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1
00:00:01,212 --> 00:00:03,136
- Will you be my maid of honor?
- Yeah.
2
00:00:03,203 --> 00:00:04,938
Whoo!
3
00:00:05,005 --> 00:00:06,440
It's Mad Amber.
4
00:00:06,507 --> 00:00:09,075
After eight tries as MOH,
I'm actually so relieved
5
00:00:09,142 --> 00:00:11,845
to just be a bridesmaid
this time.
6
00:00:11,912 --> 00:00:14,748
You could be digging these up
on the Isle of Wight.
7
00:00:14,814 --> 00:00:16,349
You should apply.
8
00:00:20,154 --> 00:00:21,421
I mean, it's a big day,
isn't it?
9
00:00:21,488 --> 00:00:23,257
- Yeah, as I have a date...
- Dress fitting!
10
00:00:23,323 --> 00:00:25,526
- No, I have a date.
- No, you have a dress fitting.
11
00:00:25,593 --> 00:00:26,960
I can do both.
12
00:00:27,027 --> 00:00:28,762
Oh, sh...oh, sorry.
13
00:00:28,829 --> 00:00:32,099
Must be quite a stimulating
space for you, Nina.
14
00:00:32,165 --> 00:00:33,868
Fuck!
15
00:00:33,934 --> 00:00:35,202
I'm sorry about today.
16
00:00:35,269 --> 00:00:37,004
I'm really sorry too.
17
00:00:37,071 --> 00:00:39,440
- Night, Nina.
- Night, Evie.
18
00:00:39,506 --> 00:00:42,576
Night, Neen-meister.
19
00:00:42,643 --> 00:00:46,914
Save it for the second date.
20
00:00:46,980 --> 00:00:48,982
Is there a second date?
21
00:00:49,049 --> 00:00:50,517
If you have the time.
22
00:00:54,521 --> 00:00:56,590
Look, Nina,
I know that Amber and Mum
23
00:00:56,657 --> 00:00:58,091
really grind your gears,
24
00:00:58,158 --> 00:01:00,961
but this is my last weekend
of freedom.
25
00:01:01,028 --> 00:01:02,530
There'll be no drama.
No.
26
00:01:02,596 --> 00:01:05,165
Just all my favorite people
in my favorite place,
27
00:01:05,232 --> 00:01:06,767
getting fucked up
away from Glasgow,
28
00:01:06,834 --> 00:01:09,436
creating hilarious stories
that I'm gonna tell forever.
29
00:01:09,503 --> 00:01:11,438
I've tried my best
to plan you
30
00:01:11,505 --> 00:01:13,306
a lovely hen do away
in Rothesay,
31
00:01:13,373 --> 00:01:15,276
but please do keep in mind, Evie,
32
00:01:15,342 --> 00:01:16,843
it is still Rothesay.
33
00:01:16,910 --> 00:01:18,445
Yeah.
34
00:01:18,512 --> 00:01:20,714
But it's the sort of place
where we can really go wild.
35
00:01:20,781 --> 00:01:22,949
- Girls!
- Ah!
36
00:01:23,016 --> 00:01:24,952
Hello!
37
00:01:25,018 --> 00:01:26,820
Oh, Evie.
38
00:01:26,887 --> 00:01:29,856
The last weekend of freedom
with all our girls.
39
00:01:31,458 --> 00:01:33,426
So who are we
still waiting on?
40
00:01:33,493 --> 00:01:34,861
Amber and Mum were
the only two people
41
00:01:34,928 --> 00:01:36,497
that paid the deposit on time.
42
00:01:36,563 --> 00:01:38,565
Oh.
It's fine.
43
00:01:38,632 --> 00:01:39,900
This is all we need.
44
00:01:39,966 --> 00:01:41,201
This is all we need.
45
00:01:44,238 --> 00:01:50,111
♪ ♪
46
00:01:57,083 --> 00:02:00,520
Who doesn't let the girl
be Rose on their own hen party?
47
00:02:00,587 --> 00:02:03,924
My heart will go on
for you, Evie.
48
00:02:03,991 --> 00:02:05,292
Oh, my God.
49
00:02:05,358 --> 00:02:06,793
Oh, my God, that's it.
50
00:02:06,860 --> 00:02:08,095
That's Rothesay, isn't it?
51
00:02:08,162 --> 00:02:10,898
Oh, let's get fucked up!
52
00:02:17,772 --> 00:02:19,774
Nina, get in here!
53
00:02:20,974 --> 00:02:22,509
Oggy, Oggy, Oggy!
54
00:02:22,576 --> 00:02:23,977
Oi, oi, oi!
55
00:02:24,044 --> 00:02:25,713
Oh, this is all we need!
56
00:02:25,779 --> 00:02:29,182
This is all we need!
57
00:02:29,249 --> 00:02:35,456
♪ ♪
58
00:02:42,996 --> 00:02:44,898
It's exactly the same!
59
00:02:44,965 --> 00:02:46,666
It's exactly the same.
60
00:02:46,733 --> 00:02:50,070
And this island has no idea
what's coming to it.
61
00:02:51,639 --> 00:02:53,073
Should we ask him
for information?
62
00:02:53,139 --> 00:02:54,574
If you want to get groped.
63
00:02:54,641 --> 00:02:56,043
Is that absinthe?
64
00:02:56,110 --> 00:02:57,277
Nina, look.
65
00:02:57,344 --> 00:02:59,479
You used to love
those Victorian toilets.
66
00:02:59,546 --> 00:03:02,283
Used to say, "I can't believe
I'm sitting on history."
67
00:03:02,349 --> 00:03:04,050
Shitting on history.
68
00:03:04,117 --> 00:03:05,385
I didn't have the heart
to tell you
69
00:03:05,452 --> 00:03:07,922
they were renovated
in the '90s.
70
00:03:07,988 --> 00:03:10,791
So, Nina, where to first?
71
00:03:10,857 --> 00:03:13,059
Oh, just you wait and see.
72
00:03:14,828 --> 00:03:16,463
To the sesh!
