Original subtitles

What can you do for me?

Downloaded from YTS.MX

I've lived in the hotel since it was built.

- Uh. - I know the entire

security operation.

I can get you into the jewelry store,

Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX

and I get you the combination to the safe.

Well, there you have it,

now if you'll just let us all go.

Not so fast, kid.

I'll do all that for you,

but I want you to let everyone else go.

Even Carla.

That is so

noble.

I'll be fine.

How do I know this whole thing ain't a trap?

- Yeah? - I don't need your help.

Alright, I'll tell ya what I'm gonna do.

I'm gonna take you up on your offer,

but nobody goes nowhere until we get the diamond,

and we get away.

As a matter of fact,

you's are all gonna come with.

Why?

Because you'll make great hostages

in case there's trouble.

Alright, let's go, hotshot, you're on.

Let's get us into that safe.

I just wanna let you know,

that if anything happens to us,

my aunt happens to be Attorney General, Janet Reno.

I'm shakin', kid.

Come on, come on, let's go.

Bingo.

Oh, what a haul.

There's no reason to leave any of this stuff laying around.

Come on in, you, watch them two.

Get over there, go on, get over there.

You too, get over here.

Get over there.

You guys aren't gonna get away with this.

You better hope we get away with this.

Hey, Slater, you think that gun has paint in it?

I don't know.

Why don't you ask him.

Hey, does that gun shoot paint?

No, stupid, it shoots bullets.

You wanna see?

You know, this all your fault.

My fault?

Hey, you're the one who dragged us to Vegas.

Hey, it was your girlfriend,

who got us here in the first place.

Hey, stop it, the both of you's.

Let me handle this.

You gotta know how to talk to him.

Hey, stop it, the both of you's.

You know what, you're really

- starting to make me mad. - You're really starting.

Quit it, you're gonna ruin

- my clothes. - Alright, that's it.

Break it up.

Break, that's enough.

Oh, my God.

- Get in there. - Get in.

Alright, Curt.

You guys, it was great.

Yeah, who would have thought

that stupid Three Stooges routine would work again?

Hey, I've always said that Moe's a genius.

Well, I thought it was pretty brave.

Did I ever tell you that bravery turns me on?

This is security, we have a break in,

in the jewelry store, I need full response.

- Roger, full response. - Hey, is there another

vault we can put them in?

And by the power invested in me,

I now pronounce you man and wife.

May you live long and have many children together.

Number 61.

Bingo.

Hey, it's you.

Hey, it's you.

What are you doing here?

Oh, I have a lot of service businesses.

I have a used car lot and a funeral parlor.

You'd be surprised how many people drop dead in Las Vegas.

Well, we'll just take the wedding.

Listen, ah, Kell.

I know this not how you planned it,

but I promise, I'll make it up to you.

The important thing is

we're getting married.

That is the important thing,

but here's something a little more important.

I'll need the marriage license and 50 bucks,

and not necessarily in that order.

You know, if you wanna make it 55,

I could throw in a shiatsu massage.

No, ah, okay.

Ah, do you, Zack Morris and you, Kelly Kapowski,

promise to love and to cherish, in health and sickness,

in sickness and death, and death and rigor mortis,

and the come back and wander the earth as zombies?

Ah, just say, I do.

- I do. - I do.

Survey says, right answer.

So, if nobody objects,

I know pronounce you--

I object.

What do you object to?

No son of mine's gonna get married

in a cheesy place like this.

But I just redecorated.

Zack, Kelly, I, uh,

I want you to have a real wedding.

- Oh. - Dad,

I don't know what to say.

Glad you changed your mind.

Well, I got some last minute wisdom from an old friend.

I had to call him.

I'm glad you did.

You guys, give your mom and me a couple of days,

and we'll have a first class wedding.

I've already started the ball rolling.

I think this belongs to us.

Boy, I should stick to funerals.

They never ask for refunds.

Ah, well, number 62.

- That's us, baby. - Yeah.

Alright, move up.

Alright, do your thing, there, Miss Brisby.

Thanks, Dad.

Oh, here she is, oh.

This is so beautiful.

I know, I love weddings.

I was their suite mate at college.

I was their principal.

- Oh. - Would you two

just cut it out?

I was their resident advisor, you know?

I kind of introduced 'em.

They met in my school.

We're gathered here today,

to witness the union of two very special people,

Zack Morris and Kelly Kapowski.

Wait, wait for me.

- Oh. - Who is that?

- Uh. - Jessie.

Wait.

Jessie, how'd you get here?

Oh, when Zack's mom called,

I took the first flight out of New York.

I couldn't let you guys get married without me.

Well, what about your finals?

So, I'll go to summer school.

There are things more important than a test.

I'm glad you're here.

As I was saying.

Zack and Kelly.

Two people destined for each other.

May I have the ring, please?

Screech, give him the ring.

Well, I had it a minute ago.

It's in your hand.

Oh, sorry.

Do you, Kelly, take Zack

to be your lawful wedded husband?

I do.

Do you, Zack, take Kelly

to be your lawful wedded wife?

I do.

By the power vested in me by the state of Nevada,

I know pronounce you man and wife.

- Yay, oh. - Yeah.

Well, you may kiss the bride.

- Alright, Zack. - Way to go, congratulations.

Alex, I can't believe you made it.

Oh, I would not miss seeing Zack

commit to one woman.

Alright, alright, I get enough of that from Lisa.

Be happy, and don't forget,

I'm right across the campus from you.

- Congratulations. - Thanks, Mike.

- Oh. - Thank you, Mike.

I tell you what, though, I'm really

gonna miss you guys in the dorm.

Well, you know, if it'll make you feel any better,

you can come to our apartment once a week,

and yell at us for being too messy.

Count on it.

- Hi. - Hey.

Hey, Mr. Belding, we are so touched

that you came to our wedding.

