Original subtitles

Oh, you're right. I can do it.

Barney, you're a man, reach it for straws.

That line of yours is petered out.

The gold is gone.

Now, you got to start getting used to the idea.

Well, I ain't arguing against it.

Well, then sell them, I mean.

Let me take a little copper, I can find it.

Call the money I'm going to give you a grub steak.

Can you go prior to the

grub?

Well, I'm going to get you a grub steak.

I'm going to get you a grub steak.

I'm going to get you a grub steak.

I'm going to get you a grub steak.

I'm going to get you a grub steak.

I'm going to get you a grub steak.

Call the money I'm going to give you a grub steak.

Can you go prospecting again?

You make it on the spike, Barney.

I took me near 30 years to make this one.

I ain't got that much time left.

Besides, I promised Horst Clark right.

I'd wait and sell in the mine.

I'm a man who does what he says.

You know what I can't.

Barney, I don't see why you have to.

I said I'd meet Horst in front of the freight

off to 11 o'clock.

And I'm going to do it.

He's got something he wants to show me.

Papa.

That's what I have?

Mr. Higgins.

Papa, have you seen Horst today yet?

We're waiting for him now.

Well, when you do see him, don't you

forget to invite him to supper tonight.

You hear?

I'll do that.

Fine girl, but there's sure a lot of her.

Got a heart set and getting married,

even if she has to drag the groom to the altar by the year.

Good morning.

I'm here, Horst.

Cartwright, what's this nonsense I hear about you not

more than Barney and Sally's mind to me?

Well, I hate that I don't want to sell it to you.

Just a lie.

I didn't want me and no hurry to sell it to anybody.

But it's no good to, huh?

The gold is gone.

I can make a small profit off of the copper

if I get my equipment in there now.

Time is money, and I can't afford to waste it.

Well, I'm just asking for a couple of days.

What's wrong with that?

Why wait at all?

Look, Mr. Higgins, now you made the survey,

and I'm sure you're a fine mining engineer.

But there might just be a vein in there you missed.

That's impossible.

Well, all I'm asking is a chance to see what I can do.

You know, engineer, what do you think you can do?

Don't be on the way.

Make fun of me, Ian.

Just hang around a minute.

Then take a minute to be for sure.

Wait, man, Horst!

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.

Which one of these men?

There are yours.

You had an order coming from the low-star matter

factor company, didn't you?

Yeah, but I was just figuring out one little box maybe.

Well, they are yours.

You're lucky he didn't get stole before he got here.

Anything as valuable as this is quite a temptation.

Mode star manufacturing gold detector.

Gold detector.

What is this?

Just what it says is gold detector.

Party, we will find that gold.

Boys, you're now looking at the president of the Hoss

Cartwright gold detector company incorporated.

recefollow.

You know any stuff back in San Francisco?

Yep.

I'll get this one in.

Hey, Pa.

Hmm?

Take a look at those.

Mickey?

Steve.

Hmm.

Would not expect any freight, you know?

No.

In the way he's acting, there he doesn't want us to know about.

I suppose we should respect the man's right to his privacy.

Yeah, we should.

Robin, Roger.

And this is our

one tower

unstositioning

confirms

rug

column

Pack

you

look

it

and

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delay

iren

start

manufacturing

He's done it again.

Just a dad-burned minute, Joseph.

Now, you hold on now.

Is this?

Well, it's a little sideline I thought I'd go into.

I've seen this thing advertised, and I thought it ordered me one of them.

Well, for all the idiotic ideas.

Now, wait a minute, wait a minute.

Now, you know, I'm a firm believer in free enterprise.

Just as long as it doesn't interfere with you performing your choice.

Oh, no.

I guarantee you, then.

You go in San Francisco and enjoy yourself and join me.

Take care of everything.

Fine.

We'll see you when you get back.

See?

He really picks the dandies, doesn't he?

Well, Joseph, just remember one thing.

They laughed at the football and then a steamboat.

And I have the strangest feeling they're going to laugh at horse in this.

Go to that.

Let's go to that stage.

Go to that stage.

Gold detector.

You know it won't work.

I won't hurt to give horse a chance.

I'll get it, Papa.

Hello, Hall.