73
00:03:19,500 --> 00:03:21,902
Oh, I'll get the bags then.
74
00:03:24,972 --> 00:03:25,973
♪ ♪
75
00:03:26,039 --> 00:03:27,541
Nice bags, darling.
76
00:03:27,607 --> 00:03:30,577
Thank you for the help,
you pervert.
77
00:03:30,644 --> 00:03:34,080
♪ ♪
78
00:03:34,147 --> 00:03:37,551
Welcome to mini golf
with a twist.
79
00:03:37,618 --> 00:03:42,323
Each hole represents one
of your many, many, many exes,
80
00:03:42,389 --> 00:03:44,357
with the final hole being...
81
00:03:44,424 --> 00:03:45,693
The ultimate hole
82
00:03:45,759 --> 00:03:48,695
of your gorgeous
future husband, Ranesh.
83
00:03:48,762 --> 00:03:50,097
Wow!
84
00:03:50,163 --> 00:03:52,299
What an amazing shock.
85
00:03:52,366 --> 00:03:54,401
Look at all
my failed relationships.
86
00:03:54,468 --> 00:03:57,737
Nina, you did so well
to plan this all by yourself.
87
00:03:58,772 --> 00:04:01,408
I still get sweet texts
from that one.
88
00:04:02,742 --> 00:04:04,144
Mum, he's a scammer.
89
00:04:04,211 --> 00:04:05,912
I bought his bitcoins.
90
00:04:05,979 --> 00:04:10,684
♪ ♪
91
00:04:12,152 --> 00:04:13,520
She was a bawbag.
92
00:04:13,587 --> 00:04:16,122
She never laughed at my jokes,
and I'm funny.
93
00:04:16,189 --> 00:04:17,824
She never deserved you, Evie.
94
00:04:19,926 --> 00:04:22,630
Now Evie's on
to the last hole.
95
00:04:22,696 --> 00:04:24,798
Whoo-hoo!
96
00:04:24,865 --> 00:04:26,499
Evie, isn't it crazy?
97
00:04:26,566 --> 00:04:29,536
Everywhere you go,
Ranesh will be there.
98
00:04:29,603 --> 00:04:30,871
You wake up, he's there.
99
00:04:30,938 --> 00:04:32,773
You go to bed, he's there.
100
00:04:32,839 --> 00:04:33,974
Just him.
101
00:04:34,040 --> 00:04:36,943
Always and forever.
102
00:04:37,010 --> 00:04:39,646
You're the luckiest girl
in the world.
103
00:04:39,713 --> 00:04:40,914
Manifest it, babe.
104
00:04:40,981 --> 00:04:42,449
Put your ball
in his hole, Evie.
105
00:04:42,515 --> 00:04:44,651
Visualize walking
down the aisle.
106
00:04:44,718 --> 00:04:45,952
Ranesh forevs.
107
00:04:46,019 --> 00:04:48,588
You have to really
want this, Evie!
108
00:04:51,124 --> 00:04:52,626
Aww.
109
00:04:52,693 --> 00:04:54,227
Not to worry, darling.
110
00:04:54,294 --> 00:04:57,631
Yeah, Ranesh is really hard.
111
00:04:57,698 --> 00:04:58,999
Right.
112
00:04:59,066 --> 00:05:00,701
Nina, where to next?
113
00:05:00,768 --> 00:05:02,036
Beach, then B&B.
114
00:05:02,103 --> 00:05:03,070
Whoo-hoo!
115
00:05:03,136 --> 00:05:04,204
Ooh!
116
00:05:04,271 --> 00:05:07,441
♪ ♪
117
00:05:07,508 --> 00:05:09,910
Suitcases!
118
00:05:09,977 --> 00:05:11,411
Shite-hawks.
119
00:05:17,584 --> 00:05:18,752
Come and join me, girls!
120
00:05:18,818 --> 00:05:20,654
It's really not cold at all!
121
00:05:20,721 --> 00:05:23,190
Yeah, just putting on
sun cream!
122
00:05:23,257 --> 00:05:24,792
Whoo!
123
00:05:24,858 --> 00:05:26,627
God, that's depressing.
124
00:05:26,694 --> 00:05:29,262
Nina, when's it all
gonna kick off?
125
00:05:29,329 --> 00:05:30,363
Been here
for, like, three hours
126
00:05:30,430 --> 00:05:32,599
and we've not had any...
127
00:05:32,666 --> 00:05:33,934
You said you wanted
to come to the beach,
128
00:05:34,001 --> 00:05:35,502
so I brought you to the beach.
129
00:05:35,569 --> 00:05:37,438
I've got this scheduled
for another two hours.
130
00:05:37,505 --> 00:05:40,640
Look, no offense intended
in the slightest, Nina...
131
00:05:40,707 --> 00:05:42,943
this sesh is worse
than my granddad's funeral.
132
00:05:43,009 --> 00:05:44,444
And he fell out the coffin.
133
00:05:44,511 --> 00:05:46,747
This is Evie's final chance
to get fucked up
134
00:05:46,813 --> 00:05:49,617
before she's chained
to the beautiful ball and chain
135
00:05:49,683 --> 00:05:50,751
that is Ranesh.
136
00:05:50,817 --> 00:05:54,121
And we need to make
the most of it.
137
00:05:54,188 --> 00:05:55,656
God, he's great.
138
00:05:55,723 --> 00:05:58,158
Amber, can you stop
with the Ranesh praising?
139
00:05:58,224 --> 00:06:01,128
My point is,
this has to be the send-off
140
00:06:01,195 --> 00:06:03,263
that Evie deserves.
141
00:06:03,330 --> 00:06:05,932
We're gonna need something
stronger than absinthe.
142
00:06:05,999 --> 00:06:08,736
I'm freezing
my tits off, but I feel alive!
143
00:06:08,802 --> 00:06:12,672
I'm talking about...
Drugs.
144
00:06:12,739 --> 00:06:15,776
Oh, my God, yeah. Please.
