Original subtitles

(upbeat jazz music)

(operators chattering)

- [Joe] Then you realize you're this

little cog in a machine.

A cog that works 40 to 50 hours a week

for 40 to 50 years, and for what?

(group chattering)

(upbeat jazz music)

- Thanks.

(patrons chattering)

- [Vincent] I mean, I know we've only just met, but

it feels comfortable, you know.

Does that sound stupid?

- [Wendy] No, I know what you mean.

- It's like you meet someone, and you just click.

- I can't believe he's actually doing it.

- Oh, he's doing it all right.

- I mean, what kind of guy bets he can pick up

the first girl to walk through those doors.

- That kinda guy right over there.

- Because I feel like I've known you for ages.

And, uh,

no, I'm sorry, I can't do this.

- You can't do what?

- This is gonna sound terrible.

You see the three people sitting behind me,

two guys and a girl?

- The ones spying on us?

- Yeah, sounds like them.

We all work in the area.

Most nights, before and after shifts,

we sit around, drink coffee, pass the time, you know.

And tonight, they saw you come in, Wendy,

and sit down by yourself.

- What time are you due back?

- Half an hour.

- [Jody] Have you spoken to her yet?

- Spoken to who?

- Sean.

- You two, sh.

I'm trying to learn something here.

- [Wendy] What is it?

- They bet me I couldn't sit down here

and pick you up within 10 minutes.

- They did what?

- Uh-oh.

- Looks like he's blown it.

- Maybe she's actually got taste.

- [Wendy] And you expect me to sit here and listen to this?

- No, I don't, I'm just sorry I ever came over.

You didn't deserve this.

And for what it's worth, I meant what I said,

you know, about you and me.

It's my stupid fault for blowing it.

You're not that sorta girl.

You're wow.

Oh.

- Wait, this is gonna sound stupid.

Well, I was sorta pleased when you sat down.

- Really?

- Yeah, I mean, before I found out why.

- Really?

- Yeah, sounds stupid, doesn't it?

- No, it doesn't sound stupid at all.

Listen, I have gotta go back,

but can I take your number.

- I'd give anything to know what's going on.

- Looks like we're about to find out.

- Well, Vincent?

- God, how long can you be?

- I'm dying to hear, what happened?

I haven't finished with that.

- I have.

- That's very mature, Vincent.

- Well, I am trying to be as one-dimensional as possible.

("Sun is Shining" by Finley Quaye)

* Sun is shining, the weather is sweet *

* Boy, it makes you wanna move your dancing feet *

* To the rescue, here I am

* I want you to know now

* Here I stand

* As the morning gathers

- Lenny speaking, what's your name please?

Thank you.

Can you spell it please?

And where is that?

* I'm a hero like Robert DeNiro *

* I know an Ital Rasta man

* Got to keep eye height

* Protection until time

* Sun is shining

- Hello, directory, Lenny speaking.

What's your name please?

* You've got to demonstrate, demonstrate *

* You've got to demonstrate

* Don't fight

* Because the sun is shining for you *

* There's nothing else to do

* As the morning gathers a rainbow *

* I want you to know now that I'm a rainbow with you *

* Whoa whoa whoa, yeah, test the eye *

* Test the eye

* Fear no evil

* Channel like a lion, channel like a lion *

(upbeat music)

* Sun is shining, the weather is sweet *

* It makes you wanna move your dancing feet *

* Boy, to the rescue

* And here I am

* I want you to know

* Here I stand

* As the morning gathers a rainbow *

* I want you to know now that I'm a rainbow with you *

* Some say, yeah, money in my, one on one *

* Money in my pocket

- [Sean] I read a thing in a magazine, right.

There was this landlord in Osaka.

He rented out this apartment.

- [Vincent] Wait, where was this?

- [Sean] Osaka, it's in Japan.

- [Vincent] Right, got you.

- [Sean] This landlord rents out an apartment

to different tenants.

One of them works night shift.

- [Vincent] Like us.

- [Sean] Yeah, and the other works day shift.

Neither of these tenants know about the other one,

because they work different shifts.

They never run into each other.

Takes at least six months before they realize

they aren't actually living alone.

- [Vincent] And this is a true story?

- [Sean] Yeah.

- [Vincent] Well that's rubbish. What about weekends?

- [Sean] I don't know, maybe they were avoiding each other.

Look, that's not the point of the story.

- [Vincent] There's a point?

- [Sean] Yeah.

Well it's pretty much the same situation

as me and my girlfriend.

- [Vincent] Oh, I get it, a metaphor, right?

And that's why you been looking for clues

that she's still there?

- [Sean] Well, yeah.

- [Vincent] Sean, that is sad, and I mean that

in the cruelest sense of the word.

So when did you last see her?

- [Sean] About three weeks ago now.

- [Vincent] What was she like?

- [Sean] She's great, you know.

She's smart, funny, pretty.

- [Vincent] What kinda clothes does she wear?

- [Sean] You know, girls' clothes.

- [Vincent] What color underwear?

- [Sean] What has that got to do with anything?

- I'm just trying to establish the facts, you know,

like ratings-wise.

Figure, face, personality.

Give her marks outta 10.

- Are you serious?

- Yeah.

- Forget it.

- What I mean is, if you saw her sitting by herself,

in a bar, would you go chat her up?

- She's my girlfriend, of course I would.

(patrons chattering)

(video game beeping)

- Lenny?

- Yeah, hold on.

Yeah, sorry, what is it?

- Would you say I'm, um,

you know,

you know?

- Can we start again?

I think you got lost after about the third word.

- Useful.

- Useful?

- No.

Attractive.

- I don't know, I mean, what kinda question's that?

- I'm just asking.

All right, I mean, would you rate me?

- [Lenny] Jesus, Jody, I don't know.

(video game beeping)

- It'll sort itself out.

These things always do. You know how it works.

- No, I don't.

- What?

- You said you know how it works.

I said no, I don't, because I don't.

I think anybody who moves in with his girlfriend is insane.

Of course, if you're married, it's probably unavoidable.

Otherwise, it's just insane.

- I'm only asking a question.

All right, you're alone in your room,

and you wanna have, you know, fun for one.

- What?

Aw, shit.

- You know, a personal touch.

A one-man band.

- I don't believe you're asking me about this.

- Grow up, Lenny, listen, would you ever

consider doing it about a girl?

For example, like me?

- [Lenny] Geez, Jody.

- [Jody] Just answer the question.

- No.

Well, I mean, probably not.

- Why not?

- Look, Jody, please.

- Lenny?

- I don't know.

You're a friend. It'd be rude, and you're not my type.

- Not your type? What's wrong with me?

- That's it, this conversation is officially over.

- Sean, if that's a bar of soap, there's gonna be trouble.

(coins dropping)

(coins dropping)

- Hey.

- Hey.

- You okay?

- Yeah, it's just, this machine, it keeps eating my money.

- Oh, yeah, you're not meant to put money in it.

- Oh.

- [Sean] You have to give it the Fonz.

(cup dropping)

(machine whirring)

- [Susie] Thanks.

- Oh, that's the other thing. I wouldn't drink the coffee.

- Yeah.

- [Sean] I really didn't mean to end up working here.

I'd always planned to be an astronaut

or a racing car driver.

- Typical boy.

- Mm.

I just never had hospital porter down on the list,

but it pays okay and I'm pretty much

left to my own devices.