Well you have always been special to me,

and Zack, if it wasn't you for you,

I'd have a lot more hair and few less ulcers.

What can I say, sir?

You made high school challenging.

I did, thanks Zack.

Best of luck, you two.

Now don't forget to come visit me at Bayside.

- Come here. - Oh.

- Zack? - Yeah.

You better take care of her,

or you will hear from me.

Anything but that.

I promise, Jessie, I will.

Well,

Mrs. Morris.

What can I say?

Jessie.

Ah, I would just like to say

to all our family and friends,

how happy Kelly and I are that you could all be here today.

You've made this truly special.

And please, don't be strangers.

We wanna see all of you in our new apartment.

But not at the same time.

Thanks you guys.

We love you all.

Ah, I'd like to say a few words about Zach and Kelly.

You're the best friends a guy could have.

I wish you all the things I wish for myself,

and may you live in happiness forever, here, here.

Here, here.

I can't tell you how proud the two of you have made us.

Oh, thanks, Mom.

We love ya, honey.

Oh, I love you too, Daddy.

Hey, guys.

How are you?

Hey, oh, you got so big, you look so handsome.

Mom.

- See you later. - Okay.

Why am I surprised?

You've always been there for me.

Hey, it's your life.

Who am I to tell you how to live it?

I have a lot of faith in you, Zachary.

Zachary.

You haven't called me that since I was a kid.

- I love you, Son. - I love you, Dad.

Whoa, what is with you.

Oh, Curt's taking me to the Indian Reservation.

So, I thought I'd dress appropriately.

She'll fit right in,

don't you think?

Look at you, you have gone off and got yourself married.

I knew you'd be the first.

And you,

you sure fooled me.

- I love you guys. - I love you.

Best of luck.

Hey, thanks for everything, man.

- Bye, take care, you guys. - Bye.

B-bye.

Oh, guys, I'm, I'm lousy at goodbyes.

Have a nice life, bye.

- Come on, buddy, come on. - Screech, wait.

We're gonna see a lot of you.

But promise, you'll call first.

What can I say, man? It's the end of an era.

It's been great, huh?

I'm gonna miss you.

Yeah, it's not over.

I'm sure the little lady's gonna let me out once in awhile.

If you're good.

- Unless, I'm good, huh? - Mm-hmm.

Well, Carla's gonna come back to L.A.

with me for a couple of days.

- Oh. - Congratulations, you guys.

I'm so sorry I put you through this.

Hey, it's okay, everything worked out,

and now we have a new friend.

- Good luck, buddy. - Man, take it easy.

- Bye. - Bye, Kelly.

- Good times. - Take care of him.

Bye.

Okay, I'm gonna throw the bouquet now.

Why me?

Why do I have to be the only one without somebody?

Sammy, there you are.

Hey, you stay away from me.

My feet are still swollen from that tango.

Oh, give me another chance, Sammy.

We're made for each other.

All right, I see two of them, about 100 meters.

They're both armed.

All right, let's make our move.

I'm scared.

Now you signed up for this just like we did.

Now act like a soldier.

Ow, ah, I think I fell on my gun.

You shut up, Screech,

you're gonna blow the whole operation.

He's right, now let's do this exactly as we planned.

Stay alert, I don't want anybody gettin' shot.

- Right, let's go. - Go, go.

Take that, suckers.

Got you guys.

I can't believe this.

Yeah, well believe it, pal.

You're our ninth kill.

Hand over your weapons, guys

'cause the red team is the dead team.

Alright, get outta here.

Well, according to my calculations, gentlemen,

we have wiped out the entire red team.

- Alright, blue team. - Yeah, woo.

I love paint war.

I love this Army stuff.

I could be all that I could be.

Man, this is best weekend I've ever had.

Well, you know, without a girl.

This is great, isn't it?

I'm really glad you guys came here with me.

Hey, buddy, we wouldn't have it any other way.

I'm just glad you decided to spend

your final days as a free man with us.

The Three Musketeers, together for the last time.

Well next week you're gonna be an old married man.

I still can't believe it, Zack.

You're only 19.

Think of all they fun you're missing.

Think of all the women you're missing.

Ah, c'mon, Slater.

I've dated practically every girl on the planet.

There's only one

I've ever really loved, Kelly.

I'm not letting her get away.

Party's over fellas.

Hands up, now.

Alright, you got us.

You guys are good.

They're not good, you're stupid.

You and your calculations.

Oh, I'm stupid?

You're the genius who led us into this ambush.

Now guys, let's not quibble.

Zack, Slater's not stupid,

and Slater, Zack's no genius.

- Shut up, Screech. - Shut up, Screech.

Now what did I do?

- You did what you always do. - Ow.

- You had to ruin everything. - Ow.

Yeah, you idiot.

Do you guys mind, we're playing a war game here.

C'mon, guys, that hurts.

Would you guys cut it out, he's our prisoner.

Oh, ow, my knee.

Ow, my knee.

Way to go.

You've hurt your own man.

Oh, what the heck.

Yes, yes, we did it.

- Yes, yes. - Yes, yes.

Get out of here now.

Yeah. Yeah.

- Are we bad or what? - Yeah, too much fun.

There we go.

Let's get to back to the camp and celebrate.

- Alright. - Alright, guys, but not too

long, I promised Kelly we'd leave

for Las Vegas in the morning.

- Wimp. - Wimp.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Well, here it is.

Bayside High.

Too bad you can't stay in high school forever, huh?

My cousin can.

Flunked algebra three times.

Yeah, we some history here, didn't we guys?

112, that's how many times

I was sent to the principal's office.

18, that's how many dates I had for one prom.

Well, as impressive as those numbers are, gentlemen,

my record can never be broken.

82, that's how many lockers I was stuffed into.

You're right, Screech.

That record

will never be touched.

Alright, man, here we are.

Good luck, huh?

See you guys tomorrow.

See ya.

So, you're getting married in Las Vegas?

That's exciting.

