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The pool hall is a great equalizer.

In the pool hall, nobody cares about how old you are,

how young you are, what color your skin is,

or how much money you got in your pocket.

It's about how you move.

And I remember this kid once

who could move on a pool table.

like nobody had ever seen.

I mean, hour after hour, rack after rack,

his shots just went in.

The cue was part of his arm and the balls had eyes.

And the thing that made him so good,

was he thought he could never miss.

I know, 'cause that kid was me.

What they're doing is

they're forming this new league, see,

kinda like what they got for golf and tennis,

but for pool.

So they scouted all the best players

from all over the country for 50 spots on this new pro tour.

And then they made their selections.

Last summer, I was in Memphis,

playing Bucktooth for that Chevy.

The tournament director himself

was in the room watching me play,

a guy by the name of Toupee Jay.

Anyway, after playing Bucktooth,

this guy Jay comes up to me,

and he says that even though

all 50 spots on the tour are filled,

after watching me play,

the league would have to make an exception

in my case to carry 51.

Can you believe that? They want me.

He even told Joe that he'd send the invitation himself.

Man, when I was out there playing,

we didn't have no professionals,

all we had was hustlers.

Oh no, I don't wanna be a hustler, Rags.

I wanna be a professional, and I'm gonna be.

I'm just waiting for my invitation.

Hey! What's going on here?

- We were just, ah. - You were just what?

What? You know who this is?

This is Rags, and he's a hustler.

Probably one of the best around.

What'd you do, make him win the first set?

- He's up 20. - He's 20 up?

Right, 20 up, and then you'd be 50 up,

then you'd be 100 up, then you'd be broke.

Come on, Joe, let me play.

I can beat this guy.

Look, maybe you can and maybe you can't,

but we don't deal in maybes, do we?

You don't know all the angles yet, but I do, all right?

He's bad news.

Even if you win, you can't win.

What do you mean even if I win, I can't win?

What does that mean? I don't understand.

You don't have to understand, you just gotta listen to me.

Joe, if the kid wants to play, why don't you let him play?

He may learn something.

Hey, Rags, the only thing he's gonna learn from you

is how to lose.

Now, I'm trying to do something here.

I'm trying to educate this kid, all right?

So if you got something to say, you say it to me.

Otherwise, shut the fuck up,

because he's my kid, all right?

He's my fucking kid.

And I'm gonna make him a champion,

so you stay away from him.

- Mail came today, Joe. - Thanks, Don.

White boy's got skill.

No, he can't.

Damn.

Now, let me get this straight.

You're saying that because you and me are friends,

you're saying that that makes us niggers?

No, no, no, no, no, niggas, alright?

Niggas.

There's a big difference.

That's what I just said, I said nigger.

No, nigga.

Nigger.

Nigga, N-I-G-G-A, nigga.

Nigga?

Yeah.

What the fuck is that?

Man, it mean like we brothers,

you know what I'm saying?

Like if I say you my nigga, right,

that mean we boys, you see?

Like that man you playing right there,

that's my nigga, Charles.

Oh, my nigger, Charles, right?

No, hold it, hold it,

hold it, see, now, you can't say that.

Only I can.

Why?

Because first of all, you don't say it right,

and second, you don't know Charles.

- I do. - You do?

Yeah, I do.

I've been knowing Charles since he was knee-high to a duck.

See, me and Charles, nigga, we down.

You're down?

Yeah, down.

Well, of course you're down, Chico.

You're down about five grand,

now gimme my fucking money.

You know what?

It is absolutely impossible

to have an intelligent conversation

with your white ass.

Shoot pool, honky.

This is our night, Johnny.

This is our night, I can feel it.

I mean, you got them animals in there

eating out of the palm of your hand.

You beat them, you take their money,

you call them names to their faces, and they love you.

I don't know how you do it.

I never seen anything like it.

I mean, beating a man out of his money,

that's easy, anybody could do that.

But beating a man out of his money and making him like it,

that's an art.

That's an art of a true hustler.

But Johnny, it's getting late,

and I don't wanna be here all fucking night, okay?

Now, there's enough drug money in there

that we're gonna need a fucking wheelbarrow to carry it out,

so stop messing around.

I mean, you got a game those people never seen.

And quite frankly,

I'd like to see it sometime myself tonight.

Now, you're gonna go in there,

you're gonna bump up the bet

and you're gonna close this fucking night out.

So stop wasting my fucking time.

Just do it.

A bottle of Jack.

Well, I'll be a three-legged dog

if I'm not looking at the Side Pocket Kid.

You don't remember me, but I saw you play once

about 10, 15 years ago.

I used to wear a rug.

- Toupee Jay? - Yeah, that's me.

I saw this kid play one of the best games

I've ever seen in my life.

He couldn't have been more than 14 or 15 years old back then

but man, he could shoot the lights out.

Now look at him, he's all grown up.

You know, I always wondered what happened to you.

Why you never made it down to Johnson City.

Well, you know, Jay,

I've never been much of a tournament player.

There's no money in 'em.

No money?

We just held the US Open in Atlanta.

First prize was 100,000.

Yeah, but you kinda gotta be invited

to those kinda things now, don't you, Jay?

Well, we did invite you, John.

A couple of times.

I sent the invitations out myself.

Yeah?

I even called and spoke to a backer you had in those days,

but he said you weren't interested.

Something about your parents wanting you to finish school?

Hey John, what was the name of that backer you had anyway?

Was it, was it Joe?

Bet 20,000.

Oh, what's the matter, did I stutter?

Everybody got all quiet and shit?

About a minute ago,

it was like an evening at the Apollo

up in this motherfucker.

Now, all of a sudden it's quiet as a church.

That's all right, Chico,

I don't blame you.

I've been beating this Jimmy Walker-looking motherfucker

all goddamn night, he can't win.

You better watch your mouth, Johnny.

You watch my mouth, Chico,

'cause you sure as hell don't wanna watch me play pool.

Unless of course, I'm blindfolded and handcuffed

with a pool cue sticking outta my ass.

So maybe you'd bet the 20,000 then, right?

Oh, man.

Oh yeah, that's what I thought.

Come on Joe, let's get the fuck outta here.

These guys wouldn't bet $5 if they were black.

Hold this.

You got a bet.

But for $20,000, you gotta play my man, Brad,

in the corner over there.

What're you doing, Johnny?

I only got eight grand on me.

You don't wanna play that guy.

That guy's a pro.

I saw him at the pro tournament in Phoenix.

Don't you ever tell me who I play again, Joe.

I'll play anybody in the house.

You know that, Chico.

Yo, Brad.

You wanna play this bad motherfucker on my money?

I don't think so, Chico.

Looks like you got too much personal shit going on.

You know what?

Fuck you, Johnny.

Charles, get the rack.

I'll play this nigga myself.

What the fuck are you doing?

- Hey! - He's got $8,000 on him,

but it's not enough.

What the fuck is going on, Johnny?

You shoulda looked out for me, Joe.

I was just a kid.

I'll kill you, you motherfucker.

I'll fucking kill you.

You know what, you shut the fuck up.

Now, do you honestly think

that I would let a white boy

walk into my pool hall and talk that much shit

unless he was trying to tell me something?

You missed the fucking signs, Joe.

You didn't listen.

Me and Johnny, we's niggas.

I'm outta here.

