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[INAUDIBLE]

[INAUDIBLE]

[COP SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY OVER RADIO]

[SIREN WAILS]

[COP SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY OVER RADIO]

MAN: Duane, is that you?

[COP SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY OVER RADIO]

Light beer?

Yeah, I'm trying to lose some weight.

-Hey, Bobby. -Where are you headed?

Going home.

What are you doing out here?

Nothing, just driving around.

Are you drunk, Duane?

I'm not gonna lie to you, Bobby.

Yeah, that's good.

Listen, why don't you come with me?

I'm getting off in a half hour, I'll drop you home,

I'll call a tow for the truck

and you can pick it up in the morning.

How am I gonna get back out here?

Duane, I'm doing you a favor.

[SIGHS]

Come on.

[DUANE GROANS]

[CAR BEEPS]

All right. You got it?

You okay?

All right, come on, let's go. Let's get you out of here.

What? What do you got in there?

I got my daughter.

DUANE: Honey.

Come on, Bobby's gonna give us

a ride home, sweetie. Come on.

You get in the car, Duane. I'll get your daughter.

This changes things, Duane.

I can't let you go on this.

Get in the car, Duane. It's cold.

JUDGE: Let me get this straight.

You're doing 84 on the parkway,

it's 2:00 a.m.,

your daughter's in the back seat,

and you're twice the legal limit.

Am I hearing this right?

-Your Honor... -It's a rhetorical question, Mr. Hopwood.

Do you understand the seriousness of your situation?

Yeah. Your Honor, if I could just...

No, Mr. Hopwood, you can't.

Now, I understand the arresting officer

is going to pay Mr. Hopwood's bail. Is that correct?

Yes, Your Honor, that's correct.

He's my client's cousin.

Uh, we're not... We're not really cousins.

Our fathers are best friends.

We sort of grew up tog...

Here's what's gonna happen, Mr. Hopwood.

I'm releasing you on your own recognizance.

Your Honor, my client feels...

I sympathize with how your client feels,

but due to the fact that Mr. Hopwood has no priors,

and it doesn't seem as though he was fleeing with the child,

I see no reason not to release him at this time.

I am, however, temporarily revoking your license, Mr. Hopwood.

Your Honor, with...

With all due respect and stuff,

I really need my car.

I mean, I work at Caesars.

That's how I make my living,

and I gotta pay child support.

What am I... Am I supposed...

You live in Longport?

Yeah.

You have a bike?

Yeah, I got a bike.

Well then.

Your Honor, it's November, it's cold

and I work from 3:00 a.m. to noon...

I'm not your transportation coordinator.

Do what you have to do, keep a low profile,

and I'll see you back here in two weeks, okay?

Okay.

You're a very lucky man, Mr. Hopwood.

Things could be a lot worse.

They could?

Oh, yeah.

Bullshit. Bullshit.

[HORN HONKS]

-Yo, Duane! -What the fuck!

Sorry, man. It's me, Anthony.

Hey, Anthony, yeah. You kind of snuck up on me there.

I wasn't sure it was you. You got that parka on.

You gotta get one of those reflector vests, dude.

Somebody's gonna run you over.

That's what I'm hoping for.

Oh, man, don't mess around.

I just ran over a seagull, I swear to God,

and I told him the same thing.

I said, "You gotta wear one of those reflector vests."

-You know what he said? -What did he say?

"Fuck you!" No, really, he said

they don't have them in his size,

and they weigh him down and shit.

So listen, you want a ride?

Hell, yes.

All right, cool, man, pull over.

I'll put your bike in the trunk.

-You get switched? -Yeah, I told Robin

I'd work 3:00 to noon if he let me do stand-up.

'Cause I want to be an actor, you know.

I'm fixing slot machines now, but if I can get

some casino stand-up under my belt,

somebody might see me,

and I can get an agent or a manager.

That's how it starts. It's all up for grabs, dude.

Robin?

Yeah, you know, the dude who books talent in the lounge.

-Big fat black dude. -You mean, Rahmn.

Yeah, Robin.

No, his name is Rahmn.

It's Rahmn. It's like a Muslim name or something.

Really? Shit.

-You serious? -Yeah.

-Fuck, I've been calling him Robin. -Well, it's Rahmn.

Fuck. I'm like "Hey, Robin!

"How about letting me do some stand-up, you big fat fuck?"

No wonder he's been looking at me funny.

Rahmn. Hell.

Like the noodles. Like Ramen noodles.

DUANE: Yeah, we don't... He doesn't like that.

-ANTHONY: Oh, okay. -Don't ever mention...

-Oh, yeah? Okay, good. -...the noodle thing.

-No, I wanna be in tight with him. -Seriously.

I come out at the top of my act, and I'm like,

"Hi, everybody. I'm Mike, good to see you.

"Everybody good? Everybody got a drink?

"Moe Greene. How are you? Fredo, give Mike a drink."

You know that scene from The Godfather?

-Yep. -I can't wait to try it in the casino

'cause in the movie, they're in the casino. Yeah.

Yeah, in the scene. And if someone heckles me,

I'll just go, "Hey, you know who I am?

"I'm Moe Greene! I'm Moe Greene!"

You know what I mean? It's just bullshit.

You just gotta work at it a little.

Listen, I got a proposal for you.

-You live alone, right? -Right.

Okay, I'm looking for a place to rent that's closer to work.

How do you feel about a roommate?

You know I got the job, so rent's not a problem.

I'll clear out whenever you need me to,

'cause I know you got the kids, when they visit.

You get a ride to work instead of the bicycle thing.

I know I talk a lot, but I swear to God I'll shut the fuck up.

Anthony, it's not you. It's just a bad time.

I understand. I understand.

Just do me a favor and think about it.

Take a couple days.

And get a reflector vest!

Maybe a little bell for the bike,

you know, whatever. It could work!

