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1
00:00:02,803 --> 00:00:05,438
♪♪♪ (theme)
2
00:01:11,237 --> 00:01:12,739
(tin clattering)
3
00:01:27,888 --> 00:01:29,222
(groans)
4
00:01:30,524 --> 00:01:32,559
Look, it's daylight again.
5
00:01:33,694 --> 00:01:35,261
Fourteen hours.
6
00:01:35,295 --> 00:01:37,698
Rough session.
Very rough.
7
00:01:37,731 --> 00:01:40,166
Somebody is using the US Army
for target practice.
8
00:01:40,200 --> 00:01:42,302
Come on, let's get some
breakfast and hit the sack.
9
00:01:42,335 --> 00:01:44,204
I'm with you, big fella.
10
00:01:44,237 --> 00:01:46,372
And this morning,
it's two olives
in my breakfast.
11
00:01:47,508 --> 00:01:49,843
(tin clattering)
12
00:01:49,876 --> 00:01:52,546
Would you tell me where I might
find Colonel Blake's office?
13
00:01:52,579 --> 00:01:55,549
Yes, Sergeant. You go straight
down there, you turn left,
14
00:01:55,582 --> 00:01:58,585
and, uh, look for a broken‐down,
dirty old man and follow him.
15
00:01:58,619 --> 00:02:00,486
Yes, sir.
16
00:02:00,521 --> 00:02:02,689
‐He'll take me
to Colonel Blake?
‐That is Colonel Blake.
17
00:02:02,723 --> 00:02:04,625
Thank you, sir.
Young Hi?
18
00:02:04,658 --> 00:02:06,326
Roger wilco,
Sergeant Baker‐san.
19
00:02:06,359 --> 00:02:08,461
Find the noncom tent,
organize a shower,
20
00:02:08,494 --> 00:02:11,598
unpack my clean fatigues,
and shine my other boots.
21
00:02:11,632 --> 00:02:14,367
Draw rations from
the mess tent and then
unpack all the other gear.
22
00:02:14,400 --> 00:02:16,603
And be sure and keep them
cigarettes under lock and key.
23
00:02:16,637 --> 00:02:19,506
‐Understood?
‐Roger wilco,
Sergeant Baker‐san.
24
00:02:19,540 --> 00:02:20,907
What's she gonna do
with the rest of the day?
25
00:02:20,941 --> 00:02:22,408
Practice her shorthand.
26
00:02:22,442 --> 00:02:24,244
The gooks,
they don't mind workin'.
27
00:02:24,277 --> 00:02:25,712
Uh, Sergeant.
28
00:02:28,982 --> 00:02:31,585
I don't care for that word.
29
00:02:31,618 --> 00:02:33,319
‐"Gooks"?
‐Yeah.
30
00:02:33,353 --> 00:02:35,822
‐Nothing personal, sir.
‐Then knock it off.
31
00:02:35,856 --> 00:02:39,760
Yes, sir.
Thank you, sir.
32
00:02:40,927 --> 00:02:43,396
OK, Young Hi, let's move.
33
00:02:43,429 --> 00:02:45,932
(tin clattering)
34
00:02:47,801 --> 00:02:49,469
What do you mean,
his moose?
35
00:02:49,503 --> 00:02:53,907
That's just the name for it,
Hawkeye: moose.
36
00:02:53,940 --> 00:02:56,510
It's from musume,
Japanese for "girl."
37
00:02:56,543 --> 00:03:00,714
Yeah? What's Japanese
for "living together"?
38
00:03:00,747 --> 00:03:03,383
Well, that might
not be the case here.
39
00:03:03,416 --> 00:03:04,885
She could be just
his servant.
40
00:03:04,918 --> 00:03:07,754
Yeah? With or without fringe
benefits?
41
00:03:07,788 --> 00:03:09,823
I talked to her.
42
00:03:09,856 --> 00:03:12,325
The sergeant bought her
from her family for $500.
43
00:03:16,029 --> 00:03:19,232
Bought her? Is that what
you said, or do we have
a bad connection?
44
00:03:19,265 --> 00:03:21,868
Some of the locals sell
their kids for the money,
Hawkeye.
45
00:03:21,902 --> 00:03:23,604
They have no other means.
46
00:03:23,637 --> 00:03:26,507
‐That's right.
‐Do you believe that?
47
00:03:26,540 --> 00:03:28,675
That slob bought
a human being!
48
00:03:28,709 --> 00:03:30,410
Why doesn't the army do
something?
49
00:03:30,443 --> 00:03:32,345
They will bust a guy
if they find out,
50
00:03:32,378 --> 00:03:33,814
but they don't go looking
for it.
51
00:03:36,016 --> 00:03:38,284
The dislike I felt
for that sergeant
52
00:03:38,318 --> 00:03:39,820
has blossomed
into instant hatred.
53
00:03:39,853 --> 00:03:41,688
You know, I read someplace
54
00:03:41,722 --> 00:03:43,423
the UN was here to liberate
these people.