I'm just about doing your job right on air.

How are you?

I'm just telling Higgins I'm going to give that gold detector a chance to show us what it can do.

Sit yourself down, horse.

Make yourself comfortable.

You have to do all this just for me.

I like doing things for you, House.

Yes, sir.

Good morning.

I sure hope you brought your appetite.

It's up.

I'll be ready before you know it.

Yeah.

Thanks a lot, Miss Casey.

Barney, you ain't already sold out to Higgins, you're heavy.

No, I've been waiting for you like I promised.

I'm getting tired of waiting.

Yeah, well, that's sort of what I want to talk to you about.

I'm going to need two or three more days.

Four or five at the most.

What's the delay?

Well, you've seen the boxes that my gold detector came in, right?

See, I thought it'd come already put together just in one box, and as it turns out, I've got to put it together.

And there's a terrible amount of parts, and it's all kind of complicated.

Gold detector.

I find it nonsense.

You know it won't work.

Of course it'll work.

It's guaranteed.

All right, what's the principle behind it?

Well, I don't rightly know, you see.

I ain't got to the fine-prettin instructions yet.

Well, now they wouldn't sell a thing like that if it wouldn't work with date.

Oh, yeah, they would.

They'd sell anything as long as they fool around the bath.

Well, wait a minute.

Now, you really don't expect that device of yours to sense.

That is to detect gold through a distance of solid rock, do you?

That's what it's supposed to do.

And I think we ought to give it a chance, don't you, Barney?

I gave you my word you could.

All right, I'll be generous.

I'll give you a week to get your device together to make your search.

A week that ought to do it fine, Barney.

Now, at the end of that week, I'll expect you to sign your mind over to me.

You'll forget the whole thing.

All right.

It's a deal.

I'm going to hold it to that.

Hey, I sure hope that thing will work.

Don't worry about it, Barney. Of course it'll work.

It's guaranteed.

Now, if you gentlemen would just come to the table...

My old mama's case.

What, just get away and sit down, honey.

What a feed you, dumplings.

Oh, this is nothing, House.

One of these days, I'll fix you.

I'm real me, you.

Good morning, Judge.

Hey, it's your weekend.

I'm going to take care of you.

I'm going to share my supper with you, but there's hardly enough food for one.

I'm not hungry.

I hope you have a job for me.

I have no work since the mind shut down.

That's the reason there's only enough food for one.

I've got a job for you.

The gold detector.

Say, you're... if I were you, this would worry me.

I don't have a work.

I can't.

But only fools take chances when it's not necessary. Yes, sir.

Tonight, court service.

beit sealing his right hand.

Give me a hand.

I ain't got an embossie.

Sir, I wanted a Running A Man.

On!

You're right!

Here you go.

Here you go.

I got it. I got it.

Come on, come on.

What is it?

It worked.

It scared him awesome.

I scared him up.

The thieves.

The thieves are going to steal my gold detector.

I'm going to steal my gold detector.

I'm going to steal my gold detector.

I'm going to steal my gold detector.

I'm going to steal my gold detector.

See, I planted that shotgun over there.

Hey, what are you out of your mind?

Suppose I would have walked in here.

You could have blown my brain out.

Well, not unless you're 18 feet tall.

Now, Joseph had worked perfect.

He had shot the cans down, scared the thieves off,

woke us up. It was perfect.

Hey, you're kind of a genius.

Yeah.

Well, I want to steal this gold detector.

I want to steal this gold detector.

I want to steal this gold detector.

I want to steal this gold detector.

Hey, George.

Hey, George.

Hey, Orange.

Orange.

Oh, it's blue, honey. Yeah.

You know what I think about dynamite?

Yeah.

You're a little bit white.

I don't know anything about it.

You better take care of this.

Hey, George.

Hey, Daddy.

Hey, George.

Dee Dee.

Hello, house.

Oh, not even Miss Casey.

Hi, Solid Joan Road.

He told me what happened last night.

Yeah, that ain't all the troubles I'm having.

I didn't follow these instructions exactly like they say,

and it just don't look right.

Don't look at anything like the picture.

No, that's what I mean.

After putting it all together, just

by these instructions and then the picture here

don't look nothing like.

Rauch is in cake.