- Working in a hospital at night,

feels kinda creepy, don't you think?

- Yeah.

(siren blaring)

So what about you? What are you doing hanging around here?

- Sean, you know what I feel like doing?

Not having that conversation where two people

bore each other with their life stories.

- Didn't realize I was boring you.

- No you weren't, just guy who works nights in hospital.

I think I can fill in the blanks.

(upbeat music)

(devices beeping)

- [Vincent] Wait, wait, what are we talking about again?

Susie, not your girlfriend?

- [Sean] No, not my girlfriend.

A girl called Susie at the hospital.

- I'm drawing a blank here.

- Do you ever listen to anything anyone actually ever says?

- Sean, that hurts.

I listen.

If I don't take in all the details on every word you say

it's because I'm a nonjudgmental listener.

- A nonjudgmental listener?

- Yeah, I'm an ear you can trust.

- The point is, I ask her what she's doing hanging

around the hospital, she changes the subject.

Don't you think that's a little weird?

- Sean, my last three girlfriends

have all said they're into modern jazz.

That's weird.

This is just a guy with too much time on his hands

playing at being Columbo, there's a difference.

- I'm gonna go get myself another coffee.

- Like you need any more coffee.

(patrons chattering)

- [Jody] Sean?

- I personally think you're very attractive.

- No, Sean, check your watch.

- Uh-huh.

- If you go now, you can get your train, get home,

she'll be there, you can sort out this problem.

- She might not be there. That is this problem.

- Sean, I'm right, you know I'm right. I'm always right.

- Okay, thanks.

(brakes squealing)

(coins falling)

(candy falling)

(soft music)

(guitar music)

- Can you spell that for me?

Thank you.

Hello, directory, Lenny speaking, what's your name please?

What town's that in?

* Are you going

T-P, okay, thank you.

Directory, Lenny speaking, what's your name please?

Could you spell that for me?

Thank you.

Hello, directory, Lenny speaking.

What's your name?

* You must be bored

* Because I'm so bored offall that *

* Of all that

* My fingers prickle with the memory of feeling *

* I've been over you yet again

* He's sitting in the corner with his eyes half open *

* He's a backseat driver in my gaze *

* I'll take my cue to do what you would do *

(yawning)

- Hey, Joe, what's the time?

- [Joe] You do not want to know.

- Oh, this is killing me.

- [Joe] If it's killing you, you should buy a watch.

- I've got a watch.

- [Joe] A watch that works.

- This works. It's a lucky charm.

It's the fabled watch.

- Yeah, yeah I know, the fabled watch of Errol Flynn.

- Don't mock the power.

While we stand around here putting fucking tins on shelves,

there are beautiful, 19-year-old girls

in short skirts and tight tops,

going to clubs, drinking, dancing,

hormones exploding like atom bombs.

But let's not get too upset here.

There's always that final hour when the ladies get desperate

and their standards plummet faster than the speed of light.

And that ... that is the same hour I get off work.

* Because I'm so bored of all that *

- What I really don't get is why I have to wear a uniform.

You know?

I mean, it's not as though I ever have to see anyone.

Let's face it, I could do this job in a monkey outfit.

No one would know.

- You could do it in a monkey outfit,

but personally I just love a man in uniform.

- Directory, Lenny speaking, what's your name?

(operators chattering)

Thank you.

(operators chattering)

- Name please?

Which town?

(operators chattering)

- Hi there, it's-

Oh, you recognize the voice.

(dreamy music)

(woman crying)

- [Woman] I just don't understand.

- I'm sorry, but you knew this when we started.

I'm a big girl, I can handle myself.

- I thought it would be different.

- Looks, this was supposed to be fun, okay?

I mean, let's fool around, it'll be fun.

And it was fun.

It's like a game, right?

Right?

- I suppose.

- And like any game, there are rules, babe.

And one of the rules was we could only do this three times.

You know, three strikes and you're out.

- I thought you were joking.

- I don't joke about this stuff.

- [Woman] Vincent.

- Babe, come on, don't make me out

to be a bastard over this.

If I sound harsh, it's because I'm being honest.

I'd expect you to appreciate that.

- [Woman] Maybe I better just go.

- No, don't be like that.

Come on. Come back to bed.

- You know, we can watch TV or something.

I just got cable, you ever seen the Home Shopping Channel?

- No.

- Oh, you gotta see it.

It's like the last refuge of civilization.

You gotta see some of the crap these people are selling.

(soft music)

Come on, you.

(gentle sax music)

Now just because this is the last time we're gonna

be together doesn't mean we have to part

on bad terms, does it?

- I suppose not.

- [Man On TV] And that is impressive, considering

that it comes with the chain too.

(coughing)

- Want a cigarette?

- I don't smoke.

- Oh, that's good.

- You know that thing, when you see some couple

in the street having a drunken argument?

She's yelling at him because he never does anything for her,

never makes any big romantic gestures.

- Oh, yeah, I love watching them.

- Right, well, that was the argument that we had.

I said some things that I regret.

She said some things she should definitely regret,

and it just snowballed from there.

- But that was weeks ago.

- It started out as I was just avoiding her.

That turned into habit, and now,

well, I'm just getting this feeling that--

- Sean, you want a simple solution?

Hardware store.

Big pot of paint, paintbrush.

You go home, you paint on the bedroom wall

in big fuck-off letters, Do you still live here?

You come home from work one day and she's standing there

throwing a hissy fit about the state of the wallpaper,

then I think you've got your answer.

- No, I don't know. We just redecorated.

Okay, look, listen, what if I was to do that?

And what if it turns out that is all over between us?

That's what I'm really scared of.

- That sounds like, what's that guy thing called?

- The fear?

- Yeah, the fear.

(group chattering)

(water pouring)

(group chattering)

(sexy music)

(woman moaning)

- I've worked in jobs like these for years.

I devise so many ways to make the clock go faster.

First of all ... try doing the job in record time.

- Well that sounds like fun.

- Then see how slow it can go.

Then marking off the quarter hours,

then dividing them up into five-minute segments.

But you can't beat the clock.

- [Vincent] That makes me feel much better.

- Yeah, well, try not to think about it,

because if you do, you'll see the big picture.

And that's not pretty.

Then you realize you're this little cog in a machine,

a cog that works 40 to 50 hours a week

for 40 to 50 years and for what?

So you can spend your declining years

sitting in an easy chair pissing and shitting yourself.

- Joe, Joe, much as I love you, man, that's depressing.

- Yeah, well, let me put it another way.

What, for example, are you gonna do when your looks go?

- It's never gonna happen.

This face defies plastic surgery.

Besides, I got this.

- Vinny, lovers leave, parties end,

bad jobs go on forever.

Seriously, what you gonna do with the rest of your life?

- Big question.

Let's see.

Save up some money, pay off my debts.

Leave this Mickey Mouse job for dust.

That's probably top of my list.

- [Joe] And then what?

- Well then I'll get a better job,

move into a nicer flat, probably continue

dating girls with severe emotional problems?

- And then what?

- Then.

- Uh-huh.

- You know, I think I preferred it when you were

rambling on about being a cog in a machine.

I mean, I wasn't listening to half of it,

but at least it didn't concern me.

Oh, come on, Joe, give me a break.

- Just think about it.

- No, the whole reason I'm doing my mind-numbing job

is so I don't have to think.

Hence, mind-numbing.

(soft PA music)

(devices beeping)

(ventilator hissing)

- Susie?

