Original subtitles

M�v and Funder

Hey, M�v! Do you want to come and play?

No. I can't. I'm waiting for my dad.

- Hello, this is Palle S�rensen. - It's me.

- Could you ring me back on 31 24 85 79? - 24...

- 85 79. - Okay.

When are you going to come? You should have been here half an hour ago.

- Didn't you get my message? - No.

See, I can't make it. Birgitta has sent me a plane ticket.

So I'm going to see her in Stockholm for the whole weekend.

I've tried to call several times. The plane leaves in half an hour.

Listen, I'll bring you back some liquorice. I've gotta go. Have a nice time.

- Are you still there? - Yes.

Well, see you.

You didn't see a thing. Do you understand? Otherwise you're dead.

You didn't see anything. Got it?

And now: "I'm talking to myself"

THE MONKEY

I'm talking to myself, talking about my bad luck.

- Weren't you going to stay with Palle? - No.

We decided to postpone it till next weekend.

- Postpone it? - Yes.

Then you'll be home alone. Mark's coming in about 10 minutes.

That's okay.

If they call from the agency, just tell them I've sent the drawings.

If they call from the hospital, tell them I'll pay grandma's bills soon.

Ow!

- You've blown a fuse. - Could you fix it, Martin?

You're really clever. Don't touch that. It could kill you.

We have to change it.

They're on top of the box.

- We need one of the small ones. - It's probably best if you do it.

And can you be a sweet and take the garbage down?

Make yourself a sandwich. There's some cheese in the fridge.

- Oh, man. You know I hate cheese. - I didn't know you'd be home.

I won't eat it.

- Hi, M�v. - Hi, Rikke.

- Are you going to the garbage room? - Mmm...

Why are you such a baby?

Hey. What are you doing here?

Do you know if there's a tap down here, well?

Fuck, man!

We've got a tap in the apartment.

- I could get some. - No, never mind.

I...

I had a fight with a guy at The Monkey. That's why I'm here.

You wouldn't happen to know if there's a place where I could stay?

Where?

In there. In our box room.

Can you give me a hand? I fell on some broken glass.

- Are you scared? - No, no.

Fuck, man. It's a bitch being crippled, no?

You've gotta take care of your body and your freedom.

That's the only thing to cling to.

Your freedom.

And your body, no?

Relax, kid. It wouldn't have made it anyway.

- Is this your room? - Mmmm.

I'll just stick around for an hour or so.

Do you read these?

Well... they were just lying around.

What would you do if you found out that your girl was too stiff?

Make her wet between the legs.

They really are the worst! The Mills Brothers.

They're my dad's.

What are you doing?

Thinking.

Are you sure there's no water down here?

- Can I trust you? - Yes...

Then get me something to drink. Or something to eat.

And if anybody should ask, then you haven't seen me. Got it?

Not even if you mom or dad should ask.

Mark got here while you were gone. Sorry about the cheese. See you.

- Just look at her. - Look at them tits. Far out!

- Hey, M�v. Come and have a look. - I wanna see!

Far out, no? Check them out. She's an animal.

You've got someone else on your mind. Sweet little Rikke.

Lickey Rikke, lickey-split.

- That's all we had. - It's great. Cheese is great.

Please hand me the coke.

You've got to go to the hospital.

Ahh, it doesn't matter. You've gotta take it to the limit.

Coke is American distilled water.

It's just as good as medical care.

It's alright, man.

Thanks to you.

Say, that knife... Can I have a look at it?

Yes. If the match bends upwards.

Then you can look at it.

But if it bends downwards, then you can't.

Okay?

Okay.

Shit, you imbecile. Are you trying to scare the life out of me?

No. I just thought I could give you a hand.

- You'll just drop it on the floor. - No, no, I won't do that.

- What are you doing down here? - Nothing.

You've got to be doing something.

Yes. But it's a secret.

- I thought you were the stabber. - What stabber?

The one the police are looking for.

- He stabbed a guy at The Monkey. - Did he die?

No. But he had to go into surgery and everything.

- He's probably far away by now. - No, they say he's wounded.

So you'd better lock your door.

- Hi. - Hi...

- What have you been up to? - Nothing.

- What do you mean "nothing"? - Nothing.

- Did you really stab somebody? - Where did you hear that?

A girl told me. But I didn't say anything.

- For sure? - Did you just stab him?

No. He came at me with a knife. It was in self-defence.

Then why don't you tell the police that?

They won't believe me. You've gotta take it to the limit, no?

Do you want to see the knife?

Just press the button.

- Do you want to stay here? - Yes.

Forever?

As long as you'll let me hang around.

My name is Funder.

My name is Martin. But just call me M�v.

Okay, M�v.

How old are you?