You come right over here and set yourself down.

Rest your weary bones and look what I got for you today.

You too.

Ready.

We're not having working a little too hard.

Licky.

Hot dogs.

Boy, that sure does look good.

Yes, sir.

Hey, it is good, do you?

Oh, well, you do all this just for me.

You think about it, little wild house.

Pretty thing it'll come to you.

Well, what I meant to say was, Miss Casey, I.

Oh, come in.

Come right in.

I'm leaving for a Mr. Hoss cut right.

Yeah, well, that's me, how are you, sir?

My name is Albert McNally.

I'm field representative for the load

star manufacturing company.

I'm real happy to meet you, Mr. McNally.

It's here at Miss Webb.

Hello.

The company sent me by to see if I could assist you in any way.

You sure can.

Right here's the gold detector.

I ain't got it all put together yet, but there she is.

So I see.

Would you mind?

No, you go right ahead, please.

Here's the instructions right there.

Now, it seems that you've made a mistake at the beginning.

So if you don't mind helping me, we'll just assemble it

and start over.

Yes, sir, anything you say.

They're still out, huh?

I do what you tell me.

I watch them all the time.

Say, your Higgins?

They added day and night.

And then, Mr. McNulty, he stays at the pendant, sir.

I peek into the barn any time of the night,

and he's working all the time.

Well, if you'd have done your job,

there wouldn't be a machine.

It shouldn't go into a car, sir.

This time, right there is one people.

Is horse working out, too?

See?

And the senorita web she brings food all the time, and she works.

She holds things up, and she holds things down.

It's a fake.

Why, you can't build a machine here.

To find gold?

This is the case of the assumed economic possibility.

So you're Higgins?

They are building it.

But it won't work.

I don't know much about these things,

but I don't know if it does work.

However good, she's good.

Get out!

Don't cheat.

You'll see it when Barney and Casey sees it.

Now, get on over there.

Well, why are you being so silly about this?

You doubting Thomas, get over there.

Barney and Casey, you're about to witness something.

Mr. McNulty here is going to have a few words

to explain how the great gold detector works.

Mr. McNulty.

It has long been suspected that certain invisible rays

emanate from gold, greatly affecting human beings,

causing excitement, lust, abborous.

The gold detector is a device which

detects this reaction in human beings,

thereby revealing the presence of gold.

Mr. Cartwright, if you'll be good enough

to help me remove the covering.

Barney, you and Casey go to see something now.

There it is.

Never see anything like it.

I ain't never.

I ain't never neither.

I ain't never neither either.

You gotta be kidding.

Tasty something.

We ain't kidding.

Mr. Cartwright, if you'll be good enough to take these

in your hands.

Not me.

Yeah, you.

You've been the one who's snickering out

us all the time.

We figured we'd work with you and work with anybody.

Take them.

Thumbulator on.

Thumbulator on.

Transferizer engaged.

Transferizer engaged.

Motivator, functioning.

Motivator, functioning.

You are now fully activated.

Great.

What do I do now?

Walk about as if seeking for bold.

In the yard?

This is ridiculous.

It's ridiculous.

There isn't any gold around here.

What did you say, Joseph?

I said the whole thing is ridiculous.

There isn't any gold around here.

It works.

It works.

It works.

It works.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

Now, what do you say?

Ouch.

Well, let's see there an overactive motivator

or a fractured thumbulator.

I'm afraid we've got a good deal of work ahead of us.

Pass it to me now, please.

My Amazon helper, does this look like a transferizer part to you?

You quick-caller me on Amazon.

All I ask is that you give careful attention to your work.

All I ask is you to stop picking on me.

Oh, boy.

You do that again?

He keeps calling me an Amazon.

A simple statement of an obvious fact.

Oh.

Well, I must say, Mr. McNulty, you got about as much

diplomas as a hot brand in there, Aaron.

Diplomacy is just a nice word for deception,

and deception is not a part of the McNulty vocabulary,

which leads me to confess that I cannot deceive you any more

than I could casey my Amazon helper.

I misled you when I told you that I was a field representative

for the LoadStar Manufacturing Company.

You mean you ain't?

