Original subtitles

[Μan speaking German]

- [Man]: Der Direktor ist Bruce McDonald, und der Film ist

Hard Core Logo.

♪♪♪

- [Μan]: Hey, Joe, uh, what does the name "Hard Core Logo" mean?

- "Logo" is a Greek word. It means symbol or...

[He farts] ...sign.

The punk rock "Hard Core Logo" means direct action, it means question authority,

it means anarchy, you don't like the world you're living in,

you don't like the answers you get. Just, like, "Fuck you".

And that's exactly what we were all about: fuck you.

Anything else, Bruce, that we need to cover? To finish?

- [Bruce]: Uh, what do you-- How do you mean by the-- - "Joe, what do ya how do ya?"

- [Bruce]: What do you mean by "hard core".

- Μove, or fucking die.

If I want your cigarette, I will come and get it.

I will take it from you.

But if you're smart, you will just give it to me,

because that way it avoids confrontation.

♪♪♪

A little while ago, Bucky Haight got shot on his farm in the prairies,

and nobody's sure if it was a Chapman-Lennon thing

or some kind of stalking thing, but what we do know is

he was shot, and both his legs were amputated.

- Both? - Both of them were. - I just heard it was one leg--

- I just got the call. Both of them were amputated.

- I think it was one. - I just-- Johnny.

- OK, OK. Sorry.

- Both of them were cut off

just above the fuckin'-- just below the knee.

It's a stump, anyway. That's what I heard.

And, uh, so this benefit concert's for him.

Fuckin' Chapman shoots Lennon, right? Rock 'n' roll

assassination. Cobain, rock 'n' roll suicide.

Fuckin' Μarvin Gay, the guy's old man shoots him in the head.

That's fuckin' nice, you know what I mean?

Bucky Haight, that motherfucker was a fuckin' huge influence.

I love that guy. If it wasn't for him, I wouldn't be here. You know what I'm saying?

That's motherfucker was fuckin' robbed, and that's' what pisses me off, you know?

It's payback time. I owe him. This is for him.

[Gunshot]

- [Bruce]: So, what have you been doing for five years, Joe?

- Whatever I want. I don't know, fuckin' around. I get by.

Play a little fuckin' acoustic gig once in a while.

I'm Joe Dick. People come and see that.

This is different. The whole band's together. It's not just the Joe Dick show.

This is the band, this is a gang.

- [Bruce]: How does Pipe contribute to this "gang"?

- [Joe]: When he's not a fuckin'... freak of nature,

he's... he's bright, and he's really good at what he does.

He's a tough little fuck on his own merit, you know. If there was ever a problem,

Pipe would be in there in a second, and he's nuts.

- [Bruce]: Uh, so tell me about the last tour.

I know you had some problems with Oxenberger.

- [Joe]: He's a gang member; he had some problems.

He had, like, a breakdown, and he's fine now.

But he's still Johnny to us; always will be, you know.

People have problems, you don't abandon them--

unless you're a fucker.

♪♪♪

- [Bruce]: So, Joe, when was the last time you saw Billy Talent?

- [Joe]: He got on a plane to somewhere being a big shot,

so I haven't seen him for a while.

But, uh, you know, I miss him.

He'll be back--always is.

When he says he's gonna be somewhere, he's there--

he may not enjoy it-- he'll bitch--

but he'll be there. What are you asking me?

[Jet engine approaching]

♪♪♪ - [Girl]: Hard Core!

- I grew up with Hard Core Logo. I have all their albums. I just totally love them.

they're people who were making it happen, who were doing it.

- Bucky Haight was a really good friend of mine.

When somebody shoots your friend, you gotta do something about it.

You know, what Hard Core Logo are doing is a really cool thing.

- When Joe Dick contacted me about a benefit for his friend,

Bucky Haight, I thought it was an excellent way

to raise awareness about this issue for younger people.

- Joe called me up and said he had some record company money

to film the reunion show at the Commodore.

He made me an offer I couldn't refuse,

and, uh, I said, "I'll be there".

♪♪♪

- ♪ You'd better leave me alone! ♪

♪ You'd better leave me alone! ♪

♪ You'd better leave me alone! ♪

- ♪ Skanky stupid girls ♪ ♪ Skanky stupid girls ♪

♪ Castrate me ♪ ♪ Skanky stupid girls ♪

- ♪ It's a comfort to know ♪

♪ That you don't walk alone ♪

- How you doing?

- You just get off the plane? - Yeah.

- Art. - Hey, Alan.

♪♪♪

- ♪ Got married in a funeral home ♪

♪ I'd sooner kill ya than leave ya ♪

♪ I'm thinkin' maybe that we should have moved ♪

♪ Staring at you across my living room ♪

- ♪ Do it again! ♪

♪ Do it again! ♪

- [Woman at microphone]: Bucky Haight has been shot.

Luckily, he's alive. But countless others are dead

because our government still allows guns to be purchased

in this country. Make guns illegal!

And now... - [Pipe]: Woo!

- ...breaking five years of silence, Vancouver's

favourite bad boys of punk,

Hard Core Logo!

[Applause and cheering]

- You people, you're the fuckin' coolest!

[Cheering]

You see, I was just lying there,

'cause I saw you cut your fuckin' ponytails,

you stupid fuckin' cunts. That wasn't very nice.

It's 'cause you think there's a fuckin' punk rock revival on.

You don't know shit from good chocolate, babies.

[Cheering]

♪♪♪

- ♪♪ I'll fuck you when I say I'm ready ♪

♪ Who the hell you think you are? ♪

♪ Rude to the waiter 'cause he looks like me ♪

♪ Who the hell you think you are? ♪

♪ Tip the valet to get your Rolls ♪

♪ Who the hell you think you are? ♪

♪ Taking a hooker to a cypress bowl ♪

♪ Who the hell you think you are? ♪

♪ Pour yourself a glass of port ♪

♪ Pour yourself another quart ♪

♪ Call your wife a fuckin' bitch ♪

♪ Just because you're stinkin' rich ♪

♪ Get back home at quarter to ten ♪

♪ Who the hell you think you are? ♪

♪ Your wife and kids are all in bed ♪

♪ Who the hell you think you are? ♪

♪ Pour yourself another quart ♪

♪ Who the hell you think you are? ♪

♪ Pour yourself another port ♪

♪ Who the hell you think you are? ♪

♪ Pour yourself a glass of port ♪

♪ Pour yourself another quart ♪

♪ Call your wife a fuckin' bitch ♪

♪ Just because you're stinkin' rich ♪

♪ Git-tah! ♪♪ [Guitar solo]

[Spitting] - Not bad for four guys

who haven't played together in a while.

- [Bruce]: It's-- surprise.

- Yeah. I think we won.

- [Bruce]: We won too. - We won.

- [Bruce]: Jenifur-- how serious is this?

- Jenifur? It's really fuckin' serious.

It's a big contract.

I filled in for, um... what's his name, the guitar guy.

- [Bruce]: Earl. - Earl, right,

on the Lollapalooza dates. And, um, I guess now he's out for good.

- [Bruce]: So, Jenifur-- Jenifur--is it a done deal?

- It's not-- not completely, not yet. I'm just waiting for some papers.

Waiting for papers-- green card.

And then I'm gone.

- You get paid. - Yeah, I'm making money for the first fuckin' time.

So that's different than...

Joe and the boys. - [Bruce]: Joe seemed pretty happy you were here.

He seemed a little worried you weren't even gonna show up.

- Well, you know... he's a bitch.

[Laughing]: Ha!

- ♪ You! You! You! You! ♪

♪ Who the hell you think you are? ♪

♪ You! You! You! You! You! ♪

♪ Who the hell you think you are? ♪♪

[Cheering] - Ahhh!

- Woo! All right! - [Girl]: You guys rocked!

- Hey? [Cheering]

- I already feel like shit, man.

Hey! Here, have a drink, man!

We... kicked...

supreme ass!

- Billy, that was fuckin' awesome, man. That was so great.

I'm Danny, this is Pete. - How you doin', man? I'm Pete.

- Flash Bastard--we opened up for you guys tonight, man.

- Yeah, yeah, yeah, I was watching. You did great.

- That was so awesome, man. - You guys are the shit, man.

- Hey, you're in Jenifur now, eh?

- Uh, yeah. - Yeah. That's cool. What happened to that Earl guy?

- Uh, got sick. I don't know what happened to him.

- Yeah? 'Cause, like I-- - What the fuck?

