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Choir: J“ gaudeamus igitur

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j“ here's to Alma mater

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j“ gaudeamus igitur

j“ raise we then our joyous shout

j“ here's to all you gathered here

j“ here's to all our comrades dear

j“ may they leave us never

j“ may they leave us neverj'

J“ reason is the only way

j“ to change what we're creating

j“ but reason sometimes turns into

j“ another word for waiting

j“ oh stop, I don't wanna hear it

j“ no, I don't wanna hear it anymore

J“ you keep right on talking

j“ but I don't wanna hear it

j“ no, I don't wanna hear it anymore

j“ now all the things that you defend

j“ are what you hide behind

j“ well, you sing yourself to sleep each night

j“ by saying everything takes time

j“ oh stop, I don't wanna hear it

j“ no, I don't wanna hear it anymore

J“ you keep right on talking

j“ but I don't wanna hear it

j“ no, I don't wanna hear it anymore j“

What is it this time, rossiter?

Don't tell me our president can't read.

Dr Tyler, rossiter's group and Hudson afro

have occupied this hall to present, um...

Twelve demands.

I'll hear them when you leave the building.

And we'll state them when you leave the campus.

Buzz off, Tyler. Pack up your dishrags, and go!

I'm shocked. Really shocked.

I mean, we all are.

Never in my wildest dreams...

Did you expect this, Dean Cooper?

Well, these demonstrations have been a terrible strain.

President Tyler has a heart condition.

His wife... well, there it is:

The president's resignation is final.

Tyler made some promises to the students last term,

and we haven't done everything he said we'd do.

Well, we are the trustees.

Why don't we hit them with a quick burst of discipline?

Why don't we try to focus on the real problem?

We need someone to deal with these students.

Oh, Dean, didn't you mention the students had drawn up a list?

Of sorts.

Can we hear it?

Yes. I'm curious to know who the hell they do respect.

- "Che Guevara." - my god!

Oh, they know he's dead.

Who's the second choice?

"Eldridge cleaver."

Why do we just sit here and take this?

They're just out to bug the establishment.

Anybody else?

"Paco Perez."

- Who? - Dean Cooper: Fwj Perez.

- Hewlett: Our own sociology man? - Dean Cooper: Yes.

Why is he on that oddball list? He's a very noted scholar.

He's also a very noted oddball.

And a radical.

Sure. Some of this faculty is farther out than the students.

Gentlemen, I do feel compelled to mention one other factor.

Perez likes undergraduates.

What's wrong with that?

I mean, he likes undergraduates.

Do you mean sexually?

Sexually, yes.

Boys or girls?

Well, girls, of course. I mean, paco...

Ah, look... To be perfectly fair, the, er...

Current lady is not an undergraduate.

She's, um... twenty-five

and a graduate student in sociology.

Well, it could be worse, couldn't it, gentlemen?

And a man's private life, after all, is his own business.

Business. Yes, in business. But a university president?

An acting president.

Gentlemen, face facts. We're in trouble.

And this is the man who can reach the students.

Rhoda: Mmm. Mmm.

- All right, I'd better... - Oh, paco...

I gotta answer the phone. Now cool it, cool it.

Where's the phone?

Oh, I don't know.

Oh, god...

- Hey! - Huh?

Pull your gut in, will ya?

How's that, baby?

I'm coming!

Okay, okay!

Oh, for god's sakes.

Where the hell is it?

It's me.

George who?

Oh. Ha. Hello, Dean.

What does he want at this hour?

Yeah, well... What is it, George?

A meeting?

What, right now?

But George, it's...

It's past midnight.

- Tell him to shove it. - Will you shut up!

What? Yeah.

Oh, yeah. I see.

Okay, Georgie, just hang in there.

I'm sorry, honey, I have to go.

A meeting at this hour.

What was that all about?

I don't know. Some kind of emergency.

Man, you really are a fake.

What the hell does that mean?

The second he gets a call from the Dean,

the big non-conformist, the independent thinker,

hops lickety-split over to the Dean's office.

"Lickety-split"?

Lickety-split. Where do you get your vocabulary?

I'll wait up for you.

If I'm not too late.

Will you put on your pants?

This better be important, gentlemen.

I was in the midst of a project.

It is, paco. I believe you know most everyone.

Oh, I believe so. Hello, reverend.

- Welcome. - Thank you, sir.

- Brown. - Mr brown.

- Please sit down, dr Perez. - Don't call me that.

- You are a phd? - I still don't like to be called "doctor".

It only flatters my dentist.

Well, what is it, fellas?

They've taken over the administration building again.

Who?

Dean Cooper: Friends of yours. Rossiter's group and Hudson afro.

Together? Well, that's... That's fantastic.

Paco, we need you badly.

Uh-huh.

Okay. Well, er... perhaps it's due to

the essentially anti-cybernetic nature of the academic institution.

Amen, brother.

That's why you called right? To give you the, er... the jargon?

Paco, twerhasreaned.

Hmm.

He meant well, didn't he?

So you want me to explain the, er... Dynamics of his failure?

- No, paco. - Perez: Oh, come on, George.

It's the classic response of the paper liberal.

"Oh, professor kenniston or riesman or Perez, tell us where we went wrong!"

But professor...

Er, look, don't cop-out with consultations.

Put some backbone in your leadership, for Christ's sakes. Excuse me.

That's why we want you to take over.

Now who the hell thought of that?

They did. The students.

It was their first demand.

Oh, che, eh?

Well, what's the matter with eldridge cleaver?

Oh, come on, professor, this is a serious situation.

Yes, I know it is, sir, and I... I feel for you.

Let me remind you, professor, these are anarchists.

Their avowed intent is to destroy society.

No, sir. They are revolutionaries, but basically they're students

fighting to find out who they are so they can function in this damn place.

They can shut down this damn place. The computer's in that building.