55
00:03:43,456 --> 00:03:44,758
Must have been a misprint.
56
00:03:44,791 --> 00:03:46,527
I'm gonna do something
about this.
57
00:03:46,560 --> 00:03:47,928
‐I'm talking to Henry.
‐Henry?
58
00:03:47,961 --> 00:03:49,930
‐Yeah.
‐Our Henry?
59
00:03:49,963 --> 00:03:52,298
Thought you said you were
gonna do something about it.
60
00:03:54,034 --> 00:03:56,837
Of course it's illegal
and immoral!
61
00:03:56,870 --> 00:03:58,905
I mean, I can order Baker
to release her,
62
00:03:58,939 --> 00:04:00,841
and he can pick her up again
five minutes after he leaves
here.
63
00:04:00,874 --> 00:04:02,308
Well, then get in touch
with his own, Colonel.
64
00:04:02,342 --> 00:04:04,344
Ask him to order her release.
65
00:04:04,377 --> 00:04:05,912
Well, there's just
one little thing wrong
with that fella.
66
00:04:05,946 --> 00:04:09,950
‐What?
‐Baker's colonel
has a moose of his own.
67
00:04:09,983 --> 00:04:12,352
That's rotten.
It stinks.
68
00:04:12,385 --> 00:04:13,920
‐Okay, okay.
‐Excuse me.
69
00:04:18,659 --> 00:04:21,427
Things dry quicker
in my tent.
70
00:04:21,461 --> 00:04:23,830
‐I never thought you'd
chicken out like this.
‐Oh, come on!
71
00:04:23,864 --> 00:04:25,932
If you haven't got
any more guts than that,
then I'm not gonna work here.
72
00:04:25,966 --> 00:04:28,702
I'll quit this outfit.
I'll quit the war.
73
00:04:28,735 --> 00:04:31,672
Really? Well,
who's gonna break the news
to Truman and MacArthur.
74
00:04:54,628 --> 00:04:56,963
Hey, Young Hi, can we, uh‐‐
can we talk to you for a minute?
75
00:04:56,997 --> 00:05:01,067
‐You got washing?
‐No, no, no, no. Uh...
76
00:05:01,101 --> 00:05:04,838
You understand that it's wrong
for human beings to own each
other?
77
00:05:04,871 --> 00:05:07,908
Roger wilco,
Captain‐san.
78
00:05:07,941 --> 00:05:10,511
Yeah, but do you
really understand?
79
00:05:10,544 --> 00:05:14,881
Yes. I make English perfect.
Speak very goodly.
80
00:05:14,915 --> 00:05:19,019
Hello, Joe. What do you know?
You got candy bar for mother?
She sick.
81
00:05:21,121 --> 00:05:23,590
That's goodly enough for me.
82
00:05:23,624 --> 00:05:25,091
Why do you stay
with this Baker?
83
00:05:25,125 --> 00:05:27,528
Are you in love
with that slob?
84
00:05:27,561 --> 00:05:29,129
What mean "slob"?
85
00:05:29,162 --> 00:05:32,398
It's a way of referring
to another person.
86
00:05:32,432 --> 00:05:33,767
‐Yeah.
‐Roger wilco.
87
00:05:33,800 --> 00:05:35,602
Don't love Baker slob‐san.
88
00:05:35,636 --> 00:05:37,571
Don't make monkey business
with him.
89
00:05:37,604 --> 00:05:40,406
Look, we can help you get away
from Baker.
90
00:05:40,440 --> 00:05:42,475
You can go back to Seoul
or anywhere you want.
91
00:05:42,509 --> 00:05:45,579
To run away,
I dishonor my family.
92
00:05:45,612 --> 00:05:46,980
Sergeant pay money for me.
93
00:05:47,013 --> 00:05:49,015
I can leave only when he say.
94
00:05:49,049 --> 00:05:51,652
Is it possible this kid
likes her work?
95
00:05:51,685 --> 00:05:54,555
No, she doesn't understand.
She's too young.
96
00:05:54,588 --> 00:05:57,423
I must work now.
Must wash more socks,
97
00:05:57,457 --> 00:05:59,125
press shirts,
and shine boots.
98
00:05:59,159 --> 00:06:02,062
Where were you when
I wanted to get married?
99
00:06:04,898 --> 00:06:07,868
Go ahead,
but tell Baker slob‐san
100
00:06:07,901 --> 00:06:11,004
that Captain Pierce wants
to see him on the double.
101
00:06:11,037 --> 00:06:14,675
‐You get it?
‐I get it, Captain‐san.
Roger wilco.
102
00:06:21,782 --> 00:06:23,784
Sergeant,
we've never had anybody
103
00:06:23,817 --> 00:06:26,520
in this outfit
who owned a moose.
104
00:06:26,553 --> 00:06:28,789
We don't believe in it.
It's very un‐American.
