Original subtitles

my feet

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starring tommy redig as jeff miller

jan clayton as his mother ellen

george cleveland as gramps

and of course

lassie

look i got

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one boy look at him it's bigger than

yours

measure them let's see yours

hey where is it what

my fish

i had it right here you sure you caught

one

you saw me well anyway mine's bigger

come on

four's two

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hey where are you going run for your

life

[Applause]

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lives

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it was right behind that bush

there's nothing there

you sure well see for yourself

nothing says that a monster's got to

stay in one place is there well no i

guess not

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what happened

it's it's in the house oh what the

monster

where's grams he's coming

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it's in the house gramps the monster oh

yeah i can't hold her any longer stay

lassie stay

let it go

quiet girl

i saw it in the parlor

no lesson

what are you saying what i'm saying yes

come

come back here jeff

go in the barn get me the axe

you're not going in there now listen you

take it easy go over here in the bench

sit down you can't go in there you may

not believe the boys but you've got to

believe me i saw it with my own eyes you

two boys stay with her

oh dad please

it's all right mom grab shark in the ax

yesterday

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would you feel better miss murder

me and jeff went in to help don't you

dare

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so

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mom please let me go and see what

happened to lassie and gramps no

absolutely not do you think if we set

the house on fire we'd smoke him out

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mom we can't just sit here like this

forever

so i don't know what to do i just don't

know

want me to take your bike right over and

get joe king he's got a 30 30 rifle good

idea

hey you wanna get a look at the monster

he killed him

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where is it grams in the second room

wait a minute wait for your mom how'd

you kill it mr miller there's no blood

on the axe well i'll tell you what

happened

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this is what you get leave the front

door open

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it's a seal

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that's a good dog

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boy am i lucky i've got the smartest dog

and the smartest seal in the world

uh here's a funny thing

we thought we had a monkey but we got a

sea catch

you said

what joe the seal it's not a matter it's

a sea catch

oh i realized that minute i saw it

now what's a map gun what's a sick couch

fine

eskimo talk

the c-cart is a a bull seal and the

matka is a female the sea catch runs

about 300 pounds and the uh

the marker runs 80.

so we know we got a c cat um

it says here in the encyclopedia that

seals migrate from their breeding

grounds uh

long about november but they stick

pretty close to the hundred fatherline

fascinating

what i can't figure out how'd he get in

the lake

maybe somebody lost him

i wish whoever did would find him again

well we don't know that they did it

could be wild

so

you want to keep him too

well it's like jeff says it's something

special dave every farm's got a seal

you're so right most farmers are sane

i have put up with a sick rabbit in my

kitchen and a crippled crow in the attic

but i draw the line at a seal

mafka or sea catch

grams come on out and watch the tricks

joe can do okay

but uh you got to choose a new name for

joe because it turns out it's not a

matka i know he's a sick ass boy what do

you mean you know it was a sick hatch

you don't talk eskimo i read in the

encyclopedia before breakfast but i'm

still gonna call him joe instead of joe

for josephine it'll be joe for joseph

you better get up early in the morning

to get ahead of that boy you have to get

up early in the morning when you live in

a place where a seal starts barking at

daybreak ellen

you've got any reason not to like that

seal that you haven't told me

i like it fine in its proper place i

just think keeping a seal on a farm is

it's

well it just isn't right

now i've had to explain a lot of weird

things that you and jeff have done but

if you can tell me how i can explain

this i'll certainly be obliged to you

why do you have to explain

well

well for instance clara par and louise

ross are coming out this afternoon to

help me sew curtains for the church

basement now they're both dears but they

are spinster ladies and

and they're gossipy now what would they

think

we'd keep joe out of sight while we're

here

watch graham

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come on roll over roll over

pull over

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you're heading for trouble faster than a

steer in a starter house get them pants

off now soak them before your ma finds

out

appearance i gotta keep the fish handy

someplace i know but women don't like to

face up the facts like that now get them

off

keeping fish in your pocket is one thing

but having a seal is another that's

about the size of it women will wear

feathers on their hats but talk to them

about shooting birds and they have a fit

where do they think the feathers come

from well beats me

look we got to keep joe out of sight

this afternoon because the ladies from

the church are coming in to sew curtains

okay

i'll take these back to the barn and

i'll soak them and bring you a fresh

pair

and look

be nice to your mom until she gets

better acquainted with joe

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is there anything i can do to help mom

don't you feel well i feel fine but

graham said some ladies were coming and

i thought maybe there was something i

could do

well that's that's sweet dear but i'm

practically finished okay

joe's in the barn so he won't get in the

way or nothing

good

if you think of anything you'd like me

to do just let me know

hi hi

where's joe from the bar

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[Applause]