What did we do before we had computers?

Hewlett: Bravo.

Er... gentlemen, er... Really, I'm flattered, but I'm...

I'm sure that you don't want me.

You know, I want to remind you that I was

with the students in that chemical sit-in.

Paco, you're constantly writing about social action,

solving conflicts between groups.

- George, that's... - Take studies of alienation.

- What's that? - That's my book.

It just came out in paperback.

Either you believe what you've written, or you don't.

We've got to blow the whistle on these kids.

What do you mean, "blow the whistle"?

I mean it's you or the police.

Sir, one thing you never do on a college campus,

and I say "never",

is to call in the police.

We don't want the police here any more then you do.

That's why we're asking you to accept.

Surely even a sociologist feels some obligation to the university?

Sir, my obligation is to teach.

Dean Cooper: You know rossiter. You speak his language.

They'll listen to you, paco.

It could avoid a great deal of trouble.

Gentlemen, I'm not the type to be the president.

Acting president.

Who knows what type is supposed to be president these days?

You've got a point, sir.

This is fwj Perez.

Er... will you please call my housekeeper,

and tell her I'll be home, um...

Lickety-split.

J“ nothing reaches me

j“ only your love.

J“ baby, can't you see

j“ I need your love

j“ I need you all night long

j“ I need it all night long

-j' I need your love j“ -chorus: J“ la la la la, [need your love j“

-Chris Morgan: J“ all night long j“ -chorus: J“ la la la la, [need your love j“

Chris Morgan: J“ and if you do what you know you should

j“ I'm gonna make you feel

j“ so good

j“ all night long... j“

come on, these are confidential student records.

Oh, I just want to see if rossiter's IQ is higher than mine.

Wait a minute, wait a minute.

It is.

Well, at least I'm better in bed.

Don't bet on it.

You know, it's really curious

how fast you went for power and glory.

What power and glory?

I bet you even go out and buy a tie.

Well, what do you think I am?

You think you're fwj Perez,

eminent...

Social...

Scientist.

That's what it says in who's who, kiddo.

Yeah, but they don't see behind the phony faculty front.

What the hell does that mean?

It means that you're a fifty-year-old Fanny-pincher

about to discover that the one thing better than sex

is power.

Listen, I've written four books on social action.

I just want to see if my theories work.

They won't.

They will.

And why not?

You're working for the board of trustees now.

You're part of the establishment.

Oh, Christ! That again, huh?

I see you without your pyjamas.

I'm your link with reality, mr Perez.

Mmm. That's not reality, honey. That's flab.

Flab is reality.

Admit it, you pompous ass.

You're snowed with yourself.

You'll probably have it on billboards all over Spanish Harlem.

Esa es una idea.

Perez. Presidente.

Come on. I'm bushed.

J“ for every smile in the world

j“ there's someone out there cryin'

j“ and each time something is born

j“ there's something dyin'

j“ still the river keeps on flowin'

j“ but we don't know what we're doin'

j“ and we don't know where we're goin'

j“ for every sunny sky

j“ there's a sky that's grey with warning

j“ and in the darkest night

j“ somewhere it's morning

j“ still the wind keeps on blowin'

j“ and we don't know what it is

j“ and we don't know where we're goin' j“

All right, you guys. Open up.

Good morning, president

ah, mr president to you.

Yeah, well, what are you bringing?

An open mind.

Hey, paco!

I'll try, gang.

Look what the revolution brought in!

Okay, okay.

I see you've been doing your homework, huh?

Well, how've you been, rossiter?

Same old pain in the university ass, I guess.

Oh, the wages of leadership, huh?

Well, don't I need a chair?

Oh, thank you, thank you.

Aah! Hiya Ben. Gary.

Well, I see a lot of familiar faces around.

I understand you have, er... Some demands?

Yeah. And you'll get yours.

Male student: You're not going to like this.

Well, state your case,

we'll shake the Hudson tree till the apples come down.

Hey, here are the apples.

All twelve.

An even dozen, huh?

Well? How about it?

Dempsey, I am no speed-reader.

Yeah, that's good... That's good...

Boy, we could use that.

Twenty inner city scholarships.

University investment programme... I couldn't agree with you more.

No military research.

Well, nothing wrong with them apples.

Hey.

Oh, Harry, here's a... Here's a good one.

That... that's a funny one,

I mean, you guys got a sense of humour, huh?

I mean, how can we get a black trustee

when we haven't really got any black graduates, huh?

It won't be easy, will it?

No, it won't.

Well look, I'll lay it on the board.

I think we can bat about five hundred, maybe even seven-fifty.

Nobody bats higher than that nowadays.

Rossiter: Except you, paco.

Succinct, but not relevant.

Er... any more questions?

- Yeah. - W hat?

You haven't said anything about the last three demands.

Oh... what, er... You mean, er...

About students' rights to hire and fire faculty,

student trustees, abolish formal courses?

Boy, you'd put a lot of professors out of work, you know.

Dempsey: Oh, come on!

There are a lot of old half-steppers on this faculty

that should have been out of business twenty years ago.

- Male student: Right on! - Nothing personal, I hope, fellas.

Well, look, I'll lay it on the board. What else can I do?

Rossiter: Hey, paco. How come you took this job?

Well, how come you asked for me?

Because I didn't think you'd take the job.

I must say, I surprised myself.

I only hope I won't, er... Disappoint you.

I hope not, too.

Okay. See you around.

This is absurd.

For Christ's sake, it's wild.

Don't they know that some of these things are impossible?

Oh, I think so.

Well, let me say straight out that I am no bigot

and I've got the brotherhood awards to prove it,

but don't they realise that we just can't come up with a black trustee?

That's probably one of the "wild" points.

- No, I already tested them on that one. - And?

They didn't budge.

Where does that leave us?

