055
[thump]
396
00:18:11,124 --> 00:18:11,856
Highlander: Oh!
397
00:18:11,925 --> 00:18:13,758
- Another blow
for the Woodchuck.
398
00:18:13,826 --> 00:18:14,625
- And hairy.
399
00:18:14,694 --> 00:18:15,460
Highlander: [roars]
400
00:18:15,495 --> 00:18:16,360
[ax thuds]
401
00:18:16,429 --> 00:18:31,242
[grunts and thuds]
402
00:18:31,311 --> 00:18:33,511
[grunts and thuds]
403
00:18:33,580 --> 00:18:37,448
Baldric: The big brute counters
with a backwards head twist.
404
00:18:37,517 --> 00:18:39,350
Highlander: [Scottish accent]
You squirrelly thief.
405
00:18:39,419 --> 00:18:41,218
Return me what you've stolen.
406
00:18:41,288 --> 00:18:42,587
- Stolen?
407
00:18:42,655 --> 00:18:44,422
Highlander: The honor
of Strathclyde!
408
00:18:44,491 --> 00:18:45,957
[thump]
409
00:18:45,892 --> 00:18:46,357
[inaudible]
410
00:18:46,293 --> 00:18:52,230
[horn blows]
411
00:18:52,298 --> 00:18:52,830
Baldric: Did he say--
412
00:18:52,899 --> 00:18:55,366
Gretta: Strathclyde.
413
00:18:55,435 --> 00:18:56,834
This is no show.
414
00:18:56,903 --> 00:19:00,237
Baldric: A warrior
from Strathclyde, here?
415
00:19:00,307 --> 00:19:02,674
Run, you peasant half-wits!
416
00:19:02,742 --> 00:19:04,008
Save yourself!
417
00:19:04,077 --> 00:19:06,277
[cheering]
418
00:19:06,312 --> 00:19:07,244
- What does he want?
419
00:19:07,314 --> 00:19:08,913
Baldric: We must find out.
420
00:19:08,981 --> 00:19:10,481
Speak to him, Your Highness.
421
00:19:10,550 --> 00:19:11,849
In his own tongue.
422
00:19:11,918 --> 00:19:20,291
[cheering]
423
00:19:20,360 --> 00:19:22,726
Highlander: [roars]
424
00:19:22,796 --> 00:19:23,794
Gretta: [Scottish accent]
Are ye from Strathclyde,
425
00:19:23,864 --> 00:19:24,763
noble highlander?
426
00:19:24,831 --> 00:19:26,731
- Aye,
427
00:19:26,666 --> 00:19:29,434
and my father
and his father before.
428
00:19:29,502 --> 00:19:33,238
I will avenge the wrong
you've done our honor.
429
00:19:33,173 --> 00:19:34,839
- When did they have
time to choreograph this?
430
00:19:34,908 --> 00:19:36,707
Gretta: [Scottish accent]
None here would dishonor ye,
431
00:19:36,776 --> 00:19:37,876
nor your kinfolk.
432
00:19:37,944 --> 00:19:41,378
- You have stolen
the sacred horn of Strathclyde.
433
00:19:41,448 --> 00:19:44,048
[horn sounds]
434
00:19:44,117 --> 00:19:46,050
- You pilfering rascal!
435
00:19:46,119 --> 00:19:48,552
I'll have your guts
for garters.
436
00:19:48,622 --> 00:19:50,654
[roaring]
437
00:19:50,724 --> 00:19:53,924
- [weak laugh]
438
00:19:53,994 --> 00:19:55,326
Hey! Hey Gretta!
439
00:19:55,394 --> 00:19:58,896
I think you guys are taking this
a little bit too far.
440
00:19:58,965 --> 00:20:00,197
Gretta: The horn!
441
00:20:00,100 --> 00:20:00,931
- What?
442
00:20:01,001 --> 00:20:02,399
Gretta: Get the horn!
443
00:20:02,469 --> 00:20:04,401
Baldric: Hurry Sir Dwight!
444
00:20:04,471 --> 00:20:06,504
Or he'll have all of our guts
for garters!
445
00:20:06,573 --> 00:20:07,739
- What does that even mean?
446
00:20:07,807 --> 00:20:09,607
[horn sounds]
447
00:20:09,676 --> 00:20:12,010
- This is not for show!
448
00:20:12,078 --> 00:20:14,145
[roaring continues]
449
00:20:14,214 --> 00:20:15,613
- Hurry!
450
00:20:15,682 --> 00:20:24,556
[cheering]
451
00:20:24,624 --> 00:20:30,595
[horn sounds]
452
00:20:30,663 --> 00:20:32,730
Boy 2: [distorted] Hey Dwight!
453
00:20:32,799 --> 00:20:34,832
Ha, ha, ha, ha.
454
00:20:34,901 --> 00:20:41,306
Woo!
455
00:20:41,374 --> 00:20:42,039
[thud]
456
00:20:42,108 --> 00:20:46,644
- Princess!
457
00:20:46,580 --> 00:20:53,350
Dwight: [whispering]
Get the horn.
458
00:20:53,420 --> 00:20:56,788
[horn sounds]
459
00:20:56,723 --> 00:21:03,828
Dwight: Gretta!