145
00:06:15,843 --> 00:06:17,310
How the hell are we getting
drugs in Rothesay?
146
00:06:17,377 --> 00:06:19,546
Yeah, good point.
147
00:06:19,613 --> 00:06:22,248
OK, Nina, you look after Mum.
148
00:06:22,315 --> 00:06:24,551
- We're gonna go find some drugs.
- Eh, eh, eh.
149
00:06:24,618 --> 00:06:26,253
Why do you assume
that I don't know
150
00:06:26,320 --> 00:06:28,989
how to get that kind of stuff?
151
00:06:29,056 --> 00:06:30,424
I know that Mum treats me
like a toddler,
152
00:06:30,491 --> 00:06:32,860
but I know
how to procure drugs.
153
00:06:32,927 --> 00:06:34,695
- Oh, do you now?
- Yes, I do.
154
00:06:34,761 --> 00:06:36,029
Come in, girls!
155
00:06:36,096 --> 00:06:38,766
Oh, I'm gonna go
phone my drug friend
156
00:06:38,832 --> 00:06:40,767
who knows about drugs.
157
00:06:40,834 --> 00:06:42,803
She's so full of surprises.
158
00:06:42,870 --> 00:06:44,771
Who knew?
159
00:06:46,606 --> 00:06:48,742
- I'm serious, Bo.
- I'm sorry.
160
00:06:48,809 --> 00:06:51,645
I'm just picturing you
holed up on a cocaine farm
161
00:06:51,711 --> 00:06:54,781
with two guns in your pants
and a dead hooker in the boot.
162
00:06:56,583 --> 00:06:57,984
What do you want drugs for, anyway?
163
00:06:58,051 --> 00:06:59,686
Can you help me or can't you?
164
00:06:59,753 --> 00:07:02,122
You know, my days of uppers
are behind me, Nina.
165
00:07:02,189 --> 00:07:03,357
Are you not
in Ranesh's stag do?
166
00:07:03,423 --> 00:07:05,325
Does he not have any?
167
00:07:05,392 --> 00:07:07,027
He refuses to call it a stag
168
00:07:07,093 --> 00:07:08,962
'cause of the patriarchal associations.
169
00:07:09,029 --> 00:07:10,998
Hang on.
170
00:07:11,065 --> 00:07:13,633
I will activate my blue tit
171
00:07:13,700 --> 00:07:16,336
and gain one worm
and two wheat,
172
00:07:16,403 --> 00:07:19,740
and... I've done it.
173
00:07:19,807 --> 00:07:21,475
I've diversified the wetlands.
174
00:07:21,541 --> 00:07:23,410
Yes!
175
00:07:23,477 --> 00:07:25,178
I knew I would.
I knew I would.
176
00:07:25,245 --> 00:07:26,613
Yeah, there's no drugs here.
177
00:07:26,680 --> 00:07:28,282
Can you have, like,
a wee scramble about,
178
00:07:28,349 --> 00:07:30,183
see if you can find some,
and then bring them to me?
179
00:07:30,250 --> 00:07:31,618
Afraid not.
180
00:07:31,685 --> 00:07:33,019
I'm actually not allowed
to set foot in Rothesay
181
00:07:33,086 --> 00:07:35,255
after I punched that swan.
182
00:07:35,322 --> 00:07:37,390
Nina, you're from Glasgow.
183
00:07:37,457 --> 00:07:39,393
Even you will know someone
that knows someone.
184
00:07:39,460 --> 00:07:41,094
Just think about
the coolest person you know,
185
00:07:41,161 --> 00:07:42,729
someone that works
a minimum wage job
186
00:07:42,796 --> 00:07:44,598
but never seems to be
worried about money.
187
00:07:44,665 --> 00:07:47,301
That guy is probably
selling something.
188
00:07:47,367 --> 00:07:49,169
OK, Bo.
Love you. Bye.
189
00:07:49,235 --> 00:07:51,304
Love...
190
00:07:51,371 --> 00:07:53,440
What do they say, "birds
of a feather flock together"?
191
00:07:53,507 --> 00:07:55,776
Unless you're me, the winner.
192
00:07:55,842 --> 00:07:58,678
Yes.
193
00:08:05,585 --> 00:08:09,089
Hello?
194
00:08:13,026 --> 00:08:14,060
Hi.
195
00:08:14,127 --> 00:08:15,662
Who is this?
196
00:08:15,729 --> 00:08:19,667
This is Nina
from the museum and the date.
197
00:08:19,733 --> 00:08:21,068
I fell in the toilet.
198
00:08:21,134 --> 00:08:24,338
Yeah, you don't need to say
"Nina from."
199
00:08:24,405 --> 00:08:26,307
You're actually
the only Nina I know.
200
00:08:26,373 --> 00:08:28,341
You're my one and only Nina.
201
00:08:31,212 --> 00:08:33,880
Are you... jumping?
202
00:08:33,947 --> 00:08:37,551
No.
Erm, just fixing my coat.
203
00:08:39,186 --> 00:08:44,057
Do you, erm, perchance... dabble...
204
00:08:46,293 --> 00:08:48,261
In drugs?
205
00:08:50,397 --> 00:08:51,632
Let me cut
to the chase here, friend.
206
00:08:51,698 --> 00:08:54,568
I am three hours deep
in a hen party
207
00:08:54,634 --> 00:08:55,803
where I am maid of honor,
208
00:08:55,869 --> 00:08:57,638
and nothing fun nor epic
has happened.
209
00:08:57,704 --> 00:08:59,439
And as maid of honor,
it's within my remit
210
00:08:59,506 --> 00:09:02,042
to create fun and epicness,
so could you bring me drugs
211
00:09:02,108 --> 00:09:03,643
so I can make
something fun happen?
212
00:09:03,710 --> 00:09:05,312
Drugs.
213
00:09:05,379 --> 00:09:08,682
Drugs. Drugs!
Drugs. Yeah, yeah.
214
00:09:08,748 --> 00:09:12,052
No, I can...I mean, I'm...I'm...
I'm...I'm meant to be work...