- With larabee of rutland. - I beg your pardon?

Samuel larabee, ma, '56.

Say, I remember him. He was black.

George, he still is.

What's this tired old line about our supporting racism in South Africa?

Well, the university owns some stock

in several companies that do business there.

They've, er... They've named the firms.

Well, listen, I've got shares in Frederick and gardner myself.

They make paper.

I think maybe they sell some of their bathroom tissue in South Africa.

What am I supposed to do?

Well, that's up to your conscience, mr brown.

They're only demanding that the university not support, er... racism.

Toilet paper?

Vveh, yeah.

Suppose we, um... Promise to re-examine our portfolio?

Well, that sounds reasonable.

Do I sense a rather provocative tone in numbers ten, eleven and twelve?

Provocative tone?

The students bouncing faculty? Granting degrees?

Well, that's already happened at several schools, you know.

They want to run the show.

I think you get the gist of it.

Listen, we can't let these radicals take over.

Rossiter's an obvious commie.

Oh, my god, mr Perry, that's not the Chinese red guard sitting up there!

Just a minute, mr Perez,

I think I have a special right to speak, because, and it's no secret,

there's been no more loyal supporter of this institution than yours truly.

Christ, I've endowed chairs in subjects I can hardly pronounce.

Well, what's your point, mr brown?

My point is that I will not see this place turned over

to a bunch of adolescent troublemakers.

Now, if this is going to be a "student power" situation,

you can damn well look for your support elsewhere.

You mean financial support?

To put it bluntly.

You know, mr brown, that's like the man who tells his son,

"you do it my way. I'm your father, and I pay the bills."

That's amateur psychology, mr Perez.

No, I'm no amateur, mr brown.

Rev blauvelt: Gentlemen, may I point out that we approached dr Perez,

if your dentist will permit you the title,

precisely because he was in touch with the issues.

Now paco,

I'd like to know how you personally feel about these final three demands.

Yeah.

Yeah.

- Well, look... - They're outrageous.

Look, you can label them anything you want,

but this is the voice of the students

and they deserve to be listened to, and... and discussed.

Well, you can tell mr rossiter and his gang, in their own language,

that I think number nine is the frontier to freaksville.

Mr brown, we're reaching new frontiers every day.

Just as we're sitting here, the world is changing around us.

What do you want from us, paco?

Gentlemen, I, er... I want some leeway.

- Well, that seems to be fair. - You can't have carte blanche!

Mr Perry, you asked me to negotiate.

Then let me negotiate the final round.

Isn't that why we appointed him?

We'll stand behind your decision, mr Perez.

Thank you, mr hewlett.

But for Christ's sake, hold them at number nine.

Estella!

- (; Que pasa? - Estoy bien.

- En veras? - Si.

Se queria llamar, pero estado muy ocupado.

No he tenido tiempo.

No te preocupes.

Tengo mi estudio se. Dasi asi, no?

- Te cortaste El pelo. - Si.

Dpuedo ver?

- Me gusta. - Gracias.

Cuidate.

Tu tambien. Saludos a la familia, geh?

Gracias.

Mccurdy: Hump-da-Dee-Dee out there!

Hump-da-Dee-Dee!

Now, come on now, shake it. Get your ass into it!

Move the sled.

Hey, Williams, keep your people moving in there.

Hump-da-Dee-Dee out there! Hump-da-Dee-Dee!

- Hello, mccurdy. - Hi, paco.

- Hey, they look good. - They're a fine bunch of boys.

So, paco, they've handed off the greasy pig to you.

I love your phraseology, mccurdy.

Well, we're not fools down at this end, paco.

Come on, Arthur, give me some hustle and muscle!

I want some power in there! Hudson power!

You were saying, paco?

No, no, you... you called my office. So I responded by showing up.

Don't think I don't appreciate it, paco.

I only hope I can help you out.

Well, you can start by letting me know why you called.

Williams, I told you to move those people, now get 'em moving in there!

Come on, hump-da-Dee-Dee!

Give me some Hudson power, will ya?

Oh, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, what?

Yeah, I know your situation inside and out.

Oh, outside you've got the mass mediums,

just itching to pounce on this sordid kind of Hudson scandal,

termites in the ivory tower kind of thing.

And inside, you've got a motley crew of unwashed shaggies.

And they have no values, those kids.

No ethics, no morals, and no decency.

And no school spirit.

They're not fans of yours either, you know.

More's the pity, paco.

A few calisthenics might firm up that soft generation.

Well, that's what they are, you know.

- Hank... - Yeah, they're soft.

The goldarned parents have raised those kids on dr Spock.

Oh, you know about dr Spock, huh?

Oh, we're not out of touch at this end, paco.

I consider myself an educator, too.

In my humble way, I'm teaching these boys to have values.

- To have morals. - And to take showers.

Every single day.

Well... well, keep up the good work, mccurdy.

Oh, wait, paco. You haven't heard my plan.

I'm... I'm sorry.

Well? Well, shoot.

- You feel free, paco. - Feel free?

Feel free to call upon this end

to send our people in to clean that place out.

Now, lots of my people, and I mean offensive and defensive,

lots of them feel pretty strongly about this maggots-in-the-cheese sort of thing.

And we'd like to keep it in the family.

- You follow me? - Oh, in... in essence. Yes.

Good. Well, you know where I'm at, paco. Huh?

I certainly do, mccurdy.

H ump-da-Dee-Dee with the coffee in there!

Rhoda: All right, all right. What's eating you?

What I'm eating is eating me.

This is unworthy of a university president.

So next year, hump a home economics major.

- I tried. - And?

The food is good, but the talk is lousy.

Are you going to wear that outside?

Oh, you're embarrassed. Ha!

- You're funny. - Yeah.

Mmmm.

How come you never got married?

Same reason you never did.

Can't even let your hair down for a second, can you?