Exciting, it's ridiculous, Melanie.

A wedding in Las Vegas?

Who's gonna marry ya, some Elvis impersonator?

I don't know why you care, Dad.

You've been against this from the start.

Of course I'm against it, Zack.

You're too young to get married.

I don't want you throwing your life away.

I am not throwing my life away.

I've been in love with Kelly

since we were in grammar school.

Why can't you see that this is the real thing?

Son, Kelly is a terrific girl,

and I don't doubt your feelings for each other,

but can't it just wait until after you graduate?

No, Dad, it can't.

We have planned this out.

We have a place off campus.

We're both going to work.

You're making a big mistake, Son.

Derek, you do not know that.

You know what, if I am making a mistake,

at least it's my mistake.

This is my life.

Fine, you do what you have to do,

but leave me out of it.

So what are you saying?

You're not coming to my wedding?

You okay?

Yeah.

Yeah, I'll be alright.

Why does he have to be like that?

Zack, your father has always

had these great plans for you,

and getting married at 19 is not on his list.

But, Mom, what about my list?

Look Zack, I think you're too young to get married, too,

but if you are truly happy about this,

then that's all that really matters to me.

Thank, Mom.

So.

- So? - Are you gonna be there?

Well, you have my blessings.

I can't be at the wedding, Zack.

I can't go against your father.

So you need some money?

I'm fine, Mom.

I've got about $1200.00.

We can have nice little wedding with that.

Well, here are two vouchers

for free rooms at the Stardust Hotel.

I won them during poker night at church.

What can I say?

You've always been there for me.

You will always be my little boy.

Even though you're all grown up.

Mom.

Great car, Lisa.

It's a birthday present from my dad.

Has anybody seen my pillow?

It's in the back of Slater's car.

- Here's Zack. - Hey, hey, hey,

what's going on, guys?

What's up buddy, you ready?

- Oh, yeah. - Alright.

Vegas, here we come.

- Yeah. - Who do I see over here?

Come here.

Yep, I just can't take this anymore.

I'm glad we're going in separate cars.

Whoa, whoa, why are we going in separate cars?

Well, Kelly and I have a lot of things to talk about.

I still can't believe you're going

through with this wedding, Zack.

Well, for your information, Lisa, it is a done deal.

Listen, I just talked to my parents,

and they're all excited.

Unfortunately, they can't help us out financially.

Well, at least they're behind us.

My dad thinks I'm crazy.

He's not gonna be at the wedding.

I'm sorry.

Yeah, me too,

but, hey, I am a mature adult,

and I can make decisions on my own.

C'mon, let's go.

Okay, people.

With my computerized trip plan,

our two vehicles should never be more than 50 yards apart.

Now, I've planned our exact route,

fuel stops, and food breaks.

I've also done a little research.

Did you know the cleanest restroom in California

is actually at a Mobil Station in Barstow?

Well, doesn't everybody know that?

C'mon, let's do it, let's go.

I'll miss you.

I will miss you more.

Oh, come on.

- Come on, Zack, we're late. - One more.

- Come on. - One more.

- Ah, you're killing me. - Okay, okay, okay.

Let's do it.

Next stop, Vegas.

I love weddings, they are so romantic.

Hey, remember when we all dressed up as brides

in the seventh grade?

Yeah, I know, I get to do it for real.

Have you thought about your dress?

Are you kidding?

I got 60 back issues of Bride Magazine.

You know, Zack's even more excited than I am.

He can't talk about anything else.

So, whoa, whoa, whoa,

you're telling me that Jean-Claude Van Damme

is tougher than Steven Seagal, no way.

Van Damme can take out a whole army.

And Steven Seagal can't?

Hey, guys, you know who's a lot tougher than he looks?

Martin Short.

Alright, alright, alright, forget tough guys.

The best baseball player?

- Barry Bonds. - There ya go.

- That's right. - Wait,

best American chess player?

Then I like curtains in the kitchen,

and little pots on the windowsill,

all filled with flowers.

Kelly, that is so Brady Bunch.

I know, I love that house.

Best Sports Illustrated swimsuit model?

Elle Macpherson.

Yeah, this is great, man.

You're gonna ruin it all by getting married, Zack.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, just drive, Slater, will ya?

Hey, you know what,

what do you say, we three bachelors,

drive down to Mexico and all go fishing for the week, huh?

- Huh? - I don't know.

Where are the girls, have you seen them?

No, they're not anywhere behind us.

Pull over, Slater.

Great man, we're two miles out of L.A.,

and we've already lost the girls.

Hello?

Hello, where are you?

We're on the Santa Monica Freeway going east.

Where are you?

Well, we're sitting here on the side of the road,

waiting for you.

Listen, if you girls can't keep up.

Hey, we girls are perfectly capable

of driving to Las Vegas without you

having to lead us there by the nose.

In fact, I'll bet you dinner we'll beat you there.

Oh, you're on.

Hey, guys, they bet us they'd beat us to Vegas.

Let's go.

How did we get so far from the highway?

I don't believe this.

I can't get anything.

We're too far out.

Great, the car's broken down.

We're in the middle of nowhere.

The heat is stifling, and I'm low on lip gloss.

Take it easy, Lisa.

I'm sure Zack will be by to save us.

Oh, boy, you really are in love.

Zack, your stupid shortcut

isn't anywhere near the main highway.

That's why they call it a shortcut, Slater.

No girl's gonna beat me to Las Vegas.

That's the spirit.

Step on it, Zack.

Slow down, Zack.

Hi, there.

Hi, there.

So, ah, what's the problem, officer?

Well, you boys been speeding through my county.

Mm, I hate that.

Nobody speeds through my county and gets away with it.

You know, now that you mention it,

I, I guess I was going a tad too fast.

A tad.

I had you boys clocked at 85 miles an hour.

That's 20 over the speed limit.

Have you any idea how long it takes

to stop a vehicle going 85 miles an hour?

