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1
00:00:04,505 --> 00:00:06,472
(helicopters whirling) ♪♪♪ (theme)
2
00:01:19,580 --> 00:01:20,781
♪♪♪
‐Hey, Trapper?
‐Huh?
3
00:01:20,814 --> 00:01:21,882
How much do you suppose
this stuff's worth
4
00:01:21,915 --> 00:01:23,550
on the black market?
5
00:01:23,584 --> 00:01:25,586
What would you do
with your share?
6
00:01:25,619 --> 00:01:28,321
Pay for my
hernia operation.
7
00:01:28,354 --> 00:01:29,590
All right, lemme see...
8
00:01:29,623 --> 00:01:32,292
Blankets, powdered milk,
penicillin.
9
00:01:32,325 --> 00:01:33,560
Okay, that's everything.
10
00:01:37,931 --> 00:01:39,633
All right,
Sister Theresa, all set.
11
00:01:39,666 --> 00:01:43,436
Oh, how can I ever
thank you, Hawkeye?
12
00:01:43,469 --> 00:01:45,305
And you, Trapper.
13
00:01:45,338 --> 00:01:46,339
Oh, don't thank us.
14
00:01:46,372 --> 00:01:47,473
We're just
acting on orders.
15
00:01:47,508 --> 00:01:49,342
But whose?
16
00:01:49,375 --> 00:01:52,813
Who is the author of
all this generosity?
17
00:01:52,846 --> 00:01:54,715
Uh, Tuttle.
Captain Tuttle.
18
00:01:54,748 --> 00:01:57,250
That's who.
Right, uh, Trap?
19
00:01:57,283 --> 00:01:58,351
Captain Tuttle?
20
00:01:58,384 --> 00:02:00,621
Yeah, one of our
finest officers.
21
00:02:00,654 --> 00:02:02,355
And a beautiful man.
22
00:02:02,388 --> 00:02:05,859
Just picture George Washington
with John Wayne's agent.
23
00:02:07,293 --> 00:02:08,829
I'll have the children
at the orphanage
24
00:02:08,862 --> 00:02:09,896
write him a thank‐you
letter tomorrow.
25
00:02:09,930 --> 00:02:11,297
Oh, don't do that.
26
00:02:11,331 --> 00:02:12,899
He doesn't like anybody
to make a fuss.
27
00:02:12,933 --> 00:02:14,400
No, no. Uh‐uh.
That's right.
28
00:02:14,434 --> 00:02:16,770
I mean,
he's Mr. Humility.
29
00:02:16,803 --> 00:02:18,639
Captain Humility,
actually.
30
00:02:18,672 --> 00:02:20,707
Captain Humility.
31
00:02:20,741 --> 00:02:23,544
Just tell the good captain
I'll be praying for him.
32
00:02:23,577 --> 00:02:25,211
‐Goodbye.
‐HAWKEYE: Bye.
33
00:02:29,916 --> 00:02:31,685
Lovely lady.
34
00:02:31,718 --> 00:02:33,854
Yeah, but she could never be
more than a sister to me.
35
00:02:35,355 --> 00:02:36,923
Isn't she wasting her
prayers on somebody
36
00:02:36,957 --> 00:02:38,391
who doesn't exist?
37
00:02:38,424 --> 00:02:39,492
Who doesn't exist?
38
00:02:39,526 --> 00:02:41,528
This, uh, this
Tuttle you made up.
39
00:02:43,530 --> 00:02:45,866
Who says
I made him up?
40
00:02:45,899 --> 00:02:47,300
Don't con me.
41
00:02:47,333 --> 00:02:49,402
He's a figment
of your imagination.
42
00:02:49,435 --> 00:02:51,672
And what makes you
think you're not?
43
00:03:00,647 --> 00:03:02,415
Rough shift?
44
00:03:02,448 --> 00:03:03,784
Picnic.
45
00:03:03,817 --> 00:03:05,852
Oh. Not too many wounded, huh?
46
00:03:05,886 --> 00:03:08,589
No, no wounded.
I worked on a pregnant
infantryman.
47
00:03:08,622 --> 00:03:09,890
Oh.
48
00:03:09,923 --> 00:03:11,892
Nobody can figure out
how it happened either.
49
00:03:11,925 --> 00:03:13,760
He hasn't been near
a woman in months.
50
00:03:14,728 --> 00:03:16,730
Ohh, that's coffee.
51
00:03:16,763 --> 00:03:18,398
Hawkeye...
52
00:03:18,431 --> 00:03:20,466
Anybody coming
in here telling me
about more wounded
53
00:03:20,501 --> 00:03:22,603
is sucking around
for a lobotomy.
54
00:03:22,636 --> 00:03:24,971
Captain Tuttle's gotta
sign this requisition form
55
00:03:25,005 --> 00:03:28,274
before Sister Theresa
can get her next batch
of supplies.
56
00:03:28,308 --> 00:03:30,977
Listen, how did you
come up with a name
like Tuttle, anyway?
57
00:03:31,011 --> 00:03:33,313
He was my imaginary
childhood friend.
58
00:03:33,346 --> 00:03:34,948
You had an
imaginary friend?
59
00:03:34,981 --> 00:03:37,017
Yeah, if anybody
said "Who knocked
over the garbage?"
60
00:03:37,050 --> 00:03:38,985
I said "Tuttle".
61
00:03:39,019 --> 00:03:40,887
If they said
"Who broke that window?"
62
00:03:40,921 --> 00:03:42,889
"Tuttle."
63
00:03:42,923 --> 00:03:43,957
"Who wet the bed?"
64
00:03:43,990 --> 00:03:45,692
Tuttle.
65
00:03:45,726 --> 00:03:47,561
He had no control
at all.
66
00:03:47,594 --> 00:03:49,596
So when you
got drafted...