All right. Well, I was too involved with my work.

Too involved to get involved?

Sort of.

Well, wasn't there somebody sometime?

Yeah.

Yeah, what?

Yeah, there was.

So now you know.

You know what I think that your generation suffers from?

No. Please tell me.

You keep everything locked up. You're defensive about everything.

Too many no-nos.

Perez: Hmm.

Your whole professional life deals

with the development of the self,

and you completely neglect your own.

May I remind you that you are who you are

and that I am fwj Perez?

Listen, fwj Perez,

what did you do for sex before you were famous, hmm?

Is this, er... relevant?

Mm-hmm

from what I understand,

your "activities" increased in proportion to your bibliography.

Well, er...

What did you do before you were published? Huh?

I, er... saved it up.

- You know, I believe it. - Mmm.

I even believe that paco Perez is a virgin.

Oh, my god!

It's only the "fwj" part of you that gets laid!

Er... do me a favour, will you?

Spend a little less time on my head

and a little more time on my digestive system, huh?

- Rhoda: Oh, paco? - Yeah?

I'm writing my 131 term paper on

"technological pressures on personality development".

Christ, what a pompous title for ten pages.

Twenty. Listen, what should I read?

Er... read, er... Talcott Parsons.

Well, what specifically?

Social system, structure and, er... process.

Um... can you give me the gist?

Listen, do I have to do your homework for you?

Listen, do I have to do your housework for you?

Well, we'll have a drink later and discuss it. Around nine.

- What'll I do till then? - Er... read talcott Parsons.

You're going to see rossiter, aren't you?

- Yeah. - Suppose he won't listen?

I'll send you in to cook for him.

See ya.

And do me a favour.

Put on a bra, will you?

Student: Yeah, operator. London, england. 325-8311.

They haven't disconnected the phones yet.

Better talk fast.

Er... charge that to professor Walter Allen.

Hey, rossiter, have you heard from the man yet?

Lippy: Hey, man, I don't care what anyone says.

I don't believe in god,

and I don't believe america is the centre of the universe.

Good.

You can get away with not believing in one of those,

but not both.

- Hey, rossiter... - Yeah?

- How long will this 90? - All the way.

- I mean, how long? - As long as it takes, man.

Hey, listen, man, it's got to be over by Saturday.

Why?

Because I got a date coming down from Smith.

Oh, hurt me, hurt me.

Oh, I love that commitment.

Hey, hey. Don't mention ass around the under-privileged.

- So who's under-privileged? - Me.

Why is the good ass never radical, and the radical ass never good?

- Huh? - Present ass excluded, jan.

I beg your pardon?

Hey, Evans, come on! Desegregate yourself.

We promise not to rape you.

Marya, baby.

Hello, group.

Hey, hello, professor. How are things in the real world?

I thought you guys were the real world.

I was coming to ask you. Ha!

Did you lay it on the board?

Oh, very heavy, and in no uncertain terms.

I'd love to have a tape recording of that scene.

It's got to be the comedy album of the year.

Yeah. Well, their hearts are in the right place.

But not their balls. They got empty scrotes.

I notice the vocabulary of the revolution is somewhat, er... groin-orientated.

- Hey, paco. - Perez: Mmm?

- What's happened? - Yeah.

Well, I, er... ifelt around, I sounded out, and, gentlemen,

I think I can deliver points one through nine.

- One through nine? - Yeah.

I had a feeling you were going to cop out on those last three demands.

What cop out? The board agreed on nine points.

And you know that impossible one about the black trustee? We got one.

How black?

- What? - He said, how black?

Hey, hey! Talk English.

Like, is this cat an oreo cookie?

- Like, is he schooled for the brothers? - How black?

What do you want, a skin sample? A pigment count? Huh?

Dempsey: What we do not want is a real live nephew to my uncle Tom.

- Yes, I know. - So who is this dude?

Samuel larabee, ma, '56.

- Never heard of him. - He teaches education at rutland state.

- Rutland state? - Yes, rutland state.

- Why only an ma, professor? - What do you mean, why only an ma?

I mean, isn't it usual at Hudson to follow a master's with a doctorate?

- Yes, it is. I... - So, what's the problem with mr larabee?

- Hudson racism, maybe. - Now, Steve, Steve...

- Did he write a dissertation? - Yes, he did.

And?

It was lousy.

Paco, how does it feel to be a member of the establishment?

You know, I've been fighting the establishment for thirty years.

I still don't know what the hell it means.

Maybe because it's you.

Steve, it's Samuel larabee,

or nothing.

We'll take nothing.

The hell we will.

I beg your pardon?

Are you the black spokesman here?

Dempsey, when we went in, we agreed on twelve demands.

Dempsey: I'll be damned if I'll let 'em put some dumb nigger on that board

so you can bat a thousand.

It's not me, man, it's the movement.

I... I don't think you understand.

Will you dig this cat!

He gets a sniff of tear gas at people's park,

and already he's robespierre.

Mm-hmm.

You don't seem to know your ass from your elbow about revolution.

I know you'll have one on your hands if you don't let me handle this.

- You'd better believe it. - For real.

Gentlemen, I hate violence.

Just let me know when you decide, huh?

Look, a black admissions officer. It'll help with recruitment.

Now, is that possible?

Yeah, it's possible.

Okay, then. We change number eight to read "a black admissions officer."

All right, robespierre?

All right.

Have you got somebody in mind for the job?

All picked out.

How black?

Well, how black is Steve?

That could be pretty funny.

What do you mean?

Well, if you can trust Stephen dempsey,

as of now, he's your demand number eight.

Cool move, professor.

Congratulations.

Yeah, thanks.

Perez: Okay, now that's decided?

Now, ladies and gentlemen, er... about...

Ten, eleven, and twelve, maybe?

Ten: We want something to say about the hiring and firing of faculty.