215
00:09:12,119 --> 00:09:13,887
no, no, no, I can do it.
I can do it. Yeah.
216
00:09:13,954 --> 00:09:15,355
Oh, do you know
where to get them?
217
00:09:15,422 --> 00:09:17,157
Mm-hmm.
Yeah, of course. Yeah.
218
00:09:17,224 --> 00:09:20,427
Just...I just need
to make a few calls.
219
00:09:20,494 --> 00:09:23,997
Awesome, and, um,
could you bring them to me?
220
00:09:24,064 --> 00:09:25,799
I'm in a place called Rothesay.
221
00:09:25,866 --> 00:09:26,867
Rothesay?
222
00:09:26,934 --> 00:09:28,035
Oh, I hear it's...
223
00:09:28,101 --> 00:09:29,302
No, it's not.
224
00:09:29,369 --> 00:09:30,504
Right.
225
00:09:30,571 --> 00:09:34,240
No, I'll...I'll...
I'll get the stuff, Nina.
226
00:09:34,307 --> 00:09:35,776
Just...just give me a few hours.
227
00:09:35,843 --> 00:09:37,177
Oh!
228
00:09:37,244 --> 00:09:39,413
Ah... I'm your man.
229
00:09:39,480 --> 00:09:41,648
OK, thank you.
230
00:09:41,715 --> 00:09:43,650
OK. Love you. Bye.
231
00:09:45,519 --> 00:09:48,154
Fuck.
232
00:09:50,724 --> 00:09:54,128
Hello!
233
00:09:54,194 --> 00:09:56,296
I've procured the gear.
234
00:09:56,363 --> 00:09:58,465
They're gonna be here
in a couple of hours.
235
00:09:58,531 --> 00:09:59,399
Whoo!
236
00:09:59,466 --> 00:10:02,636
To the B&B!
237
00:10:02,702 --> 00:10:04,972
What are you screaming about?
238
00:10:05,039 --> 00:10:07,174
We love you!
239
00:10:07,241 --> 00:10:08,309
- Oh, my God!
- Oh, my God!
240
00:10:08,376 --> 00:10:10,077
♪ I'm not surprised ♪
241
00:10:10,143 --> 00:10:11,912
♪ Said I'm your type ♪
242
00:10:11,978 --> 00:10:16,116
♪ Can't look at you
with those wandering eyes ♪
243
00:10:16,182 --> 00:10:17,618
♪ Tell me the truth ♪
244
00:10:17,684 --> 00:10:20,720
Ooh. Blame the curb.
245
00:10:20,787 --> 00:10:22,155
Are you all right?
246
00:10:22,222 --> 00:10:23,357
I'm amazing, Nina.
247
00:10:23,423 --> 00:10:25,458
I'm having such a good time.
248
00:10:25,525 --> 00:10:27,727
There's this play park
on the hill by the harbor.
249
00:10:27,794 --> 00:10:30,131
And we took Nina there
when she was 13.
250
00:10:30,197 --> 00:10:31,598
She got stuck in a slide,
251
00:10:31,665 --> 00:10:33,967
and she was screaming
so loudly.
252
00:10:34,034 --> 00:10:35,269
Mum, stop.
253
00:10:35,336 --> 00:10:37,237
When the fire department
rescued her,
254
00:10:37,304 --> 00:10:39,439
we realized she'd just been
holding on to the inside
255
00:10:39,506 --> 00:10:41,142
- the entire time.
- No.
256
00:10:41,208 --> 00:10:43,110
And she kept yelling,
"Stop laughing!"
257
00:10:43,177 --> 00:10:44,678
which meant
everybody couldn't stop...
258
00:10:44,745 --> 00:10:45,745
Mum, stop!
259
00:10:45,812 --> 00:10:47,114
Stop it!
260
00:10:47,180 --> 00:10:48,481
It's not funny.
261
00:10:51,885 --> 00:10:56,624
And now for the next stop
in our extravaganza,
262
00:10:56,690 --> 00:10:59,159
a place
with more elderly gentlemen
263
00:10:59,226 --> 00:11:02,262
than Amber's pants.
264
00:11:02,329 --> 00:11:03,830
It's the pub.
265
00:11:08,702 --> 00:11:10,004
Are you OK?
266
00:11:10,070 --> 00:11:11,505
-Yeah, very.
-Yes?
267
00:11:11,572 --> 00:11:13,941
We're now gonna hand over
to Amber,
268
00:11:14,007 --> 00:11:16,577
who is gonna make us play
a weird game.
269
00:11:16,643 --> 00:11:19,980
Thank you so much for
the kind introduction, Nina.
270
00:11:20,047 --> 00:11:21,015
OK.
271
00:11:21,081 --> 00:11:23,918
So everyone write down
272
00:11:23,984 --> 00:11:27,121
three of your deepest, darkest,
most sexual secrets.
273
00:11:27,187 --> 00:11:29,223
There's only one rule...
don't be boring.
274
00:11:31,258 --> 00:11:32,592
It's a hen party,
for God's sake.
275
00:11:32,659 --> 00:11:34,295
It's obviously only funny
if it's about sex.
276
00:11:34,361 --> 00:11:35,862
Oh, Nina, shut your ears.
277
00:11:35,929 --> 00:11:38,732
I've done it 13 times.
278
00:11:40,333 --> 00:11:42,102
Boop.
279
00:11:42,169 --> 00:11:49,376
♪ ♪
280
00:11:59,587 --> 00:12:02,256
Haven't got my glasses.
281
00:12:02,322 --> 00:12:04,091
You don't wear glasses.
282
00:12:04,158 --> 00:12:06,693
Shh.
283
00:12:06,760 --> 00:12:10,430
"I've had a thing
for Alan Titsmarsh
284
00:12:10,497 --> 00:12:14,267
since I saw him in the street
in the early '90s."
285
00:12:14,334 --> 00:12:17,004
Oh, that's a head-scratcher.
286
00:12:17,070 --> 00:12:18,806
OK, so just to reiterate,
287
00:12:18,872 --> 00:12:22,142
this game's meant to be
really outrageous.