Peace.

Now what's this I hear about you not having my money?

- Get him, man. - Get him.

Fucker.

Get the fuck off me!

Get your ass-

When I was 12, I walked into a pool room,

picked up a cue and I just knew how to play.

I guess for some people it's baseball or music.

For me, it was pool.

But I never wanted to be a hustler.

I wanted to be the best.

But after 15 years with Joe,

the only thing I ever got to be was the best hustler.

I guess in life,

things don't always work out the way you want 'em to.

You ah, you wanted to see me?

You know, I'd have to say you're the worst carpenter

I ever worked with my entire life.

How'd you get this job?

Jack Radosta hired me on.

I guess he thought he owed me a couple favors.

Well, Jack's a good man.

Bad gambler, but he's a good man.

Look, I know I'm no good at any of this stuff,

but Jack's been showing me a few things

and I figure if I work harder and I try as hard as I can,

- I might be able to- - Relax, okay?

You're not getting fired.

As a matter of fact, I decided to move you out

from underneath the sweat and make you head of supplies.

That's a promotion, son.

More money, nice bonuses.

Thanks.

Well, I figure out of all the men around here,

you're probably the most qualified for that job.

Why you say that?

Well, you're the pool hustler, ain't you?

If I need a couple truckloads of steel

to disappear off this site,

I know I can count on you to make it happen, right?

You get taken care of, I get taken care of

and everybody's happy.

And the heaviest thing you ever have to lift around here

is a clipboard.

Well?

I'm sorry, Bill.

I think you got the wrong guy.

What?

Tell Jack I said thanks, okay?

You don't do as I say,

then you and Jack both be looking for work somewhere else.

Well, then you can tell Jack I said we're even.

Hey, Johnny, you got a phone call.

Yeah.

Oh, hey, Nick, what's up?

What?

Yeah.

Yeah, I want a game.

All right, let's go.

- Good job! - Good job!

- Oh! - Good job, man!

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

What I'm saying is that I'm betting you $200

I can drink both these pints of beer

before you can drink both those shots of Jack.

Sounds like a good deal to me.

That is absolutely impossible.

Then put up your money, man.

No problem.

Hey, Brett, can you spot me?

Again?

You already owe me $200.

I'll pay you tomorrow, I promise.

All right, no cheating, all right?

I know how you guys are.

You can't go knocking one of my glasses off the table

and tell me I have to lap it up

before I can win my own bet, okay?

Hey, who the fuck you think

- we are, huh? - Yeah, well I know, I know.

Well, I just...

Okay, just to make it fair,

you gotta at least let me finish my first beer

before you fire down both of your shots.

And you can't touch my glasses and I can't touch yours.

Deal, you're on.

- Fine. - Sounds good to me.

Gimme a piece of that.

Absolutely, good luck.

20, 30, 40, 65.

How much more do I need, Max?

Well, if Tang wins this game,

that should be just enough.

Since when was he ever satisfied with just enough?

Tang's right, plus I'll need more money for flyers too.

Well, you could always play Moose a quick game.

He's always good for a C note.

Say, Moose?

Don't mess with me!

I was watching TV with your wife today.

Stupid bitch, took her two hours to watch "60 Minutes."

I'm sorry, I made a, oh my God!

Say one, two, three, go.

One, two, three, go.

- Get him, Max. - Aah!

- Get out of my way! - Get outta the way!

It's quicker with that hand.

Dude, it doesn't matter what fucking hand I use.

- Use your left hand. - Shut up.

You can't touch my glasses

and I can't touch your glasses.

It's incredible what's going on.

Have fun.

- Calm down, Moose! - Calm down!

That's it, Danny, get your money up.

Race to five for 100,

and I wanna see the money this time!

No more playing for owesies!

Good Lord, Moose, will you calm down,

get a throat lozenge?

Let me get my cue, will ya?

Hey, Nick!

Hand me my cue, will ya?

- Is that legal? - 'Course it's not legal.

Fuck it, it's your money.

- Hey Johnny! - Johnny, what's going on?

- It's fucking lame- - Hey-

- What's he doing here? - Never mind your brother.

He's playing Moose, for Christ's sake.

You concentrate on your own game.

Man, you've been telling me that

since I'm 15 years old.

Well, I can't help it.

This guy's tough, for Christ's sake.

He's a pro.

you didn't say anything about that.

This guy's a pro?

What's his name?

I don't know what his name is.

He's a new guy on the circuit, for Christ's sakes.

I don't know, Nick,

I haven't played in a while.

If you're short on the money, I'll back you.

It's not about the money, Nick.

You know, I-

I know it is not about the money,

but you can't go on playing buns all your life.

Sooner or later, if you're any kinda man,

you gotta step up, step out and see what the fuck you got.

All right.

Somebody hand me a cue.

- You wanna play some? - Maybe something cheap.

I'm just learning.

1,000 sound about right?

Fine.

Did you see that last shot?

Unbelievable.

You see the look on that fucker's face?

- Like shit- - Wait a minute.

Fucking dog.

Yo, we gotta go to Mel's, bro.

The waitress there has the sickest tits

I've ever seen.

Jesus Christ, when did this happen?

Fuck, the weather's been crazy lately.

How many times I told you

to stay in the fucking pool room?

- A thousand. - Exactly, a thousand.

So how come you don't fucking listen?

Doesn't make any sense.

Every day you say, "Danny, stay out of the pool room."

Every day I come down here and win 200 or $300.

It's easy money.

You kicked out.

All right, all right,

- that's enough! - Hey, you coming to Mel's?

You guys are fucking retarded.

No, I'm not going to Mel's.

- Let's go! - Listen, seriously,

don't smoke.

And if I catch you with him smoking,

I'm gonna take away your bar mitzvah money.

- Thanks, Mom. - He wouldn't do that,

- would he? - All right.

- He wouldn't do that- - All right, Mom,

get in the fucking car.

Did you guys know

that the average penis size is 6.4 inches?

And that the average vaginal canal is 7.9 inches.

Therefore, in this country alone,

there's over 17,000 miles

of unused virgin pussy out there.

- Come on, man! - What the fuck's

the matter with you?

Oh, man, this shit is true.

Did you actually do the math on that?

Yes, I did.

You have entirely way too much free time on your hands.

Where do you get this shit?

- It's common knowledge. - Hey, Danny.

Hi, Scarlet.

You still playing The Goat Friday night?

Yes I am.

You girls are gonna come, right?

I got the guy who signed Stevie Ray Vaughan

coming down to see my ass.

I got a package on it.

- What? - I don't think we can.

I gotta work Friday night,

and it's Lanie's last night of training.

Her last night of training,

what is this, the Olympics?

Come on, take the night off.

I'll train her myself.

Lanie, this is the universal sign for check.

- Danny- - Scarlet, I need this.

I figure if Sinatra made it big by paying off girls

to scream and faint and shit when he sang,

I gotta at least have a couple of hot girls

throwing their panties on the stage at my gig, right?

- We'll see. - I love you, mean it.

- Are you kidding me? - Man,

that chick has got body karate.

Hey, do you think her tits are real?

I hate chicks with fake tits.

Are you kidding me?

Fake tits are the greatest invention of the 20th century.

- Plus, they're safer. - Whoa, whoa, whoa, safer?

Yeah.