Eleven: We want something to say about the granting of degrees.

Twelve: We want a whole new deal on the curriculum.

Something that's, er... Relevant to now.

Robespierre, we're supposed to be negotiating.

We didn't use that verb.

Paco, the word was "demand".

Sam, that's not very intelligent.

Rossiter: I wish demands could be negotiable, paco.

They can't be, and be intelligent.

How can you negotiate ghettos, or nerve gas?

Ah, come on, you guys.

I mean, let's not wage the whole social revolution in one sitting, huh?

I mean, we... we can start a... a dialogue, a...

The university, the whole system is corrupt. And you know it.

Then let's change it. Let's not destroy it.

It's too late, man. To build from the bottom up,

you start with a new foundation, right?

What, you mean dynamite everything?

Mmm. Like the good builders do.

Yeah, but they don't blow up the people inside.

I don't see any people.

Rossiter, that's precisely your problem.

You don't see people.

Look, we do have a few neanderthals on the board,

and I'm going to do my best now, but...

Just where do we stand, huh?

I hear you're a lousy lay, Perez.

Rhoda Greene's told everybody you're a lousy lay.

Oh, god.

J“ when I get to feeling

j“ like a worn-out shoe

j“ I get it all together

j“ when I get home to you

j“ when I get home to you

J“ seems I'm always losing

j“ all my plans fall through

j“ and yet I feel so lucky

j“ when I get home to you

-j' when I get home to you j“ -well, come on, smartass.

- Hey, Henry. - Hello, mr president.

- What are you made up for? - Ah, just exercising.

- My wife said she was a blonde. - Yeah.

Look, I came down here to ask you something.

Shoot

well, it's about, er... Evacuating a building.

- Call allied Van and storage. - I'm talking about people, Henry.

Getting people out of a building.

Alive or dead?

Christ, Thatcher, you have a morbid imagination.

Well, paco, my answer depends on your answer.

Alive. A group of undergraduates, alive and kicking.

Kicking. Kicking whom?

Now look, you go on playing dumb, you're going to have me convinced.

All right, let's just say, er... Alive.

But you do imply they're not willing to leave.

No... I just, er... maybe.

I mean, how would you do it, you know, peacefully?

No way.

Henry, Henry. You're supposed to be a... a pro.

That's exactly why I'm telling you. No way.

I'll get a real expert.

Are you implying that I'm a fake expert?

Well, somebody smart should be able to pull it off.

- Well, Houdini is dead. - Well, I'll find somebody.

I'm sure you will.

I promise you he'll tell you,

if you want a sure-fire peaceful evacuation,

call allied Van and storage.

Perez: Now cut it out, will you? Will you slow down?

Come on now, easy I'iow.

Who was that guy?

My connection. I was getting a fix.

Come on, you don't even inhale when you lick a postage stamp.

Listen, I don't have to tell you everything, you know.

- You'd be better off if you did. - Ahhh.

- Hey, let's go for pizza! - Pizza.

- Er... Chinese? - Chinese.

- Okay, um... Casey's for suds, huh? - Negative.

Where, then?

Home.

Bed?

Eventually.

What does "eventually" mean?

It means you sometimes forget I'm over fifty years old.

Oh, I never forget that.

It's this damn exercising. You're wearing yourself out.

Why add a hernia to your other problems?

Listen, how many guys my age do you know in the shape I'm in?

I don't know many guys your age.

It's clear, basic, and elemental.

Move them out of the building.

We might form a committee to consider strong faculty recommendation.

The important thing is to preserve the university at all costs.

- Define those terms. - Which?

"Preserve, university, costs".

Well, a university is a sanctuary for the free exchange of ideas.

That's the medieval notion.

Well, it starts with Plato, actually.

It's archaic, ancient, and irrelevant.

Semantically acceptable.

I'd move them out of the building.

Englishman: If a concept lasted so long, it must be valid.

Res ipso loquitur.

Sophistry. The university establishment is mired in tradition.

Isn't tradition what makes a university great?

- Define "great". - Define "tradition".

Define "definition".

Er... perhaps a committee of department heads

to appoint a committee to recommend faculty action.

These kids are 100% right.

As a faculty, we are paralysed by definitions,

caught in a quagmire of rhetorical quicksand.

To use their vernacular, the world is burning and we're flaming.

Semantically unacceptable.

But why must we be ipso facto the culprits?

Why must the onus fall on us?

Because we're culpable, reprehensible, and quintessentially at fault.

You may have something there.

Pipe-smoker: Thank you, dr Perez.

Well, I'd like to point out

that no-one from the school of engineering is sitting in up there.

It's the English and psych people that make all the trouble.

- Absolutely. - Dr Perez?

Miss vickers.

You will keep talking to them, won't you?

- That's what a university is, isn't it? - I'm afraid so.

A committee to appoint a committee.

False logic. Tautological and casuistic.

Universitas nostra gloriosa conservanda non delenda.

No engineers sitting in up there.

We're absentee slumlords in the ghetto of the mind.

Semantically acceptable and unacceptable.

You will keep talking, won't you, dr Perez?

Miss vickers, I will talk till my wazoo goes limp.

All right, we've exhausted numbers one through nine.

And believe me, they've exhausted me.

Now, I'd, er...

I'd like to say a few words about the next three demands.

-Now, rossiter and company, -student: Yeah!

Perez: Claiming to speak for all of you,

want the students to have powers like, er...

Firing the faculty.

They deny that a teacher just might know more than a freshman,

because "all men are equal".

Well, er..., all men are equal in a state of nature.

But this is not a state of nature.

This is a civilised society

and "civilisation" implies certain rules, certain limits,

and damn it, the acknowledgment of some authority.

Now, the job of a university is to seek the truth.

And we get there by making value judgements.

Now, value judgements imply values.