67
00:03:49,630 --> 00:03:51,264
He got drafted.
68
00:03:51,297 --> 00:03:53,734
Just in case
you wet your cot.
69
00:03:53,767 --> 00:03:55,401
Precisely.
70
00:03:55,435 --> 00:03:58,539
I‐I had an imaginary friend
when I was a little boy.
71
00:03:58,572 --> 00:04:00,006
Terrific.
72
00:04:00,040 --> 00:04:01,642
Her name was Shirley.
73
00:04:05,445 --> 00:04:07,514
Your imaginary
friend was a girl?
74
00:04:07,548 --> 00:04:08,448
Mm‐hmm.
75
00:04:08,481 --> 00:04:10,050
What'd she look like?
76
00:04:10,083 --> 00:04:12,352
Like me.
77
00:04:12,385 --> 00:04:14,387
Only with tiny
little breasts.
78
00:04:14,420 --> 00:04:15,055
HAWKEYE:
Out!
79
00:04:15,088 --> 00:04:16,757
Out!
80
00:04:22,696 --> 00:04:25,599
‐ Morning, sir.
‐ Morning, Radar.
81
00:04:25,632 --> 00:04:28,034
‐ Sign these, please?
‐ Right.
82
00:04:28,068 --> 00:04:30,604
Oh, those stockings
came out nice, sir.
83
00:04:30,637 --> 00:04:32,038
Yeah, my wife sent me
some new soap powder.
84
00:04:32,072 --> 00:04:33,607
‐Uh‐huh.
‐Uh, Where do I‐‐
85
00:04:33,640 --> 00:04:35,441
Sign the original
of each form, sir,
86
00:04:35,475 --> 00:04:36,910
and initial
the carbon copies.
87
00:04:36,943 --> 00:04:38,845
Or if you want, you can
sign the carbon copies
88
00:04:38,879 --> 00:04:40,681
and initial the originals.
89
00:04:40,714 --> 00:04:42,849
And then sign
this form signifying that
90
00:04:42,883 --> 00:04:44,751
you signed what you
should have initialled.
91
00:04:44,785 --> 00:04:47,387
Radar, do you really
understand all this army stuff?
92
00:04:47,420 --> 00:04:49,422
Uh, it helps not to be
too bright, sir.
93
00:04:50,891 --> 00:04:52,058
Uh, sir, would you sign
94
00:04:52,092 --> 00:04:54,027
the supplementary
supply form, please?
95
00:04:54,060 --> 00:04:56,630
It only needs
a countersignature.
96
00:04:56,663 --> 00:04:59,566
Captain Tuttle's
already OK'd it.
97
00:04:59,600 --> 00:05:00,834
Right.
98
00:05:00,867 --> 00:05:04,705
Captain Tuttle?
Which one's Captain Tuttle?
99
00:05:06,773 --> 00:05:09,576
Oh, you know, sir.
That new man...
Captain Tuttle.
100
00:05:09,610 --> 00:05:11,978
Did I meet him
yesterday at breakfast?
101
00:05:12,012 --> 00:05:13,479
Yes.
102
00:05:13,514 --> 00:05:15,081
Wait a minute.
103
00:05:15,115 --> 00:05:16,750
I didn't have breakfast
yesterday.
104
00:05:16,783 --> 00:05:18,484
Then you must have met him
somewhere else, sir.
105
00:05:18,519 --> 00:05:20,887
Oh, right.
106
00:05:20,921 --> 00:05:23,624
You put him in charge
of supplementary supplies.
107
00:05:23,657 --> 00:05:25,892
Oh, yeah, that's why
he signed the supply form.
108
00:05:25,926 --> 00:05:28,028
Tuttle. I knew I'd
seen his name somewhere.
109
00:05:30,496 --> 00:05:33,366
‐If you'll just OK
the duty roster.
‐Yep.
110
00:05:33,399 --> 00:05:35,969
Major Burns is Officer
of the Day again?
111
00:05:36,002 --> 00:05:37,671
He volunteered.
112
00:05:37,704 --> 00:05:39,840
Frank always volunteers.
113
00:05:39,873 --> 00:05:42,909
If we had a firing squad,
he'd volunteer to be
in charge of it.
114
00:05:42,943 --> 00:05:45,746
Or in front of it...
or both.
115
00:05:45,779 --> 00:05:48,982
BOTH:
Yes, sir.
116
00:05:49,015 --> 00:05:50,350
I knew you'd say that.
117
00:05:50,817 --> 00:05:52,352
Oh...
118
00:05:54,821 --> 00:05:57,591
‐ Radar?
‐ Sir?
119
00:05:57,624 --> 00:06:00,093
Let's give Frank a little help
winning the war.
120
00:06:00,126 --> 00:06:01,695
Sir?
121
00:06:01,728 --> 00:06:04,397
What about Captain Tuttle?
122
00:06:04,430 --> 00:06:05,666
What about him?
123
00:06:05,699 --> 00:06:07,801
Well, has he ever
pulled any OD duty?
124
00:06:10,771 --> 00:06:12,105
No, sir.
125
00:06:12,138 --> 00:06:14,575
Radar, if it's one thing
I insist on
126
00:06:14,608 --> 00:06:17,477
it's that every officer
in my command pulls his
fair share of the load.
127
00:06:19,079 --> 00:06:21,848
No matter who he is.
128
00:06:23,083 --> 00:06:24,150
Or isn't.
129
00:06:26,086 --> 00:06:28,822
MAN (over P. A.):
Attention! A change
in the duty roster.
130
00:06:28,855 --> 00:06:30,857
Tomorrow,
Captain Jonathan S. Tuttle
131
00:06:30,891 --> 00:06:33,794
will be Officer
of the Day.
132
00:06:33,827 --> 00:06:35,161
Frank, did you
hear that?