22.

My dad's 35.

Really? How about you? How old are you?

- 12. Going on 13. - When's your birthday?

You know, I just feel great when I'm with him.

Yes, exactly that.

I'm just so happy. He's fantastic. Just incredible.

Just a sec.

I'll call you back later, okay?

What have you been up to?

Did you drink all of this?

Stay there.

- It'll bloody stay down, man. - It's rising.

- It'll stay down, you little liar. - Nope, it's rising.

- Shit, dammit, man! - Piss!

Hello, kids. I'm from the police.

There was a, there... was a stabbing at The Monkey yesterday.

Have you seen this guy?

His name is Funder.

And he's really dangerous.

He's been in the joint several times.

Are you sure you haven't seen him?

- Are the cops coming? - No.

Martin...

- What are you doing today? - How about you?

Nothing much.

- What've you got in the bag? - Peroxide.

- What's that for? - Nothing. You've gotta take it to the limit.

- Why do you say that? - I don't know. See you around.

Ah!

Is it infected?

Yeah, a little, I think.

- You want some food? - I have to go to the doctor.

- Heck, I've seen worse infections. - I've gotta see a doctor.

- I've gotta get it treated. - I'll treat your wound.

I took care of a sick dog once. And it really got well again.

You'll have to get me to a doctor.

- Why can't you just stay here? - It's no use.

Anyway, we'll be back. And the doctor can't turn me in.

He's bound to secrecy.

Okay...

Could you get me some bandages?

- And see if you've got some downers. - Some what?

Valium. Pills in a brown glass. It says "valium" on the label.

I know those.

- Is that you, Martin? - Yes.

Fuck!

Oh, you're a mess.

Do your hair the way you always do. Mark'll be here soon.

Promise me, you won't tell him how grouchy I am in the morning.

You'd better get the door yourself.

Oh, are they for me? You shouldn't have splashed out.

Are you coming in to say hi?

- Hi, Martin. - Hi.

My name is Mark.

I've got something for you.

How about that, Martin?

- I didn't have time to wrap it. - Thanks.

- Oh, it's too much. - No, no. It's quite alright.

- It's really nice. - Come, I'll show you, Martin.

You like it, don't you, Martin?

What a nice gift. Let me help you.

Voila!

- I've got something else for you. - Noooo!

Here. What do you say?

I'm sorry. I've gotta go now.

- But we were going to eat. - Go ahead and eat.

Eat!

Did your mom suspect anything?

Do you take that many?

It kills the pain.

Mom just takes a quarter of a pill, and then she gets all drowsy.

Yeah, but she's a woman.

Okay. Let's get going.

- I'll have to rest a while. - No... Come on.

- I just need a little rest. - We haven't got time for that.

Get me to Karl Bernhardsvej. Number 17.

- Got it? - Yeah, yeah.

- Hi, Martin. - Hi.

- Where are you going? - Nowhere.

Will you come down to the cellar?

I've got something to show you. It'll only take five minutes.

Okay.

Come here.

This is our old sofa.

Too bad they're chucking it out.

We've got an ugly new one instead.

Damn it.

- I've gotta go. - Lie down. It'll stop the nosebleed.

You're acting so strangely.

Have you ever been kissed?

- Do you want to go steady? - I've really gotta go now.

Where the hell have you been?

FREDRIKSEN, PHYSICIAN

Try again.

I'm sorry.

- Are you mad at me? - You bet I am. Shit!

One of these days...

One of these days... Go out into the road. See if there's a light.

It's on the second floor.

Nobody's home.

If I have to stay in that rotten cellar another night, I'll catch pneumonia.

Here we are. Ahornsgade.

Yeah... I live at the other end.

Here it is. Here it is!

- Damn it. - Did you get hurt?

- Is there anything I can do? - No.

- Did you say something before. - I said: "Here it is."

Now, listen. Are you listening? Go up to my apartment.

It says Frederik Moseby on the door. See if anyone's there, then come back.

Hey, idiot! The key.

- There's nobody here. - Did you check the room at the back?

- Yes. But it's all dark. - Did you go in there?

- No. - Then get in there!

- But it's all dark... - Get in there!

Get in there!

What are you doing here?

- There's a fat man on the couch. - Alright! That's Johnny.

- He can get me a doctor. - He can?

Sure. He's got connections. He knows a doctor.

One that's available day and night. Give me a hand.

- Great. Now we're on a roll. - Yeah, we're on a roll.

Gitte! Gitte, dammit!

- I'll just go up there, okay? - Can't I come with you?

That's not a good idea. Johnny doesn't like visitors.

- What should I do then? - Oh... Can you be my lookout?

- What if somebody shows up? - Whistle three times.

What the hell is it this time?