732 feet, sir.

You trying to be funny, boy?

Well, no sir, I was just using the standard formula

of eight feet a second.

Drop it, Screech.

License and registration.

Where you boys from?

Los Angeles.

You see, sir, I'm on way to get married in Las Vegas.

My fiance's waiting, so if you could give me my ticket,

we'll be on our way.

Los Angels, huh?

Do you ever, do you ever meet that girl,

that girl that plays Blossom?

- No. - Good actress.

Can't dance worth a lick, though.

Why in the world they let that girl dance

at the beginning of every show is beyond me.

Yeah, well, ah, we'll take to them

when we get back to L.A.

You do that, where's your registration?

Uh, you know what, I'm sorry, sir,

but I must have lost it.

You lost your registration?

Oh, that is a no-no.

That is a big no-no.

- That's bad? - Oh, very bad.

I'm gonna have run you boy's plates.

You wait right here.

How could you lose your registration?

I don't know, I was cleaning out my glove compartment

last week, I must have thrown it out by accident.

I keep the registration for my bike

pinned to my underwear.

Why didn't I think of that?

- Yep. - Sending a roger.

Well,

there's good news and there's bad news.

Well, what's the bad news?

Bad news is this car is showing up stolen.

- What? - Mm.

Oh, no, that's impossible, sir, you see--

Are you calling me a liar, boy?

No, no, sir, I just think there's some kind of mistake,

because I cleaned out this--

I don't think so.

I'm gonna have to take you boys in.

Well, what's the good news?

Oh, good news is my wife's

makin' pot roast for dinner.

Okay, boys, just get outta the car now.

Slow, real slow.

Come on, is this really necessary?

Don't tell me how to do my job.

I hate that.

Will you stand still?

Oh, sorry, I'm just a little ticklish.

I get it from my dad.

He can't even scrub himself in the shower without laughing.

You have the right to remain silent.

I do wish you would.

What's this?

Oh, that, that's a Pez Dispenser.

You want one? It's cherry.

Are you trying to bribe me, son?

Ah, sir, sir, please, don't pay attention to him.

See, as a child, he was dropped on his head repeatedly.

Well, I'm gonna have to cuff you boys.

- Oh. - It's just procedure.

I hope Zach isn't worried about us.

The worst part about this is I owe him a dinner.

Hey, someone's coming.

Hey, over here, over here.

Look at him, Kelly.

He looks like some kind of grungy hippie.

Lisa, he's the first human being we've seen in an hour.

Looks like you girls could use some help.

No, we'll be fine without you.

In fact, we're enjoying the scenery.

Ah, don't listen to her.

Actually, we're stuck here,

and we'd really appreciate some help.

Well, sure, I'm Curt Martin.

I'm Kelly, she's Lisa.

Um, what are you doing out here

in the middle of nowhere, if I can ask?

You can ask.

I teach school at the Indian Reservation

a couple of miles from here.

Never thought a yuppie car like this would break down.

Ah, yuppie car?

Excuse me, but what do you drive?

A VW Van with flowers and piece signs painted all over it?

I don't own a car.

I get by fine without material things.

Including a comb.

So, ah, what do you thinks wrong with the car?

Fan belt broke and overheated the radiator.

Can you fix it?

Maybe, I'm gonna need your belt.

No way.

This is an Italian import.

Lisa, will you give it to him?

We wanna get out of here, don't we?

Come on.

Alright, boys, you go right on through there,

and stand on the side.

Suspicion of grand theft auto.

Book 'em, Dano.

Yes, sir.

Start it up.

I'm gonna need that water for the radiator.

All of it?

Yeah, yuppie car needs yuppie water.

Careful, that stuff's eight bucks a gallon.

I think it's gonna work.

It'll at least get us to Vegas.

Us?

Yeah, I was on my way to the highway

to hitch a ride when I met you.

Well, we'll take you.

It's the least we can do.

What's in Las Vegas?

I work at a hotel part of the year to make ends meat.

Appreciate the ride.

Now we can get to know each other.

You, sit in the back.

Is she always this friendly?

Mr. Dano, sir, can I call you Dano?

Sir, this is one big mistake.

That's right, we are not car thieves.

- No. - Sir, we've never done

anything wrong in our lives.

Well, okay, okay, one time we cheated

on a philosophy test, but--

You know, you have the right to a lawyer?

How are we gonna find a lawyer out here?

Don't worry guys, I took a semester

of pre-law in high school.

Do you know the words due process?

Do you know the words shut up?

Yes, sir, I hear them everyday.

Well, I got some more good news and some more bad news.

And the bad news being?

The bad news is the car's reported stolen,

and you boys fit the description of the three suspects.

- Aw. - And the good news?

Oh, the good news is that we transferred some prisoners,

so there's room in the jail.

You're gonna put us in jail?

Lock 'em up, Dano.

I guess I can kiss that summer job with the FBI goodbye.

Wow, I can't believe we're in the big house.

Shut up, Screech.

Man, I gotta get out of here.

I'm supposed to get married, I can't be in jail.

Hey, marriage is jail, buddy.

Hey, you guys wanna keep it quiet over there?

I'm trying to work on a sonnet.

He's very rude, isn't he?

Yeah, you try telling him that.

What are you fellas in for?

Nothing, it's a big mistake.

Me, too.

What'd they get your for?

Well, I went for a drive with my wife.

Is that a crime?

Of course not.

They arrested you for that?

What did your wife say?

Nothing, she was in the trunk.

And they call me a psycho.

Zack, I'm scared.

Oh, Lisa, I don't believe this place.

All the lights, all the people.

This is so exciting.

Yes, the town that never sleeps.

Thanks for the ride, girls.

Oh, thanks for fixing our car.

Great talking to you, Lisa.

I'm sure we'll be seeing more of each other.

Don't count on it.

I think he likes you.

Please, spare me.

Right through here, sir.

