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The number you have dialed-
- Oh, come on.
Hello?
- Listen to me carefully.
Get my gun and bring my car around to the park.
- You need some help with that?
- It's okay, I got it.
- I think I better help you.
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.
I got it.
It's not so heavy.
Did I make you nervous?
Is that why you dropped the box?
- Get in the fucking trunk.
- Listen, lady-
- Get in the fucking trunk,
or I'm gonna turn your face into hamburger meat.
- Lady, I touched your hand by accident.
- Get in the fucking trunk!
- Lady, come on.
- Now!
Close it.
Close it all the way.
I'm gonna open the trunk, don't fuck around!
Put the rope around your feet.
- I'm not putting this rope around my feet.
- Take your hands away from your face.
I wanna see you.
- Please.
Please, I have a wife and I have a kid.
- You have a wife and two kids.
Awesome.
Fuck.
- Hey, mom.
How did I know it's you?
Because you're the only one who calls here
at 8 o'clock in the morning.
Yeah, mom, I'm fully aware.
Yeah, the new apartment's great.
Yeah, my boxes are unpacked.
They are!
Okay, some of them are not.
It's going really well.
Yeah, I think they're gonna promote me to manager.
Well, there's a new girl and they want me to train her.
I don't know.
Yeah, I'll tell you all about it tonight, but I gotta go.
Tell the dog I said hi.
I love you too.
Mom, I gotta go.
I do, I do.
Bye, bye, bye-bye, bye, bye.
- Oh, my!
Look at that flower.
Don't we look pretty today?
- Thanks.
- There was a new girl looking for you.
I told her to wait for you in front of room 404.
It's the first one on your list.
- I hope you're Amanda.
This place is gross.
- It's like a cigarette.
At first it's completely repulsive,
then after a while you don't mind it so much.
And in the end you find yourself addicted.
Room service.
You always wanna knock first
to make sure no one's in the room.
People always forget to put the tag on the door.
- Addicted?
- Yeah, to people watching.
The people who come here are total freaks.
Room service!
So the first thing you wanna do is turn the lights on,
then check the bathroom to make sure it's empty,
'cause, you know, sometimes men hide in there.
- What do you mean?
- They wait in there for the maids to come in.
Yeah.
A few years ago, a girl came in to make up a room,
and the bathroom door was open,
kind of like it is now,
and she reached her hand in to turn on the light
without opening the door to check first,
and someone was in there.
And he grabbed her hand and hacked it off.
So, you better check to make sure it's empty.
- Are you serious?
- Yeah, if you wanna survive this place,
it's the first thing you need to do
every single time you go into a room.
- I mean about the lady's hand.
- Just check the bathroom.
I'll get the curtains.
- You asshole!
That's not even funny.
- No one ever lost a hand,
but if some losers have passed out in the bed,
he's definitely passed out in the bathroom,
on top of the toilet or in front,
with his face in it.
I like to start from the furthest corner of the room
and clean my way back to the door.
Can you pull that cart in front of the door?
It keeps people from wandering in.
And make sure it's pulled inwards.
For whatever reason, people really like to steal the soap.
If the comforter's still on, but wrinkled,
we don't bother changing the sheets underneath.
We just straighten out what's on top.
Knock, knock.
- Who's there?
- Fidelio.
- People don't even use most of this stuff,
so basically you just need to straighten it up.
And then, you fold the toilet paper like so,
and it gives people the impression that it's a new role.
And then somehow they don't care
that it's been here for the past six weeks.
Room service.
Always take the tag off the door first.
And now it's off to the next room.
- That's it?
- That's it, all day long.
Over and over and over again.
- Housekeeping.
- As gross as the people who come here are,
they're pretty harmless.
Just a bunch of creeps, either cheating on their wife
or paying a hooker to spend some time with them.
But for the most part they don't wanna be seen here,
so they pretty much keep to themselves.
- So nothing ever weird happens?
- No.
Aside from the occasional fight over money,
some guy feeling like he didn't get his full hour.
A lot of people just try to sneak in and out.
They're really fun to watch.
- Well, it was nice meeting you.
I'll see you tomorrow?
- Tomorrow's my birthday, where else would I be?
- Well, I'm gonna say happy birthday now,
just in case I wake up and forget.
- Thanks.
- You're walking home?
- Yeah.
Well, the bus stop is just up the street.
- How far do you take it?
- Just to the other side of Jefferson.
- Hop in, I'll give you a ride.
- I don't wanna put you out.
- Don't be silly, it's on the way, come on.
- You sure?
- Yeah, get in.
Okay.
You know you can call me on my cellphone, right?
Minutes are unlimited these days.