288
00:12:22,209 --> 00:12:26,246
It's obviously mum.
289
00:12:26,313 --> 00:12:27,681
- Was it you?
- Yeah.
290
00:12:27,748 --> 00:12:30,784
It's just the way
he holds his trowel.
291
00:12:33,821 --> 00:12:37,624
"I had a dream about pumping
David Attenborough."
292
00:12:39,893 --> 00:12:41,395
Nina.
293
00:12:41,461 --> 00:12:43,663
Nina, you can't say that.
294
00:12:43,730 --> 00:12:45,065
He's, like, 100 years old.
295
00:12:45,132 --> 00:12:46,700
Amber said to make it sexy.
296
00:12:46,767 --> 00:12:48,769
Attenborough's
a national treasure, Nina.
297
00:12:48,835 --> 00:12:50,704
Nina, inappropriate.
298
00:12:52,339 --> 00:12:55,342
It was only a dream.
299
00:12:55,409 --> 00:12:57,545
I didn't actually do it.
300
00:13:00,247 --> 00:13:03,484
"I threw a hot dog
at a painting
301
00:13:03,551 --> 00:13:05,719
"in the National Portrait Gallery.
302
00:13:05,786 --> 00:13:07,955
"When the police questioned me,
I lied
303
00:13:08,021 --> 00:13:11,625
and said I'd done it as part
of the Stop Oil movement.
304
00:13:11,691 --> 00:13:15,595
And also, I think
I'm addicted to pegging."
305
00:13:20,034 --> 00:13:21,569
Amber?
306
00:13:21,635 --> 00:13:23,170
Nice try.
307
00:13:23,236 --> 00:13:25,072
That is so you, Nina.
308
00:13:25,138 --> 00:13:26,973
Nina, is this
overstimulating you?
309
00:13:27,040 --> 00:13:28,842
Do you need a quiet space?
310
00:13:28,909 --> 00:13:31,011
- No, I'm fine.
- OK.
311
00:13:36,917 --> 00:13:39,319
"I've led someone on."
312
00:13:39,386 --> 00:13:41,354
That's all it says.
313
00:13:44,425 --> 00:13:47,061
It's me.
It's me again. Oh.
314
00:13:47,128 --> 00:13:48,495
-Nina!
- What am I like?
315
00:13:48,562 --> 00:13:50,397
You should never
lead anyone on, Nina.
316
00:13:50,463 --> 00:13:51,665
Ever.
317
00:13:51,732 --> 00:13:52,666
Who was it?
318
00:13:52,732 --> 00:13:53,700
Just a man at work.
319
00:13:53,767 --> 00:13:55,035
Oh, an admirer?
320
00:13:55,101 --> 00:13:57,171
No, it's the man from...
321
00:13:57,237 --> 00:13:58,672
the coffee man.
322
00:13:58,739 --> 00:13:59,673
Erm, the coffee van man.
323
00:13:59,740 --> 00:14:00,941
It's the coffee van man.
324
00:14:01,007 --> 00:14:03,343
And we have this chemistry,
325
00:14:03,410 --> 00:14:05,646
this frisson of sexual tension.
326
00:14:05,712 --> 00:14:09,416
And...and...and I have been
flirting with him a lot,
327
00:14:09,482 --> 00:14:12,986
which is bad,
because I get bored at work.
328
00:14:13,053 --> 00:14:15,589
So I just head over
to the coffee van
329
00:14:15,655 --> 00:14:18,926
in my practical
but alluring dress,
330
00:14:18,993 --> 00:14:21,495
and I pop a button
331
00:14:21,561 --> 00:14:24,398
and squeeze my boobs together
really hard.
332
00:14:24,465 --> 00:14:26,367
And I just do it
so that I can...
333
00:14:26,433 --> 00:14:28,802
I can feel something,
to feel alive.
334
00:14:28,868 --> 00:14:31,004
And...and the worst part is,
335
00:14:31,071 --> 00:14:33,506
is he's coming here tonight,
so...
336
00:14:33,573 --> 00:14:36,110
Nina, you shouldn't be
leading this poor boy on
337
00:14:36,176 --> 00:14:37,678
just for your own amusement.
338
00:14:37,744 --> 00:14:39,746
It's a terrible thing to do.
Yes, I know, Mum!
339
00:14:39,813 --> 00:14:42,516
That's why I wrote it
in a confession square.
340
00:14:42,583 --> 00:14:45,552
Nina.
You dark horse.
341
00:14:49,423 --> 00:14:53,260
Evie?
342
00:14:55,061 --> 00:14:58,165
Evie.
343
00:14:58,232 --> 00:15:00,568
I'm fine.
344
00:15:00,634 --> 00:15:01,635
I'm fine.
345
00:15:01,702 --> 00:15:03,303
It's just,
you don't seem fine
346
00:15:03,370 --> 00:15:05,339
with the running to the toilet
and vomiting loudly.
347
00:15:07,608 --> 00:15:08,708
Evie.
348
00:15:08,775 --> 00:15:11,345
You wrote that truth,
didn't you?
349
00:15:11,411 --> 00:15:12,947
Ugh!
350
00:15:13,014 --> 00:15:15,182
You got me.
351
00:15:15,248 --> 00:15:18,485
I've got a thing
for the Titsmarsh.
352
00:15:25,025 --> 00:15:26,627
Are you OK?
353
00:15:30,731 --> 00:15:32,833
It's nothing. I'm fine.
354
00:15:32,900 --> 00:15:35,469
- You're allowed to be scared.
- I'm not scared!
355
00:15:35,535 --> 00:15:38,538
Just stop worrying about me.
356
00:15:42,175 --> 00:15:44,478
There's a man by the bar
asking for you.
357
00:15:44,545 --> 00:15:46,079
What? Why?
358
00:15:46,146 --> 00:15:48,014
No, not you.
359
00:15:48,081 --> 00:15:50,016
You.
360
00:15:51,852 --> 00:15:53,820
Go get it, girl.