MAN 1: Hit me! Hit me!

MAN 2: Sir, you need to keep your voice down.

MAN 1: I'm not gonna keep my voice down!

You get paid to pay attention,

and you are absolutely killing me!

Here, let me work this out. There's no reason to shout.

I'm not shouting. Who are you?

My name's Duane Hopwood. I work for the casino.

Lou, why don't you keep Mr...

Uh, Mr. Fuck You.

Please keep Mr. Fuck You's chair open.

We'll be right back.

Hey, hands off the suit, Duane.

That's all right, Tommy, it's all right.

Here's the deal, Mr. Fuck You. Listen.

Either you keep your voice down, or Tommy here

is gonna put you in a full nelson

while I call the cops

and tell them some asshole is mouthing off at Caesars.

Then the cops find out who you really are,

and my guess is, that's not something you want.

Am I right?

-Which way? -Right this way, sir. Thanks, Lou.

Look, I didn't do nothing. That dealer's been dealing

-too freakin' slow. -Just save it. I know you've been

causing trouble at other casinos

and tossed a couple of times now.

Oh, yeah? How do you know that?

How do I know? I'll tell you how I know.

'Cause I'm Moe Greene.

That's how I know.

I thought you said your name was Duane.

-It is. Hit the road. -What about my game?

Your game is over, okay?

Now hit the road before you get into trouble.

Oh, come on, don't do this to me.

Will you give me another chance here?

Come on, please. Listen, I've been up for two days here.

Give me a chance, will you?

Here. Just play a few slots, okay?

Then get the fuck out.

Jesus.

Moe Greene, huh?

Gotta keep it fresh, Tommy.

Ten minutes to cocktails. Care to join?

Nah, rain check. I got shit to do.

Oh, hey, I almost forgot.

Your ex is waiting out on the boardwalk.

-What, Linda's here? -Yeah. I was coming over to tell you

when that guy popped off.

She said she'd meet you on the pier when your shift's over.

Thanks, Tommy.

MAN 1: Holy shit! I won!

I won! I won!

$100,000!

I won $100,000! [LAUGHS]

I can't believe it!

Yeah, baby!

One hundred grand! [LAUGHS HYSTERICALLY]

DUANE: Linda.

Hi. Is that my bike?

[DUANE CHUCKLES]

I'll get my own if you want.

No, it's fine. You can use it.

So what's it like riding to work?

Uh, you know, it's November, Linda,

so it blows.

What, are you mad?

I'm thrilled.

It's not my fault you lost your license.

I didn't say it was.

Well, then why are you mad at me?

-I didn't say that. -Well, why do you seem kinda...

Look, Linda, we're divorced. You should stop

telling me how I seem.

Okay.

-I'm sorry. -Um...

Mary would like to talk to you.

-Why? What's wrong? -Nothing.

She just wants to talk to you. She won't tell me why.

What about Katie, is she okay?

-Yeah, she's fine. -I like this.

Thank you. They're both fine.

My...

lawyer...

has suggested

that I revoke your visitation rights

because of what you did.

[SCOFFS]

What? What are you...

Okay, look, I'm sorry, but I...

Linda, they take my visitation rights away,

that means I can't see Mary and Kate.

I understand what it means. I...

What do you...

You got everything.

What else do you want?

I want you to promise me you won't drink

around the kids anymore.

[SIGHS]

Linda, please. Okay?

You're a drunk, Duane. Do you understand?

That's what this is all about.

I'm not a drunk.

Who... Who...

Okay, yes, for Christ's sakes,

I drink too much sometimes,

but, Linda, come on, I'm not a drunk.

-You're drunk now. -Oh, my God.

I just got off, okay? I had two quick drinks.

Why? Why? It's quarter after 12:00

-during the daytime! -Not for me, it's not.

I just got off work, remember?

Some of us work.

Yeah, you work, and I don't.

You drink, I don't.

-It's quarter after 12:00 during the day. -Okay.

You're not safe around the kids.

What were you even thinking?

My God, you know how crazy I was?

-I was out of my mind! -Okay, okay, would you... not so loud?

I was just bringing her home.

I was frantic! And I'm telling you something right now.

-Just calm down. -If you ever drink around my kids again...

My... Our kids!

Our kids!

[DUANE YELLS]

LINDA: Okay.

I'll buy you a new one.

-Duane. -Hi, Carl.

Let's take a walk.

I'm calling a taxi.

What do you need a taxi for?

What's wrong with your car?

I got a '92 Explorer with over 100,000 miles on it.

I got an '89 Volvo my son uses

that got almost 200,000 miles on it,

runs like the top.

How is he doing, by the way?

He's busy bankrupting me at college.

Yeah? What's that running you?

About $100,000.

Jesus Christ.

For a degree in Communications.

What's that?

Radio, television... I don't know.

Okay, Mrs. Fillipi,

tell us again what you saw.

I seen him

give him a handful of quarters

which he used on my machine...

That ain't your machine, you crazy old whacko.

Hey, let her finish.

...before he won that money.

I should have won that money.

What are you talking about? That ain't your machine.

I play that machine every morning.

-All right. -I was coming right over

with my quarters from my other machine...

-You crazy freakin' whacko. -All right.

-Whacko! -That's enough!

Tommy says it was Mr. Alonso's quarter.

Mr. Alonso?

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, it was his.

Mr. Alonso was, um, playing blackjack,

he had a problem with Lou,

we had a little talk,

I suggested he cool off by playing some slots,

and he got lucky.

That's it, then?

Mrs. Fillipi,

Mr. Alonso won that money fair and square.

Now why don't you go back to that machine?

Maybe it's still hot.

I come here every day.

I'm a widow on a fixed income.

I deserve that money.

Everybody knows it's my machine.

-I'm very sorry, Mrs. Fillipi... -I deserve that money.

...but there's nothing I can do.

I'm a widow on a fixed income.