133
00:06:35,195 --> 00:06:36,730
But I volunteered.
134
00:06:36,763 --> 00:06:38,131
If you're free
tomorrow night,
135
00:06:38,164 --> 00:06:40,767
I've got some new literature
on pelvic deviations.
136
00:06:40,801 --> 00:06:42,703
Margaret, I don't know
any Captain Tuttle.
137
00:06:42,736 --> 00:06:44,204
Do you? Tuttle?
138
00:06:44,237 --> 00:06:46,039
Well, he must be new.
139
00:06:46,072 --> 00:06:47,808
Well, then, why didn't
he‐he report to me?
140
00:06:47,841 --> 00:06:49,175
I'm second in command.
141
00:06:49,209 --> 00:06:51,011
I'm sure Colonel Blake
will get around to it,
142
00:06:51,044 --> 00:06:52,879
once he finishes
his laundry.
143
00:06:52,913 --> 00:06:55,448
Yes, there he is.
144
00:06:55,481 --> 00:06:57,150
Well, it's Tuttle's
responsibility to
present himself.
145
00:06:57,183 --> 00:06:59,520
The man is obviously
ignoring me.
146
00:06:59,553 --> 00:07:01,922
Oh, Frank, why would
he ignore you?
147
00:07:01,955 --> 00:07:05,091
Guilt. He can't face the man
he's gonna replace.
148
00:07:05,125 --> 00:07:07,728
Who says he's
going to replace you?
149
00:07:07,761 --> 00:07:09,195
Everyone here's
against me, Margaret.
150
00:07:09,229 --> 00:07:11,798
Aw, only Pierce
and McIntyre.
151
00:07:11,832 --> 00:07:14,167
Did I tell you they
glued my Bible together?
152
00:07:14,200 --> 00:07:16,136
Oh, Frank...
153
00:07:16,169 --> 00:07:19,172
And they drew fangs
on my picture
of Senator McCarthy.
154
00:07:21,708 --> 00:07:23,744
My poor darling.
155
00:07:30,283 --> 00:07:33,754
Why don't we just
check out this
Captain Tuttle ourselves.
156
00:07:33,787 --> 00:07:36,189
Oh, Margaret, you're my
snug harbour.
157
00:07:36,222 --> 00:07:38,625
I don't know what I'd do
if I didn't have you
to sail into.
158
00:07:46,833 --> 00:07:48,569
‐Corporal?
‐Sir?
159
00:07:48,602 --> 00:07:50,904
‐Where's the colonel?
‐Colonel?
160
00:07:50,937 --> 00:07:52,038
Colonel Blake?
161
00:07:52,072 --> 00:07:53,640
Uh, I'm afraid
he's doing
162
00:07:53,674 --> 00:07:55,642
some very important sleeping
for the army right now.
163
00:07:55,676 --> 00:07:56,843
Typical.
164
00:07:56,877 --> 00:07:58,078
I want to see
the personnel file
165
00:07:58,111 --> 00:07:59,913
on this new man,
uh, Captain Tuttle.
166
00:07:59,946 --> 00:08:01,247
Uh, sir, these files
are locked.
167
00:08:01,281 --> 00:08:03,016
I'm afraid you're gonna
need a‐an authorization
168
00:08:03,049 --> 00:08:04,518
from Colonel Blake.
169
00:08:04,551 --> 00:08:06,953
‐Well, get it.
‐Wake him.
170
00:08:06,987 --> 00:08:08,622
Uh, wake him?
171
00:08:08,655 --> 00:08:11,024
Well, he could be
dreaming up some
new medicine
172
00:08:11,057 --> 00:08:13,126
that could, uh,
help all mankind.
173
00:08:13,159 --> 00:08:16,897
Henry Blake?
That launderette?
174
00:08:16,930 --> 00:08:18,665
Well, I'll get
an authorization
175
00:08:18,699 --> 00:08:19,966
to see that
Tuttle file.
176
00:08:25,338 --> 00:08:27,674
Okay now, let's see.
When was Tuttle born?
177
00:08:27,708 --> 00:08:30,076
Um... how about,
uh, 1924?
178
00:08:30,110 --> 00:08:31,812
That was a good year
for doctors.
179
00:08:31,845 --> 00:08:33,213
Okay.
180
00:08:33,246 --> 00:08:34,247
Mother?
181
00:08:34,280 --> 00:08:36,783
Mmm, yes.
182
00:08:36,817 --> 00:08:37,884
Father?
183
00:08:37,918 --> 00:08:39,953
One.
184
00:08:39,986 --> 00:08:42,656
Harry and Frieda Tuttle.
185
00:08:42,689 --> 00:08:44,024
Birthplace?
186
00:08:44,057 --> 00:08:46,560
Uh, hey, how
about my hometown?
187
00:08:46,593 --> 00:08:48,795
No, they've already got
enough to be proud of.
188
00:08:48,829 --> 00:08:51,197
‐How about, uh...
‐Battle Creek, Michigan.
189
00:08:51,231 --> 00:08:52,232
Yeah, that's good.
That's perfect.
190
00:08:52,265 --> 00:08:53,333
Yeah, good.
191
00:08:53,366 --> 00:08:55,001
Okay.
192
00:08:55,035 --> 00:08:57,771
Um, uh...
religion?
193
00:08:57,804 --> 00:09:01,608
Uh... atheist.
194
00:09:01,642 --> 00:09:03,944
I don't believe
in atheism.
195
00:09:03,977 --> 00:09:05,712
Let's make him
a Druid.
196
00:09:05,746 --> 00:09:08,014
‐What's that?
‐They worship trees.
197
00:09:08,048 --> 00:09:10,283
Ahh, a tree surgeon.
198
00:09:12,385 --> 00:09:14,655
Druid, reformed.
