All language subtitles for Colin.from.Accounts.S01E01.720p.WEBRip.x265-PROTON.eng

af Afrikaans
ak Akan
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bem Bemba
bn Bengali
bh Bihari
bs Bosnian
br Breton
bg Bulgarian
km Cambodian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
chr Cherokee
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
ee Ewe
fo Faroese
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gaa Ga
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gn Guarani
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ia Interlingua
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
rw Kinyarwanda
rn Kirundi
kg Kongo
ko Korean
kri Krio (Sierra Leone)
ku Kurdish
ckb Kurdish (Soranรฎ)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Laothian
la Latin
lv Latvian
ln Lingala
lt Lithuanian
loz Lozi
lg Luganda
ach Luo
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mfe Mauritian Creole
mo Moldavian
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
sr-ME Montenegrin
ne Nepali
pcm Nigerian Pidgin
nso Northern Sotho
no Norwegian
nn Norwegian (Nynorsk)
oc Occitan
or Oriya
om Oromo
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt-BR Portuguese (Brazil)
pt Portuguese (Portugal) Download
pa Punjabi
qu Quechua
ro Romanian
rm Romansh
nyn Runyakitara
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
sh Serbo-Croatian
st Sesotho
tn Setswana
crs Seychellois Creole
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhalese
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es-419 Spanish (Latin American)
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
tt Tatar
te Telugu
th Thai
ti Tigrinya
to Tonga
lua Tshiluba
tum Tumbuka
tr Turkish
tk Turkmen
tw Twi
ug Uighur
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
wo Wolof
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu

Original subtitles

(DOG WHINES)

('CHAIN REACTION' BY JOHN FARNHAM PLAYS)

(ALARM BEEPS)

# One shot in a revolution

# One drop from a poison pen

# One drop from a poison pen

# One fruit too small and bitter

# One tree too proud to bend

# One man to start the trouble

# One kiss to seal your fate

# One kid that needs some action

# One link in a chain reaction

# I got a fever, a fever in my soul

# No I don't want to die

# Before I get old

# It took some time

# Just to bring me here

# Nobody's gonna put me down

# Do I make myself clear... #

(MESSAGE DINGS)

# One shot in a revolution

# One drop from a poison pen... #

Oh, fuck!

# One fruit too small and bitter

# One tree too proud to bend

# One man to start the trouble

# One kiss to seal your fate

# One kid that needs some action

# One link in a chain reaction

# I've got trouble

# I've got trouble

# Trouble in my life

# And I've been living

# On the edge of a knife

# But I don't intend to let you down

# I'm gonna give you love

# Before I hit the ground

# One cruel and callous lover

# One blow below the belt

# One chance without another

# One heart too cool to melt

# One link in a chain reaction... #

(HONKS HORN)

Fuck you!

(DOG SQUEALS)

Oh, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit!

Hey you! Nipple!

# One drop. #

Oh, my god!

(THEME MUSIC)

Fuck! Fuck! I hit a dog!

Oh, my god, I'm sorry.

I...I didn't see it. I didn't see him.

Do you know this dog?

Oh, shit! Is it yours?

Oh, my god, no. I didn't see him.

Just didn't... That's OK.

I live just, um...

I don't know any vets.

Oh, wait, I know a vet.

Oh, great. No, I can't call her.

What? Why? Wait, wait, you know what?

I'll text her. Why don't you just call her?

No, no, it's complicated. I...we...just hang on.

Sorry, ma'am, do you know this dog?

Is he in the area? No, no.

Goodness, what happened?

Ah, this man just hit it. It was an accident.

Texting, were you?

Excuse me?

Live your lives by your phones, don't you?

No, hang...hang on a minute.

This woman just flashed her tit at me, actually.

So, yes, I hit a dog. Sue me.

Terrible!

Oh, fuck! You are!

Oh, fuck! You are!

Hey, can that not be the story?

Sorry, what...what story?

What you said to the old lady, that thing that I...