Well, unless you have one of those pay-as-you-go phones,
and no one uses those, besides terrorists.
No, the new girl's great.
She has a car, so I hope she works out.
I'm kidding.
No.
No, I'm not kidding.
No, she gave me a ride home, it was awesome.
Yeah, I didn't have to take a bus.
Sometimes there's pretty creepy guys on there,
but just when it's late.
I know you worry.
Well, because that's what moms do!
Well, yeah, she's gonna pick me up in the morning.
I'm on the way.
Go on, kill him!
Put down the pistol!
Do as I say, come on!
- Is that the mask that you found yesterday at the motel?
You know, the motel where people pay by the hour.
So were you born in New York?
- I was born in New York, but I grew up in Connecticut.
Probably still be there, if my dad hadn't left.
My mom just kind of lost it,
and I tried to stick around as long as I could,
but she just became too much to handle on a daily basis.
Shit, this is hot.
- What about you?
Are you a real New Yorker?
- Both born and raised.
Yeah, my dad checked out too,
but he checked out long before he went missing.
- Went missing?
- Yeah, he was a cop when we were kids.
He'd always come home and complain to my mom
about all the murderers and drug dealers out there,
but they could never get anyone to talk,
SO no one ever got arrested.
They just ran wild and it drove him
and everyone he worked with crazy.
Got to the point where my dad and his partner were
setting people up.
- Like hiring hitmen?
- No.
They'd catch someone with drugs,
take the drugs, take the money and not arrest them.
Then send them back out in the street empty handed.
And they'd find those guys two days later in an alley dead.
- Well, that's one way to handle it.
- And then one day he just never came home.
My mom thinks he went crazy, ran off to the woods.
My brother and I think he got himself killed.
- How do you usually split up the rooms?
- I'll take the odd numbers, you can take the even.
That way, if you need anything,
I'll be right across the hall.
- Yeah, we do we got for a room?
409.
That one was exceptionally filthy.
What's next?
- You have 409 and I have 412.
Will you shut that damn door?
- What, you gonna come in and join us,
or you're just gonna stand there?
- Leave this kid alone,
and get back to this bed.
- Did you just see that?
- Yeah, it looked like you forgot to knock.
- Not funny!
What's wrong with tuna?
- When I was in fifth grade, the ugliest girl in my class
inhaled tuna fish sandwiches every day at lunch.
- Aw, she can't help it if she was born ugly.
- She wasn't just ugly, she was also an asshole.
- How could she be an asshole in the fifth grade?
- When we didn't finish a chapter in class,
she'd point it out to the teacher and get us extra homework.
She had yellow teeth with pink braces.
She was also a hall monitor.
Anyway, one day the teacher has us sitting down on the floor
with her shoes off and this kid starts tickling her feet,
and she starts laughing and her mouth is full
of fucking tuna, all stuck in her braces,
three hours after lunch at the end of the day.
The sight and smell of it was so disgusting,
it turned me off to tuna for the rest of my life.
- So how long have you been working here?
- It'll be a year in September.
I got three and a half years through a bachelor's degree,
and then all that shit happened with my dad and I left.
I think I'll have enough money saved by the end of the year
to get in on the spring semester.
And then I don't have to smooth out dirty sheets
and juggle condoms anymore.
- What about you?
- I like to knit.
- Cool.
- I don't have any big plans.
I mostly work here so I don't have to live with my mom.
- That guy comes in every day.
I think he just jerks off
and watches porn all day.
- You should go and say hi.
You should go and say hi.
Maybe he can pay for your college tuition.
Too soon?
- You never know, I might be your new boss.
I almost forgot.
I baked you a birthday cake.
- Thanks.
I think there's some forks inside.
- Your cake tastes like something I've had before.
Really?
- Do you have any toilet paper?
- I think so, check my cart.
- I'm taking two.
Sure, just don't take it all.
- All right.
- Did you write on my list?
Write in your what?
- Nothing, I'm talking to myself.
Housekeeping.
Sorry, I didn't know anyone was in here.
I knocked, no one answered.
- It's okay, I'm on my way out.
- I can come back later if you want.
- It's okay, I'm on my way out.
If you scream, I'm going to cut your fucking nose off.
Do you understand?
Stand up.
Stand right here in front of me.
Go on.
Take off your clothes.
I'm only gonna ask you once.
Everything.
That's better.
That's nice.
Sing me a song.
- What kind of song?
- It doesn't matter.
Just sing.
Again, again.
You don't dance when you sing?
Start over!
You kiss your daddy with this mouth?
- My dad's dead, you asshole.
- That's sweet.
No!
