All language subtitles for SNL S03E18 Steve Martin.DVDRip.HI.RLP.cc.en.UNVSL

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,602 --> 00:00:07,484 I'M DON KIRSHNER, AND WELCOME TO "ROCK CONCERT." [LAUGHTER] 2 00:00:07,508 --> 00:00:10,887 TO "ROCK CONCERT." [LAUGHTER] IN 1969, MARSHALL CHECKERS OF 3 00:00:10,911 --> 00:00:13,490 [LAUGHTER] IN 1969, MARSHALL CHECKERS OF THE LEGENDARY CHECKERS RECORDS 4 00:00:13,514 --> 00:00:15,959 IN 1969, MARSHALL CHECKERS OF THE LEGENDARY CHECKERS RECORDS CALLED ME ON A NEW BLUES ACT 5 00:00:15,983 --> 00:00:18,828 THE LEGENDARY CHECKERS RECORDS CALLED ME ON A NEW BLUES ACT THAT HAD BEEN PLAYING IN SMALL, 6 00:00:18,852 --> 00:00:21,164 CALLED ME ON A NEW BLUES ACT THAT HAD BEEN PLAYING IN SMALL, FUNKY CLUBS ON CHICAGO'S 7 00:00:21,188 --> 00:00:22,332 THAT HAD BEEN PLAYING IN SMALL, FUNKY CLUBS ON CHICAGO'S SOUTH SIDE. 8 00:00:22,356 --> 00:00:24,434 FUNKY CLUBS ON CHICAGO'S SOUTH SIDE. TODAY, WITH THE HELP OF 9 00:00:24,458 --> 00:00:27,570 SOUTH SIDE. TODAY, WITH THE HELP OF NESERY WEXLER, JERRY ERDEGAN, 10 00:00:27,594 --> 00:00:28,505 TODAY, WITH THE HELP OF NESERY WEXLER, JERRY ERDEGAN, AND THE STAFF OF 11 00:00:28,529 --> 00:00:31,274 NESERY WEXLER, JERRY ERDEGAN, AND THE STAFF OF PACIFIC RECORDS, THEIR MANAGER, 12 00:00:31,298 --> 00:00:33,743 AND THE STAFF OF PACIFIC RECORDS, THEIR MANAGER, MOREY DANIELS, AND WITH THE 13 00:00:33,767 --> 00:00:36,046 PACIFIC RECORDS, THEIR MANAGER, MOREY DANIELS, AND WITH THE SUPPORT OF FELLOW ARTISTS 14 00:00:36,070 --> 00:00:38,048 MOREY DANIELS, AND WITH THE SUPPORT OF FELLOW ARTISTS CURTIS SALGADO AND THE 15 00:00:38,072 --> 00:00:40,984 SUPPORT OF FELLOW ARTISTS CURTIS SALGADO AND THE CRAY BAND, THEY ARE NO LONGER AN 16 00:00:41,008 --> 00:00:43,586 CURTIS SALGADO AND THE CRAY BAND, THEY ARE NO LONGER AN AUTHENTIC BLUES ACT BUT HAVE 17 00:00:43,610 --> 00:00:46,023 CRAY BAND, THEY ARE NO LONGER AN AUTHENTIC BLUES ACT BUT HAVE MANAGED TO BECOME A VIABLE 18 00:00:46,047 --> 00:00:48,358 AUTHENTIC BLUES ACT BUT HAVE MANAGED TO BECOME A VIABLE COMMERCIAL PRODUCT. 19 00:00:48,382 --> 00:00:50,093 MANAGED TO BECOME A VIABLE COMMERCIAL PRODUCT. SO, NOW LET'S JOIN 20 00:00:50,117 --> 00:00:52,629 COMMERCIAL PRODUCT. SO, NOW LET'S JOIN "JOLIET" JAKE AND HIS SILENT 21 00:00:52,653 --> 00:00:54,064 SO, NOW LET'S JOIN "JOLIET" JAKE AND HIS SILENT BROTHER ELWOOD... 22 00:00:54,088 --> 00:00:58,902 "JOLIET" JAKE AND HIS SILENT BROTHER ELWOOD... THE BLUES BROTHERS. 23 00:00:58,926 --> 00:01:00,970 BROTHER ELWOOD... THE BLUES BROTHERS. ♪ I WENT BALLING THE OTHER 24 00:01:00,994 --> 00:01:02,305 THE BLUES BROTHERS. ♪ I WENT BALLING THE OTHER NIGHT ♪ 25 00:01:02,329 --> 00:01:04,408 ♪ I WENT BALLING THE OTHER NIGHT ♪ ♪ STARTED DRINKING AND GOT REAL 26 00:01:04,432 --> 00:01:05,708 NIGHT ♪ ♪ STARTED DRINKING AND GOT REAL TIGHT ♪ 27 00:01:05,732 --> 00:01:07,610 ♪ STARTED DRINKING AND GOT REAL TIGHT ♪ ♪ I BLEW EACH AND ALL MY 28 00:01:07,634 --> 00:01:08,578 TIGHT ♪ ♪ I BLEW EACH AND ALL MY FRIENDS ♪ 29 00:01:08,602 --> 00:01:10,613 ♪ I BLEW EACH AND ALL MY FRIENDS ♪ ♪ IT FELT SO GOOD, I HAD TO BLOW 30 00:01:10,637 --> 00:01:11,748 FRIENDS ♪ ♪ IT FELT SO GOOD, I HAD TO BLOW AGAIN ♪ 31 00:01:11,772 --> 00:01:14,051 ♪ IT FELT SO GOOD, I HAD TO BLOW AGAIN ♪ ♪ I SAID, "HEY, BARTENDER ♪ 32 00:01:14,075 --> 00:01:18,422 AGAIN ♪ ♪ I SAID, "HEY, BARTENDER ♪ ♪ HEY, MAN, LOOKA HERE ♪ 33 00:01:18,446 --> 00:01:20,323 ♪ I SAID, "HEY, BARTENDER ♪ ♪ HEY, MAN, LOOKA HERE ♪ ♪ A DRAW ONE, DRAW TWO, DRAW 34 00:01:20,347 --> 00:01:25,062 ♪ HEY, MAN, LOOKA HERE ♪ ♪ A DRAW ONE, DRAW TWO, DRAW THREE, FOUR GLASSES OF BEER" ♪ 35 00:01:25,086 --> 00:01:27,797 ♪ A DRAW ONE, DRAW TWO, DRAW THREE, FOUR GLASSES OF BEER" ♪ ♪ YEAH, I SAW A CHICK SITTING ON 36 00:01:27,821 --> 00:01:29,399 THREE, FOUR GLASSES OF BEER" ♪ ♪ YEAH, I SAW A CHICK SITTING ON THE END ♪ 37 00:01:29,423 --> 00:01:31,168 ♪ YEAH, I SAW A CHICK SITTING ON THE END ♪ ♪ I SAID, "BABY, CAN'T WE BE 38 00:01:31,192 --> 00:01:32,469 THE END ♪ ♪ I SAID, "BABY, CAN'T WE BE FRIENDS? ♪ 39 00:01:32,493 --> 00:01:34,571 ♪ I SAID, "BABY, CAN'T WE BE FRIENDS? ♪ ♪ YOU LOOK AS SWEET AS YOU CAN 40 00:01:34,595 --> 00:01:35,705 FRIENDS? ♪ ♪ YOU LOOK AS SWEET AS YOU CAN BE ♪ 41 00:01:35,729 --> 00:01:37,774 ♪ YOU LOOK AS SWEET AS YOU CAN BE ♪ ♪ WELL, COME ON DOWN, AND DRINK 42 00:01:37,798 --> 00:01:38,542 BE ♪ ♪ WELL, COME ON DOWN, AND DRINK WITH ME ♪ 43 00:01:38,566 --> 00:01:41,044 ♪ WELL, COME ON DOWN, AND DRINK WITH ME ♪ ♪ I SAID, "HEY, BARTENDER ♪ 44 00:01:41,068 --> 00:01:45,382 WITH ME ♪ ♪ I SAID, "HEY, BARTENDER ♪ ♪ HEY, MAN, LOOKA HERE ♪ 45 00:01:45,406 --> 00:01:47,584 ♪ I SAID, "HEY, BARTENDER ♪ ♪ HEY, MAN, LOOKA HERE ♪ ♪ DRAW ONE, DRAW TWO, DRAW 46 00:01:47,608 --> 00:01:52,655 ♪ HEY, MAN, LOOKA HERE ♪ ♪ DRAW ONE, DRAW TWO, DRAW THREE, FOUR GLASSES OF BEER" ♪ 47 00:01:52,679 --> 00:01:55,559 ♪ DRAW ONE, DRAW TWO, DRAW THREE, FOUR GLASSES OF BEER" ♪ [HARMONICA SOLO] 48 00:02:19,239 --> 00:02:25,155 ♪ WELL, WE WAS HAVING SO MUCH FUN ♪ ♪ I DIDN'T KNOW IT WAS HALF 49 00:02:25,179 --> 00:02:26,789 FUN ♪ ♪ I DIDN'T KNOW IT WAS HALF PAST 1:00 ♪ 50 00:02:26,813 --> 00:02:29,092 ♪ I DIDN'T KNOW IT WAS HALF PAST 1:00 ♪ ♪ I TURNED AROUND TO HAVE ONE 51 00:02:29,116 --> 00:02:29,626 PAST 1:00 ♪ ♪ I TURNED AROUND TO HAVE ONE MORE ♪ 52 00:02:29,650 --> 00:02:31,461 ♪ I TURNED AROUND TO HAVE ONE MORE ♪ ♪ I LOOKED AT THE CLOCK, AND 53 00:02:31,485 --> 00:02:32,895 MORE ♪ ♪ I LOOKED AT THE CLOCK, AND IT WAS HALF PAST 4:00 ♪ 54 00:02:32,919 --> 00:02:35,465 ♪ I LOOKED AT THE CLOCK, AND IT WAS HALF PAST 4:00 ♪ ♪ I SAID, "HEY, BARTENDER ♪ 55 00:02:35,489 --> 00:02:39,569 IT WAS HALF PAST 4:00 ♪ ♪ I SAID, "HEY, BARTENDER ♪ ♪ HEY, MAN, LOOKA HERE ♪ 56 00:02:39,593 --> 00:02:41,904 ♪ I SAID, "HEY, BARTENDER ♪ ♪ HEY, MAN, LOOKA HERE ♪ ♪ DRAW ONE, DRAW TWO, DRAW 57 00:02:41,928 --> 00:02:46,343 ♪ HEY, MAN, LOOKA HERE ♪ ♪ DRAW ONE, DRAW TWO, DRAW THREE, FOUR GLASSES OF BEER" ♪ 58 00:02:46,367 --> 00:02:48,711 ♪ DRAW ONE, DRAW TWO, DRAW THREE, FOUR GLASSES OF BEER" ♪ ♪ WELL, JUKEBOX PLAYER IS 59 00:02:48,735 --> 00:02:50,647 THREE, FOUR GLASSES OF BEER" ♪ ♪ WELL, JUKEBOX PLAYER IS EVERYTHING ♪ 60 00:02:50,671 --> 00:02:53,916 ♪ WELL, JUKEBOX PLAYER IS EVERYTHING ♪ ♪ ALL THE CATS BEGAN TO SING ♪ 61 00:02:53,940 --> 00:02:56,719 EVERYTHING ♪ ♪ ALL THE CATS BEGAN TO SING ♪ ♪ I HEARD SOMEBODY CALL AND 62 00:02:56,743 --> 00:02:58,888 ♪ ALL THE CATS BEGAN TO SING ♪ ♪ I HEARD SOMEBODY CALL AND SAID, "LAST ROUND FOR 63 00:02:58,912 --> 00:03:00,123 ♪ I HEARD SOMEBODY CALL AND SAID, "LAST ROUND FOR ALKY-HOL" ♪ 64 00:03:00,147 --> 00:03:03,860 SAID, "LAST ROUND FOR ALKY-HOL" ♪ ♪ I SAID, "HEY, BARTENDER ♪ 65 00:03:03,884 --> 00:03:06,929 ALKY-HOL" ♪ ♪ I SAID, "HEY, BARTENDER ♪ ♪ HEY, BARTENDER ♪ 66 00:03:06,953 --> 00:03:08,131 ♪ I SAID, "HEY, BARTENDER ♪ ♪ HEY, BARTENDER ♪ ♪ DRAW ONE... 67 00:03:08,155 --> 00:03:09,132 ♪ HEY, BARTENDER ♪ ♪ DRAW ONE... TWO... 68 00:03:09,156 --> 00:03:11,890 ♪ DRAW ONE... TWO... THREE, FOUR GLASSES OF BEER" ♪ 69 00:03:17,129 --> 00:03:21,066 ♪ WOOOWWW ♪ [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 70 00:03:27,674 --> 00:03:35,674 LIVE FROM NEW YORK, IT'S "SATURDAY NIGHT"! [BAND PLAYS] 71 00:03:39,086 --> 00:03:40,197 "SATURDAY NIGHT"! [BAND PLAYS] Announcer: IT'S 72 00:03:40,221 --> 00:03:42,387 [BAND PLAYS] Announcer: IT'S "SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE"! 73 00:03:45,592 --> 00:03:48,993 STARRING... 74 00:03:55,268 --> 00:03:57,102 WITH HIS SPECIAL GUESTS... 75 00:04:09,148 --> 00:04:17,148 JOHN BELUSHI... JANE CURTIN... GARRETT MORRIS... 76 00:04:17,791 --> 00:04:20,503 JANE CURTIN... GARRETT MORRIS... BILL MURRAY... 77 00:04:20,527 --> 00:04:23,139 GARRETT MORRIS... BILL MURRAY... LARAINE NEWMAN... 78 00:04:23,163 --> 00:04:25,631 BILL MURRAY... LARAINE NEWMAN... AND... 79 00:04:29,469 --> 00:04:36,541 LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, STEVE MARTIN! [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 80 00:04:52,392 --> 00:05:00,392 HEY. [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE CONTINUE] WHAT? FOR ME?! 81 00:05:00,534 --> 00:05:04,447 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE CONTINUE] WHAT? FOR ME?! THANK YOU. 82 00:05:04,471 --> 00:05:06,750 WHAT? FOR ME?! THANK YOU. THANK YOU VERY MUCH. 83 00:05:06,774 --> 00:05:07,917 THANK YOU. THANK YOU VERY MUCH. YOU KNOW, A LOT OF PEOPLE COME 84 00:05:07,941 --> 00:05:11,288 THANK YOU VERY MUCH. YOU KNOW, A LOT OF PEOPLE COME TO ME, AND THEY SAY, "STEVE... 85 00:05:11,312 --> 00:05:13,423 YOU KNOW, A LOT OF PEOPLE COME TO ME, AND THEY SAY, "STEVE... WHERE DO YOU GET YOUR COMEDY 86 00:05:13,447 --> 00:05:15,024 TO ME, AND THEY SAY, "STEVE... WHERE DO YOU GET YOUR COMEDY IDEAS?" 87 00:05:15,048 --> 00:05:16,726 WHERE DO YOU GET YOUR COMEDY IDEAS?" WELL, I TRY TO DRAW THEM FROM 88 00:05:16,750 --> 00:05:18,861 IDEAS?" WELL, I TRY TO DRAW THEM FROM REAL LIFE, THINGS THAT HAPPEN TO 89 00:05:18,885 --> 00:05:20,363 WELL, I TRY TO DRAW THEM FROM REAL LIFE, THINGS THAT HAPPEN TO YOU AND ME EVERY DAY, THINGS WE 90 00:05:20,387 --> 00:05:21,298 REAL LIFE, THINGS THAT HAPPEN TO YOU AND ME EVERY DAY, THINGS WE CAN ALL RELATE TO. 91 00:05:21,322 --> 00:05:22,832 YOU AND ME EVERY DAY, THINGS WE CAN ALL RELATE TO. LIKE, EARLY IN THE MORNING, 92 00:05:22,856 --> 00:05:24,233 CAN ALL RELATE TO. LIKE, EARLY IN THE MORNING, YOU'RE SOUND ASLEEP, THE 93 00:05:24,257 --> 00:05:26,002 LIKE, EARLY IN THE MORNING, YOU'RE SOUND ASLEEP, THE TELEPHONE RINGS, AND YOU PICK UP 94 00:05:26,026 --> 00:05:27,337 YOU'RE SOUND ASLEEP, THE TELEPHONE RINGS, AND YOU PICK UP THE PHONE, AND YOUR VOICE IS ALL 95 00:05:27,361 --> 00:05:29,071 TELEPHONE RINGS, AND YOU PICK UP THE PHONE, AND YOUR VOICE IS ALL SCRATCHY AND GRAVELLY. 96 00:05:29,095 --> 00:05:31,675 THE PHONE, AND YOUR VOICE IS ALL SCRATCHY AND GRAVELLY. AND YOU'RE GOING, "HELLO..." 97 00:05:31,699 --> 00:05:33,510 SCRATCHY AND GRAVELLY. AND YOU'RE GOING, "HELLO..." THE VOICE ON THE OTHER END OF 98 00:05:33,534 --> 00:05:34,944 AND YOU'RE GOING, "HELLO..." THE VOICE ON THE OTHER END OF THE PHONE ALWAYS SAYS, 99 00:05:34,968 --> 00:05:37,414 THE VOICE ON THE OTHER END OF THE PHONE ALWAYS SAYS, "OH, DID I ASSASSINATE YOUR 100 00:05:37,438 --> 00:05:38,348 THE PHONE ALWAYS SAYS, "OH, DID I ASSASSINATE YOUR PENGUIN?" 101 00:05:38,372 --> 00:05:42,285 "OH, DID I ASSASSINATE YOUR PENGUIN?" [LAUGHTER] 102 00:05:42,309 --> 00:05:44,220 PENGUIN?" [LAUGHTER] I CAN SEE THIS HAPPENS TO YOU, 103 00:05:44,244 --> 00:05:45,722 [LAUGHTER] I CAN SEE THIS HAPPENS TO YOU, TOO. 104 00:05:45,746 --> 00:05:47,190 I CAN SEE THIS HAPPENS TO YOU, TOO. BECAUSE YOU HAVE TO HAVE 105 00:05:47,214 --> 00:05:49,859 TOO. BECAUSE YOU HAVE TO HAVE IDEAS THAT RELATE TO EVERYONE, 106 00:05:49,883 --> 00:05:51,294 BECAUSE YOU HAVE TO HAVE IDEAS THAT RELATE TO EVERYONE, THAT EVERYONE CAN UNDERSTAND. 107 00:05:51,318 --> 00:05:52,829 IDEAS THAT RELATE TO EVERYONE, THAT EVERYONE CAN UNDERSTAND. NOT COME OUT HERE AND DO THINGS 108 00:05:52,853 --> 00:05:54,230 THAT EVERYONE CAN UNDERSTAND. NOT COME OUT HERE AND DO THINGS THAT ARE OVER THE AUDIENCE'S 109 00:05:54,254 --> 00:05:56,165 NOT COME OUT HERE AND DO THINGS THAT ARE OVER THE AUDIENCE'S HEAD, OTHERWISE YOU MAY AS WELL 110 00:05:56,189 --> 00:05:57,900 THAT ARE OVER THE AUDIENCE'S HEAD, OTHERWISE YOU MAY AS WELL BE LIKE, UH... DEMETRI IN 111 00:05:57,924 --> 00:06:01,404 HEAD, OTHERWISE YOU MAY AS WELL BE LIKE, UH... DEMETRI IN "CONDITIONS HUMAINES"... 112 00:06:01,428 --> 00:06:05,675 BE LIKE, UH... DEMETRI IN "CONDITIONS HUMAINES"... OR EDUARDO IN "THE POSSESSED." 113 00:06:05,699 --> 00:06:08,712 "CONDITIONS HUMAINES"... OR EDUARDO IN "THE POSSESSED." BUT THE DANGER IN COMING OUT ON 114 00:06:08,736 --> 00:06:10,880 OR EDUARDO IN "THE POSSESSED." BUT THE DANGER IN COMING OUT ON TV SHOWS AND DOING COMEDY 115 00:06:10,904 --> 00:06:13,850 BUT THE DANGER IN COMING OUT ON TV SHOWS AND DOING COMEDY MONOLOGUES AND RELEASING COMEDY 116 00:06:13,874 --> 00:06:17,721 TV SHOWS AND DOING COMEDY MONOLOGUES AND RELEASING COMEDY ALBUMS... YOU CAN BE TYPECAST AS 117 00:06:17,745 --> 00:06:19,956 MONOLOGUES AND RELEASING COMEDY ALBUMS... YOU CAN BE TYPECAST AS A COMEDIAN. 118 00:06:19,980 --> 00:06:20,890 ALBUMS... YOU CAN BE TYPECAST AS A COMEDIAN. SO WHAT I DO IN THE 119 00:06:20,914 --> 00:06:22,091 A COMEDIAN. SO WHAT I DO IN THE SUMMERTIME... I'M HAPPY TO 120 00:06:22,115 --> 00:06:23,660 SO WHAT I DO IN THE SUMMERTIME... I'M HAPPY TO ANNOUNCE THIS... I ALWAYS DO 121 00:06:23,684 --> 00:06:26,363 SUMMERTIME... I'M HAPPY TO ANNOUNCE THIS... I ALWAYS DO SHAKESPEAREAN FESTIVALS. 122 00:06:26,387 --> 00:06:27,764 ANNOUNCE THIS... I ALWAYS DO SHAKESPEAREAN FESTIVALS. THIS SUMMER, I'LL BE GOING DOWN 123 00:06:27,788 --> 00:06:30,099 SHAKESPEAREAN FESTIVALS. THIS SUMMER, I'LL BE GOING DOWN TO SAN DIEGO FOR TWO WEEKS TO DO 124 00:06:30,123 --> 00:06:31,634 THIS SUMMER, I'LL BE GOING DOWN TO SAN DIEGO FOR TWO WEEKS TO DO SHAKESPEARE IN THE PARK. 125 00:06:31,658 --> 00:06:33,336 TO SAN DIEGO FOR TWO WEEKS TO DO SHAKESPEARE IN THE PARK. WE'LL BE DOING "KING LEAR." 126 00:06:33,360 --> 00:06:34,371 SHAKESPEARE IN THE PARK. WE'LL BE DOING "KING LEAR." I'LL BE PLAYING THE ROLE OF 127 00:06:34,395 --> 00:06:37,374 WE'LL BE DOING "KING LEAR." I'LL BE PLAYING THE ROLE OF LITTLE RICHARD. 128 00:06:37,398 --> 00:06:39,041 I'LL BE PLAYING THE ROLE OF LITTLE RICHARD. THEN I WILL GO UP TO 129 00:06:39,065 --> 00:06:40,142 LITTLE RICHARD. THEN I WILL GO UP TO SAN FRANCISCO FOR THREE WEEKS 130 00:06:40,166 --> 00:06:40,610 THEN I WILL GO UP TO SAN FRANCISCO FOR THREE WEEKS THERE FOR 131 00:06:40,634 --> 00:06:41,678 SAN FRANCISCO FOR THREE WEEKS THERE FOR SHAKESPEARE UNDER THE STARS. 132 00:06:41,702 --> 00:06:42,311 THERE FOR SHAKESPEARE UNDER THE STARS. WE'LL BE DOING 133 00:06:42,335 --> 00:06:43,813 SHAKESPEARE UNDER THE STARS. WE'LL BE DOING "ROMEO AND JULIET." 134 00:06:43,837 --> 00:06:46,315 WE'LL BE DOING "ROMEO AND JULIET." I'LL BE PLAYING THE ROLE OF EARL 135 00:06:46,339 --> 00:06:47,650 "ROMEO AND JULIET." I'LL BE PLAYING THE ROLE OF EARL THE JACUZZI SALESMAN. 136 00:06:47,674 --> 00:06:51,454 I'LL BE PLAYING THE ROLE OF EARL THE JACUZZI SALESMAN. [LAUGHTER] 137 00:06:51,478 --> 00:06:53,289 THE JACUZZI SALESMAN. [LAUGHTER] BUT I HAD, A COUPLE OF MONTHS 138 00:06:53,313 --> 00:06:55,658 [LAUGHTER] BUT I HAD, A COUPLE OF MONTHS AGO, A VERY... IMPORTANT 139 00:06:55,682 --> 00:06:56,793 BUT I HAD, A COUPLE OF MONTHS AGO, A VERY... IMPORTANT EXPERIENCE IN MY LIFE, AND I'D 140 00:06:56,817 --> 00:06:57,827 AGO, A VERY... IMPORTANT EXPERIENCE IN MY LIFE, AND I'D LIKE TO SHARE IT WITH YOU. 141 00:06:57,851 --> 00:07:01,030 EXPERIENCE IN MY LIFE, AND I'D LIKE TO SHARE IT WITH YOU. I WENT TO FRANCE, AND I VISITED 142 00:07:01,054 --> 00:07:03,400 LIKE TO SHARE IT WITH YOU. I WENT TO FRANCE, AND I VISITED THE CATHEDRAL AT CHARTRES, AND 143 00:07:03,424 --> 00:07:05,001 I WENT TO FRANCE, AND I VISITED THE CATHEDRAL AT CHARTRES, AND I HAD A VERY MOVING EXPERIENCE. 144 00:07:05,025 --> 00:07:06,403 THE CATHEDRAL AT CHARTRES, AND I HAD A VERY MOVING EXPERIENCE. IF YOU'VE NEVER SEEN IT, IT'S A 145 00:07:06,427 --> 00:07:07,737 I HAD A VERY MOVING EXPERIENCE. IF YOU'VE NEVER SEEN IT, IT'S A MAGNIFICENT BUILDING, PROBABLY 146 00:07:07,761 --> 00:07:10,339 IF YOU'VE NEVER SEEN IT, IT'S A MAGNIFICENT BUILDING, PROBABLY 400 YEARS OLD, BEAUTIFUL STAINED 147 00:07:10,363 --> 00:07:12,041 MAGNIFICENT BUILDING, PROBABLY 400 YEARS OLD, BEAUTIFUL STAINED GLASS, AND I HAVE TO BE HONEST 148 00:07:12,065 --> 00:07:13,910 400 YEARS OLD, BEAUTIFUL STAINED GLASS, AND I HAVE TO BE HONEST WITH YOU, I WAS VERY, VERY 149 00:07:13,934 --> 00:07:14,711 GLASS, AND I HAVE TO BE HONEST WITH YOU, I WAS VERY, VERY MOVED. 150 00:07:14,735 --> 00:07:16,746 WITH YOU, I WAS VERY, VERY MOVED. AND AS I WAS... WRITING MY NAME 151 00:07:16,770 --> 00:07:18,147 MOVED. AND AS I WAS... WRITING MY NAME ON IT WITH A CAN OF SPRAY 152 00:07:18,171 --> 00:07:19,215 AND AS I WAS... WRITING MY NAME ON IT WITH A CAN OF SPRAY PAINT... 153 00:07:19,239 --> 00:07:23,052 ON IT WITH A CAN OF SPRAY PAINT... [LAUGHTER] 154 00:07:23,076 --> 00:07:25,622 PAINT... [LAUGHTER] I THOUGHT OF SOMETHING I READ 155 00:07:25,646 --> 00:07:27,724 [LAUGHTER] I THOUGHT OF SOMETHING I READ ABOUT A YEAR AGO THAT HAS 156 00:07:27,748 --> 00:07:29,893 I THOUGHT OF SOMETHING I READ ABOUT A YEAR AGO THAT HAS COMPLETELY CHANGED MY LIFE, AND 157 00:07:29,917 --> 00:07:31,928 ABOUT A YEAR AGO THAT HAS COMPLETELY CHANGED MY LIFE, AND TONIGHT, I WOULD LIKE TO SHARE 158 00:07:31,952 --> 00:07:32,595 COMPLETELY CHANGED MY LIFE, AND TONIGHT, I WOULD LIKE TO SHARE THIS WITH YOU. 159 00:07:32,619 --> 00:07:33,730 TONIGHT, I WOULD LIKE TO SHARE THIS WITH YOU. IT'S NOT OFTEN IN LITERATURE 160 00:07:33,754 --> 00:07:35,231 THIS WITH YOU. IT'S NOT OFTEN IN LITERATURE THAT YOU COME ACROSS A PHRASE OR 161 00:07:35,255 --> 00:07:36,766 IT'S NOT OFTEN IN LITERATURE THAT YOU COME ACROSS A PHRASE OR SENTENCE THAT REALLY MEANS A LOT 162 00:07:36,790 --> 00:07:38,100 THAT YOU COME ACROSS A PHRASE OR SENTENCE THAT REALLY MEANS A LOT TO YOU, AND I'D LIKE TO READ 163 00:07:38,124 --> 00:07:42,405 SENTENCE THAT REALLY MEANS A LOT TO YOU, AND I'D LIKE TO READ THIS TO YOU RIGHT NOW... 164 00:07:42,429 --> 00:07:44,273 TO YOU, AND I'D LIKE TO READ THIS TO YOU RIGHT NOW... "APPLY TO INFESTED AREA." 165 00:07:44,297 --> 00:07:46,657 THIS TO YOU RIGHT NOW... "APPLY TO INFESTED AREA." [LAUGHTER] 166 00:07:59,579 --> 00:08:05,328 YOU KNOW... [APPLAUSE] THANK YOU. 167 00:08:05,352 --> 00:08:06,763 [APPLAUSE] THANK YOU. I'M KIND OF INTO MAGIC, AND 168 00:08:06,787 --> 00:08:08,030 THANK YOU. I'M KIND OF INTO MAGIC, AND TONIGHT I'D LIKE TO TRY 169 00:08:08,054 --> 00:08:09,231 I'M KIND OF INTO MAGIC, AND TONIGHT I'D LIKE TO TRY SOMETHING A LITTLE BIT 170 00:08:09,255 --> 00:08:09,899 TONIGHT I'D LIKE TO TRY SOMETHING A LITTLE BIT DIFFERENT. 171 00:08:09,923 --> 00:08:11,200 SOMETHING A LITTLE BIT DIFFERENT. I'VE BEEN WORKING OUT AT 172 00:08:11,224 --> 00:08:12,201 DIFFERENT. I'VE BEEN WORKING OUT AT DIFFERENT CLUBS. 173 00:08:12,225 --> 00:08:13,837 I'VE BEEN WORKING OUT AT DIFFERENT CLUBS. I NEED A VOLUNTEER FROM THE 174 00:08:13,861 --> 00:08:15,738 DIFFERENT CLUBS. I NEED A VOLUNTEER FROM THE AUDIENCE, JUST ANYBODY WHO WANTS 175 00:08:15,762 --> 00:08:17,774 I NEED A VOLUNTEER FROM THE AUDIENCE, JUST ANYBODY WHO WANTS TO COME UP WOULD BE FINE. 176 00:08:17,798 --> 00:08:19,375 AUDIENCE, JUST ANYBODY WHO WANTS TO COME UP WOULD BE FINE. YOU, SIR. 177 00:08:19,399 --> 00:08:21,277 TO COME UP WOULD BE FINE. YOU, SIR. YEAH. WHAT'S YOUR NAME? 178 00:08:21,301 --> 00:08:22,579 YOU, SIR. YEAH. WHAT'S YOUR NAME? JOHN ALDRESS. 179 00:08:22,603 --> 00:08:23,513 YEAH. WHAT'S YOUR NAME? JOHN ALDRESS. JOHN ALDRESS. 180 00:08:23,537 --> 00:08:25,181 JOHN ALDRESS. JOHN ALDRESS. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN ON TV BEFORE? 181 00:08:25,205 --> 00:08:26,616 JOHN ALDRESS. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN ON TV BEFORE? A BALL GAME ONCE IN A LONG 182 00:08:26,640 --> 00:08:28,618 HAVE YOU EVER BEEN ON TV BEFORE? A BALL GAME ONCE IN A LONG SHOT. 183 00:08:28,642 --> 00:08:30,587 A BALL GAME ONCE IN A LONG SHOT. SO, DO YOU LIVE OUT HERE OR 184 00:08:30,611 --> 00:08:30,920 SHOT. SO, DO YOU LIVE OUT HERE OR WHAT? 185 00:08:30,944 --> 00:08:31,921 SO, DO YOU LIVE OUT HERE OR WHAT? NO, I'M FROM LANCASTER, 186 00:08:31,945 --> 00:08:32,522 WHAT? NO, I'M FROM LANCASTER, PENNSYLVANIA. 187 00:08:32,546 --> 00:08:33,723 NO, I'M FROM LANCASTER, PENNSYLVANIA. FROM LANCASTER, PENNSYLVANIA. 188 00:08:33,747 --> 00:08:34,924 PENNSYLVANIA. FROM LANCASTER, PENNSYLVANIA. THAT'S REAL INTERESTING. 189 00:08:34,948 --> 00:08:36,392 FROM LANCASTER, PENNSYLVANIA. THAT'S REAL INTERESTING. WHAT TIME DO YOU GO TO WORK IN 190 00:08:36,416 --> 00:08:37,093 THAT'S REAL INTERESTING. WHAT TIME DO YOU GO TO WORK IN THE MORNING? 191 00:08:37,117 --> 00:08:38,160 WHAT TIME DO YOU GO TO WORK IN THE MORNING? OH, AROUND 8:30. 192 00:08:38,184 --> 00:08:39,562 THE MORNING? OH, AROUND 8:30. DO YOU LIKE TO HAVE YOUR 193 00:08:39,586 --> 00:08:40,997 OH, AROUND 8:30. DO YOU LIKE TO HAVE YOUR WATCH WHEN YOU GO TO WORK AT 194 00:08:41,021 --> 00:08:43,867 DO YOU LIKE TO HAVE YOUR WATCH WHEN YOU GO TO WORK AT 8:30? 195 00:08:43,891 --> 00:08:45,468 WATCH WHEN YOU GO TO WORK AT 8:30? HERE YOU GO. 196 00:08:45,492 --> 00:08:47,470 8:30? HERE YOU GO. THAT'S GOOD. 197 00:08:47,494 --> 00:08:48,437 HERE YOU GO. THAT'S GOOD. WHERE DO YOU WORK? 198 00:08:48,461 --> 00:08:49,338 THAT'S GOOD. WHERE DO YOU WORK? I WORK FOR THE 199 00:08:49,362 --> 00:08:50,507 WHERE DO YOU WORK? I WORK FOR THE RALSTON PURINA COMPANY. 200 00:08:50,531 --> 00:08:51,674 I WORK FOR THE RALSTON PURINA COMPANY. RALSTON PURINA, HUH? 201 00:08:51,698 --> 00:08:53,409 RALSTON PURINA COMPANY. RALSTON PURINA, HUH? AND YOU WORK EIGHT HOURS A DAY? 202 00:08:53,433 --> 00:08:54,811 RALSTON PURINA, HUH? AND YOU WORK EIGHT HOURS A DAY? WELL, I TRAVEL A LOT. 203 00:08:54,835 --> 00:08:56,412 AND YOU WORK EIGHT HOURS A DAY? WELL, I TRAVEL A LOT. WHAT TIME DO YOU GET OFF? 204 00:08:56,436 --> 00:08:57,981 WELL, I TRAVEL A LOT. WHAT TIME DO YOU GET OFF? WELL, I QUIT ABOUT 4:30. 