- Right over there? - Yeah.

Are you sure Zack Morris hasn't checked in?

Sorry, but he hasn't checked in yet.

I'll just get somebody to help you to your room.

- Okay. - Thank you.

Hey, long time, no see.

What are you doing here?

Just earning a living.

I bet you girls are big tippers.

So where is Zack?

I'll bet he's getting cold feet.

Lisa, will you stop it.

You're making me nervous.

Zack has become a whole new person since we found love.

He's mature and responsible.

Screech, could you please stop that.

Hey, I like it.

Now you play it again, Screech.

Thanks, Ray.

Anyone wanna dance?

Now, he scares me.

Well, I've just got the word from Sacramento.

I guess that was your car after all.

That's what I've been trying

to tell you all along, sheriff, we're innocent.

What about me?

You punched out an ATM Machine, that's a big, no-no.

I'm surprised, Ray.

That's a big, big no-no.

Please, don't help me out on my no-no's.

So, we can go, right?

Mm, oh, yeah.

Right after you appear in court on your speeding violation.

Court, I can't appear in the court.

I have to get to Las Vegas to get married.

Can't he just pay a fine?

We don't do that kind of thing in this county.

Course, I might be able to pull some strings.

It's gonna cost ya, though.

How much?

How much ya got?

A lot, Zach has $1200.00.

Screech?

Is that a coincidence or what?

That's exactly what it costs.

Come on, sheriff, you can't do this.

Well, you could spend your honeymoon in here

with Herb and Ray.

Oh, do it, Zack.

There's no price for freedom, man.

Sure there is, Ray, 1200 bucks.

So, Screech, where can I reach you, man?

I'm in the book, Ray.

Look at that.

The Considine Diamond.

That's $4 million dollars.

I think I'll wait 'til the after Christmas sale.

Someone's actually gonna buy this?

Yes, my future husband.

Hey, let's not wait for the guys.

Let's have some fun on our own.

Alright, what do you have in mind?

How would you like your wedding present right now?

Alright, guys, now remember,

not a word to Kelly about what happened.

I mean, if she knew that our $1200.00 wedding stash

is now 43 bucks, she'd kill me.

Hey, what kind of wedding are you gonna have for 43 bucks?

Guess you're gonna have to cut back on the ice sculptures.

Oh, well thank you, Mr. Zack's got $1200.00.

All I need to do is just stall Kelly,

so I can raise enough money for the wedding.

What's that look for?

I'm in love.

Yeah, so what else is new?

Zack.

Hey, Kelly.

- You made it. - Yeah, of course.

I'm sorry we're late.

We just got stopped for speeding,

and we were hassled by some country sheriff,

but, hey, nothing's gonna stop me from getting married.

Oh, Zack, this town is such a rush.

I can't wait to start planning the wedding.

I have so many ideas.

That $1200.00 dollars is gonna go really fast.

You have no idea.

Hey, we're gonna go get something to eat.

You owe me dinner, remember?

Ah, yeah, yeah, how could I forget?

You know, I'm not that hungry.

They fed us pretty well in the slammer.

What?

Um, the slammer,

it was this funky Tex-Mex place in Barstow.

- Yeah, listen, you girls - Oh.

get started, we'll just check in,

we'll meet you in the restaurant.

- Okay, see you later. - Alright.

Guys, I gotta make some money and fast.

Hey, why don't you try your luck at the tables?

Zack, you only have 40 bucks.

If you lose that, you won't be able

to afford lunch with Kelly,

and then she'll really get suspicious.

See man, he's got a point.

You know what, I have some friends

who made big money last summer caddying for businessmen.

All you gotta do is carry their clubs,

keep their scores low.

You can make a couple hundred day on tips.

Hey, if we all do that and pool our money together,

you can make your 1200 back in no time.

- Yeah. - Yeah, that sounds good.

Alright, gentlemen, let's hit the links.

Yes.

- Remember, stay cool. - No problem.

We'll have that money in no time.

Guys, here they come.

You guys ever caddy this course before?

Oh, yes, sir, many times.

I'll take him.

Listen,

we're playing for big money, kid,

so I want every advantage I can get.

You get my drift?

Drift well taken, sir.

Do you know anything about reading greens?

Well, I've cut a lotta lawns in my time.

So I guess it's me and you?

Yep.

Can you swim?

Why?

This water's gross.

Yes.

Oh, good shot, sir.

That was a piece of grass, you idiot.

Can't you keep quiet?

Sorry.

Stop.

What?

What?

Oh, there was a ladybug on your ball, sir.

I didn't want you to kill it.

I'm all out of balls.

No kidding.

Run down to the pro shop and buy me a dozen.

St. John party,

please check in at the pro shop.

St. John party to the pro shop.

Hey, I saw you in the lobby last night.

So, you work here?

Uh, yeah, yeah, I manage the pro shop.

I'm A.C. Slater.

Carla.

Well, Carla, I know we just met,

but I'm gonna be in town for a few days,

maybe we can get together some time?

Um, thanks, but I don't think so.

Will this be all?

For now.

Where are those caddies?

Zack, help.

Screech, slow down.

I can't, the pedal's stuck.

Well, take your foot off the pedal.

I did, it's still stuck.

Now put your foot on the brake.

It's not working either.

Watch out for the tree.

A tree.

Screech,

put your foot on the pedal.

I'm trying Zack, but I'm scared.

Don't be scared, buddy, just grab my hand.

I can't, Zack, it's going too fast.

Try to jump over here, jump in my car.

Alright, I'm next to you.

Reach my hand, come on.

Come on.

Hurry, jump in here, Screech.

Screech, now.

That's a $1,000.00 worth of clubs, you morons.

You will never caddy again in this country.

You're fired and you can tell

that other jerk he's fired, too.

Come on.

Zack, hey, pass it to me.

No harm, no foul.

Oh, this feels great.

Oh, has anyone seen my nose plugs?