Now, if we do have values,

then everything or everybody can't be equal,

not in the simplistic sense they argue for,

or we'd have chaos.

Now, what they call freedom, I call chaos.

Students: Yeah!

Thank you. Thank you.

Now, John Dewey,

and you can see how that dates me...

Well, anyway, he was... He was my spiritual mentor.

But he sure as hell had a sense of what education was all about.

And he said, "the measure of a civilisation

"is the degree to which co-operative intelligence replaces brute force."

Now, I... I'd like to repeat that again.

"The measure of a civilisation is the degree to which

"co-operative intelligence replaces brute force."

Now, at point number ten, I think, for all of us,

education is on the line.

Point number ten is the time to stop confronting

and start co-operating.

And now we come down to the gut question.

- Do you want a university? - Students: Yes!

- I... I didn't hear you. - Students: Yes!

- Come on, louder. - Yes!

- Let's hear it again. - Yes!

- Tell it to them! - Yes!

- Tell them! - Yes!

Hey, it's really kind of weird, isn't it?

I mean...

I mean, how bad all that sheer demagoguery, huh?

You know, Mussolini was also great with crowds, paco.

No, they voted. The majority voted.

The majority is afraid to commit.

It's five percent who start a revolution.

Remember that one, paco?

We're the little pebbles who end up making all those great big waves.

Yeah. And you all really think it's that simple, huh?

Well, tell me, is there any basis on which we can start a...

A reasonable discussion?

Ten, eleven and twelve.

Now, Sam, you know that if you got ten, eleven and twelve,

you'd still come up with thirteen, right?

And fourteen and fifteen, paco.

The revolution of rising expectations.

You just want to make, er...

Big waves at any cost, huh?

Paco's starting to flame like the rest of them.

Every time he opens his mouth, all I hear is, "oink, oink."

Oink, oink, oink, oink...

Steve, can I talk to the afro guys alone?

Wait a minute, paco.

Dempsey: Mr rossiter, I'm capable of handling myself with dr Perez.

Just... maintain.

Er... shall we, er...

No. Say what you have to say to all of us.

Look, I know what you guys have been through.

I know what you guys want...

Come on, man, get off it.

You wrote the books. That's not "knowing".

Nowadays it's very chic to talk "ghetto".

Look, don't you give me that.

You know, I grew up in east Harlem, when, er...

Afros and hispanos were still called niggers and spics.

You know, when I was a kid

I was lucky to have a college floor to scrub,

much less to sit-in on.

Various: Heartbreaking story, paco.

- That's a real crusher, man. - Just like daddy.

- What key would you like to hear? - Ladies and gentlemen,

tell me, do you really think life has changed that much?

I mean, are things really so different?

Honestly, I really would like to understand.

I mean, can somebody explain it to me?

I can't explain it to him.

Hey, can you explain it to him?

Hmm, no, I can't explain it. Can you?

It would take till the twelfth of never.

Well... oh, mr rossiter, will you oblige?

Mr Perez, I can't.

Steve, I want you to consider

the gains you've made in points one through nine.

Now, I'm asking you not to blow it.

I'm asking you to walk out right now.

Rossiter: Well, say now.

How about that, Stephen?

Do you really trust Perez?

You show me a black man who trusts any white man,

and I'll show you a black man who should be in a mental institution.

Well, then, you can't trust rossiter.

You know, I trust him more that I trust you.

Why is that, Steve?

Well, rossiter's pretty freaky,

but at least he's straight with us.

Name one instance when I wasn't straight with you.

Right now. You're trying to split us,

and man, that is such an old trick.

No, I'm... i'm... I'm not trying to split you.

I'm just asking you to listen to reason.

You should revise your textbooks, professor.

Today's black man doesn't cop out

as soon as his personal ass is sitting on silk.

We're in this together.

Students: Right on!

I... I... I really don't understand.

I'm suddenly being treated like I don't know where it's at.

Do you?

I want to remind you my name is Franklin Perez.

Oh, big deal.

Yes, thank you. Thank you very much.

But don't forget, I told you.

Yesterday.

Past tense.

Now look, don't hang that "discarded liberal" rap on me.

I still know where it's at.

- Maybe you're not there any more. - Right.

Male student: Clean out your locker, paco.

Marya: Your fly is open, professor.

Why don't you just shove it, uncle paco?

You know, for three days I've been dealing in good faith.

And all I've got in exchange

is a shower of verbal garbage straight off toilet walls.

Now, I can sympathise with protest.

I... I can understand hostility and rage,

but I cannot...

I cannot tolerate total stupidity!

Now you people, you've... You've stopped thinking.

- You've turned off your minds. - Male student: Up yours!

Hang it up, grandpa.

Multiple students: Yeah.

And you want to run a university?

Well, all right, as far as I'm concerned you can all sit.

You can all sit on your asses

till the, er... The twelfth of never.

Me! They said it to me!

Christ, rhoda, I was "with it" long before

those little bastards knew whether they were overcoming or overgoing!

- Shhh... - Don't... now, don't "shhh" me.

I marched for the textile workers union!

I mean, I... I fought against Franco.

And I had no lousy job security when I spoke out against McCarthy.

You spoke against McCarthy?

Oh, the... the... The bad McCarthy.

- That's before you were born. - Mmm... that, again.

Yeah, yeah, that again.

You know, you snotnoses, you don't want to hear about anything

that happened before a week ago last, er... Tuesday.

Casey, another.

You know, I was... I was marching and fighting.

I was... I was speaking and working

before any rossiter-come-iatelies were even born.

Well, as far as I'm concerned,

they can sit on their ass up there for ever.

God...

Goddamnit.

Did you ever say I was a lousy lay?

- What? - Did you?

That's all right, if you...

I might have thought it, but I never said it. Why?

Never mind.

You want another drink?

Uh-uh. Neither do you.