205 00:08:58,005 --> 00:08:59,415 WHAT TIME DO YOU GET OFF? WELL, I QUIT ABOUT 4:30. WELL, MAYBE YOUR WATCH WOULD 206 00:08:59,439 --> 00:09:05,221 WELL, I QUIT ABOUT 4:30. WELL, MAYBE YOUR WATCH WOULD LIKE TO HAVE... 207 00:09:05,245 --> 00:09:06,188 WELL, MAYBE YOUR WATCH WOULD LIKE TO HAVE... DO YOU HAVE KIDS? 208 00:09:06,212 --> 00:09:07,356 LIKE TO HAVE... DO YOU HAVE KIDS? HOW'D YOU DO THAT? 209 00:09:07,380 --> 00:09:08,925 DO YOU HAVE KIDS? HOW'D YOU DO THAT? YEAH, I HAVE A COUPLE OF KIDS. 210 00:09:08,949 --> 00:09:11,260 HOW'D YOU DO THAT? YEAH, I HAVE A COUPLE OF KIDS. I HAVE... THREE CHILDREN. 211 00:09:11,284 --> 00:09:12,595 YEAH, I HAVE A COUPLE OF KIDS. I HAVE... THREE CHILDREN. DO YOU CARRY PICTURES OF THEM 212 00:09:12,619 --> 00:09:13,763 I HAVE... THREE CHILDREN. DO YOU CARRY PICTURES OF THEM IN YOUR WALLET... LADIES AND 213 00:09:13,787 --> 00:09:14,564 DO YOU CARRY PICTURES OF THEM IN YOUR WALLET... LADIES AND GENTLEMEN?! 214 00:09:14,588 --> 00:09:19,235 IN YOUR WALLET... LADIES AND GENTLEMEN?! [APPLAUSE] 215 00:09:19,259 --> 00:09:20,302 GENTLEMEN?! [APPLAUSE] DO YOU HAVE CREDIT CARDS? 216 00:09:20,326 --> 00:09:21,370 [APPLAUSE] DO YOU HAVE CREDIT CARDS? DO YOU CARRY A CHECKBOOK? 217 00:09:21,394 --> 00:09:22,471 DO YOU HAVE CREDIT CARDS? DO YOU CARRY A CHECKBOOK? WELL, I HAVE CREDIT CARDS. 218 00:09:22,495 --> 00:09:23,239 DO YOU CARRY A CHECKBOOK? WELL, I HAVE CREDIT CARDS. I HAVE A CHECKBOOK. 219 00:09:23,263 --> 00:09:24,741 WELL, I HAVE CREDIT CARDS. I HAVE A CHECKBOOK. MAYBE THEY'RE IN YOUR... 220 00:09:24,765 --> 00:09:25,107 I HAVE A CHECKBOOK. MAYBE THEY'RE IN YOUR... WALLET. 221 00:09:25,131 --> 00:09:26,175 MAYBE THEY'RE IN YOUR... WALLET. LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, WHAT DO 222 00:09:26,199 --> 00:09:27,476 WALLET. LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT THAT? 223 00:09:27,500 --> 00:09:28,578 LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT THAT? [APPLAUSE] 224 00:09:28,602 --> 00:09:30,580 YOU THINK ABOUT THAT? [APPLAUSE] HEY! 225 00:09:30,604 --> 00:09:31,213 [APPLAUSE] HEY! [CHUCKLES] 226 00:09:31,237 --> 00:09:32,515 HEY! [CHUCKLES] LISTEN, WHEN YOU'RE GETTING 227 00:09:32,539 --> 00:09:33,850 [CHUCKLES] LISTEN, WHEN YOU'RE GETTING DRESSED IN THE MORNING, WHAT DO 228 00:09:33,874 --> 00:09:34,283 LISTEN, WHEN YOU'RE GETTING DRESSED IN THE MORNING, WHAT DO YOU DO? 229 00:09:34,307 --> 00:09:35,484 DRESSED IN THE MORNING, WHAT DO YOU DO? YOU PUT ON YOUR PANTS. 230 00:09:35,508 --> 00:09:36,619 YOU DO? YOU PUT ON YOUR PANTS. I PUT ON MY PANTS. 231 00:09:36,643 --> 00:09:38,021 YOU PUT ON YOUR PANTS. I PUT ON MY PANTS. WHAT DO YOU HOLD THEM UP 232 00:09:38,045 --> 00:09:38,487 I PUT ON MY PANTS. WHAT DO YOU HOLD THEM UP WITH? 233 00:09:38,511 --> 00:09:39,355 WHAT DO YOU HOLD THEM UP WITH? I USUALLY... 234 00:09:39,379 --> 00:09:43,026 WITH? I USUALLY... A BELT, MAYBE? 235 00:09:43,050 --> 00:09:46,328 I USUALLY... A BELT, MAYBE? [LAUGHING] 236 00:09:46,352 --> 00:09:47,396 A BELT, MAYBE? [LAUGHING] WELL, WHAT HAPPENS IF YOU 237 00:09:47,420 --> 00:09:48,130 [LAUGHING] WELL, WHAT HAPPENS IF YOU DON'T HAVE A BELT? 238 00:09:48,154 --> 00:09:48,998 WELL, WHAT HAPPENS IF YOU DON'T HAVE A BELT? WHAT DO YOU WEAR THEN? 239 00:09:49,022 --> 00:09:50,366 DON'T HAVE A BELT? WHAT DO YOU WEAR THEN? WELL, I WEAR SUSPENDERS. 240 00:09:50,390 --> 00:09:54,037 WHAT DO YOU WEAR THEN? WELL, I WEAR SUSPENDERS. SUSPENDERS, MAYBE? 241 00:09:54,061 --> 00:09:55,605 WELL, I WEAR SUSPENDERS. SUSPENDERS, MAYBE? SO, YOU PUT ON YOUR SHOES, AND 242 00:09:55,629 --> 00:09:56,940 SUSPENDERS, MAYBE? SO, YOU PUT ON YOUR SHOES, AND WHAT DO YOU PUT ON NEXT? 243 00:09:56,964 --> 00:09:58,507 SO, YOU PUT ON YOUR SHOES, AND WHAT DO YOU PUT ON NEXT? WELL, I PUT ON MY SOCKS AND 244 00:09:58,531 --> 00:09:59,408 WHAT DO YOU PUT ON NEXT? WELL, I PUT ON MY SOCKS AND SOME UNDERWEAR. 245 00:09:59,432 --> 00:10:05,648 WELL, I PUT ON MY SOCKS AND SOME UNDERWEAR. UNDERWEAR? 246 00:10:05,672 --> 00:10:06,716 SOME UNDERWEAR. UNDERWEAR? PUT ON ANOTHER PAIR OF 247 00:10:06,740 --> 00:10:08,718 UNDERWEAR? PUT ON ANOTHER PAIR OF SUSPENDERS, MAYBE, TOO? 248 00:10:08,742 --> 00:10:10,587 PUT ON ANOTHER PAIR OF SUSPENDERS, MAYBE, TOO? AND WHAT ABOUT SOME OTHER 249 00:10:10,611 --> 00:10:13,556 SUSPENDERS, MAYBE, TOO? AND WHAT ABOUT SOME OTHER UNDERWEAR, MAYBE, THAT YOU WEAR? 250 00:10:13,580 --> 00:10:15,124 AND WHAT ABOUT SOME OTHER UNDERWEAR, MAYBE, THAT YOU WEAR? THERE YOU GO. 251 00:10:15,148 --> 00:10:16,292 UNDERWEAR, MAYBE, THAT YOU WEAR? THERE YOU GO. HOW LONG YOU HAD THAT MUSTACHE? 252 00:10:16,316 --> 00:10:17,093 THERE YOU GO. HOW LONG YOU HAD THAT MUSTACHE? ABOUT THREE YEARS. 253 00:10:17,117 --> 00:10:18,394 HOW LONG YOU HAD THAT MUSTACHE? ABOUT THREE YEARS. ABOUT THREE YEARS? WHAT IF... 254 00:10:18,418 --> 00:10:20,663 ABOUT THREE YEARS. ABOUT THREE YEARS? WHAT IF... AAH! 255 00:10:20,687 --> 00:10:22,098 ABOUT THREE YEARS? WHAT IF... AAH! SO, YOU GET DRESSED, AND THEN 256 00:10:22,122 --> 00:10:26,102 AAH! SO, YOU GET DRESSED, AND THEN YOU PUT THIS SHIRT ON? 257 00:10:26,126 --> 00:10:29,566 SO, YOU GET DRESSED, AND THEN YOU PUT THIS SHIRT ON? HEY, AND WHAT ABOUT THESE SHOES? 258 00:10:34,834 --> 00:10:39,470 WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK! [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 259 00:10:54,520 --> 00:10:59,636 NOT ALL WOMEN ARE LOOKING FOR MR. RIGHT. SOMETIMES THEY MIGHT JUST WANT A 260 00:10:59,660 --> 00:11:03,439 MR. RIGHT. SOMETIMES THEY MIGHT JUST WANT A LITTLE COMPANY FOR THE EVENING. 261 00:11:03,463 --> 00:11:05,374 SOMETIMES THEY MIGHT JUST WANT A LITTLE COMPANY FOR THE EVENING. THAT'S WHY OLFALO CREATED 262 00:11:05,398 --> 00:11:08,277 LITTLE COMPANY FOR THE EVENING. THAT'S WHY OLFALO CREATED "HEY, YOU!" 263 00:11:08,301 --> 00:11:10,613 THAT'S WHY OLFALO CREATED "HEY, YOU!" JUST ONE WHIFF... 264 00:11:10,637 --> 00:11:13,116 "HEY, YOU!" JUST ONE WHIFF... DOES THE TRICK. 265 00:11:13,140 --> 00:11:14,416 JUST ONE WHIFF... DOES THE TRICK. FOR THOSE OCCASIONS WHEN YOU 266 00:11:14,440 --> 00:11:19,555 DOES THE TRICK. FOR THOSE OCCASIONS WHEN YOU CAN'T AFFORD TO BE SUBTLE. 267 00:11:19,579 --> 00:11:22,925 FOR THOSE OCCASIONS WHEN YOU CAN'T AFFORD TO BE SUBTLE. HEY, YOU! 268 00:11:22,949 --> 00:11:25,483 CAN'T AFFORD TO BE SUBTLE. HEY, YOU! THE SCENT YOU CAN'T IGNORE. 269 00:11:31,724 --> 00:11:35,126 HEY... YOU. 270 00:11:57,783 --> 00:12:03,900 HEY, YOU! FOR THAT SPECIAL SOMEONE YOU NEVER EXPECT TO SEE AGAIN. 271 00:12:03,924 --> 00:12:06,685 FOR THAT SPECIAL SOMEONE YOU NEVER EXPECT TO SEE AGAIN. [HORNS HONKING] 272 00:12:10,295 --> 00:12:18,295 HEY, YOU! THE PERFUME FOR ONE-NIGHT STANDS... 273 00:12:18,338 --> 00:12:20,178 THE PERFUME FOR ONE-NIGHT STANDS... FROM OLFALO. 274 00:12:35,221 --> 00:12:40,336 [Czech accent] AH... GEORG, MY BROTHER, THERE WILL CERTAINLY BE A LOT OF SWINGING 275 00:12:40,360 --> 00:12:43,106 GEORG, MY BROTHER, THERE WILL CERTAINLY BE A LOT OF SWINGING IN OUR BACHELOR PAD TONIGHT. 276 00:12:43,130 --> 00:12:44,506 CERTAINLY BE A LOT OF SWINGING IN OUR BACHELOR PAD TONIGHT. [Czech accent] HOLD IT. 277 00:12:44,530 --> 00:12:47,844 IN OUR BACHELOR PAD TONIGHT. [Czech accent] HOLD IT. LET'S CATCH SOME RAYS. 278 00:12:47,868 --> 00:12:50,113 [Czech accent] HOLD IT. LET'S CATCH SOME RAYS. YOU AND WHAT ARMY? 279 00:12:50,137 --> 00:12:51,547 LET'S CATCH SOME RAYS. YOU AND WHAT ARMY? [BOTH LAUGH] 280 00:12:51,571 --> 00:12:54,072 YOU AND WHAT ARMY? [BOTH LAUGH] FORGET ABOUT IT. 281 00:12:58,610 --> 00:13:03,425 AH... THAT FOX BAR WAS REALLY SOMETHING TONIGHT. 282 00:13:03,449 --> 00:13:05,327 THAT FOX BAR WAS REALLY SOMETHING TONIGHT. IT WAS NO DIFFICULTY TO SEE MANY 283 00:13:05,351 --> 00:13:07,230 SOMETHING TONIGHT. IT WAS NO DIFFICULTY TO SEE MANY SWINGING AMERICANS ENJOYING EACH 284 00:13:07,254 --> 00:13:08,731 IT WAS NO DIFFICULTY TO SEE MANY SWINGING AMERICANS ENJOYING EACH OTHER A GREAT DEAL. 285 00:13:08,755 --> 00:13:10,499 SWINGING AMERICANS ENJOYING EACH OTHER A GREAT DEAL. AND HERE IS A THING I WILL 286 00:13:10,523 --> 00:13:12,668 OTHER A GREAT DEAL. AND HERE IS A THING I WILL TELL YOU... THE TWO MOST 287 00:13:12,692 --> 00:13:15,171 AND HERE IS A THING I WILL TELL YOU... THE TWO MOST SWINGING FOXES HAD THE HOTS ON 288 00:13:15,195 --> 00:13:17,073 TELL YOU... THE TWO MOST SWINGING FOXES HAD THE HOTS ON FOR US AND ARE COMING HERE 289 00:13:17,097 --> 00:13:19,075 SWINGING FOXES HAD THE HOTS ON FOR US AND ARE COMING HERE TONIGHT TO LET US HOLD ON TO 290 00:13:19,099 --> 00:13:26,415 FOR US AND ARE COMING HERE TONIGHT TO LET US HOLD ON TO THEIR BIG AMERICAN BREASTS! 291 00:13:26,439 --> 00:13:27,516 TONIGHT TO LET US HOLD ON TO THEIR BIG AMERICAN BREASTS! WHY NOT? 292 00:13:27,540 --> 00:13:30,086 THEIR BIG AMERICAN BREASTS! WHY NOT? THERE'S NOTHING PREVENTING THEM. 293 00:13:30,110 --> 00:13:32,388 WHY NOT? THERE'S NOTHING PREVENTING THEM. AFTER ALL, THERE'S NO OTHER PAIR 294 00:13:32,412 --> 00:13:34,690 THERE'S NOTHING PREVENTING THEM. AFTER ALL, THERE'S NO OTHER PAIR OF CZECH BROTHERS WHO CRUISE AND 295 00:13:34,714 --> 00:13:36,893 AFTER ALL, THERE'S NO OTHER PAIR OF CZECH BROTHERS WHO CRUISE AND SWING SO SUCCESSFULLY IN TIGHT 296 00:13:36,917 --> 00:13:39,295 OF CZECH BROTHERS WHO CRUISE AND SWING SO SUCCESSFULLY IN TIGHT SLACKS. 297 00:13:39,319 --> 00:13:40,997 SWING SO SUCCESSFULLY IN TIGHT SLACKS. WE ARE... 298 00:13:41,021 --> 00:13:43,554 SLACKS. WE ARE... TWO WILD AND CRAZY GUYS! 299 00:13:50,963 --> 00:13:56,478 OH, NO! OUR BACHELOR PAD CERTAINLY IS MESSED AROUND. 300 00:13:56,502 --> 00:13:59,115 OUR BACHELOR PAD CERTAINLY IS MESSED AROUND. SOON WILL BE THE FOXES. 301 00:13:59,139 --> 00:14:00,616 MESSED AROUND. SOON WILL BE THE FOXES. WHERE IS THE PORTABLE FLOOR 302 00:14:00,640 --> 00:14:02,285 SOON WILL BE THE FOXES. WHERE IS THE PORTABLE FLOOR VACUUM THAT WE BROUGHT WITH US 303 00:14:02,309 --> 00:14:04,486 WHERE IS THE PORTABLE FLOOR VACUUM THAT WE BROUGHT WITH US FROM CZECHOSLOVAKIA? 304 00:14:04,510 --> 00:14:05,922 VACUUM THAT WE BROUGHT WITH US FROM CZECHOSLOVAKIA? WAIT HERE NOW, AND YOU'LL 305 00:14:05,946 --> 00:14:08,227 FROM CZECHOSLOVAKIA? WAIT HERE NOW, AND YOU'LL FIND OUT. 306 00:14:14,019 --> 00:14:16,120 [VACUUM CLEANER RUNS] 307 00:14:26,598 --> 00:14:32,114 [VACUUM CLEANER STOPS] THIS FLOOR VACUUM IS SUCH A WONDERFUL HOUSEHOLD CONVENIENCE 308 00:14:32,138 --> 00:14:33,983 THIS FLOOR VACUUM IS SUCH A WONDERFUL HOUSEHOLD CONVENIENCE THAT WE'VE WANTED FOR MANY 309 00:14:34,007 --> 00:14:34,583 WONDERFUL HOUSEHOLD CONVENIENCE THAT WE'VE WANTED FOR MANY YEARS. 310 00:14:34,607 --> 00:14:35,251 THAT WE'VE WANTED FOR MANY YEARS. YES. 311 00:14:35,275 --> 00:14:37,253 YEARS. YES. USUALLY IN CZECHOSLOVAKIA, ONLY 312 00:14:37,277 --> 00:14:39,021 YES. USUALLY IN CZECHOSLOVAKIA, ONLY HIGH PARTY OFFICIALS OF THE 313 00:14:39,045 --> 00:14:40,857 USUALLY IN CZECHOSLOVAKIA, ONLY HIGH PARTY OFFICIALS OF THE COMMUNIST PARTY CAN GET THEM 314 00:14:40,881 --> 00:14:41,891 HIGH PARTY OFFICIALS OF THE COMMUNIST PARTY CAN GET THEM RIGHT AWAY. 315 00:14:41,915 --> 00:14:43,960 COMMUNIST PARTY CAN GET THEM RIGHT AWAY. I'M GLAD WE WERE ABLE TO 316 00:14:43,984 --> 00:14:46,162 RIGHT AWAY. I'M GLAD WE WERE ABLE TO SMUGGLE IT OUT OF BRATISLAVA. 317 00:14:46,186 --> 00:14:47,263 I'M GLAD WE WERE ABLE TO SMUGGLE IT OUT OF BRATISLAVA. OH, YES. 318 00:14:47,287 --> 00:14:50,333 SMUGGLE IT OUT OF BRATISLAVA. OH, YES. [DOORBELL RINGS] 319 00:14:50,357 --> 00:14:52,857 OH, YES. [DOORBELL RINGS] FOXES! 320 00:14:57,229 --> 00:14:59,663 [DOORBELL RINGS] 321 00:15:09,275 --> 00:15:13,589 CLIFF! LOOK WHO IT IS STANDING HERE... OUR SWINGING AMERICAN BUDDY 322 00:15:13,613 --> 00:15:14,090 LOOK WHO IT IS STANDING HERE... OUR SWINGING AMERICAN BUDDY CLIFF. 323 00:15:14,114 --> 00:15:20,462 OUR SWINGING AMERICAN BUDDY CLIFF. SLAP MY HAND, BLACK SOUL MAN. 324 00:15:20,486 --> 00:15:21,931 CLIFF. SLAP MY HAND, BLACK SOUL MAN. HI, GEORG. 325 00:15:21,955 --> 00:15:22,999 SLAP MY HAND, BLACK SOUL MAN. HI, GEORG. HI, YORTUK. 326 00:15:23,023 --> 00:15:25,167 HI, GEORG. HI, YORTUK. HEY, MAN, I WAS INVITED TO THIS 327 00:15:25,191 --> 00:15:27,003 HI, YORTUK. HEY, MAN, I WAS INVITED TO THIS REALLY HOT PARTY TONIGHT. 328 00:15:27,027 --> 00:15:29,138 HEY, MAN, I WAS INVITED TO THIS REALLY HOT PARTY TONIGHT. DO YOU GUYS WANT TO GO? 329 00:15:29,162 --> 00:15:30,306 REALLY HOT PARTY TONIGHT. DO YOU GUYS WANT TO GO? NO WAY. 330 00:15:30,330 --> 00:15:34,443 DO YOU GUYS WANT TO GO? NO WAY. THAT'S YOUR FUNERAL. 331 00:15:34,467 --> 00:15:36,379 NO WAY. THAT'S YOUR FUNERAL. DON'T COME CRAWLING TO US. 332 00:15:36,403 --> 00:15:38,480 THAT'S YOUR FUNERAL. DON'T COME CRAWLING TO US. TWO HIGH-FASHION MODELS FROM THE 333 00:15:38,504 --> 00:15:40,383 DON'T COME CRAWLING TO US. TWO HIGH-FASHION MODELS FROM THE FOX BAR WILL BE HERE SOON TO 334 00:15:40,407 --> 00:15:41,918 TWO HIGH-FASHION MODELS FROM THE FOX BAR WILL BE HERE SOON TO GIVE THEMSELVES TO THE 335 00:15:41,942 --> 00:15:44,553 FOX BAR WILL BE HERE SOON TO GIVE THEMSELVES TO THE FESTRUNK BROTHERS. 336 00:15:44,577 --> 00:15:47,489 GIVE THEMSELVES TO THE FESTRUNK BROTHERS. YOU GOT TWO LADIES COMING 337 00:15:47,513 --> 00:15:48,724 FESTRUNK BROTHERS. YOU GOT TWO LADIES COMING HERE TONIGHT? 338 00:15:48,748 --> 00:15:50,359 YOU GOT TWO LADIES COMING HERE TONIGHT? I DON'T BELIEVE IT. 339 00:15:50,383 --> 00:15:51,961 HERE TONIGHT? I DON'T BELIEVE IT. WE CRUISED FOR THEM IN OUR 340 00:15:51,985 --> 00:15:53,495 I DON'T BELIEVE IT. WE CRUISED FOR THEM IN OUR TIGHT SLACKS, WHICH GAVE US 341 00:15:53,519 --> 00:15:56,865 WE CRUISED FOR THEM IN OUR TIGHT SLACKS, WHICH GAVE US GREAT BULGES. 342 00:15:56,889 --> 00:15:58,367 TIGHT SLACKS, WHICH GAVE US GREAT BULGES. WAIT A MINUTE. WAIT A MINUTE. 343 00:15:58,391 --> 00:15:59,468 GREAT BULGES. WAIT A MINUTE. WAIT A MINUTE. IF THESE CHICKS WERE SO 344 00:15:59,492 --> 00:16:00,970 WAIT A MINUTE. WAIT A MINUTE. IF THESE CHICKS WERE SO INTERESTED, WHY DIDN'T THEY JUST 345 00:16:00,994 --> 00:16:02,771 IF THESE CHICKS WERE SO INTERESTED, WHY DIDN'T THEY JUST COME BACK WITH YOU, MAN? 346 00:16:02,795 --> 00:16:04,407 INTERESTED, WHY DIDN'T THEY JUST COME BACK WITH YOU, MAN? OH, WE GAVE THEM THE ADDRESS 347 00:16:04,431 --> 00:16:05,541 COME BACK WITH YOU, MAN? OH, WE GAVE THEM THE ADDRESS TO OUR BACHELOR PAD. 348 00:16:05,565 --> 00:16:06,742 OH, WE GAVE THEM THE ADDRESS TO OUR BACHELOR PAD. THEY HAD TO GO TO THE 349 00:16:06,766 --> 00:16:08,244 TO OUR BACHELOR PAD. THEY HAD TO GO TO THE STATUE OF LIBERTY TO PICK UP 350 00:16:08,268 --> 00:16:11,547 THEY HAD TO GO TO THE STATUE OF LIBERTY TO PICK UP THEIR BIRTH-CONTROL DEVICES. 351 00:16:11,571 --> 00:16:13,082 STATUE OF LIBERTY TO PICK UP THEIR BIRTH-CONTROL DEVICES. UH, WHAT? 352 00:16:13,106 --> 00:16:15,484 THEIR BIRTH-CONTROL DEVICES. UH, WHAT? THE STATUE OF LIBERTY? 353 00:16:15,508 --> 00:16:17,153 UH, WHAT? THE STATUE OF LIBERTY? THEY TOLD US THAT, IN 354 00:16:17,177 --> 00:16:18,988 THE STATUE OF LIBERTY? THEY TOLD US THAT, IN AMERICA, MANY AMERICAN PARK 355 00:16:19,012 --> 00:16:21,090 THEY TOLD US THAT, IN AMERICA, MANY AMERICAN PARK RANGERS DISTRIBUTE BIRTH-CONTROL 356 00:16:21,114 --> 00:16:22,724 AMERICA, MANY AMERICAN PARK RANGERS DISTRIBUTE BIRTH-CONTROL DEVICES. 357 00:16:22,748 --> 00:16:23,960 RANGERS DISTRIBUTE BIRTH-CONTROL DEVICES. POOR FOXES. 358 00:16:23,984 --> 00:16:26,262 DEVICES. POOR FOXES. EVERY TIME THEY'RE HAVING SEX, 359 00:16:26,286 --> 00:16:28,364 POOR FOXES. EVERY TIME THEY'RE HAVING SEX, THEY MUST GO TO THE CLOSEST 360 00:16:28,388 --> 00:16:30,899 EVERY TIME THEY'RE HAVING SEX, THEY MUST GO TO THE CLOSEST NATIONAL MONUMENT. 361 00:16:30,923 --> 00:16:32,668 THEY MUST GO TO THE CLOSEST NATIONAL MONUMENT. OKAY. 362 00:16:32,692 --> 00:16:35,938 NATIONAL MONUMENT. OKAY. UH... YORTUK, GEORG, SIT DOWN FOR 363 00:16:35,962 --> 00:16:36,905 OKAY. UH... YORTUK, GEORG, SIT DOWN FOR A MINUTE. 364 00:16:36,929 --> 00:16:39,675 UH... YORTUK, GEORG, SIT DOWN FOR A MINUTE. I'VE GOT TO TALK TO YOU. 365 00:16:39,699 --> 00:16:43,579 A MINUTE. I'VE GOT TO TALK TO YOU. NOW, THESE CHICKS ARE NOT GOING 366 00:16:43,603 --> 00:16:46,548 I'VE GOT TO TALK TO YOU. NOW, THESE CHICKS ARE NOT GOING TO SHOW UP. 367 00:16:46,572 --> 00:16:48,117 NOW, THESE CHICKS ARE NOT GOING TO SHOW UP. WHO TOLD YOU THAT? 368 00:16:48,141 --> 00:16:50,019 TO SHOW UP. WHO TOLD YOU THAT? MAN, YOU GUYS HAVE BEEN 369 00:16:50,043 --> 00:16:51,354 WHO TOLD YOU THAT? MAN, YOU GUYS HAVE BEEN HOSED, BABY. 370 00:16:51,378 --> 00:16:53,222 MAN, YOU GUYS HAVE BEEN HOSED, BABY. HOSED? COUNT ME IN. 371 00:16:53,246 --> 00:16:54,623 HOSED, BABY. HOSED? COUNT ME IN. [BOTH LAUGH] 372 00:16:54,647 --> 00:16:56,859 HOSED? COUNT ME IN. [BOTH LAUGH] NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, 373 00:16:56,883 --> 00:16:57,926 [BOTH LAUGH] NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO. 374 00:16:57,950 --> 00:17:00,997 NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO. UH... HOSED... TRICKED. 375 00:17:01,021 --> 00:17:03,432 NO, NO. UH... HOSED... TRICKED. I MEAN, THEY STOOD YOU UP, MAN. 376 00:17:03,456 --> 00:17:04,600 UH... HOSED... TRICKED. I MEAN, THEY STOOD YOU UP, MAN. THEY'RE NOT COMING HERE. 377 00:17:04,624 --> 00:17:06,035 I MEAN, THEY STOOD YOU UP, MAN. THEY'RE NOT COMING HERE. THESE LADIES FIGURED, "HEY, WE 378 00:17:06,059 --> 00:17:07,403 THEY'RE NOT COMING HERE. THESE LADIES FIGURED, "HEY, WE GOT THESE TWO CZECHOSLOVAKIAN 379 00:17:07,427 --> 00:17:08,704 THESE LADIES FIGURED, "HEY, WE GOT THESE TWO CZECHOSLOVAKIAN DUDES TRYING TO PICK US UP. 380 00:17:08,728 --> 00:17:09,638 GOT THESE TWO CZECHOSLOVAKIAN DUDES TRYING TO PICK US UP. WHAT DO THEY KNOW? 381 00:17:09,662 --> 00:17:11,173 DUDES TRYING TO PICK US UP. WHAT DO THEY KNOW? LET'S HOSE THEM." 382 00:17:11,197 --> 00:17:13,675 WHAT DO THEY KNOW? LET'S HOSE THEM." THE CHICKS WERE LYING, MAN. 383 00:17:13,699 --> 00:17:19,315 LET'S HOSE THEM." THE CHICKS WERE LYING, MAN. I BLAME MYSELF. 384 00:17:19,339 --> 00:17:25,154 THE CHICKS WERE LYING, MAN. I BLAME MYSELF. THIS REALLY BUMS ME UP. 385 00:17:25,178 --> 00:17:28,857 I BLAME MYSELF. THIS REALLY BUMS ME UP. WE SURE HAVE A DRAG. 386 00:17:28,881 --> 00:17:30,659 THIS REALLY BUMS ME UP. WE SURE HAVE A DRAG. HEY, UH, LOOK... 387 00:17:30,683 --> 00:17:32,694 WE SURE HAVE A DRAG. HEY, UH, LOOK... YOU'RE GOOD GUYS, MAN. 388 00:17:32,718 --> 00:17:34,796 HEY, UH, LOOK... YOU'RE GOOD GUYS, MAN. BUT SOMETIMES, MAN, SOMETIMES 389 00:17:34,820 --> 00:17:36,499 YOU'RE GOOD GUYS, MAN. BUT SOMETIMES, MAN, SOMETIMES YOU COME ON TOO STRONG. 390 00:17:36,523 --> 00:17:38,300 BUT SOMETIMES, MAN, SOMETIMES YOU COME ON TOO STRONG. LIKE WHEN WE'RE OUT PARTYING, IF 391 00:17:38,324 --> 00:17:39,968 YOU COME ON TOO STRONG. LIKE WHEN WE'RE OUT PARTYING, IF YOU WANT TO SCORE WITH GIRLS, 392 00:17:39,992 --> 00:17:41,637 LIKE WHEN WE'RE OUT PARTYING, IF YOU WANT TO SCORE WITH GIRLS, YOU CAN'T KEEP RUNNING AROUND 393 00:17:41,661 --> 00:17:44,573 YOU WANT TO SCORE WITH GIRLS, YOU CAN'T KEEP RUNNING AROUND YELLING, "LET'S SWING! 394 00:17:44,597 --> 00:17:46,208 YOU CAN'T KEEP RUNNING AROUND YELLING, "LET'S SWING! YOU WANT TO SWING?!" 395 00:17:46,232 --> 00:17:48,344 YELLING, "LET'S SWING! YOU WANT TO SWING?!" MAN, YOU GOT TO BE COOL, MAN. 396 00:17:48,368 --> 00:17:50,112 YOU WANT TO SWING?!" MAN, YOU GOT TO BE COOL, MAN. LOOK, IN AMERICA... THIS IS 397 00:17:50,136 --> 00:17:52,181 MAN, YOU GOT TO BE COOL, MAN. LOOK, IN AMERICA... THIS IS AMERICA. 398 00:17:52,205 --> 00:17:54,016 LOOK, IN AMERICA... THIS IS AMERICA. CLIFF... 399 00:17:54,040 --> 00:17:57,520 AMERICA. CLIFF... YOU'RE STANDING ON THE BASE NOW. 400 00:17:57,544 --> 00:17:59,255 CLIFF... YOU'RE STANDING ON THE BASE NOW. TONIGHT WE DID NOT SWING 401 00:17:59,279 --> 00:18:00,289 YOU'RE STANDING ON THE BASE NOW. TONIGHT WE DID NOT SWING SUCCESSFULLY. 402 00:18:00,313 --> 00:18:02,124 TONIGHT WE DID NOT SWING SUCCESSFULLY. I MUST TALK WITH MY BROTHER 403 00:18:02,148 --> 00:18:03,992 SUCCESSFULLY. I MUST TALK WITH MY BROTHER GEORG. 404 00:18:04,016 --> 00:18:07,285 I MUST TALK WITH MY BROTHER GEORG. [SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE] 405 00:18:27,139 --> 00:18:34,523 CLIFF... WE HAVE DECIDED... THE FESTRUNK BROTHERS DO NOT 406 00:18:34,547 --> 00:18:37,593 WE HAVE DECIDED... THE FESTRUNK BROTHERS DO NOT CRUISE CORRECTLY FOR FOXES. 407 00:18:37,617 --> 00:18:41,964 THE FESTRUNK BROTHERS DO NOT CRUISE CORRECTLY FOR FOXES. WE WILL NEVER SWING AGAIN. 408 00:18:41,988 --> 00:18:43,365 CRUISE CORRECTLY FOR FOXES. WE WILL NEVER SWING AGAIN. AW, COME ON, YOU GUYS. 409 00:18:43,389 --> 00:18:44,866 WE WILL NEVER SWING AGAIN. AW, COME ON, YOU GUYS. NOW, LOOK, DON'T TAKE IT SO 410 00:18:44,890 --> 00:18:45,267 AW, COME ON, YOU GUYS. NOW, LOOK, DON'T TAKE IT SO HARD. 411 00:18:45,291 --> 00:18:46,635 NOW, LOOK, DON'T TAKE IT SO HARD. LET'S GO TO THAT PARTY, MAN. 412 00:18:46,659 --> 00:18:47,869 HARD. LET'S GO TO THAT PARTY, MAN. [DOORBELL RINGS] 413 00:18:47,893 --> 00:18:49,505 LET'S GO TO THAT PARTY, MAN. [DOORBELL RINGS] COME ON. 414 00:18:49,529 --> 00:18:51,440 [DOORBELL RINGS] COME ON. WHO CAN THIS BE? 415 00:18:51,464 --> 00:18:53,864 COME ON. WHO CAN THIS BE? SOMEONE FOR CLIFF. 416 00:19:01,373 --> 00:19:06,388 [GASPS] NOW... Both: ARE THE FOXES! 417 00:19:06,412 --> 00:19:08,757 NOW... Both: ARE THE FOXES! OUT TO LUNCH! 418 00:19:08,781 --> 00:19:09,525 Both: ARE THE FOXES! OUT TO LUNCH! [CHUCKLES] 419 00:19:09,549 --> 00:19:11,594 OUT TO LUNCH! [CHUCKLES] HEY, FOXES, CLEAN UP YOUR 420 00:19:11,618 --> 00:19:13,562 [CHUCKLES] HEY, FOXES, CLEAN UP YOUR ACT. 421 00:19:13,586 --> 00:19:14,730 HEY, FOXES, CLEAN UP YOUR ACT. HI, YORTUK. 422 00:19:14,754 --> 00:19:15,664 ACT. HI, YORTUK. HI, GEORG. 