- Should I stay or should I go?
- I think I just need to be alone for a little while.
- Okay.
But I'm gonna call you in an hour and if you don't pick up,
I'm coming right back here.
- Thanks.
Hello?
- Hey, how you doing?
- I'm okay, I guess.
I mean, it sucks, but it's something someone else did to me,
so I'm not gonna let it ruin my life.
- Do you want me to come over?
- No, I think I just need to sleep.
I just can't believe they fired me.
- They fired you?!
- Yeah.
When I told Dave that I wasn't coming in tomorrow,
he just said it would probably be best
if I didn't come back at all.
You know, too much, like, bad publicity
for that kind of business.
Fuck him.
- Fuck him.
- He's fat, bald and obviously miserable.
- Yeah.
But I have some money saved, so it'll be fine.
I think I'm gonna nod off.
- All right.
Well, call me if you need anything, okay?
Okay.
- Seriously.
- Okay.
I'll talk to you soon.
Bye. - Bye.
- Hi, this,
so awkward.
I saw your ad and wanted to talk.
This is about the adoption, my name's Amanda.
- Hey, you.
- Hey, I did something weird.
- Okay, weird how?
- I called a lady looking to adopt.
- Okay, kind of weird.
- Yeah, she didn't answer, so I just left a message.
- All right, not so weird.
Just when she calls back, don't pick up.
Problem solved.
- Yeah, but I think I wanna do this.
- I have to make a run to the post office.
I'll swing by and pick you up and we can go for a ride.
- Okay, I'll be up front.
- Okay, talk to me.
Tell me what's up.
- I thought I could do this.
I thought that by having this kid,
I could make it into one of those something good
comes from something bad types of situation.
But the more I think about it,
the more ridiculous it sounds.
I was saving for school, 'cause that was important to me,
and now I can't even pay my rent.
I mean, I was fucking raped!
The father of this kid is some piece of who raped me,
someone who beat me and left me for dead.
The kind of person who puts five minutes
of their own pleasure above someone else's right to live.
I mean look at my face.
- Yeah, it's pretty fucked up.
- How can I ever look at a kid that was conceived
in a moment filled with that much insanity,
and not be reminded of it every single time?
I mean, sure, the kid is part me,
so I'll love the kid, no matter what,
but it's also part him and I will always hate that part,
always, no matter what.
- Okay, do this.
Let her foster the kid.
That way, if you ever change your mind,
you can always get the kid back.
- That's her.
- I'll pull over, you can talk in the car.
- Hello.
- Hey!
Tonight's the night.
Okay, let's go in and climb the fence.
Once in there, you kick. - Okay.
So nice to meet you.
- Hi, nice to meet you too. - Hit
I love your glasses.
- Oh, thanks.
Have a seat.
Well, I guess since I'm the one asking,
I'll tell you a little bit about myself.
It's not a very exciting story really.
Career woman, I put education and earning money
ahead of settling down.
College, medical school, residency,
and then all of the effort involved
in setting up a practice,
I just didn't make time for much else.
So, here I am.
I have everything I want, except for a baby.
I mean, I figured I've done everything else on my own.
Why not this, right?
Oh yeah, you're right.
- You don't have to tell me anything
about yourself just yet.
I just wanted to meet you.
And you're every bit as lovely as I expected.
- It's okay, it just sort of happened unexpectedly.
And then I lost my job.
And this wasn't something I planned for,
so I think it'll be better for everyone this way.
- You know, life can be tough.
Is everything else okay?
You know, everything else.
- I'm not sure what you mean.
- Well, you're young.
When I was your age, I liked to experiment
with different things.
Smoked a little pot, did some acid in college.
Hell, maybe I did a little bit more than that,
but either I'm not telling or I don't remember.
Oh, let's just say I don't remember.
- That sounds like you did a lot,
if you can't remember.
I don't drink, smoke or use drugs,
so the doctor said that the baby's healthy.
I didn't wanna know.
So I can't tell you if it's gonna be a boy or a girl.
I could give you my doctor's number
and you can find out, if you really need to know.
Maybe, but surprises can be fun, right?
I have some information
that I thought you might like to see.
Just a little bit about me, my practice,
just so you know.
- Thanks.
- Can I get this?
I'm sorry, it might be work related.
I could take it outside if you want.
- Oh, oh, no, it's okay.
I have to use the bathroom anyway.
- Dr. Gilden speaking.
- So, was she weird?
No, she was nice.
I think it's gonna be okay.
I remember when my dad used to take us
down here when we were kids.
He'd always say it was nice to sit with us
and not have to think about those animals in the city.
It was a lot nicer back then.