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what's the matter with him

nothing he's just lying down

he looks sick

i think maybe he's gonna have a place to

swim

why don't we take him down the lake

are you crazy he'll get away let's put

him in the horse trough too dirty all

full of green stuff

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the bathtub we'll put him in the bathtub

mom's got ladies coming so what the

bathroom's upstairs nobody'll know boy i

bet he loves women in the bathtub and

you know what

it's saturday you gotta be getting a

bath anyway

yeah

we'd have to take him in the front

because mom's in the kitchen okay

come on joe

that's cool

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louise

yes clara dear

get your glasses and put them on

now dear you know i only need glasses

for very fine work

then will you explain why you're sewing

a curtain ruffle to one of ellen's best

table covers

oh dear perhaps i'd better get them

i'm terribly sorry ellen oh that'll pull

right out the stitches will never show

can i get your glasses for you oh no i

left them in my purse in the hall

poor louise

she actually learned to sew by feel

she won't admit it but you can't see a

thing without her glasses

she tries hard poor dear

but that much vanity is a sin

now clara louise is all right

dear

haven't you noticed how she's aging

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oh no

we're giving him a bath

it's saturday

i told you to keep him out of sight

supposing claire and louise want to come

in here only i didn't think of that we

gotta get him downstairs but they're in

the power and we can't go through the

hallway

i got it

look we lower them off the roof now you

go and gather rope don't let your mom

see you

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and you shut up

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don't you want to come in and say hello

to the ladies

sure

how do you do miss louise

how do you do miss clara

my jefferson you grow taller every time

i see you

oh what's a little present for you you

wait right here

his name is jeffrey not jefferson

isn't a dear yes ma'am poor clara

she pretends to hear everything it said

to her but she doesn't really know

she tries hard for dear but that much

vanity's a sin

oh now louise clara's all right dear

haven't you noticed how she's aging

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it's fudge

here you are jefferson

jeffrey

thank you miss clara you're welcome

that's a bad cough you have dear

you really must take something for it

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i had to go in the car and say

what's that fudge

not now i'm going to tie this end around

the seal

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but i have to easy moves of the corner

right over the center over here

okay

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[Applause]

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pull up

pull up we can't you're too heavy

well then pull down

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i do believe i see better without my

glasses

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now with my glasses on it looks just

like george miller floating by that

window

dad

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he's hanging on a rope louise

painting the house lightly

how are you george

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ellen dear you simply must do something

about that cough

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well i

i guess i better explain

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[Applause]

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i never felt so foolish in my life

and then they were kind to me

of course ellen dear if you feel that

the seal is a suitable playmate for your

little boy

well it's your own business well martha

that's exactly what it is

you never seem to realize that we have

to live with our neighbors

what's so unreasonable about having a

seal or an elephant or a tiger or a

gorilla

if you live in a circus

all right we get rid of joe tomorrow

we'll take him up the zoo in capital

city

well i

suppose there's no need to get rid of

him now damage is done

it's a man with a truck

evening son does george willa live here

ask the gentleman in jazz come on in

excuse me ma'am for barging in like this

they told me back in town you had an

anarch my seal how do we know he's yours

well a sealed rather strange animal to

find in these parts

the crate i had him in rolled off my

truck about a mile up the road i got

cleared of capital city before i missed

it what are you doing with the seal

well i had a gas station on route 55 i

kept him outside in a tank kind of a

tourist attraction i sold it about a

week ago figured i'd get myself a gas

station near capital city

it's surprising how many people will

stop to see a sealed dive and play and

then buy gasoline he's pretty smart too

he puts on a good show until they get

their tanks filled up then goes to sleep

jeff will you show the gentleman where

joe

nanook is

he's in the barn

oh it's all right ma'am i'll find him

thanks a million

he's right over here thank you

lassie will show you the way good night

you were both terribly rude

why

i didn't want to see him go

me

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you know what i've been thinking

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well i've been thinking that maybe we

ought to get a ram and a u and raise

some sheep

how would you like a little lamb of your

own to raise yeah oh no please

why not

because i know exactly what would happen

the first month it'll be in the kitchen

because it's pulling and needs warmth

the second month it'll be in jeff's

bedroom because it needs company and the

third month

it'll

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oh

all right

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so

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you