-Come with me. -It's my money.

Mr. Alonso, collect your winnings and don't come back.

You just said I won it fair and square.

How come you're giving me a hard time?

'Cause you're a liar and a cheat,

and you've been kicked out of several casinos

on several occasions.

Well...

Yeah, okay, whatever.

But I did win this.

You did. Enjoy your winnings.

Have a nice day.

You know something, Duane?

Sometimes lately

I get the feeling you're not happy at your job.

-I'm happy, Carl. -Are you, Duane?

Because what just walked out that door is

a potential public relations nightmare.

Poor old lady loses, scumbag wins.

I need sound judgment from my pit bosses, Duane,

or else it's my ass. You understand?

I understand.

Good. Thanks for coming in, Duane.

I don't see him.

I don't know if we should be looking in here or not.

Let's just put it in the box.

Would you do it?

I cut myself on the mailbox.

-[MEN SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY] -[DOOR KNOB CLICKING]

WALLY: Ow, ow! Fred, you're on my foot. Get off my foot!

For Christ's sake, Wally, what about my hip?

Hello, Fred. Hey, Wally.

I'm sorry. I was just kidding there. Are you okay?

WALLY: Do I look okay?

Just tell him about the invitation.

Wait a minute. Okay there.

-Huh? -The invitation.

Oh, the invitation. There's an invitation

in your mailbox to Thanksgiving dinner.

Me?

Yes, you, your family.

Oh, uh, how is that going?

Still divorced, Fred.

Oh, I'm sorry.

I realize that. I just...

Neither one of us wanted to assume anything.

Well, it's just me.

Um, are you dating anyone?

Oh, Fred.

Sorry.

Look, thanks. Thanks a lot, Fred.

Thanks, Wally.

Uh, well, I'll check my schedule

and you know, I may be working, but...

What do you mean, working? On Thanksgiving Day they make you work?

Casinos are non-stop, Fred.

I work holidays all the time.

-Oh. -WALLY: Fred, come on.

Anyway, good night.

-Okay, good night. -It's in the mailbox.

DUANE: Mary!

Hi, Daddy.

Hey. Hey, you know what? Grab your bike.

I'll race you to the boardwalk.

Wait.

Linda, it's Duane. I'm taking Mary for a ride.

A bike ride!

Come on, slowpoke.

Where's Katie?

MARY: She's with Mom and Bob.

-Who's Bob? -Mom's friend.

He jogs every day.

He's in real good shape.

What, and I'm not?

Well, he's not older like you are.

Well, how old is Bob?

I don't know.

So what's the deal with Jogging Bob?

What do you mean?

Well, how long has he been Mom's friend?

I don't know.

-You like him? -He's all right.

So Mom said you wanted to talk to me.

-Yeah. -Yeah, what about?

Do you think I can live with you?

Why? Why do you want to live with me?

Just because.

Hey, because why?

-Dad! -What?

Just because.

Hey, hey, hey. Hold up, hold up.

Mary, you know the deal, all right?

You live with Mom, and I get to visit.

-That's a shitty deal! -Hey, hey!

Watch it.

Come on.

And I hate Kate.

-You don't hate your sister, Mary. -Yes, I do.

She called me fat in front of Bob,

and Bob said he'd take me jogging

so I can lose some weight.

I hate her stupid guts!

Okay, okay. Hey, hey, come on.

Your sister loves you, okay?

I'll talk to her. She shouldn't have said that.

I'll talk to her, okay?

-I love you, okay? -Okay.

-Hey. -Hi.

[SIGHS]

Sorry about the other day.

You didn't have to buy me a new bike.

DUANE: Oh, yeah, I did.

-Can I sit down? -Sure.

Here.

MARY: Can I have some Honeycombs?

I'd rather you didn't.

-Why are your feet wet? -They're not wet.

Mary, look at your feet. They're soaking wet.

Sorry, it's my fault.

We took a ride on the beach.

LINDA: [SIGHS] Okay, go change your shoes,

and you can have a small bowl of cereal.

-We're leaving for lunch in 15 minutes. -Thank you.

-You're welcome. -What? You're leaving?

I thought you wanted me to come talk to her.

Yeah, I did, but you didn't tell me you were coming now.

[SIGHS] I thought maybe we could all do something.

Well, like what?

I thought we could all, I don't know,

-maybe have dinner later. -I can't.

-Lunch? -Mmm-mmm.

[SCOFFS]

Late breakfast?

[CHUCKLES] No?

Can I interest you in a "glitten"?

-Uh... -It's not a glove, it's not a mitten.

This here's a "glitten."

-No thanks. -Okay.

Hey, Lin.

Duane.

Hey.

Lin, come on, please.

Please.

I've been thinking, um,

about what you said, and I think...

I think I'm gonna try to do it,

and if I give up drinking altogether,

I was wondering if maybe you could...

I don't know... I was hoping you would call off your lawyer.

LINDA: Hi.

Bob Flynn, this is my ex-husband Duane.

-Hey, Duane, nice meeting you. -You, too.

Bob is going to be taking us to lunch.

Yeah, you want to come? We're just going around the corner.

Yeah, Daddy, come.

-Yeah, quick bite? -Um...

LINDA: Oh, did you tell Daddy who came?

Who came where?

Oh, my God, let me see. Two in one day?

Oh! And the tooth fairy gave you $5?

Thank you very much. So what are you gonna get?

-A necklace. -A necklace, huh? Yeah?

Well, we talked about that.

That's more of a grownup present

that costs more than $5.

Well, what kind of necklace?

It's the same as Mommy's.

Oh, yeah, which one?

It's nothing. It's, um...

It's a... Well, I had seen this thing.

I drew it out for a guy.

I designed a little, uh...

And he had it made for my birthday.

That is true.

LINDA: It's great.

You got my flowers.

I did. Thank you.

They were beautiful. Beautiful.