361
00:15:56,423 --> 00:15:58,425
Ah, the coffee van man.
362
00:15:58,492 --> 00:15:59,760
Yeah.
363
00:15:59,827 --> 00:16:01,428
You came.
364
00:16:01,495 --> 00:16:03,898
Yeah.
365
00:16:03,964 --> 00:16:05,465
And you brought a...
366
00:16:05,532 --> 00:16:09,570
Oh, this is
my old friend, Euan.
367
00:16:09,637 --> 00:16:12,572
Great.
And he's here because?
368
00:16:12,639 --> 00:16:16,943
Eh, I...I...I got the stuff
from him.
369
00:16:17,010 --> 00:16:18,712
Um, yes.
370
00:16:18,779 --> 00:16:21,181
And then...and then, um, I said
I was going to Rothesay,
371
00:16:21,247 --> 00:16:23,316
and he says,
"I've never been to Rothesay."
372
00:16:23,383 --> 00:16:26,954
So...so now Euan's here as well.
373
00:16:27,021 --> 00:16:28,322
Cool.
374
00:16:28,388 --> 00:16:30,057
Are you gonna
introduce us, Nina?
375
00:16:30,123 --> 00:16:31,491
Yep.
376
00:16:31,558 --> 00:16:32,759
Erm, this is Lee.
377
00:16:32,826 --> 00:16:34,195
Hi.
378
00:16:34,261 --> 00:16:36,730
This is his good friend, Euan,
379
00:16:36,796 --> 00:16:39,099
who's also with us today.
380
00:16:39,165 --> 00:16:40,734
This is my mother, Diane.
381
00:16:40,801 --> 00:16:42,502
We've met.
382
00:16:42,569 --> 00:16:44,705
And this is my sister, Evie.
383
00:16:44,772 --> 00:16:46,573
Hello, boy.
384
00:16:48,075 --> 00:16:50,611
And this is my...
well, this is just Amber.
385
00:16:50,677 --> 00:16:52,212
She's not my anything.
386
00:16:54,415 --> 00:16:56,116
These are the drug dealers?
387
00:16:57,217 --> 00:16:58,885
-Yes?
- Cool.
388
00:16:58,952 --> 00:17:01,354
It's just, they look a bit
like massive nerds.
389
00:17:01,421 --> 00:17:02,956
Yeah, well, try and keep
an open mind, Amber.
390
00:17:03,023 --> 00:17:05,159
Sometimes people don't
look like their jobs, yeah?
391
00:17:05,226 --> 00:17:07,460
Wow.
Boys in a hen do.
392
00:17:07,527 --> 00:17:10,363
What will they think of next?
393
00:17:10,430 --> 00:17:12,700
No one goes on all-girl
hen dos anymore, Diane.
394
00:17:12,767 --> 00:17:14,235
It's passé.
395
00:17:14,301 --> 00:17:17,238
Wait, this is a hen do?
396
00:17:17,304 --> 00:17:21,142
Aren't there meant to be,
like, more girls?
397
00:17:21,208 --> 00:17:22,710
This is all we need.
398
00:17:22,776 --> 00:17:24,178
-Yeah.
- Yeah.
399
00:17:24,244 --> 00:17:27,514
Yeah. This is all we need!
400
00:17:31,084 --> 00:17:33,286
Right.
Who's getting the next round?
401
00:17:38,258 --> 00:17:39,492
- Jaegerbomb, please.
- Oh.
402
00:17:39,559 --> 00:17:42,062
- Gin and tonic, please.
- Right.
403
00:17:42,128 --> 00:17:43,797
Can I get a glass
of tepid water?
404
00:17:43,864 --> 00:17:47,100
Tepid, not warm.
405
00:17:47,167 --> 00:17:48,702
Cool.
406
00:17:56,643 --> 00:17:59,513
-Have you got that...
- Yeah, yeah.
407
00:18:00,447 --> 00:18:02,349
Let's get this party started!
408
00:18:02,416 --> 00:18:04,451
Oblivion, here we come...
409
00:18:04,518 --> 00:18:07,821
Is that it?
410
00:18:07,888 --> 00:18:09,823
Apparently.
411
00:18:09,890 --> 00:18:12,560
Do we cut it up, Euan?
412
00:18:12,626 --> 00:18:14,294
No.
413
00:18:14,361 --> 00:18:17,697
I say
we should smoke this joint
414
00:18:17,764 --> 00:18:20,967
right here, right now
in this pub.
415
00:18:21,034 --> 00:18:24,305
Because we are young
and we are alive.
416
00:18:24,372 --> 00:18:25,873
Or do you know
what we could do?
417
00:18:25,939 --> 00:18:28,175
We could...
oh, what if we went outside?
418
00:18:28,242 --> 00:18:29,443
What?
Yeah.
419
00:18:29,510 --> 00:18:31,144
-Yeah?
-Love that.
420
00:18:31,211 --> 00:18:35,415
Yeah. Ten points.
421
00:18:35,482 --> 00:18:37,684
Oh, no.
Nina, Nina, you stay with Mum.
422
00:18:37,751 --> 00:18:40,554
- Oh, but I want to...
- Mum needs you.
423
00:18:45,425 --> 00:18:47,194
Oh, where did everyone go?
424
00:18:47,261 --> 00:18:48,329
To smoke a big joint.
425
00:18:48,395 --> 00:18:50,330
Oh, very good.
426
00:19:00,074 --> 00:19:01,842
Nina, if you're
feeling anxious...
427
00:19:01,909 --> 00:19:03,977
Mum, let it go.
428
00:19:04,044 --> 00:19:05,479
You're so focused on me,
429
00:19:05,546 --> 00:19:07,114
you haven't even noticed
that your other daughter is
430
00:19:07,181 --> 00:19:08,748
falling about
all over the place.
431
00:19:08,815 --> 00:19:10,150
You know Evie's
on the other side of that wall
432
00:19:10,217 --> 00:19:11,685
right now smoking drugs.