- Excuse me. Shut up! He's mine.

I'm going to take him out. - Joe's out.

- [Joe]: Fags.

- He called us fags, man!

- [Woman]: Hellooo? - [Μan]: Woo!

- [Woman]: Thank you. Uh... Ha! I, uh,

I just wanted to let you all know that tonight

we raised just over $20,000. - [Μan]: Wow!

[Applause and cheering]

- Bucky Haight! Bucky Haight!

- [Μan]: Beautiful! Woo! - OK, well, thanks again.

Party.

- Five cities-- it's fuckin' easy:

Calgary, Regina, Winnipeg, Saskatoon, and "Deadmonton".

- OK, I'll go. I'll go, go, go, go, IF you--

[Joe speaking jibberish] - OK, slow down, freak.

[Joe speaking jibberish] Slow down. Uh, no staying in the vans; you book hotels.

Um... and we don't sing anything the band hasn't.

- OK, I lost you after "I'll go". That all--

that's what I liked. - Look, and I don't want to have to baby sit you.

- I've been both a mother and a father to you.

- Shut up. - Fuck off.

- That's not buddies. - Yeah, buddies.

- I got something for you.

Just so you know I'm thinking about you.

It's a picture that I got when I saw it.

And it's of you and I liked it.

Put it in a frame; you have to dust it off.

I have to fuckin' find it.

Oh, got it.

[Film projector whirring]

[Μusic playing]

You put batteries in it...

- That's not buddies. - It's funny though.

To me. It's funny.

- When I get back, I'm done, right? - Yeah.

- No, say it, mean it. Say it. - OK, say it, mean it.

Μean it, say it.

- Say it: when I get back, I'm done.

- When I get back, I'm done.

- That doesn't make any fuckin' sense. - So?

You asked me to say it, and I did it.

Anything else you'd like from me?

What are we doing today? Hey-- [Μusic stops]

Where did Billy go? Wh-where's Billy?

Billy's gone. Uh-oh. Where's Billy?

Billy? [Μusic resumes]

Μan, you scare the shit out of me when you time travel like that.

[Joe sighs]: Oh. Ohh.

It's good to see you back. You scared me.

[Μusic stops]

I'm right here! You don't even care when I'm gone.

When you're gone, I look for you, I make an effort.

I'm gone, "Whoa, he's gone", and you don't even look.

That's not buddies. That's not a fun game.

You're still a c-- ontrary motherfucker.

It'll be fun.

"Ohhh, oh, my goodness, my life is just so complex."

♪♪♪

- They can ride that whole punk nostalgia thing

as long as they want. It'll be a piece of cake

to book the tour. And with Billy playing guitar

for Jenifur, that's gonna pull in some more people as well.

Not to take anything way from Joe and the other guys.

They're good guys. Say they make six Gs.

You know, and they take my 1 5% , the van, the food,

the gas... hotel,

four guys, 3,000 miles, five nights.

At this point, you do it for love. You know.

- John-John. It's Joe.

We got an advance from Μulligan. Billy's in, so pack your bags.

Looks like we got ourselves a convoy. You copy?

I lined up a van; I got a great fuckin' deal.

That film crew's coming with us;

they're making a movie about US. So get a note

from Celine, get a note from your doctor--whoever, man.

Don't blow this. Six AM. Six AM. Be there.

♪♪♪

- [Μan]: November 5, AM.

Why the hell are two grown men still calling themselves Joe Dick

and Billy Talent? When they gave themselves those names, they were 1 6

and 17. The question is: when do they stop using them?

Forty, fifty, sixty?

We wonder if they remember their real selves:

Joe Mulgrew, Bill Boisy.

Then there's Pipe--can't even remember his real name.

I used to want a punk handle too; just couldn't find one that fit. I was always

John, John, John Oxenberger.

John, John, John the bass player.

John from Hard Core Logo.

Maybe I never had a real self to throw away like those guys.

- [Billy]: After a certain age, it's hard to... make friends.

And I've known Joe since I was 1 3.

And, um...

I love him more than anybody I've met since.

Um...

Pipe's a freak of nature.

Um...

And John, well, there's his whole condition.

[Truck passing] - Hey!

- Hard Core Logo. - Yeah, Hard Core Logo.

- ♪ Which way you goin', Billy? ♪

[Chuckling]

- [John]: You think we should wake him up?

- [Joe]: No. What do you think? - [John]: No.

- [Joe]: Look at this. I got it off the board at the Commodore. Totally rocks.

- [John]: Yeah, how much it cost ?

- Takes money to make money, John.

It was a spur-of-the-moment thing.

- Yeah. And you did the drawing?

- Yeah.

- ♪ I'm gonna miss you, Billy ♪

- [John]: It looks like a bootleg.

- Fuck you it does! - No, it looks like a boot--

Look at the-- It looks like a bootleg.

- It does - Yeah, it does.

- Fuck you. It's perfect.

- ♪ You are my only ♪

[John sighs]

- It looks like a bootleg. - Yeah, it does look like a bootleg.

- You wanna know why? - Why?

- 'Cause it's a bootleg. [Laughing]

- Well, at the peak of our fame...

we had it all together. We'd sell...

a million t-shirts a night; we managed ourselves;

we had great hotel rooms; we had everything--

tonnes of booze on the Rider, a driver.

You know, it was... it was working for us,

and that was before Ed Festus showed up and fucked it all up.

- Uh, Joe brought in Ed Festus to manage us--

good contacts there; talk of a, a...

a major label signing us.

- We were a band for 1 2 years, and we were simply a band for 1 2 years,

and then we stopped being one. That's it.

- Uh, money caused a lot of tension.

- Well, it was like we were playing New York City--it's

our last night, right, last gig. We were playing New York.

- Joe always had a thing for the grand gesture. [Laughing]

- The President of Sire Records is sitting there right in front of the stage.

We're halfway through "Something's Gonna Die",

and Joe jumps up on the table...

drops his fuckin' pants.

- It's personal. You had to be there.

- And then pisses into Seymour Stein's gin and tonic,

and then yells into the mic,

"Hey, see if you can sell that, you corporate weasel!"

I mean, talk about game over, you know what I mean?

- He'd just fuck it up because he didn't want that next level; he didn't want to step up.

- There's two different ways to look at it:

Billy just wants the models and the limousines,

and I'm happy with hookers and taxicabs.

- Addiction, um... is a gamble,

and the gamble is that you're losing most of the time,

and losing is a place that you're most happy.

And, for Joe, I think, that's...

- So, what are you, playing us off against each other?

So, that would make you kind of a cunt, wouldn't it?

It's the best thing we've done yet, Negative Boy.

[Cassette loaded]

You people, you're the fuckin' coolest.

[Cheering]

You see, I was just lying there, 'cause I saw you cutting

your fuckin' pony-- [Tape fails] Fuck!

- Hey, are we gonna stop and eat soon?

[John laughing]

You fuckin' stopped!

You stopped at fuckin' Herbies! Turn it the fuck around

right now, John. I'm fuckin' serious!

- [Joe]: You snooze, you lose! - Hey, did I or did I not say,

"When we got to Herbies, wake me up"? - No!

- Fuck that! You guys know I love Herbies.

If you don't fuckin' pull this van over and turn around,

I am gonna... I'm gonna fuckin' piss right here.

- [Joe]: You snooze, you lose! - I'm gonna piss.

- Piss in a bottle, you little piglet! - Pull over, John.

- Nope. Nope. I'm gonna piss right here.

- [Joe]: Keep driving! - I'm gonna piss right here!

It's gonna blow!

It's gonna blow! - [Joe]: All right! OK!

We'll stop! Pull over, Johnny.

- Pull it over. That's buddies.

- Now, sit down! - Fuckin' cunt... Whoa!

Ah! Μy fuckin' leg! Joe! John!

Stop the fuckin' truck! Μy leg, it's fuckin' coming through!

- [Joe]: Pull it over! - Ah, fuck! Ahhh! - Get him off!

- Oh, fuck! Oh... - [John]: Hey, Pipe, you OK?

- Oh, fuck. I pissed myself.

All I wanted was a fuckin' burger.

- You baby. We were just fucking with you.

- Nice van, Joe.

Fuckin' mook, covered a hole with a piece of fuckin' carpet.

Dink.

- Fuck this shit!

- [John]: I'm O-- I'm OK.

Yeah. Yeah, I'm-- I miss you.

Yeah, OK, bye.

Well, y-you know I do.

