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The following program
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is brought to you
in living color on NBC.
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Oh, no, you don't!
4
00:00:35,902 --> 00:00:37,267
You little...
5
00:00:37,404 --> 00:00:39,099
You come here,
you little lumber thief!
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00:00:39,239 --> 00:00:40,365
You come back here...
7
00:00:59,692 --> 00:01:01,887
No, Hoss, no, no!
8
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Baxter.
9
00:01:04,030 --> 00:01:05,395
I didn't even recognize you.
10
00:01:05,532 --> 00:01:08,228
All I saw was somebody
beating up on Little Jock.
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00:01:08,368 --> 00:01:09,630
You sure pack
a mean punch, Hoss.
12
00:01:09,769 --> 00:01:11,430
What was you doing
picking on that little feller?
13
00:01:11,571 --> 00:01:13,505
Know what that little varmint's
up to?
14
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Ain't no telling.
15
00:01:14,641 --> 00:01:15,608
What's he done now?
16
00:01:15,742 --> 00:01:17,471
He's stealing Ponderosa lumber.
17
00:01:17,610 --> 00:01:21,205
Not the felled trees, mind you...
the cut lumber.
18
00:01:23,550 --> 00:01:24,608
Oh, no, you don't!
19
00:01:24,751 --> 00:01:25,718
Come here!
20
00:01:25,852 --> 00:01:26,944
Get over here and fess up.
21
00:01:27,087 --> 00:01:28,179
I was only taking me enough
22
00:01:28,321 --> 00:01:29,948
to build me a little bit
of a corral.
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I don't, I don't reckon
you could really blame a man
24
00:01:33,560 --> 00:01:36,120
for trying to fix his place up,
could you?
25
00:01:36,262 --> 00:01:38,822
Wait till your pa hears
what Jock's done.
26
00:01:38,965 --> 00:01:40,557
We'll see whether
he gets the blame or not.
27
00:01:40,700 --> 00:01:43,328
I was gonna pay him back just
as soon as I got me some money.
28
00:01:43,470 --> 00:01:44,334
Honest, Hoss.
29
00:01:44,471 --> 00:01:46,996
I'll tell you what, Baxter.
30
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I'll take full responsibility
for-for all this.
31
00:01:52,545 --> 00:01:55,173
If that's the way
you want it, Hoss.
32
00:01:55,315 --> 00:01:58,409
Me, I'm just a hired hand.
33
00:02:00,120 --> 00:02:04,056
Baxter, you-you keep this
under your hat, you hear?
34
00:02:06,226 --> 00:02:10,162
Hoss, I sure can't tell you
how much I appreciate this.
35
00:02:10,296 --> 00:02:13,163
Ah, it's all right, Jock.
36
00:02:13,299 --> 00:02:15,597
Glad to see you're sort of
fixing the old place up.
37
00:02:15,735 --> 00:02:18,397
Oh, yeah,
I-I work at it all the time.
38
00:02:23,476 --> 00:02:27,469
Hoss, how was it you told me
these postholes ought to be dug?
39
00:02:41,661 --> 00:02:44,789
Hoss, you sure dig pretty.
40
00:03:35,114 --> 00:03:37,776
Hey, Jock, you that tired?
41
00:03:40,853 --> 00:03:42,787
Yes, sir, I'll tell you, Jock,
42
00:03:42,922 --> 00:03:46,619
keep this up and you're gonna
have a, have a real nice place.
43
00:03:46,759 --> 00:03:48,488
I'm doing it
all on Sally's account.
44
00:03:48,628 --> 00:03:50,186
Yeah. How is Sally?
45
00:03:50,330 --> 00:03:52,093
Oh, the heat bothers her.
46
00:03:52,232 --> 00:03:53,927
You know how they are
when they get this way.
47
00:03:54,067 --> 00:03:55,591
Yeah. W-When's her time?
48
00:03:55,735 --> 00:03:57,066
Mm, close as I can reckon,
49
00:03:57,203 --> 00:03:58,898
about, uh, three weeks
come Tuesday.
50
00:04:01,674 --> 00:04:03,198
Here she comes now.
51
00:04:18,424 --> 00:04:20,756
Ain't she
the sweetest thing ever?
52
00:04:20,893 --> 00:04:23,327
I can't hardly wait to see
that little colt of hers.
53
00:04:23,463 --> 00:04:26,364
Yeah, from her looks, he ain't
gonna be long coming neither.
54
00:04:26,499 --> 00:04:27,830
Better get that corral fixed.
55
00:04:27,967 --> 00:04:29,195
Where's them posts?
56
00:04:29,335 --> 00:04:30,734
In the barn.
57
00:04:30,870 --> 00:04:33,202
With them
awful heavy boards, Hoss.
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00:04:36,776 --> 00:04:38,801
Yes, sir, this time next year,
59
00:04:38,945 --> 00:04:42,278
I'll be racing Sally,
training her little colt.
60
00:04:42,415 --> 00:04:44,542
Ought to make myself
a regular fortune.
61
00:04:44,684 --> 00:04:46,345
Yeah, it's a long time
till next year, Little Jock.
62
00:04:46,486 --> 00:04:47,976
What are you gonna be doing
in the meantime?
63
00:04:48,121 --> 00:04:49,452
Oh, odd jobs here and there.
64
00:04:49,589 --> 00:04:51,580
You know me, Hoss; one thing
I ain't afeared of is work.
65
00:04:51,724 --> 00:04:52,782
You know that, don't you?
66
00:04:52,925 --> 00:04:55,860
Oh, yeah, yeah, Jock,
I know that all right.
67
00:04:55,995 --> 00:04:59,089
Of course, I-I probably could
borrow against my winnings.
68
00:04:59,232 --> 00:05:02,224
Or-Or I might could even
sell a piece of Sally,
69
00:05:02,368 --> 00:05:04,529
if I wanted to do
a friend a favor.
70
00:05:06,572 --> 00:05:08,267
Yeah, uh...
71
00:05:08,408 --> 00:05:10,137
Hey, listen, Jock,
you-you got any paint?
72
00:05:10,276 --> 00:05:11,243
Uh-huh. Yeah.
73
00:05:11,377 --> 00:05:13,140
Yeah, I got some left over
from last year,
74
00:05:13,279 --> 00:05:15,144
when I was gonna
touch up the house.
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00:05:15,281 --> 00:05:16,270
Of course, I-I got so busy,
76
00:05:16,416 --> 00:05:17,781
I never did get around
to it, though.
77
00:05:17,917 --> 00:05:19,885
Yeah, well, listen, I-I think
you ought to put a little paint
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00:05:20,019 --> 00:05:22,283
over this fresh lumber before
Pa gets a close look at it.
79
00:05:22,422 --> 00:05:24,413
Yeah, yeah.
80
00:05:27,126 --> 00:05:29,253
Hey, there's Hoss's hat.
81
00:05:37,437 --> 00:05:39,371
Hoss!
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00:05:39,505 --> 00:05:40,995
Morning, Mr. Cartwright.
83
00:05:41,140 --> 00:05:43,404
Good morning.
84
00:05:45,912 --> 00:05:48,005
I can't let him
get close to this lumber.
85
00:05:48,147 --> 00:05:49,808
Coming, Pa.
86
00:05:56,255 --> 00:05:57,984
So this is where
you've been all day.
87
00:05:58,124 --> 00:06:00,649
Mr. Hoss, I fix good dinner.
88
00:06:00,793 --> 00:06:01,725
All get cold.
89
00:06:01,861 --> 00:06:03,192
Look every place for you.
90
00:06:03,329 --> 00:06:05,923
Oh, I-I was just here
helping old Jock.
91
00:06:06,065 --> 00:06:07,896
Yeah, so I see.
92
00:06:08,034 --> 00:06:09,501
Poor little feller's
got so much to do,
93
00:06:09,635 --> 00:06:11,296
I don't reckon
he'll ever get it all done.
94
00:06:11,437 --> 00:06:12,563
Yeah.
95
00:06:12,705 --> 00:06:14,297
Well, you're not forgetting
I'm racing Raven
96
00:06:14,440 --> 00:06:15,907
against Gatling in town today,
are you?
97
00:06:16,042 --> 00:06:18,533
Oh, no, no, no, Joe,
I-I ain't forgetting.
98
00:06:18,678 --> 00:06:20,145
I was just trying
to be neighborly.
99
00:06:20,279 --> 00:06:21,678
You-You fellers go on in.
100
00:06:21,814 --> 00:06:23,679
I'll-I'll try to get there.
Best of luck to you, Joe.
101
00:06:23,816 --> 00:06:24,680
Go on. Go.
102
00:06:24,817 --> 00:06:27,411
I'll try to get in, if I can.
103
00:06:46,172 --> 00:06:47,867
Jock.
104
00:06:49,575 --> 00:06:51,907
Oh, Jock.
105
00:06:54,247 --> 00:06:55,680
Howdy, Mrs. Henry.
106
00:06:55,815 --> 00:06:57,783
You sure look spry today.
107
00:06:57,917 --> 00:07:00,681
Oh, nice of you to say so, Hoss.
108
00:07:00,820 --> 00:07:03,516
Jock's taking bets
I come in ahead of Sally.
109
00:07:03,656 --> 00:07:04,680
Are you betting?
110
00:07:04,824 --> 00:07:06,655
No, no, I was just spoofing.
