Original subtitles

I'm sorry for doubting you. A Beautiful Mind actually slaps.

I used to watch it once a week for a year when I was, like, 13.

So, you see what I mean, though, right? John Nash,

basically, thinks his way through schizophrenia.

Like, instead of taking his medication, which he hates,

he uses logic to separate the sane from the insane inside his own mind.

That's what I'm gonna do with my dumb bipolar disorder.

- Right. - And you,

- you're gonna be my Jennifer Connelly. - I'm gonna watch

while you get electric shock therapy?

Hopefully not. You're just gonna, like, be there for me

- and have a perfect face. - N'aw.

But, if you went back on the lithium, the depression would piss off?

I can do a bit of depression. I'm great at depression.

- [phone vibrates] - I've got it down to a fine art.

Stay in bed, barely move, minimal human contact.

OK, but how do we get your mum to stop texting?

- [Maggie groans] - My advice,

go and see your doctor, tell them you're off the lithium,

get their blessing, would they give you their blessing?

Mm, probably. Dr Golding checked out of his job years ago.

- He'll just do whatever I say. - Perf.

Then, I can tell your mum you've had the psychiatric thumbs-up,

and she'll back off.

I'm not getting changed.

I didn't expect you to.

[upbeat music plays]

[woman] Come in.

You're not Dr Golding.

No, uh, Dr Golding was very unfortunately

in a massive car accident at the weekend and may, in fact, be, um...

...paralysed.

OK, could, um...

...I maybe see him on Facetime, like,

if someone else can hold up the phone, or...

I'm Dr Burrows, and you must be... Margaret.

Maggie.

Oh, that's the, uh...

...Stability Tri-n-gle.

It's my life's work.

N-Nourish, that's good habits.

N-Network, that's an active social life.

And N-deavour,

your work.

It really is all we need to stay grounded.

Do you have any other shapes, or...

Not peer reviewed.

So, Dr... Golding's notes.

You've been diagnosed with bipolar II for, um, six years?

Uh, and you're a writer.

[stutters] What kind of writing do you do?

- Playwright. - Oh, good.

You've been taking lithium for about five years.

I've actually decided to come off the, um, lithium--

You mustn't do that. Don't do that!

You won't do that, will you?

I-- I already have.

What? Whe-- when?

- A few weeks. - Weeks?

It makes it, like, impossible to write,

which is, like, the bulk of, if not all of being a writer.

My last play was terrible, I think it's because of the lithium

OK, that's OK, that's absolutely fine.

What we're gonna do, we're gonna start again.

- What was the dose that you were... - I-- Sorry, um...

No, no, I can't go back on it, because I need to be able to do my job,

It's the only thing I'm good at, and I can't work in an office,

cos excel is impenetrable, I mean...

- Maggie, are you self-harming? - No, mm-mm.

Not really, it's more just, like, self-irritating.

And are you having suicidal thoughts?

I don't think I should say. [chuckles nervously]

I think I'll probably have to admit you.

Oh, Jesus. No, that--

- That is not necessary. - Listen.

Listen, going cold turkey is extremely ill-advised.

It brings back all the bipolar symptoms, the suicidal ideation,

the lack of sleep, the looking terrible.

- Oh, what else is new? - No!

I think I need to come off for, like, a month.

A month? Do I-- do I look insane to you?

Um...

OK, um...

How about... a couple of weeks?

I-- I would just really love the opportunity to try out

the, um... stability triangle,

I just think it's, like, such an innovative theory.

- One week. - Yeah.

And you come back providing proof that you've been triangulating.

Perf.

Gonna be watching you.

- What's her deal? - She had a patient kill themselves

- on the ward, last month. - Doesn't that come with the territory?

Not just any patient, one with loads of Instagram followers.

No! You can't kill and influencer!

Apparently, there's a lawsuit, so she's kind of...

- [phone vibrates] - ...on edge.

Did she make this meme herself?

I want you to take a step back, look at the bigger picture.

You wanna sell our dead father's bar so you can build a bunker

- in your garden. - It's not just about the bunker.

I'm trying to make plans for the future, like adults do.

I'm keeping the bar. I will simply buy you out.

Oh, with what money? You famously think

that savings accounts are for cowards.

I'm resourceful. Thank you for the chat.

I'll get back to you ASAP.

[he sighs]

[door shuts]

[muffled scream]

- [sighs] - [door opens]

Please, just fuck off.

I've heard worse greetings from that beautiful mouth.

Theodora... it's good to see you.

You have ten seconds to get out.

- Klent! Get the rake hammer! -"Dear, Theodora.