- Sean, what are you doing?

Snooping around?

- No ... well, yeah.

- Sean, meet David. David, meet Sean.

- [Sean] David?

- Yeah, he's my boyfriend.

Aren't you gonna shake his hand?

(ventilator hissing)

(devices beeping)

Sean, I was joking.

- [Lenny] I just don't know how long I can keep going.

- [Vincent] What's to know?

You sit there taking calls, giving out phone numbers.

Couple years' time, they'll train monkeys to do it

and you can find yourself a new job.

- [Lenny] I don't know, Vincent.

I mean, say last night.

I'm sitting there at my terminal, and I'm looking

at the guy who sits across from me.

And I've been there nearly two years,

and this guy probably sits across from me

six, seven nights a week, and I realize

I don't even know his name, where he's from,

you know, anything.

And I look around the place, and I know maybe four

or five people's names at a push.

This is meant to be the heart of the communications

industry, for Christ sake.

Two years, and I can't even name

half the people I work with.

- Fuck them. - What?

- Fuck them.

Who wants to know the names of a buncha wing dings, right?

Lenny, these people spend their time giving out

phone numbers to the general public.

They're fucking telephone operators.

Why would you wanna know their names?

- Yeah, but I'm a telephone operator.

- Sure, sure.

Look, maybe I'm not the best person to confide in,

but I think you're looking at it all wrong.

It's just a job.

You clock in, switch out, then get the fuck out

and wait for payday.

- That wasn't really what I was getting at.

- See, what you need is a decent hobby,

an interest outside of work to help

those eight-hour shifts fly by.

A hobby, like what you have?

- That's right, like I have, and then, boom,

three strikes and they're out.

Then I just get myself a new hobby.

Like I say, you need to get yourself a decent hobby.

- [Lenny] I can't do that.

- Why not?

- Can you keep a secret?

- Lenny, this is me, Vincent, you're talking to.

- Things had been on the slide

between us for months, really.

I don't know.

I was just about to finish it with him.

I even had the whole strategy worked out,

the whole, it's not you it's me routine.

- [Sean] That's a good routine.

- [Susie] Yeah, yeah it is.

(mysterious music)

(body thudding)

They rushed him to the nearest hospital,

but it was too late.

He'd already slipped into a coma.

- [Sean] Shit, that's terrible.

- Hey, you're telling me.

I couldn't split up with him then.

I'd have been the bitch of the year.

The thing is, I'd only been going

out with him five or six months.

He's been in a fucking coma for longer than that.

(soft music)

- I've got porno reactions.

- You got what?

- Porno reactions.

- Porno reactions?

- Jesus, Vincent, keep it down.

- What the hell are porno reactions?

- I knew this was a bad idea.

- Lenny.

- Before I worked in the call center,

I had a job for two or three years,

writing for Men Only.

- Writing for what?

- You know, Men Only, the jazz mag.

- Yeah, yeah, I'm well aware what Men Only is.

You wrote for it?

- Fuck yeah.

- Fuck me.

- You know the kind of thing.

Dear Men Only, I never thought I'd write to a magazine

such as yours, but something happened to me last week

I just had to share with you.

I'm an attractive blonde, aged 19,

small but perfectly formed, with a bust size

that can only be described as a handful.

I work in a local hairdressing salon and often flirt

with the customers, but none really caught my eye

until I saw Peter, a regular,

who had just returned from work abroad.

Well, with his rippling muscles, suntan and sexy smile,

I could hardly resist when he-

Continued, Page 64, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera.

I spent so long writing that shit that now I've got

porno reactions to everything.

- And how do these porno reactions manifest themselves?

- It's not funny.

(soft music)

Every girl I meet.

Every girl I half like, my mind goes click.

Starts imagining them in some X-rated skin flick.

- Every girl?

- Yeah.

Automatically.

It's a fucking curse.

- It's not a fucking curse. That's a gift.

(upbeat sexy music)

(woman moaning)

(soft music)

- Vincent?

Don't you tell a soul.

- Tell me about your girlfriend.

- How'd you know I've got a girlfriend?

- Sean, you got it written all over your face.

Trust me.

- Not much to tell really.

(soft music)

- [Susie] Wait, you actually examine the soap?

- Yeah, to see if it's, you know, getting smaller,

see if she still actually lives with me.

- Sean, that's really sad.

And I mean that in the cruelest sense of the word.

- Thanks.

- No, I mean it.

You should just take the night off work and find out.

- Believe me, I know.

It's just, with everything in a state of limbo,

you get used to it.

It's almost, and this is fucking sad,

but it's almost comforting.

You know that I mean?

- Yeah ... yeah, I know what you mean.

(siren blaring)

- Well, better get going. Have got a job to do.

- [Susie] Some job.

- Yeah.

(Lenny humming)

* I don't know why

* I'm feeling like I do

- [Vincent] Hi.

- Hi.

- Can I ask you a question?

- Let me guess.

What's a girl like you doing in a nice place like this?

(laughing)

No, a nice girl like you doing in a place like this.

It's a long story.

- [Vincent] Well, just give me the short version then.

- All right.

I was out with some friends.

I wasn't really enjoying it.

And I couldn't face going home.

- So you came here?

- Thought I'd drown my sorrows.

- [Vincent] In hot chocolate?

- You wouldn't understand.

It's a girl thing.

(soft music)

- [Vincent] I gotta admit, the whole thing is

just very, very weird, in a weird sort of way.

- Wait, wait, let me get this right.

You saw this documentary on TV

about this University of Philadelphia,

where they have a code of conduct regarding

- Boys and girls. - Boys and girls, right.

- And at each stage of the date,

they have to ask permission to do things, right?

- Yeah.

- Give me an example.

- Oh, okay.

Let's say it's you and me, and we're walking through

the snowbound streets of Philadelphia,

and I look over to you, and I think, Wow, this girl is nice.

- Nice?

- You don't like nice?

- Well, seeing as the streets of Philadelphia

were all snowbound, I was hoping for something

a wee bit more imaginative.

- Okay.

This girl is great, and I think I'd like

to hold this girl's hand.

So, I'd have to ask you, Is it okay to hold your hand?

And you'd say yes or no.

So, we walk on for a bit, I'm looking over, thinking,

I'd like to kiss this girl, so I'd have to ask you.

Is it okay to kiss you?

And you'd say yes or no again.

- [Madeline] How long is this going on for?

- [Vincent] All the way home, every stage.

Kissing, caressing, undressing.

- Whoa, whoa, whoa whoa whoa.

How much have I had to drink by that point?

- Well, as long as you can still write your name,

I'd be okay, because if we were to go ahead

and go all the way, you'd have to sign a contract

of consent especially drawn up by the university itself.

- A contract? What else do we need?

A lawyer present?

- If you like that kinda thing.

- That's stupid.

One of the nicest parts of romance is,

you know, not knowing what's coming next.

The moment before the kiss, that sort of thing.

- What's your full name?

- Huh?

Madeline, Madeline Zozzocolovich.

- Is that one Z or two?

- Three.

(soft rock music)

- Vincent.

Your name's Vincent.

- That's right.

(giggling)

(deep breathing)

- Hey, sleeping beauty.

- Mm.

Aw shit, I missed the ending.

- [Sean] What ending?

- Vincent was firing into some girl,

looked odds on to hit the target.

- Always something to see.

- Yep, you really missed out.

(crunching)

You all right?