111
00:07:06,793 --> 00:07:10,320
Jock, you were gonna take
six head of cattle into town
112
00:07:10,463 --> 00:07:11,691
and pay the taxes.
113
00:07:11,831 --> 00:07:13,025
I clean forgot.
114
00:07:13,166 --> 00:07:14,292
Jock, you better do that.
115
00:07:14,434 --> 00:07:15,594
You bet I better.
116
00:07:15,735 --> 00:07:17,327
I won't be gone long.
117
00:07:17,470 --> 00:07:18,368
Bye.
118
00:07:18,504 --> 00:07:22,736
Oh, Jock, if they fetch
a good price,
119
00:07:22,875 --> 00:07:24,809
will you buy me something?
120
00:07:24,944 --> 00:07:25,808
Why, sure, honey.
121
00:07:25,945 --> 00:07:28,038
Anything you want.
122
00:07:28,181 --> 00:07:30,240
Just the goods to make me
a new sunbonnet.
123
00:07:33,920 --> 00:07:36,514
Sun's beginning to irk me, too.
124
00:07:38,524 --> 00:07:40,685
You know what I'll do?
125
00:07:40,827 --> 00:07:44,354
I'll buy you one
already made up.
126
00:07:44,497 --> 00:07:48,991
Oh... Jock,
that-that's real sweet of you.
127
00:07:57,109 --> 00:07:58,940
Maybe she'll give me
three sons someday,
128
00:07:59,078 --> 00:08:02,775
like-like you and Adam
and Little Joe.
129
00:08:02,915 --> 00:08:05,577
Well, guess I better
rustle my livestock.
130
00:08:05,718 --> 00:08:08,710
Maybe I can get to town and
watch Little Joe win that race.
131
00:08:19,432 --> 00:08:20,831
Wrong horse in lead.
132
00:08:20,967 --> 00:08:22,559
Come on, Raven!
Come on, Raven!
133
00:08:30,042 --> 00:08:33,705
Ben, you ought to know by now
you can't beat Gatling.
134
00:08:33,846 --> 00:08:35,313
What I need's a bigger hat.
135
00:08:36,549 --> 00:08:37,641
We'll beat him yet, Ellery.
136
00:08:37,783 --> 00:08:39,478
Not with Raven you won't.
137
00:08:39,619 --> 00:08:42,782
You know, you may need a bigger
hat, but not for our money.
138
00:08:47,226 --> 00:08:48,921
You'll find my...
139
00:08:49,061 --> 00:08:51,359
your cattle down at
the livery stable, Mister.
140
00:08:51,497 --> 00:08:52,361
Thank you, friend.
141
00:08:52,498 --> 00:08:53,692
Thank you.
142
00:08:53,833 --> 00:08:55,994
I ain't never betting against
that Gatling again
143
00:08:56,135 --> 00:08:58,433
until my Sally's
back in condition.
144
00:08:58,571 --> 00:08:59,435
Your wife?
145
00:08:59,572 --> 00:09:01,563
My mare.
146
00:09:03,943 --> 00:09:06,468
Mister, Mister.
147
00:09:06,612 --> 00:09:09,410
You mind letting me
have two dollar?
148
00:09:09,549 --> 00:09:11,176
You won $120.
149
00:09:11,317 --> 00:09:14,718
Now, what do you want
with two dollars?
150
00:09:14,854 --> 00:09:16,845
To buy her a sunbonnet.
151
00:09:16,989 --> 00:09:18,149
Your mare?
152
00:09:18,291 --> 00:09:20,282
My wife.
153
00:09:36,008 --> 00:09:37,908
It's lovely, Jock.
154
00:09:38,044 --> 00:09:40,444
Thank you.
155
00:09:40,580 --> 00:09:42,514
As soon as Sally's
back in condition
156
00:09:42,648 --> 00:09:45,640
and-and can race again,
I'll buy you nothing but silk.
157
00:09:47,753 --> 00:09:49,846
Oh, I know you will,
Jock, honey.
158
00:09:49,989 --> 00:09:51,980
I know you will.
159
00:10:06,739 --> 00:10:08,934
Sure was a pretty bonnet
you bought your wife, Jock.
160
00:10:09,075 --> 00:10:11,600
Uh-huh.
161
00:10:11,744 --> 00:10:14,076
Hey... what's the matter
with you, anyhow?
162
00:10:14,213 --> 00:10:16,078
Price of them cattle
wasn't no good, or what?
163
00:10:16,215 --> 00:10:18,809
Shh.
164
00:10:18,951 --> 00:10:21,920
I lost them, betting on Raven.
165
00:10:22,054 --> 00:10:23,419
You lost them?!
166
00:10:23,556 --> 00:10:25,148
Jock, that was your tax money.
167
00:10:25,291 --> 00:10:29,421
What am I gonna do with Sally in
her condition and Ellen in hers?
168
00:10:29,562 --> 00:10:31,223
Dad-burn it, Jock,
you're gonna get a job.
169
00:10:31,364 --> 00:10:33,389
You're gonna go to work,
that's what you're gonna do.
170
00:10:33,532 --> 00:10:35,022
Ain't nobody who'd hire me.
171
00:10:35,167 --> 00:10:37,727
Well, we'll just see about that.
172
00:10:37,870 --> 00:10:40,464
Think maybe your pa
would give me a job?
173
00:10:40,606 --> 00:10:43,507
Well, Jock, there's-there's
a lot of good places
174
00:10:43,643 --> 00:10:46,009
in Virginia City to get a job,
and I'll go and help you.
175
00:10:46,145 --> 00:10:49,603
Hoss, I-I just can't lose
my place to the tax collector.
176
00:10:49,749 --> 00:10:52,411
It's all I got to give
my colt and my kid.
177
00:10:54,420 --> 00:10:56,388
Ah, now, look at me standing...
178
00:10:56,522 --> 00:10:59,082
I ought to be ashamed of myself,
interfering with your work.
179
00:10:59,225 --> 00:11:01,216
You go right ahead.
180
00:11:03,996 --> 00:11:06,123
Jock, you're gonna
go in there and put on
181
00:11:06,265 --> 00:11:08,358
your best bib and tucker, and
I'm gonna go home and clean up,
182
00:11:08,501 --> 00:11:09,729
and we're going into town.
You hear that?
183
00:11:09,869 --> 00:11:11,200
Now, come on.
184
00:12:54,607 --> 00:12:55,972
Ouch!
185
00:12:56,108 --> 00:12:57,939
Ooh.
186
00:13:10,456 --> 00:13:12,424
Jock! Jock Henry!
187
00:13:14,460 --> 00:13:15,484
Tell him it isn't me.
188
00:13:15,628 --> 00:13:16,788
Tell him he made a mistake.
189
00:13:16,929 --> 00:13:18,658
Jock, you can't keep on
hiding forever.
190
00:13:18,798 --> 00:13:20,231
That's Dave Hart,
the tax assessor.
191
00:13:20,366 --> 00:13:21,993
He's after my tax money.
192
00:13:22,134 --> 00:13:24,364
Jock, I've been looking
all over for you.
193
00:13:24,503 --> 00:13:26,368
I've been trying to find a job,
honest, Mr. Hart.
194
00:13:26,505 --> 00:13:27,733
It's true, Dave, he has.
195
00:13:27,873 --> 00:13:29,135
Sure enough.
Well, that's what's so funny.
196
00:13:29,275 --> 00:13:31,004
He's looking for a job,
I'm trying to give him one.
197
00:13:31,143 --> 00:13:33,475
I don't see what's so fun...
198
00:13:33,612 --> 00:13:35,807
Give me one?
199
00:13:35,948 --> 00:13:37,347
What kind of a job?
200
00:13:37,483 --> 00:13:39,280
Well, I've got
more than I can handle
201
00:13:39,418 --> 00:13:42,251
with the mines and the business
establishments in town.
202
00:13:42,388 --> 00:13:45,016
I need someone to assess
the settlers' homes and ranches
203
00:13:45,157 --> 00:13:48,490
and make the collections.
204
00:13:48,627 --> 00:13:52,859
Well, uh... what does it pay?
205
00:13:52,998 --> 00:13:55,023
$60 a month for assessing.
206
00:13:55,167 --> 00:13:57,727
First two months
go to pay his back taxes.
207
00:13:57,870 --> 00:13:59,497
But he gets
two percent of his collections
208
00:13:59,638 --> 00:14:00,627
to pocket for himself.
209
00:14:00,773 --> 00:14:02,832
Dave, you got an assistant.
210
00:14:02,975 --> 00:14:05,808
Now, now, wait.
I don't know.
211
00:14:05,945 --> 00:14:08,379
Sally the way she is,
and-and Ellen,
212
00:14:08,514 --> 00:14:11,176
I ain't sure I want to be
away from them.
213
00:14:13,953 --> 00:14:15,944
I guess they do need a provider.
214
00:14:18,891 --> 00:14:21,758
If you really need me,
Mr. Hart...
215
00:14:21,894 --> 00:14:24,055
I'll take the job.
216
00:14:24,196 --> 00:14:26,164
Well, I expect you
to work at this, now, Jock.
217
00:14:26,298 --> 00:14:28,266
Ah, Dave, he'll be
the best dad-burn tax collector
218
00:14:28,400 --> 00:14:29,799
you ever had.
