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We always seem to think we're invincible when we're younger.
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The thing about that is we're all unstoppable
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until someone comes into your life and changes it irreversibly.
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And no matter how hard you try, you never find anyone like them ever again.
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When I had my first breakup in high school, my mother told me,
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everyone will enter your life as a season.
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Sometimes you barely make it out
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and learn how to prepare for the next winter.
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But sometimes you grow
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and you enjoy the beauty that that season brings.
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For me, the hardest, most beautifully vivid season
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was Antonella.
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She was dynamic.
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She was like the character that you only ever read about.
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Brazen, charismatic, everything.
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Something about her just drew you in
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and you could never quite put your finger on it
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but you knew that you wanted it.
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And you'd do anything.
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And I did.
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Every. Single. Thing.
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We were inseparable.
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I had never fallen for someone so fast.
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I was never so sure that anyone was meant for me.
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We both jumped right in.
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I took the good with the bad.
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I loved Antonella and everything that she was.
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We had each other and that was enough.
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Or at least it was enough until I needed more.
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Okay. Yeah, okay, I will be there in 30 minutes. Bye.
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You don't have to do this, you know.
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I make enough to support both of us.
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I take care of myself.
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I can't support myself this way.
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I have been doing this for a long time now.
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So my feelings on the matter mean nothing, basically.
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I'm not gonna have this conversation with you right now.
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I'm gonna be late.
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No matter what, I love you.
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I hope you know that.
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See you tonight.
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It wasn't the first time that I had fooled myself into thinking that I could change someone.
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I knew that eventually this would eat away at me.
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But I can convince myself of anything, including telling myself I won't get attached.
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But there I was, five months in, between a rock and a hard place.
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The one thing I couldn't settle for.
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I was desperate, so I acted desperately.
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This is everything.
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Everything I have.
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I want you to make a decision.
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I need you to, actually.
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I'll give you all of this.
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But you have to choose me.
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No more late nights.
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Going out with whoever?
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Nothing.
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I worry about you.
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I want to be with you forever.
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But I can't keep going on like this.
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It's killing me.
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Sorry, I just...
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No, no.
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I can start over.
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I'm the fucking comeback queen.
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I needed a new change of scenery.
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New people, new city, new number.
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Hell, maybe I'll dye my hair fresh and new.
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But first, I just had to make one last stop.
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