- We're just doing our job. - It's a really great job.

It's the fifth time now. We're trying to sleep in here.

- There's a wanted person living here. - So what? Get lost and let us sleep.

- Shut up, or we'll arrest you. - Fascist pig.

Just relax. Relax.

Get your filthy hands off me...

- Who is it? - Me, M�v.

- You what? - M�v. Funder's friend.

- Hi. - Hmm.

- Have they gone? - Yes.

- Did you get hold of the doctor? - Do you not understand Danish?

Pack your stuff and get lost! Have you got the 5000 kroner you owe me?

It's 10 months since you borrowed it, mate.

- You've gotta help me. I've no place to go. - We were going to my place.

- You promised me. - Who the hell is he?

- Just a kid I met in the street. - That's not true.

- I've looked after you for two days. - Yeah, okay. Listen, I promise...

You've been here 10 months without paying. Do you think it's all free?

- I'll get you the money... - You really are an asshole.

I hope you go to jail.

- I could sell my guitar. - It's a worthless piece of shit.

It certainly is not. It's not!

I'm so pissed off with all your shit. Just get lost. Get lost!

You can't tell me what to do.

Piss off, man.

Piss off, you moron.

Moron!

What I said about going to jail... I didn't mean it.

I almost wish I was in jail.

- Are you hurt? - Naw, it's only ketchup.

They're coming back!

- It was just a car. - Yeah.

Take your rotten guitar and all your shit. It's all worthless.

That Johnny, you can't trust him, right?

You've gotta take it to the limit, right?

- What if your mom sees me? - I think she's gone to bed.

But be quiet, when we go in.

My room's over there.

Martin, is that you?

Where the hell have you been? I couldn't sleep.

- So what? - I couldn't just go to bed!

- So then, where have you been? - Nowhere.

You must have been somewhere. Did you go swimming?

- No. - Come here and sit down.

Are you hiding something?

Rikke was here asking for you. She said you're sweethearts.

Why haven't you told me that? You don't have to keep it secret.

No...

- I just wish we could get along. - You've lit one up already.

Ah!

What was that?

- Nothing. - It's got to be something.

- It's just Jesper. - Jesper?

- Why didn't you say that right away? - I dunno. Can he sleep here tonight?

Yes. If you're quiet and go straight to bed.

- She's damn hot. - Who?

- Your mom. She's good looking. - You think so?

Funder...

Funder.

Wake up, little Hans, wake up, little Hans, wake up and bang the drum.

Yes, little mother, yes, little mother, yes now I'm here.

Are you okay?

We'll... We'll just put a band-aid on it.

You can stay as long as you want.

- We'll have to see what your mom says. - Never mind her.

Hand me the band-aid.

- When did you get hair on your cock? - Say what?

- When did you get hair on your cock? - I dunno.

I think I was 15 or 16. Something like that.

- Have you got a shaving kit? - Sure.

I'll go and make breakfast. And then I'll wake up my mom.

I'll start by telling her that I met you at The Monkey.

- When I got back from football. - Yes.

Yeah. And then we'll tell her that your girlfriend threw you out.

Tell her that I've helped you before, so you thought you owed me one.

- What's going on in here? - This is...

- Who are you? - This is Funder.

Hi.

- What's he doing here? - He's my friend.

- He slept here last night. - We're pals.

Martin, come here a moment.

- You're not making this up, are you? - No, no.

- Are those Palle's clothes? - Mmm.

- I promised Funder that he can stay. - I see.

- I didn't have any place to go. - You don't live around here?

No, actually I don't.

"Stilton"?

I'll get it.

- Hi! - Hi. Where were you going last night?

I can see that Martin is friends with you. But you can't stay here.

- Is there anything I can do for you? - Could you get me a doctor?

Okay. I'll call our family doctor.

- Can I come in? - It's not a good time.

Why not?

It's just not good.

What are you up to?

- What are you gonna do? - What do you think?

But he's harmless! Rikke!

Fuck!

Did you squeal?

You idiot!

What the hell were you thinking?

How do I get out of here?

- Think! - Yes, yes!

Okay, we'll cross the roof to the next staircase and get down that way.

I've got an appointment at 12. What's going on?

Martin!

Come on.

- Hey, M�v, the police are coming. - Get lost.

There it is.

Close the door.

Move!

M�v!

You'd better go on alone.

I'll tell the cops you went the other way.

There's a hatch behind the roof ridge.

See you.

Run! Hurry!

- No. I'll come and get you. - I'll tell them you went the other way.

Take it easy! I've got you.

We've got him. We'll pass him down to the other team.

Martin, are you okay? Are you alright?

Are you alright?

Mind your heads.

Subtitles: Quantum August 2004