But do you know that 78% of all chicks

that have fake tits who are involved in boating accidents

do not drown?

- Where do you get this shit? - It's common knowledge.

Get the fuck out of here.

Now slowly, give me your gun

and all the money in your briefcase, nigga.

You messed with the wrong guy, motherfucker.

Payback's a bitch, ain't it?

My girlfriend, Tara, was a law school student

from the good side of the tracks,

and her parents had her living up here

in this fancy apartment for the last four years.

She didn't like me playing pool much.

And I didn't like me much when I didn't.

Now that I picked up a cue again,

I just hope she understands.

Oh no.

Johnny?

Yeah, baby.

I'm sorry I didn't call.

- I was just, I was- - Shh.

Oh, fuck, Jesus.

Fucking crap.

Did you forget something?

It's your boss' party tonight,

and I'm supposed to wear a suit, right?

It was my birthday last night, Johnny.

It was?

God damn you.

Why didn't you say something about it last night?

What's this?

You're playing again, aren't you?

So that's what's more important than me last night?

The fucking game?

I thought we were through with all that.

What about your job with Jack?

What about my job with Jack?

It didn't work out, all right?

Why?

What, do I look like a construction worker to you?

Gonna gimme an Indian and a cop,

and I'll sing you "YMCA."

Is that what you want?

You think I like living up here with you,

like some kind of kept man.

Breaking my back for peanuts,

while you pick up the check?

I play pool, Tara,

that's what I do.

You know, I beat a pro last night.

First time I picked up a cue in forever.

I sent him to the ATM three times.

My whole life I've been doing

what other people want me to do,

you, Joe, everybody.

Now I'm gonna do what I wanna do.

Is that why you play?

I mean, is it for the money?

You know me better than that.

Well, I'm not sure how well I know you,

but you're gonna start to get to know my foot in your ass,

if you think that you're gonna forget my birthday

and then make me feel sorry for you in the morning.

I just turned 30,

and I will be damned if I'm gonna let you screw me-

Oh, my God.

You rat bastard.

Yo, Mikey V, go get my stuff.

What, you hock that thing again?

I just needed a little cash for last night's game,

that's all.

Hey, V, you pawn motorcycles?

I pawn anything, you know that.

Hey, that's your guitar.

You're not supposed to pawn that.

Yeah, and he's got your pool cue back there.

You're not supposed to pawn that.

That's different.

- Why is that different? - Because it is.

Now, listen, if you need something,

I want you to come to me.

I don't want you hocking that thing again.

Yeah, that's not very practical, Johnny.

You're never around.

Well, I'll be around.

Yeah?

I'm playing at The Goat, Friday.

Think you can come around there?

Now, why you gotta say it like such a fucking asshole?

Just ask me nicely, and I'll be there.

- What time? - Eight o'clock.

Well, I'll be there at 08:00, all right?

We'll see.

Looks like you're getting pretty good at that thing, huh?

Yeah, I'm getting pretty good at a lot of things.

Better watch yourself,

I'll be coming after you soon.

Well, I'll be sure to keep my eyes open.

Look, I made a score last night,

so just take some- What're you doing, huh?

Just take this.

Hey, are you gonna embarrass me

in front of V?

Come on, you're my brother, not my mother.

And you should start looking out for yourself.

You're in here too.

Well, that's me,

that's not supposed to be you, all right?

I mean, I leave town for five minutes, V,

and this guy thinks he's some kinda hotshot pool shark

or something.

Yeah, well, I am.

No, you're not.

Yeah, I am.

No, you're not.

Yeah, I am.

Well, you, you know,

you should not be having your hands like that.

Why should I not have my hands up like that?

Because someone could just, I don't know.

Oh my goodness, is that horrible?

You know something.

You really wanna see some pool playing.

You should come down the state line with me,

check out the pros.

Good evening, ladies and gentlemen,

and welcome to the Olhausen Invitational

$100,0009-ball shootout.

I see a lot of familiar faces here tonight.

May your hands be steady and your aim be true.

Good luck.

Look at this.

Oh, you see that guy in the beard?

That's Robert Tobin.

Best bank shot in the game.

Big guy over there with the bushy eyebrows,

that's Bruce Kaner, the champ from Russia.

But the guy they're always chasing every year

for the title is that guy right there.

Bobby LeBlanc.

Yeah, the best in the game.

Look, watch the way he breaks.

Shit, three balls on the break.

Six-ball run, and he's out.

Is that what makes him so good?

I mean, with a break like that,

he's only plays six while others are playing nine.

Yeah well, there's a lot more to his game

than just his break.

I mean, watch the way he strokes the ball.

Smooth, never out of line.

When God invented pool players,

he made that guy right there.

Hey, Johnny, is that you?

Oh, St. Louis Louie, how you doing?

It's good to see you.

It's good to see you too.

What're you doing here?

I didn't see your name on the roster.

Oh, no, no, I'm not playing.

I'm just showing my brother, Danny,

what a real game of pool looks like.

What, you mean he's never seen you play before?

Yeah, like I said, a real game.

Don't let him fool you, kid.

Your brother can move the rock with the best of 'em.

I don't know about all that now.

I'm gonna go up and say hello to some of the boys,

y'all wanna come with me?

Yeah, sure, let's go.

Hey, what's he mean by the rock?

That's the cue ball, come on.

All right, fellas, clear the way.

I'm coming through.

Sorry, honey, there's no food in here.

Buffet's around the corner.

What're you laughing at, Shorty?

Tell me something, when you go to bed at night,

how do you keep your head from sliding off the pillow?

Listen, I wanna introduce you all to an old friend of mine.

This is Johnny Doyle, his big brother, Danny.

Charlie Banks over here, Boston Shorty,

and the legendary Jersey Red.

Jersey Red? Oh man, I've heard about you for years.

Oh yeah, what have you heard?

Oh, Red's got more stories than the Bible.

I once heard that you ran a rack of balls

with a nine iron.

It was a putter, son.

Took the sorry son of a bitch for 12,000.

What was your last name?

Doyle.

Used to be known as The Side Pocket Kid.

Oh, yeah, I heard of you.

You're the kid who took Bucktooth's Chevy.

You remember that?

Remember it? That was my car.

Bucktooth stole it from me.

Hey, it's not funny.

We were on the road together.

I pull off to take a piss.

He drives off, leaves me standing there

with my dick in my hand.

I loved that car.

I was glad he lost it to you.

Say, let me buy you a drink.

You want one, Louie?

Nah, not really.

I got a game shortly, and I gotta stay sharp.

Who's it with?

Greeks, you all want in?

Greeks? Shit, yeah, count me in.

Malaka, you're professional.

Last time you play, you beat me 10,000.

I shoot ball three times whole game.

Yeah, but I had my eight hours of sleep.

You know I don't play good when I'm tired, man.

What about your friend?

We play partner, $2,000 a man.

Who, him? I don't even know him.

He don't wanna play pool, anyway.

Ask him, ask him.

Hey, kid, you wanna play some pool?

Yeah, sure, I'll play.

I'll see if he's got any money.

You are so beautiful, man.

You've got 'em so turned around,

they don't know what to think.

Hey, Red, let me borrow your cue for a second, will ya?

What?

Johnny, I thought you knew

what we were trying to do here.

I'm trying to set him up for Red.

I thought you knew the move, Johnny.