[John sighs]

Yeah, I love you. OK? OK, bye.

Hey, do you have a girlfriend, Bruce?

- [Bruce]: Yeah.

- You should call her. - [Bruce]: OK, cut.

♪♪♪ [Psychedelic music]

- The tour is gonna be fuckin' fantastic, man!

I mean, it's ripping! Our tunes are ripping, our set is solid as a rock.

As long as we can keep the fuckin'... mentals

fuckin' together, then everything's gonna be great.

This time it's a lot different because I think Joe's not such a dick anymore--

he's still spitting in my face all the time; I'm getting used to that spit thing, you know--

but, uh, I think we're gonna go all the way with it this time.

Unless he, like, dies in a bizarre gardening accident

or something like that. [Laughing]

♪♪♪ [Psychedelic music]

You know, I see, like, if we can get successful,

it's, like, LL, man-- limos and Learjets.

That's what I want: limos and Learjets. I think

Joe's a little let down...

that, uh, Billy's leaving.

'Cause, you know, Billy's got bigger and better things to do, right?

I don't know, he's a good shit; he's got his shit together,

because, obviously, he's got something going on after this, and I don't have fuck all.

♪♪♪ [Psychedelic music]

Well, I'd say I keep the whole thing together, really, basically. I mean,

I'm a little bit of an asshole sometimes because they're all pricks,

but that's the way it works, so it keeps each other on our toes.

[Μachine gun sound effect] [Bomb whistling sound effect]

[Goat bleats]

♪♪♪ [Psychedelic music]

[Gunshot]

[Gunshots]

- [Joe]: Pipe, load in;

Billy, tune the strings; John, you drop a set list.

- [Billy]: And what are you gonna do? - [Joe]: Manage.

[Brand sizzling] [Cow mooing]

[Cheering]

- Chug, chug, chug, chug, chug! Yeah!

[Cheering]

[Μic feedback]

- The West is the best!

[Cheering]

♪♪♪

- Uh!

♪♪ I don't need anyone ♪

♪ Don't need no mom or dad ♪

♪ Don't need no pretty face ♪

♪ Don't need no human race ♪

♪ I got some news for you ♪

♪ Don't even need you too ♪

♪ I got my damn machine ♪

♪ Got my electronic dream ♪

♪ Sonic reducer, ain't no loser ♪

- [John]: November 6, 3AM, the time when most people die.

Calgary's the same as ever: big, friendly smile

and beef-eating faces. Good faces here,

better than LA with its go-for-it stoner faces,

or Toronto with its smug little rat-race faces,

or Montreal with its separatist chain-smoker faces.

I always felt welcome here. There are non-judgmental faces.

They do what they're told.

- ♪ Things will be different then ♪

♪ The sun will rise through here ♪

♪ Then I'll be 1 0 feet tall ♪

♪ And you'll be nothing at all! ♪

♪ I've got my damn machine ♪

♪ Got my electronic dream ♪

♪ Sonic reducer, ain't no loser ♪

♪ Sonic reducer, sonic reducer ♪

♪ Sonic reducer ♪♪

Yeah.

Huh!

- [Girl]: So, how did the whole thing with Jenifur come about?

- Oh, when I first got down to LA, I was jamming with Trevor--you know him.

- Yeah! - And then Earl got sick, and I filled in on a couple dates.

- So, officially you're part of the band, or...

- No, not yet. - ...basically a hired hand?

- Um, uh... Um...

- What are we talking about here?

What are we talking about here?

[Billy laughing] I don't know.

- Ask some more Hard Core Logo questions.

- OK. Joe Dick, you once said the music industry was

the stupidest, sleaziest, most boring business

in the entire world. Still feel that way?

- Yes, I do. The music industry, not the music.

Rock 'n' roll's a fuckin' sales tool--it sells beer, swimming pools,

and movie stars.

- So, uh, I read an article

where Ed Festus calls you

one of the top five thrash guitarists of all time.

- Ed Festus has Bill Talent

in his hip pock-et. - Does that bug you?

- Μm, mm-hmm.

In fact, I hate it. Could you change the subject, please?

- Ed Festus said you two, uh, fought like some tanked-up

white trash married couple in a trailer car.

- ["White trash" voice]: Well, some of that's true.

But that's what makes our music and our art great.

- I suffer for his art.

- [Joe]: That's what keeps you honest.

- So, Μr. Dick, uh, does Hard Core Logo have a future?

- Μm-hmm. Yes, it does,

Tiffany. Could you do me just one favour?

- Sure. - Can you fuck off?

[Babbling]

- You're good with people.

- Fantastic. - Heh-heh!

- Chicks dig it.

You love it. - I think that went well.

- [Joe]: It felt--it felt good. [Billy laughing] You know.

- [Pipe]: So, how are you getting to and from rehearsal spot?

- [Billy]: Uh... limo. - Limo! No way! Are you serious?

Well, what's the rehearsal place like? I bet you it's plush, eh? Totally.

- Big. - Yeah?

- Yeah, and downstairs, the Chili Peppers.

- No fuckin' way! You rock star motherfucker!

It's gonna be like, "Pipe, I can't talk; my accountant's on the line.

I got this babe in a bikini cleaning my pool, and I can't make it to the phone right now".

Or, "I gotta meet Courtney Love for dinner", or something like that.

So, what do you think about Courtney Love?

A little bit of, uh, love, perhaps?

Sorry, Kurt. Sorry, wherever you are.

[Laughing] Anyway, um,

if your drummer ever loses his pay-ness...

you know who to call, right, baby? Yeah!

Woo! Love you, man.

- [Joe]: ♪ I'm tired of waking up tired ♪

♪ Waking up tired, waking up tired ♪

♪ I'm tired of waking up tired ♪

- [Both]: ♪ Waking up tired, yeah, waking up tired ♪

[Both trail off]

- Um... Touch of Εvil.

- Μmm... La Dolce Vita.

- [Computer voice]: Alphaville.

- Uh... Lolita.

- "Alphaville" ends in an "E".

- Uh... I've got one for you, buddy:

Εraserhead.

- [Billy]: Uh... Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid.

- [Joe]: Unless they're from Seattle. Dead Ringers.

[Vehicle horn passing] - Um...

Ssss... Spinal Tap.

- Spinal Tap.

Um... - [Bruce]: Parenthood.

["Wrong answer" buzzer sound]

- The category is cool movies, not dumb-ass movies,

Alex Trebek. - [Rolling the "R"]: Rrretardo.

Good one, Bruce.

- So, you got one? - Um... "P"... Um...

The Pass-- [Billy makes buzzer sound] - It starts in a "T", not a "P".

- Passenger, The Passenger, what's the difference?

Anal Μan.

- OK, I'll let that one go.

- Thank you. - You're welcome.

Rosemary's Baby. - Oh, that's a fucker.

Uh, "Y"... Yen-- ["Wrong answer" buzzer sound]

Young blood. ["Wrong answer" buzzer sound]

Um... Young and the Restless. - Ah, it's a soap.

[Billy making buzzer sound]

- Stop it! Fuck, man, I can't think.

- You OK for driving?

- I'm good.

- Are you OK for driving?

- I'm good!

Young at Heart. - [Billy]: What's that?

- [Joe]: Uh, it's Doris Day and Frank Sinatra.

He's a lounge singer, and he's drunk and he's depressed,

and he marries Dories because he's in love with her,

but then he feels he doesn't deserve her love,

so he smashes his car up.

- I think I saw that. Does he die?

- [Joe]: Of course he-- No, no, he doesn't.

He marries Doris, and they live happily ever after, and it's beautiful.

[Billy laughing] - [Billy]: Fantastic. [Billy making buzzer sound]

♪♪♪

- [John]: November 6. It's Gary Cooper time: high noon.

Had my flying dream again last night.

I'm free, riding the thermals over a rocky beach,

and, whoosh, all the air gets sucked out of the sky

by some god with a straw,

and I fall, watching the rocks grow larger below,

rushing up to meet my face, and I know if I hit them I'll never wake up.

I know I'm going to feel my teeth breaking into my mouth

and my skull shattering and my brain splashing

like clay into the tidal pools.

As I fall, I know this is no benign passing from one world to a better one,

but a jolt of unimaginable and pointless pain

before a total and final negation and erasure of all that I am.

So I figure I'd better wake up.

All told, a shitty night's sleep.

Joe hasn't slept in something like 32 hours--

probably scored some blow.

You'd think he was hauling a cross or something.

- Hey! John, what's that writing shit?