Bob threw them out.

Mary!

I saw him throw them out.

-Bob did not just throw them out. -DUANE: Lin, it's fine.

-Mary, he didn't throw them out. -Lin.

No, what happened was they were a little ripe,

and I thought it was time to throw them out.

We would never ever just throw them away.

Lin, it's okay. It's been a week-and-a-half.

I'm glad you got 'em. Happy birthday.

Thank you.

I'm flying.

Hey, you guys, it's time for Powerpuff Girls.

Whoo!

-Powerpuff Girls. -I'll be in in a minute.

Okay, don't sit too close.

Whoo, thank God for Powerpuff Girls,eh?

You can say that again.

Well, I gotta go.

-Thanks again for lunch. -Oh, yeah, sure.

-Listen, it was really a pleasure, Duane. -Yeah, you too.

Um, Mary.

Oh, yeah, how'd that go?

-Good. -Excuse me.

Um, she's okay.

She's just mad at Katie for calling her fat...

-Mmm. -...but she'll be all right.

-I thought that's what it was. -Yeah.

You know, I had told her that I am happy to help her

if she wants to get in a little better shape,

'cause there's easy things that I can do with diet, exercise.

-Real easy stuff. -Yeah, well, she's eight, you know, so...

-Yeah, no, I know. I just thought that... -I mean, there's

plenty of time for her to be self-conscious later.

Yeah, sure. Although it's never too early to start good habits,

especially with nutrition, 'cause at a young age, the fat cells...

You know what? He's very interested in nutrition.

He's really healthy,

-lives a healthy lifestyle. -No, I know. Mary said "jogging Bob."

-Ah. Just Bob is fine. -Huh?

Just Bob.

Well, just Bob, I'm just telling you

that she doesn't really need to hear you

telling her she needs to lose weight, first of all.

That's the wrong thing to be telling an eight-year-old girl.

And second of all, it's none of your fucking business.

-Okay, Duane... -Okay, you know what?

No. Because if you're gonna be an asshole, all right...

-Ah, asshole. -Guys, guys, really, it's just no...

-Calm down. -Duane, what are you doing?

Duane, what are you doing? Duane, stop it, stop it!

Hi, Daddy, are you staying?

No, no, I gotta go.

[KISSES]

Love you.

-Bye, Daddy. -Bye-bye, Daddy.

Stop, stop, stop.

[JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING]

Hey, Duane.

Hey, Frank.

-Duane. -Anthony.

-You, uh, you know Aldo? -Yeah.

I mean, I don't know him, but he's a comic, right?

Not for long he ain't.

-What's up? -Aldo got Michelle pregnant.

Who's Michelle?

You know, the waitress in the lounge, night shift,

eighteen, 19. She's got that tit-too.

Oh, yeah, Michelle. What, he got her pregnant?

ANTHONY: Yep, she started showing

and Rahmn was gonna fire her, so then she told him it was Aldo.

Fuck. What's she doing with Aldo anyway?

He's like 55 years old. How do you know?

-Patty told me. -Who's Patty?

Bartender. You know, she's got the black hair

-with the white... -Oh, yeah, like a skunk.

-RAHMN: I'm telling your ass right now, Aldo! -Screw you, you fat bastard.

Who the hell you think you gonna fucking turn out on the fucking...

Fucking screw this!

Who the fuck do you think you're talking to?

Now don't come back here anymore.

Do you understand me? Do you understand me?

-Yeah, yeah, all of it. Get off! -Shut the fuck up!

Hey, Barney Fife, you got your shot.

You're on Tuesday night. I hope you're funny.

Hey, listen. You thought any more about what I said

about the roommate thing?

I mean, you can't ride that bike everywhere.

Let's face it.

Why do you want to live with me, Anthony?

Why, I told you why. I'm looking to be closer to work.

So just get an apartment. I mean, it's easy.

-Yeah, but... -But what? But what?

What do you want from me? Seriously.

I mean, you're...

What, you really think you're gonna be some star?

You're, what... You're 38 years old.

You're dreaming, man. You're funny, but you're dreaming.

Yeah, well, what's your dream, Duane?

Tell me what your dream is, man.

At least I got one.

You know what? I'm sorry.

It's none of my fucking business, Anthony. I'm sorry.

It's cool. It's all right.

You, uh...

So you really think I'm funny?

-Hey, come on, you know? -Yes, yes,

you're a funny guy, Anthony.

I knew it. I knew it, man.

Look, I just don't want to live alone, all right?

That's all. That's why.

Yeah, I'm 38 years old and I live with my mom in Cape May, New Jersey.

But look, I know you better than anyone else at work,

and I don't want to work in a casino all night

and then go home to some piece of shit apartment I'm renting

like a fucking vampire. I don't want to do that shit, you know?

And I just thought we can help each other out.

No harm, no foul.

You know, if it works, great.

If it doesn't, it doesn't, you know?

Hey.

The house, it's not even mine, it's my parents', so...

You don't have to pay me any rent, okay?

Just give me some money for utilities and phone

and the occasional ride,

and we'll see how it goes.

MAN ON RADIO: Coast 101 weather... It sucks! Ha!

Official weather for ya,

it's a nor'easter, meester, so if you're inside,

stay there. That's my advice anyway.

Rick DeAngelis rockin' the Jersey shoreline...

-[TURNS OFF RADIO] -Shut up.

See, that guy, he drives me crazy.

He thinks he's so funny.

-Who? -Rick DeAngelis.

Rockin' the Jersey shoreline.

Shut up.

What are you doing for Thanksgiving?

I don't know. Probably just spend it

with my neighbors, Wally and Fred.

Is Linda taking the kids to visit her folks?

No, I don't think so.

So why aren't you having dinner with them?

It's not gonna happen.

Oh. All right.

You know, my old man was always on the road.

My mom was working her ass off

keeping me and my two brothers together.