Oh, the...the...yeah.

..um, before you hit the dog.

I mean, that...that sort of is what happened, isn't it?

I mean, because... Yeah.

..because if that's not the story,

then what, I'm just a terrible driver?

Yeah, I mean, but who cares?

I care.

Oh. Yeah.

Just say that you got distracted

and you thought I was someone famous or something.

Right.

It's just a light sedative for the pain.

Given him oxygen for the shock.

He's only about four years old, no collar, no tags,

so you've got yourself a stray here.

The x-ray shows significant spinal damage.

He's...he's gonna survive, though?

Right?

Well, I mean, it's hard to say.

He's been struck by a car, so we're not...

Barely struck. I mean, it was more of a nudge.

Could you tell that to his spine?

Oh, OK.

Ah, what is the best case scenario here?

He'll be a high-needs dog.

You may need to manually express his bladder and bowels

if he's not going regularly.

What, like manually force it out of him...fucken hell.

It's also highly likely that he'll need wheels for back legs.

Ha! Wheels?

Yes, wheels.

Sounds like it's going to be pretty expensive.

Is it?

It is. OK.

Um...are you able to do...

can we do like some mates rates, or...

Mm. Oh, yeah, I can do mates rates.

Mm. Oh, yeah, I can do mates rates.

Great. That's awesome.

Yeah. Yeah. For my mates.

Are we mates again, Gordon?

Are you mates?

She's saying no.

I don't know, she might be saying...

No, that's a no.

Right. OK?

So, if you do treat him, and then you put him in a shelter,

he's not going to make it.

So, your other option today

is obviously you can have him put down,

and then you and you girlfriend can go back to whatever...

No, no, we're not together.

We're not together. No. At all.

No, I just...I...I saw... I got distracted by her

when I was driving a car, because she was...

she was looking to me like Lindsay Lohan.

Sorry, are you two telling me that

you've just met for the first time?

Yes! Absolutely. Yes. Just a...yeah.

Don't really know each other at all.

Just today. Whatever.

I'm going to give you a couple of minutes to decide.

Fucken hell.

Sorry, mate, did you hit her dog too?

No, we dated for a while.

Yeah, that's...pretty clear. Lindsay Lohan?

Yeah, that's...pretty clear. Lindsay Lohan?

Yeah, look, I...I hate to say this,

but I mean, we...we have to put him down, don't we?

Fuck, this is a nightmare.

Well, I can't keep him. Can you?

No. No.

My situation is...why can't you?

I run a business. I'm never home. I can't.

If you run the business you can take the dog...

I can't have a dog.

No, 'cause that means

that we will have killed a dog today.

Oh, no! No. We've killed a dog today!

Sorry.

OK, what's the plan?

I mean, I think...I think we have to really put him to sleep.

OK, then. Lisa! Room B!

Should we stay? I think, we should stay.

Yeah, yeah, we should stay. We'll stay with him.

Yeah, we should... Be nice.

Don't...I don't think that's...Sorry.

Oh, I'm so sorry for your loss today.

No, that's alright. He's not our dog.

I'm just wondering what kind of urn

I'm just wondering what kind of urn

you might be interested in?

Oh, no, no, no... I think, we don't need that.

We've got rosewood. That's really elegant.

No. Um, ash.

That's quite popular. Oh, good.

Will you be wanting a print of the animal's paw?

They make a lovely tattoo...

Sorry, do we have to do this now?

We need a decision prior to incineration.

Incineration.

No thanks.

OK, here we go.

Stop it!

Sorry about this.

Don't worry about it.

I'll take... I'll take care of him.

Cool, cool.

It won't...won't be a burden.

It's fine. Yep.

It was just really intense...

So, as you can see, this is just an estimate...

Oh, so you do have a normal voice.

Yes.

You're looking at around $12,000.

$12,000? It's a dog!

That's a lot.

Is this...this is the...

this is only if he makes it though, yeah?

Is there another rate?