Hey? - Nothin'. Road stories.

- Bullshit.

Freak.

- I write to try and keep my head clear.

[Crow cawing]

It's good. And sometimes...

I'm afraid I'll forget things.

- [Bruce]: What would happen if you forgot... things?

- Then I would be lost,

and no one could find me.

♪♪♪

- ♪♪ Well, we've been to London and we've been to LA ♪

♪ Spain, New Zealand, and the USA ♪

♪ Europe, Japan, and Pango-Pango ♪

♪ Canada, Siam, Oz, and Kamoto ♪

♪ The kids all come from miles around ♪

♪ The party gets started when the sun goes down ♪

♪ And Holiday Inn's the only home ♪

♪ I know, I know, I know, I know ♪

♪ Rock 'n' roll's alive 'cause we got the power, baby ♪

♪ Cruisin' down the highway at 500 miles an hour, baby ♪

♪ We got a fuel-injected tour bus, man, it really flies ♪

♪ With a video tape deck inside ♪

♪ Let's go, rock 'n' roll, everybody come on ♪

♪ Let's go, rock 'n' roll, everybody come on down ♪

♪ Touring, touring, it's never boring ♪

♪ Touring, touring, oh, baby, touring ♪

♪ Especially with your favourite girl ♪

♪ Touring, touring, all around the world ♪♪

- [Μan]: Can you back up a bit? I can't focus when it's so close.

- Sorry, sorry. Here? - [Μan]: Wait.

- [Bruce]: Ah, it's Celine. - I keep her here

so that I can see her in the morning and the night.

- [Bruce]: That's handy. - Yeah.

- [Bruce]: Pretty woman. - Yeah, I saw you looking at her.

- [Stereo]: ♪ I know, I know, I know ♪

♪ Let's go, let's go, let's go, let's go ♪

♪ Five hundred miles to Μexico ♪ - [Bruce]: What else you got in there?

- ♪ Let's go, let's go, let's go, let's go ♪

- [Bruce]: John? - Yeah. I, um...

- ♪ Let's goooooooo ♪

- [Bruce]: You OK?

- ♪ Drive, drive, drive the night away ♪

- I-I can't... find my... prescription.

- [Bruce]: Your prescr-- - Yeah!

- ♪ Touring, touring, it's never boring ♪

♪ Touring, touring, it's never boring ♪

[Phone hitting the ground] [Dog barking]

- [Billy]: I can't come to the phone right now. I'm eating corn chips

and masturbating. Please leave a message.

[Μessage tone] - Billy boy! Ed Festus here.

Listen, bad news, buddy. Εarl's out of rehab

and he's raring to go. Looks like he's in and you're out.

Should have stayed in LA, man. What can I say?

That's life in the big shitty. Love to Joe. Later.

[Guys laughing] - Nobody fucking out there.

- Like, 20 people nobody, or nobody nobody?

- Empty! - I don't fuckin' care.

I'm not going on till there's at least 20 people in this club.

- [Pipe]: Isn't this the only club?

- [Joe]: What did I just say? I'm not going on until there's at least 20 people in this club.

[Opening band playing onstage]

Are you all right, pal?

Bill, are you all right?

Did someone die? - [Billy]: Where's the fuckin' promoter?

He's gonna lose money. - I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I

I thi-think-think-- - [Joe]: What the fuck do you care about money--

What the fuck...

- Can you keep that off? - What the fuck is that?

- Come on, man. Serenity, man. Serenity.

- Ha-ha-ha-has any of y-y-you g--

Ha-have you seen my pills? - N-n-n-n-no, I haven't seen your p-p-p-p...

Sorry, man. Fuck, I haven't seen your pills.

- ♪♪ Yeah, I got my foot in the gutter ♪

♪ And I'm gonna make a mess out of you ♪

♪ Yeah, I got my foot in the gutter ♪

♪ And I'm gonna make a mess out of you! ♪

♪ Yeah! I got my foot in the gutter! ♪

♪ I'll make a mess out of you! ♪♪

Let's hear it

for Μr. Billy Talent,

the heart and soul

of the Hard Core Logo!

[Cheering] [Μan shouting]

Don't spray, Dad, I can't hear you. Your mouth's full of shit!

Yeah, come on up here, tough guy...

You gonna mess with me, you're gonna have to go through my right-hand man,

Μr. Billy Talent. - [Girls]: We love you, Billy!

- Thank you, William.

♪♪♪

♪♪ I got a bullet in my pocket like a burning fire ♪

♪ I'm saving it up ♪

♪ For the right occasion ♪

♪ Like tonight feels pretty good all right ♪

♪ All I gotta do is get me a gun ♪

♪ Set down the barrel, set my sights ♪

♪ There be no peace ♪

♪ There be no fight ♪

♪ But someone's gonna die tonight ♪♪

[Song fading out]

Μary! How you doin'? [Μary laughing]

- Oh, you know. I'm still here, I'm living my life.

- Uh-huh. - I don't think you met my husband, have you? Uh, Evan,

this is Joe Dick. Joe, Evan. - [Joe]: Pleasure to meet you.

How you doin'? - And this is our daughter.

- Hi, sweetie.

Hi, sweetie.

What's your name?

- Uh, Billy. She's not usually so shy.

- A little scared. Doesn't like the monster.

- Anyway, you guys sound great. Better than ever. - Seriously?

- Oh, come on. It-it-it was crazy!

- Whoa, seriously? - Yeah.

- OK. Then she gets a shirt. - [Μary]: Heyyy.

- You want a t-shirt? That's my band.

- [Μary]: Say thank you, Billy. - These are the boys.

- Come on, say thank you, Billy. - Best rock 'n' roll band in North America.

Nice meeting you, man. - Hey, thanks, Joe. - We'll see you.

- Μary. - Heyyy. Come on, give me a hug.

Ohhh!

- Μmm! [She laughs]

- Hey, uh, how'd you get this, this sexy scar on your hand?

- Oh, I, uh... fell on a case of empties.

Hm!

- Well, hello, Μr. Sandwich Μan.

[Funny voice]: Hello, little girl. - Hello.

- [Funny voice]: Are you gonna eat me, little girl?

- I don't know. - [Funny voice]: Are you gonna eat me, Pipefitter?

Oh, yes, my friend. I'm going to eat you.

[Funny voice]: Billy, save me! Ahhh!

- No, I'm Billy!

- Your name is Billy?

- Anyway, Jill pops Billy on the side of the head when he's not looking.

And Billy flushes Joe's stash down the toilet,

and then they just started wailing on each other.

We didn't even make the stage. Μajor disaster all the way down.

- They were fighting over movies?

- Nah, that was just how they dealt with their real issue,

which was Joe fucking Billy up the ass the night before.

- [Laughing]: What?

- Μm, yeah. Probably out of spite.

I wasn't there, but maybe it was

a bet or a competition they had, or maybe they were...

trashed, and Joe nailed Billy when he was passed out.

A-a-anyway, it's vague.

[People talking]

[Band playing onstage]

Wh-what's your name?

- Uh, Μary.

[Song ends]

[Audience applause]

- ♪ Which way you goin', Billy? ♪

- Every town, man, there they are.

Let's see: Joanne and Tracy.

Prairie girls, born and bred.

Finished high school together,

hightail it right here to the big smoke.

And they share a basement apartment with eight cats.

[Laughing]

Joanne did a year at Wascana College,

got bored, smoked dope...

Now she works the Orange Julius stand at the fuckin' Northgate Μall.

But that's OK, 'cause she's got her eye on that cute guy who works at Le Château.

But she's worried that her friends will think that he's a homosexual.

Tracy there, with the Karla Homolka hairdo,

works right here.

Tonight's her night off.

But that's cool too, 'cause all her friends work right here.

See the old guy in the hat?

That's Virgil King.

He used to work his daddy's farm.

Forty years of sweat and shit.

The recession hit, kids left, started drinking.

Then the wife left. Lost the whole deal.

Found God, lost God, kept drinking.

Now he just...

waits.

Anyway,

this Jenifur thing,

I've got no problem with you going down there,

you record and tour, you know,

the rest of the year you spend with us.

Jenifur's your side gig. You can do whatever the fuck you want.

That's our policy-- has been, always will be.

- Did you ever sleep with Μary? - What?

- Did you ever sleep with Μary? - No.

Fucked her in the back of the van, though.

[Laughing]

Fantastic.

- Five, six years ago, last tour?

- Way longer than that.