She'd bust his balls. He'd drink a little.

Not bad, you know?

But it always worked out with them.

You know? I mean, we felt it.

They just... They just... They just loved each other.

Sickness and health.

That's right.

That's right.

Give me another, will you?

[ROCK MUSIC PLAYING]

[CHUCKLING]

I've got to go. Go on inside.

[MOANS]

Would you help me in?

Duane, it's pouring.

I've got to go.

[ENGINE SPUTTERING]

No.

-You have got to be kidding me. -Oh, no!

-[PHONE RINGING] -[DUANE MUMBLING]

[RINGING CONTINUES]

Answer the phone!

-Kakinada. -Oh, God.

-Visakhapatnam... -Do you think I can get a taxi?

I don't know.

-Have you been to Kakinada? -[RINGING]

God! Shit! What am I gonna do?

Duane, I am serious. I have got to get back.

All right, come here.

Tell you what.

You go to bed with me,

and I'll let you borrow my boogie board.

Duane, I am so not going to sleep with you.

Why not?

[LAUGHS] Duane, stop.

-Why? -Because you're drunk,

and you smell... like a dead rat.

Oh, and that's a bad thing.

God.

Aw, you're probably right.

-Shit. -Hey, you know, you're welcome to stay

as long as you want.

[SIGHS]

Think I'm gonna take a nap.

[LET'S TALK DIRTY IN HAWAIIANPLAYING]

♪ Well, I packed my bags and bought myself a ticket

♪ For the land of the tall palm tree

♪ Aloha Old Milwaukee

♪ Hello Waikiki

♪ I just stepped down from the airplane

♪ When I heard her say

♪ "Waka waka nuka licka waka waka nuka licka

♪ Would you like a lei? Eh?"

♪ Let's talk dirty in Hawaiian

♪ Whisper in my ear

♪ Kicka pooka mok a wa wahini

♪ Are the words I long to hear

♪ Lay your coconut on my tiki

♪ What the hecka mooka mooka dear

♪ Let's talk dirty in Hawaiian

♪ Say the words I long to hear ♪

Hey, get over here! This is Duane.

He's the manager at Caesars, and, Duane,

this is Stephanie, right?

-Yeah. -Stephanie, okay, and Sharon.

Sharon's got that Julia Roberts vibe happening.

I'm feeling it, and this is the lovely Arlene.

And over here, this is Erica.

So listen, ladies, this is what I'm thinking.

I'm headlining Tuesday night at The Blue Martini.

I do comedy and since Duane manages the casino,

I'm thinking we'd love to have you guys come out for the show.

-You manage there? -Duane's been there what, 10 years?

-Almost nine. -Yeah, almost nine.

-And you're headlining? -Yeah.

How come I never heard of you?

Oh, no, I'm just getting into standup.

I'm mostly an actor, and Duane, he came out to L.A.,

and he invited me out here 'cause he saw me at the Comedy Store.

Mostly, it's the acting thing.

Uh, you know Jagon CBS?

I heard of that. That's like that young guy, the cute guy.

Anyone seen it, anyone?

Okay, well, I do a regular role on there.

I play a marine doctor.

It's sort of a best friend part with the main character.

Really?

Yeah. Because of Thanksgiving, we have a couple hiatus weeks,

so I'm out here doing my act at the casino,

-some other pub. -Pub?

Publicity. You know, Regis and Kelly Lee,

Conan O'Brien, stuff like that.

-Then back to L.A.? -We got three more shows to shoot before Christmas, so...

Maybe we'll come.

-Cool. -If I can have your autograph.

You can have whatever you want, baby!

Tuesday night at 10:00 in the lounge!

Bring your dancing shoes!

Jag?

Yeah, college chicks don't watch Jag.

Different "dermographic."

[ROCKING THE SUBURBSPLAYING]

♪ Let me tell y'all what it's like

♪ Being male, middle class and white

♪ It's a bitch if you don't believe

♪ Listen up to my new CD Sham on

♪ I got shit running through my brain

♪ So intense that I can't explain

♪ All alone in my white boy pain

♪ Shake your booty while the band complains

♪ I'm rocking the suburbs

♪ Just like Michael Jackson did

♪ I'm rocking the suburbs

♪ Except that he was talented

♪ I'm rocking the suburbs

♪ Yeah, yeah... ♪

[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

Howdy.

I'm Anthony.

Oh, yes, we saw.

Fred and Wally.

Duane told me all about you guys.

Uh-huh-huh.

-I just moved in. -FRED: We saw you moving in.

How do you know Duane?

-We work together. -At the casinos?

-Yeah, at Caesars. -We haven't been up to the casinos in years.

We, uh... Actually, we saw Johnny Mathis about...

-Yeah, he's good. -...some time ago.

How long ago would that have been, Wally?

-I have no idea. -Yo, Duane!

Well, see, we're here to tell Duane that we're changing the time

-of Thanksgiving dinner to 4:00. -Oh, Thanksgiving.

Yes, yes, we're having Duane and...

-Say, are you going to be here? -Yeah.

Well, Anthony, why don't you join us?

Really? Great, absolutely.

Oh, couple things, all right? I'm a strict vegetarian,

and I have ADHD, so you know, I have a hard time sitting still.

-Hey, Fred, hey, Wally. -We just invited your friend to join us

-for Thanksgiving. -DUANE: Oh, good.

Listen, good to meet you guys. Wally, Fred,

thanks for the invite. Peace.

-That's my new roommate. -Yes, he was telling us.

-He's quite a character. -Oh, yeah, he's non-stop.

So, Linda and the girls?

Yeah, they're gonna be having dinner with Linda's boyfriend.

Linda has a boyfriend.

Well, these things happen,

and life goes on.

Honestly, guys, I just got off the phone with my lawyer.

Uh, Linda's trying to take the kids away,

so I don't know if I'm gonna make it to dinner Thursday.