We haven't had this much fun since high school.

Yeah, and you guys are gonna go off and get married.

- Hey. - Ooh, I know.

Did I ever tell you I love you?

Oh, not in the last, hmm, seven minutes.

Oh, I called the wedding coordinator.

We're gonna meet her tomorrow at 10.

- 10. - I think it's gonna be

really nice if we just stretch our money.

Right.

What money?

Excuse me? Uh-um.

You're in my lounge.

Well there's plenty of room for two.

Sorry I was so, ah, abrupt at that golf course.

No problem, I like a challenge.

Well that's good to know.

So, it must be pretty exciting

living here in Las Vegas, huh?

Yeah, yeah, oh, sometimes a little too exciting.

What do you mean?

That's enough about me.

Tell me about you.

There you go.

Oh, Screech, I don't know what to do.

Oh, definitely go with the bananas and the nachos.

I'm not talking about the food, idiot.

I'm talking about Kelly.

She wants to get married in two days,

and I'm completely broke.

You know, I couldn't help but overhearing.

I tried not to hear, but the words went right into my ear,

slammed against the eardrum.

I don't know, it's a curse.

Anyway, I'd like to help the two of you out.

Have you two very nice looking gentlemen,

ever considered a career in the exciting

and challenging field of

male escorts?

Actually,

no.

That's funny how you never see

a male escort booth on career day.

- Ah, thanks, but no thanks. - Here you go, guys.

Look, it's strictly on the up and up.

You meet very nice people.

I said, we're not interested.

Okay, suit yourself.

Starting salary is $200.00 a day.

I'm Zack Morris, this is Screech Powers.

And I'm Bert, Bert Banner,

but you can call me Bert Banner.

Oh, look at the two of you.

I bet you have the fight the women off with a stick.

Well, with me it's actually more like a twig.

You're funny, you're funny, and I like funny.

Look, this is a legitimate operation, I'm running here.

There's no, ah, you know, hanky panky going on.

It's just nice women who want nice young men

to show 'em around town.

When do you wanna start?

The sooner the better.

That's what I wanna hear.

When I get through with the two of you,

you're gonna be smooth, suave and sophisticated.

Pickle?

So how 'bout dinner?

Um, I'm not so sure that's a good idea.

Come on, are you kidding?

It's a great idea.

Okay, okay, you're on.

Alright.

We better,

we better keep our eyes on this guy.

You're right, he could be trouble.

Alright, let's go, come on.

Ooh, I like that floral arrangement.

Oh, and of course we can color coordinate

that with the table clothes.

Ah, Kelly, I have found the perfect wedding gown.

Look at that.

- Ah. - Oh, you've got

great taste, now that dress is $3,000.00.

Thanks again, Lisa.

Oh, sorry.

Hey, where is Zack?

He was supposed to be here at 10.

He'll be here.

I don't know, Kelly, he might be changing his mind.

After all, he is Zack.

Thanks for the reminder.

Look, if Zack isn't here,

I'm sure he's got a very good reason.

A,

E,

I,

O,

U.

How now

brown

cow?

Perfect, you guys were born for this.

I knew I was born for something.

Ah, well, now that we've mastered posture and diction,

let's go over our manners.

What are our list of nevers?

Ah, never talk about yourself.

Right.

Never pick up a check.

Perfect, and that's just good life advice.

Never criticize, even if she has lettuce in her teeth

or eyeliner on her nose.

Yes,

and never sneeze in her salad.

- Mm. - You'd be surprised

how often that happens.

- Eh. - Yes.

Okay, let's have a dry run.

Now, Screech.

Oh, I hate that name.

Ah, just call me Samuel, sir.

Samuel? that's boring.

Sammy.

Sammy, I like it.

Listen, sir, I'm late for an appointment,

when do we start?

Tonight, you're gonna be meeting your date

at the top of Strip Restaurant at 8 o'clock,

and be prompt.

Yes, sir.

Now, Sammy, you be outside your hotel at 6 p.m.

Don't forget, 6 o'clock.

A pink limousine will pick you up.

A pink limo?

Wow, I've arrived.

Hi, yeah, I know.

Where have you been, you're an hour late.

I can explain.

Ah, this outta be good.

I was running all around town

looking for the right tuxedo.

I mean, you have no idea.

What's the matter with you?

You've been acting funny ever since you got here.

Is something wrong?

No, no, of course not.

You're not getting cold feet

about getting married, are you?

Oh, no, please, don't be crazy, Kelly, I love you.

Well this is really starting to come together,

and we can use the money we have if we just be creative.

Oh, very creative.

And we can get by with finger foods.

No one eats at weddings anyways.

- No. - And we can use

the flowers from a funeral,

if a florist has one that day.

Well, let's keep a good thought.

Oh, I almost forgot.

I made dinner reservations for tonight

at the most romantic restaurant in Las Vegas.

- Oh. - Top Of The Strip.

Oh, that's great.

What did you say, Top of the Strip?

Yeah, 8 o'clock.

Got the best table.

8 o'clock?

Kelly, that's too late to eat.

You know, everybody knows the real fresh food

is just out by six.

Let's just change our reservations to four.

4 o'clock dinner?

Gee, that's romantic.

What are you gonna do, help 'em set the table?

Are you sure

you're not hiding something?

Of course not.

Top of the Strip, 8 o'clock.

Okay.

Can I give you a hand with those, ma'am?

You again?

So you're a doorman now?

Yeah, I do a little bit of everything.

I've been employee of the month nine times.

Well, that's great because this morning,

you were a lousy waiter.

My breakfast was cold.

C'mon, Lisa, give me a break.

I get off in awhile, how 'bout dinner?

There's a $4.99 prime rib dinner at the Hungry Steer.

Really, can I also hit the salad bar

and get two desserts?

Why not, it's only money.

Okay, but promise me you won't wear sandals.

You're on.

Okay.