199
00:09:14,688 --> 00:09:16,990
They're allowed
to pray at bushes.
200
00:09:18,725 --> 00:09:20,360
All right, now what
about medical school?
201
00:09:20,393 --> 00:09:21,928
Harvard.
202
00:09:21,962 --> 00:09:23,930
No‐no, we can't make it
anyplace they'll check.
203
00:09:23,964 --> 00:09:26,667
Oh, how about,
uh, um...
204
00:09:26,700 --> 00:09:29,135
Berlin Polytechnic.
205
00:09:29,169 --> 00:09:31,304
Perfect.
206
00:09:31,337 --> 00:09:33,907
"Berlinishish
Polyteshnico."
207
00:09:33,940 --> 00:09:35,809
‐(whistling)
‐Oh...
208
00:09:35,842 --> 00:09:38,679
Right after he graduated
from Adolf Hitler High.
209
00:09:38,712 --> 00:09:40,747
No, that's a bit much.
210
00:09:40,781 --> 00:09:42,616
You should write fiction.
211
00:09:42,649 --> 00:09:44,951
You should read
my file.
212
00:09:44,985 --> 00:09:46,887
All right, now a little
something for Hot Lips.
213
00:09:46,920 --> 00:09:49,956
Height: 6 feet 4.
214
00:09:49,990 --> 00:09:53,026
Weight: 195 pounds.
215
00:09:54,327 --> 00:09:57,097
Hair... auburn.
216
00:09:58,732 --> 00:10:01,735
Eyes: hazel.
217
00:10:01,768 --> 00:10:03,069
TRAPPER:
Hawkeye...
218
00:10:03,103 --> 00:10:04,237
Huh?
219
00:10:04,270 --> 00:10:06,607
I think I'm in love.
220
00:10:08,341 --> 00:10:10,777
I'd certainly like
to know why it's so
all‐fired important
221
00:10:10,811 --> 00:10:13,013
for you two to see
the file on Captain Tuttle.
222
00:10:13,046 --> 00:10:14,314
Because neither
the major nor I
223
00:10:14,347 --> 00:10:15,816
remember ever
having seen him,
224
00:10:15,849 --> 00:10:17,684
and that strikes us
as very strange.
225
00:10:17,718 --> 00:10:19,085
Well, I've seen him.
226
00:10:19,119 --> 00:10:21,054
I had breakfast with
the man only yesterday.
227
00:10:22,122 --> 00:10:23,423
Here it is.
228
00:10:23,456 --> 00:10:25,125
"Tuttle, Jonathan,
Captain.
229
00:10:25,158 --> 00:10:28,128
"Serial number:
397‐299‐66."
230
00:10:30,363 --> 00:10:32,933
"Berlinishish
Polyteshnico."
231
00:10:32,966 --> 00:10:34,034
Probably a Nazi.
232
00:10:34,067 --> 00:10:35,836
(whistling)
Very impressive.
233
00:10:35,869 --> 00:10:38,672
Well, if you two
will excuse me...
234
00:10:38,705 --> 00:10:41,675
I told Tuttle I'd
have lunch with him.
235
00:10:43,009 --> 00:10:44,310
So long, Radar.
236
00:10:44,344 --> 00:10:46,079
‐I'll hold down the fort.
‐Hold down the fort.
237
00:10:49,149 --> 00:10:51,918
"Auburn hair,
hazel eyes..."
238
00:10:51,952 --> 00:10:55,021
Oh, for Pete's sake, Margaret.
You're practically drooling.
239
00:10:55,055 --> 00:10:57,457
Oh, Frank!
You're not jealous?
240
00:10:57,490 --> 00:10:59,359
Not jealous?
241
00:10:59,392 --> 00:11:00,861
If I lost you
to anyone,
242
00:11:00,894 --> 00:11:02,095
I'd put a scalpel
through my neck.
243
00:11:02,128 --> 00:11:03,263
No, Frank!
No, no, no.
244
00:11:03,296 --> 00:11:04,330
Not here.
245
00:11:04,364 --> 00:11:06,800
No one can see us
or hear us.
246
00:11:06,833 --> 00:11:09,169
HOULIHAN:
Frank...
247
00:11:10,737 --> 00:11:12,205
You know, there's
still something spooky
248
00:11:12,238 --> 00:11:14,240
about this Tuttle.
249
00:11:15,441 --> 00:11:17,878
Now, I'll just call
General Clayton
250
00:11:17,911 --> 00:11:19,980
and have him
check it out.
251
00:11:20,013 --> 00:11:21,748
(buzzing)
252
00:11:27,120 --> 00:11:28,321
Sir?
253
00:11:28,354 --> 00:11:30,356
Corporal O'Reilly,
get me General Clayton,
254
00:11:30,390 --> 00:11:31,992
Headquarters,
in Seoul.
255
00:11:32,025 --> 00:11:33,393
Uh, yes, ma'am.
Just a minute, ma'am.
256
00:11:38,932 --> 00:11:40,200
Psst.
257
00:11:40,233 --> 00:11:41,401
Get me Captain Pierce
over here right away.
258
00:11:54,915 --> 00:11:57,183
HQ, Seoul.
This is Sergeant Pryor.
259
00:11:57,217 --> 00:11:58,785
Hi, Sparky.
This is Radar.
260
00:11:58,819 --> 00:12:00,286
Hey, how are you doin', boy?
261
00:12:00,320 --> 00:12:01,522
Fine. Hey, listen,
Sparky...
262
00:12:01,555 --> 00:12:03,757
Hey, I wanted to
thank you for sending
263
00:12:03,790 --> 00:12:05,058
the "Captain Marvel
Annual".
264
00:12:05,091 --> 00:12:06,760
It just come today.
265
00:12:06,793 --> 00:12:08,829
Okay, okay, look...
Uh, listen...