- Yeah.

No, not really.

- What's up?

- It's a long story, maybe another time.

- And you wanna get out of here?

Go for a drive or something?

(soft music)

(laughing)

- I'm just going to freshen up.

- Sure.

- Okay.

(giggling)

(water running)

(soft mysterious music)

(upbeat dance music)

- You ever get the feeling we're missing out on something?

- Yeah, all the time.

Don't touch that dial!

* I don't know if I can face it again *

* Can't stop now, I've traveled so far *

It's the fucking car.

The radio dial gets stuck on some fucking

'80s revival station.

- Switch it off.

- It doesn't switch off.

* I wanna know what love is

* I want you to show me

* I wanna feel what love is

(laughing)

- I just want you to know that I

don't normally do this sort of thing.

- I know.

- I remember when I was 13.

Went with this girl in my class to the school disco.

Sat and watched her dance all night long

with her friends until the lights went up.

I'm sick of it, you know.

The fear.

- [Lenny] Oh yeah, the fear.

- Still, if it's over it's over.

Fuck, for all I know, it could be over

between me and my girlfriend for weeks now.

- [Lenny] It's very weird, you know that?

- What?

- How you always refer to the girl as her or my girlfriend.

Parents didn't give her a name?

- Yeah, Madeline.

- It's a cool name.

- Yeah? You should hear her surname.

(alarm ringing)

- Oh shit, shit.

(soft music)

(truck beeping)

- You don't get it, do you? We're not friends.

Lenny, don't look at me like that.

I'm just trying to explain something here.

We're acquaintances, not friends.

- Well I for one am crushed.

- Now see, I don't think that's true.

We spend most nights of the week hanging out here,

talking crap, you know.

That's what friends are for.

- Here's the litmus test, three questions.

Number one, what's my surname?

(soft music)

Okay, two, where do I work?

- Something to do with children, right?

(soft music)

- And three, what's my favorite color?

- Beige?

- No, green.

I remember because we had that big argument

about it a couple weeks ago.

It's definitely green.

- One out of three, magnificent.

- So what are you getting at,

that we don't pay attention to details?

- No, that we're not really friends.

Don't get me wrong.

I enjoy sitting here passing the time

talking, talking, talking, but you've gotta admit,

it's out of convenience rather than anything deeper.

- I still think we're friends.

- [Jody] It's not a personal thing.

- [Lenny] How is friendship not a personal thing, Jody?

- Listen, Lenny, I need a favor.

- What kind of favor?

- Car favor, right now.

- Right now? I just got here.

- I know, but it's important.

Lenny, very important.

- All right, well let me just say hello to Sean.

- No, we have to go now, come on.

(soft music)

- How long was I away for?

- Vincent, what's going on?

Vincent.

- It's, uh, it's about Sean.

- Well you mean it's about Vincent.

- The way he treats me, you know.

I might as well have second-class citizen

stamped on my forehead.

- Jody, he's just like that. You're a girl, he's Vincent.

- It pisses me off no end.

The way he and Lenny are always running round doing shit.

It makes me feel like a wee girl stamping her feet

at the bottom of the tree while the boys

play up in the tree house.

- You wanna play in Vincent and Lenny's tree house?

- No.

Just be nice to invited up occasionally.

- [Vincent] Remember the other night when that

girl came into the cafe?

- [Lenny] Yeah.

- I was sitting there going through some of the old

tried and tested routines.

Thought I'd maybe have to come up with something new,

seeing that she was Dutch or something.

- Uh-huh.

* I wanna feel what love is

* I know you can show me

- [Madeline] Is everything okay?

- Yeah.

Everything's fine.

- You're serious?

You slept with Sean's girlfriend, Madeline, right?

- Yeah, Madeline.

- [Lenny] Jesus, Vincent, that's pretty off the scale.

- Do you know how many girls I've fucked in the past year?

That's off the scale.

- That was a shitty thing to do.

- I know.

I didn't even wanna do it, but it was,

you know, all outta my hands.

- Out of your hands?

- Well figuratively speaking, yeah.

It was the little guys downstairs.

Millions of them, all swimming about, looking for an exit.

They should fucking rewrite the biology books,

because when it comes to the brains versus the little guys

downstairs, always bet on the little guys.

- Is that what you're gonna tell Sean?

- I'm not gonna tell Sean.

- [Lenny] You've got to tell him.

- Why should I tell him?

- [Lenny] He's your friend, huh?

- Like Jody says, we're acquaintances, not friends.

- That's shit, that is.

She just says that to kid on that

she's better than the rest of us.

Do you wanna know something, about you?

- I don't know.

- You come to me, right, because you fucked Sean's

girlfriend and you're worried about it.

That sounds as if you're actually wracked with guilt,

and you're looking for me to set your mind at rest

because you know you fucked over a friend.

- You know, for a while it almost seemed funny,

two people living together who never saw each other,

but now.

- Not funny.

- You know how it is.

- [Jody] No.

- It's the little things.

It's waking up next to her in the morning.

The way her hair looks.

- Her hair?

- Every time we go to the cinema, we always hold hands

throughout the entire movie.

- Aw.

- There's always someone one or two rows

behind with an annoying laugh.

- Ask for a refund.

- Yeah, well, anyway, I've decided

that tonight, I'm gonna do it.

I'm gonna get someone to punch out my time card for me,

go home, see Madeline and tell her how I feel.

- About her hair?

(soft music)

- I've been really stupid.

I didn't realize how much I missed her until.

Well, until.

- Wait wait wait, let me guess.

I think I can see where this one is heading,

if it's a typical guy thing.

You were either drunk and heard a song on the jukebox

that reminded you of her,

or you had your dick in someone else.

Sean.

- It was the dick thing.

- Really? Shit.

I was only joking.

I just thought it was a smart thing to say.

- With everything in a state of limbo, you get used to it.

It's almost, and this is fucking sad,

but it's almost comforting, you know what I mean?

- Yeah.

(ventilator hissing)

- Well, better get back to it. Have got a job to do.

- Some job.

- Yeah.

- Sean?

You know the nice thing about being in limbo?

You can do anything you want.

(upbeat music)

(devices beeping)

- [Jody] Vincent, I can't believe you did that?

- [Sean] Sean.

- What?

- You just called me Vincent.

- You're not gonna turn into him, are you?

- No, I'm not gonna turn into Vincent.

I'm gonna sort everything out.

- [Vincent] Hey, Lenny, you actually

wrote for this magazine?

- Yeah, about two years ago.

- I used to love these letters,

gave me situations to aspire to.

I'm not easily impressed, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.

(register beeping)

Ooh.

- Vincent, how can I put this?

About a month or so ago, this new girl starts at work.

The early evening shift.

- Hello.

- Yeah, hello.

She's something else too, you know.

The minute I see her, I can't eat, I can't sleep.

- Sounds like the real thing.

- What's a guy like me gonna do?

I've got porno reactions, for Christ sake.

There's no way I can talk to her when I've face to face,

well, with her face.

So I do something stupid.

I start phoning her on my breaks.

Pretend I'm a high-flying businessman.

Just come back from Hong Kong.

Making jokes, chatting away, you know.

- You're calling her under an assumed name.

That's stalking, surely.

- It's not stalking.

- All right.

- You see the film Cyrano de Bergerac?

- No.

- Well the point is,

over the phone, we click, really click.

Laughing, joking.

She even says she's looking forward to me calling.