433
00:19:11,752 --> 00:19:13,253
- Without me.
- Aww.
434
00:19:13,320 --> 00:19:16,623
I'm glad
she's letting off steam.
435
00:19:16,690 --> 00:19:19,293
I know
what's going on here, Nina.
436
00:19:19,360 --> 00:19:20,828
If you're gonna have
a meltdown,
437
00:19:20,895 --> 00:19:22,797
I think it might be better
if we just go outside.
438
00:19:22,863 --> 00:19:25,098
I'm not having a meltdown.
This is not a meltdown.
439
00:19:25,165 --> 00:19:26,566
I'm...I'm merely annoyed.
440
00:19:26,633 --> 00:19:28,903
Mum, I know
you're trying to help,
441
00:19:28,969 --> 00:19:34,274
but the world is a bad
and horrible and stupid place,
442
00:19:34,341 --> 00:19:38,045
and... you cannae fix it.
443
00:19:38,112 --> 00:19:42,216
You can teach me every
coping mechanism under the sun,
444
00:19:42,283 --> 00:19:44,652
but if you can't cope
with me coping,
445
00:19:44,718 --> 00:19:47,354
then it's not gonna work.
446
00:19:47,420 --> 00:19:50,190
I'm so sorry, Wheat Puff.
447
00:19:50,257 --> 00:19:54,061
I thought
becoming a psychotherapist
448
00:19:54,128 --> 00:19:57,731
would help me
to understand you.
449
00:19:57,798 --> 00:19:59,934
You became a psychotherapist
because of me?
450
00:20:00,000 --> 00:20:01,602
Yes.
451
00:20:01,669 --> 00:20:02,736
Fuck.
452
00:20:02,802 --> 00:20:05,839
I know.
453
00:20:05,906 --> 00:20:07,841
What do you want me to do?
454
00:20:07,907 --> 00:20:09,944
Treat me like a grown-up.
455
00:20:10,010 --> 00:20:11,511
OK.
456
00:20:11,578 --> 00:20:13,080
How do I do that?
457
00:20:13,147 --> 00:20:14,715
I don't know.
458
00:20:14,781 --> 00:20:18,285
Oh, it's tricky, isn't it?
459
00:20:24,525 --> 00:20:26,927
♪ ♪
460
00:20:26,994 --> 00:20:29,029
Glorious.
461
00:20:29,096 --> 00:20:32,199
Go on.
462
00:20:32,266 --> 00:20:33,266
No. No.
463
00:20:36,103 --> 00:20:39,172
♪ I'm under pressure ♪
464
00:20:39,239 --> 00:20:42,109
♪ Where is my face at? ♪
465
00:20:42,175 --> 00:20:44,711
♪ I'm under pressure ♪
466
00:20:46,146 --> 00:20:47,648
Your friend seems
to have cheered up.
467
00:20:47,715 --> 00:20:49,182
Yeah.
468
00:20:49,249 --> 00:20:51,018
There must be something
in the tepid water.
469
00:20:51,085 --> 00:20:52,453
Did he eat
the rest of the drugs?
470
00:20:52,519 --> 00:20:55,256
Look, Nina,
I'm gonna level with you.
471
00:20:55,322 --> 00:20:56,690
I don't really know the guy.
472
00:20:56,757 --> 00:20:58,759
Like, he used to deal
back at uni,
473
00:20:58,825 --> 00:21:00,360
but when I said
I was going to Rothesay,
474
00:21:00,427 --> 00:21:01,962
he just kind of
invited himself along.
475
00:21:02,029 --> 00:21:03,630
And when we were on the ferry,
476
00:21:03,697 --> 00:21:05,366
he started talking about
477
00:21:05,432 --> 00:21:08,201
how he doesn't really believe
in gravity.
478
00:21:08,268 --> 00:21:09,770
What?
Yeah.
479
00:21:09,836 --> 00:21:12,472
That's kind of the level of guy
we're dealing with here.
480
00:21:12,539 --> 00:21:14,141
But, um...but it looks like
he's having fun,
481
00:21:14,208 --> 00:21:16,343
and it's worked out
all right, yeah?
482
00:21:16,409 --> 00:21:18,679
He's dancing with my mum.
483
00:21:18,746 --> 00:21:20,081
I know. I know.
484
00:21:20,147 --> 00:21:21,715
I'm so sorry.
485
00:21:21,782 --> 00:21:24,018
I'm so sorry.
486
00:21:25,218 --> 00:21:26,886
Word on the street is,
487
00:21:26,953 --> 00:21:32,025
you can bring in your own chips
before 11:00.
488
00:21:32,092 --> 00:21:34,394
Cool.
489
00:21:36,430 --> 00:21:38,432
Do you want to go get
some chips with me, Nina?
490
00:21:38,499 --> 00:21:41,535
All right.
491
00:21:41,602 --> 00:21:47,207
♪ ♪
492
00:21:47,274 --> 00:21:49,342
Nina, you...
493
00:21:54,681 --> 00:21:57,417
Is this a second date?
494
00:21:57,484 --> 00:22:01,288
Uh, I mean...well, let's see.
495
00:22:01,354 --> 00:22:04,024
- We have a pub.
- Mm-hmm.
496
00:22:04,090 --> 00:22:05,158
- Beer.
- Mm.
497
00:22:05,225 --> 00:22:07,294
A nice girl,
498
00:22:07,361 --> 00:22:10,831
a depressed drug dealer,
499
00:22:10,898 --> 00:22:12,600
and your mum.
500
00:22:12,666 --> 00:22:15,802
Classic second date.
501
00:22:15,869 --> 00:22:17,671
I'm sorry my mum's here.
502
00:22:17,738 --> 00:22:21,742
Oh, no.
Your mum's cool.
503
00:22:21,809 --> 00:22:25,613
I wish my mum cared that much.
504
00:22:25,680 --> 00:22:27,013
I'm sorry.
505
00:22:27,080 --> 00:22:28,982
Oh, don't be. No.
506
00:22:29,049 --> 00:22:31,217
I moved away from home
a long time ago.