No, it's either way. Just be back around four.

Why? But why? Surely you don't...do we need...

How long's it's going to take you to pay this back?

Not long, no. I'll do a GoFundMe or something.

Yeah, and I'll take care of him. I'm sorry.

GoFundMe's are great. Yes!

Yeah, we did one to take my mum

to an euthanasia hotel in Switzerland.

It covered everything.

Sorry to interrupt.

Um, so you...you can meet me back here at four?

Yeah. OK, cool.

And what was your name, by the way?

Um, Ashley. Sorry to do this.

What are you doing? Don't film me.

No, I'm not filming, it's just a photo.

Actually, could I film you?

You just say, "My name is Ashley, and I was responsible"...

Well no, I'm not... .."for part"...

No. No, I don't. I trust you.

It's fine. Yeah.

12,000. Do we have her details as well?

No. Don't need 'em. Just me.

Cool. Um...Alright, 4:00. Good.

I'm sorry, I'm Flash, by the way. Should have said.

She called you Gordon.

Yeah, I mean my name's Gordon,

but everyone just calls me Flash.

Flash Gordon. Flash.

Flash Gordon. Flash.

I don't know what that is.

Flash Gordon? Yeah?

He's the comic book hero.

Flash. You know, Flash Gordon.

Sorry, you guys can go.

(GROOVY MUSIC)

She showed you her boob on the street for no reason?

Yes.

Whole boob? Side boob? Nipple?

It was actually mostly nipple.

Whoa. Mm.

So, not much under-boob.

Not that I remember. Dang.

Yeah, I know. What was it like?

Brett, I've literally never seen you

so interested in anything.

There was a car on fire outside last week

and you didn't notice.

Yeah, I saw it.

Right, yeah.

What's happening with the dog, then?

OK, so with the dog.

Alright, so dream scenario,

he dies peacefully and karma's good to me.

Right.

So, I guess you're pulling from the business, then.

So, yes, with that, we are down... Mm?

..temporarily about ah, $12,000.

How many thousands?

12. Fuck me!

No, no, no, but it's this girl...this woman,

No, no, no, but it's this girl...this woman,

she's paying me back.

Yes, because exhibitionists

are known for being fiscally responsible.

No, she said she'd pay me back.

Hey... Oh, yes, she said it, did she?

Hey, Chi. Chi. Don't get mad at him today, OK?

It's a magical day for you.

It's a gland.

It is a real boob, in real life,

that he ordinarily wouldn't have seen.

Yes. It never happens.

It's very special.

Thank you.

You're welcome.

I'm going to do something somewhere else now.

She doesn't get it.

Alright, a little bit of hush please.

Some focus, some focus.

Alright, so we're moving on to the golf lift.

It's characterised by a raised leg at the back...

as you hinge down to pick up small objects only.

Alright, it might be a pen.

And that's, and I cannot stress enough,

that you can still do a lot of damage

just picking up a lot of pen.

Isn't that right, Sonia?

Didn't listen.

A shame.

Alright, alright, let's get to work, everybody.

Come on, come on, let's move. Come on.

Is he cute?

Yeah, but his back legs are fucked.

No, the guy.

Oh, yeah, he is pretty cute. I mean, a bit older.

Maybe more your thing.

That's it. Very good.

I just thought it was off that when I was like,

"I'll pay you back", he wasn't like, "Hey, half is fine."

Like he actually hit the dog. Mm.

Do you know what I mean? Was it your party tit?

Not even. It was the small one.

So, I think, James has blocked my number.

Well, good. He sucks.

What if I got a new SIM card and I was just like, "Hey man!

"Phone troubles, Ra-Ra-Ra. How are...how are you?"

Don't do that again, Ash.

Was that weird? Yeah. Ashley?

So, you were late today, so I'm going to have to get you

to stay back, do some rounds.

Oh, that's OK. I can until four.

Oh, no I can't, actually at all.

Why?

Full disco, I had some alcohol earlier.

Late and intoxicated.