- You know what, honey? - What?

I am a fake.

Come on, paco.

Ah, they should farm me out to teach freshman at, er...

Weehauken high school.

You're fwj. Big-time professor.

The only thing I can profess is the inability to...

To reach these kids.

They're right.

What they want is right.

But somebody has to teach them they can't get what they want

by doing what they're doing.

But they're just sitting.

And you said they can sit forever.

Yeah.

But I know they won't.

Perez: J“ Hudson u, I love you

j“ hump-de-Dee-Dee! Hump-de-Dee-Dee!

J“ Hudson u... j“ you drive, huh?

- I can't drive. - What do you mean, you can't?

- What... what do you major in? - Sociology.

- Sociology? - Yeah.

Now what the hell good is that?

You should have chosen something relevant,

like auto mechanics.

- Well there's no such major. - Oh, there isn't?

Well, you just call rossiter and he'll demand it.

He'll have a mechanics major right over.

A black auto mechanics major,

who's also a trustee, on a scholarship from South Africa.

I'm calling a cab.

Hey! Paco Perez doesn't take cabs.

- How about the university president? - Yeah, what about him?

- You. - Yeah, me.

Not the way you're acting.

Well, I'm, er... I'm only acting president.

You get it?

Ah, come on, get on.

- Oh, you're going to kill us. - No, I hate violence.

- Rhoda: Hey, where are you going? - Perez: Short cut!

- Perez: Damn it, you leaned the wrong way. - Rhoda: Oh, it figures.

- Er... you all right? - Yeah.

- Student: Professor Perez? - Rhoda: Oh.

- Who are you? - Mr president, sir?

- That's right. - I have a message from mr rossiter, sir.

I guess I'm not drunk enough. I keep hearing rossiter's name.

- Maybe he's got something for you. - Right. What's the message?

He asked me to deliver this.

Thank you, sir.

What's that?

The blue bird of happiness.

What's this all about, paco?

It's a message from mr rossiter.

No words?

You ought to read Marshall McLuhan. We're in a post-verbal age.

- Is this spool of tape from our computer? - That's right, mr hewlett.

Retail value roughly fifteen dollars, unprogrammed.

If programmed, as this one is, value maybe six hundred dollars.

You mean they're going to wreck that computer?

That's the way I read the message.

That's a two million dollar machine.

Yes, it is.

My god!

Mr Perez, you have no choice.

Do you?

Rhoda's voice: You can't, paco!

You just can't do this.

Look, I can and I did.

Ihean but I can't believe this.

- You said that was the last thing you... - All right, look, it's been a long day,

and I'm bushed, and I'd...

I'd like to get a couple of hours sleep, okay?

Paco, don't do this to me. Please.

Now what the hell has this got to do with you?

Look, my whole life was like a case from one of your textbooks.

My father's a shmuck,

my mother bakes her brains out under the hair dryer,

and their values...

Like they'd die if my brother had burned his draft card

but they're proud as hell, man. Proud,

when he joined up and went off to burn people.

And... and they don't even see a contradiction.

Rhoda, rhoda, must you lay out your whole life?

Yes.

So, I went to two colleges,

not knowing where my head was at, or...

Or where I could even turn to find one simple truth.

And then I came to... to Hudson,

and I took "soc one", and read fwj Perez.

Our own fwj Perez.

I read you.

Not just the book assigned,

but every freaking thing you ever wrote.

- Your goddamn thesis, even. - All right, honey, all right, don't...

What... what are you trying to say, huh?

You... you were like a...

A fixed star for me.

You showed me where I was.

And now the whole campus calls you "paco's pillow."

Oh, I don't give a damn about that.

I don't want to just live with you,

I want to live like you.

And now when I...

When I finally feel that my head is on straight...

Rhoda, there's a bit more involved than just you.

Yeah. There's you.

Yeah, you're right. There is me.

And that's why I won't let rossiter

destroy everything I've believed in for fifty-three years.

What the hell can anyone believe in for fifty-three years?

Oh, that's a good question.

Maybe not much,

but at least I can distinguish between right and wrong,

and I'm not afraid to act.

Why do you have to "act" at all?

Because I have the responsibility.

You see, at my age, I don't have the luxury you have.

I... I can't cop out with theories any more.

Theones?

My god, paco.

Wh... what's more important?

Machinery or people?

You have the audacity to ask me that question?

Anyway... you know, it all boils down to the same old trip.

A wet handkerchief, an open mouth,

vaseline around the eyes, and that's the best way to handle gas.

I mean, there's gotta be tear gas.

Oh yeah, and, er... don't panic.

That's the key thing. Try to stay loose.

I mean, really, really, really loose.

Okay, my friends, that's the sum of just about everything I learned

while getting my ba at Berkeley.

Hey, listen, um...

I'm sorry if I over-hassled some of you guys along the way,

but I... I'm really glad we got in it together.

I mean, everybody knows I'm an irresponsible hothead,

a commie, puking out the silver spoon he was born with.

Yeah, okay. Okay, they can dismiss me as easily as they can expel me.

But, er... what about a nice chick like jan?

Or a guy like matson.

Why would nice kids like that want to hurt somebody else's computer?

Well...

Because you have to put your body on the line sometimes

if you want people to listen.

And maybe if a few people listen,

that'll mean we did it.

We brought it off.

Okay? Okay.

Hey, kid, how do I look?

You look like you're gonna kill 'em.

- Hey, you scared? - Yeah.

You were in a couple of scrapes in Vietnam, for Christ's sake.

Yeah, I didn't like that either.

Yeah, I know these kids.

Some of them are real kooks. You know, kooky.

Yeah.

One night I had Alison dubey, she's one of them.

I had her in the back seat of my car.

Like that, Peter. A pair of knockers like that.

Yeah? What happened?

Well, I was like on the five-yard line, you know?

