Original subtitles

I just flew around bullseye. There's a rate for 20.

I had a radar hit and I was going in and looked like 30 knots and there was something there that looked like a bird.

What the fuck, Oh, what the fuck, what the fuck, what the fuck.

He, guys.

Fuck.

Did we scrumble yet?

Ahh, fuck, we lost it.

Bulb effect is properly rated dude. I mean, you'll see little kids in bulb effect costumes on Halloween. You don't see anybody in that neon number costume do you?

Alright, I'll give you the fact that people seem to be on board with liking bulb effect. We know who is the most underrated character. John Otis?

Yes. He is such an amazing little gem inside a new home.

A fun fact, he's also in Raiders. He's one of the guys that shows up on campus to talk to Dr. Jones.

Really? But I digress. We're running out of time. Anyway, this has been Corellians in Frater's Drinking Coffee. I'm Joe and I'm Murphy. We'll see you Monday.

You got it.

Working with the Raiders? Yeah, he's one of the two guys that meets up with him after the class. Oh, he's right in the library. Yeah, yeah. We'll see you Monday. Yep. Cool.

Here's the outline for Monday's show.

I'll let this over tonight, I promise.

She still won't let you have a bachelor party.

No, it's just, you know, she thinks I'll get myself into trouble.

And you're not worried about what we're doing tonight?

No, I mean, you guys just tossed and wandered a bunch of oiled-up dudes and G-strings gyrating to the village people.

I do want details Monday, though.

Oh, I'm just wanted to see Chrissy.

Yeah.

Give me a favor and get her drunk. Oh, hell's yeah.

Nice. Pictures, too... Lots of pictures.

What? I'm gonna tell him.

We agreed we wouldn't.

Susan, I am your lover. Prepare to be boarded.

Turn that off.

Come on, you get time for a quickie? You have three parsecs.

Can you wait until I get home tonight?

I'll be up.

Out.

Zipp me up.

Hold on one second.

Come on, zipp me up.

Gee.

Oh.

Please slow.

Sorry, there. There we go.

What the fuck.

Cool.

Joe, I thought we talked about this. Your toy should stay in the bedroom.

Honey, that is not a toy. That is a collector's item.

You know, I think that maybe we should have a garage sale. You know, get rid of some of the stuff we won't have space for.

Yeah. I've been meaning to talk to you about that. This place is looking a little HGTV for my taste.

It's called style. And I thought this was going to be our home together.

It is. It's going to be our house.

They're here. They're here.

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Before you go. I know you said no parties, right? But your brother called and he wants to bring over a few beers. You know, have some fun.

No. No.

My brother's bachelor party was hookers and lollipop tricks. That's why he's not married anymore.

Hey, come on. He's just going to get you into trouble. Hmm? Let me have this one night. Please.

Okay. Have fun.

Thank you. Thank you.

I love you.

I love you.

Don't wait up.

I'll be up. Like I said, and aboard you.

Wow.

Oh, I come in peace. I come in peace.

Duh duh duh duh duh, no? Candy.

What's wrong?

Hey, uh, yeah, the Reese's Pieces I had. What happened to those?

I threw them out.

Uh, what about the M&Ms?

Those too. We talked about cutting down ends.

Okay, I love you. Bye. Shit.

Hey, little guy. You're not gonna eat my face, right?

What's up?

Dude, I'm all the way over.

Uh, um, wait. Uh, your sister said no one can come over.

Did you go up vagina?

Yeah, a big vagina. I gotta go.

Dude, I'm pulling up right now.

Hey... Welcome... to Earth. Can you be quiet?

It's okay. It's okay. It's okay.

Uh... You stay here, okay? Just be quiet. Be right back.

Bro. Let's get this party started.

Uh, I can't. I made a deal with your sister.

She'll get over it. Paul's gonna meet us over at Beer Ball and Boobs.

Look, she said no strip clubs.

It's a pool hall.

Yeah, with strippers.

Man, beer? Bro. It's your last week of freedom.

Bro, she's your sister.

You're gonna let some pretty little thing rub up against your dick one last time before you lock it away forever, man.