"I have come to make amends for the way I treated you during our time together.

"I have recently completed a three week discovery journey

-"with the Vergebolk group. - What's that, a Nazi research facility?

"As a result of deep-seated emotional trauma,

"the way I've conducted myself in my romantic relationships

"has not been up to the standard I want to hold myself to."

I've read Michelle Obama's biography since the last time,

- I don't take shit anymore. -"Theodora Rushden.

"I am sorry for any pain or suffering...

- I'm a brick-fucking-wall, now. -"...I may have put you through,

"while my soul fought a battle to survive."

Will you forgive me?

[whimpers and groans]

- What's up? Is there a rat? - Yeah, a fucking massive one.

- Shoo! - [he groans]

Where is it?

♪ Sometimes you get so quiet ♪

♪ Walk down to the basement ♪

- ♪ And try to find the light switch ♪ - [sighs]

- ♪ And look for reassurance ♪ - [phone vibrates]

♪ But I can't reassure you ♪

♪ If I don't believe it ♪

- ♪ I know there's some distance ♪ - Ugh.

♪ But I was gonna ride it ♪

[phone vibrates]

[phone vibrates]

- ♪ But you and I are good friends ♪ - [sighs]

- ♪ Sometimes we're in love ♪ - [phone vibrates]

♪ And it feels almost like nothing ♪

- ♪ I'm ever gonna find again ♪ - [phone vibrates]

♪ And I even met your parents ♪

♪ Even though they're homophobic ♪

Why did she pick today, of all days, for a reasonable ultimatum?

♪ And your mind is like a fishnet ♪

♪ And mine is like an icepick ♪

♪ Sometimes it really works ♪

♪ And sometimes it leaves us hanging ♪

♪ And I get so frustrated... ♪

Gorgeous girl.

[phone chimes]

OK, I haven't got long. Sally Wainwright needs me to go by

and fix her printer.

- Now, nobody liked your play. - Mm.

- These things happen. - Yeah, The Guardian said

it was worse than most crimes, so...

And that's very sad, but you can't just disappear

off the face of the Earth.

Now, your commission at The Furlong is in trouble.

You've owed them a first draft for months.

It is becoming uncomfortable to represent you.

Hey! Girlie, I have just been having,

ugh, some, like, mental health stuff.

- And, um-- - Your mental problems

are the only reason you've gotten away with this for so long.

Now...

The Furlong have given you until the end of the week, after that,

you're in breach of contract, and I do not work with writers

who breach their contracts, understood?

Yeah.

I have to go.

I have to get to Sally's before her 5pm milk bath.

You have until Friday, Maggie.

[breathes deeply]

The thing is, Mum really wanted me to keep going with geography,

because I got an A... [chuckles]

...but I just really loved drama.

For our final piece, I wrote this jukebox musical

all about World War II using the music of P!nk.

- Jade! Jade, is that correct? - Yeah.

Like Jade Goody. My mum loves Big Brother.

OK. Um, so, Jade.

One really important thing about writing for theatre

is that you have to be really quiet when you're doing it.

Why?

Because that's what an audience does.

And you have to think of yourself as an audience when you write.

[gasps]

Wow! [chuckles]

I'd never thought of that.

So, what you're gonna do,

is you are gonna write the first draft of a play for me.

Can it be about World War Two? Still got stuff to say.

No, um, so you're gonna write a first draft for me,

doesn't have to be good, about 90 minutes,

and I pitched a two-hander about climate change,

so it's gonna have to be that, unfortunately.

- But it'll be in your name? - Yeah, exactly.

But, I... [chuckles]

- Do you pay me? - [sighs] Jade.

Being paid for creative work before the age of 25

is something made up by your generation.

It's just-- it's not realistic, so...

O-- OK.

Everyone has to start somewhere.

Do you know that show, Fleabag?

- Mm-hm. - Guess who wrote the first draft of that.

[gasps and chuckles]

Godspeed.

[typing]

[calm music plays]

[phone vibrates]

What... the fuck?

[deep breathing]

[dance music plays in background]

What's going on? Why is your flat full of teenagers?

They're Jade's friends.

I've told them we're workshopping a play.

It's an emergency. My psychiatrist followed me on Instagram.

- That's definitely illegal. - I tried to go outside

and make real sane person content, but I couldn't get past the front door.

Gotta hand it to Gen Z, they really know how to fake happiness online.

- They're ready for you now, Maggie. - [groans softly]

[camera shutter clicks]

Are we 100% sure the Beautiful Mind is working?

Totally, I feel my brain adjusting to the less medicated state.