And then he would tell us that it was illegal
to swim in Central Park.
Followed by the same terrible joke.
He'd say, "How many tickles does it take
to make an octopus laugh?"
- I don't know.
- Ten-tickles.
He was so corny,
but me and my brother always laughed.
- Here.
- What's this?
- Open it.
I was gonna give it to you after.
- Thank you.
- You're welcome.
Wait, one more.
Oh my God!
Did you make these?
Oh my God!
You are an old lady!
- Shut up!
- Thank you.
Really, really, thank you for this.
- You're welcome.
Call me later, okay?
- Okay.
Wait, wait!
I almost forgot this stuff.
- Bye.
- Bye.
- Hi.
I didn't mean to startle you.
I just had to leave so abruptly earlier,
I didn't want you to think I was being rude.
- Oh no, I just assumed that you get
pretty busy during the day.
- I've read about this.
You know, I always wanted to write a children's book.
If I didn't go to med school,
I could have been a children's author.
- How did you know where I live?
- Oh, I just looked your address up.
Hope you don't think I'm being too forward.
You know, it turns out that my secretary
used to work for your obstetrician.
- You can come inside if you'd like.
Yeah, it was weird.
She was just standing outside when I got to my front door.
I don't know if she's just being polite
about skipping out on lunch and it freaked me out,
'cause no one's polite anymore.
- Or maybe she wants to Kill you and take your baby.
Shut up.
Goodbye.
- Is that it?
- Can you actually grab me a jar of pickles?
- I knew this girl.
She craved vinegar when she was pregnant.
At first it was vinegar on her salad,
then it was vinegar-flavored, potato chips,
then it was salt and vinegar popcorn.
Eventually she just started drinking it
straight out of the bottle.
Her baby was born premature, had a clubfoot.
So sad.
It was probably dehydration.
Vinegar can dehydrate you.
- I'll be careful.
- I know who you are.
It isn't necessary.
Dr. Gilden said to bill it to her account.
- Thanks.
Hello.
Hello?
Fine, call me back when you get your shit together,
whoever this is.
I only wanted you to make him talk
before you killed him.
That's what we were trying to do,
so I got to find out who killed my father.
And I still don't know!
You ain't too smart, Marshall.
- Don't you know what a good shot I am?
That was you who told the judge
you definitely saw me kill man.
- Hello?
- Hi, it's Catherine.
I got my shit together.
Oh my God.
You probably think I'm such a bitch, I swear I'm not.
- Oh, don't be silly.
I was going through a tunnel, we lost reception.
Anyway, I didn't get a chance to speak to you
before you left the grocery store.
- Oh, sorry, I didn't know that was you.
I was expecting a package and I wanted to make sure
I was here when the mailman came,
so I pretty much rushed back.
- Well, I just wanted to let you know
that I have an account at the grocery store,
so if you need anything, just get it,
and tell them to bill me, okay?
- Oh, that's sweet.
Sorry, that's the doorbell, I gotta run.
- You better run.
Could be the delivery man.
Let's talk later.
- Definitely, talk soon.
Order 261, I have one curly fry,
three plain, two small Cokes. - Yes, that's me.
- There you go, have a great day.
- Thank you.
- Here you go.
- I feel so fat, I hate it.
- Well, you are eating like a wild boar.
- Do boars even eat that much?
- They're pigs.
Or maybe you're having twins.
- Okay, that's not even funny.
- It's pretty funny.
There's this one lady that had twins,
something like 87 days apart.
- Is that even possible?
- Apparently.
She gave birth to one kid,
and then three months later had another one.
Twins.
87 days apart.
- Fuck.
- I swear.
I think it happened in London.
Or was it Ireland?
- So, something weird happened yesterday.
I'm at the grocery store and the lady at the cash register,
she wouldn't take my money.
- Go on.
- She tells me that Dr. Gilden told her
to put my groceries on her tab.
- Okay.
- They know me there.
That's weird.
- Who's Dr. Gilden?
- Really? The woman who wants to adopt this baby.
Are you even listening?
- You're right, that's weird.
- Yeah, that's really fucking weird.
- Maybe she just wants to make sure you're eating healthy.
She's a doctor after all.
- That's strike two.
- Strike two? Was there a strike one?
- Yeah, first that bitch looked up my address
and just showed up at my door after skipping out on lunch.
- Okay, strike one for sure.
- Now she's following me to the grocery store
and spying on me while I shop?
Then insulting me by insinuating
that I can't pay for my own groceries,
asking me if everything's okay,
as if I look like some fucking crack head.
Fuck that!
- Okay, strike two, but take the free groceries.
You know, if she keeps acting like a weirdo,
this isn't gonna work out.