423 00:19:15,688 --> 00:19:17,032 HI, YORTUK. HI, GEORG. SORRY WE'RE LATE. 424 00:19:17,056 --> 00:19:18,700 HI, GEORG. SORRY WE'RE LATE. NO HASSLES, MAN. 425 00:19:18,724 --> 00:19:20,969 SORRY WE'RE LATE. NO HASSLES, MAN. HEY, LISTEN TO GEORG'S JOKE. 426 00:19:20,993 --> 00:19:22,771 NO HASSLES, MAN. HEY, LISTEN TO GEORG'S JOKE. WELL, OKAY. 427 00:19:22,795 --> 00:19:26,074 HEY, LISTEN TO GEORG'S JOKE. WELL, OKAY. HOW MANY ASTRO-SIGN MEDALLIONS 428 00:19:26,098 --> 00:19:27,976 WELL, OKAY. HOW MANY ASTRO-SIGN MEDALLIONS CAN YOU WEAR? 429 00:19:28,000 --> 00:19:29,578 HOW MANY ASTRO-SIGN MEDALLIONS CAN YOU WEAR? I DON'T KNOW. 430 00:19:29,602 --> 00:19:32,348 CAN YOU WEAR? I DON'T KNOW. NEXT TIME, TRY FIVE OF THEM! 431 00:19:32,372 --> 00:19:35,984 I DON'T KNOW. NEXT TIME, TRY FIVE OF THEM! [BOTH LAUGH] 432 00:19:36,008 --> 00:19:37,919 NEXT TIME, TRY FIVE OF THEM! [BOTH LAUGH] LET'S GO, CHICKS. 433 00:19:37,943 --> 00:19:40,511 [BOTH LAUGH] LET'S GO, CHICKS. LET'S SWING! 434 00:19:46,518 --> 00:19:51,700 IT'S OKAY, CLIFF. MANY AMERICAN GIRLS ENJOY YOU, TOO. 435 00:19:51,724 --> 00:19:53,602 MANY AMERICAN GIRLS ENJOY YOU, TOO. THEY ENJOY YOUR PROTRUDING 436 00:19:53,626 --> 00:19:56,539 TOO. THEY ENJOY YOUR PROTRUDING BUTTOCKS ALL THE TIME. 437 00:19:56,563 --> 00:20:00,142 THEY ENJOY YOUR PROTRUDING BUTTOCKS ALL THE TIME. SO GET OFF MY BACK, YOU BIG 438 00:20:00,166 --> 00:20:02,178 BUTTOCKS ALL THE TIME. SO GET OFF MY BACK, YOU BIG SEX MACHINE! 439 00:20:02,202 --> 00:20:04,146 SO GET OFF MY BACK, YOU BIG SEX MACHINE! [CHUCKLES] 440 00:20:04,170 --> 00:20:06,415 SEX MACHINE! [CHUCKLES] LET'S GET IT OUT! 441 00:20:06,439 --> 00:20:09,818 [CHUCKLES] LET'S GET IT OUT! SO, NOW YOU KNOW, WE ARE TWO 442 00:20:09,842 --> 00:20:14,590 LET'S GET IT OUT! SO, NOW YOU KNOW, WE ARE TWO WILD AND CRAZY GUYS! 443 00:20:14,614 --> 00:20:17,348 SO, NOW YOU KNOW, WE ARE TWO WILD AND CRAZY GUYS! LET'S SWING! 444 00:20:59,824 --> 00:21:03,026 [FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING] 445 00:21:03,295 --> 00:21:08,510 HELLO, THEODORIC OF YORK. WELL, IT'S SPRINGTIME, AND I'M HERE FOR MY ANNUAL HAIRCUT AND 446 00:21:08,534 --> 00:21:09,411 WELL, IT'S SPRINGTIME, AND I'M HERE FOR MY ANNUAL HAIRCUT AND BLOODLETTING. 447 00:21:09,435 --> 00:21:11,247 HERE FOR MY ANNUAL HAIRCUT AND BLOODLETTING. WELL, WELCOME, SON OF MILLER, 448 00:21:11,271 --> 00:21:12,214 BLOODLETTING. WELL, WELCOME, SON OF MILLER, WILLIAM. 449 00:21:12,238 --> 00:21:14,516 WELL, WELCOME, SON OF MILLER, WILLIAM. WELL, IT'S TIME TO SEE YOU NOW. 450 00:21:14,540 --> 00:21:15,584 WILLIAM. WELL, IT'S TIME TO SEE YOU NOW. HAVE A SEAT. 451 00:21:15,608 --> 00:21:17,986 WELL, IT'S TIME TO SEE YOU NOW. HAVE A SEAT. BROOM GILDA... 452 00:21:18,010 --> 00:21:19,655 HAVE A SEAT. BROOM GILDA... YOU START ON HIS HAIR, AND I'LL 453 00:21:19,679 --> 00:21:21,022 BROOM GILDA... YOU START ON HIS HAIR, AND I'LL OPEN UP ONE OF HIS VEINS. 454 00:21:21,046 --> 00:21:22,824 YOU START ON HIS HAIR, AND I'LL OPEN UP ONE OF HIS VEINS. YES, THEODORIC. 455 00:21:22,848 --> 00:21:24,460 OPEN UP ONE OF HIS VEINS. YES, THEODORIC. WELL, HOW'S THAT LITTLE BABY 456 00:21:24,484 --> 00:21:26,094 YES, THEODORIC. WELL, HOW'S THAT LITTLE BABY I DELIVERED LAST CHRISTMAS WHEN 457 00:21:26,118 --> 00:21:27,062 WELL, HOW'S THAT LITTLE BABY I DELIVERED LAST CHRISTMAS WHEN YOUR WIFE DIED? 458 00:21:27,086 --> 00:21:28,597 I DELIVERED LAST CHRISTMAS WHEN YOUR WIFE DIED? AH, THE LITTLE FELLOW IS 459 00:21:28,621 --> 00:21:29,565 YOUR WIFE DIED? AH, THE LITTLE FELLOW IS DEFORMED. 460 00:21:29,589 --> 00:21:32,067 AH, THE LITTLE FELLOW IS DEFORMED. THAT'S RIGHT. I REMEMBER NOW. 461 00:21:32,091 --> 00:21:33,369 DEFORMED. THAT'S RIGHT. I REMEMBER NOW. THIS MAY HURT. 462 00:21:33,393 --> 00:21:35,537 THAT'S RIGHT. I REMEMBER NOW. THIS MAY HURT. AAH! 463 00:21:35,561 --> 00:21:37,439 THIS MAY HURT. AAH! AND NOW IT'S TIME FOR ANOTHER 464 00:21:37,463 --> 00:21:41,977 AAH! AND NOW IT'S TIME FOR ANOTHER EPISODE OF... 465 00:21:42,001 --> 00:21:43,646 AND NOW IT'S TIME FOR ANOTHER EPISODE OF... THERE YOU GO. 466 00:21:43,670 --> 00:21:45,347 EPISODE OF... THERE YOU GO. WELL, LOOKS LIKE I HAVE ANOTHER 467 00:21:45,371 --> 00:21:45,847 THERE YOU GO. WELL, LOOKS LIKE I HAVE ANOTHER PATIENT. 468 00:21:45,871 --> 00:21:47,283 WELL, LOOKS LIKE I HAVE ANOTHER PATIENT. I'LL BE BACK IN A MINUTE TO SEE 469 00:21:47,307 --> 00:21:48,116 PATIENT. I'LL BE BACK IN A MINUTE TO SEE HOW YOU'RE DOING. 470 00:21:48,140 --> 00:21:49,117 I'LL BE BACK IN A MINUTE TO SEE HOW YOU'RE DOING. RIGHT. THANK YOU. 471 00:21:49,141 --> 00:21:50,286 HOW YOU'RE DOING. RIGHT. THANK YOU. JUST A TRIM, BROOM GILDA. 472 00:21:50,310 --> 00:21:51,887 RIGHT. THANK YOU. JUST A TRIM, BROOM GILDA. [LAUGHS] 473 00:21:51,911 --> 00:21:53,155 JUST A TRIM, BROOM GILDA. [LAUGHS] HELLO, THEODORIC, 474 00:21:53,179 --> 00:21:54,156 [LAUGHS] HELLO, THEODORIC, BARBER OF YORK. 475 00:21:54,180 --> 00:21:55,924 HELLO, THEODORIC, BARBER OF YORK. HELLO, JOAN, WIFE OF SIMKIN 476 00:21:55,948 --> 00:21:56,558 BARBER OF YORK. HELLO, JOAN, WIFE OF SIMKIN THE MILLER. 477 00:21:56,582 --> 00:21:57,859 HELLO, JOAN, WIFE OF SIMKIN THE MILLER. WELL, HOW'S MY LITTLE PATIENT 478 00:21:57,883 --> 00:21:58,327 THE MILLER. WELL, HOW'S MY LITTLE PATIENT DOING? 479 00:21:58,351 --> 00:21:59,561 WELL, HOW'S MY LITTLE PATIENT DOING? NOT SO WELL, I FEAR. 480 00:21:59,585 --> 00:22:00,796 DOING? NOT SO WELL, I FEAR. WE'VE FOLLOWED ALL YOUR 481 00:22:00,820 --> 00:22:01,997 NOT SO WELL, I FEAR. WE'VE FOLLOWED ALL YOUR INSTRUCTIONS. 482 00:22:02,021 --> 00:22:04,400 WE'VE FOLLOWED ALL YOUR INSTRUCTIONS. I MIXED POWDER OF STAGHORN, GUM 483 00:22:04,424 --> 00:22:05,867 INSTRUCTIONS. I MIXED POWDER OF STAGHORN, GUM OF ARABIC WITH BOILED SHEEP'S 484 00:22:05,891 --> 00:22:07,135 I MIXED POWDER OF STAGHORN, GUM OF ARABIC WITH BOILED SHEEP'S URINE AND APPLIED IT IN A 485 00:22:07,159 --> 00:22:08,870 OF ARABIC WITH BOILED SHEEP'S URINE AND APPLIED IT IN A POULTICE TO HER FACE. 486 00:22:08,894 --> 00:22:10,439 URINE AND APPLIED IT IN A POULTICE TO HER FACE. AND DID YOU BURY HER UP TO 487 00:22:10,463 --> 00:22:12,140 POULTICE TO HER FACE. AND DID YOU BURY HER UP TO HER NECK IN THE MARSH AND LEAVE 488 00:22:12,164 --> 00:22:13,008 AND DID YOU BURY HER UP TO HER NECK IN THE MARSH AND LEAVE HER OVERNIGHT? 489 00:22:13,032 --> 00:22:14,677 HER NECK IN THE MARSH AND LEAVE HER OVERNIGHT? OH, YES, BUT SHE STILL FEELS 490 00:22:14,701 --> 00:22:16,178 HER OVERNIGHT? OH, YES, BUT SHE STILL FEELS AS LISTLESS AS EVER, IF NOT 491 00:22:16,202 --> 00:22:16,645 OH, YES, BUT SHE STILL FEELS AS LISTLESS AS EVER, IF NOT MORE. 492 00:22:16,669 --> 00:22:18,314 AS LISTLESS AS EVER, IF NOT MORE. WELL, LET'S GIVE HER ANOTHER 493 00:22:18,338 --> 00:22:19,281 MORE. WELL, LET'S GIVE HER ANOTHER BLOODLETTING. 494 00:22:19,305 --> 00:22:20,215 WELL, LET'S GIVE HER ANOTHER BLOODLETTING. BROOM GILDA? 495 00:22:20,239 --> 00:22:21,483 BLOODLETTING. BROOM GILDA? YES, THEODORIC? 496 00:22:21,507 --> 00:22:23,819 BROOM GILDA? YES, THEODORIC? TAKE TWO PINTS. 497 00:22:23,843 --> 00:22:26,355 YES, THEODORIC? TAKE TWO PINTS. YES, THEODORIC. 498 00:22:26,379 --> 00:22:27,723 TAKE TWO PINTS. YES, THEODORIC. WILL SHE BE ALL RIGHT, 499 00:22:27,747 --> 00:22:28,290 YES, THEODORIC. WILL SHE BE ALL RIGHT, BARBER? 500 00:22:28,314 --> 00:22:30,158 WILL SHE BE ALL RIGHT, BARBER? WELL, I'LL DO EVERYTHING 501 00:22:30,182 --> 00:22:31,527 BARBER? WELL, I'LL DO EVERYTHING HUMANLY POSSIBLE. 502 00:22:31,551 --> 00:22:33,228 WELL, I'LL DO EVERYTHING HUMANLY POSSIBLE. BUT, UNFORTUNATELY, WE BARBERS 503 00:22:33,252 --> 00:22:34,095 HUMANLY POSSIBLE. BUT, UNFORTUNATELY, WE BARBERS ARE NOT GODS. 504 00:22:34,119 --> 00:22:35,698 BUT, UNFORTUNATELY, WE BARBERS ARE NOT GODS. YOU KNOW, MEDICINE IS NOT AN 505 00:22:35,722 --> 00:22:37,098 ARE NOT GODS. YOU KNOW, MEDICINE IS NOT AN EXACT SCIENCE, BUT WE'RE 506 00:22:37,122 --> 00:22:38,400 YOU KNOW, MEDICINE IS NOT AN EXACT SCIENCE, BUT WE'RE LEARNING ALL THE TIME. 507 00:22:38,424 --> 00:22:40,035 EXACT SCIENCE, BUT WE'RE LEARNING ALL THE TIME. WHY, JUST 50 YEARS AGO, WE WOULD 508 00:22:40,059 --> 00:22:41,470 LEARNING ALL THE TIME. WHY, JUST 50 YEARS AGO, WE WOULD HAVE THOUGHT YOUR DAUGHTER'S 509 00:22:41,494 --> 00:22:43,472 WHY, JUST 50 YEARS AGO, WE WOULD HAVE THOUGHT YOUR DAUGHTER'S ILLNESS WAS BROUGHT ON BY 510 00:22:43,496 --> 00:22:44,640 HAVE THOUGHT YOUR DAUGHTER'S ILLNESS WAS BROUGHT ON BY DEMONIC POSSESSION OR 511 00:22:44,664 --> 00:22:45,808 ILLNESS WAS BROUGHT ON BY DEMONIC POSSESSION OR WITCHCRAFT. 512 00:22:45,832 --> 00:22:48,076 DEMONIC POSSESSION OR WITCHCRAFT. BUT NOWADAYS, WE KNOW THAT 513 00:22:48,100 --> 00:22:49,745 WITCHCRAFT. BUT NOWADAYS, WE KNOW THAT ISABELLE IS SUFFERING FROM AN 514 00:22:49,769 --> 00:22:51,313 BUT NOWADAYS, WE KNOW THAT ISABELLE IS SUFFERING FROM AN IMBALANCE OF BODILY HUMORS, 515 00:22:51,337 --> 00:22:53,014 ISABELLE IS SUFFERING FROM AN IMBALANCE OF BODILY HUMORS, PERHAPS CAUSED BY A TOAD OR A 516 00:22:53,038 --> 00:22:54,483 IMBALANCE OF BODILY HUMORS, PERHAPS CAUSED BY A TOAD OR A SMALL DWARF LIVING IN HER 517 00:22:54,507 --> 00:22:57,553 PERHAPS CAUSED BY A TOAD OR A SMALL DWARF LIVING IN HER STOMACH. 518 00:22:57,577 --> 00:22:59,355 SMALL DWARF LIVING IN HER STOMACH. WELL, I'M GLAD TO SEE SHE'S 519 00:22:59,379 --> 00:23:00,922 STOMACH. WELL, I'M GLAD TO SEE SHE'S IN SUCH GOOD HANDS. 520 00:23:00,946 --> 00:23:02,524 WELL, I'M GLAD TO SEE SHE'S IN SUCH GOOD HANDS. WELL, THANK YOU. 521 00:23:02,548 --> 00:23:03,559 IN SUCH GOOD HANDS. WELL, THANK YOU. AH! 522 00:23:03,583 --> 00:23:05,861 WELL, THANK YOU. AH! [Moaning] OH, GOD. 523 00:23:05,885 --> 00:23:06,962 AH! [Moaning] OH, GOD. [Slurring] THEODORIC, 524 00:23:06,986 --> 00:23:08,597 [Moaning] OH, GOD. [Slurring] THEODORIC, BARBER OF YORK? 525 00:23:08,621 --> 00:23:10,499 [Slurring] THEODORIC, BARBER OF YORK? SAY, DON'T I KNOW YOU? 526 00:23:10,523 --> 00:23:15,471 BARBER OF YORK? SAY, DON'T I KNOW YOU? YEAH, YOU WORKED ON MY BACK. 527 00:23:15,495 --> 00:23:17,038 SAY, DON'T I KNOW YOU? YEAH, YOU WORKED ON MY BACK. AH, WHAT SEEMS TO BE THE 528 00:23:17,062 --> 00:23:18,674 YEAH, YOU WORKED ON MY BACK. AH, WHAT SEEMS TO BE THE MATTER WITH YOUR FRIEND HERE? 529 00:23:18,698 --> 00:23:19,808 AH, WHAT SEEMS TO BE THE MATTER WITH YOUR FRIEND HERE? I BROKE HIS LEGS. 530 00:23:19,832 --> 00:23:21,243 MATTER WITH YOUR FRIEND HERE? I BROKE HIS LEGS. [Panting] I WAS AT THE 531 00:23:21,267 --> 00:23:22,878 I BROKE HIS LEGS. [Panting] I WAS AT THE FESTIVAL OF THE VERNAL EQUINOX, 532 00:23:22,902 --> 00:23:24,446 [Panting] I WAS AT THE FESTIVAL OF THE VERNAL EQUINOX, AND I GUESS I HAD A LITTLE BIT 533 00:23:24,470 --> 00:23:26,081 FESTIVAL OF THE VERNAL EQUINOX, AND I GUESS I HAD A LITTLE BIT TOO MUCH MEAD, AND I DARTED OUT 534 00:23:26,105 --> 00:23:27,282 AND I GUESS I HAD A LITTLE BIT TOO MUCH MEAD, AND I DARTED OUT IN FRONT OF AN OXCART. 535 00:23:27,306 --> 00:23:28,950 TOO MUCH MEAD, AND I DARTED OUT IN FRONT OF AN OXCART. AND IT ALL HAPPENED SO FAST, THE 536 00:23:28,974 --> 00:23:30,619 IN FRONT OF AN OXCART. AND IT ALL HAPPENED SO FAST, THE POOR LITTLE FELLAS COULDN'T STOP 537 00:23:30,643 --> 00:23:31,219 AND IT ALL HAPPENED SO FAST, THE POOR LITTLE FELLAS COULDN'T STOP IN TIME. 538 00:23:31,243 --> 00:23:33,021 POOR LITTLE FELLAS COULDN'T STOP IN TIME. WELL, YOU'LL FEEL A LOT 539 00:23:33,045 --> 00:23:34,857 IN TIME. WELL, YOU'LL FEEL A LOT BETTER AFTER A GOOD BLEEDING. 540 00:23:34,881 --> 00:23:37,793 WELL, YOU'LL FEEL A LOT BETTER AFTER A GOOD BLEEDING. BUT I'M BLEEDING ALREADY. 541 00:23:37,817 --> 00:23:42,564 BETTER AFTER A GOOD BLEEDING. BUT I'M BLEEDING ALREADY. SAY, WHO'S THE BARBER HERE? 542 00:23:42,588 --> 00:23:43,465 BUT I'M BLEEDING ALREADY. SAY, WHO'S THE BARBER HERE? OKAY, OKAY. 543 00:23:43,489 --> 00:23:45,100 SAY, WHO'S THE BARBER HERE? OKAY, OKAY. JUST DO SOMETHING FOR MY LEGS, 544 00:23:45,124 --> 00:23:46,001 OKAY, OKAY. JUST DO SOMETHING FOR MY LEGS, COULD YOU PLEASE? 545 00:23:46,025 --> 00:23:47,002 JUST DO SOMETHING FOR MY LEGS, COULD YOU PLEASE? OKAY, WELL, LOOK. 546 00:23:47,026 --> 00:23:48,970 COULD YOU PLEASE? OKAY, WELL, LOOK. AAH! AAH! 547 00:23:48,994 --> 00:23:50,071 OKAY, WELL, LOOK. AAH! AAH! WE'LL GET HIM UP ON THE 548 00:23:50,095 --> 00:23:51,339 AAH! AAH! WE'LL GET HIM UP ON THE GIBBET OVER HERE. 549 00:23:51,363 --> 00:23:53,709 WE'LL GET HIM UP ON THE GIBBET OVER HERE. [GROANING] 550 00:23:53,733 --> 00:23:55,143 GIBBET OVER HERE. [GROANING] THIS MIGHT HURT A LITTLE BIT, 551 00:23:55,167 --> 00:23:55,844 [GROANING] THIS MIGHT HURT A LITTLE BIT, NATURALLY. 552 00:23:55,868 --> 00:23:57,145 THIS MIGHT HURT A LITTLE BIT, NATURALLY. YEAH, I THINK IT IS. 553 00:23:57,169 --> 00:23:58,346 NATURALLY. YEAH, I THINK IT IS. I THINK IT'S HURTING. 554 00:23:58,370 --> 00:23:59,548 YEAH, I THINK IT IS. I THINK IT'S HURTING. A LITTLE PAIN NEVER HURT 555 00:23:59,572 --> 00:24:01,450 I THINK IT'S HURTING. A LITTLE PAIN NEVER HURT ANYONE. 556 00:24:01,474 --> 00:24:03,819 A LITTLE PAIN NEVER HURT ANYONE. AAH! AAAH! OHH! 557 00:24:03,843 --> 00:24:06,321 ANYONE. AAH! AAAH! OHH! OKAY, HOIST HIM UP THERE. 558 00:24:06,345 --> 00:24:08,424 AAH! AAAH! OHH! OKAY, HOIST HIM UP THERE. OKAY, WHAT WE'RE DOING IS 559 00:24:08,448 --> 00:24:10,559 OKAY, HOIST HIM UP THERE. OKAY, WHAT WE'RE DOING IS SEPARATING THE BONES A LITTLE 560 00:24:10,583 --> 00:24:12,027 OKAY, WHAT WE'RE DOING IS SEPARATING THE BONES A LITTLE BIT, AND IF YOU DON'T FEEL 561 00:24:12,051 --> 00:24:13,762 SEPARATING THE BONES A LITTLE BIT, AND IF YOU DON'T FEEL BETTER TOMORROW, WE'LL JUST CUT 562 00:24:13,786 --> 00:24:15,297 BIT, AND IF YOU DON'T FEEL BETTER TOMORROW, WE'LL JUST CUT THEM OFF HERE. 563 00:24:15,321 --> 00:24:16,698 BETTER TOMORROW, WE'LL JUST CUT THEM OFF HERE. I'M PRETTY SURE I'LL BE 564 00:24:16,722 --> 00:24:17,999 THEM OFF HERE. I'M PRETTY SURE I'LL BE FEELING BETTER TOMORROW. 565 00:24:18,023 --> 00:24:19,401 I'M PRETTY SURE I'LL BE FEELING BETTER TOMORROW. OKAY. 566 00:24:19,425 --> 00:24:20,836 FEELING BETTER TOMORROW. OKAY. THIS WILL TEACH YOU TO GO EASY 567 00:24:20,860 --> 00:24:22,538 OKAY. THIS WILL TEACH YOU TO GO EASY ON THE MEAD. 568 00:24:22,562 --> 00:24:24,339 THIS WILL TEACH YOU TO GO EASY ON THE MEAD. BROOM GILDA, PUT A FEW LEECHES 569 00:24:24,363 --> 00:24:27,810 ON THE MEAD. BROOM GILDA, PUT A FEW LEECHES ON HIS FOREHEAD. 570 00:24:27,834 --> 00:24:28,877 BROOM GILDA, PUT A FEW LEECHES ON HIS FOREHEAD. [GROANING] 571 00:24:28,901 --> 00:24:30,345 ON HIS FOREHEAD. [GROANING] THANK YOU, BROOM GILDA. 572 00:24:30,369 --> 00:24:31,379 [GROANING] THANK YOU, BROOM GILDA. YOU'RE SO KIND. 573 00:24:31,403 --> 00:24:32,714 THANK YOU, BROOM GILDA. YOU'RE SO KIND. HOW ARE WE DOING? 574 00:24:32,738 --> 00:24:34,282 YOU'RE SO KIND. HOW ARE WE DOING? WELL, I FEEL FAINT, BUT... 575 00:24:34,306 --> 00:24:35,984 HOW ARE WE DOING? WELL, I FEEL FAINT, BUT... WELL, WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME 576 00:24:36,008 --> 00:24:37,419 WELL, I FEEL FAINT, BUT... WELL, WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CAME IN FOR A WORMING? 577 00:24:37,443 --> 00:24:38,987 WELL, WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CAME IN FOR A WORMING? I GUESS I'M DUE, BUT I DON'T 578 00:24:39,011 --> 00:24:41,222 YOU CAME IN FOR A WORMING? I GUESS I'M DUE, BUT I DON'T HAVE TIME TODAY. 579 00:24:41,246 --> 00:24:45,093 I GUESS I'M DUE, BUT I DON'T HAVE TIME TODAY. PLEASE... ACCEPT MY PAYMENT... 580 00:24:45,117 --> 00:24:46,728 HAVE TIME TODAY. PLEASE... ACCEPT MY PAYMENT... THIS FINE FAT GOOSE. 581 00:24:46,752 --> 00:24:48,564 PLEASE... ACCEPT MY PAYMENT... THIS FINE FAT GOOSE. OH, WELL, THANK YOU. 582 00:24:48,588 --> 00:24:50,098 THIS FINE FAT GOOSE. OH, WELL, THANK YOU. BROOM GILDA WILL GIVE YOU YOUR 583 00:24:50,122 --> 00:24:51,066 OH, WELL, THANK YOU. BROOM GILDA WILL GIVE YOU YOUR CHANGE. 584 00:24:51,090 --> 00:24:53,335 BROOM GILDA WILL GIVE YOU YOUR CHANGE. THANK YOU, THEODORIC. 585 00:24:53,359 --> 00:24:54,870 CHANGE. THANK YOU, THEODORIC. WELL, HOW'S THE LITTLE 586 00:24:54,894 --> 00:24:55,838 THANK YOU, THEODORIC. WELL, HOW'S THE LITTLE PATIENT DOING? 587 00:24:55,862 --> 00:24:56,872 WELL, HOW'S THE LITTLE PATIENT DOING? SHE'S WORSE. 588 00:24:56,896 --> 00:24:58,373 PATIENT DOING? SHE'S WORSE. SHE'S LOOKING PALE. 589 00:24:58,397 --> 00:24:58,907 SHE'S WORSE. SHE'S LOOKING PALE. HMM. 590 00:24:58,931 --> 00:25:00,576 SHE'S LOOKING PALE. HMM. WELL, IF SHE'S NOT RESPONDING TO 591 00:25:00,600 --> 00:25:02,077 HMM. WELL, IF SHE'S NOT RESPONDING TO TREATMENT, WE'LL HAVE TO RUN 592 00:25:02,101 --> 00:25:03,311 WELL, IF SHE'S NOT RESPONDING TO TREATMENT, WE'LL HAVE TO RUN SOME MORE TESTS. 593 00:25:03,335 --> 00:25:05,447 TREATMENT, WE'LL HAVE TO RUN SOME MORE TESTS. BROOM GILDA, BRING THE CALADRIUS 594 00:25:05,471 --> 00:25:05,981 SOME MORE TESTS. BROOM GILDA, BRING THE CALADRIUS BIRD. 595 00:25:06,005 --> 00:25:07,215 BROOM GILDA, BRING THE CALADRIUS BIRD. CALADRIUS BIRD? 596 00:25:07,239 --> 00:25:09,117 BIRD. CALADRIUS BIRD? YES, THE CALADRIUS BIRD IS A 597 00:25:09,141 --> 00:25:09,651 CALADRIUS BIRD? YES, THE CALADRIUS BIRD IS A TEST. 598 00:25:09,675 --> 00:25:11,386 YES, THE CALADRIUS BIRD IS A TEST. WE PUT IT NEXT TO THE PATIENT, 599 00:25:11,410 --> 00:25:13,254 TEST. WE PUT IT NEXT TO THE PATIENT, AND IF IT LOOKS AT THE PATIENT'S 600 00:25:13,278 --> 00:25:14,690 WE PUT IT NEXT TO THE PATIENT, AND IF IT LOOKS AT THE PATIENT'S FACE, THEN SHE WILL DIE. 601 00:25:14,714 --> 00:25:16,057 AND IF IT LOOKS AT THE PATIENT'S FACE, THEN SHE WILL DIE. IF IT SHOULD LOOK AT HER FEET, 602 00:25:16,081 --> 00:25:18,927 FACE, THEN SHE WILL DIE. IF IT SHOULD LOOK AT HER FEET, THEN THE PATIENT WILL LIVE. 603 00:25:18,951 --> 00:25:20,863 IF IT SHOULD LOOK AT HER FEET, THEN THE PATIENT WILL LIVE. SO, A LITTLE TEST. 604 00:25:20,887 --> 00:25:26,201 THEN THE PATIENT WILL LIVE. SO, A LITTLE TEST. HEY! 605 00:25:26,225 --> 00:25:29,070 SO, A LITTLE TEST. HEY! CAN YOU INTERPRET THESE SIGNS? 606 00:25:29,094 --> 00:25:29,638 HEY! CAN YOU INTERPRET THESE SIGNS? NO. 607 00:25:29,662 --> 00:25:31,406 CAN YOU INTERPRET THESE SIGNS? NO. SEEMS TO BE LOOKING UP AND 608 00:25:31,430 --> 00:25:32,240 NO. SEEMS TO BE LOOKING UP AND DOWN THERE. 609 00:25:32,264 --> 00:25:33,441 SEEMS TO BE LOOKING UP AND DOWN THERE. WELL, OKAY, JUST TAKE... 610 00:25:33,465 --> 00:25:36,812 DOWN THERE. WELL, OKAY, JUST TAKE... OH! 611 00:25:36,836 --> 00:25:38,179 WELL, OKAY, JUST TAKE... OH! WELL, I'M NOT SURE HOW TO READ 612 00:25:38,203 --> 00:25:38,580 OH! WELL, I'M NOT SURE HOW TO READ THAT. 613 00:25:38,604 --> 00:25:41,182 WELL, I'M NOT SURE HOW TO READ THAT. JUST TAKE TWO PINTS FROM HER. 614 00:25:41,206 --> 00:25:43,118 THAT. JUST TAKE TWO PINTS FROM HER. TAKE TWO PINTS FROM THAT BIRD, 615 00:25:43,142 --> 00:25:46,321 JUST TAKE TWO PINTS FROM HER. TAKE TWO PINTS FROM THAT BIRD, TOO. 616 00:25:46,345 --> 00:25:48,156 TAKE TWO PINTS FROM THAT BIRD, TOO. SHE'S DEAD. 617 00:25:48,180 --> 00:25:49,491 TOO. SHE'S DEAD. DEAD?! 618 00:25:49,515 --> 00:25:50,959 SHE'S DEAD. DEAD?! [Sobbing] I CAN'T BELIEVE MY 619 00:25:50,983 --> 00:25:53,228 DEAD?! [Sobbing] I CAN'T BELIEVE MY LITTLE GIRL IS DEAD! 620 00:25:53,252 --> 00:25:55,130 [Sobbing] I CAN'T BELIEVE MY LITTLE GIRL IS DEAD! NOW, MRS. MILLER, YOU'RE 621 00:25:55,154 --> 00:25:56,064 LITTLE GIRL IS DEAD! NOW, MRS. MILLER, YOU'RE DISTRAUGHT. 622 00:25:56,088 --> 00:25:56,999 NOW, MRS. MILLER, YOU'RE DISTRAUGHT. YOU'RE TIRED. 623 00:25:57,023 --> 00:25:58,534 DISTRAUGHT. YOU'RE TIRED. YOU MAY BE SUFFERING FROM 624 00:25:58,558 --> 00:25:59,768 YOU'RE TIRED. YOU MAY BE SUFFERING FROM NERVOUS EXHAUSTION. 625 00:25:59,792 --> 00:26:01,403 YOU MAY BE SUFFERING FROM NERVOUS EXHAUSTION. MAYBE WE'LL JUST TAKE SOME OF 626 00:26:01,427 --> 00:26:02,437 NERVOUS EXHAUSTION. MAYBE WE'LL JUST TAKE SOME OF YOUR BLOOD, TOO. 627 00:26:02,461 --> 00:26:03,505 MAYBE WE'LL JUST TAKE SOME OF YOUR BLOOD, TOO. YOU CHARLATAN! 628 00:26:03,529 --> 00:26:05,106 YOUR BLOOD, TOO. YOU CHARLATAN! YOU KILLED MY CHILDREN, JUST 629 00:26:05,130 --> 00:26:06,808 YOU CHARLATAN! YOU KILLED MY CHILDREN, JUST LIKE YOU KILLED THE REST OF MY 630 00:26:06,832 --> 00:26:07,308 YOU KILLED MY CHILDREN, JUST LIKE YOU KILLED THE REST OF MY FAMILY! 631 00:26:07,332 --> 00:26:08,544 LIKE YOU KILLED THE REST OF MY FAMILY! WHY DON'T YOU ADMIT IT?! 632 00:26:08,568 --> 00:26:09,845 FAMILY! WHY DON'T YOU ADMIT IT?! YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE 633 00:26:09,869 --> 00:26:11,847 WHY DON'T YOU ADMIT IT?! YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE DOING! 634 00:26:11,871 --> 00:26:14,315 YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE DOING! WAIT A MINUTE. 635 00:26:14,339 --> 00:26:15,517 DOING! WAIT A MINUTE. PERHAPS SHE'S RIGHT. 636 00:26:15,541 --> 00:26:16,985 WAIT A MINUTE. PERHAPS SHE'S RIGHT. PERHAPS I'VE BEEN WRONG TO 637 00:26:17,009 --> 00:26:18,453 PERHAPS SHE'S RIGHT. PERHAPS I'VE BEEN WRONG TO BLINDLY FOLLOW THE MEDICAL 638 00:26:18,477 --> 00:26:20,188 PERHAPS I'VE BEEN WRONG TO BLINDLY FOLLOW THE MEDICAL TRADITIONS AND SUPERSTITIONS OF 639 00:26:20,212 --> 00:26:21,423 BLINDLY FOLLOW THE MEDICAL TRADITIONS AND SUPERSTITIONS OF THE PAST CENTURIES. 