Well, yes, but I should have added

that I'm also the president, vice president, treasurer,

mechanic, in short, I am the LoadStar Manufacturing Company.

I'll be dulled gone.

I ain't never met a whole company before.

I built this gold detector in the woodshed

and back of my landlady's boarding house.

You mean you built this thing all by yourself?

Why did you sell it to me?

Dead's lack of money.

I was forced to place that ad in the paper.

You must have gotten hundreds of answers.

I was just a lucky one, huh?

As a matter of fact, you were the only one.

Seems nobody else could believe that there could be

such a thing as a gold detector.

Well, it just shows you how stupid people will be.

There it is, and it works.

Yeah, it works.

But you know something?

I don't really know why it works.

He, you got to be joshing.

No, I can only deduce that it works on rays emanating from gold,

but I can't prove it.

Well, I can't prove.

The sun's going to come up in the morning either.

But I...

Ah!

Ah!

Ah!

General Storekeeper said you ordered these.

We saw it off to bring them out.

Great day in my morning.

Do it.

Do it work?

It doesn't work.

It works so well at good stack.

That's how good it works.

Well, why, you better be careful, horse.

Somebody don't steal it.

I don't worry about that.

See that shotgun I got planted over there?

Well, those are the parts that ain't affected.

Won't be more than an hour or a horse.

I'll have this thing as good as new.

You saw it right down there.

Well, let's thank you a bunch for bringing them out.

We got to get to work and get them to sing.

I know you boys will understand.

If you just excuse us, we've got us a whole bunch of work to do.

So we'll see you boys later.

So long.

Ooh!

Did you see that?

Oh, Satan's clutching and grabbing at me, but I'm fighting him off.

Yeah, well, he's been screaming and hauling my ass too, Cass, but I ain't going to listen

to him.

We fought temptation and we walked it.

Sure makes a man feel good.

Well, he ain't going to bother us no more.

No, sir.

Did you see how he danged that gold deck of torat in front of our face?

Just like the snake did to Apple?

But we see through his evil temptation.

I'm proud of you, Cass.

I'm really proud of you.

Quit making that noise.

I'm making any noise.

You're making a noise.

Oh, you sound just like a techie, Holland.

Oh, come on, let's get going.

Wait a minute.

I thought he was going to fight, see?

Now, they ain't everybody always perfect.

Now, go on, get in.

Wait, wait now.

What's stronger?

I'll get the gun.

Hey!

It's pretty.

It sure is.

I just sort of hate to steal anything.

It's a pretty from all the horse.

Well, old Satan didn't say nothing about borrowing.

Yes, still he just don't seem right.

Well, you want to get rich, don't you?

Well, sure do.

I'm getting tired as can be of being poor and having to work for 11.

All we're going to do is buy it for a while until we find it up gold.

And then we're going to bring it back.

Maybe if I was to have another nippy, it'd sound better.

Yeah?

Yeah, it sounds better now.

Shh.

Let's get to work.

Be careful, be careful.

Oh, boy, am I glad to see you.

I miss Casey.

You're a little early today, ain't you?

I got bad news for you.

Papa's going to sell the mine.

Well, he's flat broke.

Higgins is offering him something that amounts to a real good

grub steak.

Higgins changed his mind about waiting for a week.

I mean, he says, Papa's got to make the deal today

and forget the whole thing.

Well, today's the day we're going to know

we've got the gold detector in shape to go.

Is that right?

That's right, Albert's got it all working just beautifully.

So why don't we get it on out to your poor man right now, huh?

Right.

I'll take you to the shop.

It's gone.

Somebody's done a touch.

See what you find.

That ain't no way to do it.

You got to get the steam up first.

Well, if I ain't drawing, it ain't getting no coal oil.

You get up there and take care of them wires up there.

And I'll take care of my stuff back here and quit

screaming the hollering at me.

Dang it.

Hey, Cash, I think she's waking up.

x 5

Oh, yeah! Whoa!

I can't hold him!

So, I don't know whether they used to look anymore or not.

They ain't no telling where they are with it.

I can't hold him!

Simon and Cash, how could you do a thing like this to me?

Steel from me.

We fought temptation, horse, on a clear fault, goodness we did.

But, all Satan ended up ripping us.

We was going to bring it right back, horse.