266
00:12:08,862 --> 00:12:11,164
I'm gonna be making
a call on this line
any second.
267
00:12:11,197 --> 00:12:12,833
I want you to
patch it back to me.
268
00:12:12,866 --> 00:12:14,467
(chuckling)
Shazam!
269
00:12:17,538 --> 00:12:19,239
What's up, Radar?
270
00:12:19,272 --> 00:12:21,207
Major Houlihan is makin'
a call to General Clayton.
271
00:12:29,349 --> 00:12:30,951
RADAR:
HQ Seoul on
the phone, ma'am.
272
00:12:30,984 --> 00:12:32,385
Thank you.
Hello?
273
00:12:32,418 --> 00:12:34,555
HQ Seoul,
Sergeant Pryor.
274
00:12:34,588 --> 00:12:37,023
Uh, General Clayton,
please.
275
00:12:37,057 --> 00:12:39,259
Major Margaret Houlihan.
276
00:12:45,065 --> 00:12:46,166
Hello?
277
00:12:46,199 --> 00:12:49,169
Hello, General?
Major Houlihan.
278
00:12:49,202 --> 00:12:50,971
Margaret, I do hope
this is going to be
279
00:12:51,004 --> 00:12:55,308
an obscene phone call.
(laughs)
280
00:12:55,341 --> 00:12:57,844
I‐I‐I wish it
could be, sir.
281
00:12:57,878 --> 00:13:00,113
That is, um...
282
00:13:00,146 --> 00:13:02,448
I wonder if you
might do me a favor.
283
00:13:02,482 --> 00:13:03,984
You just say
the word, Margaret,
284
00:13:04,017 --> 00:13:07,253
and I'll get
a hormone shot.
(laughs)
285
00:13:07,287 --> 00:13:09,322
Yes, sir.
Uh‐huh.
286
00:13:09,355 --> 00:13:10,891
What I want
to know...
287
00:13:10,924 --> 00:13:12,058
Say, what did you
think of that new man
288
00:13:12,092 --> 00:13:13,894
I sent down there?
Uh, Tuttle?
289
00:13:15,562 --> 00:13:17,931
You sent Captain Tuttle?
290
00:13:17,964 --> 00:13:20,333
Yes, he's going
to marry my niece.
291
00:13:20,366 --> 00:13:22,135
Now try to keep
him pure, Margaret.
292
00:13:22,168 --> 00:13:25,205
If you can keep your
hot little hands off him.
293
00:13:25,238 --> 00:13:28,208
(laughs)
294
00:13:29,576 --> 00:13:31,144
Goodbye, Margaret.
295
00:13:34,515 --> 00:13:35,916
Hi, Frank.
296
00:13:35,949 --> 00:13:36,983
Hmph.
297
00:13:38,985 --> 00:13:40,053
You want what, Frank?
298
00:13:40,086 --> 00:13:41,321
I want you
to change my tent.
299
00:13:41,354 --> 00:13:43,123
I want you to make
Captain Tuttle my roomie.
300
00:13:43,156 --> 00:13:44,457
Your roomie?
301
00:13:44,490 --> 00:13:45,992
Well, General Clayton
asked that I personally
302
00:13:46,026 --> 00:13:47,293
look after him.
303
00:13:47,327 --> 00:13:49,129
‐Tuttle?
‐Johnny.
304
00:13:49,162 --> 00:13:50,230
Isn't it "Jonathan"?
305
00:13:50,263 --> 00:13:51,998
Well, not to
his close friends.
306
00:13:52,032 --> 00:13:53,600
Yeah, well, uh, just
leave it with me, Frank,
307
00:13:53,634 --> 00:13:55,135
and I'll see
what I can do.
308
00:13:55,168 --> 00:13:56,503
I can only tell
you Tuttle and I
309
00:13:56,537 --> 00:13:58,505
are both anxious
for the change.
310
00:13:58,539 --> 00:14:00,941
We both speak
the same language.
311
00:14:00,974 --> 00:14:02,308
Right.
312
00:14:05,612 --> 00:14:08,381
Radar, there's something
going on with Major Burns.
313
00:14:08,414 --> 00:14:10,617
Uh, yes, sir,
with Major Houlihan.
314
00:14:10,651 --> 00:14:12,919
I know one guy
who got pictures.
315
00:14:12,953 --> 00:14:15,055
No, I mean with
Captain Tuttle.
316
00:14:17,691 --> 00:14:21,194
Major Burns and
Captain Tuttle, sir?
317
00:14:21,227 --> 00:14:22,495
If there's one thing
I'm not gonna have
318
00:14:22,529 --> 00:14:24,330
in this outfit, Radar,
it's politics.
319
00:14:24,364 --> 00:14:28,401
I'm getting into this
Tuttle business right now.
320
00:14:28,434 --> 00:14:30,637
MAN (on P. A.):
Uh, attention! Attention!
321
00:14:30,671 --> 00:14:33,439
Captain Jonathan Tuttle
will report to
322
00:14:33,473 --> 00:14:35,509
Colonel Henry Blake,
on the double.
323
00:14:35,542 --> 00:14:39,312
Captain Jonathan Tuttle,
report at once.
324
00:14:39,345 --> 00:14:41,648
Should we go back
inside and build one?
325
00:14:52,893 --> 00:14:55,562
‐Where is he?
‐I dunno know, sir. Well, I mean it's not like
Tuttle to keep me waiting.
326
00:14:55,596 --> 00:14:57,463
Is it?
327
00:14:57,497 --> 00:14:59,265
The last I saw him,
he was in the compound, sir.
328
00:14:59,299 --> 00:15:00,466
Want me to go check?
329
00:15:00,500 --> 00:15:01,935
Oh, no, no,
no, no, no.
330
00:15:01,968 --> 00:15:04,270
‐I'll do it.
‐Volunteering again, Frank?