105
00:06:28,822 --> 00:06:31,424
It's un‐Korean.
It's un‐everybody.
106
00:06:31,457 --> 00:06:34,961
Therefore I order you to release
this person you've bought.
107
00:06:34,995 --> 00:06:37,097
‐Sir...
‐That is a direct order.
108
00:06:37,130 --> 00:06:39,933
‐You heard the captain.
‐I want her off this post
109
00:06:39,966 --> 00:06:42,703
and on the way
back to her family by
tomorrow morning. Dismissed.
110
00:06:47,708 --> 00:06:49,643
‐Dismissed.
‐What are you guys doin'?
111
00:06:49,676 --> 00:06:51,945
‐Buckin' to be chaplains?
‐Stand at attention, soldier.
112
00:06:51,978 --> 00:06:54,515
I've been in the army
a long time,
113
00:06:54,548 --> 00:06:57,784
and no meat‐cutter with
a temporary commission's
gonna work me over.
114
00:06:57,818 --> 00:07:00,987
So save that GI crapola
for the folks back home.
115
00:07:01,021 --> 00:07:02,889
Crapola? Will you...
116
00:07:02,923 --> 00:07:04,457
Make a note of that
for his court martial.
117
00:07:04,490 --> 00:07:07,127
You got a pencil?
118
00:07:07,160 --> 00:07:08,795
I'm a transient.
119
00:07:08,829 --> 00:07:11,097
Your authority over me
is limited, and you know it.
120
00:07:11,131 --> 00:07:13,634
So you can just stop
tryin' to push me around.
121
00:07:13,667 --> 00:07:16,870
Now, is there
anything else, sir?
122
00:07:18,972 --> 00:07:21,608
You know, you're
a pretty decent guy
at that, Baker. Right?
123
00:07:21,642 --> 00:07:23,176
‐Uh, yeah.
‐Great.
124
00:07:23,209 --> 00:07:26,547
And smart, too.
Here, sit down.
125
00:07:26,580 --> 00:07:29,583
Baker, would you be interested
in selling Young Hi?
126
00:07:29,616 --> 00:07:32,553
Yeah, we've always wanted
a moose of our own.
127
00:07:32,586 --> 00:07:35,221
‐A good transportation moose.
‐A one‐owner‐type moose.
128
00:07:35,255 --> 00:07:37,023
You just got finished
giving me a lecture...
129
00:07:37,057 --> 00:07:39,025
You gotta swing
with the times.
130
00:07:39,059 --> 00:07:41,728
‐Now, look, you paid $500
for her, right?
‐Yeah.
131
00:07:41,762 --> 00:07:44,631
‐We'll give you six.
‐For Young Hi?
132
00:07:44,665 --> 00:07:46,733
‐You're outta your mind.
‐Have a martini.
133
00:07:46,767 --> 00:07:50,236
Oh, thanks. I taught that kid
laundry, cooking, sewing...
134
00:07:50,270 --> 00:07:53,139
Well, I realize she's not
just another pretty face.
135
00:07:53,173 --> 00:07:54,875
I could get double that
for her in Seoul.
136
00:07:54,908 --> 00:07:57,043
But I ain't interested.
137
00:07:58,979 --> 00:08:01,782
‐Time's a‐wastin'.
‐Whoa. Stick around.
138
00:08:01,815 --> 00:08:04,518
‐We'll buy you more drinks.
‐I'll take a rain check.
139
00:08:04,551 --> 00:08:06,219
See ya, gentlemen.
140
00:08:08,589 --> 00:08:09,990
Do you believe that creep?
141
00:08:10,023 --> 00:08:12,826
Yeah, he's your basic
moose owner.
142
00:08:12,859 --> 00:08:14,528
Think it would look
too suspicious
143
00:08:14,561 --> 00:08:17,197
if he got run over by
a jeep in the shower?
144
00:08:17,230 --> 00:08:19,733
I could say I took
a wrong turn.
145
00:08:19,766 --> 00:08:21,735
I don't believe
we can beat this joker.
146
00:08:21,768 --> 00:08:24,104
Then what the hell
are we doing here?
147
00:08:24,137 --> 00:08:26,072
Why do we spend 18 hours a day
in that lousy operating room
148
00:08:26,106 --> 00:08:27,874
putting people back
together?
149
00:08:27,908 --> 00:08:29,743
Doesn't that have
any meaning?
150
00:08:29,776 --> 00:08:32,278
What's the purpose of that?
Practice?
151
00:08:32,312 --> 00:08:34,247
We gotta get that kid
away from him.
152
00:08:34,280 --> 00:08:35,849
How?
153
00:08:41,254 --> 00:08:42,823
What do we do best? Think.
154
00:08:44,758 --> 00:08:47,260
How do we get her
by drinkin' gin?
155
00:08:47,293 --> 00:08:50,330
I mean our real,
if only, talent.
156
00:08:50,363 --> 00:08:52,933
‐Operate on him.
‐Right.