As soon as we struck it, red, that's right.

I'm glad you think it's right.

I don't know.

Have to take it back to Mr. McNaughton.

Let him work it.

Come on.

You think it's going to work?

I hope so.

I wish I had a couple of days to make the fine adjustments.

I don't want him to sell out yet, but he can suppress him pretty hard.

I'm very up above you.

How much time we got?

Take at least an hour.

I'll give a seat step. You stay working.

Here comes right right in the gold.

Here comes right right in the gold.

Hey, Joe, let me get you a horse for me, will you?

Robert, can you get it all fired up and make all the adjustments?

I'll go up here and see where the best place to look, yes.

Oh, Marty, we're the best place to start hunting.

Well, now, we measured it out, and it's right between these two stakes.

Dead ends over there and leads the main shaft right here, and she's 100 feet straight down.

And you're going to stand on top of the ground,

and you're going to feel down around there 100 feet with that thing.

That's right.

I thought I heard everything.

You go ahead and laugh, Mr. Higgins, but you just remember, they laughed at Fulton, too.

Now, who's he?

Who is Fulton?

Who is Fulton?

Yeah.

If you're sick, or you ain't know who Fulton is, that blame if I'm going to explain it to you.

Robert, you about got to race?

I can't promise anything. It's been jogged around so much.

Well, let's give her a whirl in here, huh?

All right, folks, let's all back up. Now, we're going to watch the show.

Ha-ha-ha-ha.

Marty, don't you worry about nothing.

It's going to work. I can guarantee you.

How so proud of you.

All right, Robert. Any time.

Thumbulator on.

Thumbulator on.

Transferizer engaged.

Transferator engaged.

Motorbander.

Functioning.

Pause. You're now fully activated.

Here, winter boys.

Well, how about it, Oz? You starting to tickle?

No.

Turn it off.

You sure try, boys.

And I sure thank you for it, but I guess the machine just doesn't work, does it?

Well, I don't reckon we know for sure, Barney.

Maybe it's like Mr. Higgins said. Maybe there's just no gold here.

Gentlemen, I'm going to go all together round.

I got something to show you.

Hoss, you're right when you say there is any gold here, but that silly machine here wouldn't have found it if they had been.

Now, I'm going to put a stop to this once and for all.

You, uh, you passed over this spot here a couple times, didn't you?

That's right.

I don't want anybody here to think that burn Higgins isn't a fair man.

But I'll just give you that, show.

I buried this poke here this morning.

Take a good long look at it, my gullible friend. That's gold. That's pure gold.

Boy, this is, this is ridiculous.

Barney, what's wrong with you? Do I have to beat you over the head with the truth or something?

Did I ask you to take my word for it? Didn't I prove that that full contraption can't find gold?

You didn't do no such a dead burn thing. All you proved was it is broke.

Now, if it didn't detect the gold you put right there in it, it proved one thing to me and that was his out of whack.

That's all.

Will you talk to your brother?

I think he's got a point.

Oh, you won't give up even when you know you're like, why?

Because it's the only hope I got left when a man's down in his last hope he can't afford to be choosy.

Well, I'm down to my last bit of patience. Delay his money.

Look, Mr. Higgins, all we're asking is just one more chance to try our gold detector. That's all.

But you said yourself the gold thing was on the fence.

Dad burned it, it can be fixed.

Yeah, so there's still a chance and the least you can do is give us one more week like you promised.

That's right. I've given you more enough time already.

And if that mine isn't signed over to me by noon tomorrow,

the whole deal is on.

And that's that.

Hey, I can't stall him any longer, Horsesh. I'm sorry.

Yeah. We got a problem, Barney, but at least we got into noon tomorrow.

Casey and Albert are working on that gold detector right now.

If they can find the trouble and get it fixed, we still just might make it up.

You'll go to jail for this. You bet you will.

But why? You are alive. What have I gone to go to jail for?

You're holding me against my will.

Oh, you are my guest.

Bunk, you have ducked at us. You say it, you're the only one.

And I say it in mine. I demand that you release me.

My word on the gold detector has not been ate.

You'll be my guest until tomorrow afternoon and then I will let you go.

Albert? Casey?

Huh. It's funny.