No, I'm not intoxicated...

And full disco, Ashley, it's going to have to go on report.

And full disco, Ashley, it's going to have to go on report.

OK.

Oh, you student doctors,

you really think you're the chosen ones, don't you?

Alright, thank you everybody. We're done.

Very good work.

(FART SOUND)

(LAUGHTER)

Oh, god, don't be puerile.

Come on. Go on, go on. Do you know what?

You can go up to pathology and pick up some files for me.

Oh, no, Gene, don't...don't make her.

I can do it. Can...

No. No, no, no. No, I need you down here, Megan.

No, she can do it. Off you go, Ashley.

Come on, hooroo!

Say hello to James for me.

Come on, off you go.

Sonia, I'm not carrying you. Come on, off you go.

Much longer?

No. Found it.

Hey, did you call my mum again this morning?

No.

No.

That's weird, 'cause she said you did.

Mm?

Well no, I think she called me, 'cause...

Oh, OK.

..we have our own relationship.

Yeah, well, she doesn't think so.

Well, tell her to stop calling me, then.

OK, I will. Well, you don't.

I'll mention it to her next time we talk.

Mm-hm.

Look, I hate to have to do this, Ash,

but don't make up reasons to visit me at work.

Today is your study day. You're not even on the ward.

Yeah, I know, but I came in for OH and S training

and then farty Gene sent me up here...

Mm. ..didn't he?

Sure.

But, you know, since I'm here anyway,

I was...did you still want me to come to your cousin's wedding?

In...in Bali?

'Cause we haven't talked about it yet,

and I've never been to Bali.

Yeah, well, I just don't...

It's fine. Like, I don't care.

Well, tell Shannon to get me off the hen's thread, then.

Well, tell Shannon to get me off the hen's thread, then.

Yeah.

Yeah, I think, I'll let my family know

it'll just be me.

Will it?

Mm.

I did get a sale fare, though, so don't be weird if you see me.

Please, please don't come.

Please.

Bye, James.

Mm, well, our deepest sympathies.

Yes.

Could you excuse me just one moment?

Mm.

Ah, sorry, could you not play with that ball?

That's for the cats.

Oh, I'm sorry, just $12,000,

I thought I might have got a ball of yarn with it as well.

Nup?

Sorry about that.

Yeah, I know, I know.

OK, bye.

This one's not coming back, you know.

She's like the lady from before? She's not coming back.

She's like the lady from before? She's not coming back.

I've got no way of contacting her

because you wouldn't get her details.

Now, I'm $12,000 in the hole...

Oh, there she is.

Hey.

What happened? Oh, they don't know yet.

He's still in there. OK, where are you going?

Oh, apparently there's a decent coffee shop

next door and they said we should wait there.

Oh, we wait there? Yeah.

OK. But our vet's with him.

OK. Is it a different vet?

No, Yvette.

But is it the same lady as before?

Is it our vet?

Yeah.

Sorry, are you having a stroke?

What are you saying?

Yvette is operating on him...

Yvette? The vet's name's Yvette?

Yes! The vet's name's Yvette.

Yeah, it is.

Doctor Yvette.

Don't talk to her. Come on.

Oh, god!

I'm Yvette, and I'm a vet. Got it. I've got it.

So, you don't actually know which one I'm saying there.

I know. I'm a vet and I'm Yvette.

I understand.

I think, you're getting a bit hung up on it.

A bit? It's mental.

I mean, you have a point.

I think, if your name was Jeeves,

you probably wouldn't become a butler, would you?

you probably wouldn't become a butler, would you?

Why?

Because all...what?

Because all butlers are called Jeeves in the movies.

How old are you?

Are you two waiting on the dog?

Yes. Yeah.

Yeah, I'm so sorry, guys. They've called for you.

He didn't make it.

Oh, my god! Oh.

You might want to go next door.

We killed a dog. We didn't kill him.

It was...it was an accident.

Yeah, I'm sorry.