Well, that's all right, Duane.

We're just a couple of old men,

but any way we can help, we will.

So why don't you go back inside with your crazy roommate

and if you can, come to Thanksgiving dinner

Thursday at 4:00.

And we'll all, uh, give thanks.

[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

-Duane. -Carl.

Sit.

The old lady went to Larry, that prick.

Duane, I love you like a son,

but what the fuck are you doing?

How bad is this, Carl?

It's the game, Duane.

Oh, man, don't... Don't... Don't tell me that.

I mean, I'm...

I'm in the middle of it here.

Duane, listen to me. You listening?

We're all in the middle of it here.

I just took out a second fucking mortgage

to pay for a fucking degree in Communications.

I don't even know what that is.

But I'm not starring in a fucking movie,

doing shit that costs me my fucking job.

Duane, my fucking hands are tied here.

Larry almost fired me.

You understand?

You saved any money?

I think Larry's days may be numbered.

I heard they offered him Vegas.

If he takes it, we all move up.

I become Larry. You're back in.

We'll see.

I'm sorry, kid.

How about you finish out the week?

[JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING]

-It's fucking mad, isn't it? -What do you mean?

Why?

-Because... -Why, because why?

We did it.

I know we did it.

So... So I thought it was good.

Mad, that's all.

Oh, no, it was great.

Okay, take, you know, take a little longer to answer that.

God, that's all right.

No, it was... Now if I say it was... [LAUGHING]

I'm sure it was great. I'm sure it was great.

It was great.

Hey, can I tell you something?

Yeah.

I mean, I think I can tell you this 'cause, you know...

'Cause we're friends.

-No, that's not what... -I'm a friend, am I?

No, you know what I mean.

You know what I mean.

I'm... I'm kidding, Duane.

What? What?

I just hope you understand when I say that...

I still love Linda.

You know?

Okay.

-You know? -Yeah.

No, Gina.

Whatever, Duane.

-No, don't go. -God!

[DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES]

[CHILDREN YELLING]

Hey, Jake. Jaker, hey, come here for a sec.

Hey, Mr. Hopwood!

-Hey, Jake, how you doing? -Good.

Good. Good. Listen, can you do me a favor?

What's that?

Well, I want you to go inside and find Mary and Kate, okay,

and tell them I need to see them real quick, all right?

I just need to tell them something. Can you do that?

No.

No, why not?

Sorry, Mr. Hopwood, I gotta go.

All right, don't worry about it, Jake.

Kate has playtime anyways now, I think.

Oh, yeah, that's her. Hey, Katie!

Come here.

I'm her dad. Sweetie, hi.

Hi, Daddy, what are you doing here?

Oh, well, I was just around the corner,

and I knew you had playtime now,

so I thought I'd say a quick hello.

-Are you warm enough, sweetie? -Mmm-hmm.

-Yeah, you sure? -I'm sure.

Yeah? How's school today?

Good. We practiced for our play,

a Thanksgiving play.

Oh, yeah?

I'm a Native American.

-A what? -A Native American, Daddy, like an Indian.

Oh, oh, that's great, sweetie.

Yeah, it's fun to be the Indian, huh?

Pilgrims are boring.

-Can you come? -Oh, sweetie,

you know how I have work in the mornings.

-WOMAN: All right, kids. -Hey.

-Don't get upset, okay, please? -Come on in, time for class.

Sweetie, I just wanted to come by

and say a nice hello, okay?

You know about when I work.

Hello, sir? We're going inside. It's too cold.

-Oh, all right. -Can I help you with anything?

No, no, she'll be right there.

Hey, hey, I'm sorry about the play, okay?

I just wanted to see you,

see your sweet face, sweetie Kate, okay? Come here.

Come here, give me a kiss. Come here.

Kate.

Daddy, let go of me.

Off you go.

MAN: I been sober 15 years,

and every time my mother-in-law

makes that funky-ass nutloaf thing,

I want to jump. You understand?

Not fall, jump off the motherfucking wagon.

Now, we know this is a bad time

or can be a bad time.

The holidays ain't for drunks who wanna do right.

You know what I'm saying?

So let's talk about that.

We talk about it.

How about you?

Yeah, that's right, you.

Sneaky ass rookie. I see you sneaking in back there.

My name is William. I run this group here.

Welcome. Come on in, get yourself a chair.

Join the circle.

Why don't you tell us your name

and a little bit about yourself?

[CLEARS THROAT] Um...

I'm Duane. Duane Hopwood.

ALL: Good morning, Duane.

Tell us, what's up with you today?

Well, my lawyer said

I should do this.

[CLEARS THROAT] I don't...

I've never been to one of these things, so...

But I got a court thing coming up,

and he thought

that this might help.

What kind of court thing?

I got stopped down on the parkway

last week on a D.W.I.,

and he thinks that the judge might like it

if I showed up for a few of these things.

Is this the first time you've been busted on a D.W.I.?

Yeah, first time. Hopefully, the last.

I heard that.

So your lawyer thinks you should be here?

What do you think?

What do I think? I don't know.

If it'll help, you know?

I mean, I'm not sure

I need to be here, but...

Well, let me tell you, Duane,

I'm a recovering alcoholic, but I'm also a lawyer myself,

and that's advice I'd give to somebody with a real problem,

not a first-time D.W.I.

Now, you're in a room full of people

who thought they could get better themselves, including me,

but my experience, and I've been doing this for a long time...

tells me that when a person walks through that door,

they need help.

We're your friends.

Nothing leaves this room.

Nothing.

I...

I had my daughter in the car.

My wife's lawyer... Um...

I'm divorced.

...is telling her that she should have my visitation rights revoked.

Which means I won't be able to see my two daughters.

And if that happens,

um...

I don't know what I'm gonna do.

You don't think you're an alcoholic, Duane?

I don't know. I'm...

My wife says I am, my ex-wife.