331
00:15:04,304 --> 00:15:06,139
I don't want Tuttle
to get in trouble
with you, sir.
332
00:15:06,172 --> 00:15:08,642
It's the least I
can do for my buddy.
333
00:15:11,211 --> 00:15:13,046
Buddies?
334
00:15:13,079 --> 00:15:14,981
(blows raspberry)
335
00:15:17,150 --> 00:15:19,219
‐Phillips!
‐Here.
336
00:15:19,252 --> 00:15:21,021
Sterner!
337
00:15:21,054 --> 00:15:22,488
‐Tuttle!
‐Yo!
338
00:15:24,558 --> 00:15:26,426
Uh, Captain Tuttle?
339
00:15:26,459 --> 00:15:29,996
No, Captain Pierce, MD,
manic depressive.
340
00:15:30,030 --> 00:15:31,331
Is that yours?
341
00:15:31,364 --> 00:15:32,599
No, the only mail
I'll accept
342
00:15:32,633 --> 00:15:34,300
is a full apology
from President Truman.
343
00:15:34,334 --> 00:15:36,503
That is addressed
to Captain Tuttle.
344
00:15:36,537 --> 00:15:38,138
Very good, Frank.
345
00:15:38,171 --> 00:15:39,740
You read well enough
to be a druggist.
346
00:15:39,773 --> 00:15:41,074
Where is he?
347
00:15:41,107 --> 00:15:42,375
Who, Tuttle?
He's in Post‐Op.
348
00:15:42,408 --> 00:15:43,644
I'm gonna drop
this off for him.
349
00:15:43,677 --> 00:15:45,011
Oh, well,
I can do that.
350
00:15:45,045 --> 00:15:46,346
Oh, that's very
kind of you, Frank.
351
00:15:46,379 --> 00:15:48,048
It certainly belies
all the vicious gossip
352
00:15:48,081 --> 00:15:50,150
somebody is spreading
about what a twisted,
353
00:15:50,183 --> 00:15:53,053
selfish, mean‐spirited,
overbearing fusspot you are.
354
00:15:53,086 --> 00:15:55,021
It certainly does.
355
00:15:55,055 --> 00:15:56,757
Then I'll stop
spreading it.
356
00:15:56,790 --> 00:15:58,424
You're not fit to be
in the same camp
357
00:15:58,458 --> 00:16:00,426
with a man like
Captain Tuttle!
358
00:16:03,429 --> 00:16:04,565
McIntyre?
359
00:16:04,598 --> 00:16:06,166
Frank, if you're
here to help,
360
00:16:06,199 --> 00:16:08,334
all the bedpans have
already been emptied.
361
00:16:09,670 --> 00:16:10,737
Have you seen Tuttle?
362
00:16:10,771 --> 00:16:12,072
You just missed him.
363
00:16:12,105 --> 00:16:14,207
He's over at X‐ray
with Hot Lips.
364
00:16:14,240 --> 00:16:17,077
He said something about
doing some chest pictures.
365
00:16:17,778 --> 00:16:19,445
You're a liar.
366
00:16:26,520 --> 00:16:29,022
Well, uh, loo‐‐
Excuse me, sir.
367
00:16:29,055 --> 00:16:31,525
I‐‐ Well, don't let me
interfere with your work.
368
00:16:31,558 --> 00:16:34,695
I'll just, uh, put this
package for you down
and‐and‐and wait outside.
369
00:16:34,728 --> 00:16:36,563
I‐I know what you're
doing must be very
important, sir.
370
00:16:36,597 --> 00:16:39,165
That is,
if you are doing it...uh...
371
00:16:39,199 --> 00:16:40,767
Well, thank you
very much.
372
00:16:44,838 --> 00:16:46,439
Oh, Major!
373
00:16:49,510 --> 00:16:51,211
Margaret,
have you seen him?
374
00:16:51,244 --> 00:16:52,345
‐Who?
‐Tuttle.
375
00:16:52,378 --> 00:16:54,147
Pierce said
he was with you.
376
00:16:54,180 --> 00:16:56,550
McIntyre said
he was with you!
377
00:16:56,583 --> 00:16:58,484
Margaret, you haven't
been seeing him secretly,
have you?
378
00:16:58,519 --> 00:17:00,486
Shh, Frank!
There are people.
379
00:17:00,521 --> 00:17:01,655
If I find out
you're seeing Tuttle,
380
00:17:01,688 --> 00:17:03,056
I'll put my head
under a jeep.
381
00:17:03,089 --> 00:17:06,693
Uh, j‐‐
Frank...
382
00:17:06,727 --> 00:17:10,130
Frank, no one can
take your place.
383
00:17:10,163 --> 00:17:13,466
No matter how attractive
I find Captain Tuttle.
384
00:17:29,249 --> 00:17:30,350
Just as I thought.
385
00:17:30,383 --> 00:17:32,786
Tuttle hasn't been
paid in 14 months.
386
00:17:32,819 --> 00:17:34,254
And he never
said a word.
387
00:17:34,287 --> 00:17:36,189
What a guy.
388
00:17:41,662 --> 00:17:44,765
Soldier, where do I find
Captain Jonathan Tuttle?
389
00:17:44,798 --> 00:17:47,167
Uh, well, he's in
surgery right now, sir.
390
00:17:47,200 --> 00:17:49,770
Now where is that?
I have a mess of
back pay for him.
391
00:17:49,803 --> 00:17:51,838
Uh, yes, he said I could
take it and sign for him.
392
00:17:51,872 --> 00:17:53,740
Corporal, when it
involves this much money,
393
00:17:53,774 --> 00:17:55,509
I have to get
his signature.
394
00:17:56,910 --> 00:17:59,780
I'm sorry, Captain Tuttle.