219
00:14:29,935 --> 00:14:31,869
You come with me, and I'll
give you your collector's book
220
00:14:32,004 --> 00:14:34,336
and a list of people
to drop in on.
221
00:14:44,550 --> 00:14:47,075
Hoss, you gonna tell us or not?
222
00:14:47,219 --> 00:14:48,811
Who cut your lip for you?
223
00:14:48,954 --> 00:14:50,888
I done told you,
I run into a broom.
224
00:14:51,023 --> 00:14:54,049
Mm. I just wondered
who threw it.
225
00:14:55,494 --> 00:14:58,861
Oh, and that, uh,
that little scratch
226
00:14:58,998 --> 00:15:00,488
you got there on your cheek.
227
00:15:02,534 --> 00:15:04,502
Cut myself shaving;
that's the truth.
228
00:15:06,238 --> 00:15:09,901
Look, Hoss, if you did
have a fight...
229
00:15:10,042 --> 00:15:13,478
Pa, it wasn't no f... fight.
230
00:15:13,612 --> 00:15:15,842
But if you ask me, there's
one member of this family
231
00:15:15,981 --> 00:15:17,141
looking for a fight right now.
232
00:15:17,283 --> 00:15:19,114
I'm sorry.
233
00:15:19,251 --> 00:15:21,082
I'm just worrying about you,
that's all.
234
00:15:21,220 --> 00:15:24,189
Well, if you must know,
235
00:15:24,323 --> 00:15:27,292
I-I was out job-hunting
for Jock Henry.
236
00:15:27,426 --> 00:15:29,860
Mr. Henry outside.
237
00:15:29,995 --> 00:15:30,859
Jock?
238
00:15:30,996 --> 00:15:32,361
What's he doing here?
239
00:15:32,498 --> 00:15:35,490
Well, ask him to come in,
have something to eat.
240
00:15:37,836 --> 00:15:39,736
You didn't find a job
for him, did you?
241
00:15:39,872 --> 00:15:40,736
I sure did.
242
00:15:40,873 --> 00:15:42,306
And a good one, too.
243
00:15:42,441 --> 00:15:43,965
Good morning, Mr. Henry.
244
00:15:44,109 --> 00:15:46,100
Come in.
I fix you nice breakfast.
245
00:15:46,245 --> 00:15:47,303
Come in.
246
00:15:47,446 --> 00:15:48,470
Thank you, Hop Sing.
247
00:15:48,614 --> 00:15:50,605
Sounds real nice.
248
00:15:52,618 --> 00:15:53,516
Well, morning, Jock.
249
00:15:53,652 --> 00:15:54,949
Morning, all.
Hi, Jock.
250
00:15:55,087 --> 00:15:57,248
Jock, when, uh,
when you gonna start work?
251
00:15:57,389 --> 00:15:58,356
Start?
252
00:15:58,490 --> 00:16:00,321
I been at it
since the crack of dawn.
253
00:16:00,459 --> 00:16:01,824
Now, hush up; I'm adding.
254
00:16:01,961 --> 00:16:02,859
Oh.
255
00:16:02,995 --> 00:16:04,690
He's adding? What's he adding?
256
00:16:04,830 --> 00:16:07,594
I don't know.
257
00:16:07,733 --> 00:16:08,597
Where's he working?
258
00:16:08,734 --> 00:16:10,599
What kind of a job did he get?
259
00:16:13,973 --> 00:16:16,168
He's Dave Hart's assistant.
260
00:16:16,308 --> 00:16:18,208
A tax assessor?
261
00:16:18,344 --> 00:16:20,244
Tax collector, too.
262
00:16:20,379 --> 00:16:22,074
Mr. Cartwright, appears you owe
263
00:16:22,214 --> 00:16:25,843
the Virginia City treasury
$1,647.95.
264
00:16:25,985 --> 00:16:28,613
$1,600?!
265
00:16:28,754 --> 00:16:31,985
And $47.95.
266
00:16:32,124 --> 00:16:36,117
Just one minute there,
Mr. Tax Assessor, Mr. Henry.
267
00:16:36,261 --> 00:16:39,662
Since when do you know anything
about tax assessment?
268
00:16:39,798 --> 00:16:43,495
Last year, I paid only $375!
269
00:16:44,903 --> 00:16:46,700
Things that Dave Hart
must have overlooked.
270
00:16:46,839 --> 00:16:49,000
Thanks to Hoss here, I get
two percent of all I collect,
271
00:16:49,141 --> 00:16:50,005
so I don't overlook nothing.
272
00:16:50,142 --> 00:16:52,042
Care to, uh, pay up now?
273
00:16:52,177 --> 00:16:53,769
Pay now.
274
00:16:53,912 --> 00:16:55,072
Why, I wouldn't pay now!
275
00:16:55,214 --> 00:16:56,272
Pa, Pa!
276
00:16:56,415 --> 00:16:58,042
Pa, Pa, Pa!
277
00:17:00,052 --> 00:17:01,986
Mr. Cartwright,
I-I know how you feel
278
00:17:02,121 --> 00:17:03,884
about me being lazy
and shiftless and all,
279
00:17:04,023 --> 00:17:05,923
but thanks to Hoss here,
I've changed.
280
00:17:06,058 --> 00:17:07,923
And-And that's why
I come here first...
281
00:17:08,060 --> 00:17:09,857
out of gratitude,
Mr. Cartwright...
282
00:17:09,995 --> 00:17:12,293
to show you
just what I think of you.
283
00:17:12,431 --> 00:17:15,491
Gratitude?
284
00:17:15,634 --> 00:17:18,501
Thank you, Hop Sing.
285
00:17:18,637 --> 00:17:21,834
I would like to have
a few words with you.
286
00:17:21,974 --> 00:17:23,965
Yes, sir.
287
00:17:42,661 --> 00:17:46,028
All right, now, let's have at
this problem one at a time.
288
00:17:46,165 --> 00:17:47,894
You, Ellery, speak up.
289
00:17:48,033 --> 00:17:49,864
Why, it's that
no good Jock Henry.
290
00:17:50,002 --> 00:17:53,529
He had the nerve to assess
my livestock at $15,000.
291
00:17:53,672 --> 00:17:56,106
That's the most outrageous thing
I ever heard in my life!
292
00:17:56,241 --> 00:17:58,004
I'm backing my assistant
293
00:17:58,143 --> 00:17:59,576
Jock Henry all the way.
294
00:17:59,711 --> 00:18:01,804
Well, if you feel
that way about it,
295
00:18:01,947 --> 00:18:04,677
I'll take up my complaints
with your assistant personal!
296
00:18:15,127 --> 00:18:16,594
Brooders, huh, Mrs. Hart?
297
00:18:16,728 --> 00:18:19,026
Best in Virginia City, Jock,
if I do say so.
298
00:18:19,164 --> 00:18:20,563
They are, they are.
299
00:18:20,699 --> 00:18:22,428
And, uh, about how many eggs
300
00:18:22,568 --> 00:18:23,899
would you say
they're setting on?
301
00:18:24,036 --> 00:18:25,333
97 exactly.
302
00:18:25,471 --> 00:18:27,462
Ninety... that's just
the count I got.
303
00:18:27,606 --> 00:18:28,971
97 little chicks.
304
00:18:29,108 --> 00:18:31,542
Chicks?
305
00:18:31,677 --> 00:18:33,076
They're only eggs.
306
00:18:33,212 --> 00:18:36,704
Mrs. Hart...
they're little living animals.
307
00:18:36,849 --> 00:18:38,817
They're just as alive
as that other 200
308
00:18:38,951 --> 00:18:40,441
that are already
running around here.
309
00:18:42,488 --> 00:18:44,456
Well, whether you're right
or wrong, Jock, forget it.
310
00:18:44,590 --> 00:18:45,750
Dave always does.
311
00:18:45,891 --> 00:18:48,291
You see, the chicks are mine
for a special fund...
312
00:18:48,427 --> 00:18:50,224
Ah, ah! I don't want
to hear that, Mrs. Hart.
313
00:18:50,362 --> 00:18:52,830
I don't want to hear that my
boss is cheating his taxpayers.
314
00:18:52,965 --> 00:18:56,628
Why, you insignificant,
miserable, little wart!
315
00:18:56,768 --> 00:18:58,929
You dare say a single word
about my Dave,
316
00:18:59,071 --> 00:19:00,561
and I'll cut you to ribbons.
317
00:19:12,618 --> 00:19:14,313
There he is.
318
00:19:14,453 --> 00:19:15,647
There's the little varmint!
319
00:19:15,787 --> 00:19:17,049
Get him, Nancy!
320
00:19:17,189 --> 00:19:18,952
Bet I will!
321
00:19:19,091 --> 00:19:20,490
There he is.
322
00:19:22,761 --> 00:19:26,424
Look at all those old biddies
chasing after Jock.
323
00:19:26,565 --> 00:19:27,964
That's my wife!
324
00:19:28,100 --> 00:19:29,089
Oh...
325
00:19:33,639 --> 00:19:35,664
Get him, get him!
He'll pay for this, girls!
326
00:19:52,691 --> 00:19:54,750
Hey, now,
w-what's all this fuss?
327
00:19:54,893 --> 00:19:56,520
That husband of yours.
328
00:19:56,662 --> 00:19:58,061
Do you know what he's done?