640 00:26:21,447 --> 00:26:23,124 TRADITIONS AND SUPERSTITIONS OF THE PAST CENTURIES. MAYBE WE BARBERS SHOULD TEST 641 00:26:23,148 --> 00:26:24,993 THE PAST CENTURIES. MAYBE WE BARBERS SHOULD TEST THOSE ASSUMPTIONS ANALYTICALLY, 642 00:26:25,017 --> 00:26:27,029 MAYBE WE BARBERS SHOULD TEST THOSE ASSUMPTIONS ANALYTICALLY, THROUGH EXPERIMENTATION AND THE 643 00:26:27,053 --> 00:26:28,964 THOSE ASSUMPTIONS ANALYTICALLY, THROUGH EXPERIMENTATION AND THE SCIENTIFIC METHOD. 644 00:26:28,988 --> 00:26:30,465 THROUGH EXPERIMENTATION AND THE SCIENTIFIC METHOD. PERHAPS THIS SCIENTIFIC METHOD 645 00:26:30,489 --> 00:26:31,833 SCIENTIFIC METHOD. PERHAPS THIS SCIENTIFIC METHOD COULD BE EXTENDED TO OTHER 646 00:26:31,857 --> 00:26:33,602 PERHAPS THIS SCIENTIFIC METHOD COULD BE EXTENDED TO OTHER FIELDS OF LEARNING... THE 647 00:26:33,626 --> 00:26:35,170 COULD BE EXTENDED TO OTHER FIELDS OF LEARNING... THE NATURAL SCIENCES, ART, 648 00:26:35,194 --> 00:26:37,338 FIELDS OF LEARNING... THE NATURAL SCIENCES, ART, ARCHITECTURE, NAVIGATION. 649 00:26:37,362 --> 00:26:39,975 NATURAL SCIENCES, ART, ARCHITECTURE, NAVIGATION. PERHAPS I COULD LEAD THE WAY TO 650 00:26:39,999 --> 00:26:43,078 ARCHITECTURE, NAVIGATION. PERHAPS I COULD LEAD THE WAY TO A NEW AGE, AN AGE OF REBIRTH, A 651 00:26:43,102 --> 00:26:45,614 PERHAPS I COULD LEAD THE WAY TO A NEW AGE, AN AGE OF REBIRTH, A RENAISSANCE! 652 00:26:45,638 --> 00:26:47,616 A NEW AGE, AN AGE OF REBIRTH, A RENAISSANCE! NAH... 653 00:26:47,640 --> 00:26:49,551 RENAISSANCE! NAH... JOIN US NEXT WEEK FOR ANOTHER 654 00:26:49,575 --> 00:26:53,488 NAH... JOIN US NEXT WEEK FOR ANOTHER EPISODE OF... 655 00:26:53,512 --> 00:26:55,256 JOIN US NEXT WEEK FOR ANOTHER EPISODE OF... WHERE YOU'LL HEAR THEODORIC 656 00:26:55,280 --> 00:26:56,625 EPISODE OF... WHERE YOU'LL HEAR THEODORIC SAY... 657 00:26:56,649 --> 00:26:58,359 WHERE YOU'LL HEAR THEODORIC SAY... WELL, I THINK A LITTLE MORE 658 00:26:58,383 --> 00:27:00,028 SAY... WELL, I THINK A LITTLE MORE BLOODLETTING AND SOME BOAR'S 659 00:27:00,052 --> 00:27:01,496 WELL, I THINK A LITTLE MORE BLOODLETTING AND SOME BOAR'S VOMIT, AND HE'LL BE JUST FINE. 660 00:27:01,520 --> 00:27:04,281 BLOODLETTING AND SOME BOAR'S VOMIT, AND HE'LL BE JUST FINE. [GROANS] 661 00:27:15,466 --> 00:27:17,467 [DISCO MUSIC PLAYS] 662 00:27:30,615 --> 00:27:33,416 [ORCHESTRAL MUSIC PLAYS] 663 00:28:25,937 --> 00:28:27,871 [ORCHESTRAL MUSIC CONTINUES] 664 00:29:03,908 --> 00:29:05,843 [ORCHESTRAL MUSIC CONTINUES] 665 00:30:17,381 --> 00:30:19,983 [DISCO MUSIC RESUMES] 666 00:30:29,727 --> 00:30:33,408 PAT NIXON HAS A GALLSTONE REMOVED. THIS AND MORE ON 667 00:30:33,432 --> 00:30:34,742 REMOVED. THIS AND MORE ON "WEEKEND UPDATE," COMING UP 668 00:30:34,766 --> 00:30:38,914 THIS AND MORE ON "WEEKEND UPDATE," COMING UP NEXT. 669 00:30:38,938 --> 00:30:40,715 "WEEKEND UPDATE," COMING UP NEXT. Announcer: AND NOW "WEEKEND 670 00:30:40,739 --> 00:30:42,284 NEXT. Announcer: AND NOW "WEEKEND UPDATE" WITH THE "WEEKEND 671 00:30:42,308 --> 00:30:44,052 Announcer: AND NOW "WEEKEND UPDATE" WITH THE "WEEKEND UPDATE" NEWS TEAM, BROUGHT TO 672 00:30:44,076 --> 00:30:45,921 UPDATE" WITH THE "WEEKEND UPDATE" NEWS TEAM, BROUGHT TO YOU BY CRUELEX, THE FIRST MEN'S 673 00:30:45,945 --> 00:30:47,789 UPDATE" NEWS TEAM, BROUGHT TO YOU BY CRUELEX, THE FIRST MEN'S GROOMING AID THAT PROMOTES JOCK 674 00:30:47,813 --> 00:30:48,924 YOU BY CRUELEX, THE FIRST MEN'S GROOMING AID THAT PROMOTES JOCK ITCH. 675 00:30:48,948 --> 00:30:50,391 GROOMING AID THAT PROMOTES JOCK ITCH. HERE ARE ANCHORPERSONS 676 00:30:50,415 --> 00:30:52,393 ITCH. HERE ARE ANCHORPERSONS JANE CURTIN AND DAN AYKROYD. 677 00:30:52,417 --> 00:30:53,594 HERE ARE ANCHORPERSONS JANE CURTIN AND DAN AYKROYD. GOOD EVENING. 678 00:30:53,618 --> 00:30:54,830 JANE CURTIN AND DAN AYKROYD. GOOD EVENING. I'M DAVE AYKROYD. 679 00:30:54,854 --> 00:30:56,531 GOOD EVENING. I'M DAVE AYKROYD. AND I'M JEAN CURTIN. 680 00:30:56,555 --> 00:30:57,966 I'M DAVE AYKROYD. AND I'M JEAN CURTIN. HERE NOW, THE NEWS. 681 00:30:57,990 --> 00:30:59,734 AND I'M JEAN CURTIN. HERE NOW, THE NEWS. OUR TOP STORY TONIGHT... 682 00:30:59,758 --> 00:31:02,103 HERE NOW, THE NEWS. OUR TOP STORY TONIGHT... ALDO MORO IS ALIVE. 683 00:31:02,127 --> 00:31:03,538 OUR TOP STORY TONIGHT... ALDO MORO IS ALIVE. THE WELL-BEING OF THE FORMER 684 00:31:03,562 --> 00:31:05,106 ALDO MORO IS ALIVE. THE WELL-BEING OF THE FORMER ITALIAN PRESIDENT WAS CONFIRMED 685 00:31:05,130 --> 00:31:06,541 THE WELL-BEING OF THE FORMER ITALIAN PRESIDENT WAS CONFIRMED THIS WEEK WHEN HIS ABDUCTORS 686 00:31:06,565 --> 00:31:08,043 ITALIAN PRESIDENT WAS CONFIRMED THIS WEEK WHEN HIS ABDUCTORS ISSUED THIS PHOTOGRAPH OF MORO 687 00:31:08,067 --> 00:31:10,011 THIS WEEK WHEN HIS ABDUCTORS ISSUED THIS PHOTOGRAPH OF MORO HOLDING WEDNESDAY'S PAPER. 688 00:31:10,035 --> 00:31:11,179 ISSUED THIS PHOTOGRAPH OF MORO HOLDING WEDNESDAY'S PAPER. AND IN A RELATED STORY, 689 00:31:11,203 --> 00:31:12,580 HOLDING WEDNESDAY'S PAPER. AND IN A RELATED STORY, "WEEKEND UPDATE" HAS RECEIVED 690 00:31:12,604 --> 00:31:13,849 AND IN A RELATED STORY, "WEEKEND UPDATE" HAS RECEIVED PROOF OF THE WELL-BEING OF 691 00:31:13,873 --> 00:31:15,817 "WEEKEND UPDATE" HAS RECEIVED PROOF OF THE WELL-BEING OF ANOTHER PERSON FEARED DEAD... 692 00:31:15,841 --> 00:31:17,352 PROOF OF THE WELL-BEING OF ANOTHER PERSON FEARED DEAD... THIS PHOTOGRAPH OF FORMER 693 00:31:17,376 --> 00:31:19,154 ANOTHER PERSON FEARED DEAD... THIS PHOTOGRAPH OF FORMER TEAMSTER BOSS JIMMY HOFFA SHOWN 694 00:31:19,178 --> 00:31:20,788 THIS PHOTOGRAPH OF FORMER TEAMSTER BOSS JIMMY HOFFA SHOWN HOLDING TODAY'S DAILY NEWS. 695 00:31:20,812 --> 00:31:22,457 TEAMSTER BOSS JIMMY HOFFA SHOWN HOLDING TODAY'S DAILY NEWS. QUESTIONED AS TO HIS WHEREABOUTS 696 00:31:22,481 --> 00:31:24,025 HOLDING TODAY'S DAILY NEWS. QUESTIONED AS TO HIS WHEREABOUTS ALL THIS TIME, HOFFA EXPLAINED 697 00:31:24,049 --> 00:31:25,660 QUESTIONED AS TO HIS WHEREABOUTS ALL THIS TIME, HOFFA EXPLAINED THAT HE'S BEEN A REGULAR ON THE 698 00:31:25,684 --> 00:31:27,028 ALL THIS TIME, HOFFA EXPLAINED THAT HE'S BEEN A REGULAR ON THE "LOU GRANT" TV SERIES AND 699 00:31:27,052 --> 00:31:28,330 THAT HE'S BEEN A REGULAR ON THE "LOU GRANT" TV SERIES AND ATTRIBUTES HIS SO-CALLED 700 00:31:28,354 --> 00:31:32,500 "LOU GRANT" TV SERIES AND ATTRIBUTES HIS SO-CALLED DISAPPEARANCE TO POOR RATINGS. 701 00:31:32,524 --> 00:31:34,102 ATTRIBUTES HIS SO-CALLED DISAPPEARANCE TO POOR RATINGS. IN FLORENCE, ITALY, THIEVES 702 00:31:34,126 --> 00:31:35,737 DISAPPEARANCE TO POOR RATINGS. IN FLORENCE, ITALY, THIEVES BROKE INTO THE WORLD-FAMOUS 703 00:31:35,761 --> 00:31:37,438 IN FLORENCE, ITALY, THIEVES BROKE INTO THE WORLD-FAMOUS PITTI PALACE MUSEUM AND STOLE 704 00:31:37,462 --> 00:31:38,639 BROKE INTO THE WORLD-FAMOUS PITTI PALACE MUSEUM AND STOLE RUBENS' MASTERPIECE 705 00:31:38,663 --> 00:31:39,774 PITTI PALACE MUSEUM AND STOLE RUBENS' MASTERPIECE "THE THREE GRACES." 706 00:31:39,798 --> 00:31:41,542 RUBENS' MASTERPIECE "THE THREE GRACES." ACCORDING TO THE NIGHT WATCHMAN, 707 00:31:41,566 --> 00:31:43,745 "THE THREE GRACES." ACCORDING TO THE NIGHT WATCHMAN, THE THIEF WAS "A MEDIUM-SIZED 708 00:31:43,769 --> 00:31:46,114 ACCORDING TO THE NIGHT WATCHMAN, THE THIEF WAS "A MEDIUM-SIZED MAN WEARING A LONG COAT, A HAT, 709 00:31:46,138 --> 00:31:48,516 THE THIEF WAS "A MEDIUM-SIZED MAN WEARING A LONG COAT, A HAT, AND AN UNUSUAL GREEN DISGUISE ON 710 00:31:48,540 --> 00:31:49,217 MAN WEARING A LONG COAT, A HAT, AND AN UNUSUAL GREEN DISGUISE ON HIS FACE." 711 00:31:49,241 --> 00:31:50,651 AND AN UNUSUAL GREEN DISGUISE ON HIS FACE." BASED ON THIS DESCRIPTION, 712 00:31:50,675 --> 00:31:52,254 HIS FACE." BASED ON THIS DESCRIPTION, ITALIAN POLICE HAVE RENDERED A 713 00:31:52,278 --> 00:31:53,588 BASED ON THIS DESCRIPTION, ITALIAN POLICE HAVE RENDERED A COMPOSITE DRAWING OF THE 714 00:31:53,612 --> 00:31:55,223 ITALIAN POLICE HAVE RENDERED A COMPOSITE DRAWING OF THE PERPETRATOR AND HAVE ISSUED A 715 00:31:55,247 --> 00:31:56,892 COMPOSITE DRAWING OF THE PERPETRATOR AND HAVE ISSUED A WARRANT FOR HIS ARREST. 716 00:31:56,916 --> 00:31:58,493 PERPETRATOR AND HAVE ISSUED A WARRANT FOR HIS ARREST. THE SUBJECT IS CONSIDERED 717 00:31:58,517 --> 00:32:01,763 WARRANT FOR HIS ARREST. THE SUBJECT IS CONSIDERED McINTOSH AND OUT OF SEASON. 718 00:32:01,787 --> 00:32:03,131 THE SUBJECT IS CONSIDERED McINTOSH AND OUT OF SEASON. HOUSE AND SENATE CONFEREES 719 00:32:03,155 --> 00:32:04,366 MclNTOSH AND OUT OF SEASON. HOUSE AND SENATE CONFEREES FINALLY REACHED AGREEMENT 720 00:32:04,390 --> 00:32:05,867 HOUSE AND SENATE CONFEREES FINALLY REACHED AGREEMENT YESTERDAY ON NATURAL-GAS PRICING 721 00:32:05,891 --> 00:32:06,968 FINALLY REACHED AGREEMENT YESTERDAY ON NATURAL-GAS PRICING A YEAR AND A DAY AFTER 722 00:32:06,992 --> 00:32:08,336 YESTERDAY ON NATURAL-GAS PRICING A YEAR AND A DAY AFTER PRESIDENT CARTER UNVEILED HIS 723 00:32:08,360 --> 00:32:09,237 A YEAR AND A DAY AFTER PRESIDENT CARTER UNVEILED HIS ENERGY PROGRAM. 724 00:32:09,261 --> 00:32:10,171 PRESIDENT CARTER UNVEILED HIS ENERGY PROGRAM. ENERGY SECRETARY 725 00:32:10,195 --> 00:32:11,773 ENERGY PROGRAM. ENERGY SECRETARY JAMES SCHLESINGER IS ENCOURAGED 726 00:32:11,797 --> 00:32:13,408 ENERGY SECRETARY JAMES SCHLESINGER IS ENCOURAGED AND SAYS THE ONLY THING THAT GOT 727 00:32:13,432 --> 00:32:14,943 JAMES SCHLESINGER IS ENCOURAGED AND SAYS THE ONLY THING THAT GOT HIM THROUGH THE LAST 12 MONTHS 728 00:32:14,967 --> 00:32:16,378 AND SAYS THE ONLY THING THAT GOT HIM THROUGH THE LAST 12 MONTHS WAS WATCHING THE PHENOMENAL 729 00:32:16,402 --> 00:32:18,446 HIM THROUGH THE LAST 12 MONTHS WAS WATCHING THE PHENOMENAL SUCCESS OF HIS ILLEGITIMATE SON 730 00:32:18,470 --> 00:32:21,883 WAS WATCHING THE PHENOMENAL SUCCESS OF HIS ILLEGITIMATE SON COMEDIAN STEVE MARTIN. 731 00:32:21,907 --> 00:32:23,885 SUCCESS OF HIS ILLEGITIMATE SON COMEDIAN STEVE MARTIN. BELIEVED TO HAVE BEEN DEAD FOR 732 00:32:23,909 --> 00:32:25,287 COMEDIAN STEVE MARTIN. BELIEVED TO HAVE BEEN DEAD FOR THE PAST FIVE YEARS, 733 00:32:25,311 --> 00:32:27,022 BELIEVED TO HAVE BEEN DEAD FOR THE PAST FIVE YEARS, LYNDON JOHNSON THIS WEEK PAID A 734 00:32:27,046 --> 00:32:28,723 THE PAST FIVE YEARS, LYNDON JOHNSON THIS WEEK PAID A SURPRISE VISIT TO JIMMY CARTER 735 00:32:28,747 --> 00:32:29,690 LYNDON JOHNSON THIS WEEK PAID A SURPRISE VISIT TO JIMMY CARTER AT THE WHITE HOUSE. 736 00:32:29,714 --> 00:32:30,992 SURPRISE VISIT TO JIMMY CARTER AT THE WHITE HOUSE. AGING AND WHITE-HAIRED, BUT 737 00:32:31,016 --> 00:32:32,260 AT THE WHITE HOUSE. AGING AND WHITE-HAIRED, BUT LOOKING REMARKABLY FIT, THE 738 00:32:32,284 --> 00:32:33,728 AGING AND WHITE-HAIRED, BUT LOOKING REMARKABLY FIT, THE FORMER PRESIDENT SAID HIS DEATH 739 00:32:33,752 --> 00:32:36,097 LOOKING REMARKABLY FIT, THE FORMER PRESIDENT SAID HIS DEATH IN 1973 WAS JUST A HOAX. 740 00:32:36,121 --> 00:32:38,066 FORMER PRESIDENT SAID HIS DEATH IN 1973 WAS JUST A HOAX. HE THEN FLEW OFF TO MISSOURI TO 741 00:32:38,090 --> 00:32:43,038 IN 1973 WAS JUST A HOAX. HE THEN FLEW OFF TO MISSOURI TO VISIT HARRY TRUMAN. 742 00:32:43,062 --> 00:32:44,472 HE THEN FLEW OFF TO MISSOURI TO VISIT HARRY TRUMAN. AUTHORITIES HAVE ISSUED A 743 00:32:44,496 --> 00:32:46,041 VISIT HARRY TRUMAN. AUTHORITIES HAVE ISSUED A MARIJUANA ALERT BECAUSE, IN 744 00:32:46,065 --> 00:32:47,475 AUTHORITIES HAVE ISSUED A MARIJUANA ALERT BECAUSE, IN FACT, MUCH OF IT HAS BEEN 745 00:32:47,499 --> 00:32:49,110 MARIJUANA ALERT BECAUSE, IN FACT, MUCH OF IT HAS BEEN SPRAYED UNDER ORDERS FROM THE 746 00:32:49,134 --> 00:32:50,611 FACT, MUCH OF IT HAS BEEN SPRAYED UNDER ORDERS FROM THE U.S. STATE DEPARTMENT WITH 747 00:32:50,635 --> 00:32:52,680 SPRAYED UNDER ORDERS FROM THE U.S. STATE DEPARTMENT WITH DEADLY HERBICIDE PARAQUAT. 748 00:32:52,704 --> 00:32:54,282 U.S. STATE DEPARTMENT WITH DEADLY HERBICIDE PARAQUAT. AN EASY TEST IS NOW AVAILABLE TO 749 00:32:54,306 --> 00:32:55,483 DEADLY HERBICIDE PARAQUAT. AN EASY TEST IS NOW AVAILABLE TO FIND OUT WHETHER OR NOT 750 00:32:55,507 --> 00:32:57,052 AN EASY TEST IS NOW AVAILABLE TO FIND OUT WHETHER OR NOT MARIJUANA DOES CONTAIN PARAQUAT, 751 00:32:57,076 --> 00:32:58,653 FIND OUT WHETHER OR NOT MARIJUANA DOES CONTAIN PARAQUAT, AND AS A PUBLIC SERVICE, WE SENT 752 00:32:58,677 --> 00:33:00,588 MARIJUANA DOES CONTAIN PARAQUAT, AND AS A PUBLIC SERVICE, WE SENT CORRESPONDENT GARRETT MORRIS 753 00:33:00,612 --> 00:33:03,058 AND AS A PUBLIC SERVICE, WE SENT CORRESPONDENT GARRETT MORRIS UPTOWN TO SEE IF, UH, WE COULD 754 00:33:03,082 --> 00:33:04,359 CORRESPONDENT GARRETT MORRIS UPTOWN TO SEE IF, UH, WE COULD GET SOME... SOME DOPE, SO WE CAN 755 00:33:04,383 --> 00:33:06,027 UPTOWN TO SEE IF, UH, WE COULD GET SOME... SOME DOPE, SO WE CAN SHOW YOU HOW TO TEST IT. 756 00:33:06,051 --> 00:33:07,595 GET SOME... SOME DOPE, SO WE CAN SHOW YOU HOW TO TEST IT. UH, DO YOU HAVE THE STUFF? 757 00:33:07,619 --> 00:33:09,030 SHOW YOU HOW TO TEST IT. UH, DO YOU HAVE THE STUFF? UH, YEAH. 758 00:33:09,054 --> 00:33:11,854 UH, DO YOU HAVE THE STUFF? UH, YEAH. OKAY, MAN, HERE'S SOME BREAD. 759 00:33:17,495 --> 00:33:20,942 NOW, PLEASE, IN NO WAY DOES THIS MEAN THAT WE AT "WEEKEND UPDATE" ADVOCATE THE SMOKING OF 760 00:33:20,966 --> 00:33:21,476 MEAN THAT WE AT "WEEKEND UPDATE" ADVOCATE THE SMOKING OF MARIJUANA. 761 00:33:21,500 --> 00:33:22,743 ADVOCATE THE SMOKING OF MARIJUANA. IT'S JUST THAT A SURVEY SHOWS 762 00:33:22,767 --> 00:33:24,812 MARIJUANA. IT'S JUST THAT A SURVEY SHOWS THAT 97% OF OUR VIEWERS SMOKE IT 763 00:33:24,836 --> 00:33:25,713 IT'S JUST THAT A SURVEY SHOWS THAT 97% OF OUR VIEWERS SMOKE IT DAILY. 764 00:33:25,737 --> 00:33:28,016 THAT 97% OF OUR VIEWERS SMOKE IT DAILY. SO IT'S FOR THAT MINORITY THAT 765 00:33:28,040 --> 00:33:30,551 DAILY. SO IT'S FOR THAT MINORITY THAT WE'RE DOING THIS TEST. 766 00:33:30,575 --> 00:33:32,553 SO IT'S FOR THAT MINORITY THAT WE'RE DOING THIS TEST. THIS, UH... THIS LOOKS LIGHT. 767 00:33:32,577 --> 00:33:33,955 WE'RE DOING THIS TEST. THIS, UH... THIS LOOKS LIGHT. WE'RE GONNA SHOW YOU THAT TEST 768 00:33:33,979 --> 00:33:34,622 THIS, UH... THIS LOOKS LIGHT. WE'RE GONNA SHOW YOU THAT TEST IN A MINUTE. 769 00:33:34,646 --> 00:33:35,756 WE'RE GONNA SHOW YOU THAT TEST IN A MINUTE. IT'S REALLY LIGHT, MAN. 770 00:33:35,780 --> 00:33:37,859 IN A MINUTE. IT'S REALLY LIGHT, MAN. NO, MAN, IT'S COOL. 771 00:33:37,883 --> 00:33:39,227 IT'S REALLY LIGHT, MAN. NO, MAN, IT'S COOL. IT'S LIGHT. IT'S LIGHT. 772 00:33:39,251 --> 00:33:40,695 NO, MAN, IT'S COOL. IT'S LIGHT. IT'S LIGHT. GIVE ME THE REST OF THE LID. 773 00:33:40,719 --> 00:33:42,063 IT'S LIGHT. IT'S LIGHT. GIVE ME THE REST OF THE LID. LOOK, LOOK, LOOK, LOOK. 774 00:33:42,087 --> 00:33:43,664 GIVE ME THE REST OF THE LID. LOOK, LOOK, LOOK, LOOK. IT'S CLEAN, MAN... NO SEEDS, NO 775 00:33:43,688 --> 00:33:44,265 LOOK, LOOK, LOOK, LOOK. IT'S CLEAN, MAN... NO SEEDS, NO STEMS. 776 00:33:44,289 --> 00:33:45,133 IT'S CLEAN, MAN... NO SEEDS, NO STEMS. THAT'S ALL. 777 00:33:45,157 --> 00:33:46,134 STEMS. THAT'S ALL. IT'S LIGHT. IT'S UNDER, MAN. 778 00:33:46,158 --> 00:33:46,934 THAT'S ALL. IT'S LIGHT. IT'S UNDER, MAN. IT'S UNDER. IT'S UNDER. 779 00:33:46,958 --> 00:33:48,236 IT'S LIGHT. IT'S UNDER, MAN. IT'S UNDER. IT'S UNDER. LOOK, MAN, I CAN'T GO BACK UP 780 00:33:48,260 --> 00:33:48,870 IT'S UNDER. IT'S UNDER. LOOK, MAN, I CAN'T GO BACK UP THERE, OKAY? 781 00:33:48,894 --> 00:33:49,737 LOOK, MAN, I CAN'T GO BACK UP THERE, OKAY? THOSE GUYS SCARE ME. 782 00:33:49,761 --> 00:33:50,705 THERE, OKAY? THOSE GUYS SCARE ME. I'M SORRY, GARRETT. 783 00:33:50,729 --> 00:33:51,906 THOSE GUYS SCARE ME. I'M SORRY, GARRETT. THIS IS THE THIRD TIME YOU'VE 784 00:33:51,930 --> 00:33:52,673 I'M SORRY, GARRETT. THIS IS THE THIRD TIME YOU'VE SHORTCHANGED US. 785 00:33:52,697 --> 00:33:53,941 THIS IS THE THIRD TIME YOU'VE SHORTCHANGED US. EVERYBODY HERE'S GONNA GET MAD. 786 00:33:53,965 --> 00:33:55,110 SHORTCHANGED US. EVERYBODY HERE'S GONNA GET MAD. DON'T MAKE ME GO BACK UP 787 00:33:55,134 --> 00:33:55,510 EVERYBODY HERE'S GONNA GET MAD. DON'T MAKE ME GO BACK UP THERE. 788 00:33:55,534 --> 00:33:56,844 DON'T MAKE ME GO BACK UP THERE. THEY'RE GONNA BEAT ME UP AGAIN, 789 00:33:56,868 --> 00:33:57,178 THERE. THEY'RE GONNA BEAT ME UP AGAIN, MAN. 790 00:33:57,202 --> 00:33:58,413 THEY'RE GONNA BEAT ME UP AGAIN, MAN. I KNOW IT. 791 00:33:58,437 --> 00:33:59,547 MAN. I KNOW IT. WE'LL SHOW YOU THAT TEST 792 00:33:59,571 --> 00:33:59,914 I KNOW IT. WE'LL SHOW YOU THAT TEST LATER. 793 00:33:59,938 --> 00:34:01,216 WE'LL SHOW YOU THAT TEST LATER. YOU SEE, TO PERFORM IT, YOU NEED 794 00:34:01,240 --> 00:34:02,650 LATER. YOU SEE, TO PERFORM IT, YOU NEED A COMPLETE OUNCE, NOT 795 00:34:02,674 --> 00:34:04,719 YOU SEE, TO PERFORM IT, YOU NEED A COMPLETE OUNCE, NOT THREE-QUARTERS OR SEVEN-EIGHTHS, 796 00:34:04,743 --> 00:34:06,354 A COMPLETE OUNCE, NOT THREE-QUARTERS OR SEVEN-EIGHTHS, BUT A COMPLETE OUNCE. 797 00:34:06,378 --> 00:34:09,578 THREE-QUARTERS OR SEVEN-EIGHTHS, BUT A COMPLETE OUNCE. SORRY TO TAKE UP YOUR TIME. 798 00:34:13,584 --> 00:34:17,499 IN NEW DELHI, THE INDIAN INSTITUTE OF MEDICINE HAS DEVELOPED THE WORLD'S FIRST 799 00:34:17,523 --> 00:34:19,534 INDIAN INSTITUTE OF MEDICINE HAS DEVELOPED THE WORLD'S FIRST NASAL-SPRAY CONTRACEPTIVE. 800 00:34:19,558 --> 00:34:20,701 DEVELOPED THE WORLD'S FIRST NASAL-SPRAY CONTRACEPTIVE. ALTHOUGH THEORETICALLY 801 00:34:20,725 --> 00:34:22,337 NASAL-SPRAY CONTRACEPTIVE. ALTHOUGH THEORETICALLY EFFECTIVE, DOCTORS WON'T BE ABLE 802 00:34:22,361 --> 00:34:23,905 ALTHOUGH THEORETICALLY EFFECTIVE, DOCTORS WON'T BE ABLE TO KNOW CONCLUSIVELY UNTIL THEY 803 00:34:23,929 --> 00:34:25,206 EFFECTIVE, DOCTORS WON'T BE ABLE TO KNOW CONCLUSIVELY UNTIL THEY FIND SOMEONE IN INDIA WHO 804 00:34:25,230 --> 00:34:30,645 TO KNOW CONCLUSIVELY UNTIL THEY FIND SOMEONE IN INDIA WHO PRACTICES NASAL INTERCOURSE. 805 00:34:30,669 --> 00:34:32,347 FIND SOMEONE IN INDIA WHO PRACTICES NASAL INTERCOURSE. THIS WEEK WHILE MILLIONS OF 806 00:34:32,371 --> 00:34:34,149 PRACTICES NASAL INTERCOURSE. THIS WEEK WHILE MILLIONS OF AMERICANS WATCHED "HOLOCAUST" ON 807 00:34:34,173 --> 00:34:36,717 THIS WEEK WHILE MILLIONS OF AMERICANS WATCHED "HOLOCAUST" ON TV, FRANZ STREICHER, THE NAZI 808 00:34:36,741 --> 00:34:38,186 AMERICANS WATCHED "HOLOCAUST" ON TV, FRANZ STREICHER, THE NAZI WAR CRIMINAL WHO WAS RECENTLY 809 00:34:38,210 --> 00:34:39,454 TV, FRANZ STREICHER, THE NAZI WAR CRIMINAL WHO WAS RECENTLY FOUND HIDING IN PARAGUAY, 810 00:34:39,478 --> 00:34:40,855 WAR CRIMINAL WHO WAS RECENTLY FOUND HIDING IN PARAGUAY, ANNOUNCED HIS PLANS TO FIGHT 811 00:34:40,879 --> 00:34:42,357 FOUND HIDING IN PARAGUAY, ANNOUNCED HIS PLANS TO FIGHT EXTRADITION TO GERMANY WITH AN 812 00:34:42,381 --> 00:34:44,059 ANNOUNCED HIS PLANS TO FIGHT EXTRADITION TO GERMANY WITH AN UNPRECEDENTED DEFENSE. 813 00:34:44,083 --> 00:34:45,726 EXTRADITION TO GERMANY WITH AN UNPRECEDENTED DEFENSE. SAID THE 80-YEAR-OLD FORMER S.S. 814 00:34:45,750 --> 00:34:47,195 UNPRECEDENTED DEFENSE. SAID THE 80-YEAR-OLD FORMER S.S. LEADER, "I DIDN'T PERSONALLY 815 00:34:47,219 --> 00:34:47,962 SAID THE 80-YEAR-OLD FORMER S.S. LEADER, "I DIDN'T PERSONALLY KILL ANYONE. 816 00:34:47,986 --> 00:34:52,367 LEADER, "I DIDN'T PERSONALLY KILL ANYONE. I WAS ONLY GIVING ORDERS." 817 00:34:52,391 --> 00:34:53,301 KILL ANYONE. I WAS ONLY GIVING ORDERS." TONIGHT ON 818 00:34:53,325 --> 00:34:54,869 I WAS ONLY GIVING ORDERS." TONIGHT ON "POINT/COUNTERPOINT," JANE AND I 819 00:34:54,893 --> 00:34:56,171 TONIGHT ON "POINT/COUNTERPOINT," JANE AND I WILL ARGUE FEDERAL AID FOR 820 00:34:56,195 --> 00:34:56,804 "POINT/COUNTERPOINT," JANE AND I WILL ARGUE FEDERAL AID FOR ABORTIONS. 821 00:34:56,828 --> 00:34:58,139 WILL ARGUE FEDERAL AID FOR ABORTIONS. JANE WILL TAKE THE POINT FOR 822 00:34:58,163 --> 00:34:59,640 ABORTIONS. JANE WILL TAKE THE POINT FOR FEDERAL AID, AND I WILL TAKE THE 823 00:34:59,664 --> 00:35:00,708 JANE WILL TAKE THE POINT FOR FEDERAL AID, AND I WILL TAKE THE COUNTERPOINT AGAINST. 824 00:35:00,732 --> 00:35:01,176 FEDERAL AID, AND I WILL TAKE THE COUNTERPOINT AGAINST. JANE? 825 00:35:01,200 --> 00:35:02,743 COUNTERPOINT AGAINST. JANE? SAFE ABORTIONS HAVE ALWAYS 826 00:35:02,767 --> 00:35:04,479 JANE? SAFE ABORTIONS HAVE ALWAYS BEEN AVAILABLE TO THE RICH, DAN. 827 00:35:04,503 --> 00:35:05,947 SAFE ABORTIONS HAVE ALWAYS BEEN AVAILABLE TO THE RICH, DAN. YOU SIMPLY WANT TO DENY THEM TO 828 00:35:05,971 --> 00:35:07,348 BEEN AVAILABLE TO THE RICH, DAN. YOU SIMPLY WANT TO DENY THEM TO THE POOR, AND IF YOU SUCCEED, 829 00:35:07,372 --> 00:35:08,883 YOU SIMPLY WANT TO DENY THEM TO THE POOR, AND IF YOU SUCCEED, POOR WOMEN WILL BE FORCED TO GET 830 00:35:08,907 --> 00:35:09,750 THE POOR, AND IF YOU SUCCEED, POOR WOMEN WILL BE FORCED TO GET THEM, ANYWAY. 831 00:35:09,774 --> 00:35:11,486 POOR WOMEN WILL BE FORCED TO GET THEM, ANYWAY. THEY'LL BE FORCED BACK INTO THE 832 00:35:11,510 --> 00:35:13,188 THEM, ANYWAY. THEY'LL BE FORCED BACK INTO THE ALLEYS WITH HANGERS, PLUNGERS, 833 00:35:13,212 --> 00:35:14,789 THEY'LL BE FORCED BACK INTO THE ALLEYS WITH HANGERS, PLUNGERS, AND VACUUM CLEANERS, RISKING 834 00:35:14,813 --> 00:35:15,990 ALLEYS WITH HANGERS, PLUNGERS, AND VACUUM CLEANERS, RISKING DEATH OR MUTILATION. 835 00:35:16,014 --> 00:35:17,258 AND VACUUM CLEANERS, RISKING DEATH OR MUTILATION. BUT YOU'D LIKE THAT, WOULDN'T 836 00:35:17,282 --> 00:35:17,792 DEATH OR MUTILATION. BUT YOU'D LIKE THAT, WOULDN'T YOU, DAN? 837 00:35:17,816 --> 00:35:19,894 BUT YOU'D LIKE THAT, WOULDN'T YOU, DAN? YOU SADISTIC, ELITIST, SEXIST, 838 00:35:19,918 --> 00:35:24,599 YOU, DAN? YOU SADISTIC, ELITIST, SEXIST, RACIST, ANTIHUMANIST PIG. 839 00:35:24,623 --> 00:35:26,568 YOU SADISTIC, ELITIST, SEXIST, RACIST, ANTIHUMANIST PIG. JANE, YOU IGNORANT, MISGUIDED 840 00:35:26,592 --> 00:35:29,971 RACIST, ANTIHUMANIST PIG. JANE, YOU IGNORANT, MISGUIDED SLUT. 841 00:35:29,995 --> 00:35:31,439 JANE, YOU IGNORANT, MISGUIDED SLUT. ONCE AGAIN, YOU MISS THE POINT 842 00:35:31,463 --> 00:35:32,039 SLUT. ONCE AGAIN, YOU MISS THE POINT ENTIRELY. 