507
00:22:31,284 --> 00:22:33,454
And now I sell coffee out a van
508
00:22:33,521 --> 00:22:35,589
and live opposite the best
chippie in Clover Street.
509
00:22:35,656 --> 00:22:38,492
So who's laughing now?
510
00:22:38,558 --> 00:22:40,327
You.
511
00:22:40,394 --> 00:22:41,629
Yeah.
512
00:22:41,695 --> 00:22:44,131
Yeah.
513
00:22:44,198 --> 00:22:47,535
Leslie was never
big enough for me anyway.
514
00:22:47,601 --> 00:22:49,236
Who's Leslie?
515
00:22:49,303 --> 00:22:51,472
Oh, that...
that's where I'm from.
516
00:22:53,174 --> 00:22:54,641
Lee from Leslie.
517
00:22:54,708 --> 00:22:56,710
- That's me.
- Mm-hmm.
518
00:22:59,179 --> 00:23:02,282
So if you could go
anywhere in the world,
519
00:23:02,349 --> 00:23:04,751
where would you go?
520
00:23:04,818 --> 00:23:06,353
Glasgow.
521
00:23:06,420 --> 00:23:08,088
Anywhere in the world.
522
00:23:08,154 --> 00:23:10,023
Glasgow.
523
00:23:10,090 --> 00:23:11,191
OK.
524
00:23:11,258 --> 00:23:14,294
Anywhere except Glasgow.
525
00:23:14,361 --> 00:23:16,196
The Isle of Wight.
526
00:23:16,263 --> 00:23:18,665
Wow. Why?
527
00:23:18,732 --> 00:23:20,834
There's this lady called
Dr. Catherine Dunne,
528
00:23:20,901 --> 00:23:24,338
and, erm, she's discovered
these armored dinosaurs
529
00:23:24,404 --> 00:23:27,474
that are probably, like,
145 million years old.
530
00:23:27,541 --> 00:23:29,109
- What?
- And they're gonna change
531
00:23:29,176 --> 00:23:31,345
the landscape
of British dinosaur discourse.
532
00:23:31,412 --> 00:23:34,414
And she posted this thing for...
sorry, I'm talking too much.
533
00:23:34,481 --> 00:23:37,418
No. Erm, keep going.
Keep going.
534
00:23:37,484 --> 00:23:40,354
She posted this thing
looking for people
535
00:23:40,421 --> 00:23:42,556
to go to the Isle of Wight
and work with her,
536
00:23:42,623 --> 00:23:45,826
and I applied.
537
00:23:45,893 --> 00:23:47,494
Right.
538
00:23:52,666 --> 00:23:57,871
So if you, erm...if you got it,
would you go?
539
00:23:57,938 --> 00:23:59,340
Yeah.
540
00:23:59,406 --> 00:24:00,707
No.
541
00:24:00,774 --> 00:24:02,509
I don't know.
542
00:24:02,576 --> 00:24:03,677
Choices are hard.
543
00:24:03,744 --> 00:24:05,446
Yeah.
544
00:24:05,513 --> 00:24:09,350
I mean, there's a lot
to stay in Glasgow for.
545
00:24:09,416 --> 00:24:12,419
Well, my parents and my job
546
00:24:12,486 --> 00:24:14,755
and all of my pens
are in Glasgow.
547
00:24:14,821 --> 00:24:16,056
- Yeah.
- And my sister.
548
00:24:16,123 --> 00:24:17,691
And my sister's wedding.
549
00:24:17,758 --> 00:24:21,294
And the wedding's coming up,
and I'm the maid of honor.
550
00:24:21,361 --> 00:24:23,263
And it's gonna be a whole day
of everybody pretending.
551
00:24:23,330 --> 00:24:24,631
And...and I don't know
what to do with my face
552
00:24:24,698 --> 00:24:26,467
'cause I never know
what to do with my face.
553
00:24:26,533 --> 00:24:28,469
And my mum keeps saying, "Nina,
Nina, you have to tell me.
554
00:24:28,535 --> 00:24:30,304
"Are you bringing a plus-one,
because I need to know
555
00:24:30,371 --> 00:24:31,471
for the seating arrangements."
556
00:24:31,538 --> 00:24:33,573
I don't know.
557
00:24:35,776 --> 00:24:36,810
Do you want to be my plus-one?
558
00:24:36,877 --> 00:24:38,645
Yeah.
559
00:24:38,712 --> 00:24:40,714
Yeah, I'll be
your plus-one, Nina.
560
00:24:42,182 --> 00:24:43,850
Send me the details.
561
00:24:43,917 --> 00:24:44,852
I will.
562
00:24:44,919 --> 00:24:45,852
Don't forget.
563
00:24:45,919 --> 00:24:48,088
Shan't.
564
00:24:48,155 --> 00:24:51,191
Oh, you...you've got a little...
565
00:24:51,257 --> 00:24:53,761
do you want...
can I just touch your face?
566
00:24:53,827 --> 00:24:55,262
Mm-hmm.
567
00:24:55,329 --> 00:25:02,502
♪ ♪
568
00:25:12,813 --> 00:25:17,518
♪ ♪
569
00:25:17,585 --> 00:25:21,121
Evie!
570
00:25:21,188 --> 00:25:23,123
Oh, shit.
571
00:25:23,190 --> 00:25:30,397
♪ ♪
572
00:25:41,742 --> 00:25:43,177
What is pegging?
573
00:25:53,620 --> 00:26:00,627
♪ ♪
574
00:26:03,297 --> 00:26:05,933
♪ So far, so good ♪
575
00:26:06,000 --> 00:26:07,234
♪ You see ♪
576
00:26:07,301 --> 00:26:08,868
♪ It's fine, it's fine ♪
577
00:26:08,935 --> 00:26:11,104
♪ The signs that ♪
578
00:26:11,171 --> 00:26:15,542
♪ I am floating 'round here ♪
579
00:26:15,609 --> 00:26:17,644
♪ It's fine,
it's fine, it's fine ♪
38722
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