329
00:19:58,197 --> 00:20:01,394
My Jock?
330
00:20:01,533 --> 00:20:03,933
Why, he is the most harmless,
gentle man in...
331
00:20:04,069 --> 00:20:05,661
He is, huh?
332
00:20:05,804 --> 00:20:08,398
Well, who gets the egg money
in your house, you or him?
333
00:20:08,540 --> 00:20:11,873
Well, we haven't any eggs,
Mrs. Hart.
334
00:20:12,010 --> 00:20:14,069
We haven't any chickens.
335
00:20:14,213 --> 00:20:16,078
There's nothing
running around our yard
336
00:20:16,215 --> 00:20:18,206
and won't be
until our baby's born.
337
00:20:20,552 --> 00:20:22,747
Hoss! Hoss!
338
00:20:22,888 --> 00:20:24,753
Hoss!
339
00:20:24,890 --> 00:20:26,585
Ellery, what's this all about?
340
00:20:26,725 --> 00:20:29,990
Why, that no-good Jock Henry...
he's-he's taxing us to death.
341
00:20:30,128 --> 00:20:31,356
That's what it's all about.
342
00:20:31,496 --> 00:20:33,123
You done sicked your womenfolk
on him, huh?
343
00:20:33,265 --> 00:20:34,994
Best favor I can do
your sweet little wife
344
00:20:35,133 --> 00:20:36,828
is to put this noose
right around your neck!
345
00:20:36,969 --> 00:20:38,402
Oh!
346
00:20:38,537 --> 00:20:40,266
Now, I-I'm sorry, ladies.
347
00:20:40,405 --> 00:20:44,535
I... I know my man
is kind of new at his job.
348
00:20:44,676 --> 00:20:45,870
If he's offended you...
349
00:20:46,011 --> 00:20:47,376
I know what I'm doing.
350
00:20:47,512 --> 00:20:49,139
Oh, sure you do.
351
00:20:49,281 --> 00:20:51,579
You're hiding right behind
your wife's skirt,
352
00:20:51,717 --> 00:20:52,581
you little worm!
353
00:20:53,986 --> 00:20:56,318
Now, I thank you
to leave my man alone.
354
00:20:56,455 --> 00:20:59,720
Do you know he's taxing us
for our unborn chicks?
355
00:20:59,858 --> 00:21:02,452
They ain't unborn,
they're just unhatched.
356
00:21:02,594 --> 00:21:03,959
They're as alive as you are.
357
00:21:04,096 --> 00:21:05,563
Well, if they settle this one,
at least we'll know
358
00:21:05,697 --> 00:21:06,823
which came first,
the chicken or the egg.
359
00:21:08,100 --> 00:21:11,695
Ellen, how can you stand by
a man like that?
360
00:21:11,837 --> 00:21:12,895
Look at you.
361
00:21:13,038 --> 00:21:15,199
Look at the clothes
he dresses you in.
362
00:21:17,442 --> 00:21:20,605
Has any of you ladies
a-a prettier sunbonnet
363
00:21:20,746 --> 00:21:22,373
than the one Jock gave me?
364
00:21:23,515 --> 00:21:26,450
And next year,
he promised me a new one.
365
00:21:26,585 --> 00:21:28,780
Real silk, too.
366
00:21:28,920 --> 00:21:31,480
Bought with our taxes, no doubt.
367
00:21:31,623 --> 00:21:34,751
Come on, girls, let's do Ellen
a favor and lynch him!
368
00:21:34,893 --> 00:21:36,622
Oh, no, you won't!
369
00:21:36,762 --> 00:21:38,491
I'll scratch your eyes out!
370
00:21:38,630 --> 00:21:41,121
I'll... I'll...
371
00:21:41,266 --> 00:21:43,791
Oh, now see what you all
went and done?
372
00:21:43,935 --> 00:21:45,027
Easy.
373
00:21:45,170 --> 00:21:46,637
Now, don't get
all riled up inside.
374
00:21:46,772 --> 00:21:48,865
Think of the baby.
Think of the baby.
375
00:21:49,007 --> 00:21:51,532
Now, you got to have sweet
thoughts at a time like this.
376
00:21:51,677 --> 00:21:53,474
He's right.
377
00:21:53,612 --> 00:21:55,773
For once.
378
00:21:55,914 --> 00:21:57,779
We're sorry, Ellen.
379
00:21:57,916 --> 00:21:59,781
We'll have Doc Snow
come out and see you.
380
00:21:59,918 --> 00:22:01,783
I don't want Doc Snow.
381
00:22:01,920 --> 00:22:03,911
I don't want anyone!
382
00:22:04,056 --> 00:22:05,819
Just you leave us alone!
383
00:22:05,957 --> 00:22:08,721
All right, girls.
384
00:22:08,860 --> 00:22:10,691
Come on.
385
00:22:14,099 --> 00:22:17,330
It's all right, Mrs. Henry.
386
00:22:17,469 --> 00:22:19,562
You win.
387
00:22:19,705 --> 00:22:23,573
I'll pay his ding-blasted
egg tax.
388
00:22:58,043 --> 00:22:59,567
Well, Pa?
389
00:22:59,711 --> 00:23:02,077
Well, we're richer
than I thought.
390
00:23:02,214 --> 00:23:04,307
Then-Then Jock didn't
overtax us, huh?
391
00:23:04,449 --> 00:23:05,541
Oh, I didn't say that.
392
00:23:05,684 --> 00:23:07,015
Well, then he did.
393
00:23:07,152 --> 00:23:09,017
Just about double.
394
00:23:09,154 --> 00:23:11,088
He taxed us for
the unborn calves,
395
00:23:11,223 --> 00:23:12,451
the unhatched chickens...
396
00:23:12,591 --> 00:23:15,025
Well, I-I got us into this;
I'll get us out of it.
397
00:23:15,160 --> 00:23:16,855
No, we'll work it out together.
398
00:23:16,995 --> 00:23:18,553
With Dave Hart
backing Jock up all the way,
399
00:23:18,697 --> 00:23:19,857
I don't see
what chance you have.
400
00:23:19,998 --> 00:23:21,829
Well, if anybody can
talk to Jock, I can.
401
00:23:21,967 --> 00:23:23,958
Um, I don't think so.
402
00:23:24,102 --> 00:23:26,502
Not when he's got
the bit in his teeth.
403
00:23:26,638 --> 00:23:29,732
The trouble with Jock is,
he's one of the sorry people.
404
00:23:29,875 --> 00:23:31,172
Sorry people?
405
00:23:31,309 --> 00:23:32,469
What do you mean, Pa?
406
00:23:32,611 --> 00:23:34,806
Well, he's...
407
00:23:34,946 --> 00:23:37,744
shiftless, loves the life
of idleness.
408
00:23:37,883 --> 00:23:39,783
You know,
women like Ellen, they...
409
00:23:39,918 --> 00:23:43,319
they-they feel sorry for them,
want to help them.
410
00:23:43,455 --> 00:23:46,219
Then they fall in love with them
and they marry them.
411
00:23:46,358 --> 00:23:49,088
Then they take on
all their burdens.
412
00:23:49,227 --> 00:23:52,196
You're sure right about Ellen
being in love with him.
413
00:23:52,330 --> 00:23:54,457
Main trouble with
the sorry people is that, uh,
414
00:23:54,599 --> 00:23:57,796
if somebody throws
a little prosperity their way
415
00:23:57,936 --> 00:23:59,563
or a little authority,
th-they're worse than ever.
416
00:23:59,704 --> 00:24:00,671
They become obnoxious.
417
00:24:00,806 --> 00:24:02,068
What are we gonna do?
418
00:24:02,207 --> 00:24:04,038
Well, one thing you can't do...
419
00:24:04,176 --> 00:24:05,939
you can't meet
the sorry people head-on.
420
00:24:06,077 --> 00:24:09,376
If you do, you-you get in deeper
than a steer in a bog hole.
421
00:24:09,514 --> 00:24:12,381
How do you handle them, Pa?
422
00:24:12,517 --> 00:24:14,246
You got to outwit them.
423
00:24:14,386 --> 00:24:17,844
Maybe, uh, connive a little bit.
424
00:24:17,989 --> 00:24:20,753
I think that's the line
we should be following.
425
00:24:22,794 --> 00:24:24,455
Let me think, boys.
426
00:24:34,072 --> 00:24:36,802
Wait a minute!
427
00:24:36,942 --> 00:24:40,434
Jock, honey,
you forgot your lunch.
428
00:24:40,579 --> 00:24:43,309
Me, eat lunch
out of a paper bag?
429
00:24:43,448 --> 00:24:46,474
Ain't you forgetting my position
just a little?
430
00:24:46,618 --> 00:24:48,643
And look at this place.
431
00:24:48,787 --> 00:24:51,813
I'm gonna move us into
a fancy boardinghouse in town.
432
00:24:51,957 --> 00:24:54,949
And have our baby
playing in the street?
433
00:24:57,529 --> 00:24:59,997
And... and what about Sally?
434
00:25:00,131 --> 00:25:02,895
I'll put her up
in a livery stable.
435
00:25:03,034 --> 00:25:06,162
And have her baby
growing up in a stall?
436
00:25:06,304 --> 00:25:10,070
I only plan to hire her
a full-time exercise boy.
437
00:25:10,208 --> 00:25:13,939
But, Jock,
it would cost so much money.