I would rather live with a baby in a dumpster
than give her to some psycho stalker.
- Her?
What do you mean?
- You just referred to the baby as her.
- I did?
- Yeah, you did.
- I asked the doctor the other day after lunch.
I don't know, I guess the stress of everything,
it was really getting to me.
And I had to know something.
It's a girl.
- Is this strike three?
- That bitch!
Can I help you?
- I was just checking in to make sure everything was okay.
- Well, it's not your job to check in on me.
Is that my mail?
- Oh, yeah, the mail man gave it to me.
He thought I was your mother.
- Can I have my mail, please?
- Imagine that, your mother.
I mean, your sister, I could-
- Please leave, this was a really bad idea.
What don't you understand about get the fuck away from me?
- I really think you should go,
she seems really upset.
- Let go of my fucking arm!
- Where are you going?
- That stupid bitch opened my mail.
- Let it go, that woman is crazy,
and like you're gonna fight anyone anyway.
You're a million months pregnant
and your stomach is about to explode.
- How fucking weird is that?
- Okay, that was weird, I totally get what you mean now.
- Who opens other people's mail?
I mean, who the fuck does that?
She doesn't even know me!
Do I call her and tell her to fuck off?
- I think you already sent that message.
- Well, do I call the police?
- Let's not agitate her, this woman is clearly rabbed,
we don't know what'll send her off.
- Hi, I'm trying to reach Doctor Gilden.
The two of you need to take at least a day
before you even consider talking to each other.
- I'm sorry, what?
- My dad has a place in hours on north of here,
where we can go for a couple of days-
- She's not even a doctor.
- What? - I just called her office
and she's not even a fucking doctor.
- It's Friday, I can take Monday off from work.
- I'm gonna throw up, oh my God.
- And we can stop and get some snacks along the way.
- What about this?
- Okay.
- What about this?
- Just get whatever.
Get two of everything if you want.
- Sorry.
- It's 98,50.
- Charge everything to Catherine Gilden's account, please.
Thank you!
- Here we are.
In the finest outdated cottage
half a divorce settlement can buy.
- Are you sure your dad's not gonna mind?
- It's fine.
He hasn't been here since Christmas,
three years ago.
Hopefully he remembered to turn off the water.
If he didn't and the pipes froze or broke or whatever,
we're gonna have to find a lake to bathe in.
- Yeah, that's all someone needs,
to stumble upon a naked pregnant woman bathing in a lake.
- Go inside, I'm gonna get the stuff from the car.
- Are you sure? I don't mind helping.
- Here, now go inside and sit down.
I don't remember which key it is,
so you're gonna have to try 'em all.
Oh, good, someone did turn the water off.
I'm gonna go get the rest of the stuff from the car.
- Let me help.
I can't just sit inside while you're out here
doing everything.
You've done so much for me as it is.
Called my mom to tell her we were up here.
She didn't fucking answer.
- Give me my fucking baby!
I'm calling the police, you fucking psycho!
- You are not gonna take my baby from me.
- It's not your baby, you asshole!
- Nobody's gonna take my baby.
Nobody's gonna take my baby!
Nobody's gonna take my baby!
Nobody's gonna take my baby.
Nobody's gonna take my baby!
Nobody's gonna take my baby!
- Fuck you!
Fuck you!
Of course.
Fuck!
How is this my life?
- I told you nobody was gonna take my baby.
That's my baby.
You ungrateful little bitch.
Give me my baby!
You ungrateful little bitch!
We had an agreement.
That baby is mine!
That baby is mine!
Give me that baby!
Nobody's gonna my baby.
She's my baby!
She's mine, you know she's mine, you told me!
Little bitch!
Give me that baby.
Give me my baby!
- Give me my baby!
Where's my baby?
- It's my baby.
And it's dead.
- Where's my baby?
- Your baby's dead!
- What are you saying?
- I'm saying that it's not alive anymore.
I killed it.
It's dead.
- You ungrateful beast!
After all I did for you.
- After all I did for that baby!
After all you've done for me?
After all you've done for my baby?
What did you do besides make my life more miserable
than it already was, you fucking psycho stalker?
Go ahead, kill me.
Kill me!
Fucking kill me, I don't care anymore!
Where's my fucking baby?
I hear her crying.
She needs her mother.
Where's my baby?
- Why won't you fucking die?
- You need some help with that?
- It's okay, I got it.
I think I better help you.
- Take your hands away from your face.
I wanna see you.
- Please.
Please, I have a wife and I have a kid.
- You have a wife and two kids.
No.
What are you doing?
No, no, no!
What are you doing to me?
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