157
00:08:56,703 --> 00:08:57,838
Ten bucks.
158
00:08:59,239 --> 00:09:01,942
Too rich for me.
159
00:09:01,975 --> 00:09:05,579
Your ten. I bump 50.
160
00:09:05,612 --> 00:09:08,114
‐That puts me away.
‐Yeah, me too.
161
00:09:09,883 --> 00:09:12,586
What do you say, Doc?
162
00:09:12,619 --> 00:09:13,920
Just a minute, handsome
stranger.
163
00:09:18,058 --> 00:09:22,128
He's got a pair of kings...
164
00:09:22,162 --> 00:09:24,965
an ace,
165
00:09:24,998 --> 00:09:26,900
and garbage.
166
00:09:26,933 --> 00:09:27,934
Got that?
167
00:09:31,204 --> 00:09:33,206
Any time, Doc.
168
00:09:35,008 --> 00:09:37,243
Uh, your 50 and 50 more.
169
00:09:41,982 --> 00:09:44,084
I call the raise.
170
00:09:46,352 --> 00:09:48,254
I'll take two.
171
00:09:50,090 --> 00:09:53,193
Two good ones, off the top.
172
00:09:53,226 --> 00:09:55,261
He kept the kings
and the ace kicker.
173
00:10:01,067 --> 00:10:04,004
He bought a deuce
and another ace.
174
00:10:04,037 --> 00:10:06,272
He's got aces and kings.
175
00:10:11,277 --> 00:10:13,279
I bet 100.
176
00:10:16,416 --> 00:10:19,052
And another 100, sweetheart.
177
00:10:20,787 --> 00:10:22,222
You're bluffin'.
178
00:10:27,393 --> 00:10:28,895
I call.
179
00:10:32,265 --> 00:10:33,767
Aces up.
180
00:10:35,468 --> 00:10:38,104
No good.
181
00:10:38,138 --> 00:10:40,273
Three deuces.
182
00:10:40,306 --> 00:10:43,243
You bet 150 bucks
on three lousy deuces?
183
00:10:43,276 --> 00:10:47,347
I'm putting my sister through
barber college. Any questions?
184
00:11:00,493 --> 00:11:04,898
He workin' on an open‐end
straight flush.
185
00:11:04,931 --> 00:11:09,135
All diamonds.
He's got the two,
three, four and five,
186
00:11:09,169 --> 00:11:12,105
and a jack of... spades.
187
00:11:17,778 --> 00:11:20,747
I need a top card.
188
00:11:20,781 --> 00:11:22,783
Dealer takes one.
189
00:11:26,787 --> 00:11:30,423
Shuffling, shuffling...
190
00:11:32,225 --> 00:11:34,427
The card he bought is...
191
00:11:38,965 --> 00:11:40,366
Hey, wait a minute.
Something's blocking me.
192
00:11:49,209 --> 00:11:51,745
Whaddaya say, Doc?
What's your bet?
193
00:11:51,778 --> 00:11:52,979
What's your rush?
194
00:11:53,013 --> 00:11:54,715
You got another war to go to?
195
00:12:00,153 --> 00:12:01,454
Uh, I'm still blocked.
196
00:12:04,858 --> 00:12:06,827
Oh boy, am I blocked.
197
00:12:09,863 --> 00:12:12,298
‐Bet or check, Doc.
‐I'm thinking.
198
00:12:17,838 --> 00:12:20,240
Okay, the trouble's
in the shower.
199
00:12:20,273 --> 00:12:23,243
I mean, the trouble's fixed.
I'm... I'm unblocked.
200
00:12:25,812 --> 00:12:28,982
The card he bought
is a six of clubs.
201
00:12:29,015 --> 00:12:31,251
No flush, but a baby straight.
202
00:12:33,486 --> 00:12:37,490
Okay, partner, how much money
you got there in front of ya?
203
00:12:39,225 --> 00:12:42,829
‐About 750 bucks.
‐Then that's the bet.
204
00:12:42,863 --> 00:12:46,499
‐If I call, it cleans me.
‐It's only money.
205
00:12:53,173 --> 00:12:55,175
‐Baby straight.
‐No.
206
00:12:56,442 --> 00:12:59,212
A teensy‐weensy flush.
207
00:13:03,584 --> 00:13:06,853
You got over 1,000 bucks
of my dough.
208
00:13:06,887 --> 00:13:09,823
And let's not forget this little
ol' IOU for 1200.
209
00:13:09,856 --> 00:13:12,258
Oh, I'm good for it.
I'll pay ya.
210
00:13:12,292 --> 00:13:15,128
The understanding,
before we started,
was a cash game.
211
00:13:15,161 --> 00:13:20,166
‐You took my IOU.
‐Only because you're
a fine human being.
212
00:13:20,200 --> 00:13:22,002
Now pay up,
fine human being.
213
00:13:22,035 --> 00:13:23,937
I ain't got the money
right now.