Brig more than he could have got off to it.

I don't know. Albert was pretty broken up about this thing and I work in this afternoon.

Maybe he just quit on it.

No, no chance. He maybe don't look like much, but that magnolia is quite a man.

Well, if he's not the kind of quit, then maybe somebody grabbed him.

Hey, yeah. Come on, let's go find him.

Yeah, hold on. Let's think for a minute.

You got till noon tomorrow afternoon to get that gold detector machine working.

I'm not going to be able to track anybody in the dark.

So, how many chance do you think you can get this thing going?

Oh, well, brother.

I got the dog going and she'll give it a try.

Well, I'll help you work on it tonight and I'll see if I can find Albert and Casey in the morning.

What? Sounds all right, but...

No, what's about it? That's the only chance we got.

All right. Let's get with him.

You work hard on putting machine, Mr. Hoss.

You know he'll get tired.

Yeah, he ain't got time to eat, Hossie.

Funny machine looked like he's there already.

Yeah, yeah, it's working all right.

Hey, hey, hey.

I got two parts left over.

Four-stage stabilator.

Try a thermostatic habe-scare.

You seen Little Joe yet?

Oh, no, he ain't no companion.

That bird.

Well, I don't want to get it done. It looks like I want to do it by myself.

Give me a hand, will you?

Mm. Mm. Mm.

Say, I'm thirsty.

You can't keep us tight up here without food or drink.

That's right. It's not healthy either.

No, I...

I must say, Miss Webb, I find you very staunch.

Hurry.

Who had not tired of you?

You saved me the devil.

You can have the water you want.

And then I'll tear you up again this time.

Much more tightly.

Easy, brother.

Drop it.

See me all right? You want to be my any side.

Get out of here!

Get out of here!

What happened to you? Where'd you go?

I'd tell you what you wouldn't believe it.

Well, you can go back in now if you want. They don't want to fight anymore.

You two better get on with the goldmine.

I was there with a gold detector. There's not much time left.

See these two getting to town into a cell.

You think he can handle it alone?

I'll do my best.

Albert, you were wonderful.

Oh, it was nothing, just a simple matter of leverage.

Go on, hurry up, you run out of time.

I hear K.C. McDonough is gone.

Now come.

Don't worry, Barney, little Joe's out after him. You'll find him.

Without your better being here, we might as well call this time since off.

No, no, no. We got at least half an hour before noon.

Yeah. Do you think you'll do any good without Big Melty?

Well, I know we got to try. Come on, Barney, here.

You take these things, just walk around with them.

I'll run the levers and engage you.

We're going.

This machine ain't going to work. We might just work.

Well, you're ready to sell. I'm ready to buy.

You got the deed?

Yes, I have. Right in my pocket.

Here, here, hold these things. I'll give it.

So you're finally going to believe when I say there's no gold in this mine.

Hey, hey, how's that? Here he's gold.

There he is. Go look at him.

Take it after. He ain't ever seen work.

We're ready. We reach. We reach.

We reach. Come down. He can't wait.

Whoa!

Hey, Higgins, go ahead.

Bring your life over me, will you, huh? Try to steal a gold iPhone.

I'll be here with bolt over you. I'll break you in a minute, pieces.

I'll be here with you.

I'll be here with you.

I'll be here with you.

I'll be here with you.

Well, you have a good trip now.

Well, I'm going to film it.

Thank you.

Mrs. McNaughton.

All right, wait.

Bye!

My cannonize him to get married.

It's kind of nice spending your honeymoon all the capital's of Europe.

Me making it possible by making them rich, find that gold farm.

That wasn't a little short either.

You know, I've been thinking about that machine that you...

I'm not so sure that gold detector found that gold,

but I do know one thing.

You sure find out that Bernie Higgins was lying and he ended up in jail?

Yeah.

Are you thinking what I'm saying?

I mean, you think it's possible to invent a machine?

Oh, detector?

Live detector?

Joseph, I got a bunch of spare parts.

I think we got enough for it to make a change.

It'll make us famous. It'll make us more famous.

Watch his name, full of folks!

Make us rich!

Please!

Oh, boy!

You're a good guy.

You're a good guy.

You're a good guy.

You're a good guy.