460
00:21:03,897 --> 00:21:05,964
Highlander: [roars]
461
00:21:05,899 --> 00:21:08,099
♪
462
00:21:08,167 --> 00:21:09,133
Highlander: [exhales]
463
00:21:09,202 --> 00:21:11,269
Dwight: [exhales]
464
00:21:11,337 --> 00:21:24,315
[crowd murmuring]
465
00:21:24,384 --> 00:21:25,917
Gretta: [Scottish accent]
I return this horn
466
00:21:25,985 --> 00:21:28,386
of Strathclyde
to its rightful owner,
467
00:21:28,454 --> 00:21:34,125
and offer ye the Woodchuck's
deepest apologies.
468
00:21:34,061 --> 00:21:38,762
Highlander: I accept your
apology, ya wee beastie.
469
00:21:38,832 --> 00:21:41,900
[crowd cheers]
470
00:21:41,835 --> 00:21:48,005
Dwight: [laughs then gags]
471
00:21:48,074 --> 00:21:51,709
[horn sounds]
472
00:21:51,778 --> 00:21:57,081
Highlander: Oh, let's get you
home now where ya belong,
473
00:21:57,150 --> 00:22:03,488
ya wee troublemaker.
474
00:22:03,556 --> 00:22:06,090
Baldric: Long live
the Woodchuck!
475
00:22:06,159 --> 00:22:08,660
Huzzah!
476
00:22:08,595 --> 00:22:17,001
[cheering]
477
00:22:16,937 --> 00:22:21,639
Dwight: [sounds of suffering]
478
00:22:21,707 --> 00:22:22,807
Gretta: You're sure
it's not the plague?
479
00:22:22,876 --> 00:22:24,008
Dwight: Yeah.
480
00:22:24,077 --> 00:22:24,809
Gretta: Or the scourge?
481
00:22:24,745 --> 00:22:25,676
Dwight: Mm-hm.
482
00:22:25,745 --> 00:22:27,044
Gretta: Or the pestilence?
483
00:22:27,113 --> 00:22:29,514
Dwight: Just regular old
food poisoning.
484
00:22:29,582 --> 00:22:31,182
Gretta: Well, then
there's no time to waste.
485
00:22:31,250 --> 00:22:33,184
You must swallow
a piece of charcoal.
486
00:22:33,252 --> 00:22:34,953
Dwight: Why would I do that?
487
00:22:35,021 --> 00:22:37,155
Gretta: It will absorb the
poison from your stomach.
488
00:22:37,223 --> 00:22:37,756
Dwight: Oh.
489
00:22:37,824 --> 00:22:40,057
[laughs weakly]
490
00:22:40,126 --> 00:22:41,792
How did anybody survive
the middle ages?
491
00:22:41,862 --> 00:22:44,562
Baldric: Would someone please
clear the battlefield
492
00:22:44,498 --> 00:22:46,197
of fishnets?
493
00:22:46,265 --> 00:22:47,832
[cheering]
494
00:22:47,900 --> 00:22:49,267
Dwight: Sounds like
two more points for us.
495
00:22:49,335 --> 00:22:51,469
[door opens]
496
00:22:51,538 --> 00:22:55,473
Gretta: Our victory is assured
and our honor is maintained
497
00:22:55,409 --> 00:22:57,542
thanks to the Woodchuck.
498
00:22:57,610 --> 00:22:58,810
Dwight: Thanks to you.
499
00:22:58,878 --> 00:22:59,910
Really.
500
00:22:59,980 --> 00:23:03,348
You guys came through
for me today when I needed it.
501
00:23:03,416 --> 00:23:05,483
- It was our privilege
Sir Dwight.
502
00:23:05,552 --> 00:23:07,318
After all the times
you've come to our aid.
503
00:23:07,387 --> 00:23:09,387
[car door opens and shuts]
504
00:23:09,455 --> 00:23:11,589
Nana: There you are pumpkin!
505
00:23:11,458 --> 00:23:13,625
Dwight, you look awful.
506
00:23:13,560 --> 00:23:16,294
Dwight: I, I just,
I just need...
507
00:23:16,329 --> 00:23:17,996
- Aw.
508
00:23:17,931 --> 00:23:20,298
Dwight: That.
509
00:23:20,366 --> 00:23:22,800
I needed that.
510
00:23:22,736 --> 00:23:24,836
Nana: You know what else
you need?
511
00:23:24,771 --> 00:23:26,738
Some chicken noodle soup.
512
00:23:26,806 --> 00:23:27,538
- Thank you.
513
00:23:27,607 --> 00:23:30,708
- Oh.
514
00:23:30,777 --> 00:23:32,409
- I am being summoned.
515
00:23:32,479 --> 00:23:34,212
Dwight: After that show,
516
00:23:34,147 --> 00:23:35,446
I'm not sure what you can do
for an encore.
517
00:23:35,514 --> 00:23:38,583
- I still have
a few more moves.
518
00:23:38,518 --> 00:23:40,217
Dwight: Go get 'em, Woody.
519
00:23:40,287 --> 00:23:40,752
[gags]
520
00:23:40,820 --> 00:23:41,653
Nana: Oh my!
521
00:23:41,721 --> 00:23:43,188
Dwight: Sorry, sorry.
522
00:23:43,123 --> 00:23:46,323
Nana: [stammering]
Not in the car.
523
00:23:46,393 --> 00:23:48,893
Baldric: Long live
the Woodchuck!
524
00:23:48,961 --> 00:23:49,894
Ha, ha!
525
00:23:49,963 --> 00:24:20,341
♪
526
00:24:20,391 --> 00:24:24,941
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