214
00:13:26,006 --> 00:13:28,174
You wanna get even, Baker?
215
00:13:28,208 --> 00:13:31,044
Get your IOU back and
1,000 of the money you lost?
216
00:13:31,077 --> 00:13:32,178
Who do I have to kill?
217
00:13:35,115 --> 00:13:37,217
Pick that up and put down
your pink slip on Young Hi.
218
00:13:53,499 --> 00:13:55,569
She's all yours, Doc.
I explained the whole deal.
219
00:13:55,602 --> 00:14:00,373
‐You understand, Young Hi?
‐Roger wilco, Hawkeye slob‐san.
220
00:14:00,406 --> 00:14:01,608
Boy, once she
learns somethin'...
221
00:14:01,642 --> 00:14:03,476
Well, this is it, Young Hi.
222
00:14:03,510 --> 00:14:05,211
You're a good kid.
If you ever need a reference‐‐
223
00:14:05,245 --> 00:14:07,313
‐Okay, yeah, fine, Baker.
‐Yeah.
224
00:14:07,347 --> 00:14:10,316
‐Well, you take it easy, kid.
‐Shove off.
225
00:14:10,350 --> 00:14:12,418
Yes, sir.
Good‐bye, kid.
226
00:14:14,487 --> 00:14:16,089
Okay, now listen, Young Hi.
You understand?
227
00:14:16,122 --> 00:14:17,958
You don't belong
to Baker any more.
228
00:14:17,991 --> 00:14:20,126
Roger wilco.
I belong to you.
229
00:14:20,160 --> 00:14:22,495
No, no, no. Now you can
go back to your family.
230
00:14:22,529 --> 00:14:24,998
I paid the money.
There's no dishonor.
231
00:14:25,031 --> 00:14:28,034
Go? I be good moose
for Hawkeye slob‐san.
232
00:14:28,068 --> 00:14:29,970
Make shave for you,
shine shoes,
233
00:14:30,003 --> 00:14:32,238
make laundry,
cooking on stove.
234
00:14:32,272 --> 00:14:35,041
‐You see.
You be very satisfied.
‐No, wait a minute.
235
00:14:35,075 --> 00:14:37,177
I get my gear.
Start work. You see.
236
00:14:37,210 --> 00:14:41,181
Everything be okay.
You be happy like hell.
237
00:14:41,214 --> 00:14:43,584
‐Young... Young Hi!
‐Yes, I come back.
238
00:14:43,617 --> 00:14:46,920
Don't worry, Hawkeye‐san.
I never leave you.
239
00:14:56,129 --> 00:14:58,198
"Dear Dad, we had
a little poker game here today,
240
00:14:58,231 --> 00:15:01,067
and it seems
I won a person."
241
00:15:04,304 --> 00:15:08,174
"Dear Dad, I know you always
wished I had a sister..."
242
00:15:11,044 --> 00:15:12,546
"Dear Dad..."
243
00:15:23,389 --> 00:15:25,158
(laughing)
244
00:15:25,191 --> 00:15:26,560
Hey, there's Captain Pierce,
245
00:15:26,593 --> 00:15:28,494
well‐known surgeon
and moose owner.
246
00:15:28,529 --> 00:15:31,097
‐Really?
‐He's the man
who coined the phrase
247
00:15:31,131 --> 00:15:32,465
"No moose is good moose."
248
00:15:32,498 --> 00:15:34,735
Drop dead, singly
and/or collectively.
249
00:15:34,768 --> 00:15:37,704
Told you he's one
of the great phrasemakers.
250
00:15:37,738 --> 00:15:40,240
Holy cow!
251
00:15:42,543 --> 00:15:45,612
‐We must be in the wrong tent.
‐Hey, Hawkeye, come in here!
252
00:15:45,646 --> 00:15:47,714
Yeah, get your butt in here.
253
00:15:55,321 --> 00:15:57,724
Yes?
254
00:15:57,758 --> 00:16:01,227
Hawkeye, somebody sneaked
in here and committed
a neatness.
255
00:16:01,261 --> 00:16:03,630
‐Young Hi.
‐Can you believe it?
256
00:16:03,664 --> 00:16:07,400
The clothes are hung up,
the garbage is off the floor,
the place is clean.
257
00:16:07,433 --> 00:16:09,536
‐It's sickening.
‐All right.
258
00:16:09,570 --> 00:16:12,506
Okay, calm down.
I'm as offended as you are
by this repulsive tidiness.
259
00:16:12,539 --> 00:16:15,141
It's all arranged.
260
00:16:15,175 --> 00:16:16,777
There's a truck leaving
this afternoon for Seoul,
261
00:16:16,810 --> 00:16:18,311
and I guarantee
she'll be on it.
262
00:16:18,344 --> 00:16:20,013
‐Now, are you satisfied?
‐Okay.
263
00:16:20,046 --> 00:16:21,582
But as soon as she's gone,
264
00:16:21,615 --> 00:16:24,250
we dirty up the joint
and get back to normal.