Okay, all right. How about this? You go? I'll meet you there.

You're coming with me.

It's like a Shrek blue load on your face.

Uh, that's... that's hair gel. Yeah.

Bro. If you're not there in an hour, I wanna bring all the strippers here.

No, uh, no strippers, okay? I will meet you there, I promise.

I'm not kidding.

I'm not either, okay? I'll see you there.

All right, bye.

Wept.

Uh... Do you speak? Okay, I don't know what that means. Um, this is crazy.

Uh... Okay, I'm just going by the seat of my pants here, but do you understand what I'm saying?

I guess not. Uh, okay. That's uh... It's okay. That's Blaire O'Connor. Yeah, great actress. That's from her movie 'The Last Planet'.

You look just... Hey, what are you... Oh, God.

Did you just scan me?

Can you tell I'm a friend?

Uh... We gotta get you cleaned up.

Cool.

Oh, uh... Yeah, um...

You can't go walking around like that. Um, it's okay. It's okay. Put that over your head. Okay, yeah. Okay, it's all right. Okay.

Yeah, arms up, arms up.

Uh... Stop moving or else I can't tie it for you. Here we go. Okay.

All right, this is good.

Um... Now we just need a plan.

Um...

Wham.

Wow. Uh, you talk. Okay, that's good.

Um, if you talk, that means we can communicate, and if we can figure out where you're from, or how you got here, or... What?

Where are you going?

You see up there? That's your home. All this stuff. This, is my home. So, that's your home.

Home.

Home.

Right.

Home.

Good, good. Allright, so...

Do you have a name? What is your name?

Okay, um... I'm Joe. Like Joe Biden, Barack Obama. Joe.

I'm gonna be like Barack.

I'm just gonna call you Blaire, for now. Okay, so... Joe,... Blaire.

Joe,... Blaire.

Close. Um, I'm Joe,... Blaire.

You're like a...

You're kinda stuck on that, I see. So, we'll just make that your middle name, for now. I need you to be Blaire, okay? So, I'm Joe,... Blaire.

Blaire.

Just for now.

You guys good?

Ah, I love another.

Kinda slow for a Saturday.

Yeah, we've been slow since Thursday.

We almost got shut down.

Because of the blow jobs in the private rooms.

No.

The girls going home with customers.

No.

So I'm cooking the bathroom.

No, we're not licensed to sell food. But the owner's wife, she started to sell her homemade vegan brownies.

I had that last week. I didn't know it was vegan.

I didn't try it.

Hey, guys.

Hi.

Trying a private dance?

You know I don't have any money.

What about you, man?

I'm hoping my soon-to-be brother-in-law will show up. I'll buy an hour of your dances for him.

He might come, but... He'll leave his dick at home.

What's wrong with him?

Besides marrying my sister? Nothing.

What does he do?

He makes videos about Star Wars on YouTube.

How old is he?

36.

And that's his job.

He makes a shit out of money. 15 million subs.

But you wouldn't know it. Cool guy.

Yeah. Normal house, shitty car. Bitch of a girlfriend.

Dude.

Your words, man.

How about a drink.

Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. No, no, no, no. Put that back. It's sharp. Watch your hand. Okay.

All right. Focus here. Just for a second. Okay.

So, on Earth, we wear clothes. Okay.

You know the uniforms, you know, costumes. Cover up our naughty bits.

You know, like... Like naughty bits.

Bit... Yeah.

Lottie bits.

Right. Good. Okay. So...

Clothes. Okay.

Ghloows.

No, no, those are naughty bits.

Clothes. Clothes.

Cover the naughty bits. Over the naughty bits.

Okay. Clothes.

Clothes.

Good. All right. Now... Let's put some on you. Okay.

Hey. Yeah. Okay.

You can look at those all you want later. Come on. Let's get some clothes.

Clothes.

Close.

Oh yeah, dammit.

Hey, Joe. I brought some stuff over.

Oh, it's Murph. You don't know him. Go ahead.

Yeah. Put's Clothes. Naughty bits. Clothes. Cover yourself up. I'll be back.