No hard feelings, all right?

No, no, no, no, of course not, no.

Go ahead, go do your thing.

What's this?

He doesn't have any money,

but just to show you how fair I am,

I'll take the old shaky man over here as my partner.

Fine, you take old man, let's go.

Get balls.

I got your balls right here, you Greek bastard.

You don't wanna play this guy anyway.

He may be a jackass, but he plays pretty good.

Here, hold my coat, will you? Thanks.

Here, stick around.

Play some cards or something, all right?

Take a cab home, I'm gonna get out of here.

Hey, I wanna go with you, man.

Just do as I say, all right?

I made a Freudian slip yesterday.

Over breakfast, I meant to ask my wife to pass the butter,

but instead I said,

"You bitch, you've ruined my life."

That's lovely, excuse us.

My pleasure.

You're late.

You look fantastic.

You're still late.

What took you so long?

Honey, you didn't tell me

the guy lived in Sherwood Forest.

It took me an hour just to find the place.

I had to leave a whole trail of breadcrumbs along the way

to find my way back.

You don't look so bad yourself.

I can't believe I got you in a suit.

Ugh, me neither.

It's going back tomorrow.

I know how you hate these things.

Thank you for coming.

No problem.

Uh-uh, here comes the wicked witch of the world.

Brace yourself.

Be nice.

There you are.

I want you to meet some friends of mine.

Tara, this is Bernice and Laurence Winthrop.

- Hi. - Richard Illich,

and this is Brian Schwartz.

Everyone, this is Tara.

And John, hi, John.

I'm surprised to see you here,

what with your busy schedule and everything.

I can't believe you actually made it.

Yeah well, I did, Beth, all right, so relax.

No, John, really.

What has been keeping you so busy?

I know you're always fashionably late,

but I would just love to know

what actually kept us all waiting for you today.

Well, I've actually been here

for about an hour already, Beth, I just was outside,

helping the valets kick-start your broom.

They seemed to have trouble finding your keys.

I think that was the problem, right?

Beth, may I speak to you for a moment?

- John. - Ooh, hey.

I must say my curiosity is piqued.

What kind of business are you in?

Um, I kind of move money around.

Money management. Hard currency?

Generally.

It's a risky business.

What's your loss ratio?

Well, Larry, you know,

I don't lose money that often.

Really? What's your technique?

Let's just say I kind of take it

out of other people's pockets and put it in my pocket,

you know what I'm saying?

Oh, wow, okay, excuse me.

Excuse me, handsome.

You got anything in this joint besides champagne?

No, I didn't think so.

Lawyers' party, big deal, can't get a beer.

I'm going outside to get some smog.

What do you call a thousand lawyers

buried up to their neck in sand?

What?

Not enough sand.

- Hi, Mike Flynn. - John Doyle.

I saw you come in.

Good hair.

You, too.

Are we related?

Only kidding.

No, I retired last month,

so my friends drag me to these things.

They try to keep me busy.

What do you do?

I don't know, I guess you could say I'm self-employed.

That's good, it's wise.

When I was a kid, I figured out right away,

most companies pay people enough,

so as they don't quit.

People work hard enough,

so as they don't get fired.

You know, what's that?

Bullshit is what that is.

Yeah.

You play pool, Mike?

A little. Why do you ask?

'Cause you got a crease on your pants.

Whoa, John, I'm not sure I wanna be hanging out

with a guy who noticed a crease in my pants.

I didn't say "A crease in your pants,"

I said "A crease on your pants."

It's horizontal, below the pocket.

Now, normally, I might think

that that would come from bad dry-cleaning.

But a guy like you doesn't get bad dry-cleaning, do you?

Comes from playing pool.

When you lean against the table to take a shot,

table makes a slight crease in your pants.

Yours happens to be accentuated

by a little bit of blue chalk,

something only ever found on a pool table.

You're right, I've been playing pool.

Losing my ass all night

on that stupid table they got upstairs.

You say they got a table upstairs?

Yeah.

Come here.

All yours.

That's how we do it.

It's no fair playing a guy on his own table.

One more setup, Jack.

It's my party, you'll owe me.

No, that's it for me.

Tapped out, Jack?

Phil over here is a ringer.

Mike, you back for some more?

I'm just getting started.

Phil, that's a friend of mine, John Doyle.

Phil Stein, it's his house.

John, nice to see you.

You shoot pool?

I play a little.

Well, we've been playing a little, doubles, 8-ball,

But everybody here seems to be tapped out.

You and Mike wanna take him on?

Sure, why not double the stakes?

Are you sure you could afford it?

You're down quite a bit right now, Mike.

I'd be careful if I were you.

I don't have a lot of money on me tonight.

It's okay, I'll cover us both.

Let's play, like children.

This one's for all the marbles, boys.

Maybe, if I just.

I guess even a blind squirrel

can find a nut every once in a while.

What are you trying to say, Phil?

I'm not trying to say anything.

I'm just saying that shot was luck.

You couldn't make that shot again

in a million years.

I don't have to make it again in a million years,

I made it just now.

I'm saying it was luck.

Nobody can make that shot, it's impossible.

I can.

What's that?

Set 'em up, I'll make it.

I'll even make it one-handed.

Oh, oh, did I stutter?

Everybody got all quiet and shit.

About a minute ago, it was like an Elk's Lodge meeting

up in this motherfucker.

Now all of a sudden it's quiet as a church.

Hey, Mike, who is this guy?

You're um, you're not serious, are you?

Of course I'm serious, what's it worth to you?

You're down quite a bit right now, Phil,

I'd be careful if I were you.

One hand?

All right, I'll, I'll bet you anything you want.

Anything?

All right.

You have a young paralegal that works for you.

She's about to take the bar.

Now, even though I'm sure she's great at what she does,

I think she's gonna make an even better lawyer.

I say this, if I make that shot,

you gotta give her a job as a lawyer in your firm.

One year, no special treatment.

Just a job and a chance to prove herself.

That's ridiculous.

We scout the top law school graduates

from all over the country for that job.

It starts at six figures, plus benefits.

Tell me, what the hell are you gonna put up against that

if you miss?

Phil, how about my new Benz?

It's got a can't-get-lost system, it's beautiful.

Phil, I know you want it.

You can own it.

All right, you got balls, kid.

Set it up.

Thanks.

So what do you say?

Come back to my boat, a little wine,

a little dancing.

You should see the moon over the water,

it's intoxicating.

Will your wife be there?

Honey, honey, honey,

you never gonna believe what just happened.

Excuse me, can't you see I'm talking to the lady?

Yeah well, now you're not, all right, pal, so beat it.

Where the hell have you been?

I've been looking for you all night.

I know, I know, I've been upstairs,

I got this whole story I've got to tell you,

it's unbelievable.

Listen, can't you see she doesn't wanna talk to you?

Come on, Tara, let's go.

I'm not going anywhere with you.

Who the fuck is this?

He's a lawyer in our firm, all right,

he's just a little drunk.

I don't care who he is.

You talk to my girl again like that,

I'm gonna take your teeth out with a fucking pair of pliers,

you understand?

Johnny, you can not talk to him like that,

you're gonna get me fired.

Sweetheart, I can talk to him any kind of way I want.

Good playing, kiddo.

You had Phil shaking

like a dog shitting peach seeds.

Here's your end, and here's my card.

