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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:10,010 --> 00:00:11,976 Good morning, Marshal. Morning. 2 00:00:12,012 --> 00:00:13,289 Could you tell me where I can find 3 00:00:13,313 --> 00:00:14,957 the offices of your newspaper? 4 00:00:14,981 --> 00:00:16,626 Turn at the first street, about a half a block down. 5 00:00:16,650 --> 00:00:17,782 You can't miss it. 6 00:00:17,817 --> 00:00:19,117 Thank you kindly. 7 00:00:20,887 --> 00:00:22,320 Hey. Can I help you? 8 00:00:24,458 --> 00:00:26,591 Maybe the boy needs a hand. 9 00:00:26,627 --> 00:00:28,505 Oh, the Cartwrights can take care of themselves. 10 00:00:28,529 --> 00:00:30,440 Sounds like he's getting the worst of it. 11 00:00:30,464 --> 00:00:32,131 Yeah, sounds like he is. 12 00:00:35,036 --> 00:00:37,869 Looks like somebody in there is hard to convince. 13 00:00:40,607 --> 00:00:43,775 Say, uh... you are the marshal here, aren't you? 14 00:00:43,810 --> 00:00:45,088 That's right, stranger. 15 00:00:45,112 --> 00:00:47,379 Well, shouldn't you go in there and break it up? 16 00:00:47,415 --> 00:00:50,416 I reckon not. People in this town mind their own business. 17 00:00:50,451 --> 00:00:51,483 Get out of the way. 18 00:00:51,518 --> 00:00:53,251 I'm telling you... 19 00:00:53,287 --> 00:00:54,652 No business in that poker game. 20 00:00:54,688 --> 00:00:56,466 Hoss, I told you to stay out of it! 21 00:00:56,490 --> 00:00:58,590 Listen, Little Joe. Pa told me to take care of you 22 00:00:58,625 --> 00:00:59,902 and that's exactly what I aim to do. 23 00:00:59,926 --> 00:01:01,671 Yeah, well, I can take care of myself. 24 00:01:01,695 --> 00:01:03,628 Little Joe, you get up on that pony right now 25 00:01:03,663 --> 00:01:05,597 or else I'm just going to naturally clobber you. 26 00:01:10,003 --> 00:01:11,570 Who's the big fella? 27 00:01:11,605 --> 00:01:14,165 Oh, him? He's another Cartwright. 28 00:01:20,247 --> 00:01:21,479 I'm new in Virginia City. 29 00:01:21,515 --> 00:01:22,981 So I noticed. 30 00:01:23,017 --> 00:01:24,283 It's quite a town. 31 00:01:24,318 --> 00:01:26,251 Who are the Cartwrights? 32 00:01:26,287 --> 00:01:28,698 Oh, I reckon you'll find that out soon enough. 33 00:01:28,722 --> 00:01:30,466 Haven't asked you who you are, have I? 34 00:01:30,490 --> 00:01:32,390 No, that's right, you haven't. 35 00:01:32,426 --> 00:01:34,871 Maybe you shouldn't ask so many questions. 36 00:01:34,895 --> 00:01:36,572 Like I said, this is the kind of town 37 00:01:36,596 --> 00:01:39,156 where folks mind their own business. 38 00:02:38,892 --> 00:02:40,959 Whoa. Hey, you! 39 00:02:40,994 --> 00:02:43,027 Hold this horse for me, my good man! 40 00:02:43,063 --> 00:02:44,196 Yes, sir. 41 00:02:44,231 --> 00:02:46,231 I won't be long, my dear. 42 00:02:54,741 --> 00:02:56,975 Mind telling me whose, uh, horse I'm holding, ma'am? 43 00:02:57,011 --> 00:02:59,777 Well, you haven't been around Virginia City very long! 44 00:02:59,813 --> 00:03:01,313 Couple of hours, that's all. 45 00:03:01,348 --> 00:03:03,715 Judge Jeremy C. Billington. 46 00:03:03,750 --> 00:03:05,384 Oh, is that so? 47 00:03:05,419 --> 00:03:07,352 The "C" stands for Clarence. 