- This is all very touching, Lenny.

- Wait ... it gets worse.

The other night, I bit the bullet.

I asked her out, over the phone.

- [Vincent] What she say?

- Well she said yes.

It was a bit nerve-wracking, but she said yes.

Tonight.

- Tonight?

Let me get this straight.

She's expecting a jet-setting businessman to show up,

but instead she's gonna get

mild-mannered Lenny the stalker?

- I know.

I know.

- Jesus, Lenny, how do you think

she's gonna react to your little deception?

- I don't know.

I mean, you deceive women all the time.

- Yeah, the proper way, behind their backs.

This way lies insanity and ruin, Lenny.

- I don't know what I'm gonna do.

- It's simple, don't show up.

Don't do anything. Don't ever call her again.

Just walk away, just walk away from it.

(engine idling)

- Why is it locked?

- Fuck knows. It's a security thing.

- What, to keep people out or people like you in?

- Listen, Lenny, remember what I said.

Just walk away.

(muffled shouting)

Fuck it.

(upbeat rock music)

(devices beeping)

- Susie?

- [Susie] I think you look really nice.

I just love a man in uniform.

- Seriously?

- Yeah.

(exhaling)

(devices beeping)

(ventilator hissing)

- You poor bastard.

(upbeat rock music)

(alarm blaring)

By the way, your boyfriend's back.

(upbeat music)

(woman laughing)

(patrons chattering)

(upbeat music)

* Walked last night in the attic, people *

* I have a bar outside

- Vincent, what are you doing here?

- How you doing, Lenny?

I see you decided to take my advice and not show up.

- Yeah, well, don't worry, she's been and gone.

- What happened?

- I just couldn't do it.

She was there, and she waited for a bit,

and I sat here like the useless fucking lump

that I am, and then she left.

And I still sat here going over and over

the sorry fucking mess that passes for my life.

- You couldn't do it?

That's because you build it up to something it isn't.

And when you build it up, you also build up the fear.

It's no big deal. It's just talking to someone.

- Vincent, I don't really need this just now.

- Yeah, you do.

Otherwise, you'll never learn.

Look, I could pick any girl here, go up,

hit on her, and it would mean fuck all,

because I don't build it up.

I don't open up the door, invite the fear in for a coffee.

It means fuck all because it is fuck all.

Watch.

- Wait, Vincent, this really isn't necessary.

(upbeat music)

(patrons chattering)

- Hi.

You wanna hear something strange?

- I think so.

- There.

I saw this thing on TV about Philadelphia.

Actually, no, it's the University of Philadelphia.

Apparently, they have this sorta code there.

- Hold on.

Do you know who I am?

- What? No.

I just saw you sitting here alone.

- Oh, I get it.

Look, if it's all the same to you, I'm waiting for someone.

- Been waiting long?

- 10 minutes more, then I'm gone.

- So, this thing in Philadelphia,

you've gotta hear it to believe it.

- Look, I don't wanna be rude, but I'm waiting for someone.

- Oh, boyfriend.

- No, it's a guy I speak to on the phone at work.

Stupid, huh?

- Shit.

Oh, I'm sorry.

(upbeat music)

I'm a shithead.

Lenny, oi, wait up!

Hey!

I didn't realize. I'm sorry.

- And if you had realized, would that have

made such a difference?

- What are you talking about?

Of course it would.

- Have you spoken to Sean yet?

- That's a totally different issue, Lenny.

- Yeah, right.

(upbeat music)

(soft music)

(upbeat PA music)

(whistling)

- Joe, what are you waiting for, retirement?

- Fucking clock just moved backwards. I'm serious, Vinny.

- Young man, you're developing a very serious

attitude problem to this job.

- Vinny.

- [Vinny] In a minute, I gotta move these pallets

or Alec's gonna kill us.

- Vinny, Vinny.

- Just keep watching the clock, Joe.

Ha ha.

Joe?

Hey.

Hey, Joe.

Joe, Joe.

Joe.

Shit!

What are you gawking at?

Call a fucking ambulance, for Christ sake!

Who's first aid?

Who's first aid?

There better be a fucking first aid here.

He's not breathing right.

Look after him.

(upbeat PA music)

Where's the ambulance?

Did you call the fucking ambulance?

- Yeah yeah, it's on its way.

- Fuck.

- [Waitress] Not working again tonight?

- No, not tonight.

(siren blaring)

- [Vincent] How is he?

- I don't know.

- Somebody's meant to be first fucking aid.

Try breathing into his mouth or something.

- His mouth?

- Just fucking do it!

Fuck.

(siren blaring)

(banging on door)

Come on!

Shit.

The keys, who's got the fucking keys?

The keys!

Who's got the fucking keys?

- What the hell's going on?

- Alec, give me the keys.

- I haven't got the keys.

I gave them to one of the grocery boys.

- Oh fuck, Alec.

Who's got the fucking door keys?

Please, who's got the keys?

(soft saxophone music)

- Shouldn't we cover his face?

- [Attendant] Uh-uh.

(soft music)

- Careful.

(soft music)

You don't want to have another accident.

(soft music)

- Vincent? What are you doing here?

- Oh you know, just hanging out.

- You okay?

- No, I'm not.

This old guy I work with, Joe.

Just had a heart attack.

Didn't make it.

- Oh shit, I'm sorry.

Did you know him well?

- Yeah, pretty well.

We don't really know anything about each other, do we?

- What?

Come on, I don't know the name of some guy you work with.

That doesn't mean anything.

I bet you don't know the names of half

the people I work with.

I know for a fact Lenny doesn't know the names

of anybody he works with.

- Yeah, I suppose.

- Vincent, we're friends.

The rest is ... just details.

Shit.

(door closing)

Ever had one of those days when

the clock just wouldn't move quick enough?

- All the time.

You got somewhere important to go?

- Yeah, I've gotta find my girlfriend

and tell her that I love her.

Probably sounds pretty lame to you.

- No, not at all.

Sean, there's something I've gotta tell you.

- You know you've got a great smile?

- You're just saying that.

- Doesn't mean it isn't true.

(laughing)

- What?

- I know this is a little off the scale.

- You're joking, right?

I mean, this has to be a joke.

- I'm sorry.

I didn't realize who she was until we'd gone too far.

- You knew who she was before you?

Fuck, that's fucking low.

- I know.

- I can't believe I just said we're friends.

- I know what I did is so wrong.

I just wanna find a way to make it up to you.

- And how you gonna do that?

You gonna fly around the world the wrong way,

turn back time so that you can de-fuck my girlfriend?

- It wasn't just my fault. You were ignoring her.

- Fuck you!

- Ow.

It wasn't my fault.

Fuck it, man, I didn't even wanna do it.

It was the little guys downstairs!

They're in the driver's seat!

Oh, Sean.

I'm sorry!

But are you gonna spend weeks moping about this,

or are you finally gonna fucking do something?

(upbeat music)

* I can tell you one thing, baby *

* This ain't home

* This ain't home

(muffled speaking)

(cart banging)

* Half dirty minds, they all have me *

* Guess I'm doing it wrong

* Guess I'm doing it wrong

- Madeline?

Mad?

* Nobody here knows why I came

* Nobody here got the time

* Because there ain't nobody here *

* I guess I'm doing fine

* Guess I'm doing fine

Shit.