438
00:25:14,079 --> 00:25:15,774
Money is no object.
439
00:25:15,914 --> 00:25:20,578
Ain't I a legally appointed,
full-time tax collector?
440
00:25:20,719 --> 00:25:22,880
Jock, honey...
441
00:25:23,021 --> 00:25:24,682
could you walk to work?
442
00:25:24,823 --> 00:25:28,020
I'll need the buggy today.
443
00:25:28,159 --> 00:25:30,127
Of course, my dear.
444
00:25:30,262 --> 00:25:32,253
Someday, we're gonna have
two buggies.
445
00:25:34,766 --> 00:25:36,757
I'll hire myself a hack in town.
446
00:25:58,023 --> 00:26:02,460
Sally, something terrible
has happened to Papa.
447
00:26:03,795 --> 00:26:06,127
We've just got to
do something about it.
448
00:26:23,848 --> 00:26:26,078
Hello, Mrs. Henry.
449
00:26:26,217 --> 00:26:28,811
This is a surprise.
450
00:26:28,954 --> 00:26:31,752
Oh, sh-should you be, uh,
riding around with...
451
00:26:31,890 --> 00:26:32,982
well, you know, in your?
452
00:26:33,124 --> 00:26:34,989
I-I just had to come,
Mr. Cartwright.
453
00:26:35,126 --> 00:26:36,650
It's awful important.
454
00:26:36,795 --> 00:26:38,228
I got to talk to you.
455
00:26:38,363 --> 00:26:40,888
Oh... are-are you
feeling all right?
456
00:26:41,032 --> 00:26:42,363
It's Jock.
457
00:26:42,500 --> 00:26:44,058
Something terrible's happened.
458
00:26:44,202 --> 00:26:46,136
What... He hasn't had
an accident?
459
00:26:46,271 --> 00:26:47,898
No.
460
00:26:48,039 --> 00:26:50,269
It's much worse than that.
461
00:26:50,408 --> 00:26:52,069
He's changed.
462
00:26:52,210 --> 00:26:54,337
He's become
a different kind of man.
463
00:26:56,214 --> 00:26:58,546
Yeah, I'm-I'm fully aware
of that.
464
00:26:58,683 --> 00:27:02,244
He used to be so sweet and kind.
465
00:27:02,387 --> 00:27:04,981
He was always around the house
when I needed him.
466
00:27:05,123 --> 00:27:06,317
Yeah.
467
00:27:06,458 --> 00:27:11,054
Now I don't even know
where he is half the time.
468
00:27:12,731 --> 00:27:16,132
And not only that,
Mr. Cartwright,
469
00:27:16,267 --> 00:27:18,929
a lot of people don't seem
to like him anymore.
470
00:27:20,972 --> 00:27:23,805
Oh, Mrs. Henry, uh...
471
00:27:23,942 --> 00:27:26,740
Let me get this straight, now.
472
00:27:26,878 --> 00:27:29,073
Are you suggesting
that you'd be just as happy
473
00:27:29,214 --> 00:27:31,774
if he didn't have
this tax collecting job?
474
00:27:31,916 --> 00:27:36,410
Oh, Mr. Cartwright,
do you think there's any way
475
00:27:36,554 --> 00:27:38,579
you could talk him
into giving it up?
476
00:27:38,723 --> 00:27:42,955
Well, I... I'd sure
like to help you
477
00:27:43,094 --> 00:27:45,028
along those lines.
478
00:27:45,163 --> 00:27:47,563
Uh, look, why don't you, uh,
why don't you come in the house,
479
00:27:47,699 --> 00:27:50,463
and we'll, uh, have a cup of tea
and then we can talk about it.
480
00:27:50,602 --> 00:27:54,629
I sure would love
a cup of tea, but I...
481
00:27:54,773 --> 00:27:57,708
Well, I-I don't think I ought
to move around too much.
482
00:27:57,842 --> 00:27:59,070
Oh!
483
00:27:59,210 --> 00:28:00,677
Oh, by all means, by all means.
484
00:28:00,812 --> 00:28:02,370
Well, I'll-I'll get Hop Sing
to get the tea ready,
485
00:28:02,514 --> 00:28:04,505
and I'll bring it out
in a jiffy.
486
00:28:15,894 --> 00:28:19,022
Joe.
487
00:28:19,164 --> 00:28:20,028
Yeah, Pa?
488
00:28:20,165 --> 00:28:21,154
Where's Hoss?
489
00:28:21,299 --> 00:28:22,197
Oh, he's outside.
I'll get him.
490
00:28:22,333 --> 00:28:23,960
No, no, no. No, no.
491
00:28:24,102 --> 00:28:25,967
He might balk at this idea.
492
00:28:26,104 --> 00:28:28,971
You know the way he is, wrapped
up in helping Jock and all.
493
00:28:29,107 --> 00:28:30,665
Yeah, you're probably right.
494
00:28:30,809 --> 00:28:32,606
Now, Hoss has a lesson
to learn, too.
495
00:28:32,744 --> 00:28:35,076
He's let his heart run away
with his head.
496
00:28:35,213 --> 00:28:36,145
Yeah, what's your plan?
497
00:28:36,281 --> 00:28:38,875
Now, do you remember
498
00:28:39,017 --> 00:28:40,678
that sorry little filly
that took us
499
00:28:40,819 --> 00:28:42,753
in those match races
over at Carson City?
500
00:28:42,887 --> 00:28:44,081
Oh, do I.
501
00:28:44,222 --> 00:28:45,985
She ran as fast as
a streak of lightning.
502
00:28:46,124 --> 00:28:47,921
Not much larger than a pony,
and skinny.
503
00:28:48,059 --> 00:28:49,583
You'd swear she couldn't
carry a man,
504
00:28:49,728 --> 00:28:52,219
much less run like the wind
under him.
505
00:28:52,363 --> 00:28:54,490
Hey, Pa...
506
00:28:54,632 --> 00:28:55,656
Pa, that's right.
507
00:28:55,800 --> 00:28:57,734
And Jock can't resist
a horse race.
508
00:28:57,869 --> 00:28:59,131
Why, that horse
would make Gatling
509
00:28:59,270 --> 00:29:00,532
look like he was standing still.
510
00:29:00,672 --> 00:29:03,607
Little Joe, you're pretty good
at conniving yourself.
511
00:29:03,742 --> 00:29:05,437
Well, thank you, Pa.
512
00:29:05,577 --> 00:29:08,842
Son, I want you
to buy that filly.
513
00:29:08,980 --> 00:29:11,414
Hmm. Not at the price
that farmer asked.
514
00:29:11,549 --> 00:29:12,607
What's the difference?
515
00:29:12,751 --> 00:29:14,776
The money's gonna be
taxed away, anyway.
516
00:29:14,919 --> 00:29:15,851
Go get her.
517
00:29:15,987 --> 00:29:17,978
Yes, sir.
518
00:29:27,132 --> 00:29:29,828
Pa, I've known you to do
a lot of conniving in your life,
519
00:29:29,968 --> 00:29:31,697
but I never knew it
to take you this long
520
00:29:31,836 --> 00:29:33,895
to connive up
something real good.
521
00:29:34,038 --> 00:29:35,198
Conniving?
522
00:29:35,340 --> 00:29:37,069
Well, that's a fine thing
to say to your father...
523
00:29:37,208 --> 00:29:39,199
call him a conniver.
524
00:29:43,281 --> 00:29:46,148
Joe, where'd you go last night?
525
00:29:46,284 --> 00:29:47,911
Where did I go last night?
526
00:29:48,052 --> 00:29:49,917
Dad-burn it, don't answer me
with a question,
527
00:29:50,054 --> 00:29:51,988
answer me with an answer!
528
00:29:52,123 --> 00:29:54,717
There's something
mighty haywire around here.
529
00:29:58,630 --> 00:30:00,723
Anybody home?!
530
00:30:00,865 --> 00:30:03,857
Why, uh, look who's here!
531
00:30:06,504 --> 00:30:08,062
Hoss, it's, uh, Mrs. Henry.
532
00:30:08,206 --> 00:30:10,401
Why don't you go out
and see what she wants, son.
533
00:30:10,542 --> 00:30:12,066
Why me, Pa?
534
00:30:12,210 --> 00:30:13,973
Well, Hoss, she's your friend.
535
00:30:14,112 --> 00:30:17,809
And besides, I haven't
finished my breakfast yet.
536
00:30:17,949 --> 00:30:19,109
All right.
537
00:30:36,534 --> 00:30:38,263
Pa, you know,
you were almost too anxious.
538
00:30:38,403 --> 00:30:39,870
Hey, do you think so?
539
00:30:40,004 --> 00:30:42,165
Well, anyway, she's more
reliable than her husband.
540
00:30:42,307 --> 00:30:43,296
She's on time.
541
00:30:48,012 --> 00:30:49,843
I-I'm sorry, Hoss.
542
00:30:49,981 --> 00:30:52,313
I don't mean to bother you,
but, well,
543
00:30:52,450 --> 00:30:55,385
Sally's having terrible pains,
and-and Jock's gone out
544
00:30:55,520 --> 00:30:58,648
on his tax collecting,
and I-I'm all alone and...
545
00:30:58,790 --> 00:31:02,453
and I just got to have help.
546
00:31:02,594 --> 00:31:03,925
Poor little old Sally.