12 years, though. Decent innings.

Thank you. What?

You said 12 years?

No, ours was like four.

Wait, 12 years?

That's us.

Hang on. Ah, Lisa? Ah, which dog is it?

OK.

Sorry, your dog is fine. You can go next door.

Yeah, you two.

Chocolate labs and their livers. I'm sorry.

Chocolate?

Ringo's dead?

I just put him in for his shots. I don't understand.

I just put him in for his shots. I don't understand.

Is he alright? Yeah.

He looks pretty good.

Wanna say sorry for hitting him?

Sorry for hitting you, mate, but I didn't do it alone.

So, ah, let me give you guys a lift to your place.

That'd be nice. Thank you so much.

No worries.

And it's not because I need to know where you live or anything.

You know, I know you're paying me back.

Yeah, I wasn't thinking it was...

Yeah.

So, what's your address?

I'll just show you.

Here we are.

Yeah, this is me.

OK.

Great. Alright, well, I'll be in touch.

Great.

I've got your number. Alright.

Do you want a hand with him, or...

No, no, all good. Yeah.

I'll let you know how he goes.

Yeah, great. What a day.

Yeah, so weird. OK.

Ooh. Thank you.

Thanks. See ya.

Bye.

Great to see you again, mate.

Ashley.

Peter! How are you?

It's Patrick, and I hope that's not what it looks like.

What's it look like?

Ah, it looks like you're trying to bring an animal

into the house.

Yeah, to be fair,

I wasn't expecting to see you here today.

Today was your inspection.

Was it?

I have sent you so many texts, Ash.

Sorry, can I just pop him inside?

He's pretty heavy...

In the public walkway. Feel free.

Alright, so he was actually hit by a car today

and I rescued him.

I really don't care.

This house has a strict no pets policy.

This house has black mould!

We painted over that.

Sorry, Ash, you're going to have to lose the dog or move out.

OK.

Um, can I just have a couple of days to figure something out?

It's against policy. Policy, yep.

You signed the lease.

Can you shut the fuck up, Tyler!

I'm talking to Peter!

(WHISPERS) Patrick. Patrick. Fuck it!

OK, wow. Right.

OK, wow. Right.

I'm coming in. That's what's happening here.

OK. Sorry.

I'm coming in. I'm coming in with the dog.

I'm coming in. Move! Move. Now.

Go on. It's my rights. It's 2022.

You can't block a woman.

Move!

Sorry. That's OK.

Are you sliding?

Yeah, I...I think this is on backwards, mate.

No, no, no, because see the red?

The red goes underneath.

Didn't the vet say... That's right.

..red goes on top? Underneath.

We're good. I think, we're good.

OK, cool.

I think, that's... Is he alright?

I think, that's it. Is the brake on? Is there a brake?

I don't think there is a brake.

Hello. Hello, doggo.

Does it work? Come! Come here! Come!

Come. Oh, my goodness!

Yes! Oh, my goodness it works!

Alright! OK!

What a good boy! Nice job.

Oh, wow. Oh, hi!

OK. He's a good boy, isn't he?

I have to go. I'm beyond late.

Oh, and um, I'm really sorry about the mess.

Oh, and um, I'm really sorry about the mess.

Obviously I wasn't expecting anyone.

No, it's fine. And like, thanks for having me.

Just for the afternoon, while I sort something out.

Cool. It's a nice place.

Yeah.

Is that a unicycle?

Yeah.

Oh. And yours?

Yeah.

How long have you been single?

A while. So, ah, bathroom's through there.

Make yourself at home.

Mm-hm. Yeah. OK, bye.

I do have a nest camera somewhere in the house.

Always on.

OK. I'm joking. Am I?

No I am. I trust you. You're trust worthy.

And you owe me $12,000, so double the trust.

OK, be good. Bye.

Christ, can talk!

Hey? Ah, nothing. Bye!

You said, sorry, the bathroom's this way?

Yep. Bye.

Beeeee!