You come across action like that again,

count me in.

You know him?

You know him?

You hustled my boss?

Well, of course you did.

Why should tonight be any different?

You can't do anything

without playing an angle, can you, Johnny?

I'm sorry, Uncle Mike.

I shouldn't have brought him here.

- That's your Johnny. - This Uncle Mike?

No, you don't understand, sweetheart-

No, I understand.

You think about one thing.

You care about one thing, and it is not me.

Honey, please don't go.

- Hey, pal. - Hey, get the fuck off me.

Are you crazy?

Women, you can't even live with them anymore.

So, what about you?

I'll give you the keys,

and you can stay overnight at the office.

Thanks, Nick.

Well, what are you gonna do?

Gonna give up pool and try to go back to her?

I gotta tell you something.

I don't think you can give up the game,

because you love it too much.

I don't know, Nick, Joe messed me up pretty good.

No, Joe had nothing to do with it,

for Christ's sake.

Trouble with you, you played so many bums,

you almost became a bum yourself.

And you're not.

You're suffering from a minor-league syndrome,

you understand?

And you gotta pull your ass out of that.

I mean, Tang and Danny, they don't belong in this place.

They don't belong in the world of pool,

but you do, for Christ's sakes.

You have one of the most natural talents

in that arm I've ever seen in my life.

And what do you do?

You walk around pretending,

"I don't deserve it."

But you do deserve it,

don't you understand that?

That's a waste.

It's one of the biggest wastes in the world,

because you have the ability to be the best.

You come here.

You go around thinking you're a loser,

and, boy, you'll become a loser.

And pretty soon the only people you'll be able to beat

are those people who think

they're bigger losers than you are.

Think it over.

Johnny! Don't you fucking move.

Don't you move.

You're gonna shoot me, Joe? Go ahead.

You killed me a long time ago.

You ungrateful fucking prick.

You don't remember, do you?

Where would you be without me?

I found you on the street,

living above the arcade with the fucking rats.

Your mother didn't care about you,

your father didn't care about you,

but I did, I was your father.

I bought you shoes, I bought you clothes.

I cleaned you up.

I taught you a skill.

I taught you the game.

The car you drive, the women you're with,

everything you are, you are because of me.

And what's that, Joe?

A fucking con man, a liar?

Someone who knows how to fuck you

before you fuck me?

Well, I don't wanna be that anymore.

You owe me.

I don't owe you fucking shit.

And don't give me this bullshit

about how you did it for me,

'cause you did it for yourself.

You saw a meal ticket in me,

and you fucking cashed it, Joe.

You fucking cashed it.

But you sold me out cheap, man.

You never gave me a chance.

What, you think I'd get too big for you?

Like I wouldn't need you anymore?

Well, I needed you, Joe, I needed you a lot.

Because, you know what, you're right.

My father never gave a fuck about me.

I needed you to be my father.

You don't like the way that tastes,

go on down and go ahead and fucking shoot me.

You're a tough guy, you can do it.

You were never good enough to be a pro, Johnny.

At 14, they would've chewed you up.

You should thank me, I saved you.

- Maybe he's gay. - I think he might be.

Are you gay? That's cool.

I am not gay.

- A little loud. - Look, I just,

I just, I think girls are a little weird, that's all.

Like, all right, this weekend,

I'm over at this chick's house, right,

28 years old and she's still

with the whole stuffed animals on the bed thing.

Don't you find that a little strange?

Chris, all chicks do that stuffed animal thing.

They're chicks, they're fucking weird.

You just can't let that shit bother you.

- Scoot over, peanut brother. - Dude, what happened, bra?

What the fuck did you do to your fucking hand?

- Fuck. - Jesus Christ.

I was drunk and slammed it in the door of my car.

Man, you gotta go see a doctor.

I'll go, it's all right.

You want me to take you?

No. No, no, I'm good.

I came here to talk to Max, actually.

What's up?

Well, I figured with my hand all broke up like this

I probably should get a job,

'cause I won't be shooting pool no more, right?

You are drunk.

How can I help?

Well, I figured since you're the only one

of these degenerates who's got a job,

maybe I might ask that you put in a word

with that Merv guy, or something.

Merv? You fucking kidding me?

He's not the kinda guy you'd want to work for, nah.

Why?

He's kind of a fucking asshole.

So, how bad could it be?

- No, no. - Come on, Merv,

he's a good friend of mine.

Then definitely no.

You think I want anybody else like you working here?

Next thing you know, it'll be mutiny at Merv's.

And then they'll find me face down

in a puddle of blue toilet water.

But you want a good salesman, don't you?

I mean, the sign in your office says right there-

I know what the sign says.

Look, did you ever sell motor homes before?

No.

Do you ever sell cars before?

No.

Have you ever sold anything before?

No.

Then why the hell should I hire you?

- Because I got ESPN. - ESP.

ESP.

What the hell you two talking about?

You know, Dionne Warwick,

Psychic Friends, all that business?

I think it'll be a tremendous asset for a salesman

to know exactly what a customer's thinking

at all times, don't you?

It would be, but I don't believe in that shit.

- You don't? - No, I don't.

Well, then let me prove it to you.

How?

I don't know, let's um, let's make a bet.

What kind of bet?

Johnny, don't. Remember what happened last time?

Whoa, whoa, what happened the last time?

Nothing, just let's forget about it.

We'll go somewhere else.

No, no, no, no, no,

I'm tired of people not believing

in my psychic abilities here.

I'll tell you what, Merv,

I bet you I can tell where you got your shoes.

If I can do that, you give me a job, all right?

If not, I don't know, you can have my ring.

He never gets the first one right.

Will you shut up?

Fine, okay, you got yourself a bet.

Sounds good to me.

Why don't you guys shake on it?

But you'll never get that job, Johnny,

and I'll tell you why.

I got these shoes when I was on a cruise,

when I was in international waters.

So no matter what you say, you're gonna lose.

But I never said I could tell you

where you bought your shoes, Merv.

I said I can tell you where you got 'em.

And right now, you got your shoes on your feet.

Oh, hate it when that happens.

How's today for you, Johnny?

Can you start today?

Hi, this is Tara, leave a message.

Tara, pick up the phone, will you, please?

Sweetheart, please pick up the phone.

I'm tired of leaving messages on your answering machine.

Hello? Hello, hello, hello, hello?

I'm just gonna leave you ridiculous shit

on your message machine

until you run out of tape, okay?

Tara, pick up the phone. Hello?

All right, what do you want?

Oh, who is this, Beth?

Yes.

Well, I wanna speak to Tara.

Tara doesn't wanna speak to you.

Beth, put Tara on the phone for me,

will you, please?

It's important, I need to speak with her.

- No. - God damn it, Beth.

Don't take that tone with me, Johnny.

Beth, there's something I have to say to her.

It's very important.

Well, then tell me, and maybe I'll give her the message.

- Beth! - Bye, Johnny.

No, no, wait, wait, whoa, whoa, wait, hold on.

Um, um, um, um, um, okay, can you take a message for me?

- Yeah. - Okay, great.

Get a pen and paper.

Do you have one handy?

Right here.

Now, you have it in your hand?

Write this down for me, will you, please?

We gotta follow our dreams, right?

Right.

We live for the moment, right?

- Right. - Right.