547
00:31:04,062 --> 00:31:05,552
Sure I'll help you, ma'am.
548
00:31:05,697 --> 00:31:07,688
You-You just scoot over.
549
00:31:11,436 --> 00:31:13,996
Thank you, Hoss.
550
00:31:16,140 --> 00:31:17,698
Hey, Pa, you know,
the more I know you,
551
00:31:17,842 --> 00:31:19,332
the more I realize
what a conniver you are.
552
00:31:19,477 --> 00:31:20,967
Well, never mind
what kind of conniver I am.
553
00:31:21,112 --> 00:31:22,511
Let's get to town.
Ellery's gonna be waiting.
554
00:31:22,647 --> 00:31:24,046
I'll get the filly
out of the barn.
555
00:31:24,182 --> 00:31:26,480
Little Joe, don't let
"solly" filly catch cold.
556
00:31:26,618 --> 00:31:28,017
You keep cover with blanket.
557
00:31:28,152 --> 00:31:29,881
Got plenty money
lie on him today.
558
00:31:30,021 --> 00:31:30,919
Don't "wolly."
559
00:31:32,056 --> 00:31:33,318
I better get the horses.
560
00:31:33,458 --> 00:31:34,982
I get my money.
561
00:31:36,694 --> 00:31:38,685
You've been
standing there for 15 minutes.
562
00:31:38,830 --> 00:31:39,922
Make up your mind.
563
00:31:51,509 --> 00:31:54,239
Well, Ellery, I think I'm about
ready to make that bet now.
564
00:31:54,379 --> 00:31:56,370
How much?
565
00:31:56,514 --> 00:31:58,914
Well, I'd say, uh,
I'll bet you $1,000.
566
00:31:59,050 --> 00:32:01,348
Let's make it $2,000.
567
00:32:01,486 --> 00:32:03,920
No, a thousand
is good enough for me.
568
00:32:04,055 --> 00:32:05,818
All right, then, $1,000.
569
00:32:05,957 --> 00:32:07,447
It's a bet.
570
00:32:07,592 --> 00:32:10,254
Little Joe, let's talk about
the strategy of this thing now.
571
00:32:10,395 --> 00:32:12,192
Excuse me.
572
00:32:51,903 --> 00:32:54,167
Fine animal, isn't he?
573
00:32:54,305 --> 00:32:56,296
Beautiful!
574
00:33:01,245 --> 00:33:02,234
Ben.
575
00:33:04,215 --> 00:33:07,742
She's what I call a sorry filly.
576
00:33:07,885 --> 00:33:11,685
Not fast enough to race,
too small for a full day's work,
577
00:33:11,823 --> 00:33:13,791
and not strong enough
to pull with the team.
578
00:33:13,925 --> 00:33:15,119
What are you talking about?
579
00:33:15,259 --> 00:33:17,250
I paid a lot of money
for that horse.
580
00:33:18,563 --> 00:33:20,929
Well...
581
00:33:21,065 --> 00:33:23,260
See, the fact is, Jock, I, uh...
582
00:33:23,401 --> 00:33:25,869
I bought it
to race against Gatling.
583
00:33:26,004 --> 00:33:28,370
Well, that's the trouble
with these sorry fillies:
584
00:33:28,506 --> 00:33:30,303
someone's always
taking them to heart,
585
00:33:30,441 --> 00:33:33,501
sweating over them, loving them
586
00:33:33,644 --> 00:33:35,236
and going broke on them.
587
00:33:37,248 --> 00:33:40,513
Now, Jock, I paid $500
for that horse,
588
00:33:40,651 --> 00:33:43,211
and I intend to pay taxes
on the full amount.
589
00:33:43,354 --> 00:33:45,720
Well, I wouldn't
assess her at $50.
590
00:33:45,857 --> 00:33:48,052
When I'm betting $1,000
against Gatling?
591
00:33:48,192 --> 00:33:51,355
$50... you supposed to be
a horse expert?
592
00:33:51,496 --> 00:33:54,693
Any more money you want to bet
against Gatling, Mr. Cartwright?
593
00:33:54,832 --> 00:33:56,459
Now, we're not talking
about money.
594
00:33:56,601 --> 00:33:58,330
This is a,
this is a grudge race.
595
00:33:58,469 --> 00:34:01,961
Hop Sing,
that goes for you, too.
596
00:34:02,106 --> 00:34:06,167
I, uh, I sure hate to see Hoss's
pa make a fool of hisself,
597
00:34:06,310 --> 00:34:08,710
but believe me, Mr. Cartwright,
that filly of yours
598
00:34:08,846 --> 00:34:10,746
ain't worth its weight in hay.
599
00:34:10,882 --> 00:34:13,112
And you're supposed to be
an assessor?
600
00:34:13,251 --> 00:34:14,149
You bet I am.
601
00:34:14,285 --> 00:34:15,183
Bet? Bet what?
602
00:34:15,319 --> 00:34:16,718
You haven't got a penny to bet.
603
00:34:16,854 --> 00:34:17,843
I get a good salary.
604
00:34:17,989 --> 00:34:20,150
$60 a month... chicken feed.
605
00:34:20,291 --> 00:34:23,852
Uh, 12 months is $720;
you call that chicken feed?
606
00:34:23,995 --> 00:34:26,156
No, I call that a bet.
607
00:34:26,297 --> 00:34:27,457
Oh.
608
00:34:27,598 --> 00:34:29,327
You're not backing down,
are you?
609
00:34:31,169 --> 00:34:33,330
Now, wait a minute,
Mr. Cartwright.
610
00:34:33,471 --> 00:34:37,237
You're-You're Hoss's pa;
I can't do this to you.
611
00:34:37,375 --> 00:34:41,277
Well, I don't mind doing it
to Hoss's best friend, do I?
612
00:34:44,715 --> 00:34:47,377
Mr. Cartwright,
man gets too uppity,
613
00:34:47,518 --> 00:34:49,042
he needs taken down a peg.
614
00:34:49,187 --> 00:34:51,280
My sentiments exactly.
615
00:34:55,059 --> 00:34:57,789
For your own good,
I'll take that bet.
616
00:34:57,929 --> 00:34:59,726
Good!
617
00:34:59,864 --> 00:35:02,298
Now let's get down
to the starting line.
618
00:35:13,678 --> 00:35:17,637
Nah, Mrs. Henry, Sally ain't
likely to have that colt today.
619
00:35:17,782 --> 00:35:18,908
Are you sure, Hoss?
620
00:35:19,050 --> 00:35:21,041
When I left,
she was standing in the corner,
621
00:35:21,185 --> 00:35:22,550
pawing a big hole in the ground.
622
00:35:22,687 --> 00:35:25,212
She was?
623
00:35:25,356 --> 00:35:27,881
Dad-burn it, I sure would hate
for anything to happen to Sally
624
00:35:28,025 --> 00:35:29,151
without Jock being here.
625
00:35:29,293 --> 00:35:31,727
I think I better
ride in town and get him.
626
00:35:36,734 --> 00:35:38,133
Hoss, now, please wait.
627
00:35:38,269 --> 00:35:39,702
You know you'll never find Jock.
628
00:35:39,837 --> 00:35:41,134
Ma'am, everything's gonna be
all right.
629
00:35:41,272 --> 00:35:42,170
Don't you worry.
630
00:35:42,306 --> 00:35:43,534
Hoss, now, he just
keeps going from
631
00:35:43,674 --> 00:35:45,938
one house to the next
and from one barn to the next...
632
00:35:46,077 --> 00:35:47,977
Ma'am, everything's,
everything's gonna be all right.
633
00:35:48,112 --> 00:35:49,136
Don't you worry about it.
634
00:36:03,294 --> 00:36:05,489
Ma'am, you go get me
some hot water, and hurry.
635
00:36:05,630 --> 00:36:08,258
Hurry! Run!
636
00:36:28,319 --> 00:36:30,787
Look, Joe, if we're gonna get
ourselves a new tax collector,
637
00:36:30,922 --> 00:36:32,412
you better win this race.
638
00:36:32,557 --> 00:36:34,616
I'll just let him run himself
out the first two laps
639
00:36:34,759 --> 00:36:35,817
and take him on the third.
640
00:36:35,960 --> 00:36:37,359
You better take him
on the third.
641
00:36:37,495 --> 00:36:39,554
Or you're out $1,720.
642
00:36:39,697 --> 00:36:42,632
No, we're out $1,720.
643
00:36:42,767 --> 00:36:44,758
You have half the bet.
644
00:36:48,940 --> 00:36:50,805
We got to win this one, skinny.
645
00:36:50,942 --> 00:36:52,933
It's gonna be all right.
646
00:36:54,812 --> 00:36:57,542
Before you know it...
647
00:36:57,682 --> 00:36:59,616
Before you know it,
you're gonna be a...
648
00:36:59,750 --> 00:37:01,274
you're gonna be
a brand-new mother
649
00:37:01,419 --> 00:37:03,250
of the cutest little old colt
you ever seen...
650
00:37:03,387 --> 00:37:04,820
with a brown face
and big brown eyes
651
00:37:04,956 --> 00:37:06,184
and a bushy tail
just like yours.
652
00:37:06,324 --> 00:37:07,188
Gonna look just like you.
653
00:37:09,227 --> 00:37:12,219
Dad-burn it,
where is that water?