* I miss you, baby

* Every night I cry, I miss you, baby *

* Every night I lie, I miss you, baby *

(phone ringing)

* Every time I screw, I miss you, baby *

* Because I, because I, because I *

* Because I'm still in love with you *

* Still in love with you

- I wondered why I hadn't seen him for a couple of nights.

- [Sean] Well now you know.

- How hard did you hit him?

- Pretty hard.

- Cool.

- Yeah, and I'll tell you something else.

I don't care if I ever see him again.

- Look at you.

- [Sean] What?

- You're turning into Action Man.

- What about Madeline?

- [Sean] Well somebody phoned.

But when I picked it up, they held on

for a minute then hung up.

Lenny, you work in telecommunications.

- Uh-huh.

- You recognize this dialing code?

(soft music)

- Hm-mm.

- No, not many people would.

It's this horrible little seaside town

out in the middle of the nowhere.

You know, the kind of place people go

out of their way to avoid.

A friend of Madeline's has an aunt out there.

- It was Madeline who called?

- I don't know why I didn't think of it sooner.

It's her kind of crisis center.

- A crisis center?

- It's a girl thing.

- A girl thing?

- Yeah. - Yeah.

- I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna go out there, find her.

- I'm coming too.

- What?

- I'm coming too.

Sean, you need a car, you need a driver. I'm that guy.

- Well I wasn't planning on bringing anyone else, but,

okay.

- That's it, I'm coming too.

- What?

- You really think I'm gonna let the two

of you go out there unsupervised?

That's an accident waiting to happen.

- Okay, okay, bring the whole gang along.

- Where is this place?

- It's, uh,

lift up your cup, Lenny.

It's there.

(upbeat music)

(retching)

(upbeat music)

- Lenny, how can you be carsick? It's your car.

- I know.

I'm fine in the city.

It's just when I get out in the countryside.

(upbeat music)

- You okay?

- Kind of.

My eyes are smarting a bit.

- Yeah, mine too.

- Mine three.

- Must be the light or something.

(retching)

- Lenny, don't be so square. Switch the radio on.

- No, if it goes on, it doesn't go off.

- Not even when you switch the engine off?

- Jody, when you switch the engine off, it goes off.

When you switch it back on, it's back on.

- That's stupid.

- I know it's stupid.

Unfortunately, that's just the way it is.

* Is it too late to say I'm sorry *

- This music is terrible. Lenny, switch it off.

- It doesn't switch off.

* Just can't go on pretending

* That it came to a natural end *

* You wonder what you might have been, yeah yeah yeah *

- Hey, what's up ahead?

- Eh?

Oh.

- I don't believe it.

- [Sean] Pull over, and both of you stay in the car.

- [Lenny] Sean, listen.

- [Sean] No, stay in the car.

(engine idling)

* Eyes wide, like a child in the form of man *

* Look at me for a fantasy

- Nice going, porno boy.

What were you thinking of?

- Vincent forced me.

Ow!

Jody, he's very persuasive.

- You are such a girl.

- I mean, you know, I've never felt guilty

about anything in my life.

Ever.

But this time I fucked up, I really fucked up, Sean.

- You got a real nerve showing up here.

- I don't want us to fall out.

- It's a bit late for that.

- Anything I can do, I'll do it.

Anything.

- Yeah, there is something.

- Just name it.

- Give me your watch.

- Eh?

- You heard me.

- Mate, this watch belonged to Errol Flynn.

It doesn't even work anymore.

- Yeah yeah, I know about the watch.

- Wait, this watch, this watch.

Between you and me, I think it's where

I get my power from.

- Oh, and I thought it was the little guys downstairs.

- It's a unique combination.

- Vincent ... just give me the watch.

(soft saxophone music)

(cars passing)

This watch really belonged to Errol Flynn, huh?

- I've even got a certificate of ownership that proves it.

Oh, not the fucking watch!

- Think we're even now.

- Even? All I did was fuck your girlfriend.

That watch belonged to Errol Flynn.

- Vincent, you really want me to hit you again?

- You hit like a girl anyway.

- Yeah? Well I imagine you've been hit by a lot of girls.

* All I wanna do is make love to you *

* Say you will, you want me to

* All I wanna do is make love to you *

- What?

Jody, that's dangerous.

If I need to brake, Jody.

* I just died in your arms tonight *

* It musta been something you said *

* I just died in your arms tonight *

* Oh oh oh

* I just died in your arms tonight *

* I should have walked away

- [Sean] This is it.

- [Lenny] What?

- [Sean] This is it.

- [Lenny] Oh, right.

("I Just Died in Your Arms Tonight" by Cutting Crew)

- [Jody] Oh, thank God for that.

(birds calling)

Are you okay?

- Yeah.

- You getting outta the car?

- Yeah.

- In the near future?

(birds calling)

(doorbell ringing)

(birds singing)

(upbeat music)

(seagulls calling)

- So, uh, what now?

(upbeat music)

(seagulls calling)

(cars passing)

(upbeat music)

- I think I need to work out a new plan.

- There was an old plan?

- Yeah, there was a plan.

The plan was to come here, find Madeline, sort things out.

- Then what?

- And then, well, if the plan went

according to plan, we'd go home together to the city.

- And then what?

- And then bowling, we'd go bowling or something,

you know, do the fun things.

Go on dates.

- And then what?

- And then, well, I guess I'd swap my night shift

for a day shift so I didn't feel as thought I had

permanent jet lag without actually ever going anywhere.

- Oh.

Then what?

- What is it with you?

- What? I'm not disagreeing with him.

I just don't see what else there is.

Yeah, we can swap our Mickey Mouse night jobs

for Mickey Mouse day jobs, but for what?

For nine to five? Work in an office?

Commute with everyone else to and from work.

In bed by 11, up by seven.

Just don't see what the big payoff is.

- Vincent.

- [Jody] You really are in a bad mood.

- No, I'm not in a bad mood. I'm just being realistic.

I mean, can you really say your life would be significantly

better if you swapped your night shift for a day shift?

- Well probably if I still had a job.

- What?

- Say that again.

- I got fired.

- [Lenny] When?

- [Jody] When? Oh, it was about two weeks ago.

- Whoa. - What happened?

- [Jody] It's a long story.

- [Vincent] Just give us the short version.

- The short version, I hated my job, really hated it

and it showed, they fired me because they said

I was bringing everyone else down.

- [Sean] But you work on a conveyor belt.

- Yeah, I know.

- Hang on, hang on.

If you've been out of a job for two weeks,

how come you're still hanging around

every night with us acquaintances?

- Yeah.

- Because.

Because I've nothing better to do.

- That's the single most depressing thing

I think I've ever heard.

(diners chattering)

- Thanks.

- Thank you.

(diners chattering)

(slurping)

Look, guys, I appreciate the support,

but you really don't have to hang around here with me.

Why don't you go off and have some fun?

- You can have fun here?

- It was rhetorical.

- Oh.

Okay, come on, Lenny, let's go.

- Hey, invite me.

- What?

- [Jody] Invite me.

- Sorry.

- Invite me, invite me, invite me, invite me, invite me!

- Okay.

Jody, would you like to come with us?

- Where are you going?

- [Vincent] We're going to play crazy golf.

- No thank you.

(diners chattering)

(slurping)

(upbeat music)

- Jesus, what a depressing place.

I can feel the life being sucked outta me.

- [Lenny] That was weird, wasn't it?

- Hardly, just a matter of keeping your eye on the ball.

Like I say, it's a game for idiots.