843 00:35:32,063 --> 00:35:33,608 ONCE AGAIN, YOU MISS THE POINT ENTIRELY. WHY SHOULD I PAY HARD-EARNED TAX 844 00:35:33,632 --> 00:35:35,009 ENTIRELY. WHY SHOULD I PAY HARD-EARNED TAX DOLLARS SO WELFARE TARTS CAN 845 00:35:35,033 --> 00:35:36,311 WHY SHOULD I PAY HARD-EARNED TAX DOLLARS SO WELFARE TARTS CAN HAVE SEX ANYTIME THEY WANT 846 00:35:36,335 --> 00:35:37,979 DOLLARS SO WELFARE TARTS CAN HAVE SEX ANYTIME THEY WANT WITHOUT REGARD TO CONSEQUENCES? 847 00:35:38,003 --> 00:35:39,046 HAVE SEX ANYTIME THEY WANT WITHOUT REGARD TO CONSEQUENCES? HAVEN'T THESE BIMBOS HEARD OF 848 00:35:39,070 --> 00:35:40,515 WITHOUT REGARD TO CONSEQUENCES? HAVEN'T THESE BIMBOS HEARD OF ABSTINENCE? 849 00:35:40,539 --> 00:35:42,450 HAVEN'T THESE BIMBOS HEARD OF ABSTINENCE? I MYSELF HAVEN'T HAD SEX FOR TWO 850 00:35:42,474 --> 00:35:43,784 ABSTINENCE? I MYSELF HAVEN'T HAD SEX FOR TWO YEARS, AND I'M RICH. 851 00:35:43,808 --> 00:35:45,620 I MYSELF HAVEN'T HAD SEX FOR TWO YEARS, AND I'M RICH. WHY SHOULD I FOOT THE BILL FOR 852 00:35:45,644 --> 00:35:46,787 YEARS, AND I'M RICH. WHY SHOULD I FOOT THE BILL FOR KILLING UNBORN INFANTS, ANYWAY? 853 00:35:46,811 --> 00:35:47,822 WHY SHOULD I FOOT THE BILL FOR KILLING UNBORN INFANTS, ANYWAY? I'LL PAY FOR SOMETHING 854 00:35:47,846 --> 00:35:49,157 KILLING UNBORN INFANTS, ANYWAY? I'LL PAY FOR SOMETHING PRACTICAL, LIKE STERILIZATION, 855 00:35:49,181 --> 00:35:49,957 I'LL PAY FOR SOMETHING PRACTICAL, LIKE STERILIZATION, BUT ABORTIONS, NEVER. 856 00:35:49,981 --> 00:35:50,992 PRACTICAL, LIKE STERILIZATION, BUT ABORTIONS, NEVER. WITH ONE EXCEPTION... IF I'D 857 00:35:51,016 --> 00:35:52,127 BUT ABORTIONS, NEVER. WITH ONE EXCEPTION... IF I'D BEEN AROUND WHEN YOUR MOTHER WAS 858 00:35:52,151 --> 00:35:53,228 WITH ONE EXCEPTION... IF I'D BEEN AROUND WHEN YOUR MOTHER WAS CARRYING YOU, NOT ONLY WOULD I 859 00:35:53,252 --> 00:35:54,329 BEEN AROUND WHEN YOUR MOTHER WAS CARRYING YOU, NOT ONLY WOULD I HAVE PAID FOR THE ABORTION, BUT 860 00:35:54,353 --> 00:35:55,263 CARRYING YOU, NOT ONLY WOULD I HAVE PAID FOR THE ABORTION, BUT I WOULD HAVE PERFORMED IT 861 00:35:55,287 --> 00:36:00,168 HAVE PAID FOR THE ABORTION, BUT I WOULD HAVE PERFORMED IT MYSELF. 862 00:36:00,192 --> 00:36:01,269 I WOULD HAVE PERFORMED IT MYSELF. THANK YOU. 863 00:36:01,293 --> 00:36:05,006 MYSELF. THANK YOU. THANK YOU, DAN. 864 00:36:05,030 --> 00:36:06,807 THANK YOU. THANK YOU, DAN. UH, RECENT BULLETIN THAT'S 865 00:36:06,831 --> 00:36:08,343 THANK YOU, DAN. UH, RECENT BULLETIN THAT'S JUST IN... GARRETT MORRIS IS 866 00:36:08,367 --> 00:36:10,778 UH, RECENT BULLETIN THAT'S JUST IN... GARRETT MORRIS IS DEAD. 867 00:36:10,802 --> 00:36:12,247 JUST IN... GARRETT MORRIS IS DEAD. IN WHAT APPEARS TO HAVE BEEN A 868 00:36:12,271 --> 00:36:13,648 DEAD. IN WHAT APPEARS TO HAVE BEEN A DRUG-RELATED INCIDENT, EIGHT 869 00:36:13,672 --> 00:36:15,049 IN WHAT APPEARS TO HAVE BEEN A DRUG-RELATED INCIDENT, EIGHT YOUTHS FATALLY SHOT THE LATE 870 00:36:15,073 --> 00:36:16,417 DRUG-RELATED INCIDENT, EIGHT YOUTHS FATALLY SHOT THE LATE "UPDATE" CORRESPONDENT AT A 871 00:36:16,441 --> 00:36:17,718 YOUTHS FATALLY SHOT THE LATE "UPDATE" CORRESPONDENT AT A MIDTOWN PLAYGROUND. 872 00:36:17,742 --> 00:36:19,920 "UPDATE" CORRESPONDENT AT A MIDTOWN PLAYGROUND. ANOTHER PARAQUAT-RELATED DEATH, 873 00:36:19,944 --> 00:36:22,089 MIDTOWN PLAYGROUND. ANOTHER PARAQUAT-RELATED DEATH, JANE. 874 00:36:22,113 --> 00:36:23,458 ANOTHER PARAQUAT-RELATED DEATH, JANE. HOPING YOUR NEWS IS GOOD 875 00:36:23,482 --> 00:36:23,924 JANE. HOPING YOUR NEWS IS GOOD NEWS. 876 00:36:23,948 --> 00:36:25,593 HOPING YOUR NEWS IS GOOD NEWS. GOOD NIGHT, AND HAVE A PLEASANT 877 00:36:25,617 --> 00:36:27,462 NEWS. GOOD NIGHT, AND HAVE A PLEASANT TOMORROW. 878 00:36:27,486 --> 00:36:28,696 GOOD NIGHT, AND HAVE A PLEASANT TOMORROW. "WEEKEND UPDATE" IS A 879 00:36:28,720 --> 00:36:29,531 TOMORROW. "WEEKEND UPDATE" IS A PRESENTATION OF 880 00:36:29,555 --> 00:36:30,765 "WEEKEND UPDATE" IS A PRESENTATION OF "SATURDAY NIGHT NEWS," 881 00:36:30,789 --> 00:36:32,400 PRESENTATION OF "SATURDAY NIGHT NEWS," KEEPING AMERICA INFORMED FOR 882 00:36:32,424 --> 00:36:35,584 "SATURDAY NIGHT NEWS," KEEPING AMERICA INFORMED FOR OVER A FIFTIETH OF A CENTURY. 883 00:36:37,895 --> 00:36:43,110 I'D LIKE TO TALK SERIOUSLY JUST FOR A MOMENT. ONE OF THE GREAT ART EXHIBITS 884 00:36:43,134 --> 00:36:44,812 JUST FOR A MOMENT. ONE OF THE GREAT ART EXHIBITS EVER TO TOUR THE UNITED STATES 885 00:36:44,836 --> 00:36:46,614 ONE OF THE GREAT ART EXHIBITS EVER TO TOUR THE UNITED STATES IS THE TREASURES OF TUTANKHAMEN, 886 00:36:46,638 --> 00:36:47,415 EVER TO TOUR THE UNITED STATES IS THE TREASURES OF TUTANKHAMEN, OR KING TUT. 887 00:36:47,439 --> 00:36:48,949 IS THE TREASURES OF TUTANKHAMEN, OR KING TUT. BUT I THINK IT'S A NATIONAL 888 00:36:48,973 --> 00:36:50,351 OR KING TUT. BUT I THINK IT'S A NATIONAL DISGRACE THE WAY WE HAVE 889 00:36:50,375 --> 00:36:52,820 BUT I THINK IT'S A NATIONAL DISGRACE THE WAY WE HAVE COMMERCIALIZED IT WITH TRINKETS 890 00:36:52,844 --> 00:36:55,290 DISGRACE THE WAY WE HAVE COMMERCIALIZED IT WITH TRINKETS AND TOYS, T-SHIRTS AND POSTERS. 891 00:36:55,314 --> 00:36:56,957 COMMERCIALIZED IT WITH TRINKETS AND TOYS, T-SHIRTS AND POSTERS. AND ABOUT THREE MONTHS AGO, I 892 00:36:56,981 --> 00:36:58,693 AND TOYS, T-SHIRTS AND POSTERS. AND ABOUT THREE MONTHS AGO, I WAS UP IN THE WOODS AND I WROTE 893 00:36:58,717 --> 00:36:59,394 AND ABOUT THREE MONTHS AGO, I WAS UP IN THE WOODS AND I WROTE A SONG. 894 00:36:59,418 --> 00:37:01,196 WAS UP IN THE WOODS AND I WROTE A SONG. I TRIED TO USE THE ANCIENT 895 00:37:01,220 --> 00:37:02,863 A SONG. I TRIED TO USE THE ANCIENT MODALITIES AND MELODIES. 896 00:37:02,887 --> 00:37:04,031 I TRIED TO USE THE ANCIENT MODALITIES AND MELODIES. I WOULD LIKE TO DO IT FOR YOU 897 00:37:04,055 --> 00:37:04,599 MODALITIES AND MELODIES. I WOULD LIKE TO DO IT FOR YOU RIGHT NOW. 898 00:37:04,623 --> 00:37:05,667 I WOULD LIKE TO DO IT FOR YOU RIGHT NOW. MAYBE WE CAN ALL LEARN 899 00:37:05,691 --> 00:37:07,068 RIGHT NOW. MAYBE WE CAN ALL LEARN SOMETHING FROM THIS. 900 00:37:07,092 --> 00:37:09,652 MAYBE WE CAN ALL LEARN SOMETHING FROM THIS. [EGYPTIAN MUSIC PLAYS] 901 00:37:16,033 --> 00:37:21,749 ♪ KING TUT ♪ ♪ KING TUT ♪ ♪ NOW, WHEN HE WAS A YOUNG 902 00:37:21,773 --> 00:37:24,151 ♪ KING TUT ♪ ♪ NOW, WHEN HE WAS A YOUNG MAN, HE NEVER THOUGHT HE'D SEE ♪ 903 00:37:24,175 --> 00:37:26,954 ♪ NOW, WHEN HE WAS A YOUNG MAN, HE NEVER THOUGHT HE'D SEE ♪ ♪ PEOPLE STAND IN LINE TO SEE 904 00:37:26,978 --> 00:37:28,323 MAN, HE NEVER THOUGHT HE'D SEE ♪ ♪ PEOPLE STAND IN LINE TO SEE THE BOY KING ♪ 905 00:37:28,347 --> 00:37:30,625 ♪ PEOPLE STAND IN LINE TO SEE THE BOY KING ♪ ♪ KING TUT ♪ 906 00:37:30,649 --> 00:37:32,560 THE BOY KING ♪ ♪ KING TUT ♪ ♪ HOW'D YOU GET SO FUNKY? ♪ 907 00:37:32,584 --> 00:37:34,295 ♪ KING TUT ♪ ♪ HOW'D YOU GET SO FUNKY? ♪ ♪ FUNKY TUT ♪ 908 00:37:34,319 --> 00:37:36,997 ♪ HOW'D YOU GET SO FUNKY? ♪ ♪ FUNKY TUT ♪ ♪ DID YOU DO THE MONKEY? ♪ 909 00:37:37,021 --> 00:37:38,899 ♪ FUNKY TUT ♪ ♪ DID YOU DO THE MONKEY? ♪ ♪ BORN IN ARIZONA ♪ 910 00:37:38,923 --> 00:37:40,702 ♪ DID YOU DO THE MONKEY? ♪ ♪ BORN IN ARIZONA ♪ ♪ MOVED TO BABYLONIA ♪ 911 00:37:40,726 --> 00:37:44,706 ♪ BORN IN ARIZONA ♪ ♪ MOVED TO BABYLONIA ♪ ♪ KING TUT ♪ 912 00:37:44,730 --> 00:37:47,375 ♪ MOVED TO BABYLONIA ♪ ♪ KING TUT ♪ ♪ NOW, IF I'D KNOWN THEY'D 913 00:37:47,399 --> 00:37:49,009 ♪ KING TUT ♪ ♪ NOW, IF I'D KNOWN THEY'D LINE UP JUST TO SEE HIM ♪ 914 00:37:49,033 --> 00:37:51,246 ♪ NOW, IF I'D KNOWN THEY'D LINE UP JUST TO SEE HIM ♪ ♪ I'D HAVE TAKEN ALL MY MONEY 915 00:37:51,270 --> 00:37:53,147 LINE UP JUST TO SEE HIM ♪ ♪ I'D HAVE TAKEN ALL MY MONEY AND BOUGHT ME A MUSEUM ♪ 916 00:37:53,171 --> 00:37:55,250 ♪ I'D HAVE TAKEN ALL MY MONEY AND BOUGHT ME A MUSEUM ♪ ♪ KING TUT ♪ 917 00:37:55,274 --> 00:37:57,084 AND BOUGHT ME A MUSEUM ♪ ♪ KING TUT ♪ ♪ BURIED WITH A DONKEY ♪ 918 00:37:57,108 --> 00:37:59,487 ♪ KING TUT ♪ ♪ BURIED WITH A DONKEY ♪ ♪ FUNKY TUT ♪ 919 00:37:59,511 --> 00:38:01,822 ♪ BURIED WITH A DONKEY ♪ ♪ FUNKY TUT ♪ ♪ HE'S MY FAVORITE HONKY ♪ 920 00:38:01,846 --> 00:38:03,691 ♪ FUNKY TUT ♪ ♪ HE'S MY FAVORITE HONKY ♪ ♪ BORN IN ARIZONA ♪ 921 00:38:03,715 --> 00:38:05,526 ♪ HE'S MY FAVORITE HONKY ♪ ♪ BORN IN ARIZONA ♪ ♪ MOVED TO BABYLONIA ♪ 922 00:38:05,550 --> 00:38:09,830 ♪ BORN IN ARIZONA ♪ ♪ MOVED TO BABYLONIA ♪ ♪ KING TUT ♪ 923 00:38:09,854 --> 00:38:11,966 ♪ MOVED TO BABYLONIA ♪ ♪ KING TUT ♪ ♪ TUT, TUT ♪ 924 00:38:11,990 --> 00:38:13,601 ♪ KING TUT ♪ ♪ TUT, TUT ♪ ♪ DANCING BY THE NILE ♪ 925 00:38:13,625 --> 00:38:15,870 ♪ TUT, TUT ♪ ♪ DANCING BY THE NILE ♪ ♪ DISCO TUT, TUT ♪ 926 00:38:15,894 --> 00:38:17,739 ♪ DANCING BY THE NILE ♪ ♪ DISCO TUT, TUT ♪ ♪ THE LADIES LOVE HIS STYLE ♪ 927 00:38:17,763 --> 00:38:19,974 ♪ DISCO TUT, TUT ♪ ♪ THE LADIES LOVE HIS STYLE ♪ ♪ BOSS TUT, TUT ♪ 928 00:38:19,998 --> 00:38:21,842 ♪ THE LADIES LOVE HIS STYLE ♪ ♪ BOSS TUT, TUT ♪ ♪ ROCKIN' FOR A MILE ♪ 929 00:38:21,866 --> 00:38:24,211 ♪ BOSS TUT, TUT ♪ ♪ ROCKIN' FOR A MILE ♪ ♪ ROCKIN' TUT, TUT ♪ 930 00:38:24,235 --> 00:38:26,347 ♪ ROCKIN' FOR A MILE ♪ ♪ ROCKIN' TUT, TUT ♪ ♪ HE ATE A CROCODILE ♪ 931 00:38:26,371 --> 00:38:28,215 ♪ ROCKIN' TUT, TUT ♪ ♪ HE ATE A CROCODILE ♪ ♪ OOH ♪ 932 00:38:28,239 --> 00:38:29,717 ♪ HE ATE A CROCODILE ♪ ♪ OOH ♪ ♪ HE GAVE HIS LIFE FOR 933 00:38:29,741 --> 00:38:34,221 ♪ OOH ♪ ♪ HE GAVE HIS LIFE FOR TOURISM ♪ 934 00:38:34,245 --> 00:38:36,491 ♪ HE GAVE HIS LIFE FOR TOURISM ♪ ♪ TUT, TUT ♪ 935 00:38:36,515 --> 00:38:38,559 TOURISM ♪ ♪ TUT, TUT ♪ ♪ TUT, TUT ♪ 936 00:38:38,583 --> 00:38:40,461 ♪ TUT, TUT ♪ ♪ TUT, TUT ♪ ♪ TUT, TUT ♪ 937 00:38:40,485 --> 00:38:42,730 ♪ TUT, TUT ♪ ♪ TUT, TUT ♪ ♪ GOLDEN IDOLS ♪ 938 00:38:42,754 --> 00:38:44,899 ♪ TUT, TUT ♪ ♪ GOLDEN IDOLS ♪ ♪ TUT, TUT ♪ 939 00:38:44,923 --> 00:38:46,867 ♪ GOLDEN IDOLS ♪ ♪ TUT, TUT ♪ ♪ HE'S AN EGYPTIAN ♪ 940 00:38:46,891 --> 00:38:48,803 ♪ TUT, TUT ♪ ♪ HE'S AN EGYPTIAN ♪ ♪ TUT, TUT ♪ 941 00:38:48,827 --> 00:38:50,705 ♪ HE'S AN EGYPTIAN ♪ ♪ TUT, TUT ♪ ♪ TUT, TUT ♪ 942 00:38:50,729 --> 00:38:54,609 ♪ TUT, TUT ♪ ♪ TUT, TUT ♪ ♪ OOH... OOH-OOH ♪ 943 00:38:54,633 --> 00:38:58,979 ♪ TUT, TUT ♪ ♪ OOH... OOH-OOH ♪ ♪ KING TUT ♪ 944 00:38:59,003 --> 00:39:01,349 ♪ OOH... OOH-OOH ♪ ♪ KING TUT ♪ ♪ NOW, WHEN I DIE, NOW, DON'T 945 00:39:01,373 --> 00:39:02,784 ♪ KING TUT ♪ ♪ NOW, WHEN I DIE, NOW, DON'T THINK I'M A NUT ♪ 946 00:39:02,808 --> 00:39:04,952 ♪ NOW, WHEN I DIE, NOW, DON'T THINK I'M A NUT ♪ ♪ DON'T WANT NO FANCY FUNERAL, 947 00:39:04,976 --> 00:39:06,987 THINK I'M A NUT ♪ ♪ DON'T WANT NO FANCY FUNERAL, JUST ONE LIKE OLD KING TUT ♪ 948 00:39:07,011 --> 00:39:08,889 ♪ DON'T WANT NO FANCY FUNERAL, JUST ONE LIKE OLD KING TUT ♪ ♪ KING TUT ♪ 949 00:39:08,913 --> 00:39:10,491 JUST ONE LIKE OLD KING TUT ♪ ♪ KING TUT ♪ ♪ HE COULD HAVE WON A 950 00:39:10,515 --> 00:39:11,091 ♪ KING TUT ♪ ♪ HE COULD HAVE WON A GRAMMY ♪ 951 00:39:11,115 --> 00:39:13,695 ♪ HE COULD HAVE WON A GRAMMY ♪ ♪ KING TUT ♪ 952 00:39:13,719 --> 00:39:15,630 GRAMMY ♪ ♪ KING TUT ♪ ♪ BURIED IN HIS JAMMIES ♪ 953 00:39:15,654 --> 00:39:17,598 ♪ KING TUT ♪ ♪ BURIED IN HIS JAMMIES ♪ ♪ BORN IN ARIZONA ♪ 954 00:39:17,622 --> 00:39:19,634 ♪ BURIED IN HIS JAMMIES ♪ ♪ BORN IN ARIZONA ♪ ♪ MOVED TO BABYLONIA ♪ 955 00:39:19,658 --> 00:39:21,536 ♪ BORN IN ARIZONA ♪ ♪ MOVED TO BABYLONIA ♪ ♪ BORN IN ARIZONA ♪ 956 00:39:21,560 --> 00:39:22,870 ♪ MOVED TO BABYLONIA ♪ ♪ BORN IN ARIZONA ♪ ♪ GOT A CONDO MADE OF 957 00:39:22,894 --> 00:39:23,571 ♪ BORN IN ARIZONA ♪ ♪ GOT A CONDO MADE OF STONE-A ♪ 958 00:39:23,595 --> 00:39:25,340 ♪ GOT A CONDO MADE OF STONE-A ♪ ♪ KING TUT ♪ 959 00:39:25,364 --> 00:39:27,296 STONE-A ♪ ♪ KING TUT ♪ [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 960 00:39:46,384 --> 00:39:53,100 HAROLD, ARE YOU ASLEEP? WAKE UP, HAROLD. I HAVE SOMETHING TO TELL YOU. 961 00:39:53,124 --> 00:39:54,836 WAKE UP, HAROLD. I HAVE SOMETHING TO TELL YOU. CAN'T IT WAIT TILL MORNING? 962 00:39:54,860 --> 00:39:56,003 I HAVE SOMETHING TO TELL YOU. CAN'T IT WAIT TILL MORNING? HAROLD, WAKE UP! 963 00:39:56,027 --> 00:39:58,740 CAN'T IT WAIT TILL MORNING? HAROLD, WAKE UP! THIS IS IMPORTANT! 964 00:39:58,764 --> 00:40:01,509 HAROLD, WAKE UP! THIS IS IMPORTANT! OKAY. 965 00:40:01,533 --> 00:40:02,977 THIS IS IMPORTANT! OKAY. WHAT TIME IS IT? 966 00:40:03,001 --> 00:40:04,245 OKAY. WHAT TIME IS IT? WHAT IS IT? 967 00:40:04,269 --> 00:40:05,246 WHAT TIME IS IT? WHAT IS IT? [GROANS] 968 00:40:05,270 --> 00:40:07,715 WHAT IS IT? [GROANS] IT'S ALMOST 3:00 IN THE MORNING, 969 00:40:07,739 --> 00:40:08,883 [GROANS] IT'S ALMOST 3:00 IN THE MORNING, BETTY. 970 00:40:08,907 --> 00:40:12,420 IT'S ALMOST 3:00 IN THE MORNING, BETTY. HAROLD, ARE YOU LISTENING? 971 00:40:12,444 --> 00:40:14,822 BETTY. HAROLD, ARE YOU LISTENING? YES, I'M LISTENING. 972 00:40:14,846 --> 00:40:16,257 HAROLD, ARE YOU LISTENING? YES, I'M LISTENING. I'VE BEEN CHEATING ON YOU, 973 00:40:16,281 --> 00:40:20,294 YES, I'M LISTENING. I'VE BEEN CHEATING ON YOU, HAROLD. 974 00:40:20,318 --> 00:40:21,729 I'VE BEEN CHEATING ON YOU, HAROLD. BETTY, WHAT ARE YOU SAYING? 975 00:40:21,753 --> 00:40:23,097 HAROLD. BETTY, WHAT ARE YOU SAYING? I'M SAYING THAT I'VE BEEN 976 00:40:23,121 --> 00:40:24,331 BETTY, WHAT ARE YOU SAYING? I'M SAYING THAT I'VE BEEN WITH ANOTHER MAN, HAROLD. 977 00:40:24,355 --> 00:40:25,867 I'M SAYING THAT I'VE BEEN WITH ANOTHER MAN, HAROLD. I'M SORRY, BUT IT'S BEEN DRIVING 978 00:40:25,891 --> 00:40:28,302 WITH ANOTHER MAN, HAROLD. I'M SORRY, BUT IT'S BEEN DRIVING ME CRAZY KEEPING IT TO MYSELF. 979 00:40:28,326 --> 00:40:31,071 I'M SORRY, BUT IT'S BEEN DRIVING ME CRAZY KEEPING IT TO MYSELF. OH, WOW. 980 00:40:31,095 --> 00:40:33,841 ME CRAZY KEEPING IT TO MYSELF. OH, WOW. I CAN'T BELIEVE IT. 981 00:40:33,865 --> 00:40:36,677 OH, WOW. I CAN'T BELIEVE IT. AFTER 22 YEARS OF MARRIAGE... 982 00:40:36,701 --> 00:40:37,879 I CAN'T BELIEVE IT. AFTER 22 YEARS OF MARRIAGE... WHO IS IT? 983 00:40:37,903 --> 00:40:39,480 AFTER 22 YEARS OF MARRIAGE... WHO IS IT? NO, DON'T TELL ME. 984 00:40:39,504 --> 00:40:40,782 WHO IS IT? NO, DON'T TELL ME. IF I KNEW, I'D PROBABLY GO OUT 985 00:40:40,806 --> 00:40:42,383 NO, DON'T TELL ME. IF I KNEW, I'D PROBABLY GO OUT AND KILL HIM RIGHT NOW. 986 00:40:42,407 --> 00:40:43,751 IF I KNEW, I'D PROBABLY GO OUT AND KILL HIM RIGHT NOW. IT'S SOMEBODY YOU KNOW, 987 00:40:43,775 --> 00:40:47,254 AND KILL HIM RIGHT NOW. IT'S SOMEBODY YOU KNOW, HAROLD. 988 00:40:47,278 --> 00:40:48,188 IT'S SOMEBODY YOU KNOW, HAROLD. NO, DON'T TELL ME! 989 00:40:48,212 --> 00:40:49,323 HAROLD. NO, DON'T TELL ME! I'VE GOT TO TELL YOU... 990 00:40:49,347 --> 00:40:50,658 NO, DON'T TELL ME! I'VE GOT TO TELL YOU... THAT'S THE ONLY WAY I COULD LIVE 991 00:40:50,682 --> 00:40:51,258 I'VE GOT TO TELL YOU... THAT'S THE ONLY WAY I COULD LIVE WITH MYSELF. 992 00:40:51,282 --> 00:40:53,895 THAT'S THE ONLY WAY I COULD LIVE WITH MYSELF. IT'S MR. LAMPTON. 993 00:40:53,919 --> 00:40:56,130 WITH MYSELF. IT'S MR. LAMPTON. MR. LAMPTON? 994 00:40:56,154 --> 00:40:57,465 IT'S MR. LAMPTON. MR. LAMPTON? THE DRUGGIST? 995 00:40:57,489 --> 00:40:59,600 MR. LAMPTON? THE DRUGGIST? HE'S 72 YEARS OLD. 996 00:40:59,624 --> 00:41:01,235 THE DRUGGIST? HE'S 72 YEARS OLD. HE'S OLD ENOUGH TO BE YOUR 997 00:41:01,259 --> 00:41:02,303 HE'S 72 YEARS OLD. HE'S OLD ENOUGH TO BE YOUR FATHER. 998 00:41:02,327 --> 00:41:04,238 HE'S OLD ENOUGH TO BE YOUR FATHER. I KNOW. 999 00:41:04,262 --> 00:41:05,873 FATHER. I KNOW. AND HE'S A LOT LIKE MY FATHER, 1000 00:41:05,897 --> 00:41:06,441 I KNOW. AND HE'S A LOT LIKE MY FATHER, HAROLD. 1001 00:41:06,465 --> 00:41:08,108 AND HE'S A LOT LIKE MY FATHER, HAROLD. HE TELLS ME WHAT TO DO AND WHAT 1002 00:41:08,132 --> 00:41:08,976 HAROLD. HE TELLS ME WHAT TO DO AND WHAT NOT TO DO. 1003 00:41:09,000 --> 00:41:10,778 HE TELLS ME WHAT TO DO AND WHAT NOT TO DO. HE REWARDS ME WHEN I'M GOOD, AND 1004 00:41:10,802 --> 00:41:12,313 NOT TO DO. HE REWARDS ME WHEN I'M GOOD, AND HE SPANKS ME WHEN I'M BAD, 1005 00:41:12,337 --> 00:41:14,482 HE REWARDS ME WHEN I'M GOOD, AND HE SPANKS ME WHEN I'M BAD, HAROLD. 1006 00:41:14,506 --> 00:41:18,185 HE SPANKS ME WHEN I'M BAD, HAROLD. OLD MR. LAMPTON, HUH? 1007 00:41:18,209 --> 00:41:19,320 HAROLD. OLD MR. LAMPTON, HUH? WELL... 1008 00:41:19,344 --> 00:41:21,088 OLD MR. LAMPTON, HUH? WELL... [COUGHING] 1009 00:41:21,112 --> 00:41:22,523 WELL... [COUGHING] AS LONG AS YOU'RE BEING SO 1010 00:41:22,547 --> 00:41:24,525 [COUGHING] AS LONG AS YOU'RE BEING SO FRANK... 1011 00:41:24,549 --> 00:41:25,726 AS LONG AS YOU'RE BEING SO FRANK... I MIGHT AS WELL TELL YOU I'VE 1012 00:41:25,750 --> 00:41:28,563 FRANK... I MIGHT AS WELL TELL YOU I'VE BEEN FOOLING AROUND, TOO, BETTY. 1013 00:41:28,587 --> 00:41:29,564 I MIGHT AS WELL TELL YOU I'VE BEEN FOOLING AROUND, TOO, BETTY. YOU? 1014 00:41:29,588 --> 00:41:31,632 BEEN FOOLING AROUND, TOO, BETTY. YOU? DON'T MAKE ME LAUGH. 1015 00:41:31,656 --> 00:41:33,000 YOU? DON'T MAKE ME LAUGH. [LAUGHING] 1016 00:41:33,024 --> 00:41:34,769 DON'T MAKE ME LAUGH. [LAUGHING] PEGGY ANN RANDOLPH. 1017 00:41:34,793 --> 00:41:36,504 [LAUGHING] PEGGY ANN RANDOLPH. I DON'T BELIEVE IT. 1018 00:41:36,528 --> 00:41:38,506 PEGGY ANN RANDOLPH. I DON'T BELIEVE IT. WHY'S IT SO HARD TO BELIEVE? 1019 00:41:38,530 --> 00:41:39,607 I DON'T BELIEVE IT. WHY'S IT SO HARD TO BELIEVE? OH, HAROLD, COME ON. 1020 00:41:39,631 --> 00:41:40,942 WHY'S IT SO HARD TO BELIEVE? OH, HAROLD, COME ON. SHE'S YOUNG ENOUGH TO BE YOUR 1021 00:41:40,966 --> 00:41:41,509 OH, HAROLD, COME ON. SHE'S YOUNG ENOUGH TO BE YOUR DAUGHTER. 1022 00:41:41,533 --> 00:41:42,109 SHE'S YOUNG ENOUGH TO BE YOUR DAUGHTER. I KNOW. 1023 00:41:42,133 --> 00:41:43,811 DAUGHTER. I KNOW. HOW CAN YOU KEEP UP WITH HER? 1024 00:41:43,835 --> 00:41:44,579 I KNOW. HOW CAN YOU KEEP UP WITH HER? SHE'D KILL YOU. 1025 00:41:44,603 --> 00:41:45,780 HOW CAN YOU KEEP UP WITH HER? SHE'D KILL YOU. WELL, WE ALL GOT TO GO 1026 00:41:45,804 --> 00:41:50,885 SHE'D KILL YOU. WELL, WE ALL GOT TO GO SOMETIME. 1027 00:41:50,909 --> 00:41:53,187 WELL, WE ALL GOT TO GO SOMETIME. AW, GEE... 1028 00:41:53,211 --> 00:41:56,190 SOMETIME. AW, GEE... YOU AND OLD MR. LAMPTON. 1029 00:41:56,214 --> 00:41:57,758 AW, GEE... YOU AND OLD MR. LAMPTON. I JUST CAN'T PICTURE IT. 1030 00:41:57,782 --> 00:41:59,494 YOU AND OLD MR. LAMPTON. I JUST CAN'T PICTURE IT. WELL, JUST PICTURE THIS, 1031 00:41:59,518 --> 00:42:01,295 I JUST CAN'T PICTURE IT. WELL, JUST PICTURE THIS, HAROLD... THIS HAPPENS EVERY 1032 00:42:01,319 --> 00:42:01,863 WELL, JUST PICTURE THIS, HAROLD... THIS HAPPENS EVERY DAY. 1033 00:42:01,887 --> 00:42:04,231 HAROLD... THIS HAPPENS EVERY DAY. YOU GO OFF TO WORK, AND I'M HOME 1034 00:42:04,255 --> 00:42:06,266 DAY. YOU GO OFF TO WORK, AND I'M HOME WEARING NOTHING BUT A 1035 00:42:06,290 --> 00:42:07,935 YOU GO OFF TO WORK, AND I'M HOME WEARING NOTHING BUT A HOUSECOAT... YOU KNOW, THE PINK 1036 00:42:07,959 --> 00:42:09,604 WEARING NOTHING BUT A HOUSECOAT... YOU KNOW, THE PINK ONE YOU GAVE ME LAST CHRISTMAS? 1037 00:42:09,628 --> 00:42:11,205 HOUSECOAT... YOU KNOW, THE PINK ONE YOU GAVE ME LAST CHRISTMAS? UNDERNEATH, I'M AS NAKED AS A 1038 00:42:11,229 --> 00:42:11,806 ONE YOU GAVE ME LAST CHRISTMAS? UNDERNEATH, I'M AS NAKED AS A JAYBIRD. 1039 00:42:11,830 --> 00:42:12,540 UNDERNEATH, I'M AS NAKED AS A JAYBIRD. YOU ARE? 1040 00:42:12,564 --> 00:42:14,509 JAYBIRD. YOU ARE? YEAH, SURE AM. 1041 00:42:14,533 --> 00:42:15,877 YOU ARE? YEAH, SURE AM. I DRIVE OVER TO MR. LAMPTON'S 1042 00:42:15,901 --> 00:42:16,978 YEAH, SURE AM. I DRIVE OVER TO MR. LAMPTON'S DRUGSTORE. 1043 00:42:17,002 --> 00:42:17,879 I DRIVE OVER TO MR. LAMPTON'S DRUGSTORE. I PARK IN THE BACK. 1044 00:42:17,903 --> 00:42:18,913 DRUGSTORE. I PARK IN THE BACK. I GO IN THE BACK DOOR. 1045 00:42:18,937 --> 00:42:20,314 I PARK IN THE BACK. I GO IN THE BACK DOOR. OLD MAN LAMPTON IS WAITING FOR 1046 00:42:20,338 --> 00:42:20,648 I GO IN THE BACK DOOR. OLD MAN LAMPTON IS WAITING FOR ME. 1047 00:42:20,672 --> 00:42:22,216 OLD MAN LAMPTON IS WAITING FOR ME. HE'S WEARING HIS WHITE LAB COAT, 1048 00:42:22,240 --> 00:42:23,751 ME. HE'S WEARING HIS WHITE LAB COAT, ALSO WITH NOTHING ON UNDERNEATH. 1049 00:42:23,775 --> 00:42:24,385 HE'S WEARING HIS WHITE LAB COAT, ALSO WITH NOTHING ON UNDERNEATH. REALLY? 1050 00:42:24,409 --> 00:42:25,620 ALSO WITH NOTHING ON UNDERNEATH. REALLY? YEAH, LIKE A WRINKLED 1051 00:42:25,644 --> 00:42:26,286 REALLY? YEAH, LIKE A WRINKLED JAYBIRD. 1052 00:42:26,310 --> 00:42:28,389 YEAH, LIKE A WRINKLED JAYBIRD. HAROLD, WE BOTH COUNT TO 10, WE 1053 00:42:28,413 --> 00:42:30,391 JAYBIRD. HAROLD, WE BOTH COUNT TO 10, WE TEAR OFF OUR COATS, AND RIGHT 1054 00:42:30,415 --> 00:42:32,159 HAROLD, WE BOTH COUNT TO 10, WE TEAR OFF OUR COATS, AND RIGHT THERE ON THE FLOOR OF THE 1055 00:42:32,183 --> 00:42:34,028 TEAR OFF OUR COATS, AND RIGHT THERE ON THE FLOOR OF THE PHARMACY, HE FILLS MY 1056 00:42:34,052 --> 00:42:37,164 THERE ON THE FLOOR OF THE PHARMACY, HE FILLS MY PRESCRIPTION. 