I thought you were finishing up the show.

Look what I brought. Cap'n Crunch.

Oh, great. Hey, that's awesome, but Susan could pop by any moment.

Or when you used to binge on this shit?

The midnight special. Breaking out the big guns.

And I know that Susan wants you to cut down on sweets, but I brought you over some Gushers and... Ding Dongs.

Uh, I don't think I've told you enough how excited I am to have you as my best man.

Even if Susan isn't?

Come on. She's jealous.

Of me.

Yeah. Of you, of what you and I have. How close we are. You know, but... I love her though, and I just want to make her happy.

Joe, there's something I have to tell you.

What?

Hey, Murph. This isn't what it looks like.

The fuck it's not. You're Blaire O'Connor.

And I'm Murphy, Joe's best friend.

Clothes.

Yes, and you look great in them.

Easy, Murph.

How do you know Joe?

Bro, you have to trust me. This is beyond what I can explain.

Yeah, no shit. You're the man.

Joe Biden, Barack Obama.

Hey, she's a Democrat. Score.

I will call you later.

Okay, but can I get a photo?

Next time.

No, but how long is she going to be here?

I don't know.

I mean, clearly she's going through some shit.

Naughty bits.

Dude, I get so proud of you right now.

Don't tell anyone.

But who would believe me?

Right.

Yeah, that's Cap'n Crunch. It's food. You eat it.

Yeah, let me show you. Food, right? Mmm. Food.

Yeah, try on. Come on.

Come on.

Yeah. Good, right?

Oh, okay.

All right, so you don't like it, okay? Here, wash it out with this.

Just wash it down, you know?

No, no, no, no, no, that's

Like this, like this. Uhh.

Okay, you zip it. Mmm. Red Bull. Mmm, try it. You drink it. Yeah.

Yeah, just wait. Yeah, good.

Oh. Likee-likee.

Ohh, Captain Bull.

No, no, Red Bull. Red Bull.

Red Bull.

Yeah, yeah, Red Bull.

Red Bull. Red Bull!

Okay, you want another one, all right? All right. Yeah. There.

Yeah, it gives you wings. Okay.

All right, all right, all right.

Red Bull!

Yeah, I guess it doesn't affect you the same way it does humans.

It'll eventually wear off, I promise.

Hey, do you have music? You know, like music?

Music.

Yeah. allright.

Just feel it, you know? Your shoulders, your hands.

Go ahead. Move your body.

Got double a little, you know?

Just a good one. This one? Yeah. Like this.

Cross drive, you know, like, ooh, oh my.

I'm a mysterious alien. Whoo!

And the ritm goes back up. Still have more energy, like this.

The blueprints of a great spaceship engine was stolen a few hours ago. And we also learned that Dr. Yamanaka is missing as well.

256a All of his work has been sabotaged. Have you known who is responsible?

The Dancing Queen lives. How are you feeling?

Home.

Home, yeah.

What is that supposed to do?

Home.

Okay, so you need that to get home. But it's not working, so it's uh broken. Right. Broken.

Broken.

Yeah, broken.

Broken.

So, uh, hold on one second.

266a Okay.

So, broken. Fix.

Fix.

Yeah, broken. Fix..., Home.

Fix.

Yeah, fix.

Fix.

Fix, yeah. Except, I don't know how to fix it. But, I think I know someone who can.

Oh, that's okay. That's a glove box.

People used to put their gloves in there. Now it's just for crap.

Crap.

Crap.

Uh. Glasses.

Yeah. Your eyes.

Like this.

Yeah, open them up. Yeah, other way.

Yeah. Go ahead.

Yeah.

It's dark though you don't really need them, you know.

Yeah, glasses. Yeah.

It's dark though, right? Yeah.

Music.

Yeah, sure music.

There, music.

Red Bull.

Oh, I don't know. I think you should lay off that stuff. You've had enough.

Red Bull!

Alright. Okay.

Red Bull.

Red Bull.

Yeah. Red Bull.

Hello?

Doc, it's me, Joe.

What do you want?