I had to have you sign
395
00:17:59,813 --> 00:18:02,382
to make sure that
the signatures match.
396
00:18:02,415 --> 00:18:05,118
You'd be surprised
the number of people
397
00:18:05,151 --> 00:18:07,287
that want to stick it
to Uncle Sam.
398
00:18:07,320 --> 00:18:11,291
I hope the lack of pay was
not an inconvenience to you.
399
00:18:11,324 --> 00:18:13,426
No‐no, fortunately,
I'm independently wealthy.
400
00:18:13,459 --> 00:18:15,596
My father invented
bill padding.
401
00:18:16,863 --> 00:18:18,699
Now you understand
that all my future pay
402
00:18:18,732 --> 00:18:20,867
is to go directly to
Sister Theresa's orphanage.
403
00:18:20,901 --> 00:18:24,805
You are an inspiration
to us all.
404
00:18:24,838 --> 00:18:26,439
I know.
405
00:18:32,345 --> 00:18:33,614
‐Colonel?
‐Hmm?
406
00:18:33,647 --> 00:18:36,349
It's for you.
General Clayton.
407
00:18:36,382 --> 00:18:37,851
General...?
408
00:18:40,787 --> 00:18:43,489
Colonel Clayton,
General Blake here, sir.
409
00:18:43,524 --> 00:18:45,258
Steady, Henry.
410
00:18:45,291 --> 00:18:46,527
Yes, sir.
411
00:18:46,560 --> 00:18:49,830
Uh, I just call to offer
my congratulations.
412
00:18:49,863 --> 00:18:52,733
Well, that certainly means
a lot coming from you, sir.
413
00:18:52,766 --> 00:18:55,168
Uh, may I ask for what?
414
00:18:55,201 --> 00:18:57,638
Well, I just got a letter
from Sister Theresa.
415
00:18:57,671 --> 00:19:00,240
Oh, I didn't know
you had a sister.
416
00:19:00,273 --> 00:19:01,942
She's a nun.
417
00:19:01,975 --> 00:19:04,410
Oh, you must be
very proud, sir.
418
00:19:05,779 --> 00:19:09,382
Sister Theresa is a nun
who runs an orphanage
419
00:19:09,415 --> 00:19:11,451
near your outfit.
420
00:19:11,484 --> 00:19:13,954
Oh, well, I mean, I don't
know every nun in the, uh...
421
00:19:13,987 --> 00:19:16,356
It's not my habit,
sir, to, uh‐‐
422
00:19:16,389 --> 00:19:17,791
That's not what I mean.
423
00:19:17,824 --> 00:19:21,494
She told me
that Captain Tuttle
424
00:19:21,528 --> 00:19:24,931
donated 14 months' pay
to her orphanage.
425
00:19:24,965 --> 00:19:28,802
Well, we're all mighty
proud of Captain Tuttle.
426
00:19:28,835 --> 00:19:32,205
I was, uh, just telling him
that, last night at dinner.
427
00:19:32,238 --> 00:19:34,608
We've got to make
our appreciation
428
00:19:34,641 --> 00:19:36,810
more, uh, tangible,
Henry.
429
00:19:36,843 --> 00:19:38,945
I mean, it's one thing
to admire a man's work.
430
00:19:38,979 --> 00:19:40,681
But it's another
thing to get
431
00:19:40,714 --> 00:19:42,816
your picture in the
paper doing it, huh?
432
00:19:42,849 --> 00:19:45,351
Therefore, I've
decided to come out
433
00:19:45,385 --> 00:19:47,320
on the field tomorrow
434
00:19:47,353 --> 00:19:49,656
and personally give
Captain Tuttle a decoration.
435
00:19:49,690 --> 00:19:51,558
Wow!
436
00:19:51,592 --> 00:19:53,226
What's that?
437
00:19:53,259 --> 00:19:55,428
I mean, uh, "Wow, sir."
438
00:20:07,774 --> 00:20:09,643
‐Yes, sir?
‐Rad‐‐
439
00:20:09,676 --> 00:20:10,777
Where is he?
Where is Tuttle?
440
00:20:10,811 --> 00:20:13,313
Captain Pierce went
to get him, sir.
441
00:20:13,346 --> 00:20:15,682
‐Radar, do I seem, uh‐‐
‐Scared to death. Yes, sir.
442
00:20:15,716 --> 00:20:16,850
Go hurry them up.
443
00:20:19,886 --> 00:20:21,755
(jeep approaching)
444
00:20:23,990 --> 00:20:26,893
One day he'll be coming
to decorate you, Frank.
445
00:20:26,927 --> 00:20:29,663
Well, it's easy for Tuttle.
He had all the breaks.
446
00:20:29,696 --> 00:20:31,565
Oh, Frank,
don't be bitter.
447
00:20:31,598 --> 00:20:33,366
He's a fine American.
448
00:20:33,399 --> 00:20:35,035
The finest.
449
00:20:35,068 --> 00:20:37,571
Our country can use all
the Tuttles we can get.
450
00:20:51,084 --> 00:20:52,719
General Clayton.
451
00:20:54,054 --> 00:20:55,822
(camera clicking)
452
00:21:02,395 --> 00:21:04,497
How do you do,
Sister?
453
00:21:04,531 --> 00:21:06,366
Good work.
We're proud of you.
454
00:21:07,768 --> 00:21:10,336
Well...
455
00:21:10,370 --> 00:21:12,506
Shall we get on
with it, Henry?
456
00:21:12,539 --> 00:21:15,308
Eh, on with it.
Uh, yes, General.
457
00:21:16,777 --> 00:21:17,978
Well, where's Tuttle?
458
00:21:18,011 --> 00:21:19,713
Oh, uh,
he's coming, sir.
459
00:21:19,746 --> 00:21:20,947
He's quite busy.
460
00:21:20,981 --> 00:21:23,584
Busier than
a Brigadier General?