1057 00:42:37,188 --> 00:42:39,901 PHARMACY, HE FILLS MY PRESCRIPTION. YEAH, I CAN PICTURE THAT. 1058 00:42:39,925 --> 00:42:41,936 PRESCRIPTION. YEAH, I CAN PICTURE THAT. GOOD, BECAUSE I CAN'T PICTURE 1059 00:42:41,960 --> 00:42:43,203 YEAH, I CAN PICTURE THAT. GOOD, BECAUSE I CAN'T PICTURE YOU AND PEGGY ANN. 1060 00:42:43,227 --> 00:42:45,907 GOOD, BECAUSE I CAN'T PICTURE YOU AND PEGGY ANN. WELL, THEN, LET ME TELL YOU. 1061 00:42:45,931 --> 00:42:48,743 YOU AND PEGGY ANN. WELL, THEN, LET ME TELL YOU. EVERY AFTERNOON WHEN SHE'S 1062 00:42:48,767 --> 00:42:50,077 WELL, THEN, LET ME TELL YOU. EVERY AFTERNOON WHEN SHE'S FINISHED WITH CHEERLEADING 1063 00:42:50,101 --> 00:42:53,147 EVERY AFTERNOON WHEN SHE'S FINISHED WITH CHEERLEADING PRACTICE, I PICK UP PEGGY ANN 1064 00:42:53,171 --> 00:42:55,449 FINISHED WITH CHEERLEADING PRACTICE, I PICK UP PEGGY ANN ACROSS FROM THE SCHOOL YARD. 1065 00:42:55,473 --> 00:42:57,384 PRACTICE, I PICK UP PEGGY ANN ACROSS FROM THE SCHOOL YARD. AND SINCE I DON'T WANT TO BE 1066 00:42:57,408 --> 00:42:59,587 ACROSS FROM THE SCHOOL YARD. AND SINCE I DON'T WANT TO BE RECOGNIZED, I DISGUISE MYSELF BY 1067 00:42:59,611 --> 00:43:02,690 AND SINCE I DON'T WANT TO BE RECOGNIZED, I DISGUISE MYSELF BY WEARING A CUB SCOUT UNIFORM. 1068 00:43:02,714 --> 00:43:05,560 RECOGNIZED, I DISGUISE MYSELF BY WEARING A CUB SCOUT UNIFORM. PEGGY ANN APPROACHES THE CAR AND 1069 00:43:05,584 --> 00:43:08,262 WEARING A CUB SCOUT UNIFORM. PEGGY ANN APPROACHES THE CAR AND SAYS, "DOES LITTLE HAROLD WANT 1070 00:43:08,286 --> 00:43:11,465 PEGGY ANN APPROACHES THE CAR AND SAYS, "DOES LITTLE HAROLD WANT TO EARN A MERIT BADGE?" 1071 00:43:11,489 --> 00:43:12,567 SAYS, "DOES LITTLE HAROLD WANT TO EARN A MERIT BADGE?" I DON'T BELIEVE IT. 1072 00:43:12,591 --> 00:43:13,834 TO EARN A MERIT BADGE?" I DON'T BELIEVE IT. WELL, YOU BETTER BELIEVE 1073 00:43:13,858 --> 00:43:14,168 I DON'T BELIEVE IT. WELL, YOU BETTER BELIEVE IT. 1074 00:43:14,192 --> 00:43:16,103 WELL, YOU BETTER BELIEVE IT. AND I SAY, "SURE, I'D LIKE A 1075 00:43:16,127 --> 00:43:16,771 IT. AND I SAY, "SURE, I'D LIKE A BADGE." 1076 00:43:16,795 --> 00:43:18,539 AND I SAY, "SURE, I'D LIKE A BADGE." AND THEN WE DRIVE INTO THE 1077 00:43:18,563 --> 00:43:19,373 BADGE." AND THEN WE DRIVE INTO THE WOODS. 1078 00:43:19,397 --> 00:43:20,908 AND THEN WE DRIVE INTO THE WOODS. I BUILD A FIRE. 1079 00:43:20,932 --> 00:43:23,510 WOODS. I BUILD A FIRE. SHE FISHES FOR MINNOWS. 1080 00:43:23,534 --> 00:43:26,313 I BUILD A FIRE. SHE FISHES FOR MINNOWS. AND THEN WE DO IT IN A PUP TENT. 1081 00:43:26,337 --> 00:43:29,183 SHE FISHES FOR MINNOWS. AND THEN WE DO IT IN A PUP TENT. [LAUGHING] 1082 00:43:29,207 --> 00:43:31,452 AND THEN WE DO IT IN A PUP TENT. [LAUGHING] WHAT AN IMAGINATION... PUP TENT. 1083 00:43:31,476 --> 00:43:33,153 [LAUGHING] WHAT AN IMAGINATION... PUP TENT. THAT'S GREAT. 1084 00:43:33,177 --> 00:43:34,789 WHAT AN IMAGINATION... PUP TENT. THAT'S GREAT. I'M READY. HOW ABOUT YOU? 1085 00:43:34,813 --> 00:43:35,489 THAT'S GREAT. I'M READY. HOW ABOUT YOU? NOT QUITE. 1086 00:43:35,513 --> 00:43:36,824 I'M READY. HOW ABOUT YOU? NOT QUITE. TELL ME ABOUT THE BACK OF THE 1087 00:43:36,848 --> 00:43:38,358 NOT QUITE. TELL ME ABOUT THE BACK OF THE DRUGSTORE AGAIN. 1088 00:43:38,382 --> 00:43:42,129 TELL ME ABOUT THE BACK OF THE DRUGSTORE AGAIN. NOW, YOU ONLY HAD YOUR HOUSECOAT 1089 00:43:42,153 --> 00:43:42,663 DRUGSTORE AGAIN. NOW, YOU ONLY HAD YOUR HOUSECOAT ON, RIGHT? 1090 00:43:42,687 --> 00:43:43,798 NOW, YOU ONLY HAD YOUR HOUSECOAT ON, RIGHT? YEAH, MY PINK HOUSECOAT. 1091 00:43:43,822 --> 00:43:44,498 ON, RIGHT? YEAH, MY PINK HOUSECOAT. YEAH, RIGHT. 1092 00:43:44,522 --> 00:43:45,499 YEAH, MY PINK HOUSECOAT. YEAH, RIGHT. I DRIVE TO THE BACK. 1093 00:43:45,523 --> 00:43:47,034 YEAH, RIGHT. I DRIVE TO THE BACK. HE'S GOT HIS LAB COAT ON. 1094 00:43:47,058 --> 00:43:47,668 I DRIVE TO THE BACK. HE'S GOT HIS LAB COAT ON. RIGHT. 1095 00:43:47,692 --> 00:43:49,169 HE'S GOT HIS LAB COAT ON. RIGHT. AND WE RIP OFF OUR COATS. 1096 00:43:49,193 --> 00:43:50,537 RIGHT. AND WE RIP OFF OUR COATS. RIGHT. 1097 00:43:50,561 --> 00:43:51,739 AND WE RIP OFF OUR COATS. RIGHT. OH, I FORGOT TO TELL YOU 1098 00:43:51,763 --> 00:43:52,840 RIGHT. OH, I FORGOT TO TELL YOU WE'RE BOTH WEARING RUBBER 1099 00:43:52,864 --> 00:43:53,307 OH, I FORGOT TO TELL YOU WE'RE BOTH WEARING RUBBER GLOVES! 1100 00:43:53,331 --> 00:43:54,909 WE'RE BOTH WEARING RUBBER GLOVES! OH! WOW, THAT DID IT. 1101 00:43:54,933 --> 00:43:56,176 GLOVES! OH! WOW, THAT DID IT. THAT'S IT. I'M READY. 1102 00:43:56,200 --> 00:43:57,511 OH! WOW, THAT DID IT. THAT'S IT. I'M READY. GREAT STORY, HAROLD. 1103 00:43:57,535 --> 00:43:58,345 THAT'S IT. I'M READY. GREAT STORY, HAROLD. GREAT STORY. 1104 00:43:58,369 --> 00:44:00,214 GREAT STORY, HAROLD. GREAT STORY. AW, YOURS WAS GREAT. 1105 00:44:00,238 --> 00:44:01,682 GREAT STORY. AW, YOURS WAS GREAT. I LOVE THE RUBBER GLOVES. 1106 00:44:01,706 --> 00:44:03,484 AW, YOURS WAS GREAT. I LOVE THE RUBBER GLOVES. YEAH. 1107 00:44:03,508 --> 00:44:05,119 I LOVE THE RUBBER GLOVES. YEAH. LISTEN... ARE WE GONNA... ARE 1108 00:44:05,143 --> 00:44:06,687 YEAH. LISTEN... ARE WE GONNA... ARE WE GONNA DO IT TOMORROW NIGHT? 1109 00:44:06,711 --> 00:44:07,588 LISTEN... ARE WE GONNA... ARE WE GONNA DO IT TOMORROW NIGHT? I DON'T KNOW. 1110 00:44:07,612 --> 00:44:08,923 WE GONNA DO IT TOMORROW NIGHT? I DON'T KNOW. YOU WANNA LOOK AT THE NUDE 1111 00:44:08,947 --> 00:44:10,491 I DON'T KNOW. YOU WANNA LOOK AT THE NUDE PICTURES OF YOUR PARENTS AGAIN? 1112 00:44:10,515 --> 00:44:11,692 YOU WANNA LOOK AT THE NUDE PICTURES OF YOUR PARENTS AGAIN? SURE, SURE. 1113 00:44:11,716 --> 00:44:12,526 PICTURES OF YOUR PARENTS AGAIN? SURE, SURE. COME ON. 1114 00:44:12,550 --> 00:44:13,427 SURE, SURE. COME ON. RUBBER GLOVES! 1115 00:44:13,451 --> 00:44:14,161 COME ON. RUBBER GLOVES! PUP TENT! 1116 00:44:14,185 --> 00:44:14,695 RUBBER GLOVES! PUP TENT! RUBBER GLOVES! 1117 00:44:14,719 --> 00:44:15,329 PUP TENT! RUBBER GLOVES! PUP TENT! 1118 00:44:15,353 --> 00:44:16,230 RUBBER GLOVES! PUP TENT! RUBBER GLOVES! 1119 00:44:16,254 --> 00:44:18,721 PUP TENT! RUBBER GLOVES! PUP TENT! 1120 00:44:27,798 --> 00:44:33,380 CHOREOGRAPHER TONI BASIL HAD AN IDEA, AND SHE GOT TOGETHER WITH GARY WEIS. 1121 00:44:33,404 --> 00:44:36,044 AN IDEA, AND SHE GOT TOGETHER WITH GARY WEIS. HERE'S TONIGHT'S FILM. 1122 00:44:36,874 --> 00:44:39,620 HI. SHABADU? IT'S TONI. HEY, HOW ARE YOU DOING, TONI? 1123 00:44:39,644 --> 00:44:41,088 IT'S TONI. HEY, HOW ARE YOU DOING, TONI? OKAY, LISTEN, I GOT AN IDEA. 1124 00:44:41,112 --> 00:44:42,156 HEY, HOW ARE YOU DOING, TONI? OKAY, LISTEN, I GOT AN IDEA. I WANT YOU TO DANCE IN 1125 00:44:42,180 --> 00:44:42,857 OKAY, LISTEN, I GOT AN IDEA. I WANT YOU TO DANCE IN "SWAN LAKE." 1126 00:44:42,881 --> 00:44:43,891 I WANT YOU TO DANCE IN "SWAN LAKE." TONI, WE CAN'T SWIM. 1127 00:44:43,915 --> 00:44:45,026 "SWAN LAKE." TONI, WE CAN'T SWIM. SHABADU, IT'S A BALLET. 1128 00:44:45,050 --> 00:44:46,260 TONI, WE CAN'T SWIM. SHABADU, IT'S A BALLET. WHY DON'T YOU CALL THE OTHER 1129 00:44:46,284 --> 00:44:46,627 SHABADU, IT'S A BALLET. WHY DON'T YOU CALL THE OTHER GUYS? 1130 00:44:46,651 --> 00:44:47,962 WHY DON'T YOU CALL THE OTHER GUYS? THERE'S FOUR OTHER GIRLS THAT I 1131 00:44:47,986 --> 00:44:48,996 GUYS? THERE'S FOUR OTHER GIRLS THAT I WANT YOU TO DANCE WITH. 1132 00:44:49,020 --> 00:44:50,464 THERE'S FOUR OTHER GIRLS THAT I WANT YOU TO DANCE WITH. I CAN GET AHOLD OF THE OTHER 1133 00:44:50,488 --> 00:44:50,898 WANT YOU TO DANCE WITH. I CAN GET AHOLD OF THE OTHER GUYS. 1134 00:44:50,922 --> 00:44:52,199 I CAN GET AHOLD OF THE OTHER GUYS. IS THERE ANY MUSIC TO THIS? 1135 00:44:52,223 --> 00:44:53,200 GUYS. IS THERE ANY MUSIC TO THIS? OF COURSE, SHABADU. 1136 00:44:53,224 --> 00:44:54,301 IS THERE ANY MUSIC TO THIS? OF COURSE, SHABADU. IT'S A CLASSICAL BALLET. 1137 00:44:54,325 --> 00:44:55,136 OF COURSE, SHABADU. IT'S A CLASSICAL BALLET. IT'S TCHAIKOVSKY. 1138 00:44:55,160 --> 00:44:56,503 IT'S A CLASSICAL BALLET. IT'S TCHAIKOVSKY. WELL, IF IT'S MUSIC, WE CAN 1139 00:44:56,527 --> 00:44:57,171 IT'S TCHAIKOVSKY. WELL, IF IT'S MUSIC, WE CAN DANCE TO IT. 1140 00:44:57,195 --> 00:44:59,795 WELL, IF IT'S MUSIC, WE CAN DANCE TO IT. [CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYS] 1141 00:46:43,500 --> 00:46:46,881 SO, WHERE ARE WE GOING TO TAKE LUNCH? FOR GOD'S SAKE, LET'S PICK 1142 00:46:46,905 --> 00:46:48,482 TAKE LUNCH? FOR GOD'S SAKE, LET'S PICK SOMEPLACE CLOSE BY. 1143 00:46:48,506 --> 00:46:49,750 FOR GOD'S SAKE, LET'S PICK SOMEPLACE CLOSE BY. WELL, THERE'S FUJIWA. 1144 00:46:49,774 --> 00:46:50,417 SOMEPLACE CLOSE BY. WELL, THERE'S FUJIWA. NO, NO. 1145 00:46:50,441 --> 00:46:51,886 WELL, THERE'S FUJIWA. NO, NO. JAPANESE FOOD MAKES ME SWEAT. 1146 00:46:51,910 --> 00:46:53,287 NO, NO. JAPANESE FOOD MAKES ME SWEAT. HOW ABOUT THAT ITALIAN PLACE? 1147 00:46:53,311 --> 00:46:54,554 JAPANESE FOOD MAKES ME SWEAT. HOW ABOUT THAT ITALIAN PLACE? I HAD ITALIAN LAST NIGHT IF 1148 00:46:54,578 --> 00:46:55,489 HOW ABOUT THAT ITALIAN PLACE? I HAD ITALIAN LAST NIGHT IF YOU DON'T MIND... 1149 00:46:55,513 --> 00:46:56,891 I HAD ITALIAN LAST NIGHT IF YOU DON'T MIND... WHAT ABOUT THAT NEW PLACE, 1150 00:46:56,915 --> 00:46:57,858 YOU DON'T MIND... WHAT ABOUT THAT NEW PLACE, UH, TROFF 'N' BREW? 1151 00:46:57,882 --> 00:46:59,626 WHAT ABOUT THAT NEW PLACE, UH, TROFF 'N' BREW? UH, I DON'T KNOW. 1152 00:46:59,650 --> 00:47:00,961 UH, TROFF 'N' BREW? UH, I DON'T KNOW. I'VE BEEN THERE ONCE, AND IT WAS 1153 00:47:00,985 --> 00:47:01,495 UH, I DON'T KNOW. I'VE BEEN THERE ONCE, AND IT WAS ALL RIGHT. 1154 00:47:01,519 --> 00:47:02,629 I'VE BEEN THERE ONCE, AND IT WAS ALL RIGHT. COME ON, LET'S GO THERE. 1155 00:47:02,653 --> 00:47:03,297 ALL RIGHT. COME ON, LET'S GO THERE. IT'S CLOSE BY. 1156 00:47:03,321 --> 00:47:04,265 COME ON, LET'S GO THERE. IT'S CLOSE BY. THEY KNOW ME IN THERE. 1157 00:47:04,289 --> 00:47:05,532 IT'S CLOSE BY. THEY KNOW ME IN THERE. IT'S GOT GREAT LIGHTING, GREAT 1158 00:47:05,556 --> 00:47:05,900 THEY KNOW ME IN THERE. IT'S GOT GREAT LIGHTING, GREAT CHILI. 1159 00:47:05,924 --> 00:47:06,733 IT'S GOT GREAT LIGHTING, GREAT CHILI. COME ON, LET'S GO. 1160 00:47:06,757 --> 00:47:08,135 CHILI. COME ON, LET'S GO. I COULD USE SOME CHILI. 1161 00:47:08,159 --> 00:47:13,340 COME ON, LET'S GO. I COULD USE SOME CHILI. SURE, OKAY. 1162 00:47:13,364 --> 00:47:15,524 I COULD USE SOME CHILI. SURE, OKAY. YOU KNOW... 1163 00:47:23,807 --> 00:47:28,889 [GROANS] YEAH. GREAT. 1164 00:47:28,913 --> 00:47:29,656 YEAH. GREAT. YEAH. 1165 00:47:29,680 --> 00:47:31,091 GREAT. YEAH. I GOT TO GO NEXT WEEK, AND I 1166 00:47:31,115 --> 00:47:32,526 YEAH. I GOT TO GO NEXT WEEK, AND I GOT TO ENTERTAIN HERB CARP AND 1167 00:47:32,550 --> 00:47:33,994 I GOT TO GO NEXT WEEK, AND I GOT TO ENTERTAIN HERB CARP AND HIS WIFE, AND I WAS WONDERING IF 1168 00:47:34,018 --> 00:47:35,362 GOT TO ENTERTAIN HERB CARP AND HIS WIFE, AND I WAS WONDERING IF YOU COULD GET ME SOME TICKETS 1169 00:47:35,386 --> 00:47:36,697 HIS WIFE, AND I WAS WONDERING IF YOU COULD GET ME SOME TICKETS FOR THE YANKEE/RED SOX GAME. 1170 00:47:36,721 --> 00:47:37,965 YOU COULD GET ME SOME TICKETS FOR THE YANKEE/RED SOX GAME. IT MIGHT GIVE ME AN OPPORTUNITY 1171 00:47:37,989 --> 00:47:39,166 FOR THE YANKEE/RED SOX GAME. IT MIGHT GIVE ME AN OPPORTUNITY I'VE BEEN LOOKING FOR TO TAKE 1172 00:47:39,190 --> 00:47:40,434 IT MIGHT GIVE ME AN OPPORTUNITY I'VE BEEN LOOKING FOR TO TAKE HIS TEMPERATURE, SEW UP ANY OLD 1173 00:47:40,458 --> 00:47:41,535 I'VE BEEN LOOKING FOR TO TAKE HIS TEMPERATURE, SEW UP ANY OLD WOUNDS, YOU KNOW? 1174 00:47:41,559 --> 00:47:43,403 HIS TEMPERATURE, SEW UP ANY OLD WOUNDS, YOU KNOW? AW, NO PROBLEM. 1175 00:47:43,427 --> 00:47:45,072 WOUNDS, YOU KNOW? AW, NO PROBLEM. I'LL SEND A MEMO TO... TO DORIS, 1176 00:47:45,096 --> 00:47:46,140 AW, NO PROBLEM. I'LL SEND A MEMO TO... TO DORIS, AND I'LL SET IT UP. 1177 00:47:46,164 --> 00:47:47,808 I'LL SEND A MEMO TO... TO DORIS, AND I'LL SET IT UP. I'D LIKE TO HAVE HERB CARP IN MY 1178 00:47:47,832 --> 00:47:48,342 AND I'LL SET IT UP. I'D LIKE TO HAVE HERB CARP IN MY CORNER. 1179 00:47:48,366 --> 00:47:49,944 I'D LIKE TO HAVE HERB CARP IN MY CORNER. YEAH, ABSOLUTELY. 1180 00:47:49,968 --> 00:47:51,812 CORNER. YEAH, ABSOLUTELY. EVERYTHING OKAY HERE? 1181 00:47:51,836 --> 00:47:53,113 YEAH, ABSOLUTELY. EVERYTHING OKAY HERE? YEAH, IT'S GOOD. 1182 00:47:53,137 --> 00:47:55,015 EVERYTHING OKAY HERE? YEAH, IT'S GOOD. HEADS UP... MORE CHILI. 1183 00:47:55,039 --> 00:47:57,359 YEAH, IT'S GOOD. HEADS UP... MORE CHILI. [GRUNTING] 1184 00:48:01,644 --> 00:48:07,094 THIS PLACE IS REALLY NICE. WHO OWNS THESE TROFF 'N' BREWS, ANYWAY? 1185 00:48:07,118 --> 00:48:08,896 WHO OWNS THESE TROFF 'N' BREWS, ANYWAY? SOMEBODY TOLD ME IT'S ANOTHER 1186 00:48:08,920 --> 00:48:10,998 ANYWAY? SOMEBODY TOLD ME IT'S ANOTHER DINING ASSOCIATE'S CHAIN. 1187 00:48:11,022 --> 00:48:12,532 SOMEBODY TOLD ME IT'S ANOTHER DINING ASSOCIATE'S CHAIN. SIX OR SEVEN OF THEM JUST OPENED 1188 00:48:12,556 --> 00:48:15,436 DINING ASSOCIATE'S CHAIN. SIX OR SEVEN OF THEM JUST OPENED UP IN THE CITY. 1189 00:48:21,464 --> 00:48:24,745 THESE PLACES ARE ALWAYS CROWDED. IT'S GOOD CHILI. I HAVE TO BE CAREFUL NOT TO EAT 1190 00:48:24,769 --> 00:48:27,014 IT'S GOOD CHILI. I HAVE TO BE CAREFUL NOT TO EAT TOO MUCH, THOUGH. 1191 00:48:27,038 --> 00:48:27,748 I HAVE TO BE CAREFUL NOT TO EAT TOO MUCH, THOUGH. MMM... 1192 00:48:27,772 --> 00:48:30,251 TOO MUCH, THOUGH. MMM... BILL, WE HAD BETTER SEND THAT 1193 00:48:30,275 --> 00:48:31,551 MMM... BILL, WE HAD BETTER SEND THAT TELEX OUT TO DETROIT RIGHT 1194 00:48:31,575 --> 00:48:34,255 BILL, WE HAD BETTER SEND THAT TELEX OUT TO DETROIT RIGHT AFTER LUNCH. 1195 00:48:34,279 --> 00:48:35,622 TELEX OUT TO DETROIT RIGHT AFTER LUNCH. LET'S STEP OVER HERE TO THE BREW 1196 00:48:35,646 --> 00:48:36,723 AFTER LUNCH. LET'S STEP OVER HERE TO THE BREW PLACE AND WASH THIS DOWN WITH 1197 00:48:36,747 --> 00:48:37,457 LET'S STEP OVER HERE TO THE BREW PLACE AND WASH THIS DOWN WITH SOME COLD BREWSKI. 1198 00:48:37,481 --> 00:48:38,592 PLACE AND WASH THIS DOWN WITH SOME COLD BREWSKI. YEAH, I COULD SET BACK SOME 1199 00:48:38,616 --> 00:48:40,761 SOME COLD BREWSKI. YEAH, I COULD SET BACK SOME COLD BEER. 1200 00:48:40,785 --> 00:48:44,031 YEAH, I COULD SET BACK SOME COLD BEER. [INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS] 1201 00:48:44,055 --> 00:48:45,099 COLD BEER. [INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS] HEY, RAY? 1202 00:48:45,123 --> 00:48:46,267 [INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS] HEY, RAY? WHO'S PICKING UP THE TAB FOR 1203 00:48:46,291 --> 00:48:47,234 HEY, RAY? WHO'S PICKING UP THE TAB FOR THIS FEAST? 1204 00:48:47,258 --> 00:48:48,535 WHO'S PICKING UP THE TAB FOR THIS FEAST? I'LL DO IT. 1205 00:48:48,559 --> 00:48:49,603 THIS FEAST? I'LL DO IT. I'LL SIGN IT TO MY COMPANY. 1206 00:48:49,627 --> 00:48:51,738 I'LL DO IT. I'LL SIGN IT TO MY COMPANY. I'M KNOWN HERE. 1207 00:48:51,762 --> 00:48:54,408 I'LL SIGN IT TO MY COMPANY. I'M KNOWN HERE. HEY, WAITRESS! 1208 00:48:54,432 --> 00:48:56,043 I'M KNOWN HERE. HEY, WAITRESS! YES, SIR?! 1209 00:48:56,067 --> 00:48:58,545 HEY, WAITRESS! YES, SIR?! UH, I GOT A TAB, YOU KNOW, 1210 00:48:58,569 --> 00:49:00,080 YES, SIR?! UH, I GOT A TAB, YOU KNOW, RAY SWANGEN INDUSTRIES. 1211 00:49:00,104 --> 00:49:01,848 UH, I GOT A TAB, YOU KNOW, RAY SWANGEN INDUSTRIES. OH, YEAH? HOW MANY HEAD? 1212 00:49:01,872 --> 00:49:02,516 RAY SWANGEN INDUSTRIES. OH, YEAH? HOW MANY HEAD? TWO. 1213 00:49:02,540 --> 00:49:04,051 OH, YEAH? HOW MANY HEAD? TWO. TWO HEAD? ALL RIGHT. 1214 00:49:04,075 --> 00:49:06,887 TWO. TWO HEAD? ALL RIGHT. SIGN HERE. 1215 00:49:06,911 --> 00:49:07,754 TWO HEAD? ALL RIGHT. SIGN HERE. THANK YOU. 1216 00:49:07,778 --> 00:49:08,555 SIGN HERE. THANK YOU. BEAUTIFUL. 1217 00:49:08,579 --> 00:49:09,589 THANK YOU. BEAUTIFUL. THANKS A LOT, RAY. 1218 00:49:09,613 --> 00:49:10,824 BEAUTIFUL. THANKS A LOT, RAY. I'LL GET YOU NEXT WEEK. 1219 00:49:10,848 --> 00:49:12,226 THANKS A LOT, RAY. I'LL GET YOU NEXT WEEK. THE TROFF 'N' BREW IS CLOSING 1220 00:49:12,250 --> 00:49:15,529 I'LL GET YOU NEXT WEEK. THE TROFF 'N' BREW IS CLOSING FOR A ONE HALF-HOUR HOSE-DOWN. 1221 00:49:15,553 --> 00:49:18,465 THE TROFF 'N' BREW IS CLOSING FOR A ONE HALF-HOUR HOSE-DOWN. PLEASE STOP FEEDING, PAY YOUR 1222 00:49:18,489 --> 00:49:21,302 FOR A ONE HALF-HOUR HOSE-DOWN. PLEASE STOP FEEDING, PAY YOUR CHECK, AND LEAVE BY THE MAIN 1223 00:49:21,326 --> 00:49:22,702 PLEASE STOP FEEDING, PAY YOUR CHECK, AND LEAVE BY THE MAIN EXIT. 1224 00:49:22,726 --> 00:49:25,839 CHECK, AND LEAVE BY THE MAIN EXIT. PLEASE DEPOSIT YOUR BIBS IN THE 1225 00:49:25,863 --> 00:49:27,141 EXIT. PLEASE DEPOSIT YOUR BIBS IN THE BIB BIN... 1226 00:49:27,165 --> 00:49:31,545 PLEASE DEPOSIT YOUR BIBS IN THE BIB BIN... [INDISTINCT SHOUTING] 1227 00:49:31,569 --> 00:49:34,681 BIB BIN... [INDISTINCT SHOUTING] TROFF 'N' BREW IS CLOSING FOR A 1228 00:49:34,705 --> 00:49:37,745 [INDISTINCT SHOUTING] TROFF 'N' BREW IS CLOSING FOR A ONE HALF-HOUR HOSE-DOWN. 1229 00:49:48,485 --> 00:49:53,968 ATTENTION PLEASE... STUDENTS NEEDING EXTRA EXTENSION CORDS FOR THEIR SCIENCE-FAIR 1230 00:49:53,992 --> 00:49:55,702 STUDENTS NEEDING EXTRA EXTENSION CORDS FOR THEIR SCIENCE-FAIR PROJECTS, PLEASE REPORT TO THE 1231 00:49:55,726 --> 00:49:58,738 CORDS FOR THEIR SCIENCE-FAIR PROJECTS, PLEASE REPORT TO THE JUDGES' TABLE. 1232 00:49:58,762 --> 00:50:00,407 PROJECTS, PLEASE REPORT TO THE JUDGES' TABLE. I STILL THINK WE HAVE A 1233 00:50:00,431 --> 00:50:02,242 JUDGES' TABLE. I STILL THINK WE HAVE A REALLY, REALLY GOOD CHANCE OF 1234 00:50:02,266 --> 00:50:03,143 I STILL THINK WE HAVE A REALLY, REALLY GOOD CHANCE OF WINNING, TODD. 1235 00:50:03,167 --> 00:50:04,744 REALLY, REALLY GOOD CHANCE OF WINNING, TODD. I'VE LOOKED AROUND AT MOST OF 1236 00:50:04,768 --> 00:50:06,380 WINNING, TODD. I'VE LOOKED AROUND AT MOST OF THE OTHER BOOTHS, AND FRANKLY, 1237 00:50:06,404 --> 00:50:08,082 I'VE LOOKED AROUND AT MOST OF THE OTHER BOOTHS, AND FRANKLY, I'M NOT [Spitting] IMPRESSED BY 1238 00:50:08,106 --> 00:50:08,748 THE OTHER BOOTHS, AND FRANKLY, I'M NOT [Spitting] IMPRESSED BY MY PEERS. 1239 00:50:08,772 --> 00:50:10,084 I'M NOT [Spitting] IMPRESSED BY MY PEERS. YEAH, WELL, SAY IT. 1240 00:50:10,108 --> 00:50:11,485 MY PEERS. YEAH, WELL, SAY IT. DON'T SPRAY IT, HUH? 1241 00:50:11,509 --> 00:50:12,819 YEAH, WELL, SAY IT. DON'T SPRAY IT, HUH? CUT IT OUT, TODD. 1242 00:50:12,843 --> 00:50:13,954 DON'T SPRAY IT, HUH? CUT IT OUT, TODD. WELL, I CAN'T. 1243 00:50:13,978 --> 00:50:15,389 CUT IT OUT, TODD. WELL, I CAN'T. I DON'T HAVE SCISSORS. 1244 00:50:15,413 --> 00:50:17,724 WELL, I CAN'T. I DON'T HAVE SCISSORS. OH, THAT'S SO FUNNY, I FORGOT 1245 00:50:17,748 --> 00:50:19,659 I DON'T HAVE SCISSORS. OH, THAT'S SO FUNNY, I FORGOT TO LAUGH. 1246 00:50:19,683 --> 00:50:22,162 OH, THAT'S SO FUNNY, I FORGOT TO LAUGH. HEY, WHEN DO YOU THINK CHAZ 1247 00:50:22,186 --> 00:50:24,531 TO LAUGH. HEY, WHEN DO YOU THINK CHAZ THE SPAZ OVER THERE IS GONNA 1248 00:50:24,555 --> 00:50:26,566 HEY, WHEN DO YOU THINK CHAZ THE SPAZ OVER THERE IS GONNA UNVEIL HIS BIG, SECRET PROJECT? 1249 00:50:26,590 --> 00:50:28,168 THE SPAZ OVER THERE IS GONNA UNVEIL HIS BIG, SECRET PROJECT? ARE YOU REFERRING TO 1250 00:50:28,192 --> 00:50:30,437 UNVEIL HIS BIG, SECRET PROJECT? ARE YOU REFERRING TO CHARLES KNERLMAN, THE REAL 1251 00:50:30,461 --> 00:50:32,506 ARE YOU REFERRING TO CHARLES KNERLMAN, THE REAL DREAMY PRESIDENT OF THE 1252 00:50:32,530 --> 00:50:33,374 CHARLES KNERLMAN, THE REAL DREAMY PRESIDENT OF THE SCIENCE CLUB? 1253 00:50:33,398 --> 00:50:35,075 DREAMY PRESIDENT OF THE SCIENCE CLUB? YOU KNOW, HE'S THE ONLY ONE WHO 1254 00:50:35,099 --> 00:50:35,976 SCIENCE CLUB? YOU KNOW, HE'S THE ONLY ONE WHO MIGHT BEAT US. 1255 00:50:36,000 --> 00:50:37,478 YOU KNOW, HE'S THE ONLY ONE WHO MIGHT BEAT US. YOU REALLY LIKE HIM, DON'T 1256 00:50:37,502 --> 00:50:38,145 MIGHT BEAT US. YOU REALLY LIKE HIM, DON'T YOU, LISA? 1257 00:50:38,169 --> 00:50:39,980 YOU REALLY LIKE HIM, DON'T YOU, LISA? THE SPAZ AND LISA SITTING IN 1258 00:50:40,004 --> 00:50:41,848 YOU, LISA? THE SPAZ AND LISA SITTING IN A TREE, K-I-S-S-I-N-G... BLEGH! 1259 00:50:41,872 --> 00:50:43,817 THE SPAZ AND LISA SITTING IN A TREE, K-I-S-S-I-N-G... BLEGH! OH, SHUT UP, TODD! 1260 00:50:43,841 --> 00:50:45,652 A TREE, K-I-S-S-I-N-G... BLEGH! OH, SHUT UP, TODD! SHUT UP! 1261 00:50:45,676 --> 00:50:46,887 OH, SHUT UP, TODD! SHUT UP! GOD. 1262 00:50:46,911 --> 00:50:47,787 SHUT UP! GOD. Shh! 1263 00:50:47,811 --> 00:50:49,789 GOD. Shh! HI, I'M GRANT ROBINSON JR. 1264 00:50:49,813 --> 00:50:51,525 Shh! HI, I'M GRANT ROBINSON JR. FROM HARRIET TUBMAN HIGH. 1265 00:50:51,549 --> 00:50:53,227 HI, I'M GRANT ROBINSON JR. FROM HARRIET TUBMAN HIGH. MAYBE YOU NOTICED ME IN THE NEXT 1266 00:50:53,251 --> 00:50:53,760 FROM HARRIET TUBMAN HIGH. MAYBE YOU NOTICED ME IN THE NEXT BOOTH. 1267 00:50:53,784 --> 00:50:54,728 MAYBE YOU NOTICED ME IN THE NEXT BOOTH. SURE, WE DID. 1268 00:50:54,752 --> 00:50:57,398 BOOTH. SURE, WE DID. YOU'RE THE ONLY NEGRO HERE. 1269 00:50:57,422 --> 00:50:58,499 SURE, WE DID. YOU'RE THE ONLY NEGRO HERE. TODD! 1270 00:50:58,523 --> 00:51:00,000 YOU'RE THE ONLY NEGRO HERE. TODD! I-I'VE BEEN WONDERING... 1271 00:51:00,024 --> 00:51:01,601 TODD! I-I'VE BEEN WONDERING... WHAT DOES "DIALING FOR TOAST" 1272 00:51:01,625 --> 00:51:02,002 I-I'VE BEEN WONDERING... WHAT DOES "DIALING FOR TOAST" MEAN? 1273 00:51:02,026 --> 00:51:03,504 WHAT DOES "DIALING FOR TOAST" MEAN? WELL, IF YOU'RE INTERESTED IN 1274 00:51:03,528 --> 00:51:05,005 MEAN? WELL, IF YOU'RE INTERESTED IN THIS EXPERIMENT, WHAT I DID HERE 1275 00:51:05,029 --> 00:51:06,440 WELL, IF YOU'RE INTERESTED IN THIS EXPERIMENT, WHAT I DID HERE WAS TO HOOK UP A MINI COMPUTER 1276 00:51:06,464 --> 00:51:07,807 THIS EXPERIMENT, WHAT I DID HERE WAS TO HOOK UP A MINI COMPUTER INSIDE THIS TOUCH-TONE PHONE, 1277 00:51:07,831 --> 00:51:09,076 WAS TO HOOK UP A MINI COMPUTER INSIDE THIS TOUCH-TONE PHONE, HOOKED IT RIGHT UP TO THIS 1278 00:51:09,100 --> 00:51:10,310 INSIDE THIS TOUCH-TONE PHONE, HOOKED IT RIGHT UP TO THIS PUSH-BUTTON TOASTER. 