48 00:03:07,388 --> 00:03:09,855 Judge Jeremy Clarence Billington. 49 00:03:09,890 --> 00:03:12,958 Judge Jeremy Clarence Billington? 50 00:03:12,993 --> 00:03:15,160 He's the judge here in Virginia City. 51 00:03:15,195 --> 00:03:17,696 Yes, so I've noticed. 52 00:03:17,731 --> 00:03:19,764 I'm his wife. 53 00:03:22,236 --> 00:03:25,237 The judge says I'm a big help to him in his career. 54 00:03:25,272 --> 00:03:27,872 Oh, I can see that for myself, ma'am. 55 00:03:27,907 --> 00:03:30,675 "Virginia City Superior Court Judge's many friends 56 00:03:30,711 --> 00:03:34,979 "in Virginia City have prevai... 57 00:03:35,015 --> 00:03:37,416 "have prevailed upon him to again seek office 58 00:03:37,451 --> 00:03:40,319 in the coming election as Judge of the Superior Court." 59 00:03:40,354 --> 00:03:42,721 Hmm... Very nice. 60 00:03:42,756 --> 00:03:43,888 There you are, my good man. 61 00:03:43,924 --> 00:03:45,401 Oh, thank you, sir. Thank you. 62 00:03:45,425 --> 00:03:48,693 Minnie, how many times have I spoken to you 63 00:03:48,728 --> 00:03:50,595 about talking to strange men? 64 00:03:50,630 --> 00:03:53,531 Oh, I wasn't talking to him. 65 00:03:53,566 --> 00:03:56,034 He was talking to me. 66 00:03:58,105 --> 00:03:59,745 Ya! 67 00:04:15,522 --> 00:04:19,124 If you're... If you're trying to sell shares 68 00:04:19,159 --> 00:04:21,538 in your diggings, Old Timer, I'm not interested. 69 00:04:21,562 --> 00:04:22,972 Well, as a matter of fact, you're looking at 70 00:04:22,996 --> 00:04:24,929 the most unsuccessful prospector 71 00:04:24,965 --> 00:04:27,098 that ever blistered his hands on a pick handle. 72 00:04:27,134 --> 00:04:29,045 Then what brings you to a newspaper office? 73 00:04:29,069 --> 00:04:30,647 Your letter offering me a job. 74 00:04:30,671 --> 00:04:32,638 What's your name, friend? 75 00:04:32,673 --> 00:04:33,972 Sam Clemens. 76 00:04:34,007 --> 00:04:35,807 Sam Clemens! 77 00:04:35,843 --> 00:04:38,710 I figured as long as I was starving, I might as well do it 78 00:04:38,745 --> 00:04:41,245 sitting on my backside at a job I know something about. 79 00:04:41,281 --> 00:04:43,092 You didn't strike it rich, huh? 80 00:04:43,116 --> 00:04:44,950 Good looking press. 81 00:04:44,985 --> 00:04:46,596 No. All I did was prove how little 82 00:04:46,620 --> 00:04:48,465 an Eastern tenderfoot knows about mining. 83 00:04:48,489 --> 00:04:50,088 Sam, it's good to see you. 84 00:04:50,123 --> 00:04:52,023 And I think you're going to like Virginia City. 85 00:04:52,058 --> 00:04:54,471 Well, I've been, uh, studying some of the people. 86 00:04:54,495 --> 00:04:55,827 How often do you publish? 87 00:04:55,863 --> 00:04:57,428 Every day. 88 00:04:57,464 --> 00:04:58,608 Every day? 89 00:04:58,632 --> 00:04:59,776 In a little one-horse town 90 00:04:59,800 --> 00:05:01,511 2,000 miles west of the Mississippi? 91 00:05:01,535 --> 00:05:02,701 Sam, the way we see it, 92 00:05:02,736 --> 00:05:05,470 the Mississippi is 2,000 miles east of Virginia City. 93 00:05:07,274 --> 00:05:09,752 Sam, you're looking at the only Bible 94 00:05:09,776 --> 00:05:11,854 the miners around here have any time to read. 95 00:05:11,878 --> 00:05:13,111 And what if they can't read? 96 00:05:13,146 --> 00:05:15,258 Then they get someone who can read it to them. 97 00:05:15,282 --> 00:05:16,581 I like that. 98 00:05:16,616 --> 00:05:18,149 I think I'm going to like this town. 99 00:05:18,185 --> 00:05:20,818 It's a city. Virginia City. 100 00:05:20,854 --> 00:05:23,288 Virginia City... 101 00:05:23,323 --> 00:05:28,093 A noisy, rough lady with a lot of pride. 