654
00:37:12,363 --> 00:37:13,489
Everything's gonna be
all right, Sally.
655
00:37:13,631 --> 00:37:15,155
I-I'm gonna have to go
to the house a minute
656
00:37:15,299 --> 00:37:16,527
and see if I can get some water.
657
00:37:16,667 --> 00:37:18,032
I'll be right back now.
658
00:37:18,169 --> 00:37:19,932
You-You stay right here,
you hear?
659
00:37:20,071 --> 00:37:21,163
Be still.
660
00:37:21,305 --> 00:37:22,272
Lay right still.
661
00:37:22,406 --> 00:37:24,806
I'll be right back.
662
00:37:24,942 --> 00:37:27,570
You just be nice and calm
like me, you hear?
663
00:37:27,712 --> 00:37:28,576
Yeah.
664
00:37:33,017 --> 00:37:34,382
I thought you was
gonna bring that water.
665
00:37:34,518 --> 00:37:36,281
I'm having a heck of a race
with that horse...
666
00:37:38,723 --> 00:37:40,384
Ma'am.
667
00:37:40,524 --> 00:37:41,491
Mrs. Henry.
668
00:37:41,626 --> 00:37:42,593
Help me, will you, Hoss?
669
00:37:42,727 --> 00:37:44,456
Yes'm.
670
00:37:46,464 --> 00:37:48,159
I-I put the water on, Hoss,
671
00:37:48,299 --> 00:37:50,324
but I think you're gonna be
needing it for me.
672
00:37:50,468 --> 00:37:51,935
Oh, no.
673
00:37:52,069 --> 00:37:54,731
I'm afraid you can't stop it
with words, Hoss.
674
00:37:54,872 --> 00:37:57,340
Yes'm. I-I'll run into town
and get Doc Snow.
675
00:37:57,475 --> 00:38:01,241
No, no, there isn't time.
676
00:38:01,379 --> 00:38:03,210
Ma'am, don't you worry
about nothing.
677
00:38:03,347 --> 00:38:04,746
Everything's gonna be
all right, you hear?
678
00:38:04,882 --> 00:38:06,747
You're gonna have a nice,
big, old, healthy young'un,
679
00:38:06,884 --> 00:38:09,375
big, blue eyes
and a long, bushy tail...
680
00:38:10,788 --> 00:38:12,119
Ma'am, I hear Sally calling;
I got to run.
681
00:38:12,256 --> 00:38:13,587
You stay right where you are
and stay calm,
682
00:38:13,724 --> 00:38:14,622
just like me, you hear?
683
00:38:14,759 --> 00:38:15,726
Everything's gonna be all right.
684
00:38:15,860 --> 00:38:16,724
Please, Hoss, hurry!
685
00:38:16,861 --> 00:38:17,725
Yes'm.
686
00:38:17,862 --> 00:38:20,490
Sure got a race on my hands now.
687
00:38:20,631 --> 00:38:22,622
Dad-burn starts
are ganging up on me.
688
00:38:32,543 --> 00:38:35,410
Here I am back, Sally,
just like I told you.
689
00:38:42,753 --> 00:38:44,084
All right, boys,
I'll take your bets
690
00:38:44,221 --> 00:38:45,654
right up to
the last time around.
691
00:38:45,790 --> 00:38:47,849
Remember, they got three times
to go around.
692
00:38:47,992 --> 00:38:49,721
That's ten to one, ten to one.
693
00:38:49,860 --> 00:38:50,849
I'll take your bets...
694
00:38:50,995 --> 00:38:52,792
All right, boys, don't rush me.
695
00:38:52,930 --> 00:38:54,591
We keep money in family.
696
00:38:54,732 --> 00:38:57,030
ten to one.
697
00:38:57,168 --> 00:38:58,601
You bet Gatling, huh?
698
00:38:58,736 --> 00:39:01,330
You bet Gatling, ten to one.
699
00:39:01,472 --> 00:39:02,939
We keep money in family.
Very good.
700
00:39:03,074 --> 00:39:04,268
Sally.
701
00:39:06,610 --> 00:39:08,908
What you crying about?
702
00:39:09,046 --> 00:39:11,037
Didn't I tell you
I was gonna be back?
703
00:39:15,986 --> 00:39:16,918
Well, they ought to be
704
00:39:17,054 --> 00:39:18,578
coming around the corner
any minute now.
705
00:39:18,723 --> 00:39:20,987
At least, Gatling will be
coming around the corner.
706
00:39:25,796 --> 00:39:26,785
Come on, Gatling!
707
00:39:28,799 --> 00:39:29,959
Close up on him, Little Joe!
708
00:39:30,101 --> 00:39:31,090
Close up on him!
709
00:39:34,338 --> 00:39:35,669
Gatling in front.
710
00:39:35,806 --> 00:39:37,398
This not so good
for this bookmaker.
711
00:39:37,541 --> 00:39:40,408
All right, folks, all right,
folks, you saw it for yourself...
712
00:39:40,544 --> 00:39:42,205
Gatling two lengths ahead!
713
00:39:42,346 --> 00:39:44,109
Odds are now 20 to one!
714
00:39:45,449 --> 00:39:47,474
20 to one... I give same odd.
715
00:39:47,618 --> 00:39:48,550
20 to one.
716
00:39:48,686 --> 00:39:50,244
You take Gatling,
you take Gatling.
717
00:39:50,388 --> 00:39:51,719
We keep money in family.
718
00:39:51,856 --> 00:39:53,847
All right, now,
you wait your turn now, boy.
719
00:39:53,991 --> 00:39:56,221
All right, now... hey, give me
back that, give it back.
720
00:39:56,360 --> 00:39:58,191
You know,
I hate to take your money.
721
00:39:58,329 --> 00:39:59,353
Yeah, I'll bet you do.
722
00:39:59,497 --> 00:40:00,862
You want to add
another half year's salary
723
00:40:00,998 --> 00:40:03,057
to that bet, Mr. Cartwright?
724
00:40:03,200 --> 00:40:05,760
Jock, why don't we make it
another full year?
725
00:40:05,903 --> 00:40:08,167
That'll make it two years.
726
00:40:08,305 --> 00:40:09,795
It's a bet.
727
00:40:11,809 --> 00:40:13,868
Everything's gonna be
all right, Sally.
728
00:40:14,011 --> 00:40:15,376
You think you got problems?
729
00:40:15,513 --> 00:40:17,174
Mrs. Henry's got problems
just as bad.
730
00:40:17,314 --> 00:40:18,906
She's real brave about it.
731
00:40:19,049 --> 00:40:21,643
Hoss? Hoss!
732
00:40:21,786 --> 00:40:23,651
I got to go back
in the house, Sally.
733
00:40:23,788 --> 00:40:24,777
I-I'll be right back.
734
00:40:26,590 --> 00:40:27,921
You lay right here, you hear?
735
00:40:28,058 --> 00:40:29,491
Look out for that hot water.
736
00:40:29,627 --> 00:40:31,458
You stay.
I'll be right back.
737
00:40:31,595 --> 00:40:35,224
I got to go in the house
just a minute.
738
00:40:38,969 --> 00:40:40,698
Hoss, you'd better
come in here quick!
739
00:40:41,839 --> 00:40:42,703
Hoss!
740
00:40:43,841 --> 00:40:45,832
Hoss!
741
00:40:51,782 --> 00:40:52,806
Here they come.
742
00:40:55,519 --> 00:40:56,816
Go! Make it
another thousand, Ellery?
743
00:40:56,954 --> 00:40:57,886
No, no! Go, Gatling!
744
00:40:58,022 --> 00:40:59,580
All right, Joe! Run him!
Go, boy!
745
00:41:02,626 --> 00:41:04,184
21 to one, boys.
746
00:41:04,328 --> 00:41:06,853
Come on, you big spenders;
21 to one!
747
00:41:06,997 --> 00:41:08,897
21 to one. I give same odd.
748
00:41:09,033 --> 00:41:10,125
Twenty... What's the matter?
749
00:41:10,267 --> 00:41:11,131
You no bet?
750
00:41:11,268 --> 00:41:12,200
Keep money in family.
751
00:41:12,336 --> 00:41:13,200
All the same.
752
00:41:13,337 --> 00:41:14,827
21 to one... Gatling.
753
00:41:14,972 --> 00:41:16,200
What you crying about, ma'am?
754
00:41:16,340 --> 00:41:18,205
I-I told you I was gonna be
right back, didn't I?
755
00:41:18,342 --> 00:41:19,639
Everything's gonna be all right.
756
00:41:21,278 --> 00:41:22,210
Sally's calling, ma'am.
757
00:41:22,346 --> 00:41:23,973
I-I got to go back out
to the barn now.
758
00:41:24,114 --> 00:41:26,241
Don't you let nothing happen
till I get back, you hear?
759
00:41:26,383 --> 00:41:29,682
Hoss, I'm afraid I don't have
much to say about it.
760
00:41:31,288 --> 00:41:32,152
Yes'm.
761
00:41:32,289 --> 00:41:33,517
Well, I'll be right back.
762
00:41:33,657 --> 00:41:34,715
You-You stay right here.
763
00:41:34,859 --> 00:41:35,985
Don't you go nowhere, you hear?
764
00:41:36,126 --> 00:41:36,990
I'll be right back.