You gotta love what you doing while you're living,

'cause tomorrow you could go outside

and get hit by a truck, right?

Right.

So I'm doing the right thing

when I take all the money my family's saved

their entire lives for me to go to college with,

and use it to bankroll myself on the road, right?

You're not serious.

He's serious.

I can't believe I'm hearing this.

Would you please do something about this?

I've been talking to him all day,

but his dumb ass won't listen.

Well, in that case, I think if he's got his mind made up,

there's no talking him out of it,

there's only one thing left to do,

we got to send the man out in style.

Party, Chris's house, tomorrow night.

His parents are out of town.

Hey, hey, hey, Robin Hood,

thank you for donating my place.

But I'm sorry, no, my parents

just got brand-new white carpeting.

Anything gets on that thing and I am a dead man.

There is no way we could possibly have

a party at my house, no.

Could everyone please stand on the plastic?

Hi, what's going on? How're you doing, yeah?

Hey, hey, what's going on? Hi.

Can I get you guys a beer?

How you doing?

What's up, doc?

Listen, man, the key to picking up women

is very simple.

Old Spice and Aqua Velva.

Are you kidding?

That's the shit my dad uses.

Exactly, dumb ass, that's what I'm trying to tell you.

This is the old-school shit.

What the fuck are you looking at?

It's cool.

But it just seems like everybody I meet nowadays

is just weird, you know?

Oh, what's up, my man?

I find myself wanting to meet a girl

who is completely normal, for a change.

You don't have any tattoos, do you?

- No. - Good.

Sweetheart, come on, jacuzzi, you'll love it.

What the hell are you doing?

Eating pop rocks, drinking a pop.

Are you out of your fucking mind?

What's the matter with you?

Don't you know a kid died like that?

Wait, um, wait, wait, wait a minute, wait a minute.

What?

Um, do you have any stuffed animals on your bed?

No, of course not.

Okay, that's good, okay, yeah, all right.

Wait, wait, what are you doing?

Choke me.

What?

Choke me, I like it.

Oh, my God.

Whoa, ah, yeah.

That's just, Jesus.

Yo, Romeo, grab a brew and relax.

That's easy for you to say, Jesus.

Where's Tang?

Last time I saw him,

I think he was adopted by a 12-year-old boy.

Seriously, man, I just can't believe

he's really going out on the road.

Me neither.

He has no idea what the fuck he's in for.

I think that's kind of the point.

Yeah, but he doesn't realize

the situation that he's in.

I mean, it's not about the money, man.

He's gambling with his future.

If he fucks this up, then he can regret it

for the rest of his life.

What's he got in the box, anyway?

- 40,000. - What? 40 grand?

And you morons didn't try to talk him out of it?

What the fuck's the matter with you?

Johnny, I tried to talk to him.

He's so jonesed about this, he doesn't listen to any us.

He's just trying to be like you, man.

- All right, guys. - You get 'em, baby.

You go get 'em, Tang.

All right, it's me against the world, baby.

Yeah, baby.

You go shoot some stick, now, boss.

Yeah, baby.

Think he'll last a month?

I'll give you 3-to-1.

- I'll take it. - All right.

Who is next?

That's what I'm talking about, baby.

Okay, mister.

I didn't even have any of it, you know.

Sh, no, no, bye-bye.

Anybody else? I'm game.

Anybody in here play for money?

What do you play for?

What do you got?

I play 20 a game.

How about we play 100?

And I'll give you four balls off the table.

You play 8-ball?

We usually play 9-ball round here,

but if you wanna give me four balls off the table,

all right, you got a game.

Put it up.

Call it.

Heads.

Take 'em down.

Do it again?

Put it up.

What's going on?

This fucker's giving Chris four balls off the table

- for 100 a rack. - Four balls off the table?

Since when does Chris play 8-ball?

I don't know. Why?

'Cause four balls off the table's

the biggest hustle in the world.

All Chris is doing is getting his balls out of the way,

so this fucker can shoot.

That's game. Do it again?

One more time.

Hey, what's up?

I'm about to beat this guy's ass, that's what's up.

Yeah, how much you down?

- 200. - 200?

We've played two games

and I haven't had a chance to shoot yet.

As soon as he fucks up, I'm gonna be on his ass.

Aren't you forgetting something?

I'm on in like an hour, let's go.

He's giving me four balls off the table,

- for Christ's sake. - Let's go.

He's hustling you.

All right, this guy's a fucking hustler, let's go.

Take 'em down.

All right, Max, let's go.

Whoa, we can't leave Chris here.

I mean, what if the fucker tries to start something?

No, he's gonna learn his lesson, let's go.

Hey, I'll see you later, don't be late.

Come on, ugh, I hate choosing.

I'm such a bitch.

Let's get to work!

All right, man.

Man, you was really good tonight.

Yeah, thanks, Harold.

Too bad no one will ever know.

Hey, thanks for coming, I appreciate that.

Don't tell me, you lost.

Hey, I know, I fucked up, okay?

Yeah, you fucked up, man.

God dammit, how much you lose?

Two grand.

What the fuck are you doing here?

I'm waiting for you, Danny.

Now that Johnny's gone,

you're the top dog around here.

Maybe you want to step up.

You ain't welcome around here no more, Joe.

Nick says you're out.

You tell Nick, I'll burn this place to the fucking ground

if he thinks I'm out.

And you tell your brother Johnny,

when he gets his hand out of that cast I put him in,

that I'm on his game too.

You did that to his hand?

Yeah, what the fuck are you gonna do?

Fuck! It's fucking bullshit, man.

All right, we can't let these cocksuckers

come into our pool room and push us around.

We gotta do something.

Like what, Danny?

Joe's a fucking psycho, he'll kill us.

Yeah, then we gotta find a way

to beat him at his own game.

Yeah well, that sounds great and everything,

but in case you didn't notice,

Joe's got like this demon fucking pool fiend with him.

The guy never misses, he's unconscious.

Maybe we'll get Johnny to play.

Fuck that, all right, Johnny's out of his mind.

He's got chick drama and a broken hand.

All right, no, anybody's gonna step up, it's gonna be me.

Are you deaf? Did you not just hear me?

The guy never misses.

He just destroyed me.

Yeah, Chris, I destroy you.

Okay, look, this is different, the guy's really good.

All right, then I'll play him on table four.

All right, nobody knows how that table rolls better than me.

That's true, table four does roll pretty fucked up.

Yeah, you wanna know why?

'Cause I'm the one who put the matchbox under the leg.

- Motherfucker. - Give me

my fucking 100 bucks back.

And we're gonna have to pawn your car too, Chris.

I need some extra money to throw around

to put the pressure on these guys.

Wait, wait, wait a minute, pawn my car?

No, I, no, this isn't gonna happen,

'cause you're not gonna pawn my car.

It's just for one day.

Are you out of your fucking mind?

No, I'm sorry, there's no way I'm gonna let you do this.

In a million years,

you are never gonna pawn my car.

Let's go, Phil, 500 a hole.

Let's get cracking.

Hold your horses, Mike, I gotta call my wife

and tell her I'll be stuck in traffic

for at least a week.

Mr. Stein, you forgot to sign these.

Oh, thank you.

- Hey. - Huh, that's great.

You know, I need to talk to you.

I need to talk to the both of you.

Phil, remember that bet you made?

Well, this is the last time I'm gonna call you, so.