My lawyer says I should be here.

Me? Uh, you know...

I'm just... I'm just sad

is all.

I'm just sad right now.

'Cause...

Look, I'm not a drunk. I, um...

I hate that word.

And I work hard, and I pay my bills.

And I'm just... [PANTS]

I'm just...

And I can't have them take my kids away.

I can't have that.

Sorry, I gotta go.

Hey, Duane.

Promise us you'll come back.

Yeah.

-Big Steve. -Morning, Counselor.

That's her lawyer, right?

Yeah. He's not a bad guy, actually.

We play softball together.

-Shitty third baseman. -Oh, yeah?

The worst.

Plus, he runs like a girl.

Man, just try to relax.

Remember what I told you, okay?

Mr. Hopwood, do you wish to say anything?

Yes, Your Honor.

Now's the time.

Um, Linda, you know I feel real bad about having Mary in the car.

Mr. Hopwood, please confine your remarks to me, not to your ex-wife.

You know me, Linda. Come on.

-I would never do anything... -Mr. Hopwood.

Yes, Your Honor.

I will not warn you again.

Okay.

-Do you understand? -Yes, Your Honor.

Look, I know I'm at fault here.

I mean, Linda, she's a great mom.

I mean, she's really raised them.

She's had to be the bad guy sometimes with the discipline

because I just wasn't... I mean, I was at work.

I was always at work.

I see that now. And I didn't know...

And then she left

and it got worse.

You know, I know I'm not supposed to tell you this,

but now I've lost my job, Your Honor, and...

Who told you not to tell me that?

Um, nobody, Your Honor.

-Nobody? -No.

No, I just know.

Look, I'm sorry, Your Honor.

I love my kids.

I love my ex-wife still.

But I know she deserves to be happy.

So do I.

My parents were together 49 years.

And after my mother died, six months later

my father, he just... He went,

too.

'Cause he had no reason to stay.

See what I'm saying? I need a reason to stay.

Your Honor.

What's with the bat?

I'm gonna go talk to her.

-Don't do that. -No, it'll be all right.

-Don't do that! -I'm gonna talk to her.

Duane, listen to me. You wanna go to jail, you idiot?

-I'm telling you, don't go there. -Why not?

-Listen, you gotta calm down. -I am. Okay.

I'm telling you, you gotta calm down.

It all depends on the judge and how she views things.

Come on. I was upset.

I wasn't gonna hurt anyone with the bat.

Duane, go home, stay there.

I'll call you as soon as I know something.

You hear me?

MAN ON RADIO: Gobble, gobble, gobble, baby.

Thursday's the day, Thanksgiving!

[COUNTRY MUSIC PLAYING]

Turkey Holocaust. [CHUCKLES]

Oh, poor bastards.

Hey, what is that, an axe?

Ouch.

Time to spend some quality time with the family,

stuff yourself like the little piggy you are.

Cranberry sauce, potatoes, string beans, candy cams, ooh, baby!

Coast 101.

♪ Dang me, dang me

♪ They ought to take a rope and hang me

♪ High from the highest tree

♪ Woman would you weep on me? ♪

[SCATTING]

ANTHONY: Hey, how'd it go?

I don't know, uh...

I'll find out this afternoon.

Oh, all right. Well, sit down.

I wanna run some stuff by you.

-[SIGHS] -Well, what do you think?

I figured I'd come out like this.

You know, I've got this whole pissed off turkey monologue worked out.

Just wrote it.

I thought I'd run it by you.

It's brand new but I think it'll kill.

And I feel like I got to grab them by the balls, just get, you know, nuts.

Okay.

You think it's too much?

No, no. It's...

It's very funny.

So, can you listen?

It's been a rough morning. I think I just need to be alone for a while.

I'm sorry, man. I'll get out of here.

That's all right. That's not what I meant.

No, really, I'm cool. I have a couple of other props to pick up anyway.

So, you're coming tonight, though, right?

-Oh, yeah, I'll be there. -Cool, man.

'Cause I'm freaked. I am so freaked.

For real. But in a good way, you know what I mean?

I mean, things happen for a reason, Duane.

You know what I mean? They really do.

Everything's gonna be okay.

For both of us, you know? It's gonna work out.

And you've been a great friend,

and I really hope things work out with your wife and kids.

I'm gonna say a prayer.

Thanks, man.

And you know,

if I don't see you before you go up there, you break a drumstick.

[LAUGHS] I like that right there.

That's funny.

I'm telling you, you're a funny guy, Duane.

I'm gonna write that down.

[MELANCHOLIC GUITAR PLAYING]

[KNOCKING AT DOOR]

[DOOR OPENS]

Hey. What's up?

Let's talk.

Duane!

Duane! Hold on, Duane.

Duane, listen to me. You're only gonna make it worse.

Duane! Don't do that, Duane!

[HONKING]

[HONKING]

[CAR DOOR CLOSES]

Linda!

ANTHONY: All right. Hey, how you doing?

Hi, everybody. Mike, good to see you.

Everybody good? Everybody got a drink?

How are you? Hey, Fred, give Mike a drink.

-Where are you from, guy? -MAN: Philadelphia.

Philly. I knew it.

I saw you earlier trying to cash in your chips for a cheese steak.

I knew it.

And ladies, how are you?

You're back 40th year in a row,

you still haven't broken even.

Come on, ladies, let's pick it up. Let's pick it up.

[CROWD APPLAUDING LIGHTLY]

Yeah, okay, let's look alive, people.

Come on. It's a comedy show here.

Ladies, how you doing?

Excellent seat you got here looking right at the slot machines.

All right. And how are you doing over here? How are you guys?

Very cool. Where are you from over there?

Uh-huh.

Oh, thank you.

Thanks very much.

Am I finished? I guess I'm done.

That's it for me, everybody. Goodnight. I'm just doing two minutes.