Yeah.

Then she looked up at me...

Now I swear to god, now she looked up at me and she said:

"Uh-uh, Ricky, not unless you burn your draft card."

Ohhh.

I don't know why in the hell we need all of this equipment for a bunch of kids.

They're not such kids.

And Mel, frankly, if any of your people in there give me guff,

it'll be equal treatment.

I'm sure of that, John.

-Equal -i dig.

Under the law.

Paco...

You're the only one who's ever taught me anything.

Well, I'm grateful.

Then why don't you just settle for the nine points?

You taught me to think for myself, remember?

I mean, that... That's the best thing

any student could ever tell a professor.

Yes, it is.

You're in a hell of a bind.

- I am? - You are.

It's like socrates having to defend the health value of hemlock.

I appreciate the reference to socrates,

but what I'm defending is not exactly poison.

It's a...

An idea of a university in which I...

I deeply believe.

So when you start in about tearing it down, er...

That's when I leave the revolution.

Correction, paco.

That's where the revolution leaves you.

Rossiter, I hate violence.

I grew up in it.

And I don't like it.

People get hurt.

I know that.

Which violence, paco?

The war?

The ghettos?

The machine back there?

You know, it... it depends on where you're sitting, doesn't it?

All right, like... Like smashing these machines.

You know, whenever you destroy anything, for whatever the reason,

the first thing you destroy is yourself.

Unacceptable.

That is a machine.

An object. A thing.

A thing that can send you to jail.

All of you.

Paco, now until we kick them where they feel,

until they feel,

nothing ever happens. Right?

And who's supposed to decide that?

I mean, at least, er...

Joan of arc, she... She heard voices.

I don't hear any voices, paco.

No voices at all.

Paco, some of us are 18,

20, 22, 24 years of age

and we've never heard a sound.

I mean, the silence is deafening.

I agree.

All right, look. Me and my Hiroshima generation,

we failed.

We screwed it up.

At least, for Christ's sakes... Learn from us.

Professor, do you really think we haven't learned from you?

Well, man, the blue meanies are out there.

I know.

Do you also know what happens when blue meets black?

Oh, yeah. You get all black and blue.

That's right. And on colour television.

Front door. I think somebody's coming out.

You told your men "no violence"?

I gave strict orders.

Some of those kids up there are...

They're pretty scared.

So are some of them, paco.

I got some young ones, too.

Paco, I'm going to say something you won't like.

What?

We once had a talk about what you did.

Sociology.

Studying group reactions to different stimulants.

Stimuli. Stimuli.

Stimuli.

You're the expert, paco.

Now you know I did more than just give orders.

They had a two-hour lesson in motivations.

But you also know the other factors.

You tell me.

I can't, Henry.

Then you'd better step over there.

Attention!

- Student: Shut off your bullhorn! - Attention in the building.

This is chief Henry j Thatcher speaking.

You students...

You students are trespassing on university property,

and I have an order for your immediate evacuation.

Thatcher: Repeat.

An order

obtained at the request of the president of this university,

Franklin Perez.

You have three minutes to leave peacefully. Repeat...

We've heard your message, chief Thatcher,

and we want to thank you, sincerely thank you,

for being here today.

Students: Right on!

We've always been told that the university is the bastion of truth.

Well, it sure in hell hasn't been.

And we want to thank you for giving us that proof.

This place is no less corrupt than the world outside.

But their violence is an open fact of life,

and we were numb to it.

And now, thanks to you, chief Thatcher,

and to our noble president,

maybe the citizens of this town,

who are so unmoved by our use of force overseas,

and in our own cities,

maybe they'll wake up when they see hobnail boots in the garden of Eden!

Well, today, at least, we've got the proof.

This is what we are!

Thatcher: Stand back from the window. This is a warning.

- Dr Perez! - Yes, sir.

How in the name of god did you let this thing happen?

I wonder, sir.

Bernstein's mother: Tell me what you ever did for me?

I got bar mitzvahed, for Christ's sake.

I'm sorry, dad. I really am.

Perez: Thatcher?

I'll be with you in a minute, paco.

You simply don't understand.

I understand one thing:

What you need is a good swift kick in the ass.

Who sprung for the bail?

We didn't hear from your family. The university paid for it.

A black admissions officer, right?

That's what I said.

I'll bet that job won't last very long.

Perez: Thatcher, what's the ruling?

It's a mass-arrest deal. They'll all be out on bail.

Good.

- Paco? - Mmm?

You heard about the seven in the receiving hospital?

- Yeah, I heard. - I got four men there, too.

Yeah?

Are you all right?

How do you feel?

Oh, er...

Fifty-three and, er...

Pressing fifty-four.

Yeah.

Well, at least it's over.

Mmm.

I think we can appreciate how you feel, paco.

Hmm.

An unpleasant business.

Yeah.

These bail guarantees need your signature, paco.

Mmm? Oh

Well, look, some of the kids got hurt,

but they're all right. It's not serious.

Do you really think they would have smashed the computer?

It's a hell of a time to ask that question, hewlett.

It was rebellion. Out and out rebellion.

What else could you have done?

Oh, I could have stayed in there with them.

To help them break the computer?

To help them get what they want.

What the hell do they want?

Oh, they...

They want to keep us awake at night.

What's that supposed to mean?

If we can sleep at night with what is happening,

then we accept what is happening.

They won't.

Stay loose, kid.

Choir: J“ gaudeamus igitur

j“ let us in our youth rejoice.

J' gaudeamus igiturj'

J“ none can justly blame us

j“ for when golden youth has fled

j“ and in age our joys are dead

j“ then the dust can claim us

j“ then the dust can claim us j“

J“ you keep right on a-talkin'

j“ but I don't want to hear it

j“ no, I don't want to hear it anymore

j“ no, I don't want to hear it anymore j“

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