102 00:05:28,128 --> 00:05:30,161 I think I'm going to like her. 103 00:05:36,803 --> 00:05:38,736 Over here! 104 00:05:50,617 --> 00:05:52,050 What are you doing here, old man? 105 00:05:52,085 --> 00:05:53,385 Just eating my supper. 106 00:05:53,420 --> 00:05:54,831 You mean drinking it, don't you? 107 00:05:54,855 --> 00:05:56,165 You be mighty careful of that campfire 108 00:05:56,189 --> 00:05:58,167 and as soon as you get through eating, you clear out of here. 109 00:05:58,191 --> 00:05:59,858 I mean to, mister. 110 00:05:59,893 --> 00:06:02,004 We've got a lot of cattle here on the Ponderosa. 111 00:06:02,028 --> 00:06:03,740 If that fire got out of control, we'd be in trouble. 112 00:06:03,764 --> 00:06:05,496 Reckon I know that. 113 00:06:05,532 --> 00:06:07,176 Anyhow, I'm just passing through. 114 00:06:07,200 --> 00:06:10,435 Well, the next time, you just go around, you hear? Come on. 115 00:06:15,875 --> 00:06:19,076 High and mighty. 116 00:06:19,112 --> 00:06:20,445 Think I ain't got no sense. 117 00:06:20,480 --> 00:06:23,315 Telling me to put out a fire. 118 00:06:23,350 --> 00:06:27,285 Them Cartwrights will get their comeuppance someday. 119 00:06:46,072 --> 00:06:50,108 Must be the spirit of some Indian come back to earth. 120 00:06:50,143 --> 00:06:51,309 Come on, Mule. 121 00:06:51,344 --> 00:06:53,277 Let's get out of here. 122 00:06:56,883 --> 00:07:00,329 Things aren't always just what they seem in this town, Sam. 123 00:07:00,353 --> 00:07:01,920 I'm learning fast! 124 00:07:01,955 --> 00:07:03,800 The Cartwrights like to fight. 125 00:07:03,824 --> 00:07:06,091 Judge Billington's word is law, 126 00:07:06,126 --> 00:07:07,726 and his wife... 127 00:07:07,761 --> 00:07:08,972 Say, where did she come from, anyway? 128 00:07:08,996 --> 00:07:11,162 She was in the chorus of a traveling girlie show. 129 00:07:11,197 --> 00:07:12,563 Oh, that figures. 130 00:07:12,599 --> 00:07:15,433 You know, I, uh... I might write a series of articles 131 00:07:15,468 --> 00:07:17,802 on the colorful citizens of Virginia City. 132 00:07:17,838 --> 00:07:19,983 Which would land you in jail, or up on Boot Hill. 133 00:07:20,007 --> 00:07:21,183 Let's get back to the paper. 134 00:07:21,207 --> 00:07:22,841 Right. 135 00:07:27,080 --> 00:07:28,958 Quite a lot of characters you got here. 136 00:07:28,982 --> 00:07:30,526 What kind of things they like to read? 137 00:07:30,550 --> 00:07:32,261 Oh, anything, as long as you keep it humorous. 138 00:07:32,285 --> 00:07:35,286 These men see death and disaster in the mines every day. 139 00:07:35,321 --> 00:07:37,333 They want to read something that will make them laugh. 140 00:07:37,357 --> 00:07:38,901 And make them forget that maybe tomorrow 141 00:07:38,925 --> 00:07:41,104 they'll be dead or broke or both. 142 00:07:41,128 --> 00:07:42,360 That's right. 