Just need to return to horizontal life, and I'll be grand.

- JADE: We posted those for you, Maggie. - How's the bar?

- Jay's claiming he's found a buyer. - Snake!

No, it's fine. I'll find the money somewhere.

Ooh, in the meantime, Jonah left this

on my doorstep, this morning.

- Is that meant to be you? - [chuckles]

Where'mst does someone even get something like that made?

And why would I want it?

Am I supposed to display it in my own living room?

He's given you page three baps.

- I can't even sell this. - Let me have it!

- [laughing] Why? - It's comforting...

...when you're not here.

[phone vibrates]

[phone vibrates]

Hey, uh, Dr B.

I'm just in the middle of a yoga class.

DR BURROWS: Where are you really, Maggie?

Because I am sending an emergency team to you, right now.

Wha-- No, no, you can't do that,

because I'm...

...having a dinner party with my friends

and my agent, with an all-vegan menu.

- What? - Yeah, I'm having a vegan dinner party

with my close friends and my agent,

to thank her for the... contracts.

Oh, well, I wouldn't want to interrupt anything so, uh, stable.

But I look forward to seeing it on Instagram.

[phone beeps]

[sighs]

Call our friends.

I'm having a dinner party.

Who's cooking?

I am.

[light music plays]

- [knock at door] - That's my agent.

Ryan! Take the shit out of the grill.

[pop music plays in background]

I got your text. Your laptop froze? Is it doing the spinny wheel thing?

Actually, I think it was just sleeping, but now you're here,

please do come in, I'm having one of my spontaneous

- weekday dinner parties. - No-- no.

I'm not a big fan of spontaneity.

Vanessa... [panting]

...I insist you come in.

OK, well, maybe for one.

Everyone, um, Vanessa is here.

- Please, can we get her some wine. - RYAN: Hi, Vanessa! No more white,

- but I've got plenty of red... - Give me strength.

Can everyone, uh, just look really happy, for a sec.

Are there lychees in this pasta bake?

Yes, Anya. It adds a lot of fruitiness

to what would otherwise be a very unsexy dish.

- According to who? - Calum Best.

- It's the only cookbook she owns. - [phone vibrates]

How's everything going with the bar, Eddie?

Anya said Jay's been talking about selling it?

It's nothing. I'm buying Jay out, but nothing will change.

Oh, well, that's good, Eddie.

God, it'd be awful to lose your dead father's bar.

- I can't even fathom it. - You don't need to fathom it.

So, how do you know Maggie?

Oh, I'm her mentee, from creativementorsuk.com.

I didn't know Maggie invited you, Jade.

It's unusual to have you here with us and Vanessa.

No, no, no. She didn't invite me.

She just forgot to ask me to leave.

- This is delicious, Maggie. - Ooh, can you say that again?

This is delicious, Maggie.

- So, how do you know Maggie? - Oh, I'm her agent.

No way! I'm a writer. Well, I'm trying to be.

- I've been helping Maggie this week-- - Uh, Vanessa!

I can't wait for you to try my tiramisu.

Some say I make it better than the Italians.

Ciao bella!

Will, your mouth looks mental.

Really? It feels fine.

- Oh, Jesus. - Are you allergic to lychees?

You know, I've never tried them before,

and I think my body's just adjusting to it.

I think we need to get you to the hospital.

- Are you even breathing? - A bit, yeah.

Oh, no, no, no, no, no! You can't leave!

- Maggie, look at him. - I honestly think it's easy life, now.

I'll be back. It's going really well!

[panting]

Oh, my God.

[door shuts]

Whoa, there, pony.

- Jonah... - What the--

- Are you tracking me? - We need to talk.

Yeah, I'm a bit busy, right now.

I can save your bar.

I'll be all right by myself, Eddie.

- You stay. - No, Will...

[sighs]

Let's walk and talk.

♪ I've seen you all fall apart ♪

♪ I've seen you all wasted ♪

♪ I've seen them all fall apart ♪

[knocks] Maggie?

We're still here, at your weird dinner party.

MAGGIE: Yeah, just give me a minute.

I thought she was making tiramisu.

Why does it smell like squid?

- [gags] - [knock at door]

- Can I help you? - I'm Brian.

OK.

Brian... [crying]

Uh, who's Brian, Maggie?

Oh... [chuckles]

Well, we have been chatting on Tinder

- for... How long has it been? - An hour.

And I thought, with Will and Eddie gone,

it seemed a little bit empty in here, so...

[laughs]

- Oh, yeah. - Right.

So, what did you mean about the bar?

I heard what you and Jay were talking about.