So, you're Sammy.

Aren't you a cute one.

Thank you, ma'am.

The name's Diana, love,

but you can call me, Di.

Mm, you smell divine.

What's that scent you're wearing?

Oh, ah, nothing, I spilled Lavoris on my undershirt.

Hmm, it becomes you, Sammy.

Well, thank you, Di.

You are such a hunk.

You must live in the gym.

No, ah, not really, but I can do five pull ups.

Six, if I get a boost.

I'll give you a boost, Sammy.

Oh, hey, well.

Well, looky there, Baywatch, cool.

Television's for the masses, Sammy,

not for evolved people like us.

What's your pleasure tonight?

Chamber music, opera.

Actually, I hear there's a great video arcade downtown.

I know,

do you tango?

Oh, Zack this restaurant is so romantic.

Ah, yeah, right.

Well, let's order.

Ah, waiter, waiter.

Zack, what's the big rush?

You got another date?

Another date?

Oh, that's a good one, Kell.

Oh, well, ah, listen, I gotta use the restroom.

- I'll be back in a jiffy. - Okay.

Excuse me.

Oh, boy, she would have to be gorgeous.

Hello, I'm Zack Morris, I'll be your escort for the evening.

Ah, if I can ask,

why does a great looking woman like you need to rent a date?

Excuse, um, but speak just little English.

I Russian.

I'm gonna kick your butt, Bert Banner.

Bert Banner, I kick your butt.

Yeah, yeah.

Excuse me, I'll, I'll be right back.

- Hi, Kell. - Hey.

What took you so long?

Well, you know, men's rooms.

Lines, lines, lines.

Well, let's eat, I'm starving.

Okay, I know what I want.

Zack, slow down.

Let's enjoy the evening.

Ooh, great specials.

You know, the Russian dish looks really good.

No she doesn't.

So my dad's in the Army.

So like, I grew up all over the world before I moved to L.A.

Oh, Army brat, huh?

Yeah, I guess so.

But, hey, that's just an expression.

So, I bet you had a girl in every country.

No one special.

What about you?

Do you have a boyfriend?

no.

I'm back.

I kick your butt, Bert Banner.

Very good.

But that expression doesn't come up too often.

Listen, ah, Katrina, I have a confession.

You see, I like you, but I'm gonna be married soon.

- Married? - Yeah.

- Me, you? - Shh.

Oh, no, shh.

I don't believe this.

Kelly, listen, I can explain.

You're the same old Zack.

Hitting on another girl right in front of me.

You know, Lisa was right.

I've been kidding myself all along.

No, No, Kelly, you don't understand.

Yeah, I understand.

For the first time ever, I understand.

You are scum.

And you,

you homewrecker.

I kick your butt.

Oh, yeah, you wanna go for it right now?

No, no, no, Kelly, stop.

Don't touch me.

I never wanna see you again.

Kelly?

Go away.

Kelly, let me in.

Come on, Kell, at least give me a chance to explain.

What's to explain?

I saw you with another woman, you creep.

She wasn't another woman, she was my date.

I mean, it's not a real date.

C'mon, Kell, it's not what you think, just...

So, you're a college wrestler.

- Yep. - Well, I guess I better

watch out or you'll pin me.

Well, if I'm lucky, you'll pin me.

Um, I know this really great club downtown.

Would you like to go dancing later?

Yeah, yeah, I'd love to go dancing.

Alright, Carla, you've had your fun.

Now the game's over, let's go.

Would you leave me alone.

In a word, no.

Who is this guy?

I'm her boyfriend, pal.

Ex-boyfriend, and I told you,

I don't wanna see you anymore.

And I told you that was unacceptable.

Now listen, pal, the lady said

she doesn't wanna see you anymore.

And who are you, here interpreter?

Yeah, I am.

Great, the high school jock thinks he's a tough guy now.

Don't mess with me, kid.

Freddie, please.

Look, if you don't leave us alone,

I'm gonna have to escort you out.

You're gonna escort me out?

I would love to see that.

C'mon, tough guy, c'mon.

I said, c'mon.

Oh, no, run.

Why, he's not getting up.

Run.

- Uh-oh. - Security.

Come on, come on.

- Hey, boss? - Go get 'em.

Waiter.

Let me go.

Hey, hey, slow down.

Hey, slow down.

Oh, boy.

Alright, Carla, what's going on?

The man you hit is Freddie Silver.

He's a bad guy with bad connections,

and when I found out who he really was,

I broke up with him.

Yeah, well he didn't break up with you.

Oh, he's a dangerous man, A.C.

Those two guys chasing us, they're his bodyguards.

Great.

Uh, hotel security, open up.

You are good.

Hotel security, open up.

Come on.

- Zack? - Oh, whoa.

Hey, Slater, you got great timing.

Don't worry, buddy, just hang on, okay?

Everything's gonna work out alright if you just stay calm.

So just hang on.

Hold on.

Would you hurry up a little?

- Kelly? - Zack, what are you

doing out there?

I was coming to see you.

Oh, Zack, this is all my fault.

I should have just let you in.

Listen, Kelly, that girl was nobody.

You see, we got stopped for speeding,

and we were taken to jail

because Slater cleaned out his glove compartment,

and he took all my money and now I'm dead broke.

That's why I got the job as a male escort,

so I could pay for the wedding.

Kelly, I love you.

You're the only girl for me.

Oh, Zack, I love you, too.

Listen, don't let go, okay?

Okay.

Oh, this is so romantic.

Who are you?

I'm Carla.

I'm Slater's friend.

Guys, we'll chat later, okay?

Zack, give me your hand, I'm gonna pull you up, okay?

Come on, ready?

Come on pull.

- Got it? - Got it.

I got it.

- You got it? - Okay.

Oh, Kell.

You should be hugging him.

Thanks, buddy.

Alright, man.

It's okay.

What about her?

Alright, Carla, you ready?