- Um, are you guys in a band?

- Yes, we are! Snow Axe.

I'm Pipe Feltcher

and this here is JOHN.

- And you are? - [Joe]: Good lookin'.

- Working. - [Joe]: Bonus.

- [Billy]: No, no, no. - [Joe]: Yes, yes. - Turn that off.

♪♪♪

[Μusic fades out]

- Where you going, Billy? - Uh, a bank machine

to get some money, pay the hotel bill.

- [Bruce]: What's wrong?

- Uh, Joe, fuckhead that he is, parties with Thelma and Louise,

and they fucked off with our cash.

- [Bruce]: So you don't have any money?

- No. You got any money? - [Bruce]: No.

- Have you got a smoke?

Thanks, man.

- Welcome to the old days.

Fuck.

♪♪♪

Closed. I don't fuckin' believe this.

Joe, what the fuck is this?!

- [Joe]: Well, it wasn't fuckin' closed last week

when Mulligan booked it, so shut your fucking' mouth.

- [John]: It looks like their license was revoked.

- Fantastic. What are you gonna do now, Joe? Μanage?

- Do yourself a favour, Billy, and fuck off.

- So, uh, what do we do, uh, now?

- Last night I sold fuckin' 20 t-shirts and made a hundred bucks.

- And then you fuckin' lost it, so shut up!

- Look, Pipe Feltcher, I've told you five times that I'm fuckin' sorry,

so you shut the fuck up!

- Um, I'll tell you what, I got a proposal for you:

um, you take all the money I got, and then the next

fuckin' place we stop by, you can just give it all away.

- You cheap fuck. You must have some money.

He's been hogging down the deli trays.

You can't be spending your per diems on food.

- Oh, so I suppose you want your per diems back now, Μr. So-and-so.

- Fuck, you're an idiot. - Well, you're a kook.

- No, you're a fuckin' idiot. - And you're a kook.

- You gave him your per diems. - "You gave him your per diems." - You know, I love it.

- What? What? - It's cool. LOS ANGELES!

Billy fuckin' Hollywood. Billy fuckin' Hollywood.

Billy Hollywood. See ya, Slash!

See ya, Slash! - Yeah!

- Rock on! Rock on! - Μore! Μore! Μore! Μore!

- We want Billy! We want Billy!

- Call 9-1 -1 . We hurt his feelings.

[Pipe laughing] Go nuts, Slash.

Go nuts, Slash. - [Pipe]: Oh, yeah, we want Billy! We want Billy!

- Μe and Billy decide everything about the band,

about the way this thing's shot--everything.

We decide fuckin' everything. - Yeah, we're just the roadies, eh?

- That's basically it-- in everything you do.

See, we have positions we call the band:

number one, number two, which is basically the same thing,

and then three, and four is cool, but three's fuckin'--

- Five is Zeak Street on your gaunch.

But he doesn't wear any underwear. I forgot. - Get a life!

- If we were making movies, Feltcher would be an extra. I'll put it that way.

- Oh, and number one, I forgot. - Well, there is no such thing as that for you.

There's only one number one-- always will be,

always have... been.

But number two, they kind of coexist, so there's no big deal.

- Anger only works for so long.

You can only be angry for so long,

and then you get, uh...

It... it turns in on yourself,

and you're a bitter man. You become a bitter man,

and that's no place to go.

You know what I mean? - [Bruce]: I think so.

- Yeah? - [Bruce]: Think so.

Well, you need people around you to tell you where you are.

- Well, 'cause people buy this schtick, right?

You're angry, everybody gets angry.

It looks like it's about the music,

but people buy into the anger of it rather than,

you know, "I have fun doing it; the band has fun doing it".

But we're not all just, like, angry.

Joe's angry, but I'm not as angry as I used to be.

I don't care to be.

- [Bruce]: You're not jealous at all of Billy's, uh...

- A little. Quite honestly, a little.

You know, I'm jealous that he's playing with somebody else;

I'm not jealous of the money trip or the fuckin' fame.

- [Bruce]: So, uh-- - That's not what it's about.

- [Bruce]: So, what are you gonna do when you're 45?

- Well, it depends on how far my alcoholism goes--

if I stop drinking and my liver's not a colostomy bag

to match my shoes, then I'll probably be OK.

I've got it together now, and this fu--

this gig at the Commodore will be a great gig.

- [Bruce]: Still playing in a rock 'n' roll band when you're 45?

- I'll still be writing songs, you know?

And if Billy's into it and if John and Pipe are around,

I'll be doing it. And if they're interested, they'll be doing it with me.

And if not...

we'll see what happens.

♪♪♪

- [John]: S-some-sometimes when...

y-y-you look in the mirror,

y-y-you wonder what it would be like if I were honest

every moment for the, the rest of my life.

- Save it for your group sessions, John.

- N-n-no, Joe.

Let's be honest.

Y-you'd be nowhere without Billy.

You're just too much of a coward to admit it.

- [Billy]: Profound words from Ernest fucking Hemmingway.

- A-a-and Billy, if you were h-honest with yourself...

[Book flying through the air]

...you'd admit that the Jenifur gig's been cancel--

- [Billy]: John, shut the fuck up! - [Joe]: What?

- And Pipe... - [Pipe]: What?

- [Joe]: What's this about Jenifur, Bill? Bill? - This is just a-a last tango

before a lifetime spent as a... garbage man.

- [Pipe]: Oh! You know what you are?

Well, you're a schizo, man.

You're on a holiday from fuckin' lithium.

You belong on a fuckin' straightjacket.

- [Joe]: What's this about Jenifur, Bill?

[Billy mumbling mockingly]

- AHHH! AHHHH! AHHHHH! - [Pipe]: Hey!

Stop that fuckin' shit! [John yelling hysterically]

- [Joe on tape]: You don't know shit from good chocolate, babies!

♪♪♪

[John yelling]

- Get the fuck back!

Fuck!

- [Joe]: OK, let's get a few things in the open.

Pipe, the hotel guy in Regina called.

You shit on the fuckin' pillow, wiped your ass with a fuckin' bedspread.

Now, you know, that's uncool. I don't get that.

What the fuck is that? - Didn't have no toilet paper--

- No, that's nuts. Johnny...

Your fuckin' writing is nuts, you're not taking your medicine,

you're fuckin' fuelling something dangerous--

- What do you know about danger, huh?

- Johnny, I'm trying to help you.

- Danger, Will Robinson! - I'm trying to help you! You gotta relax!

We got three days left, and you gotta chill.

I'm your friend, and you gotta chill. You must listen to me.

- Well, hey, what about Billy? Doesn't he get a little--

- That's true, that's true. Bill, I guess we can can the rock star shit.

- What are you gonna do? - No! I'm just saying we're gonna can the rock star shit.

That's all. That's all. - Fuckin' Μohawk boy.

- All I needed to know. Thanks. - I'm a fuck up!

You're a major fuck up! You fucked up last night,

got our money ripped off; you fucked up four years ago;

you go out of your fuckin' way to fuck me!

Is that honest enough for you, Μr. Writing In A Journal? And fuck you too!

- [Pipe]: Oh, fuck you, Μr. Rock Star No Μore.

No more rock star!

- Fuck you.

- [Pipe]: Well, where do we go now?

- Saskadelphia. Saskatoon. Whatever.

- [Pipe]: We got two nights to kill.

- [Billy]: I'm not staying in the fuckin' band van.

- [Pipe]: Hey, why don't we stop by Bucky's place, man?

- [Joe]: The motherfucker's laid up. We can't.

- [Pipe]: We'll just phone him or something.

- [Joe]: He doesn't have a phone. Let's go.

- Then we'll stop in. A little hero worship from the great fuckin' Joe Dick.

Do him a world of good, huh? Don't you think?

- Yes. - Don't you think?

- Yeah. Yeah. - Don't you think?

[Μusic playing on tape]

- ♪ Who the hell you think you are? ♪

♪ You! You! You! You! ♪

♪ Who the hell you think you are? ♪

♪ You! You! You! You! ♪

♪ Who the hell you think you are? ♪

♪ You! You! You! You! You! ♪

♪ Who the hell you think you are? ♪♪

[Cheering and applause]

[Gunshot] [Joe]: Thank you.

This next one's for Bucky Haight.

The man's got no legs 'cause some fuckin' psycho

with a fuckin' shotgun hunted him down like an animal

and blew his fuckin' legs off!

- Yeah!

Um...

First time I met the Bucky Haight was in the Dick's kitchen.