265
00:16:24,284 --> 00:16:29,656
They don't call you
the aristocrat of
the AMA for nothing.
266
00:16:29,690 --> 00:16:32,158
‐Please, no stay here with you?
‐No. I told you.
267
00:16:32,192 --> 00:16:35,361
You've got a right
to a life of your own.
And you're gonna have it.
268
00:16:35,395 --> 00:16:39,299
‐But I make you happy.
‐No. So long, Young Hi.
Okay, driver, take off!
269
00:16:39,332 --> 00:16:41,535
‐I be good worker for you!
‐Good luck, Young Hi.
270
00:16:41,568 --> 00:16:43,704
‐Please, I want to stay!
‐Wait a second.
271
00:16:43,737 --> 00:16:45,806
‐Please! I want to stay!
‐Young Hi‐‐
272
00:16:45,839 --> 00:16:48,174
‐I don't want to go!
‐Good luck.
273
00:16:57,283 --> 00:16:59,119
(chuckling)
274
00:17:03,223 --> 00:17:08,461
Oh, Hawkeye. Oh, your kisses
are driving me crazy.
275
00:17:08,494 --> 00:17:10,063
And I'm only using one lip.
276
00:17:12,165 --> 00:17:16,503
‐Oh! One question.
‐What?
277
00:17:16,537 --> 00:17:18,839
Why are we sitting
in the middle of a minefield?
278
00:17:18,872 --> 00:17:21,542
It's the only reservation
I could get.
279
00:17:21,575 --> 00:17:23,476
Every jeep in town
was sold out.
280
00:17:23,510 --> 00:17:24,545
(chuckles)
281
00:17:27,514 --> 00:17:30,483
Oh, oh! You're biting my throat.
282
00:17:30,517 --> 00:17:34,588
Sorry. I got carried away
and started a tracheotomy.
283
00:17:34,621 --> 00:17:36,823
‐Ow!
‐What is it?
284
00:17:36,857 --> 00:17:38,424
I bit your dog tag.
285
00:17:38,458 --> 00:17:40,226
(laughing)
286
00:17:40,260 --> 00:17:43,664
Oh, Hawkeye,
why do I go out with you?
287
00:17:43,697 --> 00:17:46,700
Because I got class.
I'm a high roller.
288
00:17:46,733 --> 00:17:49,302
Someday, baby,
all this will be yours.
289
00:17:49,335 --> 00:17:51,638
The minefield, the cesspool‐‐
all of it.
290
00:17:51,672 --> 00:17:54,474
Mmm!
(chuckles)
291
00:17:54,508 --> 00:17:56,276
(jeep approaching)
292
00:18:00,346 --> 00:18:02,716
‐Hey, Hawk!
‐Who is it?
293
00:18:02,749 --> 00:18:05,151
Trapper,
our neighborhood Peeping Tom.
294
00:18:05,185 --> 00:18:06,486
Turn off those lights.
295
00:18:06,520 --> 00:18:09,222
‐We got trouble.
‐What, wounded?
296
00:18:09,255 --> 00:18:10,824
I didn't hear any choppers.
What is it?
297
00:18:10,857 --> 00:18:12,492
The moose is back in town.
298
00:18:25,872 --> 00:18:28,441
Ho‐Jon says she left
the truck when they
stopped for gas.
299
00:18:28,474 --> 00:18:30,544
‐She hitched a ride back here.
‐Swell.
300
00:18:33,680 --> 00:18:36,683
‐What's the idea?
‐I your moose, Hawkeye‐san.
301
00:18:36,717 --> 00:18:38,251
I come back.
302
00:18:38,284 --> 00:18:41,454
‐But you're free.
‐Hawk, listen.
303
00:18:41,487 --> 00:18:45,425
We're sympathetic, you know.
But this kid is part moose,
part yo‐yo.
304
00:18:45,458 --> 00:18:47,561
Hold it.
305
00:18:47,594 --> 00:18:49,630
Excuse us a second.
306
00:18:49,663 --> 00:18:53,700
Just stand there.
Don't clean anything.
307
00:18:53,734 --> 00:18:55,902
Now, listen, tomorrow
we send Ho‐Jon into Seoul,
308
00:18:55,936 --> 00:18:57,804
we tell him to find
her family,
309
00:18:57,838 --> 00:19:01,241
he brings one of them back here,
and then they take her away.
310
00:19:01,274 --> 00:19:03,644
That could take a while.
What do we do until they
get here?
311
00:19:03,677 --> 00:19:07,748
‐Teach her to be something
besides a moose.
‐Give her a "person" lesson.
312
00:19:07,781 --> 00:19:10,416
Bingo.
313
00:19:10,450 --> 00:19:13,587
We can start de‐moosifying her
right now.
314
00:19:13,620 --> 00:19:17,724
‐Is she gonna stay here?
‐Well, Saint Frank is in Tokyo.