Look, Zack, I don't care if you're broke.

I mean, we'll just get married

in one of those, you know, flinky little chapels.

A real quickie.

Yeah, well it'll have to be a quickie

'cause someone's trying to kill me.

- What? - What?

I am never vacationing with you people again.

Now, now, Carla, I still don't get it.

Now why so much heat just

because I punched out your boyfriend?

Well, there's a little more to it than that.

You see, a couple days ago,

I walked in on a conversation I was never supposed to hear.

Oh, no.

Freddie came to Las Vegas to steal the Considine Diamond.

Oh, I heard that thing's worth millions.

Yeah, and the minute that I learned

what Freddie was up to,

I, I walked out or I tried to walk out.

Now he's trying to shut me up.

Well, we gotta figure out a way

to get you guys outta here.

Yeah.

I got an idea.

Give me the phone.

Okay, follow me and stay cool.

Ah, excuse me, sir, pardon me.

Ah, your car should be here any minute.

I hope you've enjoyed your stay here at the Stardust.

Zack, help.

Let me go.

This lady made me tango against my will.

- Don't go. - No, no, no, no.

Ooh, there they are.

Go, come on, let's go.

- Come on. - Come on, Screech.

Hey, guys, wait for me.

Oh, my head.

Hey, hey, that's my cab.

I've seen those guys before.

They work for Freddie Silver.

Your friends are in big trouble.

- Let's go. - We're going after them.

They're about a half a block behind us in the yellow cab.

Come on, step on it, Zack.

They're gonna catch us.

I'm driving as fast as I can.

I don't get it, why are you two guys being followed?

It's a long story, Screech,

but these people are trying to kill us.

Whoa, I should have taken my chances

with that crazy tango lady.

I don't like this.

Faster, can't you go any faster?

Can't you shut up, I'm going as fast as I can.

If you'd a let me drive,

we'd have caught 'em by now.

Yeah, you drive like a woman.

I'm gonna tell Freddie.

I'm gonna tell Freddie.

Put your big head down, you might be able to see.

Well, I'm still gonna tell.

Will you shut up and look for 'em.

Why am I losing them?

I know a shortcut.

Hang to left and cut through that parking lot,

and we'll catch up with them at the,

at the next intersection.

Doesn't this Beemer come with any air sickness bags?

Hang on.

Oh, man, a red light.

- Come on. - Oh, no.

Oh, no, oh, no, we gotta run for it.

There they are, let's go.

Hey, what are you doing, huh?

Go, go.

Wow, it's Rodney.

Ooh, ooh, that's Dirty Harry.

I love him.

Yeah, well I'm gonna make your day,

if you don't stop with that Dirty Harry stuff.

Come on, we gotta find those kids.

Alright, let's get outta here.

I can't believe I came to Las Vegas

to get married and now I'm running for my life.

Well, I know what you mean.

I have so much yet I still have to accomplish.

Graduate college, climb Mt. Everest,

pass my driving test.

Why do they put those driving cones so close together?

Screech, please, shut up.

Carla, did you try going to the police?

I couldn't, I've been followed 24 hours a day.

What are you people doing in here?

These, these guys are chasing us.

And they're trying to kill us.

And I'm just a big Liberace fan.

Well, leave Liberace alone,

and get out of here before I call the cops.

Oh, could you call the cops, please?

Get out, now.

I guess we don't have time to meet Marilyn Monroe?

- Out. - Come on.

I don't see 'em.

Me neither.

Man, keep looking.

That was too close.

- Yeah, I'm so glad it's over. - What a night.

Hey, that's them.

Come on, let's get 'em.

Come on, here, here.

Come on, give me that, come on.

Hey, watch out.

Come on, let's go.

There they are.

Pull over there.

Let's go, come on.

Over here.

My whole life's passing before my eyes.

You know, it's time like this you realize what's important.

Yeah, isn't it something how women's feet

are so much more delicate than men's?

What's it like to be you?

That's funny, my dad asked me that the other day.

Oh, oh, my.

Oh, there they are.

Hey, hey, over here.

Zack, there's no way outta here.

I want my mommy.

- Yeah, right here - Whoa, whoa, whoa,

- wait a minute. - Can you please help me

- with this headpiece? - Yeah, bobby pin.

There might be a way.

I, Zack's got pretty nice legs.

Listen, we need to get them outta here.

I know a shortcut from the backstage, come on.

What do you think you're doing?

I'm calling security.

Ah, we're security here, okay.

We'll take care of 'em.

Oh, thank you, that's very nice,

but we, we can take care of ourselves.

Right this way, folks.

Oh, well, well.

Hello, ladies.

You know, if you had just wanted to get into show business,

you should have given me a call.

I coulda have pulled a few strings.

Oh, little smudgie, smudgie right there, right there.

Freddie, let 'em go, there not a part of this.

Yeah, she's right, we don't anything about anything.

- Ah. - And besides,

we don't care if you wanna rob a jewelry store.

Oh, jeez.

Tell you what, let's us go,

and do whatever you want with him.

No one's goin' anywhere.

You give me one good reason,

why I shouldn't kill all of ya's right now?

The three strikes and you're out rule?

Shut up, you idiot.

Look, sir, Zach and I, well we're supposed to get married,

and you know, if you could let us go.

Yeah, just us.

You are so innocent.

I love that in a girl,

but sorry, no one's getting married.

Freddie, please, just--

Just nothin', I'm calling the shots here now.

Ah, Mr. Silver, maybe I can be of some help here.

Really, and you would be, ah?

Curt Martin, sir.

My father owns the Stardust.

- Really? - Really?

Curt, why didn't you say something before?

I mean, all this time I thought you were

just a lowly bellman.

Lisa, I don't believe in

using my father's money or influence.

Well, why not?

It's the best kind of money and influence.

You are so material.

You are just finding that out?

Excuse me, sorry to interrupt.

You, put that in your diary later on, okay?