- No, I meant weird as in Jody.

- Oh yeah.

You can hardly blame her.

We do kinda cut her outta the loop.

Almost makes me feel bad.

- Really?

I thought you didn't like Jody.

- Jody?

I think she's fucking great.

- [Lenny] You do?

- Yeah.

First time I met her, I tried to hit on her.

- [Lenny] No.

- Of course she knocked me back straight away,

as far-fetched as that sounds.

Just as well, though. I think she's way too smart for me.

- You don't act like it.

- Of course I don't act like it.

Even though we're friends, she's still a girl.

A line has to be drawn.

- Wait.

You said friends.

- Yeah.

- So, everyone is friends?

- Of course we're friends.

Look around you.

We're standing on a freezing golf course,

surrounded by King Kong and God knows what else,

in the middle of fucking nowhere.

That's what friends are for.

(seagulls calling)

- Hey ... you see those guys there?

- [Lenny] Vincent, get back on the clock.

- What is it?

- [Lenny] Whatever you do, don't look around.

- Shit.

Shit, oh shit.

- [Lenny] What is it?

- Bad news, I looked.

- [Lenny] Aw, shit.

- They're coming over.

- This isn't good. This is not good.

Is this good?

- As opposed to bad, no, it's not good.

- I can't do it. I can't face Gail.

- What are you talking about? That's Madeline.

- Next to Gail, that's Madeline?

- Yes, you idiot.

You think I'd be worried about Gail?

You're the one who's stalking her.

It's Madeline that's the problem.

- Aw, shit, why are they both here?

And why are they coming over?

What do they want, and what are we gonna do?

- All right, Lenny, snap out of it. We have to stay cool.

Come on, I been in tighter spots than this.

Just act dumb.

Whatever happens, just don't confess.

Don't mention Sean at all.

In fact, don't even speak if you can help it.

All right?

(upbeat music)

(slurping)

- Flowers, I should have brought her flowers.

- Flowers die.

- Chocolates then, they're romantic, right?

- Chocolates make you fat.

- Well, what do I do, just be myself?

- Might work, Sean, just as long

as you don't mention the tramp.

- The tramp?

- Figure of speech, as in Susie,

the girl you shagged in the hospital.

- Oh, yeah.

That'd be a bad idea, right?

(soft music)

- This is ... talk about a small world.

- Very small.

- I certainly didn't think I'd run into you again,

especially not here.

But in a fucked up way, I'm glad I have, because

I wanted to talk about the other night.

- Yeah?

- Yeah.

Look, I don't want this to sound cold, but

that was a mistake, a big mistake.

You were just in the wrong place at the right time.

And I'm not blaming you for the problems

with me and my boyfriend, even though you are

partly responsible for things going wrong.

- Whoa, whoa, whoa, don't go blaming me.

What we did has nothing to do with Sean and you.

- Sean?

- Yeah, you can't blame me.

- I never said Sean.

I said my boyfriend.

- No, no, I distinctly heard you say Sean.

Lenny, back me up here.

Thanks, really.

- How did you know that my boyfriend's name was Sean?

- Luck.

- You know,

I was thinking, while we're on the subject.

- [Sean] Uh-huh.

- I think it was a mistake bringing us all along.

- But you wanted to come.

- Yeah, I know, that's just so I could join in.

But on reflection.

- What?

- You're here to save a relationship, and you brought along

a sociopathic serial dater, a guy with porno reactions

and a Miss Know-It-All who pretends to have a job

so she doesn't have to stare into the black abyss

that is her life.

- I guess.

- [Jody] You may as well have brought the Tin Man,

the Scarecrow and the Cowardly Lion for all the help we are.

- You're helpful.

And as for Vincent and Lenny.

- Only an idiot would let the two of them

go out there unsupervised.

- Vincent, just answer me one question.

How long have you known that I'm Sean's girlfriend?

- Now hold on here, I didn't know about you and Sean

until just before we, you know.

I mean the University of Philadelphia--

- Wait a second, that's where I know you from.

He tried to pick me up the other night.

- Gail.

- How do you know my name?

- Just rewind there for a second.

You knew about Sean and me before we ended up in-

And I'm regretting it as I'm saying it.

In bed together.

- Technically yes, but we're talking minutes beforehand.

- Oh.

- Why does it sound so much worse than it sounds?

I mean the cafe, the Philadelphia stuff, that was genuine.

- If it was genuine on her,

then why did you try and use it on me?

- I said genuine, not original.

When you pay to see the Rolling Stones,

you expect to hear the classics.

Okay then.

And I only tried to pick you up to show Lenny how to do it,

so no harm done there.

- Who's Lenny?

And you work in the call center, right?

Night shift.

- I can't believe this.

How can you say Sean's your friend, and yet you still

went ahead, even though you knew, you knew.

- Yeah, and I'd like to know how you know my name.

Is this some kinda sick game you two play?

- Look, this isn't something you could explain

on a crazy golf course, trust me.

- You're unbelievable!

- Me, how am I the bad guy all of a sudden?

Look, I didn't make anybody do anything they didn't want to.

The main thing is Sean is here.

- Sean is here?

- Yeah, and the important thing is--

- Sean's here.

- I can't deal with this.

- Yes you can.

- Sean's here.

- Yes, Lenny, I think she gets the message.

- No.

I mean Sean's here.

(upbeat music)

- Gail, what am I gonna do?

- Just speak to him. You can do it.

- All right, I can do this.

(upbeat music)

Oh no, I can't do this.

- [Vincent] What's she doing?

- She's very bad at confrontations.

- No shit, Sherlock.

(soft music)

(hard breathing)

- Hi, can I get a Coke please?

(upbeat music)

- I just wanna be with Madeline.

(diners chattering)

- Sean?

- Hey.

- How's it going?

- It's not.

Listen, I can't talk. I've gotta find her.

- Sean, Sean!

- What?

- It's Madeline.

She's waiting for you at the pier.

- Is she?

- [Jody] Yeah.

- How do you know?

- Sean, it's me, Jody, I know.

(sighing)

(diners chattering)

(soft music)

(Madeline sobbing)

- [Madeline] What?

- You wouldn't happen to be Madeline, would you?

(children shouting in distance)

- [Gail] Hey, that puts me in the lead.

- Gail, not that I really care, but aren't you

concerned about your friend Madeline?

- Trust me, it's better not to get involved.

This is something she really needs to sort out herself.

And to be frank, I've been getting a little tired of it all.

Blah, blah, blah, Sean's avoiding me, blah, blah, blah.

Haven't seen him for weeks, blah, blah, blah.

Slept with Vincent, blah, blah, blah, it was rubbish.

- Vincent was rubbish?

- [Gail] Well, I don't know if that was her exact words.

- I know that I should go talk to him.

It's just ... I did something so stupid

it's going to ruin everything.

And I don't want us to split up.

That's why I ran away here to avoid him.

- You two make the perfect couple.

Jesus, you're both so selfish.

You think this just affects the two of you?

- Why? What do you mean?

- What about me?

I have to put up with it every night.

Sean going on and on and on about it.

Listen, if you don't get out there right now

and sort this out.

- I can't face him.

- Yes, you can.

This isn't the playground. You're not five years old.

And he loves you.

(soft music)

- He loves me?

- It's Sean, an Action Man.

He's come all the way out here.

You work it out.

(upbeat music)

(seagulls calling)

(upbeat music)

- Hey.