I don't know, if you change your mind,

or if you ever, ever, ever check your machine

then you'll know where to find me.

All right, bye-bye.

I am not having a good day.

Oh, every day is a good day, kid.

Just try missing one once.

I gotta go, I gotta get some felt for the tables.

I'll be gone a couple of hours.

All right, keep an eye on the castle.

You got it.

Here, here's the keys.

Make sure you lock up before you leave, all right?

Back off her.

- Ma'am. - Hey, Nick.

- Hi. - Hey.

What happened to your hand?

I cut myself shaving.

Why didn't you tell me

what you did for me that night?

Because you spend so much time

always thinking that I'm such an asshole

that you never see any of the good things that I do.

But all I wanna to do is give you the one thing

that I knew you wanted more than anything in the world,

the only way I knew how.

The only thing I've ever wanted was you.

I love you.

Wait, wait, wait.

There's something I have to tell you.

What?

I'm a motor home salesman now.

I know, I heard.

What do you mean you heard?

I saw you in the window, with a tie.

What, are you stalking me now?

No, you almost made a sale.

I almost came.

Why are you gonna stalk me?

I just missed you, baby.

I missed you too.

Hey, you guys want some action?

I'll be at Hard Times, table four, tonight.

You can't miss me, I'll be the one whipping your ass.

Say, what's the weather like, lately, you know?

I haven't been outside.

See, what you wanna do, Brad,

is that your name, Brad?

You wanna stroke it, not poke it.

Oh, look how pretty that, oh, God.

Yeah, I move 'em around pretty good, myself.

This is too easy.

Say, can you, can you get that money up there?

My arm is, thanks, appreciate it.

500, baby, easy as fucking pie.

That's my boy.

Where'd you get that stick, man?

Is that Johnny's cue?

Yeah, well, he ain't using it,

so I sort of borrowed it.

Danny, be careful, man.

There's something strange going on here.

He's not playing you the same way he played me.

Well, of course not, dummy.

I'm a lot better player than you are.

Here he comes.

Nice table.

Oh, you like that? Thanks.

Why don't we switch tables

and why don't we double the bet?

No, I say we play on this table or I quit.

That's the deal.

You're such a punk.

Fine, let's double the bet.

That sounds good.

You weren't breast-fed, were you?

Rack 'em, Joe, my finger's so'.

Dead rail, I can't believe that.

- We're four man. - Come on.

This guy's got us playing on this fucked-up table.

What's your deal, huh?

Are you gonna play, are you gonna cry about it

like a fucking baby?

Bet five grand,

this chimp sure can't beat me three sets in a row.

Just shut up, it ain't your money, all right?

It's half my money.

You want out, I'll play him on my own.

Danny, Danny, Danny,

you can not fire an air barrel with these guys,

how you gonna cover if you lose?

I'm not gonna fucking lose.

I'm in this guy's head.

Don't be a fucking idiot.

We don't have the money.

Get the fuck out of here.

Fine, five grand, you call it.

You call.

Tails.

So you won a fucking break.

Big fucking deal.

Pay up, five grand.

Where's the money, huh?

Where's the money, tough guy.

Hey, hey, fuck, hold on.

Get the fuck outta here,

you punk-ass bastards.

Get outta here. Go!

Listen to me, the money, 24 hours.

Or next time I come back angry.

You son of a bitch, that's enough!

I'll tell you when it's enough.

No, no!

No, fuck!

Jesus Christ, what the hell are you?

Fuck, Danny!

Freeze, put your hands in the air!

Get them up in the air so we can see them!

Come on, let's see them hands!

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Hey, Nick, what's going on?

Hey, what's wrong?

Danny's in jail.

What happened?

He crapped out firing an air barrel at Brad last night.

How much?

Five Gs, he's stuck for half of it.

And it gets worse.

When Joe found out that Danny couldn't cover

then he leaned on him pretty heavy,

beat the shit out of him,

put a gun to his head and he said,

"You got 24 hours to come up with the money."

That's when Danny went crazy,

tried to knock over Sal's.

What?

He's in County Jail, it's $25,000 bail.

We got to get him out, right? Nick?

I'm sorry, kid.

I just don't have that kind of money.

All I got is my dad's plastic.

I ain't got nothing.

I can call my dad.

- No. - What are you gonna do?

I'm gonna go get my brother, come on.

Yeah? Hey, Nick, yeah, he's here.

Yo, Detroit, you got action.

Come here, give me the fucking thing.

Fuck.

Fuck!

Nick, anything on the bankroll?

Nothing, de nada.

Hey, Max, why don't you take over?

Come on, set 'em up.

How's the arm?

Horrible.

- You ready? - Yeah, I'm ready.

Let's play the first set for 5,000.

All right, fine.

Fine, call it.

No, the money first, put it up.

What's the matter, Joe?

You don't think I'm good for it?

Put the money on the lights.

No, now, I think you know me

a little bit better than that, Joe.

I know you too well, Johnny boy.

I'm not gonna fall for any of your old tricks.

The money.

All right, fine, just give me a second, all right?

Nick, what the hell are we working with here?

It's about 5,500.

Christ!

I got one barrel, no cue.

How the hell do I like it?

It's okay, it's all right, we're covered.

Jesus Christ, where'd you get that?

I'm the rich kid, right?

Don't worry about it.

Hey, are we playing here, or what?

Yeah, we're playing.

Hey, Joe, how about we play this one for 10,000, huh?

Ten's my favorite number.

Nice cue, you shooting with that?

No, that's not his cue, smart ass.

He's shooting with this.

Fuck.

Well, Johnny, you wanted a pro, you got one.

He's ranked 13th in the country.

You don't stand a shot against him.

You had enough yet?

Rack 'em.

Oh, Christ, Nick, the kid's good,

but he's not that good.

You're just getting started.

Yeah, but it's just cost us 10 grand

to get me started.

You listen to me.

I know this type of guy, I know from my past experience.

This son of a bitch is not a stayer, you understand?

He'll crack sooner or later.

When he cracks, you'll win. Have faith.

Have faith.

Okay, you're covered.

I'm covered?

What the hell kind of ATM you got?

Thanks, Chris.

Fuck!

This is so sad.

Wait here, I'm not done yet.

I know, I know, I know, I think

he's just getting warmed up right now.

Just give us another 10, maybe we can.

Yo, you motherfucker!

Johnny, Johnny, Johnny.

Johnny, Johnny, Johnny.

How could you do this?

- Johnny! - This is Tang, man!

It's fucking Tang.

He don't got no fucking credit cards and no Cadillac.

You give me this rich-kid bullshit.

You got me in there pissing away his future.

Johnny, Johnny, what the fuck are you doing?

What am I, a baby?

Like I had no say in this?

My friend was in trouble, I came to help.

What the fuck, man?

Tang bails out Danny now

and then pays off his debt, he's out almost 30 Gs,

and then he's broke too.

So what the fuck?

You know what, all right, all right,

we took a chance, we just took a fucking chance.

Yeah, come on, we never thought you'd lose.

Here, man, take this.

Nah, keep your money.

Well, what are you gonna do?

Come on, Johnny, just take the money, I'm sorry!

All right, Joe, what do you say we bump the bet?

Play this one for 20.

How much you got up there, John?

You wouldn't be flashing me no nigger roll, would you?