765
00:41:55,513 --> 00:41:58,812
Sally, what you
holding out on me for?
766
00:41:58,949 --> 00:42:00,246
If you're gonna do something,
do it.
767
00:42:00,384 --> 00:42:01,851
If you don't, Mrs. Henry's
gonna beat you to it.
768
00:42:01,986 --> 00:42:02,975
She's gonna be calling me
any minute.
769
00:42:03,120 --> 00:42:03,984
Now, come on, here.
770
00:42:09,226 --> 00:42:10,557
Come on, Joe!
771
00:42:15,065 --> 00:42:16,157
Come on, Joe!
772
00:42:19,103 --> 00:42:20,968
Yahoo!
773
00:42:23,941 --> 00:42:25,670
Yahoo!
774
00:42:29,780 --> 00:42:31,805
I don't know
what in the world happened.
775
00:42:31,949 --> 00:42:33,507
That's the worst race
Gatling ever run!
776
00:42:33,651 --> 00:42:37,018
$1,000, Ellery.
777
00:42:37,154 --> 00:42:38,781
What did you say
that mare's name is?
778
00:42:38,923 --> 00:42:39,912
Well, her name is Clementine,
779
00:42:40,057 --> 00:42:41,615
but I think from the look
on your face,
780
00:42:41,759 --> 00:42:43,693
we ought to call her
"Old Sorry" from now on.
781
00:42:44,962 --> 00:42:46,520
It ain't funny.
782
00:42:46,664 --> 00:42:48,962
Don't feel so sad.
783
00:42:49,099 --> 00:42:52,398
We keep all money in family.
784
00:42:53,604 --> 00:42:54,901
Hey, Joe, that was
a wonderful race!
785
00:42:55,039 --> 00:42:56,165
Wonderful.
Thank you.
786
00:42:56,307 --> 00:42:57,205
Hey.
787
00:42:57,341 --> 00:42:59,571
Oh, Pa, you said half the bet.
788
00:43:01,512 --> 00:43:03,002
All right, men,
don't rush me now!
789
00:43:03,147 --> 00:43:04,409
Get back in line!
790
00:43:04,548 --> 00:43:05,537
Don't rush me!
791
00:43:07,585 --> 00:43:09,052
Hey, thanks.
792
00:43:19,096 --> 00:43:21,929
Hoss! Hoss!
793
00:43:24,401 --> 00:43:26,699
Sally, don't you do nothing
till I get back, you hear?
794
00:43:26,837 --> 00:43:28,134
Don't you do nothing.
You just lay there.
795
00:43:28,272 --> 00:43:29,136
I'll be right back.
796
00:43:29,273 --> 00:43:30,399
Stay calm.
797
00:43:33,077 --> 00:43:34,567
Hoss!
798
00:43:36,847 --> 00:43:38,838
Hoss!
799
00:43:41,085 --> 00:43:43,076
Hoss!
800
00:45:03,167 --> 00:45:05,567
Jock, where in tarnation
have you been?
801
00:45:05,703 --> 00:45:07,295
Don't tell me; I know.
802
00:45:07,438 --> 00:45:10,601
Been out collecting taxes while
I'm here delivering your twins.
803
00:45:10,741 --> 00:45:11,867
Fine husband you are.
804
00:45:12,009 --> 00:45:13,567
Fine father you're gonna make.
805
00:45:13,711 --> 00:45:15,110
Father?!
806
00:45:15,245 --> 00:45:16,269
You mean...
807
00:45:16,413 --> 00:45:18,347
You mean you, Hoss...
808
00:45:18,482 --> 00:45:19,881
You bring my twins
into the world?
809
00:45:20,017 --> 00:45:21,644
Go in there in the house
and see for yourself.
810
00:45:23,087 --> 00:45:24,520
Hey, Jock.
811
00:45:24,655 --> 00:45:25,815
Keep it quiet.
812
00:45:25,956 --> 00:45:27,116
He may be asleep.
813
00:45:42,806 --> 00:45:43,966
There's only one!
814
00:45:44,108 --> 00:45:45,973
Where'd you hide my other baby?!
815
00:45:46,110 --> 00:45:47,634
Where did you put it?!
816
00:45:47,778 --> 00:45:50,008
Where did you,
where did you put him?!
817
00:45:50,147 --> 00:45:51,444
In the barn, Jock.
818
00:45:51,582 --> 00:45:52,606
Oh.
819
00:45:52,750 --> 00:45:53,808
The barn?!
820
00:45:53,951 --> 00:45:57,148
You can't put my other baby
in the barn!
821
00:46:07,698 --> 00:46:12,101
Sally, Sally, Sally, I-I never
knew it would be like this.
822
00:46:12,236 --> 00:46:15,205
Oh, you've got
a fine little colt.
823
00:46:15,339 --> 00:46:18,069
He's gonna be our pride and joy.
824
00:46:18,208 --> 00:46:20,039
And you ought to see the boy.
825
00:46:20,177 --> 00:46:23,442
He-He's so handsome,
I'm going to call him Hoss.
826
00:46:23,580 --> 00:46:25,377
Hoss Cartwright Henry.
827
00:46:26,950 --> 00:46:29,919
Oh, Jock,
don't-don't carry on so.
828
00:46:30,053 --> 00:46:33,819
I-I think I'm gonna cry.
829
00:46:33,957 --> 00:46:36,016
I think you are, too.
830
00:46:43,133 --> 00:46:45,761
That's right, Mr. Cartwright.
831
00:46:45,903 --> 00:46:47,666
We got us a problem, haven't we?
832
00:46:47,805 --> 00:46:48,829
Yes, we have, Jock.
833
00:46:48,972 --> 00:46:50,667
I still owe you a year's salary.
834
00:46:50,808 --> 00:46:52,639
No, two years' salary.
835
00:46:52,776 --> 00:46:54,471
Two years' salary?
Yeah.
836
00:46:54,611 --> 00:46:56,272
Yeah, he, uh, lost it
on a horse race.
837
00:46:56,413 --> 00:46:57,675
Oh, it was a fair bet, Hoss.
838
00:46:57,815 --> 00:47:00,978
You see, I-I bet him
against his two years' salary...
839
00:47:01,118 --> 00:47:02,745
you know, supposing
he was gonna be working.
840
00:47:02,886 --> 00:47:04,854
Now, if he wasn't
gonna be working, I...
841
00:47:04,988 --> 00:47:08,287
Mr. Cartwright, are you
suggesting that I quit my job?
842
00:47:08,425 --> 00:47:09,892
No, I'm not
suggesting that at all.
843
00:47:10,027 --> 00:47:12,120
I was just saying that
I didn't actually bet you money,
844
00:47:12,262 --> 00:47:15,060
I bet against two years' salary,
and if you're not working...
845
00:47:15,199 --> 00:47:18,225
Oh, I, uh, well, I sure wish
I could go along with that,
846
00:47:18,368 --> 00:47:20,768
Mr. Cartwright, but Dave Hart...
he really needs me
847
00:47:20,904 --> 00:47:22,201
down at
the tax collecting office.
848
00:47:22,339 --> 00:47:26,537
Jock, I know Dave needs you, but
Ellen needs you much more now.
849
00:47:26,677 --> 00:47:27,735
I've been talking to her.
850
00:47:27,878 --> 00:47:29,505
She's so unhappy
with you away on that
851
00:47:29,646 --> 00:47:30,772
tax collecting job all the time.
852
00:47:30,914 --> 00:47:33,246
And now with Sally and the colt
and adding in the baby,
853
00:47:33,383 --> 00:47:34,509
she needs you all the more.
854
00:47:34,651 --> 00:47:35,640
You really think so?
855
00:47:35,786 --> 00:47:37,276
Oh, I know so.
I think you're right.
856
00:47:37,421 --> 00:47:38,718
And you know something else?
857
00:47:38,856 --> 00:47:41,290
When I first took that job, Dave
told me it was only temporary.
858
00:47:43,327 --> 00:47:45,659
Temporary?
859
00:47:45,796 --> 00:47:48,287
All the conniving,
and the job was only temporary.
860
00:47:52,169 --> 00:47:53,363
Thank you, Mr. Cartwright.
861
00:47:53,503 --> 00:47:55,164
You're welcome, Jock.
862
00:48:00,811 --> 00:48:03,746
Joe, take your hat off.
863
00:48:09,253 --> 00:48:11,244
That's for the baby.
864
00:48:14,391 --> 00:48:15,653
That's for Ellen.
865
00:48:15,792 --> 00:48:17,487
Family contribute
for little colt.
866
00:48:17,628 --> 00:48:18,652
Good.
867
00:48:18,795 --> 00:48:21,821
You contribute, Mr. Hoss?
868
00:48:21,965 --> 00:48:24,195
I think I done contributed
enough to this outfit.
869
00:48:24,334 --> 00:48:25,358
I think he has, too.
870
00:48:27,037 --> 00:48:28,265
I take to Missy Ellen.
871
00:48:28,405 --> 00:48:29,337
Clean up house.
872
00:48:29,473 --> 00:48:31,168
Make big pot mulligan stew.
873
00:48:31,308 --> 00:48:33,367
Good.
Good boy, Hop Sing.
874
00:49:45,482 --> 00:49:48,007
This has been
a color presentation
875
00:49:48,151 --> 00:49:50,619
of the NBC Television Network.
62248
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