Fuck, fuck, fuck. Fuck.

Oh, my god!

Oh, my god.

Fuck it, really?

What?

Pretty good, actually.

Fuck!

(UPBEAT MUSIC)

Fine.

Fuck me.

Fuck me.

Sorry, everybody.

That was disgusting. You're disgusting.

Hope you enjoy it. Cheers.

Who came in today? Hey.

What is...

Oh, you just missed Broadsheet Beckett.

Oh, you just missed Broadsheet Beckett.

What? When?

I wanted to show him the new...what'd he have?

A cider.

He was supposed to try my IPA.

Who bought him a fucking cider, Brett?

Well, he wanted a cider.

Who reviews a brewery and orders a cider, mate?

Well, he seemed to like it,

and he thought the complimentary chickpeas were a nice tough.

I gave him a hat. You're welcome.

Yeah, OK. Yep, OK. OK.

So, ah, how's the dog and the flasher?

Ah, dog lived. But girl's at my house.

What? What about her place? Well...

You haven't found yourself another homeless chick, have ya?

No, that girl was not homeless.

Yeah, she was. No, she wasn't.

She had a car. That's not the point.

Point is, she can't take the dog to her house

'cause she can't have dogs at her house, so...

OK. Listen to me, dumb-dumb.

Most women don't just show you their tit on the street.

Seriously? It's weird.

I don't mean to slut-shame her or whatever.

I mean, good on her for taking control of her sexuality.

But now she's in your home.

I'm all sweaty and nervous for you, Gordy.

You need to be firm with this girl. You do not need a dog.

You need to be firm with this girl. You do not need a dog.

Get them out. Yep. OK.

Fuck, yes, you're right. You're always right.

What was I thinking? I don't know.

OK.

I need to take control of this now. Right now.

I've missed Beckett now, so I've just gotta do this.

I'll see you in the morning, first thing for the sour, yeah?

7am, baby. OK.

Hey, text me if you see the other one.

OK. What? No! Bye.

Hey, how's it going?

Hey, good.

Yep, the pain meds are working a treat.

Great.

And the dog's doing good, too.

Hey? Oh, good. Gag. Icebreaker.

Just a little joke. Yeah.

Um, so.

I um...I've gotta go back to mine and talk to my house mate,

but I can't take the dog.

Hey? No, no, no, what? Yes.

He's looking for every excuse to kick me out.

No. No.

It can't happen, sorry. No. Yes.

It can't happen, sorry. No. Yes.

Listen, he's done a wee, he's had his medication.

I've written down what to do. He's in his dress, bag thing.

Hang on, hang on, hang on. We didn't agree to this.

I mean, has he done a poo?

Because I'm not helping him manually express out a poo.

You have to help me out. Do I?

Yes! Do I?

Because...because honestly I was driving along today,

I was minding my own business...

Yeah... ..I was on my way to work.

..we've done this. Have we?

Are you honestly not

Gonna offer to pay for half of that?

'Cause I'm a student. Did you know that?

I eat fucken cold cuts for dinner. And breakfast.

I was happy, quite happy, to put him down.

Were you? Were...were you really?

Yeah, alright. I'll pay half.

Will you? Yeah. Yeah.

Pay me...just pay me back half. You're right.

And can I leave him here tonight, and I'll get him in the morning.

First thing?

First thing. OK.

Just leave a key in a pot plant or something.

Has he...

OK.

Is there really nobody else you can call who can take him?

No, mate. Nobody?

Nup.

I've got a best friend, but she takes care of her Nan.

I've got other friends that are hugely

irresponsible and a Mum who sucks.

You have a boyfriend, or...

Nuh, not anymore.

We just broke up and I'm a bit...

messed up about it, so...

I'm not gonna just like booty call anyone.

Also, I'm doing 30 days of sexless with my best friend.

What day are you on?

Three.

Jesus.

Raising money for ovarian cancer. Cool.

Um, so, yeah I do have a really early start...