1279 00:51:10,334 --> 00:51:12,679 HOOKED IT RIGHT UP TO THIS PUSH-BUTTON TOASTER. YEAH, WHAT WE DID, 1280 00:51:12,703 --> 00:51:13,380 PUSH-BUTTON TOASTER. YEAH, WHAT WE DID, PIZZA FACE! 1281 00:51:13,404 --> 00:51:15,049 YEAH, WHAT WE DID, PIZZA FACE! AND SO, DEPENDING ON HOW YOU 1282 00:51:15,073 --> 00:51:16,183 PIZZA FACE! AND SO, DEPENDING ON HOW YOU LIKE YOUR TOAST, WITH 1283 00:51:16,207 --> 00:51:17,851 AND SO, DEPENDING ON HOW YOU LIKE YOUR TOAST, WITH PUSH-BUTTON WORLD OF THE FUTURE, 1284 00:51:17,875 --> 00:51:19,486 LIKE YOUR TOAST, WITH PUSH-BUTTON WORLD OF THE FUTURE, YOU CAN EITHER DIAL PROGRAM "A," 1285 00:51:19,510 --> 00:51:21,522 PUSH-BUTTON WORLD OF THE FUTURE, YOU CAN EITHER DIAL PROGRAM "A," WHICH IS LIGHTER, OR "B," WHICH 1286 00:51:21,546 --> 00:51:22,423 YOU CAN EITHER DIAL PROGRAM "A," WHICH IS LIGHTER, OR "B," WHICH IS DARKEST. 1287 00:51:22,447 --> 00:51:23,157 WHICH IS LIGHTER, OR "B," WHICH IS DARKEST. YEAH. 1288 00:51:23,181 --> 00:51:24,958 IS DARKEST. YEAH. ♪ LET YOUR FINGERS DO THE 1289 00:51:24,982 --> 00:51:27,194 YEAH. ♪ LET YOUR FINGERS DO THE TOASTING AT THE SCIENCE FAIR ♪ 1290 00:51:27,218 --> 00:51:28,662 ♪ LET YOUR FINGERS DO THE TOASTING AT THE SCIENCE FAIR ♪ ♪ DA-DA DA-DA, DA-DA DA-DA 1291 00:51:28,686 --> 00:51:29,329 TOASTING AT THE SCIENCE FAIR ♪ ♪ DA-DA DA-DA, DA-DA DA-DA DA-DA ♪ 1292 00:51:29,353 --> 00:51:30,630 ♪ DA-DA DA-DA, DA-DA DA-DA DA-DA ♪ AH, HERE WE ARE. 1293 00:51:30,654 --> 00:51:32,232 DA-DA ♪ AH, HERE WE ARE. SO, PLEASE ACCEPT THIS FREE 1294 00:51:32,256 --> 00:51:34,034 AH, HERE WE ARE. SO, PLEASE ACCEPT THIS FREE SAMPLE OF TOAST, COMPLIMENTS OF 1295 00:51:34,058 --> 00:51:35,802 SO, PLEASE ACCEPT THIS FREE SAMPLE OF TOAST, COMPLIMENTS OF THE DIALING FOR TOAST AND YOUR 1296 00:51:35,826 --> 00:51:37,671 SAMPLE OF TOAST, COMPLIMENTS OF THE DIALING FOR TOAST AND YOUR PUSH-BUTTON WORLD OF THE FUTURE. 1297 00:51:37,695 --> 00:51:39,440 THE DIALING FOR TOAST AND YOUR PUSH-BUTTON WORLD OF THE FUTURE. AND HELP YOURSELF TO THE 1298 00:51:39,464 --> 00:51:41,442 PUSH-BUTTON WORLD OF THE FUTURE. AND HELP YOURSELF TO THE SANDWICH SPREAD OF YOUR CHOICE, 1299 00:51:41,466 --> 00:51:43,510 AND HELP YOURSELF TO THE SANDWICH SPREAD OF YOUR CHOICE, COMPLIMENTS OF US, TODD LaBOUNTA 1300 00:51:43,534 --> 00:51:44,578 SANDWICH SPREAD OF YOUR CHOICE, COMPLIMENTS OF US, TODD LaBOUNTA AND LISA LOOPNER. 1301 00:51:44,602 --> 00:51:46,380 COMPLIMENTS OF US, TODD LaBOUNTA AND LISA LOOPNER. IS IT ALL RIGHT IF I TAKE THE 1302 00:51:46,404 --> 00:51:47,781 AND LISA LOOPNER. IS IT ALL RIGHT IF I TAKE THE SPAM AND THE CHEEZ WHIZ? 1303 00:51:47,805 --> 00:51:49,749 IS IT ALL RIGHT IF I TAKE THE SPAM AND THE CHEEZ WHIZ? YEAH, BUT FIRST, GRANT, TELL 1304 00:51:49,773 --> 00:51:51,218 SPAM AND THE CHEEZ WHIZ? YEAH, BUT FIRST, GRANT, TELL US ABOUT YOUR PROJECT. 1305 00:51:51,242 --> 00:51:52,018 YEAH, BUT FIRST, GRANT, TELL US ABOUT YOUR PROJECT. OH. OH. 1306 00:51:52,042 --> 00:51:55,689 US ABOUT YOUR PROJECT. OH. OH. WELL, MY PROJECT IS CALLED... 1307 00:51:55,713 --> 00:51:58,625 OH. OH. WELL, MY PROJECT IS CALLED... UM... ELECTRICITY IN THE 20th 1308 00:51:58,649 --> 00:51:59,426 WELL, MY PROJECT IS CALLED... UM... ELECTRICITY IN THE 20th CENTURY. 1309 00:51:59,450 --> 00:52:00,260 UM... ELECTRICITY IN THE 20th CENTURY. YEAH? 1310 00:52:00,284 --> 00:52:02,429 CENTURY. YEAH? SEE, WHAT I DID WAS, I BLEW 1311 00:52:02,453 --> 00:52:04,698 YEAH? SEE, WHAT I DID WAS, I BLEW UP SOME BALLOONS, RIGHT? 1312 00:52:04,722 --> 00:52:07,267 SEE, WHAT I DID WAS, I BLEW UP SOME BALLOONS, RIGHT? AND I RUBBED THEM ON AN ORDINARY 1313 00:52:07,291 --> 00:52:08,735 UP SOME BALLOONS, RIGHT? AND I RUBBED THEM ON AN ORDINARY V-NECK SWEATER... 1314 00:52:08,759 --> 00:52:10,370 AND I RUBBED THEM ON AN ORDINARY V-NECK SWEATER... SO... 1315 00:52:10,394 --> 00:52:11,605 V-NECK SWEATER... SO... THEY... 1316 00:52:11,629 --> 00:52:14,541 SO... THEY... STUCK. 1317 00:52:14,565 --> 00:52:15,509 THEY... STUCK. HUH? 1318 00:52:15,533 --> 00:52:18,512 STUCK. HUH? I-I-I WAS... IT'S GREAT, RIGHT? 1319 00:52:18,536 --> 00:52:20,280 HUH? I-I-I WAS... IT'S GREAT, RIGHT? YEAH, GREAT GOING, GRANT. 1320 00:52:20,304 --> 00:52:22,216 I-I-I WAS... IT'S GREAT, RIGHT? YEAH, GREAT GOING, GRANT. I WAS THINKING OF CALLING IT 1321 00:52:22,240 --> 00:52:24,151 YEAH, GREAT GOING, GRANT. I WAS THINKING OF CALLING IT "FUN WITH FRICTION." 1322 00:52:24,175 --> 00:52:24,951 I WAS THINKING OF CALLING IT "FUN WITH FRICTION." [LAUGHS] 1323 00:52:24,975 --> 00:52:26,186 "FUN WITH FRICTION." [LAUGHS] "FUN WITH FRICTION"? 1324 00:52:26,210 --> 00:52:27,821 [LAUGHS] "FUN WITH FRICTION"? MISS LOOPNER, I SEEM TO RECALL A 1325 00:52:27,845 --> 00:52:29,123 "FUN WITH FRICTION"? MISS LOOPNER, I SEEM TO RECALL A LITTLE FUN WITH FRICTION 1326 00:52:29,147 --> 00:52:30,657 MISS LOOPNER, I SEEM TO RECALL A LITTLE FUN WITH FRICTION EXPERIMENT IN YOUR REC ROOM ON 1327 00:52:30,681 --> 00:52:31,291 LITTLE FUN WITH FRICTION EXPERIMENT IN YOUR REC ROOM ON THURSDAY. 1328 00:52:31,315 --> 00:52:32,826 EXPERIMENT IN YOUR REC ROOM ON THURSDAY. YEAH, WELL, IF YOU WANT THE 1329 00:52:32,850 --> 00:52:33,893 THURSDAY. YEAH, WELL, IF YOU WANT THE WORLD TO KNOW, WHY DON'T YOU 1330 00:52:33,917 --> 00:52:36,497 YEAH, WELL, IF YOU WANT THE WORLD TO KNOW, WHY DON'T YOU PUBLISH IT IN THE NEWSPAPER? 1331 00:52:36,521 --> 00:52:38,232 WORLD TO KNOW, WHY DON'T YOU PUBLISH IT IN THE NEWSPAPER? THAT WAS UNCALLED FOR. 1332 00:52:38,256 --> 00:52:39,866 PUBLISH IT IN THE NEWSPAPER? THAT WAS UNCALLED FOR. OH, BY THE WAY, LISA, I FORGOT. 1333 00:52:39,890 --> 00:52:41,235 THAT WAS UNCALLED FOR. OH, BY THE WAY, LISA, I FORGOT. YOU WANTED SOME LAND FOR A 1334 00:52:41,259 --> 00:52:41,968 OH, BY THE WAY, LISA, I FORGOT. YOU WANTED SOME LAND FOR A PLAYGROUND? 1335 00:52:41,992 --> 00:52:43,003 YOU WANTED SOME LAND FOR A PLAYGROUND? HERE'S A COUPLE OF ACRES. 1336 00:52:43,027 --> 00:52:43,403 PLAYGROUND? HERE'S A COUPLE OF ACRES. OW! 1337 00:52:43,427 --> 00:52:44,505 HERE'S A COUPLE OF ACRES. OW! AAH! 1338 00:52:44,529 --> 00:52:45,839 OW! AAH! AND I BELIEVE THESE ARE THE 1339 00:52:45,863 --> 00:52:47,241 AAH! AND I BELIEVE THESE ARE THE NOOGIES THAT YOU REQUESTED A 1340 00:52:47,265 --> 00:52:48,242 AND I BELIEVE THESE ARE THE NOOGIES THAT YOU REQUESTED A LITTLE BIT EARLIER. 1341 00:52:48,266 --> 00:52:50,144 NOOGIES THAT YOU REQUESTED A LITTLE BIT EARLIER. STOP IT, TODD! 1342 00:52:50,168 --> 00:52:51,645 LITTLE BIT EARLIER. STOP IT, TODD! YOU'RE NOT FUNNY, TODD. 1343 00:52:51,669 --> 00:52:53,380 STOP IT, TODD! YOU'RE NOT FUNNY, TODD. YOU KNOW WHAT YOU COULD USE? 1344 00:52:53,404 --> 00:52:55,081 YOU'RE NOT FUNNY, TODD. YOU KNOW WHAT YOU COULD USE? A CHECKUP FROM THE NECK UP. 1345 00:52:55,105 --> 00:52:56,916 YOU KNOW WHAT YOU COULD USE? A CHECKUP FROM THE NECK UP. BOOP! 1346 00:52:56,940 --> 00:52:58,185 A CHECKUP FROM THE NECK UP. BOOP! HI, LISA. 1347 00:52:58,209 --> 00:53:00,086 BOOP! HI, LISA. OOH. HI, CHARLES. 1348 00:53:00,110 --> 00:53:03,390 HI, LISA. OOH. HI, CHARLES. OH, NO. CHAZ THE SPAZ. 1349 00:53:03,414 --> 00:53:06,059 OOH. HI, CHARLES. OH, NO. CHAZ THE SPAZ. HOW'S IT HANGING, PIZZA FACE? 1350 00:53:06,083 --> 00:53:08,928 OH, NO. CHAZ THE SPAZ. HOW'S IT HANGING, PIZZA FACE? OH, HELLO, SPAZALOPOLIS. 1351 00:53:08,952 --> 00:53:10,364 HOW'S IT HANGING, PIZZA FACE? OH, HELLO, SPAZALOPOLIS. YOU FINALLY GOT THE NERVE TO 1352 00:53:10,388 --> 00:53:11,898 OH, HELLO, SPAZALOPOLIS. YOU FINALLY GOT THE NERVE TO CHECK OUT THE COMPETITION, HUH? 1353 00:53:11,922 --> 00:53:13,167 YOU FINALLY GOT THE NERVE TO CHECK OUT THE COMPETITION, HUH? YEAH, I'M REALLY WORRIED 1354 00:53:13,191 --> 00:53:16,603 CHECK OUT THE COMPETITION, HUH? YEAH, I'M REALLY WORRIED ABOUT DIALING FOR TOAST... NOT. 1355 00:53:16,627 --> 00:53:18,272 YEAH, I'M REALLY WORRIED ABOUT DIALING FOR TOAST... NOT. NO OFFENSE, LISA, BUT YOUR 1356 00:53:18,296 --> 00:53:20,274 ABOUT DIALING FOR TOAST... NOT. NO OFFENSE, LISA, BUT YOUR SCIENCE PROJECT LEAVES SOMETHING 1357 00:53:20,298 --> 00:53:21,908 NO OFFENSE, LISA, BUT YOUR SCIENCE PROJECT LEAVES SOMETHING TO BE DESIRED, MAINLY A 1358 00:53:21,932 --> 00:53:22,776 SCIENCE PROJECT LEAVES SOMETHING TO BE DESIRED, MAINLY A PARTNER... 1359 00:53:22,800 --> 00:53:24,178 TO BE DESIRED, MAINLY A PARTNER... ME. 1360 00:53:24,202 --> 00:53:25,745 PARTNER... ME. WELL, WHAT'S YOUR PROJECT, 1361 00:53:25,769 --> 00:53:26,746 ME. WELL, WHAT'S YOUR PROJECT, CHARLES? 1362 00:53:26,770 --> 00:53:29,049 WELL, WHAT'S YOUR PROJECT, CHARLES? WELL, NOTHING SPECIAL. 1363 00:53:29,073 --> 00:53:31,785 CHARLES? WELL, NOTHING SPECIAL. I JUST PUT TOGETHER A PLUTONIUM 1364 00:53:31,809 --> 00:53:34,020 WELL, NOTHING SPECIAL. I JUST PUT TOGETHER A PLUTONIUM BOMB. 1365 00:53:34,044 --> 00:53:34,721 I JUST PUT TOGETHER A PLUTONIUM BOMB. THAT'S ALL. 1366 00:53:34,745 --> 00:53:36,256 BOMB. THAT'S ALL. I WANTED YOU TO BE THE FIRST TO 1367 00:53:36,280 --> 00:53:36,956 THAT'S ALL. I WANTED YOU TO BE THE FIRST TO KNOW. 1368 00:53:36,980 --> 00:53:39,759 I WANTED YOU TO BE THE FIRST TO KNOW. OH. 1369 00:53:39,783 --> 00:53:41,195 KNOW. OH. VOILà! 1370 00:53:41,219 --> 00:53:42,162 OH. VOILà! [GASPS] 1371 00:53:42,186 --> 00:53:44,464 VOILà! [GASPS] NEAT-O-ROONEY, CHARLES! 1372 00:53:44,488 --> 00:53:45,399 [GASPS] NEAT-O-ROONEY, CHARLES! OOH, LUCKY. 1373 00:53:45,423 --> 00:53:47,000 NEAT-O-ROONEY, CHARLES! OOH, LUCKY. HOW'D YOU GET THE PLUTONIUM? 1374 00:53:47,024 --> 00:53:49,836 OOH, LUCKY. HOW'D YOU GET THE PLUTONIUM? NONE OF YOUR BEESWAX. 1375 00:53:49,860 --> 00:53:50,970 HOW'D YOU GET THE PLUTONIUM? NONE OF YOUR BEESWAX. WELL, IF I HAD PLUTONIUM, I 1376 00:53:50,994 --> 00:53:52,072 NONE OF YOUR BEESWAX. WELL, IF I HAD PLUTONIUM, I COULD HAVE MADE THIS BOMB IN 1377 00:53:52,096 --> 00:53:53,507 WELL, IF I HAD PLUTONIUM, I COULD HAVE MADE THIS BOMB IN ABOUT FIVE SECONDS. 1378 00:53:53,531 --> 00:53:55,108 COULD HAVE MADE THIS BOMB IN ABOUT FIVE SECONDS. OH, LIAR, LIAR, PANTS ON 1379 00:53:55,132 --> 00:53:55,676 ABOUT FIVE SECONDS. OH, LIAR, LIAR, PANTS ON FIRE! 1380 00:53:55,700 --> 00:53:57,711 OH, LIAR, LIAR, PANTS ON FIRE! GUESS WHAT ELSE IS ON FIRE... 1381 00:53:57,735 --> 00:53:58,345 FIRE! GUESS WHAT ELSE IS ON FIRE... YOUR SHIRT! 1382 00:53:58,369 --> 00:53:59,779 GUESS WHAT ELSE IS ON FIRE... YOUR SHIRT! OH, NOW IT'S OUT. NOW IT'S OUT. 1383 00:53:59,803 --> 00:54:01,815 YOUR SHIRT! OH, NOW IT'S OUT. NOW IT'S OUT. UH-OH! TICKLE MACHINE OUT OF 1384 00:54:01,839 --> 00:54:02,716 OH, NOW IT'S OUT. NOW IT'S OUT. UH-OH! TICKLE MACHINE OUT OF CONTROL! 1385 00:54:02,740 --> 00:54:05,252 UH-OH! TICKLE MACHINE OUT OF CONTROL! ACT YOUR... ACT YOUR AGE, NOT 1386 00:54:05,276 --> 00:54:08,255 CONTROL! ACT YOUR... ACT YOUR AGE, NOT YOUR SHOE SIZE. 1387 00:54:08,279 --> 00:54:09,889 ACT YOUR... ACT YOUR AGE, NOT YOUR SHOE SIZE. I THINK I FEEL LIKE SOME 1388 00:54:09,913 --> 00:54:13,827 YOUR SHOE SIZE. I THINK I FEEL LIKE SOME TOAST. 1389 00:54:13,851 --> 00:54:16,396 I THINK I FEEL LIKE SOME TOAST. YES, UH, UH, TOAST OPERATOR? 1390 00:54:16,420 --> 00:54:17,431 TOAST. YES, UH, UH, TOAST OPERATOR? YEAH, THIS IS TODD LaBOUNTA. 1391 00:54:17,455 --> 00:54:18,498 YES, UH, UH, TOAST OPERATOR? YEAH, THIS IS TODD LaBOUNTA. CAN YOU GET ME SOME LIGHTER, 1392 00:54:18,522 --> 00:54:19,099 YEAH, THIS IS TODD LaBOUNTA. CAN YOU GET ME SOME LIGHTER, PLEASE? 1393 00:54:19,123 --> 00:54:20,734 CAN YOU GET ME SOME LIGHTER, PLEASE? YEAH, MR. LaBOUNTA IS HOLDING. 1394 00:54:20,758 --> 00:54:22,068 PLEASE? YEAH, MR. LaBOUNTA IS HOLDING. MOM! 1395 00:54:22,092 --> 00:54:23,503 YEAH, MR. LaBOUNTA IS HOLDING. MOM! HEY, KIDS! 1396 00:54:23,527 --> 00:54:24,771 MOM! HEY, KIDS! Together: HELLO, 1397 00:54:24,795 --> 00:54:26,373 HEY, KIDS! Together: HELLO, MRS. LOOPNER. 1398 00:54:26,397 --> 00:54:29,343 Together: HELLO, MRS. LOOPNER. OH, KIDS, YOUR BOOTH IS 1399 00:54:29,367 --> 00:54:31,545 MRS. LOOPNER. OH, KIDS, YOUR BOOTH IS LOVELY! 1400 00:54:31,569 --> 00:54:33,913 OH, KIDS, YOUR BOOTH IS LOVELY! YOURS, TOO, CHARLES. 1401 00:54:33,937 --> 00:54:35,482 LOVELY! YOURS, TOO, CHARLES. NOW, I DON'T WANT TO INTRUDE. 1402 00:54:35,506 --> 00:54:37,150 YOURS, TOO, CHARLES. NOW, I DON'T WANT TO INTRUDE. I JUST WANTED TO BRING YOU SOME 1403 00:54:37,174 --> 00:54:37,851 NOW, I DON'T WANT TO INTRUDE. I JUST WANTED TO BRING YOU SOME LUNCH. 1404 00:54:37,875 --> 00:54:39,819 I JUST WANTED TO BRING YOU SOME LUNCH. OH, WAIT. LET ME GUESS. 1405 00:54:39,843 --> 00:54:41,921 LUNCH. OH, WAIT. LET ME GUESS. COULD THIS BE MRS. LOOPNER'S 1406 00:54:41,945 --> 00:54:43,690 OH, WAIT. LET ME GUESS. COULD THIS BE MRS. LOOPNER'S WORLD-FAMOUS EGG SALAD? 1407 00:54:43,714 --> 00:54:46,426 COULD THIS BE MRS. LOOPNER'S WORLD-FAMOUS EGG SALAD? OH, YOU KNOW ME TOO WELL, 1408 00:54:46,450 --> 00:54:48,695 WORLD-FAMOUS EGG SALAD? OH, YOU KNOW ME TOO WELL, TODD. 1409 00:54:48,719 --> 00:54:50,830 OH, YOU KNOW ME TOO WELL, TODD. NOW, EGG SALAD OPEN-FACED. 1410 00:54:50,854 --> 00:54:52,633 TODD. NOW, EGG SALAD OPEN-FACED. EGG-SALAD SANDWICHES FOR 1411 00:54:52,657 --> 00:54:53,567 NOW, EGG SALAD OPEN-FACED. EGG-SALAD SANDWICHES FOR EVERYBODY. 1412 00:54:53,591 --> 00:54:55,001 EGG-SALAD SANDWICHES FOR EVERYBODY. Together: THANK YOU, 1413 00:54:55,025 --> 00:54:56,903 EVERYBODY. Together: THANK YOU, MRS. LOOPNER. 1414 00:54:56,927 --> 00:54:59,906 Together: THANK YOU, MRS. LOOPNER. MRS. LUPLER... LOOPNER? 1415 00:54:59,930 --> 00:55:01,074 MRS. LOOPNER. MRS. LUPLER... LOOPNER? DO YOU MIND IF WE MAKE ANOTHER 1416 00:55:01,098 --> 00:55:01,708 MRS. LUPLER... LOOPNER? DO YOU MIND IF WE MAKE ANOTHER SANDWICH? 1417 00:55:01,732 --> 00:55:02,576 DO YOU MIND IF WE MAKE ANOTHER SANDWICH? SURE, TODD. 1418 00:55:02,600 --> 00:55:04,010 SANDWICH? SURE, TODD. THESE ARE TO BE EATEN. 1419 00:55:04,034 --> 00:55:05,245 SURE, TODD. THESE ARE TO BE EATEN. OH, WELL, OKAY. 1420 00:55:05,269 --> 00:55:07,281 THESE ARE TO BE EATEN. OH, WELL, OKAY. SANDWICH! 1421 00:55:07,305 --> 00:55:09,465 OH, WELL, OKAY. SANDWICH! LISA'S IN A SANDWICH! 1422 00:55:22,352 --> 00:55:26,199 NOW, ONCE AGAIN, DIRECTLY FROM DON KIRSHNER'S "ROCK CONCERT," 1423 00:55:26,223 --> 00:55:28,234 FROM DON KIRSHNER'S "ROCK CONCERT," THE BLUES BROTHERS. 1424 00:55:28,258 --> 00:55:30,378 "ROCK CONCERT," THE BLUES BROTHERS. [BLUES MUSIC PLAYS] 1425 00:55:43,840 --> 00:55:48,455 ♪ SICK AND TIRED BY THE WAY YOU DO ♪ ♪ IN GOOD TIME, PAPA'S GONNA 1426 00:55:48,479 --> 00:55:50,657 YOU DO ♪ ♪ IN GOOD TIME, PAPA'S GONNA POISON YOU ♪ 1427 00:55:50,681 --> 00:55:51,658 ♪ IN GOOD TIME, PAPA'S GONNA POISON YOU ♪ ♪ SPRINKLE GOOFER DUST ALL 1428 00:55:51,682 --> 00:55:54,260 POISON YOU ♪ ♪ SPRINKLE GOOFER DUST ALL AROUND YOUR BED ♪ 1429 00:55:54,284 --> 00:55:55,295 ♪ SPRINKLE GOOFER DUST ALL AROUND YOUR BED ♪ ♪ WAKE UP ONE OF THESE DAYS, 1430 00:55:55,319 --> 00:55:56,830 AROUND YOUR BED ♪ ♪ WAKE UP ONE OF THESE DAYS, FIND YOUR OWN SELF DEAD ♪ 1431 00:55:56,854 --> 00:55:58,164 ♪ WAKE UP ONE OF THESE DAYS, FIND YOUR OWN SELF DEAD ♪ ♪ SHE SAID, "YOU SHOULDN'T SAY 1432 00:55:58,188 --> 00:55:59,466 FIND YOUR OWN SELF DEAD ♪ ♪ SHE SAID, "YOU SHOULDN'T SAY THAT" ♪ 1433 00:55:59,490 --> 00:56:01,668 ♪ SHE SAID, "YOU SHOULDN'T SAY THAT" ♪ ♪ I SAID, "WELL, WHAT DID I SAY 1434 00:56:01,692 --> 00:56:05,605 THAT" ♪ ♪ I SAID, "WELL, WHAT DID I SAY THIS TIME, BABY?" ♪ 1435 00:56:05,629 --> 00:56:07,874 ♪ I SAID, "WELL, WHAT DID I SAY THIS TIME, BABY?" ♪ ♪ SHE SAID, "MNH... 1436 00:56:07,898 --> 00:56:10,076 THIS TIME, BABY?" ♪ ♪ SHE SAID, "MNH... I DON'T KNOW ♪ 1437 00:56:10,100 --> 00:56:14,614 ♪ SHE SAID, "MNH... I DON'T KNOW ♪ ♪ MY, OH, MY, OH, MY" ♪ 1438 00:56:14,638 --> 00:56:16,916 I DON'T KNOW ♪ ♪ MY, OH, MY, OH, MY" ♪ ♪ SHE SAID, "I DON'T KNOW ♪ 1439 00:56:16,940 --> 00:56:22,322 ♪ MY, OH, MY, OH, MY" ♪ ♪ SHE SAID, "I DON'T KNOW ♪ ♪ WHAT MY BABY'S PUTTIN' DOWN" ♪ 1440 00:56:22,346 --> 00:56:23,824 ♪ SHE SAID, "I DON'T KNOW ♪ ♪ WHAT MY BABY'S PUTTIN' DOWN" ♪ ♪ THE WOMAN I LOVE, SHE GOT 1441 00:56:23,848 --> 00:56:25,892 ♪ WHAT MY BABY'S PUTTIN' DOWN" ♪ ♪ THE WOMAN I LOVE, SHE GOT DEVIL IN HER JAW ♪ 1442 00:56:25,916 --> 00:56:26,993 ♪ THE WOMAN I LOVE, SHE GOT DEVIL IN HER JAW ♪ ♪ THE CLOTHES SHE WEARING, MADE 1443 00:56:27,017 --> 00:56:29,195 DEVIL IN HER JAW ♪ ♪ THE CLOTHES SHE WEARING, MADE OUT OF THE BEST OF CLOTH ♪ 1444 00:56:29,219 --> 00:56:30,630 ♪ THE CLOTHES SHE WEARING, MADE OUT OF THE BEST OF CLOTH ♪ ♪ SHE CAN TAKE 'EM AND WASH 'EM 1445 00:56:30,654 --> 00:56:32,566 OUT OF THE BEST OF CLOTH ♪ ♪ SHE CAN TAKE 'EM AND WASH 'EM AND HANG 'EM UP BESIDE A WALL ♪ 1446 00:56:32,590 --> 00:56:33,633 ♪ SHE CAN TAKE 'EM AND WASH 'EM AND HANG 'EM UP BESIDE A WALL ♪ ♪ SHE CAN THROW 'EM OUT THE 1447 00:56:33,657 --> 00:56:34,634 AND HANG 'EM UP BESIDE A WALL ♪ ♪ SHE CAN THROW 'EM OUT THE WINDOW, PICK 'EM UP A LITTLE BIT 1448 00:56:34,658 --> 00:56:36,069 ♪ SHE CAN THROW 'EM OUT THE WINDOW, PICK 'EM UP A LITTLE BIT BEFORE THEY FALL ♪ 1449 00:56:36,093 --> 00:56:38,037 WINDOW, PICK 'EM UP A LITTLE BIT BEFORE THEY FALL ♪ ♪ SOMETIMES I THINK YOU GOT YOUR 1450 00:56:38,061 --> 00:56:39,406 BEFORE THEY FALL ♪ ♪ SOMETIMES I THINK YOU GOT YOUR HABITS ON ♪ 1451 00:56:39,430 --> 00:56:40,540 ♪ SOMETIMES I THINK YOU GOT YOUR HABITS ON ♪ ♪ SHE SAID, "YOU SHOULDN'T SAY 1452 00:56:40,564 --> 00:56:41,575 HABITS ON ♪ ♪ SHE SAID, "YOU SHOULDN'T SAY THAT" ♪ 1453 00:56:41,599 --> 00:56:45,579 ♪ SHE SAID, "YOU SHOULDN'T SAY THAT" ♪ ♪ I SAID, "WELL... ♪ 1454 00:56:45,603 --> 00:56:47,981 THAT" ♪ ♪ I SAID, "WELL... ♪ ♪ WHAT DID I SAY TO MAKE YOU MAD 1455 00:56:48,005 --> 00:56:54,354 ♪ I SAID, "WELL... ♪ ♪ WHAT DID I SAY TO MAKE YOU MAD THIS TIME, BAAAAAAAAABY?" ♪ 1456 00:56:54,378 --> 00:56:56,757 ♪ WHAT DID I SAY TO MAKE YOU MAD THIS TIME, BAAAAAAAAABY?" ♪ ♪ SHE SAID, "MNH... 1457 00:56:56,781 --> 00:56:58,958 THIS TIME, BAAAAAAAAABY?" ♪ ♪ SHE SAID, "MNH... I DON'T KNOW ♪ 1458 00:56:58,982 --> 00:57:03,162 ♪ SHE SAID, "MNH... I DON'T KNOW ♪ ♪ MY, OH, MY, OH, MY" ♪ 1459 00:57:03,186 --> 00:57:05,965 I DON'T KNOW ♪ ♪ MY, OH, MY, OH, MY" ♪ ♪ SHE SAID, "I DON'T KNOW ♪ 1460 00:57:05,989 --> 00:57:08,001 ♪ MY, OH, MY, OH, MY" ♪ ♪ SHE SAID, "I DON'T KNOW ♪ ♪ WHAT MY BABY'S PUTTIN' DOWN" ♪ 1461 00:57:08,025 --> 00:57:10,825 ♪ SHE SAID, "I DON'T KNOW ♪ ♪ WHAT MY BABY'S PUTTIN' DOWN" ♪ ♪ AAAHHHH ♪ 1462 00:57:38,154 --> 00:57:43,804 ♪ WELL, MY PAPA TOLD ME ♪ ♪ MY MAMA SAT DOWN AND CRIED ♪ ♪ SHE SAID, "YOU'RE TOO DARN MAD 1463 00:57:43,828 --> 00:57:44,838 ♪ MY MAMA SAT DOWN AND CRIED ♪ ♪ SHE SAID, "YOU'RE TOO DARN MAD TO HAVE MANY WOMEN, YOU'LL 1464 00:57:44,862 --> 00:57:45,906 ♪ SHE SAID, "YOU'RE TOO DARN MAD TO HAVE MANY WOMEN, YOU'LL DIE" ♪ 1465 00:57:45,930 --> 00:57:47,173 TO HAVE MANY WOMEN, YOU'LL DIE" ♪ ♪ I LOOKED AT MY MOTHER, DEAR, 1466 00:57:47,197 --> 00:57:49,275 DIE" ♪ ♪ I LOOKED AT MY MOTHER, DEAR, I DIDN'T EVEN CRACK A SMILE ♪ 1467 00:57:49,299 --> 00:57:50,977 ♪ I LOOKED AT MY MOTHER, DEAR, I DIDN'T EVEN CRACK A SMILE ♪ ♪ SAID, "IF WOMEN KILL ME, I 1468 00:57:51,001 --> 00:57:53,012 I DIDN'T EVEN CRACK A SMILE ♪ ♪ SAID, "IF WOMEN KILL ME, I DON'T MIND DYING" ♪ 1469 00:57:53,036 --> 00:57:54,915 ♪ SAID, "IF WOMEN KILL ME, I DON'T MIND DYING" ♪ ♪ THE WOMAN I LOVE, I WANTED THE 1470 00:57:54,939 --> 00:57:56,616 DON'T MIND DYING" ♪ ♪ THE WOMAN I LOVE, I WANTED THE WEEK BEFORE LAST ♪ 1471 00:57:56,640 --> 00:57:58,552 ♪ THE WOMAN I LOVE, I WANTED THE WEEK BEFORE LAST ♪ ♪ THE WOMAN I LOVE, I GOT OUT OF 1472 00:57:58,576 --> 00:58:00,086 WEEK BEFORE LAST ♪ ♪ THE WOMAN I LOVE, I GOT OUT OF CLASS ♪ 1473 00:58:00,110 --> 00:58:01,588 ♪ THE WOMAN I LOVE, I GOT OUT OF CLASS ♪ ♪ I THOUGHT I WARNED YOU BABY A 1474 00:58:01,612 --> 00:58:03,457 CLASS ♪ ♪ I THOUGHT I WARNED YOU BABY A LONG TIME AGO ♪ 1475 00:58:03,481 --> 00:58:04,558 ♪ I THOUGHT I WARNED YOU BABY A LONG TIME AGO ♪ ♪ IF YOU DON'T WATCH YOUR STEP, 1476 00:58:04,582 --> 00:58:05,792 LONG TIME AGO ♪ ♪ IF YOU DON'T WATCH YOUR STEP, I'M GOING TO HAVE TO LET YOU 1477 00:58:05,816 --> 00:58:06,259 ♪ IF YOU DON'T WATCH YOUR STEP, I'M GOING TO HAVE TO LET YOU GO ♪ 1478 00:58:06,283 --> 00:58:07,627 I'M GOING TO HAVE TO LET YOU GO ♪ ♪ SHE SAID, "YOU SHOULDN'T SAY 1479 00:58:07,651 --> 00:58:09,062 GO ♪ ♪ SHE SAID, "YOU SHOULDN'T SAY THAT" ♪ 1480 00:58:09,086 --> 00:58:11,965 ♪ SHE SAID, "YOU SHOULDN'T SAY THAT" ♪ ♪ I SAID, "WELL, BABY, YOU KNOW 1481 00:58:11,989 --> 00:58:13,032 THAT" ♪ ♪ I SAID, "WELL, BABY, YOU KNOW WHEN YOU BEND OVER, I SEE EVERY 1482 00:58:13,056 --> 00:58:14,200 ♪ I SAID, "WELL, BABY, YOU KNOW WHEN YOU BEND OVER, I SEE EVERY BIT OF CHRISTMAS, AND WHEN YOU 1483 00:58:14,224 --> 00:58:15,401 WHEN YOU BEND OVER, I SEE EVERY BIT OF CHRISTMAS, AND WHEN YOU BEND BACK, I'M LOOKING RIGHT 1484 00:58:15,425 --> 00:58:17,471 BIT OF CHRISTMAS, AND WHEN YOU BEND BACK, I'M LOOKING RIGHT INTO THE NEW YEAR" ♪ 1485 00:58:17,495 --> 00:58:19,372 BEND BACK, I'M LOOKING RIGHT INTO THE NEW YEAR" ♪ ♪ WELL, SHE SAID, "HONEY... 