143 00:07:51,905 --> 00:07:54,050 Well, it's about time you fellas got home. 144 00:07:54,074 --> 00:07:55,284 What's new in town? 145 00:07:55,308 --> 00:07:56,975 Dead as a tomb, Pa. 146 00:07:57,010 --> 00:07:58,209 Yeah. Nothing happening. 147 00:07:58,244 --> 00:08:00,544 Yeah? Hey. 148 00:08:10,591 --> 00:08:12,401 Bunch of men camped in High Valley. 149 00:08:12,425 --> 00:08:13,603 What are they doing there? 150 00:08:13,627 --> 00:08:15,038 I don't know. Let's find out. 151 00:08:15,062 --> 00:08:16,672 All right. Come on, let's go. 152 00:08:49,062 --> 00:08:50,782 All right, hurry it up. 153 00:08:54,935 --> 00:08:57,435 There they come! 154 00:08:57,470 --> 00:08:59,771 Get that stuff in the wagon quick. 155 00:09:15,489 --> 00:09:17,900 Now, what are you men doing here? 156 00:09:17,924 --> 00:09:19,101 Wait a minute, Cartwright. 157 00:09:19,125 --> 00:09:20,403 We don't want any trouble. 158 00:09:20,427 --> 00:09:22,894 You're trespassing on private property, Mister. 159 00:09:22,929 --> 00:09:25,107 Well, you fellows own so much land around here, 160 00:09:25,131 --> 00:09:27,309 it's kind of hard to figure where your property ends 161 00:09:27,333 --> 00:09:28,877 and the rest of the world begins. 162 00:09:28,901 --> 00:09:31,013 Well, if you have any trouble figuring it, Mister, 163 00:09:31,037 --> 00:09:32,448 we'll be happy to oblige you. 164 00:09:32,472 --> 00:09:33,749 Oh, we're pulling out. 165 00:09:33,773 --> 00:09:35,684 Yeah, what were you doing here in the first place? 166 00:09:35,708 --> 00:09:37,286 Doing a little sightseeing. 167 00:09:37,310 --> 00:09:40,723 Thought one day you might want to sell off some of this land. 168 00:09:40,747 --> 00:09:42,347 What have you got in the wagon? 169 00:09:42,382 --> 00:09:44,382 Just some prospecting equipment. 170 00:09:44,417 --> 00:09:46,695 Oh, let's not hold them up, boys. 171 00:09:46,719 --> 00:09:48,531 The man said they were moving on. 172 00:09:48,555 --> 00:09:50,855 The next time you, uh... you want to know 173 00:09:50,890 --> 00:09:54,058 where the rest of the world begins, you might try asking. 174 00:09:55,161 --> 00:09:57,095 Mount up. 175 00:10:03,603 --> 00:10:04,569 All right. 176 00:10:04,604 --> 00:10:05,604 Ho. 177 00:10:11,811 --> 00:10:13,745 Hey, wait a minute. 178 00:10:14,814 --> 00:10:15,946 What is it? 179 00:10:15,982 --> 00:10:17,793 Looks like some kind of surveying equipment. 180 00:10:17,817 --> 00:10:19,284 Looks like them guys is lying 181 00:10:19,319 --> 00:10:21,319 when they said something about buying some land. 182 00:10:21,354 --> 00:10:24,655 No, they're interested in land, all right. 183 00:10:24,691 --> 00:10:25,857 I just don't think 184 00:10:25,892 --> 00:10:27,932 they're interested in buying any of it. 185 00:11:03,262 --> 00:11:05,730 Uh, drinks are two bits, old-timer. 186 00:11:05,765 --> 00:11:08,466 Oh. Half a drink, maybe? 187 00:11:11,471 --> 00:11:13,449 I can't recommend it, but help yourself. 188 00:11:13,473 --> 00:11:15,573 Oh! Oh, thank you. 189 00:11:15,609 --> 00:11:17,208 That's mighty sociable of you, stranger. 190 00:11:17,243 --> 00:11:18,376 Mighty sociable. 191 00:11:19,579 --> 00:11:21,646 I, uh... I don't know you, do I? 192 00:11:21,681 --> 00:11:22,914 Nope. 193 00:11:22,949 --> 00:11:24,081 Then how come you...? 194 00:11:24,117 --> 00:11:25,728 Oh, let's just say that today 195 00:11:25,752 --> 00:11:28,030 I'm filled with the milk of human kindness. 