I have a problem. I need some help.

With what?

With this.

This is very interesting.

I know, allright?

But why does she look like Blaire O'Connor?

Well, I had a movie poster from last planet up on my wall.

I don't know, I brought in a four foot slimy green alien. I came back two minutes later to this.

Can you remember this was made for a few hours?

Sure. I need it back by 9 a.m.

Oh, what a rush.

Try explaining that to Susan.

That would take a spot like old bullshit.

Maybe more.

It's going to be 11 before we get to the club. You're being weird.

My brother thinks that bachelor parties are a one night free pass.

Yeh, but that's not Joe.

If you can't trust him. Why even get married?

I'm just saying.

I want a drink, so can you just hurry up and go look?

Joe?

What the fuck.

Nice.

Okay.

Someone took a shower with green shampoo. We don't have green shampoo, unscented.

And there's no way that he drank all that Red Bull.

And what did he need a pillow and blanket for?

Maybe he was having sex with a hooker who loves Cap'n Crunch and Red Bull.

Helpful Stacy.

I'm not there, Susan.

Is he with you?

Are you tracking my phone again?

Is he with you?

No.

Hey, Susan.

Oh, what's up, Karen?

Well, you had your bachelor party tonight.

I do. Can I ask you to stay away from him tonight?

I think you're overreacting.

I want you to find him and have him call me.

I'm confused. Do you want me to be with him or do you not want me to be with him?

I want you to find him, but no strippers.

I prefere entertainance.

I want you to find him and have him call me.

I will see what I can do.

Can I get another drink? Sure.

Me too.

I don't know if you know what's going on.

Fix.

Yeah, fix yeah.

Friend.

Friend, yeah. You and me are friends, right?

Joe Biden, Barack Obama. Friends.

Yeah. Yeah. You and I are definitely friends, but you don't have to call me that. Just Joe.

Just Joe... Biden.

That's not better, but that's progress.

Whoo.

Red Bull.

Yeah, Red Bull.

Blaire! Blaire O'Conner! You're magnificent. I love 'The Last Planet'.

Music.

Right on.

Right on. You're so sexy.

Sexy friends.

Hey, you're the Star Wars guy. Star Wars guuuy.

Oh boy.

Where have you been?

What?

I saw the green shampoo, Red Bull and Blanket on the living room floor. What's going on Joe?

Wait hold on. You were here?

Yes, I forgot my lipstick.

Okay, so Murph brought some food over and I was watching my show on the floor and then I took a shower. Big deal.

What about the shampoo? Green shampoo? Unscented. Does that sound like me?

It sounds bonkers. Okay, I got the shampoo at Costco yesterday. Are you still with the girls?

Hi, Joe.

Will you please get her drunk?

We're trying.

Why are you in the car?

I wanna have some M&M's I know I'm not supposed to have them, but I wanted some so I got the small bag.

Okay. You're right. I'm overreacting. I'm sorry, Joe.

Yeah, it's your night. Okay, go have some fun.

I love you.

I love you too.

Sexy friends.

Joe?

I gotta go.

Joe.

She didn't hear that, right?

Red Bull.

Great.

What?

I think he's a girl over at his house.

Come on, Susan. I offered to get him a stripper and he turned me down.

What? Don't take her.

Uh, I wasn't serious.

Can you go there and check?

You go.

We're almost at the club.

Fine.

It's just her hand.

This is not ending well.

You want another drink?

Okay.

Two more.

Sure.

Oh, shit.

Blaire?

Hey, Blaire. Come on, we gotta go.

Music!

Yeah, she loves to dance. Yeah.

Blaire.

Oh, dude. Leave when she's ready.

You don't understand.

No, bro. You don't understand.

You're right. She'll leave once she's ready.

Blaire. Hey, Blaire. Red Bull.

Red Bull.

Lots of Red Bull.

Come on, that's it. That's it, that's it.

Your favorite. Come on. Yeah, yeah. You're going.

You got it. Ha ha ha.

Don't run off on me like that, okay? We're a team.

Wow. That is...

Ha ha ha ha. That's a burp.