1486 00:58:19,396 --> 00:58:21,508 INTO THE NEW YEAR" ♪ ♪ WELL, SHE SAID, "HONEY... HONEY, I GAVE UP CIGARETTES FOR 1487 00:58:21,532 --> 00:58:23,643 ♪ WELL, SHE SAID, "HONEY... HONEY, I GAVE UP CIGARETTES FOR MY NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTION ♪ 1488 00:58:23,667 --> 00:58:25,345 HONEY, I GAVE UP CIGARETTES FOR MY NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTION ♪ ♪ BUT I DIDN'T GIVE UP 1489 00:58:25,369 --> 00:58:27,380 MY NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTION ♪ ♪ BUT I DIDN'T GIVE UP SMOKING" ♪ 1490 00:58:27,404 --> 00:58:31,585 ♪ BUT I DIDN'T GIVE UP SMOKING" ♪ ♪ I SAID, "WOMAN... 1491 00:58:31,609 --> 00:58:33,319 SMOKING" ♪ ♪ I SAID, "WOMAN... ARE YOU GONNA WALK A MILE FOR A 1492 00:58:33,343 --> 00:58:35,421 ♪ I SAID, "WOMAN... ARE YOU GONNA WALK A MILE FOR A CAMEL? ♪ 1493 00:58:35,445 --> 00:58:36,356 ARE YOU GONNA WALK A MILE FOR A CAMEL? ♪ ♪ OR ARE YOU GOING TO MAKE LIKE 1494 00:58:36,380 --> 00:58:39,526 CAMEL? ♪ ♪ OR ARE YOU GOING TO MAKE LIKE MR. CHESTERFIELD AND SATISFY?" ♪ 1495 00:58:39,550 --> 00:58:41,361 ♪ OR ARE YOU GOING TO MAKE LIKE MR. CHESTERFIELD AND SATISFY?" ♪ ♪ AND SHE SAID, "THAT ALL 1496 00:58:41,385 --> 00:58:42,829 MR. CHESTERFIELD AND SATISFY?" ♪ ♪ AND SHE SAID, "THAT ALL DEPENDS ON WHAT YOUR PACKIN'... 1497 00:58:42,853 --> 00:58:45,098 ♪ AND SHE SAID, "THAT ALL DEPENDS ON WHAT YOUR PACKIN'... REGULAR OR KING-SIZE" ♪ 1498 00:58:45,122 --> 00:58:46,833 DEPENDS ON WHAT YOUR PACKIN'... REGULAR OR KING-SIZE" ♪ [CHEERS] 1499 00:58:46,857 --> 00:58:48,935 REGULAR OR KING-SIZE" ♪ [CHEERS] ♪ I SAID, "WELL, NOW, BABY... 1500 00:58:48,959 --> 00:58:50,670 [CHEERS] ♪ I SAID, "WELL, NOW, BABY... NOW WHAT YOU GOT TO SAY, 1501 00:58:50,694 --> 00:58:53,373 ♪ I SAID, "WELL, NOW, BABY... NOW WHAT YOU GOT TO SAY, BAAAAAAAA-BY?" ♪ 1502 00:58:53,397 --> 00:58:57,677 NOW WHAT YOU GOT TO SAY, BAAAAAAAA-BY?" ♪ ♪ SHE SAID, "MMMMMMNH... ♪ 1503 00:58:57,701 --> 00:58:59,846 BAAAAAAAA-BY?" ♪ ♪ SHE SAID, "MMMMMMNH... ♪ ♪ I DON'T KNOW ♪ 1504 00:58:59,870 --> 00:59:03,950 ♪ SHE SAID, "MMMMMMNH... ♪ ♪ I DON'T KNOW ♪ ♪ OH, MY, OH, MY" ♪ 1505 00:59:03,974 --> 00:59:06,419 ♪ I DON'T KNOW ♪ ♪ OH, MY, OH, MY" ♪ ♪ SHE SAID, "I DON'T... ♪ 1506 00:59:06,443 --> 00:59:10,724 ♪ OH, MY, OH, MY" ♪ ♪ SHE SAID, "I DON'T... ♪ ♪ MY, OH, MY, OH, MY-Y-Y" ♪ 1507 00:59:10,748 --> 00:59:13,326 ♪ SHE SAID, "I DON'T... ♪ ♪ MY, OH, MY, OH, MY-Y-Y" ♪ ♪ SHE SAID, "I DON'T KNOW ♪ 1508 00:59:13,350 --> 00:59:16,790 ♪ MY, OH, MY, OH, MY-Y-Y" ♪ ♪ SHE SAID, "I DON'T KNOW ♪ ♪ WHAT MY BABY'S PUTTING DOWN" ♪ 1509 00:59:19,022 --> 00:59:21,189 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 1510 00:59:46,849 --> 00:59:48,149 GOOD EVENING, AND WELCOME 1511 00:59:48,284 --> 00:59:48,917 ONCE AGAIN TO 1512 00:59:49,052 --> 00:59:50,292 "NEXT WEEK IN REVIEW," THE SHOW 1513 00:59:50,352 --> 00:59:51,552 THAT BELIEVES THAT ANY NEWS IS 1514 00:59:51,654 --> 00:59:52,654 OLD NEWS IF IT'S ALREADY 1515 00:59:52,722 --> 00:59:53,882 HAPPENED AND DARES TO PREDICT 1516 00:59:53,957 --> 00:59:55,037 WHAT'S GOING TO HAPPEN NEXT 1517 00:59:55,124 --> 00:59:56,124 WEEK. 1518 00:59:56,258 --> 01:00:00,840 WELL, PSYCHICS, YOU DID SUPERBLY AGAIN LAST WEEK. YOU BATTED 1.000 ONCE MORE. 1519 01:00:00,864 --> 01:00:02,141 SUPERBLY AGAIN LAST WEEK. YOU BATTED 1.000 ONCE MORE. MITZI, YOU PREDICTED THAT THE 1520 01:00:02,165 --> 01:00:03,376 YOU BATTED 1.000 ONCE MORE. MITZI, YOU PREDICTED THAT THE PANAMA CANAL TREATY WOULD BE 1521 01:00:03,400 --> 01:00:05,645 MITZI, YOU PREDICTED THAT THE PANAMA CANAL TREATY WOULD BE APPROVED BY A 68-32 VOTE. 1522 01:00:05,669 --> 01:00:06,913 PANAMA CANAL TREATY WOULD BE APPROVED BY A 68-32 VOTE. UH, COCUWA, YOU WERE RIGHT WHEN 1523 01:00:06,937 --> 01:00:07,747 APPROVED BY A 68-32 VOTE. UH, COCUWA, YOU WERE RIGHT WHEN YOU PREDICTED THAT 1524 01:00:07,771 --> 01:00:09,015 UH, COCUWA, YOU WERE RIGHT WHEN YOU PREDICTED THAT HARRY REASONER WOULD BE LEAVING 1525 01:00:09,039 --> 01:00:10,917 YOU PREDICTED THAT HARRY REASONER WOULD BE LEAVING THE ABC EVENING NEWS BECAUSE HE 1526 01:00:10,941 --> 01:00:12,719 HARRY REASONER WOULD BE LEAVING THE ABC EVENING NEWS BECAUSE HE DIDN'T FIT IN WITH THE PLANS. 1527 01:00:12,743 --> 01:00:14,220 THE ABC EVENING NEWS BECAUSE HE DIDN'T FIT IN WITH THE PLANS. AND, KREEG, YOU PREDICTED 1528 01:00:14,244 --> 01:00:16,089 DIDN'T FIT IN WITH THE PLANS. AND, KREEG, YOU PREDICTED CORRECTLY THAT WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT 1529 01:00:16,113 --> 01:00:17,691 AND, KREEG, YOU PREDICTED CORRECTLY THAT WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT BOXING CHAMPION LEON SPINKS 1530 01:00:17,715 --> 01:00:19,192 CORRECTLY THAT WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT BOXING CHAMPION LEON SPINKS WOULD BE ARRESTED FOR DRIVING 1531 01:00:19,216 --> 01:00:20,694 BOXING CHAMPION LEON SPINKS WOULD BE ARRESTED FOR DRIVING WITHOUT HEADLIGHTS AND HAVING 1532 01:00:20,718 --> 01:00:21,995 WOULD BE ARRESTED FOR DRIVING WITHOUT HEADLIGHTS AND HAVING COCAINE IN HIS HAT. 1533 01:00:22,019 --> 01:00:23,897 WITHOUT HEADLIGHTS AND HAVING COCAINE IN HIS HAT. BUT LET'S GET ON TO TOMORROW'S 1534 01:00:23,921 --> 01:00:24,898 COCAINE IN HIS HAT. BUT LET'S GET ON TO TOMORROW'S HEADLINES. 1535 01:00:24,922 --> 01:00:27,233 BUT LET'S GET ON TO TOMORROW'S HEADLINES. WHAT DOES NEXT WEEK LOOK LIKE? 1536 01:00:27,257 --> 01:00:28,634 HEADLINES. WHAT DOES NEXT WEEK LOOK LIKE? WHAT'S GONNA BE THE BIG STORY? 1537 01:00:28,658 --> 01:00:31,660 I THINK... THE BIG STORY WILL 1538 01:00:31,794 --> 01:00:32,871 BE THE DISAPPEARANCE OF THE 1539 01:00:32,895 --> 01:00:33,762 BARNWELL, SOUTH CAROLINA, 1540 01:00:33,896 --> 01:00:34,763 NUCLEAR DUMP. 1541 01:00:34,897 --> 01:00:36,331 IT'S THE SECOND-LARGEST NUCLEAR 1542 01:00:36,465 --> 01:00:37,465 DUMP IN THE COUNTRY, AND 1543 01:00:37,533 --> 01:00:38,733 EVERYBODY'S GOING TO BE PRETTY 1544 01:00:38,835 --> 01:00:39,835 CONCERNED WHERE IT WENT. 1545 01:00:39,869 --> 01:00:40,909 BUT DON'T YOU THINK THE 1546 01:00:41,037 --> 01:00:42,317 DEBBY BOONE KIDNAPPING WILL BE A 1547 01:00:42,371 --> 01:00:43,204 BIGGER STORY THAN THE 1548 01:00:43,339 --> 01:00:44,472 NUCLEAR-DUMP DISAPPEARANCE? 1549 01:00:44,607 --> 01:00:45,807 AFTER ALL, THE PUBLIC IS MORE 1550 01:00:45,942 --> 01:00:46,775 INTERESTED IN PEOPLE 1551 01:00:46,909 --> 01:00:48,576 DISAPPEARING THAN DUMPS. 1552 01:00:48,845 --> 01:00:54,160 WELL, MITZI, I-I FEEL THAT, ALTHOUGH UNREASONABLE, THE KIDNAPPERS' DEMANDS WILL BE MET. 1553 01:00:54,184 --> 01:00:55,028 ALTHOUGH UNREASONABLE, THE KIDNAPPERS' DEMANDS WILL BE MET. NOW, I KNOW IT'S GOING TO BE 1554 01:00:55,052 --> 01:00:56,930 KIDNAPPERS' DEMANDS WILL BE MET. NOW, I KNOW IT'S GOING TO BE HARD FOR HER RECORD COMPANY TO 1555 01:00:56,954 --> 01:00:58,965 NOW, I KNOW IT'S GOING TO BE HARD FOR HER RECORD COMPANY TO ACTUALLY PROVE TO THE KIDNAPPERS 1556 01:00:58,989 --> 01:01:01,868 HARD FOR HER RECORD COMPANY TO ACTUALLY PROVE TO THE KIDNAPPERS THAT THEY ACTUALLY HAVE RECALLED 1557 01:01:01,892 --> 01:01:03,703 ACTUALLY PROVE TO THE KIDNAPPERS THAT THEY ACTUALLY HAVE RECALLED AND BURNED ALL 3 1/2 MILLION 1558 01:01:03,727 --> 01:01:04,504 THAT THEY ACTUALLY HAVE RECALLED AND BURNED ALL 3 1/2 MILLION COPIES OF 1559 01:01:04,528 --> 01:01:06,740 AND BURNED ALL 3 1/2 MILLION COPIES OF "YOU LIGHT UP MY LIFE," BUT I 1560 01:01:06,764 --> 01:01:09,308 COPIES OF "YOU LIGHT UP MY LIFE," BUT I FEEL QUITE SURE THAT, UH... 1561 01:01:09,332 --> 01:01:10,877 "YOU LIGHT UP MY LIFE," BUT I FEEL QUITE SURE THAT, UH... THAT EXECUTIVES WILL TRY TO MEET 1562 01:01:10,901 --> 01:01:11,577 FEEL QUITE SURE THAT, UH... THAT EXECUTIVES WILL TRY TO MEET THE DEMAND. 1563 01:01:11,601 --> 01:01:12,612 THAT EXECUTIVES WILL TRY TO MEET THE DEMAND. HOWEVER, THE NUCLEAR-DUMP 1564 01:01:12,636 --> 01:01:13,780 THE DEMAND. HOWEVER, THE NUCLEAR-DUMP DISAPPEARANCE IS A STORY THAT 1565 01:01:13,804 --> 01:01:15,180 HOWEVER, THE NUCLEAR-DUMP DISAPPEARANCE IS A STORY THAT JUST WON'T GO AWAY. 1566 01:01:15,204 --> 01:01:16,538 BUT WOULD YOU SAY IT'S A 1567 01:01:16,673 --> 01:01:18,073 BIGGER ISSUE THAN THE POPE'S 1568 01:01:18,207 --> 01:01:20,842 CLONING? 1569 01:01:20,977 --> 01:01:22,310 I FEEL THE INTEREST IN THE 1570 01:01:22,444 --> 01:01:23,812 14-MONTH-OLD CLONE HAS BEEN 1571 01:01:23,946 --> 01:01:25,480 BUILDING, AND WHEN PEOPLE HEAR 1572 01:01:25,614 --> 01:01:27,182 THAT THE POPE IS THE MYSTERIOUS 1573 01:01:27,316 --> 01:01:28,550 MILLIONAIRE WHO ACTUALLY 1574 01:01:28,685 --> 01:01:30,152 COMMISSIONED THE CLONE, WELL, 1575 01:01:30,286 --> 01:01:31,486 IT'S GOING TO BE STARTLING. 1576 01:01:31,754 --> 01:01:35,735 BUT DO YOU THINK THE CHURCH WILL DECLARE THAT THE CLONE IS INFALLIBLE? 1577 01:01:35,759 --> 01:01:37,771 WILL DECLARE THAT THE CLONE IS INFALLIBLE? YES, SOMETIME IN JULY, 1578 01:01:37,795 --> 01:01:40,306 INFALLIBLE? YES, SOMETIME IN JULY, PROBABLY ON THE 19th. 1579 01:01:40,330 --> 01:01:42,508 YES, SOMETIME IN JULY, PROBABLY ON THE 19th. UH... UH... UH... QUESTION... 1580 01:01:42,532 --> 01:01:44,277 PROBABLY ON THE 19th. UH... UH... UH... QUESTION... WHAT SIGN IS THE CLONE? 1581 01:01:44,301 --> 01:01:46,512 UH... UH... UH... QUESTION... WHAT SIGN IS THE CLONE? WOULD A CLONE BE THE SAME SIGN 1582 01:01:46,536 --> 01:01:48,548 WHAT SIGN IS THE CLONE? WOULD A CLONE BE THE SAME SIGN AS THE CELL DONOR, OR... OR 1583 01:01:48,572 --> 01:01:50,650 WOULD A CLONE BE THE SAME SIGN AS THE CELL DONOR, OR... OR WOULD IT HAVE THE SIGN UNDER 1584 01:01:50,674 --> 01:01:51,851 AS THE CELL DONOR, OR... OR WOULD IT HAVE THE SIGN UNDER WHICH IT WAS BORN? 1585 01:01:51,875 --> 01:01:53,619 WOULD IT HAVE THE SIGN UNDER WHICH IT WAS BORN? THAT'S WHAT'S GOT ME PUZZLED. 1586 01:01:53,643 --> 01:01:55,121 WHICH IT WAS BORN? THAT'S WHAT'S GOT ME PUZZLED. I THINK IN THESE CASES, IT 1587 01:01:55,145 --> 01:01:56,622 THAT'S WHAT'S GOT ME PUZZLED. I THINK IN THESE CASES, IT WOULD HAVE A HYPHENATED SIGN. 1588 01:01:56,646 --> 01:01:57,791 I THINK IN THESE CASES, IT WOULD HAVE A HYPHENATED SIGN. FOR INSTANCE, THE POPE'S CLONE 1589 01:01:57,815 --> 01:01:59,659 WOULD HAVE A HYPHENATED SIGN. FOR INSTANCE, THE POPE'S CLONE WILL BE AN ARIES-LEO. 1590 01:01:59,683 --> 01:02:01,027 FOR INSTANCE, THE POPE'S CLONE WILL BE AN ARIES-LEO. IT'S KIND OF LIKE BEING BORN IN 1591 01:02:01,051 --> 01:02:03,229 WILL BE AN ARIES-LEO. IT'S KIND OF LIKE BEING BORN IN A NONLINEAR CUSP. 1592 01:02:03,253 --> 01:02:04,964 IT'S KIND OF LIKE BEING BORN IN A NONLINEAR CUSP. WELL, COCUWA, YOU PREDICTED 1593 01:02:04,988 --> 01:02:06,666 A NONLINEAR CUSP. WELL, COCUWA, YOU PREDICTED EVERY TIME MAGAZINE COVER FOR 1594 01:02:06,690 --> 01:02:08,101 WELL, COCUWA, YOU PREDICTED EVERY TIME MAGAZINE COVER FOR THE LAST TWO YEARS. 1595 01:02:08,125 --> 01:02:09,202 EVERY TIME MAGAZINE COVER FOR THE LAST TWO YEARS. WHAT'S GONNA BE ON THE TIME 1596 01:02:09,226 --> 01:02:11,270 THE LAST TWO YEARS. WHAT'S GONNA BE ON THE TIME MAGAZINE COVER THIS WEEK, OR 1597 01:02:11,294 --> 01:02:13,239 WHAT'S GONNA BE ON THE TIME MAGAZINE COVER THIS WEEK, OR NEXT WEEK... THE POPE'S CLONING, 1598 01:02:13,263 --> 01:02:15,175 MAGAZINE COVER THIS WEEK, OR NEXT WEEK... THE POPE'S CLONING, THE NUCLEAR-DUMP DISAPPEARANCE, 1599 01:02:15,199 --> 01:02:16,542 NEXT WEEK... THE POPE'S CLONING, THE NUCLEAR-DUMP DISAPPEARANCE, OR THE BOONE-NAPPING? 1600 01:02:16,566 --> 01:02:18,144 THE NUCLEAR-DUMP DISAPPEARANCE, OR THE BOONE-NAPPING? NONE OF THE ABOVE, MAXINE. 1601 01:02:18,168 --> 01:02:19,779 OR THE BOONE-NAPPING? NONE OF THE ABOVE, MAXINE. YOU KNOW THAT MY ADOPTED NAME, 1602 01:02:19,803 --> 01:02:22,115 NONE OF THE ABOVE, MAXINE. YOU KNOW THAT MY ADOPTED NAME, COCUWA, MEANS "TO HELP WITHOUT 1603 01:02:22,139 --> 01:02:24,684 YOU KNOW THAT MY ADOPTED NAME, COCUWA, MEANS "TO HELP WITHOUT COMPENSATION" IN HAWAIIAN. 1604 01:02:24,708 --> 01:02:27,020 COCUWA, MEANS "TO HELP WITHOUT COMPENSATION" IN HAWAIIAN. AND I HAVE NOTHING TO GAIN IN 1605 01:02:27,044 --> 01:02:29,555 COMPENSATION" IN HAWAIIAN. AND I HAVE NOTHING TO GAIN IN ANY WAY FROM THE PERSONAL WEALTH 1606 01:02:29,579 --> 01:02:31,057 AND I HAVE NOTHING TO GAIN IN ANY WAY FROM THE PERSONAL WEALTH OF MY GREAT GIFT. 1607 01:02:31,081 --> 01:02:33,559 ANY WAY FROM THE PERSONAL WEALTH OF MY GREAT GIFT. I BELIEVE NEXT WEEK'S TIME COVER 1608 01:02:33,583 --> 01:02:35,561 OF MY GREAT GIFT. I BELIEVE NEXT WEEK'S TIME COVER WILL BE ABOUT THE RECENT 1609 01:02:35,585 --> 01:02:37,997 I BELIEVE NEXT WEEK'S TIME COVER WILL BE ABOUT THE RECENT COMMUNICATION FROM OUTER SPACE. 1610 01:02:38,021 --> 01:02:39,298 WILL BE ABOUT THE RECENT COMMUNICATION FROM OUTER SPACE. UH, COCUWA, I AGREE WITH YOU 1611 01:02:39,322 --> 01:02:40,499 COMMUNICATION FROM OUTER SPACE. UH, COCUWA, I AGREE WITH YOU THAT IT WOULD BE THE BIGGEST 1612 01:02:40,523 --> 01:02:42,068 UH, COCUWA, I AGREE WITH YOU THAT IT WOULD BE THE BIGGEST STORY IF THE MESSAGE WAS OF ANY 1613 01:02:42,092 --> 01:02:44,270 THAT IT WOULD BE THE BIGGEST STORY IF THE MESSAGE WAS OF ANY IMPORTANCE, BUT WE ALL KNOW HOW 1614 01:02:44,294 --> 01:02:45,004 STORY IF THE MESSAGE WAS OF ANY IMPORTANCE, BUT WE ALL KNOW HOW TRIVIAL IT IS. 1615 01:02:45,028 --> 01:02:46,272 IMPORTANCE, BUT WE ALL KNOW HOW TRIVIAL IT IS. WHAT, YOU MEAN A FOREIGN 1616 01:02:46,296 --> 01:02:47,506 TRIVIAL IT IS. WHAT, YOU MEAN A FOREIGN PLANET WILL ACTUALLY SEND A 1617 01:02:47,530 --> 01:02:49,209 WHAT, YOU MEAN A FOREIGN PLANET WILL ACTUALLY SEND A MESSAGE NEXT WEEK? 1618 01:02:49,233 --> 01:02:49,743 PLANET WILL ACTUALLY SEND A MESSAGE NEXT WEEK? NO. 1619 01:02:49,767 --> 01:02:51,444 MESSAGE NEXT WEEK? NO. A FOREIGN PLANET ACTUALLY SENT 1620 01:02:51,468 --> 01:02:53,913 NO. A FOREIGN PLANET ACTUALLY SENT US A MESSAGE LAST WEEK. 1621 01:02:53,937 --> 01:02:55,615 A FOREIGN PLANET ACTUALLY SENT US A MESSAGE LAST WEEK. NEXT WEEK, THE GOVERNMENT WILL 1622 01:02:55,639 --> 01:02:57,050 US A MESSAGE LAST WEEK. NEXT WEEK, THE GOVERNMENT WILL REVEAL THE MESSAGE TO THE 1623 01:02:57,074 --> 01:02:57,650 NEXT WEEK, THE GOVERNMENT WILL REVEAL THE MESSAGE TO THE PUBLIC. 1624 01:02:57,674 --> 01:02:59,418 REVEAL THE MESSAGE TO THE PUBLIC. YOU SEE, IT ALL STARTED ON 1625 01:02:59,442 --> 01:03:01,187 PUBLIC. YOU SEE, IT ALL STARTED ON AUGUST 20, 1977, WHEN NASA PUT 1626 01:03:01,211 --> 01:03:02,321 YOU SEE, IT ALL STARTED ON AUGUST 20, 1977, WHEN NASA PUT UP A RECORDING OF 1627 01:03:02,345 --> 01:03:03,322 AUGUST 20, 1977, WHEN NASA PUT UP A RECORDING OF "THE SOUNDS OF EARTH" ON 1628 01:03:03,346 --> 01:03:04,390 UP A RECORDING OF "THE SOUNDS OF EARTH" ON VOYAGER 1. 1629 01:03:04,414 --> 01:03:06,325 "THE SOUNDS OF EARTH" ON VOYAGER 1. A 2-HOUR-LONG TAPE INCLUDED 1630 01:03:06,349 --> 01:03:08,194 VOYAGER 1. A 2-HOUR-LONG TAPE INCLUDED NATURAL SOUNDS OF ANIMALS, A 1631 01:03:08,218 --> 01:03:10,063 A 2-HOUR-LONG TAPE INCLUDED NATURAL SOUNDS OF ANIMALS, A FRENCH POEM BY BAUDELAIRE, A 1632 01:03:10,087 --> 01:03:11,765 NATURAL SOUNDS OF ANIMALS, A FRENCH POEM BY BAUDELAIRE, A PASSAGE FROM THE KORAN IN 1633 01:03:11,789 --> 01:03:12,866 FRENCH POEM BY BAUDELAIRE, A PASSAGE FROM THE KORAN IN ARABIC, MESSAGES FROM 1634 01:03:12,890 --> 01:03:14,400 PASSAGE FROM THE KORAN IN ARABIC, MESSAGES FROM PRESIDENT CARTER, UNITED NATIONS 1635 01:03:14,424 --> 01:03:15,635 ARABIC, MESSAGES FROM PRESIDENT CARTER, UNITED NATIONS SECRETARY KURT WALDHEIM, 1636 01:03:15,659 --> 01:03:17,270 PRESIDENT CARTER, UNITED NATIONS SECRETARY KURT WALDHEIM, MUSIC... EVERYTHING FROM 1637 01:03:17,294 --> 01:03:18,905 SECRETARY KURT WALDHEIM, MUSIC... EVERYTHING FROM CLASSICAL TO CHUCK BERRY. 1638 01:03:18,929 --> 01:03:20,539 MUSIC... EVERYTHING FROM CLASSICAL TO CHUCK BERRY. AND YOU'RE SAYING THAT 1639 01:03:20,563 --> 01:03:22,441 CLASSICAL TO CHUCK BERRY. AND YOU'RE SAYING THAT ANOTHER CIVILIZATION HAS FOUND 1640 01:03:22,465 --> 01:03:23,209 AND YOU'RE SAYING THAT ANOTHER CIVILIZATION HAS FOUND THE TAPE? 1641 01:03:23,233 --> 01:03:23,643 ANOTHER CIVILIZATION HAS FOUND THE TAPE? YES. 1642 01:03:23,667 --> 01:03:24,911 THE TAPE? YES. THEY'VE SENT US A MESSAGE THAT 1643 01:03:24,935 --> 01:03:26,246 YES. THEY'VE SENT US A MESSAGE THAT ACTUALLY PROVES IT. 1644 01:03:26,270 --> 01:03:27,981 THEY'VE SENT US A MESSAGE THAT ACTUALLY PROVES IT. IT MAY BE JUST FOUR SIMPLE 1645 01:03:28,005 --> 01:03:29,949 ACTUALLY PROVES IT. IT MAY BE JUST FOUR SIMPLE WORDS, BUT IT IS THE FIRST 1646 01:03:29,973 --> 01:03:31,417 IT MAY BE JUST FOUR SIMPLE WORDS, BUT IT IS THE FIRST POSITIVE PROOF THAT OTHER 1647 01:03:31,441 --> 01:03:32,819 WORDS, BUT IT IS THE FIRST POSITIVE PROOF THAT OTHER INTELLIGENT BEINGS INHABIT THE 1648 01:03:32,843 --> 01:03:33,619 POSITIVE PROOF THAT OTHER INTELLIGENT BEINGS INHABIT THE UNIVERSE. 1649 01:03:33,643 --> 01:03:35,421 INTELLIGENT BEINGS INHABIT THE UNIVERSE. WHAT ARE THE FOUR WORDS, 1650 01:03:35,445 --> 01:03:36,089 UNIVERSE. WHAT ARE THE FOUR WORDS, COCUWA? 1651 01:03:36,113 --> 01:03:38,057 WHAT ARE THE FOUR WORDS, COCUWA? THE FOUR WORDS THAT CAME TO 1652 01:03:38,081 --> 01:03:40,260 COCUWA? THE FOUR WORDS THAT CAME TO US FROM OUTER SPACE, THE FOUR 1653 01:03:40,284 --> 01:03:42,461 THE FOUR WORDS THAT CAME TO US FROM OUTER SPACE, THE FOUR WORDS THAT WILL APPEAR ON THE 1654 01:03:42,485 --> 01:03:44,864 US FROM OUTER SPACE, THE FOUR WORDS THAT WILL APPEAR ON THE COVER OF TIME MAGAZINE NEXT WEEK 1655 01:03:44,888 --> 01:03:47,568 WORDS THAT WILL APPEAR ON THE COVER OF TIME MAGAZINE NEXT WEEK ARE... 1656 01:03:56,332 --> 01:04:01,281 I'M AFRAID OUR TIME IS RUNNING OUT. TO ALL OUR LOYAL VIEWERS, I'M 1657 01:04:01,305 --> 01:04:02,282 RUNNING OUT. TO ALL OUR LOYAL VIEWERS, I'M MAXINE UNIVERSE. 1658 01:04:02,306 --> 01:04:03,449 TO ALL OUR LOYAL VIEWERS, I'M MAXINE UNIVERSE. SEE YOU NEXT WEEK. 1659 01:04:03,473 --> 01:04:05,084 MAXINE UNIVERSE. SEE YOU NEXT WEEK. I'M NOT SO SURE OF THAT, 1660 01:04:05,108 --> 01:04:07,987 SEE YOU NEXT WEEK. I'M NOT SO SURE OF THAT, MAXINE. 1661 01:04:08,011 --> 01:04:09,722 I'M NOT SO SURE OF THAT, MAXINE. YOU MEAN WE WON'T BE ON NEXT 1662 01:04:09,746 --> 01:04:10,190 MAXINE. YOU MEAN WE WON'T BE ON NEXT WEEK? 1663 01:04:10,214 --> 01:04:12,358 YOU MEAN WE WON'T BE ON NEXT WEEK? WE MAY BE ON NEXT WEEK, BUT, 1664 01:04:12,382 --> 01:04:14,194 WEEK? WE MAY BE ON NEXT WEEK, BUT, PERHAPS, NOT YOU, MAXINE. 1665 01:04:14,218 --> 01:04:15,661 WE MAY BE ON NEXT WEEK, BUT, PERHAPS, NOT YOU, MAXINE. DON'T WORRY, MAXINE. 1666 01:04:15,685 --> 01:04:16,796 PERHAPS, NOT YOU, MAXINE. DON'T WORRY, MAXINE. YOU'LL BE LEAVING 1667 01:04:16,820 --> 01:04:18,131 DON'T WORRY, MAXINE. YOU'LL BE LEAVING "NEXT WEEK IN REVIEW" BECAUSE 1668 01:04:18,155 --> 01:04:19,565 YOU'LL BE LEAVING "NEXT WEEK IN REVIEW" BECAUSE YOU DON'T FIT IN WITH THE SHOW'S 1669 01:04:19,589 --> 01:04:20,066 "NEXT WEEK IN REVIEW" BECAUSE YOU DON'T FIT IN WITH THE SHOW'S PLANS. 1670 01:04:20,090 --> 01:04:21,467 YOU DON'T FIT IN WITH THE SHOW'S PLANS. YOU'LL BE OUT OF WORK FOR 1671 01:04:21,491 --> 01:04:22,836 PLANS. YOU'LL BE OUT OF WORK FOR MONTHS, BUT YOU'LL END UP 1672 01:04:22,860 --> 01:04:24,470 YOU'LL BE OUT OF WORK FOR MONTHS, BUT YOU'LL END UP CO-HOSTING A BIORHYTHM SHOW IN 1673 01:04:24,494 --> 01:04:27,140 MONTHS, BUT YOU'LL END UP CO-HOSTING A BIORHYTHM SHOW IN BALTIMORE WITH HARRY REASONER. 1674 01:04:27,164 --> 01:04:30,665 CO-HOSTING A BIORHYTHM SHOW IN BALTIMORE WITH HARRY REASONER. [APPLAUSE] 1675 01:04:55,091 --> 01:04:58,238 I THINK THIS HAS BEEN A GREAT SHOW TONIGHT, AND I'M REALLY HAPPY TO BE HERE. 1676 01:04:58,262 --> 01:04:59,705 SHOW TONIGHT, AND I'M REALLY HAPPY TO BE HERE. AND I REALLY WANT TO THANK 1677 01:04:59,729 --> 01:05:01,241 HAPPY TO BE HERE. AND I REALLY WANT TO THANK INDIVIDUALLY THE MEMBERS OF 1678 01:05:01,265 --> 01:05:02,342 AND I REALLY WANT TO THANK INDIVIDUALLY THE MEMBERS OF "SATURDAY NIGHT" BECAUSE THEY 1679 01:05:02,366 --> 01:05:03,476 INDIVIDUALLY THE MEMBERS OF "SATURDAY NIGHT" BECAUSE THEY REALLY, REALLY... YEAH, YEAH, 1680 01:05:03,500 --> 01:05:06,379 "SATURDAY NIGHT" BECAUSE THEY REALLY, REALLY... YEAH, YEAH, GREAT SHOW, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH. 1681 01:05:06,403 --> 01:05:08,214 REALLY, REALLY... YEAH, YEAH, GREAT SHOW, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH. GREAT PEOP... GROUP... PEOPLE OF 1682 01:05:08,238 --> 01:05:09,648 GREAT SHOW, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH. GREAT PEOP... GROUP... PEOPLE OF GROUP TO BE WITH, REALLY. 1683 01:05:09,672 --> 01:05:11,550 GREAT PEOP... GROUP... PEOPLE OF GROUP TO BE WITH, REALLY. I MEAN THAT SINCERELY WHEN I SAY 1684 01:05:11,574 --> 01:05:12,986 GROUP TO BE WITH, REALLY. I MEAN THAT SINCERELY WHEN I SAY THAT. 1685 01:05:13,010 --> 01:05:14,487 I MEAN THAT SINCERELY WHEN I SAY THAT. SO, THANKS A LOT. SEE YOU. 1686 01:05:14,511 --> 01:05:16,591 THAT. SO, THANKS A LOT. SEE YOU. [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 1687 01:05:27,123 --> 01:05:28,723 Announcer: NEXT WEEK, WATCH 1688 01:05:28,857 --> 01:05:30,158 AN ENCORE PERFORMANCE OF 1689 01:05:30,293 --> 01:05:31,927 "SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE" WITH HOST 1690 01:05:32,061 --> 01:05:33,594 MARY KAY PLACE AND MUSICAL GUEST 1691 01:05:33,729 --> 01:05:34,896 WILLIE NELSON. 1692 01:05:35,031 --> 01:05:36,998 WE'LL RETURN LIVE IN THREE WEEKS 1693 01:05:37,133 --> 01:05:38,866 ON SATURDAY NIGHT, MAY 13th, 1694 01:05:39,001 --> 01:05:40,335 WHEN OUR HOST WILL BE 1695 01:05:40,469 --> 01:05:42,503 RICHARD DREYFUSS. 1696 01:05:42,638 --> 01:05:44,072 AND I'M HERE ALL THE TIME, IF 1697 01:05:44,206 --> 01:05:45,373 ANYONE WANTS TO LISTEN. 1698 01:05:45,507 --> 01:05:47,409 THIS IS DON PARDO SAYING GOOD 1699 01:05:47,543 --> 01:05:49,344 NIGHT. 184866

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