461
00:21:23,617 --> 00:21:26,052
Excuse me.
462
00:21:26,086 --> 00:21:27,654
Would you tell Radar
to tell Pierce
463
00:21:27,688 --> 00:21:30,724
‐to tell Tuttle to get...
‐He's here, sir.
464
00:21:30,757 --> 00:21:32,458
He's here, sir.
465
00:21:32,492 --> 00:21:33,760
Uh, I mean...
466
00:21:33,794 --> 00:21:35,328
He's here, sir.
467
00:21:38,832 --> 00:21:40,333
General.
468
00:21:40,366 --> 00:21:41,635
Pierce, isn't it?
469
00:21:41,668 --> 00:21:43,003
Yes, sir.
470
00:21:43,036 --> 00:21:45,105
I'm afraid you're not
gonna like this, sir.
471
00:21:45,138 --> 00:21:47,407
Well, then, uh, keep it
to yourself, Pierce.
472
00:21:47,440 --> 00:21:49,610
Tell us after we
decorate Tuttle.
473
00:21:49,643 --> 00:21:51,077
There is no Tuttle.
474
00:21:51,111 --> 00:21:52,979
No Tuttle?
475
00:21:54,447 --> 00:21:55,448
No Tuttle?
476
00:21:55,481 --> 00:21:57,784
(soldiers murmuring)
477
00:21:57,818 --> 00:22:00,486
Not any more, sir.
478
00:22:00,521 --> 00:22:01,988
That's all that's left.
479
00:22:05,125 --> 00:22:06,993
Well, how‐how'd
it happen?
480
00:22:07,027 --> 00:22:09,062
Well, you know Tuttle...
481
00:22:09,095 --> 00:22:11,832
No sacrifice too great.
482
00:22:11,865 --> 00:22:13,399
This morning,
while the rest of us
483
00:22:13,433 --> 00:22:15,401
were selfishly
having a cup of coffee,
484
00:22:15,435 --> 00:22:18,438
he went off in a helicopter
to do some field surgery.
485
00:22:20,406 --> 00:22:24,444
He jumped with
his plasma, his bag...
486
00:22:24,477 --> 00:22:26,079
everything an army
doctor needs...
487
00:22:27,881 --> 00:22:30,083
except his parachute.
488
00:22:33,854 --> 00:22:35,722
Oh, how awful!
489
00:22:35,756 --> 00:22:38,759
I'll see that he gets a
personal citation for this.
490
00:22:43,830 --> 00:22:47,734
I, uh, think that all of us
who knew and loved Tuttle
491
00:22:47,768 --> 00:22:51,672
would like to pay tribute
to this, uh, heroic man.
492
00:22:51,705 --> 00:22:53,106
And I think
it's only fitting
493
00:22:53,139 --> 00:22:55,976
that the man
who knew him best,
494
00:22:56,009 --> 00:22:59,713
Captain Pierce,
deliver the eulogy.
495
00:23:01,982 --> 00:23:03,550
That's not true.
I knew him best.
496
00:23:03,584 --> 00:23:05,118
Shh!
497
00:23:14,194 --> 00:23:16,963
We can all be comforted
by the thought
498
00:23:16,997 --> 00:23:19,165
that he's not
really gone,
499
00:23:19,199 --> 00:23:22,435
that there's a little
Tuttle left in all of us.
500
00:23:24,204 --> 00:23:26,172
In fact, you might say
that all of us together
501
00:23:26,206 --> 00:23:28,174
made up Tuttle.
502
00:23:30,243 --> 00:23:32,312
I'll never forget him.
503
00:23:36,182 --> 00:23:38,752
Our grief will pass.
504
00:23:38,785 --> 00:23:40,721
It's already hard
to remember
505
00:23:40,754 --> 00:23:43,089
exactly how
Johnny looked,
506
00:23:43,123 --> 00:23:44,625
how he talked.
507
00:23:46,527 --> 00:23:47,694
His little laugh.
508
00:23:49,563 --> 00:23:52,098
Thankfully, he's left
behind a memorial.
509
00:23:52,132 --> 00:23:53,734
I've been informed
by Radar
510
00:23:53,767 --> 00:23:56,169
that Captain Tuttle's
GI insurance
511
00:23:56,202 --> 00:23:57,103
named Sister
Theresa's orphanage
512
00:23:57,137 --> 00:23:59,139
as his sole beneficiary.
513
00:24:01,074 --> 00:24:02,843
How typical.
514
00:24:04,678 --> 00:24:06,747
We salute you,
Captain Tuttle...
515
00:24:09,916 --> 00:24:11,518
humanitarian and healer.
516
00:24:13,954 --> 00:24:16,957
Good luck, Doctor...
517
00:24:16,990 --> 00:24:20,093
in that great big
waiting room in the sky.
518
00:24:29,936 --> 00:24:32,973
He was the best
damn OD we ever had.
519
00:24:42,916 --> 00:24:44,751
Nice work.
There wasn't a dry
eye in the camp. Tuttle always brought
out the best in me.
520
00:24:44,785 --> 00:24:46,553
Yeah, I have
a question.
521
00:24:46,587 --> 00:24:48,955
Where'd you guys
get the parachute
and the dog tags?
522
00:24:48,989 --> 00:24:51,057
Uh, that was
Major Murdock.
523
00:24:51,091 --> 00:24:53,159
‐Who?
‐Who's Major Murdock?
524
00:24:53,193 --> 00:24:55,128
You know, Murdock?
Tall, skinny guy.
525
00:24:55,161 --> 00:24:56,830
Tuttle's replacement.
526
00:24:56,863 --> 00:24:59,032
Oh, yeah, I had breakfast
with him this morning.
527
00:25:07,140 --> 00:25:10,511
♪♪♪ (theme)
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