196 00:11:28,054 --> 00:11:29,253 Oh. 197 00:11:33,927 --> 00:11:36,160 That don't taste much like milk. 198 00:11:36,195 --> 00:11:37,473 Or human kindness, either. 199 00:11:42,869 --> 00:11:44,235 I sure needed that one. 200 00:11:44,270 --> 00:11:46,115 Covered a lot of territory today, huh? 201 00:11:46,139 --> 00:11:48,473 Oh, all the way from Ponderosa. 202 00:11:48,508 --> 00:11:50,041 Ponderosa? 203 00:11:50,076 --> 00:11:52,388 I didn't know the Cartwrights allowed prospecting. 204 00:11:52,412 --> 00:11:53,578 Well, they don't. 205 00:11:53,613 --> 00:11:55,279 They run me off at high noon. 206 00:11:55,314 --> 00:11:57,114 But they'll get their comeuppance. 207 00:11:57,149 --> 00:11:59,484 I never saw a spirit dogging a place yet 208 00:11:59,519 --> 00:12:00,818 that trouble didn't bust out. 209 00:12:00,853 --> 00:12:03,555 A what? 210 00:12:03,590 --> 00:12:05,523 A spirit. 211 00:12:06,793 --> 00:12:08,760 This one lives in my trees. 212 00:12:08,795 --> 00:12:10,862 It, uh... it come out and watched me 213 00:12:10,897 --> 00:12:12,830 all the time I was fixing to leave. 214 00:12:12,865 --> 00:12:14,899 Uh, who watched you? 215 00:12:14,934 --> 00:12:16,301 The-the spirit. 216 00:12:16,336 --> 00:12:18,414 And, uh, what did the spirit look like? 217 00:12:18,438 --> 00:12:21,873 Oh. Oh, it was, uh... It was big and black 218 00:12:21,908 --> 00:12:24,242 and active as two tomcats on a back fence. 219 00:12:24,277 --> 00:12:25,910 How big? 220 00:12:25,946 --> 00:12:28,980 Well, could have been about ten foot, maybe. 221 00:12:29,015 --> 00:12:30,692 Uh-huh. Maybe even more? 222 00:12:30,716 --> 00:12:33,951 Oh, could have been 15 or 20 foot, maybe. 223 00:12:33,986 --> 00:12:35,286 And wild, huh? 224 00:12:35,321 --> 00:12:38,322 Oh, wildest thing you ever saw. 225 00:12:38,358 --> 00:12:40,391 Wilder than a Washoe zephyr! 226 00:12:40,426 --> 00:12:41,993 It flit from tree to tree 227 00:12:42,028 --> 00:12:43,928 with a manzanita bush in each hand 228 00:12:43,964 --> 00:12:45,764 and a waggin' tongue in its mouth. 229 00:12:45,799 --> 00:12:47,098 Hmm. 230 00:12:47,134 --> 00:12:48,377 20 feet tall. 231 00:12:48,401 --> 00:12:50,780 That's what I call a man-sized spirit. 232 00:13:06,519 --> 00:13:08,686 "Reported to be 20 feet tall 233 00:13:08,721 --> 00:13:10,688 "and covered with long, black hair, 234 00:13:10,723 --> 00:13:14,058 "the Wild Man is said to flit from tree to tree, 235 00:13:14,094 --> 00:13:17,262 "carrying off cattle and picking his teeth 236 00:13:17,297 --> 00:13:19,730 with a wagging tongue." 237 00:13:19,766 --> 00:13:23,001 By all that's wonderful, whatever inspired this? 238 00:13:23,036 --> 00:13:25,003 Well, you said your readers liked a few laughs. 239 00:13:25,038 --> 00:13:26,916 Just so no one questions your sources. 240 00:13:26,940 --> 00:13:29,207 Well, I admit it's secondhand reporting, 241 00:13:29,242 --> 00:13:31,409 but my source was pretty reliable. 242 00:13:31,444 --> 00:13:33,589 That is, until he had a couple of drinks under his belt. 243 00:13:33,613 --> 00:13:35,646 And then he, uh, tended to exaggerate. 