'Cause that don't look like no 20,000.

As long as we're doing this,

why not play for 50?

I've been looking for him all day.

We're not too late, are we?

No, perfect.

Sorry I'm late, John. Hi, how you doing?

Who are you?

I'm his backer.

What do you say you match what I got,

and we play till somebody takes it all?

20 is okay.

Are you sure, Joe?

Raise the five to 20.

Put it up.

Oh, hey, all right.

Well, at least you got Tang's money back, you know.

Yeah, but my brother's still in jail.

Come here, come here, get over here.

Put him the fuck out, come on.

- I got him. - Come on.

Bet 40,000!

Fine, good, even better.

Go ahead, shoot 'em.

Don't miss.

Fuck this back-and-forth bullshit.

It's a big waste of time.

You wanna put it all up, Mr. Backer man?

Huh, come on, last set, shoot it all.

Raise to nine for 80,000.

I'm betting this big-time action

brings out the dog in your boy, over there.

Did I, did I, did I just stutter or something?

Did I just stutter?

A few minutes ago, it was like a pool hall

in this motherfucker, now it's as quiet as a church.

Is this your first time in a pool hall,

Mr. Backer man, is that it?

Your clothes getting a little mashed?

Let me tell you something.

When you walk outta here,

you'll have the smell of this place on your skin for a week.

Every time you put on that suit,

you will think of me taking your money.

'Cause I'm the only one in this room

who knows how fast your boy can run over there.

You wanna know why? 'Cause I bred him.

How the fuck does that make you feel,

to be in that position,

with all your money on the table?

How much you got, Joe?

- What? - Total.

You put down 80,000 like it didn't matter.

That's a lot of money for somebody

like you and him, I think it matters.

What's the difference?

I'm a millionaire, that's the difference.

I lose 80, I get another 80.

For me, it doesn't matter.

See, I think it's you

who's sweating this, the both of yous.

People in pool rooms don't come across

this kind of take but once in a lifetime.

And now you're gonna

put it all on the line against John,

'cause you think he's gonna choke?

I don't think so.

I think he's gonna choke.

You wanna shoot it all, let's shoot it all.

How much you got in your pocket?

I got a couple of thousand.

You?

500.

- What about your ring? - What?

How much for your ring?

You want my ring?

You said it, Joe, "Shoot it all."

What's it worth to you?

I paid 2,800 for it.

3,000, covered.

I'm gonna leave you with nothing.

Nick, make sure, please, it's all there.

I'm gonna have a drink. You want a drink?

All right.

You watch those nature documentaries on the cable?

Yeah.

You see the one about lions?

Yeah.

Got this lion.

He's the king of the jungle.

Huge mane, out to here.

He's laying down under a tree,

in the middle of Africa.

He's so big. He's so hot.

He doesn't wanna move.

Now, the little lion cubs,

they start messing with him.

Biting his tail, biting his ears.

He doesn't do anything.

The lioness, she starts messing with him.

Coming over, making trouble, still nothing.

Now, the other animals, they notice this

and they start to move in, the jackals.

Hyenas.

They're barking at him, laughing at him.

They nip his toes

and eat the food that's in his domain.

They do this and they get closer and closer and bolder,

till one day, that lion gets up

and tears the shit out of everybody,

runs like the wind,

eats everything in his path.

'Cause every once in a while,

the lion has to show the jackals who he is.

It's too late to be scared.

It's time to kill.

I'm going in the other room.

You come out when you're ready.

Don't beat him. Kick his ass.

Watch this 2-ball go down.

Fuck.

Fuck, that's fucking bullshit!

I can't fucking believe this.

I don't know, Nick, I think I gotta bank it.

There's nothing else I can do.

You can do it, it's a two-rail safety.

I think you're right, thanks, Nick.

Good shot.

- Yeah. - Take that,

you motherless motherfuckers, yes!

Stop, stop, stop, stop, easy, easy, no, no, no.

Shit! Shit

All right, shoot the shot already, it's an easy shot.

Yeah, easy shot, my ass.

Shows how much you know about the game.

I can't believe I'm playing with somebody so fucking stupid.

Hey, look, I ain't biting on any

of your South Side shark techniques, so shut up.

The shot can't be made, Brad.

Believe me, I'd rather have you shoot this shot than me.

Yeah, me too.

- Come on! - Hey, bullshit.

If you think it's so easy,

why don't you get up here and shoot it?

Believe me, I wish I could.

With a shot like that,

I'd even pay you to shoot it.

How much is it worth to you, Johnny boy?

What are you trying to say?

Well, you think you can make it.

I say it can't be made.

I don't want him shooting it.

So why don't you walk over there and speak to Daddy Warbucks

and see how much it's worth to you?

Listen, I don't gotta ask nobody nothing.

That's a tough fucking shot.

It's worth, maybe, I don't know, a couple hundred bucks.

A couple hundred bucks.

We're playing for 100 big ones

and you wanna offer me a couple hundred?

Offer me five diamonds,

and then maybe I'll think about it.

What are you saying, Joe?

You don't wanna go home broke

once John makes this shot.

Listen, mister, all due respect, but save your money,

'cause you don't know the game.

The shot can't be made.

It's up to you.

Joe, here's your gas money.

You're gonna need it.

Excuse me.

Fuck!

What the hell were you thinking, huh?

I told you you couldn't make the shot.

Ho, what are you doing?

I'm taking my shot.

No, see,

I just paid $5,000 for your shot.

Now it's my shot.

Hey, listen, you can't do that,

you can't do that.

- He can't do that. - He just did.

This is bullshit!

It's not any old tricks

you should have been looking out for, Joe.

This is bullshit, man, this is fucking bullshit.

Here, this is what my brother owes you.

Fuck you.

Joe, you and I got some unfinished business.

The rest of y'all clear out.

It's about to get rowdy in this motherfucker.

Go, Joe.

A game like that, you should be on the tour.

Yeah well, I don't think

you'd want me beating you every week.

Hey, you didn't beat me. I got hustled.

Well, maybe you did, maybe you didn't.

I guess I'm a hustler, huh?

Doesn't have to stay that way.

Think about it.

Wanna get outta here?

Okay, let's go get your brother.

Wait, we're not going in that.

What are we going in?

We're going in that.

That's my Uncle Mike's car.

Not anymore, come on.

Okay, boys, you ready?

Yeah.

Oh, go, go.

Yeah.

Max, Max.

Okay, I'm all right, I'm all right.

Jesus Christ.

- All right. - I'm telling you, right now,

no way those are real.

What we need is a plastic surgeon.

Whoa, whoa, shut up.

We need a consensus, all right? Tang?

They've gotta be real, there's no scar.

I'm going with God on this one.

Tang, are you fucking retarded?

They got laser technology now.

They can remove scars, plus God created plastic surgery.

100% fake.

- Chris? - I don't know,

it's a shot in the dark, but I'm gonna go with real.

All right, I can't leave Max hanging on this.

All right, they look amazing but a little too amazing.

I'll have to say store-bought.

All right! Is that your final answer?

- Want to take the 50-50? - No.

Audience choice?

- Come on. - All right, okay.

All right, Scarlet, here's the moment of truth.

Are they real, or are they Memorex?

They're real.

I knew it!

Scarlet, they feel hard as a rock.

Never go swimming, you'll drown.