I'm sure there's no point in me telling you that's none of your business.

I'm so sorry that he's putting you through that.

I know that bar is your home.

God, we used to have fun there, didn't we?

Those wild lock-ins on a Saturday night.

Remember the hand we found in the basement?

- That's your best memory? - It was the hottest bar in town.

It can be again, you just...

...need a little help.

Obviously, I've still got a year left of my degree,

but I think I could sign with an agent, now.

Send over samples, I'll get to it as soon as I can.

Fab! Would it be OK if I send over the first draft I wrote for Maggie?

I know it can't be staged, but it's the best thing I've written.

- VANESSA: Maggie. - [laughing]

Is this unpaid teenager writing your play for you?

No.

[chuckles] Jade is just drunk and stupid.

Uh, excuse me! I do not drink.

I'm a semi-professional gymnast.

If I'm so stupid, you won't be needing my play.

- [door opens] - [door shuts]

Anybody mind if I, uh, rack up some ket?

Vanessa, wait. [chuckles nervously]

You have gotten away with a lot because of your issues, Maggie.

But enough is enough.

This is worse than Harold Pinter's tea party!

- [door shuts] - [laughs]

Ooh...

I know I've done some awful things,

but I've changed.

You always told me you were pro-rehabilitation.

- In prisons! - I am in prison,

the prison of my past,

and your forgiveness is the key to my cell.

Please, Theodora.

My name is Eddie. How about starting with that,

you not respecting me enough to call me by my preferred name.

Sorry, Eddie.

Say it, again.

Eddie.

[tense music plays]

Again.

Eddie.

[crying]

Brian's just invited me to travel around Asia with him.

We're leaving next week.

Cambodia.

Babe, I think you should maybe go after your agent.

I'm so excited. Cambodia, Ryan.

I've got business out there. It'll be nice to have...

- ...company. - All right.

No, sorry, absolutely not,

- Ryan, put Maggie to bed. - Yeah, come on.

- Come on. - No, what?

- Let go of me! Ryan! - ANYA: Right,

you walking yeast infection.

You've got two options. Either, you fuck off now,

or you fuck off after I've smashed your remaining teeth down your throat.

Up to you.

Yeah, I'm out.

[birds chirping]

[moans softly]

["Rise" by Azure Ray playing]

♪ Today, I'll crawl out of bed ♪

♪ I can't stand, your shadow is too heavy to lift ♪

♪ Maybe we'll go for a ride ♪

♪ You said you'd take me nowhere ♪

♪ I said that suits me just fine ♪

♪ I know you've always been near ♪

♪ Whispering secrets I know I'm not supposed to hear ♪

♪ Hold your heart with two hands ♪

♪ Give it to me only to disappear ♪

♪ And look how low I've sunk ♪

♪ Don't ask me to rise ♪

♪ I'll lose you when I'm high ♪

[exhales deeply]

Hi, um...

...I need an emergency appointment for today, please.

So, did something happen at the dinner party?

It seemed to be going so well.

Uh...

Dr Burrows, the dinner party was a sham.

I am, like, the most depressed I've been in years, and...

I thought I could A Beautiful Mind myself out of it,

but one thing I didn't factor in was,

that dude was, like, a Nobel Prize-winning genius,

and he, like, invented maths or something.

I wish I could think my way out of bipolar disorder.

I wish I could, like, use a meditation app,

or go for a walk, or have an expensive vitamin regime

and be grand, but I can't.

Uh... I need lithium, because without it, I might die,

and... it might not seem like it, right now, but, um...

...I don't wanna die.

I don't wanna die.

DR BURROWS: So, then...

Sorry, it's-- uh, your dose, what was it?

[stutters] It was, uh, 1500mg.

Something like that, yeah.

[Dr Burrows breathes deeply]

[calming music plays]

Being a psychiatrist seems really hard. [chuckles]

I couldn't do it.

[door shuts]

Packed full of lithium once more, like a sad battery.

My beautiful sad battery.

What happened to Will? Did he go into a coma?

What?

Will, is he OK?

Oh, yeah, no, he's-- Yeah, he's fine.

Oh, my God, you shagged Jonah.

What? No, I didn't.

Yes, you did!

Oh, Eddie.

Why did you do that?

You need monitoring.

Oh, Maggie.

["Not" by Big Thief playing]

♪ It's not the energy reeling ♪

♪ Nor the lines in your face ♪

♪ Nor the clouds on the ceiling ♪

♪ Nor the clouds in space ♪

♪ It's not the phone on the table ♪

♪ Nor the bed in the earth... ♪