It's a burp.

Burp.

Yeah, burp. Yeah.

Burp.

Burp.

Burp.

Burp. Yeah.

Yeah.

Home.

Fix.

Yeah, he 'll call us when it's fixed. Let's go see Murph.

Well, you relax. Let's just have a good time tonight. Something is not right.

435a I know cheaters and Joe is not one of them.

Are you sure you want to get married?

Yes, Stacy's right. Why are you so concerned?

I don't know.

Hey, let's get drunk. Woo! Yeah! Finally.

She looks just like her.

What am I going to do if I can't get her home?

Well, you could keep her.

It's not a straycat, Murph. I'm getting married next weekend.

Susan already knows something's up and she sees me good. Blaire O'Conner, I mean with this? It's over.

Well, we can't turn her in.

Stop talking about her like she's a thing or property.

What are you doing?

No. No, do not. Do not post that. Stop.

Come on. If our audience sees this, you with Blaire O'Connor, then we'll have the number one show on YouTube.

No one can see that, okay? Nobody.

Please?

No!

Fine.

Should we just close?

I wish, but I would get in trouble.

Yeah, man.

What the fuck.

That's Blaire O'Connor.

That's my soon-to-be brother-in-law.

Blaire O'Connor? Is that girl from 'The Last Planet'?

Yeah.

Mm-hmm. Oh.

Does he know her?

It must be an old photo.

Yeh.

Five minutes old.

We need to find him.

Don't hurry, man.

What? No. I want a photo.

I want a photo too.

Can I come?

Absolutely.

You want a photo too?

No.

Wait, let me make sure I have my ID.

I'm sorry to everyone, I'm sorry. I was acting crazy. You're my best friends and I couldn't ask for a better group.

We love you.

To great sex.

Thank you.

Janice, we're kind of having a moment here.

What? What is it?

She's wearing my fucking clothes.

What are you looking at?

Hey, hey, hey, hey. No, no, no. That's, yeah. Oh, okay. Yeah, this is, it's dating. It's love. It's, but it's complicated.

Can we go?

Yeah.

Yeah, that's called laughing. It means you're happy.

Happy.

Yeah, yeah. Happy.

Joe, Biden. Happy.

Yeah, Joe is happy.

Oh, uh, yeah, that's called kissing. What you're...

Kissing.

Yeah, kissing.

But no, um, I'm involved with someone, so I can't do that with you.

Kissing.

Uh, sorry, sorry, sorry. You're gonna get me in trouble.

Happy kissing.

A myriad of margaritas, right?

Yeah, I just, sorry. Come on, get in the car.

We're fine Sorry.

Joe..., Joe..., Joe... Joe..., Joe..., Joe...

He's not here.

If this is what we're gonna do tonight, I'm gonna go home.

505a Like hell you are. You're my bridesmaids.

And tonight's my bachelor's night party. So together, we're gonna find my future husband and it...

Hey, Karen.

What are you doing here?

It's my house. What are you doing here?

We saw Joe with a hot actress from 'The Last Planet' we wanted to get us a selfy.

Really?

A... a photo would be nice.

Come on ladies.

Did you see that?

I got a video.

Let's go.

Where are we going?

Gotta see what happens, yeah?

All right.

Sophie, we're parked over here.

Come on.

Okay, okay.

Hello.

Doc, any news?

Yes it's a milicall sigprecidy.

So that's a good thing, right?

Yes, the powersupply is incredibly small.

Great!

But not functioning.

Okay, you can fix it though, right?

Yes, I'm close, I'm close. I'll call you as soon as I have something.

Okay, thank you. Thank you so much.

Dick!

I just found another one. It's just 12 minutes ago.

He's at the studio.

Is she always asleep?

Do you know what you've done?

What?

I told you not to post anything.

It was too good not to.

Yeah, and now Susan has seen it, her brother has seen it. I'm sure everyone I know has seen it.

You ended my marriage before it even started.

Is that why you posted it to break us up?

Joe, she's not right for you.

That's not for you to decide, Murph.

It's not just me. Everyone else hates her too.