244 00:13:39,085 --> 00:13:41,363 Well, it's plain enough to see what they were up to. 245 00:13:41,387 --> 00:13:43,499 You follow High Valley, bridge the Truckee 246 00:13:43,523 --> 00:13:45,356 and drop down the west slope. 247 00:13:45,391 --> 00:13:46,669 A natural route for cutting a road 248 00:13:46,693 --> 00:13:47,837 right through our property. 249 00:13:47,861 --> 00:13:49,493 A road or a railroad. 250 00:13:49,529 --> 00:13:51,407 They intended to sneak in, make their survey 251 00:13:51,431 --> 00:13:53,042 and sneak out before anybody ever saw them. 252 00:13:53,066 --> 00:13:54,966 The question is, why and for whom. 253 00:13:55,001 --> 00:13:56,512 Ah... Come quick! Come quick! 254 00:13:56,536 --> 00:13:57,780 Too many people! No, Hop Sing. 255 00:13:57,804 --> 00:13:59,215 People everywhere! All over Ponderosa! 256 00:13:59,239 --> 00:14:00,738 Hop Sing, you got a bigger imagination 257 00:14:00,773 --> 00:14:01,884 than... LITTLE JOE: Hey, Pa! 258 00:14:01,908 --> 00:14:03,485 Hey, Pa, you and Adam better get out here! 259 00:14:03,509 --> 00:14:04,720 There's people all over the place. 260 00:14:04,744 --> 00:14:05,888 They've come to see the Wild Man. 261 00:14:05,912 --> 00:14:07,312 Wh-What Wild Man? 262 00:14:07,347 --> 00:14:09,225 Look, right here in the Enterprise. 263 00:14:09,249 --> 00:14:12,082 "Wild Man of Washoe Loose on Ponde..." 264 00:14:12,118 --> 00:14:14,330 Now, what fool would put a thing like that in the paper?! 265 00:14:14,354 --> 00:14:16,920 Well, there's the name of the man who wrote it... "Josh." 266 00:14:19,125 --> 00:14:21,036 Sam, take a look at this telegram. 267 00:14:21,060 --> 00:14:23,728 The San Francisco Bugle: "Confirm Wild Man Story. 268 00:14:23,763 --> 00:14:25,006 Flooded with inquiries." 269 00:14:25,030 --> 00:14:27,531 Big city newspaper, too. 270 00:14:27,567 --> 00:14:29,533 Uh, which one of you fellows is Josh? 271 00:14:29,569 --> 00:14:31,413 Oh, that's sort of a pen name I use. 272 00:14:31,437 --> 00:14:33,604 Uh, did you, uh, write this? 273 00:14:33,640 --> 00:14:34,905 The Wild Man story? 274 00:14:34,940 --> 00:14:37,018 Yeah, sure, I did. How'd you like it, Mister, uh... 275 00:14:37,042 --> 00:14:38,520 I'm sorry, I didn't get your name. 276 00:14:38,544 --> 00:14:40,311 Cartwright, Adam Cartwright. 277 00:14:40,346 --> 00:14:41,512 Oh, I'm Sam Clemens. 278 00:14:41,547 --> 00:14:43,058 I haven't been in Virginia City very long. 279 00:14:43,082 --> 00:14:44,493 And I'm afraid you're not gonna be around 280 00:14:44,517 --> 00:14:45,750 very much longer, Mr. Clemens. 281 00:14:45,785 --> 00:14:48,052 You see, this little, uh, contribution to literature 282 00:14:48,087 --> 00:14:49,587 brought 500 people tramping 283 00:14:49,622 --> 00:14:51,255 across the Ponderosa this morning. 284 00:14:51,290 --> 00:14:52,535 As many as that? Yes. 285 00:14:52,559 --> 00:14:53,958 They, uh, ruined a field of hay 286 00:14:53,993 --> 00:14:55,571 and scared the wits out of a herd of cows. 287 00:14:55,595 --> 00:14:57,895 We had to rescue four of them out of the duck pond. 288 00:14:57,931 --> 00:15:00,531 And my people are still trying to round up the rest of them. 289 00:15:00,566 --> 00:15:03,268 Well, it was just a bit of sagebrush humor. We... 290 00:15:03,303 --> 00:15:05,904 We had no idea folks would take it seriously. 