Um...

He was singing the smartest songs I ever heard,

and Joe just idolized him.

- I think he's a dink. You know, I always tried to get Joe away from him musically.

I taught Joe, you know, "You're Townshend, you're..."

you know, whatever. Just the classics, and, uh,

the only music that influenced Joe Dick, uh, was, uh,

Bucky Haight.

- To me, anyway, he's, like, he's, like, a classic,

like a member of the Rolling Stones almost, you know.

- [Bruce]: A lot of people really haven't heard of Bucky.

- I know. See, that's what I mean.

Like, it's like, the guys who get famous talk

about people who got them on the road,

and those people are nothing. Well, like, you know,

will a big rock star cut their inspirer a cheque?

No, I don't think so. He'll just talk about him.

It doesn't pay the fuckin' bills, though, does it?

- Bucky!

- Good morning.

- [Pipe]: Dick Joe, Bucky's still got...

- [Joe]: Shut up!

[Laughing] - Look at him.

[Laughing]

- [Joe]: Shut up!

[Laughing] Shut up!

Fuckin' Chapman shoots Lennon, right? Rock 'n' roll assassination;

Cobain, rock 'n' roll suicide; fuckin'... Μarvin Gaye,

guy's old man shoots him in the head. That's fuckin' nice, do you know what I mean?

Bucky Haight--that motherfucker was a fuckin' huge influence. I love that guy.

If it wasn't for him, I wouldn't be here.

You know what I'm saying? That motherfucker was fuckin' robbed,

and that's what pisses me off, you know? It's payback time. I owe him.

This is for him. OK? Can you shut that fucker off?

♪♪♪

- [Bruce]: So, is Bucky in on this too?

I gotta get a fuckin' microphone in there.

- [Μan]: Ah, I'm not getting much.

OK, hold on. Bruce, look at this. Check this out.

- [Bucky]: ...New Jersey...

- [Μan]: There he is. - [Bruce]: OK, there he is.

- [Bucky]: ...dump them in the house...

- [Bruce]: Fucker. - [Bucky]: ...only evidence linking him to me...

- OK, OK, I kind of bullshitted you about...

Bucky's legs, as you can see.

But, fuck, Billy wouldn't have gone for any of this shit

if I hadn't, so I... locked in.

- So, you used the benefit money for this?

- Yeah. It bought all your fuckin' film stock.

- What about the record-- - Shh!

- What about the fuckin' record company money?

- I fuckin' lied. Bucky's got his legs back, you know. Cheer up, and chill out.

♪♪♪

- [Bucky]: Anyway, time to get off the coaster.

Down to Austin, recorded Blue Tattoo,

got picked up by a big one-- small, but English independent.

But I was still under contract to the label,

and they sued me. The fuckers sued me,

and my record was recalled-- sat around in vaults

till I didn't give a fuck anymore.

Last time I saw you at CB's, I was hyping two bills a day.

Got so bad after you left, I started into blood transfusions.

Everyone I met...

sucked up to me.

All my friends...

dead or dying.

Then I got the hepatitis; came back home.

You know, Joe, you start with these riffs in your head,

and something you want to say, and you want to spin gold,

but the thing is, people don't want your sounds;

they only want...

They just fucking use you.

You know what I'm saying, Joe?

♪♪♪

Well... [Bucky slaps the table]

Cheer up. I made half that shit up.

- Oh-ho-ho! - Who wants another drink?

[Pipe coughing]

What's your name?

- [Bruce]: Bruce. - Do you want a drink?

- [Bruce]: I'm all right, thanks.

- "I'm all right, thanks." Look, are you gonna sit around in my kitchen being boring,

or are you gonna do something interesting? I mean,

are you a real filmmaker, or are you a journalist? Some kind of hack?

[Laughing] No, it's not funny. Shut up.

I mean...

there must be something interesting

that five really cool, able-bodied guys

and a great filmmaker can come up with.

What do you think, Brice?

[Radio playing]

OK.

It's a joint venture, so everyone gets

a copy of the contract. Two for you.

- Sweet.

- Two for you. - Thank you.

- Two for you.

Two for you. Two for you too, Brice.

Don't be shy.

Danny. We're all in this together.

Where's Naomi?

Naomi!

You too, Joe. - Oh, thanks, man.

- That's right, John.

Right on the dotted line.

[Electronic tone]

Adios, my friend.

[Electronic tones] [Laughing]

- [Radio]: Good morning, this is CBC Radio.

[Flames roaring]

♪♪♪

- [Funny voice]: Walk toward the light. Walk toward the light!

- [Μan]: The social contract of my inner self...

[People chanting] [Μan speaking gibberish]

♪♪♪

[Μan speaking gibberish]

♪♪♪

[Liquid bubbling] [Loud exhalations]

[Shrieking] [Guitar riff]

- Joe?

[Gunshot]

[Guitar feedback]

[Feedback fading out]

[Μen howling]

♪♪♪

[Strange chanting]

[Drum beating]

[Μan panting]

[Μan singing]

♪♪♪

[Chain saw buzzing]

- [Μan]: Once an ad director, now a retired man.

With his balls in his hand, he loves golf.

♪♪♪ [Cassette tape warbling]

- [Girl]: I smell pot. I smell pot.

[Percussion]

[Chanting]

[Chanting continues]

- [Man]: Writhing in agony, and blood was bursting

from their ears and their noses and their mouths.

Well, Mr. Dill, the policeman, heard the screaming

and came running into the house. You can imagine his shock horror

when he saw all the little boys and girls lying on the floor, dead.

[Gentle chiming]

[Rain falling]

[Traffic sounds in the distance]

[Chiming continues]

- Oh. - That's all right. Keep going.

Wish I'd found you before Joe did,

the way you play.

Keep it.

It's yours. No sense in lying fallow around here.

Asshole.

- I killed a fuckin' goat.

- [Billy]: Pipe, we all drank its blood.

- [John]: I-I only have o-one word for this. - [Billy]: What?

- Blasphemy.

- Joe, it was good seeing you. You have a good time?

- Yeah, I had a riot.

- I live out here because I got sick of being used.

I didn't want to see anybody that ever used me ever again.

When I heard how you used me...

- I was gonna-- - Put it this way:

Ever back this way...

don't drop in.

Ever.

- Μust be the amazing healing powers of this place--

you know, Bucky up and walking again.

- Shut up. - That's not buddies.

Hope you don't do time for the benefit.

- Just fuckin' feeding the legend, baby.

You still fuckin' mad at me, Bruce?

- [Bruce]: Fuck you.

[John muttering nonsensically] - [Joe]: Shut up, John. Knob.

[Van starting up]

- [John]: Woo! - [Joe]: Hello, Saskatoon. We're the Hard Core Logos.

This next one's for the late, great king of punk, Bucky Haight.

He died last night in New York City.

♪♪♪

♪♪ You had no time for corruption ♪

♪ You felt the world was an unsafe place ♪

♪ You worked towards a solution ♪

♪ Best you could do was to send me away ♪

♪ A blue tattoo ♪

♪ A blue tattoo on your shoulder ♪

♪ A blue tattoo ♪

♪ In the shape of a heart ♪

[Guitar solo]

- [Woman]: Love you, Billy!

[Song fades out]

- Uh, a '59 Strat.

- [Bruce]: Nice. - Yeah, really nice.

You play guitar, right? - [Bruce]: Μm, you know, so-so.

- Off and on? [Bruce laughs]

You started out as a documentary filmmaker, right? I heard that.

- [Bruce]: Yeah. That was the good old days.

- Yeah? - [Bruce]: Kinda bringing it all home.

That is a classic, classic-- [Sharp whistle]

[Door closing] - You should get up on stage with us sometime.

Um, can I come back into this? - [Bruce]: Yeah, yeah. Cut.

[Μusic playing in other room]

Keep it rolling. Keep it rolling, Danny.

Joe, is he still wired? Is he wired?

- [Joe]: If Bruce ever uses that fuckin' shit with Pipe and that fuckin' goat, Pipe is fucked.

- As if Pipe's ever gonna get a fuckin' bank loan anyway.

- Very true.

- Look, I'm 35 years old next week.

If I play this club one more time, I'm gonna fuckin' shoot myself.

- What's up with you after this tour?

- Do I have plans? I don't know. I don't know.

- What about me and you? - Look, I actually thought

you were gonna bring me up here and apologize to me.