315
00:19:17,758 --> 00:19:21,795
Hawkeye‐san make sleep in bed.
I make sleep so.
316
00:19:21,828 --> 00:19:25,498
No, no, no. You take that bunk
over there.
317
00:19:25,532 --> 00:19:26,800
You can't make sleep like that.
318
00:19:26,833 --> 00:19:29,936
I'd like to make a little sleep
over here.
319
00:19:29,970 --> 00:19:32,472
Sleep tight.
320
00:19:34,407 --> 00:19:35,942
Don't let the bedbugs bite.
321
00:19:37,711 --> 00:19:40,480
I'll take the four o'clock
feeding.
322
00:19:40,514 --> 00:19:43,917
Okay, once more now.
We've never met before, right?
323
00:19:43,950 --> 00:19:45,619
‐Right.
‐Okay.
324
00:19:45,652 --> 00:19:46,887
Hello there,
I'm Doctor Pierce.
325
00:19:46,920 --> 00:19:49,355
‐How do you do? I am Young Hi.
‐Very good.
326
00:19:49,389 --> 00:19:51,491
‐Morning, Young Hi.
‐Hello, Joe. Whatcha know?
327
00:19:51,525 --> 00:19:54,227
No, no. Forget that.
Will you get lost?
328
00:19:56,597 --> 00:19:58,932
Gee, a person says good morning
and gets his ear bit off.
329
00:20:01,868 --> 00:20:05,405
‐Hello there,
I'm Doctor Pierce.
‐How do you do? I am Young Hi.
330
00:20:05,438 --> 00:20:07,808
‐Good. Keep going.
‐I am very pleased to meet you.
331
00:20:07,841 --> 00:20:09,442
‐Great.
‐I am good?
332
00:20:09,475 --> 00:20:11,512
‐You are beautiful.
‐Yes, I am.
333
00:20:11,545 --> 00:20:13,714
That you understand, huh?
334
00:20:13,747 --> 00:20:15,415
(overlapping chatter)
335
00:20:20,020 --> 00:20:23,557
Uh, Lieutenant Jones,
Lieutenant Scorch.
336
00:20:23,590 --> 00:20:27,360
‐Hi.
‐How do you do?
I am pleased to meet you.
337
00:20:27,393 --> 00:20:29,730
‐My name is Young Hi.
‐(cheering)
338
00:20:32,298 --> 00:20:37,037
‐I am also beautiful.
‐Yes. Yes, you are.
339
00:20:37,070 --> 00:20:40,641
And when you meet people,
don't look down.
340
00:20:40,674 --> 00:20:43,276
Look them in the eye.
And don't back off.
341
00:20:47,013 --> 00:20:49,315
We're all the same. Get it?
342
00:20:49,349 --> 00:20:52,519
Excuse it. Not same.
343
00:20:52,553 --> 00:20:55,789
‐How do you figure?
‐You need shave.
344
00:21:07,568 --> 00:21:10,436
‐Hey, Hawkeye.
‐Yeah?
345
00:21:10,470 --> 00:21:11,805
Just got word.
Ho‐Jon's back.
346
00:21:11,838 --> 00:21:12,906
He brought the head
of her family.
347
00:21:12,939 --> 00:21:14,875
That's the man we wanna see.
348
00:21:24,785 --> 00:21:26,787
Hey, Ho‐Jon!
349
00:21:32,993 --> 00:21:36,429
‐That's the head of the family?
‐He's Young Hi's brother.
350
00:21:36,462 --> 00:21:38,464
His name is Benny.
351
00:21:43,003 --> 00:21:45,005
Hiya, guys. How's the action?
352
00:21:46,072 --> 00:21:48,742
An Eagle Scout he ain't.
353
00:21:48,775 --> 00:21:51,778
‐Go get Young Hi, okay?
‐Okay.
354
00:21:51,812 --> 00:21:53,479
Did, uh...
355
00:21:53,514 --> 00:21:56,482
did Ho‐Jon explain to you
why we sent for you?
356
00:21:56,517 --> 00:21:59,553
You bought Young Hi from Baker.
Now you wanna dump her.
357
00:21:59,586 --> 00:22:02,388
What's the beef?
She goofin' off?
358
00:22:02,422 --> 00:22:03,757
The Dead End Kids in Korea.
359
00:22:05,892 --> 00:22:08,128
I'll give this back
when you're 50.
360
00:22:08,161 --> 00:22:11,497
‐You're here to take
your sister home.
‐We don't want a moose.
361
00:22:11,532 --> 00:22:13,867
No refund, guys.
You understand that?
362
00:22:13,900 --> 00:22:15,969
We don't want any money.
She's free to go.
363
00:22:16,002 --> 00:22:18,705
Just like that?
You guys are nuts.
364
00:22:20,774 --> 00:22:23,644
‐Hi, Benny!
‐Hey, Young Hi.
How are you, baby?
365
00:22:23,677 --> 00:22:26,079
How do you do?
I am pleased to see you.