- Hey.

Is this about the wallpaper then?

- Yeah.

This is gonna sound stupid, but

I'm really pleased to see you.

- Yeah.

And I almost wished you weren't here

because ... I've got something to tell you.

I did something bad.

Really bad.

I slept with your friend Vincent.

- Oh.

- Oh?

- Oh.

- Wow, I expected-

I don't really know what I expected,

but something a little more X-rated than just Oh.

(seagulls calling)

- Oh.

- [Madeline] Sean, if you say Oh again.

- I knew.

- [Madeline] What?

- I knew.

- You knew?

Oh my God.

And still you came out here.

You poor thing.

- Madeline, listen.

- I'm the lowest of the low.

- Madeline.

- Lower even.

- Madeline.

- What?

- I did something bad.

Really bad.

- What?

What did you do?

(soft music)

I don't believe this.

For a minute there, when I saw you standing next to

King Kong, I, I was so pleased that you came out here.

And I, and I thought maybe we had a chance.

But now.

- We still have a chance.

- A chance?

People in burning buildings have a chance.

People in comas have a chance.

Fucking, we don't have a chance, Sean.

You fucking slept with someone else!

- You slept with someone else.

- It wasn't like that.

- It's Vincent. It's always like that.

- It wasn't like that.

- I'm just going to freshen up.

- Sure.

* I wanna know what love is

* I want you to show me

* I wanna feel what love is

* I know you can show me

* Ho, oh

(water running)

(crying)

- I didn't do it because I wanted to.

I did it because I didn't know anything anymore.

I didn't know whether I was pretty or ugly or,

what was happening with us.

And now everything's ruined.

Everything we've ever done, from our first date,

moving in together, everything.

We could have just come out here, stood at the pier,

shouted at each other.

Skipped the whole middle part.

(soft music)

(seagulls calling)

(soft music)

- [Lenny] I'll show you a trick, all right?

- [Gail] Okay.

- [Lenny] Right, this pound coin,

I'll shove all the way through my body, into that hand.

Okay?

- [Gail] Okay.

- Hang on there.

Through my shoulders, down this hand.

- No.

- There you go, yeah.

- Do it again.

- Do it again?

- Uh-huh.

- It takes a lot outta me.

- Do it again.

- Okay, okay, normal pound coin here, it's done.

- Uh-huh, uh-huh.

- Okay.

- [Gail] Uh-huh.

Let me see.

No.

- So how's it going?

- It's weird.

We're sitting there, just talking away, like real people.

- Any interesting side effects?

- No, none at all.

I actually, I actually asked her out, straight and simple.

- You asked her out, wow.

- So what did she say?

- Well she said no.

But I asked her.

- I'm proud of you, Lenny.

(soft music)

- Um, excuse me, have you lost something?

- Yeah, yeah, I have.

I seem to have lost my phone number.

I was wondering if I could have yours.

- Are you taking the purse?

- Did you see that?

- Saw it and enjoyed it.

- If I wasn't such a shallow person, I'd probably be having

some sort of crisis of confidence right now.

- Vincent?

- What?

- Just be glad you are such a shallow person.

- Yeah, thanks, Jody.

(soft music)

- [Sean] Are you sure you wanna do this?

- Sounds weird but, I just want some kind of,

I don't know, some kind of memento.

- Memento?

- It's a girl thing, you know.

- Yeah, sure, getting your photos taken

with your ex-boyfriend.

- Wow, ex-boyfriend.

- Yeah, it does sound weird.

(camera popping)

- Damn.

- We got three more.

- Right, we can do this.

- Madeline?

If this is the end of the line for us,

who's gonna move out?

- What?

- Of the flat, one of us will have to move out.

- I'm really fond of the flat.

- So am I.

- Sean.

(camera popping)

Dammit.

I'm not moving out, end of story.

- Well I'm not moving out, end of story.

- [Madeline] Well one of us will have to move out.

- [Sean] It's not gonna be me.

- [Madeline] It's not gonna be me.

- How do you think it's going?

- [Sean] I don't wanna argue about this.

- Is that a serious question?

- You two, sh. I'm trying to learn something here.

- [Madeline] Me? Sean, you're the one being unreasonable.

- [Sean] We could always share.

- [Madeline] What?

- [Sean] Well, I could sleep there during the day.

You could sleep there during the night.

- Yeah, right, why don't we just go back out then?

- Fine, forget it.

(camera popping)

(soft music)

- Just like the bad old days, huh?

- Yeah.

(soft music)

They weren't that bad.

(soft music)

- I think it's about to pop.

- I know.

- It's our last chance.

* These dreams in these mist

* Darkness on the edge, shadows where I stand *

* I search for the time on a watch with no hands *

* I want to see you clearly

* Come closer than this

* But all I remember

* Are the dreams in the mist

* These dreams

* Go on when I close my eyes

* Every second of the night

* I live another life

* These dreams

* That sleep when it's cold outside *

* Every moment I'm awake

* The further I'm away

* Is it cloak and dagger?

* Could it be spring or fall?

* Make it

(upbeat music)

* The sun is shining, the weather is sweet yeah *

* Boy, makes you wanna move those dancing feet *

* For the rescue, here I am

* I want you to know

* Here I stand

* As the morning gathers a rainbow *

* I want you to know now that I'm a rainbow with you *

("The Sun is Shining" by Finley Quaye)

* Because I'm a hero like Robert DeNiro *

* I know an Ital Rasta man

* I gotta keep eye height

* Protection until time

* The sun is shining, yeah

* War is explosive

* You got to demonstrate

* Demonstrate, you got to demonstrate *

* Don't fight

* The sun is shining

* For you

* There's nothing else to do

* Sun is shining, the weather is sweet, yeah *

* It makes you wanna move those dancing feet *

* To the rescue, here I am

* I want you to know, y'all

* Here I stand

* As the morning gathers a rainbow *

* I want you to know now that I'm a rainbow with you *

* Whoa, whoa whoa, yeah

* Test the eye, test the eye

* Fear no evil

* Channel like a lion, channel like a lion *

* Some say, yeah

* Money in my

* One on one

* Money in my pocket

* But I just can't get your love *

* Some say, yeah

* And the sun is shining, don't fight *

* You got soul and you're chopping it up aero *

* For you

* There's nothing else to do

- [Vincent] I know we've only just met, but

can I tell you a story?

- [Woman] I suppose.

- [Vincent] Yeah, there was this guy I knew.

Worked night shifts,

and his girlfriend, she worked day shifts.

Although they shared a flat,

they never got to see each other.

- [Woman] Now that's a shame.

- [Vincent] Yeah, anyway, this guy used to go home

after each shift, check the pillow, check the towels,

check the soap, basically looking for signs

to see if his girlfriend still lived with him.

- [Woman] And did she?

- She did, but then things went a bit haywire.

That's not the point.

This guy, think about it.

He's actually checking the soap

to see if it's getting smaller.

Don't you think that's just so--

- [Woman] Romantic.

- [Vincent] Romantic?

- [Woman] Don't you think it's romantic?

Like they were leaving little clues for each other.

- [Vincent] I don't know if romantic's

the word I was looking for.

- [Woman] I think that's a lovely story.

- [Vincent] Sure, the point is,

what I'm trying to get at is, would you go to bed with me?

- [Woman] What?

- [Jody] Vincent, leave that girl alone.

("The Sun is Shining" by Finley Quaye)