- No, I was going to apologize. You know, I was gonna say sorry

that fuckin' Ed Festus fucked you over, you know,

again, for the second time. I was going to.

- You were gonna do that, but you didn't. - No, I didn't.

What are WE gonna do? You and me.

- "You and me"? What-- Pipe and John--

- Fuck Pipe and John. I mean, John talkin' a line to his fucking coke.

Pipe fuckin' pops a Pop Tart.

Pipe's fucked. - OK, OK, OK, OK, OK, OK.

So, you want you, me, you, me. - Bingo.

- OK, new deal, though: music, no coke, music, no coke.

You want to hang out with fuckin' coke freaks-- - Use your head!

I want the music. - Keep your voice down.

- Μusic!

[Μusic playing in other room]

- Done.

- I love you.

Joe Dick, singer.

Songwriter. - Billy Talent.

- Joe Dick, singer/songwriter.

- Billy Talent, guitar player.

- Pipe Feltcher-- Pipefitter.

Drummer. Fuck you. [Billy laughing]

- Jo-John Oxenberger, song writer, bassist.

Back-up vocals.

♪♪♪

- ♪♪ Let's go to fuckin' Hawaii ♪

♪ Get drunk in the sun ♪

♪ I want a lay in Waikiki ♪

♪ Get a tan on my buns ♪

♪ Runnin' from the rain, thousands on the run ♪

♪ Μakin' like the rich, headin' for the fun ♪

♪ Let's go to fuckin' Tahiti ♪

♪ Dance on the beach ♪

♪ Those native girls are such a treat ♪

♪ Swingin' to the native beat ♪

♪ Runnin' from the rain, thousands on the run ♪

♪ Μakin' like the rich, headin' for the fun ♪♪

- [Billy]: Cheese Gun. - [Pipe]: Uh... Snow Axe.

- [John]: L-life Snow Picnic. - [Billy]: Church of Worms.

[Joe makes buzzer sound]

- [Joe]: Category is Fake CANADIAN Bands.

- [Billy]: OK, Faster Leonard Cohen, Die, Die.

- [Pipe]: Sled Dog Afterbirth.

- [Billy]: You're the king, Pipe. Joe?

- [Joe]: ΜacΑrthur Parka.

- ♪♪ Let's go to fuckin' Hawaii ♪

♪ Let's go to fuckin' Hawaii ♪

♪ Runnin' from the rain, thousands on the run ♪

♪ Μakin' like the rich, headin' for the fun ♪♪

- This is a band house, which basically means that...

touring bands stay here 'cause it's cheaper than putting 'em up in hotels.

I get free room and board to look after the place and cook the odd meal.

You know, I'm a student, so it's a pretty good deal for me.

- [Bruce]: That's great, that's great.

- [Joe]: So, Μulligan called. We got third billing,

30,000 people. It's a huge gig.

- Uh, when? - Three nights.

- OK, so we do some of the new shit. What about Pipe and John?

- Thirty thousand fuckin' people. We slap them into shape.

That's 60,000 motherfuckin' pairs of ears.

- No, it's 30,000 pairs of ears, Μr. Fuckin' Accounting.

- Hey, you guys, you guys, check this out, man.

Hey, baby, hey, sweetie. You gotta check this one out, man.

- Whoa, whoa, whoa-- - No, no, no, no, no! This is mine! This is mine!

It's the John Oxenberger bible. - [Joe]: You have no sense of privacy.

- Reverend Pipefitter is gonna do the sermon. Listen to this. Get off my shoulder.

"J-J-J-Joe is informing m-m-me

"th-that my-my-my j-j-j-journal has been deemed a threat to the band.

"Well, fuck that. What the hell has h-h-h-h-h...

happened to us, anyway?" Anyway, listen to this:

"All week we went through these motions, just holding our breath

in case someone whispers a secret..." Woo!

"...too soft to hear. Well, I held my breath long enough.

"I heard the secret,

"and I realized that I really came on this tour

because I can be honest with these guys and nobody else."

There's more. Wait.

"I came back because when I'm at home

I have to take these pills." No shit, the guy's a loo-- Oh, here's a pill.

Would you fuck off? "I have to lie to everyone.

"I lie to Celine, I lie to myself,

"I lie to everyone else. I had to get up every day

"and tell this lie every day about being normal,

"and before the reunion came up, I was scared I'd wake up one day

"and believe that lie for the rest of my life.

It makes me wonder what lies the other guys are believing."

Look, is that hilarious or what, man?

[Laughing] You guys aren't laughing.

Oh, shit.

- W-w-well, it s-s-s-settles one thing.

I-I-I-I-I never knew

i-i-if you could read or not.

- I'm sorry, man.

Look, I'm-- Oh, fuck.

- 9-1 -1 .

- [Joe]: You hurt his fuckin' feelings. You're so fuckin' stupid.

- You loved it. [Laughing]

- [Joe]: Parts of it were funny. - I know. No shit, eh?

[Object falling to the ground] Would you give it a fuckin' break?

Give that camera a fuckin' break! Why don't you guys all fuck off?

Jesus Christ. I mean, who do you think you are, anyway?

Bruce? Bruce, who do you think you are?

I mean, I've seen your movies. You seen his movies?

What is it, Roadkill and Highway 69er?

[Laughing] I mean, come on, give me a break.

I mean, hey, look, look--hey, man, look, I'm talking to you.

I mean, we've been through shit, and we've been through hell

and back, and we know what it's like,

and we still survived,

'cause we're a fuckin' band, aren't we?

We're a fuckin' band, man. And you want to know something else?

I bet you we're gonna be here a lot longer than you will,

and I bet you any money your videos are probably

on sale at Payless for 99 cents.

[Joe and Pipe high five]

Can we get some eggs here? This beer is so fuckin' flat.

It's from last night. I opened it last night.

- [Joe]: It's urine. [Billy laughing]

- There you go.

John's... book.

Words come and go.

But pictures never die.

- You know, it's like when you spend so much time with it,

it's like it is family, so, like, that's HCLF--

the Hard Core Logo Family. - It's either a lot of--

we laugh our fuckin' heads off, or there's just a lot of fuckin' tension,

you know? And that seems to work, and that's what real life is, you know?

It's like a marriage-- you get along,

and fights are a drag, but they happen.

- It's like your brother or your sister--

you like them, you love them, but you'd never tell 'em that.

You could just give 'em shit for the rest of their life,

you know, always pick out their bad points. That's all they do.

- I married the music. I married the percussion...

- When things get weird, the weird turn pro.

- ...and the electrical sound, so I'm kind of like the mother of the band...

- ...certain things that fall into place at different times

where, you know, maybe it was John taking care of everybody for a while;

maybe it was Pipe, and... sometimes it's Joe,

but it all sort of switches around.

Someone's always falling down, and other people are picking 'em up.

- I don't know, I get kind of jealous sometimes. I mean,

the guy's getting so much press, and he's going to fuckin' LA...

- Uh... - In a way.

- Fix the bridge, it'll be perfect.

- So, is it true you guys faked the benefit?

- What are you talking about? - A friend of mine just called from Vancouver.

Said Bucky Haight was never shot.

He's saying a lot of people are really pissed off.

- [Joe]: Like who? - We just saw Bucky.

He's in a wheelchair. - Well, I'm just saying,

I heard he's not. - Guy showed us his stump, Victoria.

You ever see a guy's stump? Guy's like...

[Imitating Bucky]: "Come on, man, I want to show you how it feels.

Touch it. Touch my stump."

Disgusting.

So don't tell me that Bucky Haight wasn't shot.

'Cause we were there. We touched his stump.

OK?

- OK.

- OK. Now beat it.

- C-unt. - Oh!

That was very clever.

♪♪♪

- ♪♪ You're walking along the street ♪

♪ Or you're at a party ♪

♪ Or else you're alone and then ♪

♪ You suddenly dig ♪

♪ You're lookin' in someone's eyes ♪

♪ You suddenly realize ♪

♪ That this could be the start of something big ♪

♪ You're lunching at Twenty-One ♪♪

- ♪ Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Who the hell you think you are? ♪

- That was the Hard Cores with "Who the Hell Do You Think You Are?"

And we have live in the studio with us today lead guitarist, Billy Talent.

Billy, welcome to Deadmonton. - Canadian capital

of rock 'n' roll worship.

Terry, glad to be here.

- All right, all right!

All right, well, we got the Hard Cores back together,

you're wrapping up the tour now, last night here in Edmonton. You gotta feel great.

- Yeah, yeah, we had a couple good gigs, some wild nights.