366
00:22:26,112 --> 00:22:27,948
How is Mother and Father?
367
00:22:27,981 --> 00:22:29,550
Pop's okay.
368
00:22:29,583 --> 00:22:31,652
Mom's still delivering
for the black market.
369
00:22:31,685 --> 00:22:35,121
‐One Man's Family.
‐They must be treating
you okay.
370
00:22:35,155 --> 00:22:38,692
‐You look real big‐time.
‐Learn many things here.
371
00:22:38,725 --> 00:22:42,062
My English is much more goodly.
I work in hospital.
372
00:22:42,095 --> 00:22:45,866
‐Hey, that's terrific.
‐But you've come to take me?
373
00:22:45,899 --> 00:22:47,634
You come back to Seoul
374
00:22:47,668 --> 00:22:51,171
and we'll get 1,000,
maybe 1500 bucks for you, easy.
375
00:22:51,204 --> 00:22:53,607
Hold it. You can't let
yourself be sold again.
376
00:22:53,640 --> 00:22:56,042
You guys are brushing her off.
What do you care?
377
00:22:56,076 --> 00:22:58,679
I may get on my knees
and punch this kid in the nose.
378
00:22:58,712 --> 00:23:01,782
‐You got a chance
for a life of your own.
‐No more slobs like Baker.
379
00:23:01,815 --> 00:23:04,718
What's all this jive?
You know the score.
380
00:23:04,751 --> 00:23:08,655
‐I have duty to my family.
‐And what about your duty
to yourself?
381
00:23:08,689 --> 00:23:10,657
That is not
how I was raised.
382
00:23:10,691 --> 00:23:13,493
You tell 'em, baby.
Let's get your gear.
383
00:23:13,527 --> 00:23:16,196
‐Young Hi.
‐Will you guys lay off?
384
00:23:16,229 --> 00:23:18,799
I remember everything
you taught me.
385
00:23:18,832 --> 00:23:22,135
Everything.
And I am grateful.
386
00:23:34,881 --> 00:23:37,117
We got an E for effort,
anyway.
387
00:23:37,150 --> 00:23:39,085
That's the way
the moose bounces.
388
00:23:39,119 --> 00:23:41,822
‐We came close, you know?
‐Yeah, for a minute there...
389
00:23:41,855 --> 00:23:44,825
Yeah.
390
00:23:44,858 --> 00:23:48,595
‐I could use a drink.
‐A triple, I think.
391
00:23:48,629 --> 00:23:50,797
I know how
to make martini drink.
392
00:23:50,831 --> 00:23:52,766
‐Young Hi.
‐Are you staying?
393
00:23:52,799 --> 00:23:55,736
Not only staying,
also not going.
394
00:23:55,769 --> 00:23:58,104
I tell Benny most
important thing
I learn from you.
395
00:23:58,138 --> 00:23:59,673
Who to tell
"Shove off!"
396
00:23:59,706 --> 00:24:01,908
‐Hey, terrific!
‐Attagirl!
397
00:24:01,942 --> 00:24:04,044
Lieutenant Jones teach me
make martini drink.
398
00:24:04,077 --> 00:24:06,613
‐She has much knowledge.
‐Well, so have you.
399
00:24:06,647 --> 00:24:09,482
But Young Hi has
something else.
400
00:24:09,516 --> 00:24:10,851
I am also beautiful.
401
00:24:19,526 --> 00:24:20,827
Hey, we got a letter
from Young Hi.
402
00:24:20,861 --> 00:24:22,195
‐Yeah?
‐Great.
403
00:24:22,228 --> 00:24:24,531
"I am fine
and wish you are the same.
404
00:24:24,565 --> 00:24:27,701
"I learn much knowledge
here in convent school
in Seoul.
405
00:24:27,734 --> 00:24:31,538
"The sisters say one day maybe
I can work as helper to nurse.
406
00:24:31,572 --> 00:24:35,642
"I thank once more your efforts,
and ask God to bless you.
407
00:24:35,676 --> 00:24:37,578
"I write that to please
the sisters.
408
00:24:37,611 --> 00:24:40,747
"I am Buddhist person.
409
00:24:40,781 --> 00:24:45,118
With all love and respect,
your friend, Young Hi. Roger
wilco."
410
00:24:45,151 --> 00:24:47,621
‐Roger wilco.
‐She's a good kid.
411
00:24:47,654 --> 00:24:49,956
Yeah. You know something?
I really miss her.
412
00:24:49,990 --> 00:24:51,925
‐Yeah?
‐I wish she was here
right now.
413
00:24:51,958 --> 00:24:54,795
‐Yeah, me too.
‐Yeah, I could use a shave.
414
00:24:54,828 --> 00:24:57,197
And look at these boots.
I haven't had a decent shine
since...
415
00:24:57,230 --> 00:24:59,199
(overlapping shouts)
416
00:25:06,640 --> 00:25:09,109
♪♪♪ (theme)
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