291 00:15:05,939 --> 00:15:08,306 Yes, well, I want a retraction 292 00:15:08,341 --> 00:15:11,342 of the, uh, Wild Man Story to keep these fools off our land. 293 00:15:11,377 --> 00:15:15,112 Oh, I'm afraid that's kind of hard to do, Mr. Cartwright. 294 00:15:15,147 --> 00:15:18,849 You see, I got the story from a very reliable source. 295 00:15:18,884 --> 00:15:20,518 Then you leave me no choice. 296 00:15:20,553 --> 00:15:22,186 I presume you know how to handle a gun? 297 00:15:22,221 --> 00:15:23,965 Oh, now, hold on, Mr. Cart... 298 00:15:23,989 --> 00:15:25,256 Uh, I haven't got any gun. 299 00:15:25,291 --> 00:15:27,558 Well, maybe you're pretty good with your fists, huh? 300 00:15:27,593 --> 00:15:28,859 Why, sure! 301 00:15:28,895 --> 00:15:30,506 When I was, uh, steamboating on the Mississippi, 302 00:15:30,530 --> 00:15:31,940 a fellow didn't like me very much. 303 00:15:31,964 --> 00:15:34,010 We had quite a fight until I tripped over a rope. 304 00:15:34,034 --> 00:15:36,967 Course, he outweighed me by about five pounds. 305 00:15:37,003 --> 00:15:38,569 Uh, come to think of it, uh, 306 00:15:38,604 --> 00:15:41,239 I sort of hate to mess up these new clothes I just bought. 307 00:15:41,274 --> 00:15:44,175 Couldn't we, uh, settle this a little more peaceably? 308 00:15:44,210 --> 00:15:46,411 Are you trying to make a fool out of me? 309 00:15:46,446 --> 00:15:49,713 Now, I want that retraction in tomorrow's newspaper. 310 00:15:49,749 --> 00:15:52,194 Well, you're making this a little difficult. 311 00:15:52,218 --> 00:15:53,295 You see, the Enterprise 312 00:15:53,319 --> 00:15:55,664 never apologizes for stories it prints. 313 00:15:55,688 --> 00:15:57,422 It's, uh, kind of a policy. 314 00:15:57,457 --> 00:15:58,856 I see. 315 00:15:58,891 --> 00:16:01,526 Well, maybe I can help change that policy. 316 00:16:06,132 --> 00:16:08,044 Now, you understand about that retraction? 317 00:16:08,068 --> 00:16:09,512 Y-You'll get your, uh, you'll get your 318 00:16:09,536 --> 00:16:10,979 retraction, Mr. Cartwright. Thank you. 319 00:16:11,003 --> 00:16:12,703 You all right, Sam? 320 00:16:12,738 --> 00:16:14,038 Whoo! 321 00:16:15,408 --> 00:16:17,641 I kind of like those Cartwrights. 322 00:16:54,313 --> 00:16:55,713 You, in there! 323 00:16:55,748 --> 00:16:57,681 That's a box canyon! 324 00:16:57,717 --> 00:16:59,316 There's no way out! 325 00:17:15,201 --> 00:17:16,267 Get down from there! 326 00:17:31,684 --> 00:17:33,951 Hey, Pa! 327 00:17:33,986 --> 00:17:35,852 Hey, Pa, here comes Adam. 328 00:17:38,524 --> 00:17:39,823 Got somebody across his horse. 329 00:17:39,858 --> 00:17:41,492 Maybe it's that Josh fellow. 330 00:17:47,366 --> 00:17:49,533 Who've you got there? 331 00:17:49,568 --> 00:17:51,213 Found this boy roaming the hills. 332 00:17:51,237 --> 00:17:52,681 Is he all right? He's all right. 333 00:17:52,705 --> 00:17:55,173 Take him to the wash house, let Hop Sing wash him up. 334 00:17:56,476 --> 00:17:58,075 C'mon. C'mon, boy. 335 00:18:00,847 --> 00:18:02,958 Seems to me this Josh fellow had you buffaloed, Adam. 336 00:18:02,982 --> 00:18:05,015 Well, what are you gonna do when a man won't fight? 