Well, everyone else is irrelevant to our relationship.

She's cheating on you, Joe.

You're a dick.

It's true.

You know what, Murph, make up whatever you want. I'm marrying Susan, okay?

Grab your stuff and get out, because I'm done working with you.

I'm on the lease.

Home.

Happy.

Happy.

Happy. Yeah.

Oh.

Someone here has to know how the hell Joe knows Blaire O'Connor.

And why, on the night of my bachelor party, is he prancing around town showing off with her?

Huh?

Anyone?

Um, who's Joe?

Who are you?

She works at, eh, beer bowls and boobs.

You brought a stripper?

I'm an entertainer.

Okay. Wait here. I want to talk with Joe alone.

Things go south here. Do you want like a drink or something?

Dude, not the time.

What's going on, Murphy?

What are you talking about?

Why is my fiance with Blaire O'Connor?

Joe could have been with me eating Cap'n Crunch and Ding Dongs, but you wouldn't let him.

Okay. How does he know her?

A few weeks ago I was on a Tinder date. We're talking at dinner, you know, about family.

And then she pulls out her phone and shows me a fourth of July photo from the center.

Stop stalling. Where is Joe?

I couldn't help but notice this guy in the background. Really attractive, could have been a model.

I don't care about your stupid fourth of July party.

But you do. Because the guy in the photo was Martin Wright, her brother.

Small world, right? She told me that he's been super happy since he's been dating you for the past nine months.

I'm going to end it with Martin.

It's over, Susan.

I love Joe.

Really?

Yes. This whole wedding has just been stressful. It has taken up so much of my time and Joe spends all of his here.

I already told Joe. It's over.

You just ruined his best chance of a perfect life.

Screw you, Murphy. Fuck you.

It's a hot tub. You know, hot, warm, relaxing.

Check this out.

Bubbles.

Bubbles.

Yeah. I'll get you a suit so you can go in.

It's just that sort of night.

He's cheating on me with Blaire O'Connor.

Epic.

Will you shut up?

Murph told you Joe's cheating on you?

I don't even know the man I'm about to marry.

You have nothing to say about this?

Well, she's famous and you are kind of a ball buster.

Janice.

Cheating is wrong. And if he did, then you can't get married.

You're no help.

Karen.

I don't know if this was the right backyard for you to land in, but I'm glad you did.

Bubbles.

Yeah, bubbles.

My ramblings. Do they mean anything to you?

Kissing.

Normally, yes, but it's complicated.

Kissing, yes.

See, I made this promise to kiss somebody else forever.

Happy kissing.

Any other planet, any other life, I would, but you're making this very complicated.

Hello?

I solved it. So get over here right now.

Fantastic.

Now!

All right, we're on our way.

Fixed.

Joe?

At least she's not wearing her clothes anymore.

Did you find him?

Negative.

This is humiliating.

I was going to marry him. I was going to have his baby.

His baby, that would totally ruin my body. And the second I'm not around, he betrays me.

We don't actually know what he's doing with her.

Janice, will you shut up?

We know what he's doing with her.

Okay, what are we doing here?

I think you know where he is.

He wasn't with us.

Do you wants some fries?

We're going to find him, and I need everyone's help.

Sorry to interrupt your party. We are the FBI, I'm agent Carlson and this is agent Kyle.

Can we take a look in the backyard?

It's simple and briliant. It broadcasts so high-trace below 1500 mega-Hertz.

So at first, I got to hang up on the power.

So you've got to have a lot of power to get the signal out far and fast.

But Doc, we're running out of time.

I kept going in a circle until I discovered this device isn't sending the signal far.

Fix.

Exactly. Exactly.

So they figured it out the way to get a lot of powers very small.

But it's not really that powerful.

Why not?

Because they're close.

How close?

Very close.

Let me show you how to use this.

So you grab this and you plug three cables in here.

Okay

Then you grab this one and then you turn on like this and press bottun.

So next you work for 10 or 15 seconds before it burns out the unit.

Okay, but only unknown is, how long the signal needs for transmitted for.

How will I know?

Well, you would know if your ride shows up.