You guys can catch me here tomorrow night

performing from 8:43 to 8:45.

But it will be a different two minutes, I promise you.

You guys... Oh. What are we doing now?

Oh, great, charades, yeah.

You're a mime who's suffered a head injury.

Uh, you're...

You're the worst guy ever from Cirque du Soleil.

Uh... Oh, oh, something else here now.

Oh, uh... Ladies and gentlemen,

a big round of applause for the drunk guy.

And my roommate. He's also my roommate.

Can you believe that, ladies? Unbelievable.

And my road manager. He's my road manager, too.

Yeah, just take a walk, stroll around.

Do whatever you need to do.

Uh, no, sir...

I'm too sexy for my shirt. You are

ruining my set. Duane, man, what are you doing?

Duane, come here.

Come on, man.

[DUANE GRUNTS]

-Call the desk. Hurry up. -[DUANE SHOUTING]

[DUANE GROANING]

ANTHONY: The casino's actually got odds on this fight. It's...

[WAILING]

Robert, hurry up.

[DUANE YELLING]

It's not funny. It's not funny.

-Morning. -ANTHONY: Word up.

Why the hat?

To do a rap thing.

[HUFFING]

Fresh!

Peace.

I don't even get into it.

I'm sorry, man.

I'm really sorry.

It's all right.

It was going good before it became a duet.

Rahmn says he'll let me go on again, so...

You all right?

Yeah, I'm all right.

You're lucky they let me take you home, man.

They wanted to call the cops, send you to the hospital.

But I knew if that happened you'd probably end up in jail.

So, Tommy and I dragged your ass back here.

The fuck were you on?

About nine scotches,

and an old hit of mescaline some guy at work gave me.

Oh, Jesus.

What do I sound like on nine scotches and a hit of mescaline?

Loud. You sounded loud.

So, uh, the court thing didn't work out?

No. I lost visitation rights.

And Linda is gone.

-Jesus. -With the kids.

I'm sorry, man.

You know, I lost my job.

Yeah, Rahmn told me.

Why didn't you say something?

Oh, I didn't wanna, you know...

Mess you up before the big show.

[CHUCKLES] I figured you'd hear soon enough.

Wow. That was nice of you.

But Rahmn told me just before I went on.

I was like, "Is Duane here?"

And he's like, "Duane don't work here no more. You on."

[CHUCKLES]

Shit, I'm sorry, man.

No, it's okay. I was doing good, you know.

I actually thought I could use it, but you know,

when the alien popped out of your chest

I felt that I lost their attention.

[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

I'll get it.

You should go take a shower or something. You're scaring me.

What?

You look like shit, man. Go shower.

Just... You're having a bad hair...

Trust me. Shower up.

It'll be good for you.

Morning.

Happy day before Thanksgiving.

Thanks. Is Duane here?

-I got it. -Oh.

Oh, okay. Yeah, all right.

-Hey. -Hey.

Who is that?

Oh, that's Anthony. He's my new roommate.

Oh.

Wow. How's that working out for you?

Who the fuck knows?

So...

-So you know I'm leaving? -Yeah.

Yeah, I went by the house yesterday

and thought you'd already gone.

I'd never do that. The furniture was gone because we had to get it out

before the first of the month so Mrs. Wakely could rent it.

But I would never leave without saying goodbye.

-Where are the girls? -Bob's.

He's been offered a job in South Carolina,

and he's asked that the girls and I go with him and I said yes.

[DUANE SCOFFS]

Um...

What kind of job?

Same thing. His brother owns a gym and they're gonna co-run it.

And if it works out,

they're gonna let the bookkeeper go and I can do that.

It's not a lot of money but between both our salaries

and the child support, I think we're gonna be all right.

You know anything about bookkeeping?

Well, I've been taking night courses.

How hard could it be?

So you love this guy?

Yeah, I do.

That's good.

One thing, though. He's gotta back off Mary.

I know. I think he thinks he's being helpful.

He just doesn't really know how to be around them all the time yet,

but he's good with them and he's learning.

[MUTTERS INDISTINCTLY]

How did this happen, Linda?

Duane, look at me.

I know. I did it.

I'm sorry.

I know.

You're a good father.

And tomorrow, if you can,

it would be great if around 10:00

you can come by before we leave and say goodbye to the girls.

This is Bob's address.

When I get there I'll call you right away.

I'll give you our phone number and I'll arrange for you to visit them in a couple months.

-Thank you, Linda. -You're welcome.

Bye.

Bye.

Oh.

So, what are you gonna do for Thanksgiving?

Uh, Anthony and I are gonna go to Fred and Wally's for dinner.

You're going to Fred and Wally's. Wow.

Well, that is almost worth sticking around to see.

Yup.

Almost.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

♪ The clock's running down

♪ The team's losing ground

♪ To the opposing defense

♪ The young quarterback

♪ Waits for the snap

♪ When suddenly it all starts to make sense

♪ He's got all kinds of time

♪ He's got all kinds of time

♪ All kinds of time

♪ He's got all kinds of time

♪ All kinds of time

♪ He takes a step back

♪ He's under attack

♪ But he knows that no one can touch him now

♪ He seems so at ease

♪ A strange inner peace

♪ Is all that he's feeling somehow

♪ He's got all kinds of time

♪ He's got all kinds of time

♪ All kinds of time

♪ He's got all kinds of time

♪ All kinds of time

♪ He thinks of his mother

♪ He thinks of his bride-to-be

♪ He thinks of his father

♪ His two younger brothers

♪ Gathered around the widescreen TV

♪ He looks to the left

♪ He looks to the right

♪ And there in a golden ray of light

♪ Is his open man

♪ Just like he planned

♪ The whole world is his tonight

[INAUDIBLE]

♪ He's got all kinds of time

♪ He's got all kinds of time

♪ All kinds of time

♪ He's got all kinds of time

♪ All kinds of time