OK, that's fine.

..because we're doing a new batch in the morning.

I'm a brewer. Right.

I run a brewery.

Cool.

You said you were a student. What are you studying?

Medicine. Sixth year prac.

Really? Wow. That's impressive.

So, my Uber's a couple of minutes away.

Do you want a shot of tequila?

Um, no, I don't think I have...oh, you have some.

Yep. OK. Yeah, fuck it. Why not?

Go on.

OK.

I can't tell if it's a pro or a cony

that you just happened to have this in your bag.

Yeah, you've got a drum kit in your bedroom,

Yeah, you've got a drum kit in your bedroom,

so let's not play that game.

OK. Yeah.

Nice place. Do you own this?

Oh, god no. And the rent is slowly killing me.

Cheers.

To um...what's his name?

Who? Fluffy man.

Oh, I don't know.

Oh, we should give him a name.

We should. Yeah, but not a doggy name.

No. Not like Coco. Shit house.

Princess. Terrible.

He needs a strong name, like a human name.

Yes. Like...

Oh... Ian.

Not quite.

Walter.

Close. Who is he?

He's Colin.

Colin. He's Colin.

He is. Colin from Accounts.

Yes, Colin from Accounts Payable.

Colin from Accounts Payable, who's Working on the Big Merger.

Yes! That's his full title.

Yeah, when he's in trouble. Yep. To Colin.

To Colin.

Oh, ah!

Oh!

I think, the water was off today. I should have told you that.

I don't know?

Or was it not? Ah...

Maybe it's tomorrow. I don't know.

That was quite good. Should we have another one?

That was quite good. Should we have another one?

Fuck no. Oh, OK.

Um...bye, Colin.

Don't crunch too many numbers.

Good luck with the merger.

OK. See ya.

Alright, I'll see you in the morning.

Ooh. OK. OK.

See ya. Bye.

Everything's OK.

(SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC)

Oh, shit. OK, boy. Hey, hey!

Oh, good boy, good boy.

Hang on. Wait there, boy. Wait there.

Hang on, hang on, hang on, hang on.

Don't go. Don't go. Please don't go.

He's losing his mind. Yeah...

I'll make up a spare room for you.

I don't understand dogs. I grew up with cats.

Oh. Please?

I don't...I don't know what to do. I can't make him poo!

Yeah, it's just my Uber's nearly here.

I'll pay the cancellation fee.

It's more my rating...

Please. Please! He's...he's...listen to him.

Please. Please! He's...he's...listen to him.

Yeah, OK, I'm coming.

I'm coming, Col, I'm coming.

There's my Uber.

Let it go, mate!

Can you hold it?

No, I'm not doing it, mate. You do it yourself.

Come on.

Go or don't go.

I'm not here to...

You wanted to come out here.

I'm not fucking...nuh.

Oh! Oh, yes! You've done it. You've done it.

Oh, mate, that's impressive.

Good boy! Good boy!

You did it all by yourself.

Thank god. OK.

Alright.

Oh, my god, that is massive!

Oh, my god, that is massive!

Oh! Oh, god. Oh, god.

That is the biggest shit.

You must have been bottling that in.

Eugh!

Oh, Ahh! Well done.

OK, come on.

Back in, for God's sake.

Come on, little mate.

Here we go. Yes, good boy.

I'll help ya. Here we go. Oh, fuck.

Here we go. Oh, my god.

# Lookin' for like I lost a friend

# Jump out of my bed like, "Where the bread"

# You gon' hold a egg, Waiter bring the check

# When we talk, we Kalashnikov, Keep us in your thoughts

# Fully dressed at the crack of dawn

# Weapons letting off

# I can hear them from the block

# See them creeping through the fog

# Season's greetings, Now feeding season can start

# Oh my god look alive

# Lookin' like I live life on the crooked line

# I'm a dog I'm a dirty dog

# Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha. #

(DOOR CLOSES)

Captioned by Ai-Media ai-media.tv

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.