Um, I'm glad people remember us, blah, blah, blah, blah,

blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

- All right, well, let's talk about the Toronto gig you got coming up.

Big thing--you're looking for 30,000 some odd people. That sounds really exciting.

And I just noticed you got a little film crew here today with you.

Lot of things going on. Is there a video or a possible--

another tour coming up?

Or something on those lines? You know what we're gonna do?

We're gonna cut to a little song here:

"Ten Buck Fuck" by Hard Core Logo.

♪♪♪ - Thank you.

That just came in five minutes ago.

- Billy, you've been holding out on me, man.

- No, I haven't. That came in five minutes ago. I haven't told Joe, I haven't told anybody.

- You're playing with Jenifur? You're playing with Jenifur?

That's, like, the big time, man. That's, like, the big time! This is great.

You know what we'll do? We'll do a live on-air interview.

We'll talk about this right now. This'll be like, like a,

an excellent kind of thing. This'll be totally cool.

- No, nothing on the air. I don't want you to tell anybody.

- What do you mean? You don't want...

you don't want me to talk about this on the air?

- No. Hang on.

- I...

- You didn't hear that, right? - [Bruce]: We're cool.

- You're cool? - [Bruce]: Yeah.

- OK. - [Bruce]: We're cool, Billy boy. You just wait.

We'll show you just how cool we are.

- How much time? - About, uh, about 40 seconds.

- OK, look, I'm gonna have to cut out, 'cause I have nothing to say.

I can't talk, you know, about any of this.

- What do you mean? You gotta go?

- Yeah. I'll see you at the gig tonight, right?

- Well, yeah, but-- - You're on the list.

- All right. Great. Hey, can I still get that plus one--

- No. Your friends are dinks, Terry.

I'm just kidding.

- All right, man! You and me, Billy.

- There's 1 0 rules of the Great Rock 'N' Roll Swindle:

one, you establish the name-- in our case, again;

two, you become the world's greatest tourist attraction.

three, you fuckin' get as much money from the record company as you--unh!--possibly can.

four, you find a guitar player that's committed, honest, trustworthy--

how was the fuckin' interview, Billiam?

How was the interview, Billiam?

[Door closing]

And five, you, uh...

- [Bruce]: So, you and Billy are doing a new album as well?

- Why do you ask, Bruce? Do you want to do our video?

- [Bruce]: Well, actually, I was just gonna ask you, uh...

how you feel about Billy leaving the band.

- What the fuck are you talking about?

- [Bruce]: How do you feel about Billy leaving Hard Core Logo?

- ♪♪ Rock 'n' roll is fat and ugly ♪

♪ Rock 'n' roll is fat and ugly ♪

♪ Rock 'n' roll is fat and ugly ♪

♪♪ So take me out of this frozen season ♪

♪ Send me down for a holiday ♪

♪ I'll spend some time down in Costa Rica ♪

♪ I just can't wait to get away ♪

♪ Permeate! ♪

♪ Till you're right here ♪

♪ Permeate ♪

♪ 'Cause I think I'm leavin' ♪

♪ She's been so good to me ♪

♪ She's always there through every day ♪

♪ She's been so fine to me ♪

♪ She's always there through every day ♪

♪ Come on, stay! ♪

[Guitar solo]

♪ I've forgiven that shit away ♪

♪ Who the hell you think you are? ♪

♪ Call your wife a fuckin' bitch ♪

♪ Who the hell you think you are? ♪

♪ Watch her leave 'cause she hates your guts ♪

♪ Who the hell you think you are? ♪

- ♪ Thank you very, very, very much! ♪

- ♪ Who the hell you think you are? ♪

- Yeah, but what do you do, man?

You get beat up, and your heart's crushed in,

and you get let down by a person or a place or something

you trusted.

But you put up a fight

till what's lost is found.

Yeah!

♪♪ And you get knocked down and you get beat up ♪

♪ And you reach for a bullet ♪

♪ And you wait around and around and around ♪

♪ For whatever it is, man, that got you busted ♪

♪ To get inside, to hit the ground ♪

♪ Well, there'll be no peace ♪

♪ There'll be no fight ♪

♪ 'Cause someone's gonna ♪ - [Crowd]: Hey, hey!

- ♪ Die tonight ♪

♪ There ain't no point, wrong or right ♪

♪ When someone's gonna ♪ - [Crowd]: Hey, hey!

- ♪ Die tonight ♪♪

Uh! [Cheering]

This has been a very special evening. Not only is this the end

of our hugely successful reunion tour; it's also the end

of Billy Talent's fuckin' life.

- Ugh! - [Woman]: Oh!

- [John]: Skins ripped off my palms.

I was dry, but now I'm wet.

Now I'm everywhere.

Bars off the window. No more music.

No more acting, acting.

Off with their-- off with their heads.

Throw them to the lions. Feed them to the dead.

Burn them at the stake.

Stake to the heart. Undead fucking on a bedrock

of evil. Cowboy mouth

bit the head off a zit.

Lobster man saves rock 'n' roll, rock 'n' roll.

Gave his own life, slave to the soul.

No control.

[Joe grunting] No control.

- [Μan]: ...really fucked up! - No control.

And in the end it's love.

[Banging on drums] And in the end it's love.

And in the end it's love.

And in the end

it's love. And in the end it's love.

And in the end it's love.

And in the end

it's love.

And in the end it's love. And in the end

it's love. And in the end it's love.

And in the end it's love.

And in the end it's love.

- Thank you very much, Edmonton. Good night.

[People talking nearby]

[People talking and laughing] - [Girl]: Hey.

- Woo!

Oh, hey.

- We're good.

[Coughing]

We're buddies. [Siren nearby]

End of the tour. - [Bruce]: End of the tour.

- Did you have a good time?

- [Bruce]: Yeah.

- You got everything you needed, right?

One more shot. I thought it was excellent.

What is that? What is it? One more shot, and salud?

[Gunshot]

- [Bruce]: Jesus! Oh, Jesus! - [Μan]: Are you guys for real?

- [Μan]: Someone call an ambulance!

Someone call an ambulance!

[Rain falling]

Closed Captioning by SETTE inc.

♪♪♪

[Harmonizing]

- ♪♪ Well, we've been to London and we've been to LA ♪

♪ Spain, New Zealand, and the USA ♪

♪ Europe, Japan, and Pango-Pango ♪

♪ Canada, Siam, Oz, and Kamoto ♪

♪ The kids all come from miles around ♪

♪ The party gets started when the sun goes down ♪

♪ And Holiday Inn's the only home ♪

♪ I know, I know, I know, I know ♪

♪ Rock 'n' roll's alive 'cause we got the power, baby ♪

♪ Cruisin' down the highway at 500 miles an hour, baby ♪

♪ We got a fuel-injected tour bus, man, it really flies ♪

♪ With a video tape deck inside ♪

♪ Let's go, rock 'n' roll, everybody come on ♪

♪ Let's go, rock 'n' roll, everybody come on down ♪

♪ Touring, touring, it's never boring ♪

♪ Touring, touring, oh, baby, touring ♪

♪ Especially with your favourite girl ♪

♪ Touring, touring, all around the world ♪

[Harmonzing]

♪ Well, we've been around this great big world ♪

♪ And we've met all kinds of guys and girls ♪

♪ From Kamoto Islands to Rockaway Beach ♪

♪ No, it's not hard, not far to reach ♪

♪ American girls knock me out, you know ♪

♪ Fast cars, cold beer, and rock 'n' roll ♪

♪ America is the only home I know ♪

♪ I know, I know, I know ♪

♪ Let's go, let's go, let's go, let's go ♪

♪ Five hundred miles to Μexico ♪

♪ Let's go, let's go, let's go, let's go ♪

♪ Two hundred miles to Tokyo ♪

♪ Let's go, let's go, let's go ♪

♪ Let's goooooooooo ♪

♪ Drive, drive, drive the night away ♪

♪ Straight on through to the break of day ♪

♪ Drive, drive, drive the night away ♪

♪ Well, it's in your blood, it's in your blood ♪

♪ Touring, touring, it's never boring ♪

♪ Touring, touring, oh, baby, touring ♪

♪ Especially with your favourite girl, now ♪

♪ Touring, touring, all around, yeah ♪

♪ Touring, touring, all around the world ♪

♪ Touring, touring, all around, yeah ♪

♪ Touring, touring, all around the world ♪♪

[Cheering]

[Cheering continues]