Home.

Home.

Home.

I was about to leave. It's my bachelor party. And there is just this huge boom from outside. We thought it was thunder because of the storm.

How fucking late.

What's up?

Nothing.

Right.

What do you know?

Nothing.

If I tell you will you help me without telling your sister.

Is he cheating on her?

Very unlikely.

Okay.

Where's the fiancée now?

He's off cheating on me with Blaire O'Connor.

From 'The Last Planet'?

Yes, from 'The Last Planet'.

Where is everyone?

I still don't get it.

She's not the actress Blaire O'Connor. She just looks exactly like her.

How does Joe know her?

I don't know. But we had this guy on the show and I have a feeling a lot is going on.

You need to get to the open space and fast.

Thank you, Doc.

I've written five best sellers on extraterrestrials, but I have never met one.

So, thank you. Thank you, my friend.

Friend.

Get her home.

God, he thinks he can pull this shit a week before our wedding. He's dead.

I'm going to get the day that I deserve. I've been planning 18 months for this.

Do you love him, Susan?

Shut up, Janice.

Did you cheat on Joe?

What?

Karen, we've known each other since we were six.

Exactly. You slept with Jim Delurjio when you knew he was going to ask me to prom.

And when you knew I was stupid crazy about Darren Moore, you had sex with him on grad night. After I said he had a 14 inch dick.

It was 11 at best.

It's supposed to be my 11.

You're uninvited!

Hello?

Fuck. Where did everybody go?

No fucking clue. So what do you think?

Well, if he really is out with Blaire O'Connor, his fiance doesn't stand a chance.

No. About this place.

No.

It looks like a lightning strike.

And the green shampoo?

Unscentenced is a little strange, but there's nothing here.

You hungry?

Yeh.

Doctor Lee?

What do you want?

I'm a friend of Joe's.

If I'm right, he was here with Blaire O'Connor.

But not the real Blaire O'Connor. You know what I mean.

If I am right, can I talk to you?

You're okay?

No. I'm not.

Do you want to get high?

Okay.

Well.

They were here 15 minutes ago.

So was it the real Blaire or was it not the real Blaire?

It was the real Blaire. Joe had a last minute chance to interview her.

So where are they now?

Joe took her home. Now solving it tonight.

That sucks.

So it's over.

At least for tonight.

So, I got another hour. Should we get a drink?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Are you ready to go home?

Home.

I don't know if that was long enough.

Fixed.

Fixed.

Happy kissing.

Maybe it didn't work?

No mothership? Come on, beam me up.

That can't be good.

Seriously?

Hey Stacy.

A busy night?

Yeah, more than you know.

I heard you got into it with Murph.

Yeah, he was just talking some shit.

It's all true. She's been cheating on you for the last nine months.

You knew?

Not the whole time, but yeah, I knew.

Why didn't you tell me?

Because I'm sort of in love with you. If I was the one who broke up your marriage, you'd never talk to me again. I couldn't stand that.

Wait, why are you telling me now?

Because Murphy is your best friend. You can't cut him out of your life.

Listen, Murph isn't going anywhere. Okay?

Do you want to come in?

Hell yeah.

So, he cheated on you?

Yeah. Week before our wedding.

That is fucked up.

So, you called off the wedding?

No, I didn't. He's my soulmate.

No such thing. That's so 2002.

Get off.

What do you losers know about soulmates?

Only they don't exist.

You got a picture of this guy?

Yeh.

I know that dude. Well, we saw him tonight.

Oh, yeah, that's Blaire O'Connor's new boyfriend.

Are you sure you want to do this?

Hey, who's going to believe me anyway, right? Let's go for it.

Alright, it's Monday. Welcome to another episode of Chorellians and Fraters Drinking Coffee. I'm Joe,

and I'm Murph.

Alright, Murph. How was your weekend?

Pretty good. Nothing too exciting. How about yourself?

Well, I'm glad you asked. Do I have a story to tell you?

I'll get it.

Hi.

Hi. I'm looking for Joe, my new boyfriend. Does he live here?

He sure does.