337 00:18:05,050 --> 00:18:07,251 What kind of a man is he, a coward? 338 00:18:07,286 --> 00:18:08,619 I don't know. 339 00:18:08,654 --> 00:18:10,432 Anyway, he promised to print a retraction. 340 00:18:10,456 --> 00:18:11,923 Well, I certainly hope he does. 341 00:18:11,958 --> 00:18:14,003 We don't want some fool reporter printing stories 342 00:18:14,027 --> 00:18:15,237 that'll send more people out here. 343 00:18:15,261 --> 00:18:16,661 It's hard enough as it is 344 00:18:16,696 --> 00:18:18,107 to keep an eye out for strangers. 345 00:18:18,131 --> 00:18:20,998 Now, listen, boys, I want you to be careful. 346 00:18:21,033 --> 00:18:23,033 Don't ride out by yourselves anymore. 347 00:18:23,069 --> 00:18:25,536 If someone is going to pull a land grab on us, 348 00:18:25,572 --> 00:18:27,572 they can't hide their hand much longer. 349 00:18:33,479 --> 00:18:35,045 Hop Sing quit! 350 00:18:35,081 --> 00:18:36,313 Too much foolishment! 351 00:18:36,349 --> 00:18:37,459 What's the matter with you? 352 00:18:37,483 --> 00:18:40,551 Work hard, make a fine supper, wash dish, 353 00:18:40,586 --> 00:18:42,120 no time for foolishment! 354 00:18:42,155 --> 00:18:43,865 Now, just settle down, Hop Sing. 355 00:18:43,889 --> 00:18:45,433 We got enough trouble around here already. 356 00:18:45,457 --> 00:18:46,590 You got trouble? 357 00:18:46,625 --> 00:18:48,359 Hop Sing got the foolishment! 358 00:18:48,394 --> 00:18:50,594 Give boy, you say wash up clean... 359 00:18:50,629 --> 00:18:53,464 Boy? Ain't no boy around here. 360 00:18:53,499 --> 00:18:55,677 Oh, Adam found some lad wandering around. 361 00:18:55,701 --> 00:18:57,312 So, what'd you do with him, Hop Sing? 362 00:18:57,336 --> 00:18:58,535 Him no boy. 363 00:18:58,570 --> 00:18:59,837 Him girl! 364 00:18:59,872 --> 00:19:01,238 What?! 365 00:19:01,274 --> 00:19:02,907 You go look, see, please! 366 00:19:02,942 --> 00:19:05,253 Well, Adam, if you don't know a boy from a girl... 367 00:19:05,277 --> 00:19:06,277 Shut up! 368 00:19:06,312 --> 00:19:07,912 Where is he, I mean, she? 369 00:19:07,947 --> 00:19:09,680 Still in the wash house. 370 00:19:09,715 --> 00:19:10,926 Well, bring her in here! 371 00:19:10,950 --> 00:19:12,350 No can do, Boss. 372 00:19:12,385 --> 00:19:14,785 Burn up clothes. All very bad shape. 373 00:19:14,820 --> 00:19:17,532 You know, I think I'd better see what I can do about this. 374 00:19:17,556 --> 00:19:19,456 Maybe you just better stay right where you are. 375 00:19:26,766 --> 00:19:28,198 Good luck, Adam! 376 00:19:40,613 --> 00:19:42,213 You, in there! 377 00:19:45,050 --> 00:19:46,717 Put this on and come on out. 378 00:19:48,954 --> 00:19:51,288 I tell you I found him... Her... in the brush 379 00:19:51,324 --> 00:19:52,523 and that's all I know. 380 00:19:52,558 --> 00:19:53,802 Yeah, well, you should've asked me, Adam. 381 00:19:53,826 --> 00:19:55,437 I could've told you it was a girl. 382 00:19:56,562 --> 00:19:58,129 What are we gonna to do with her? 383 00:19:58,164 --> 00:19:59,931 Well, we'll get rid of her. 384 00:20:01,033 --> 00:20:02,333 This way, Missy. 385 00:20:16,115 --> 00:20:17,515 Hello. 386 00:20:20,620 --> 00:20:22,853 Won't you sit down? 387 00:20:36,602 --> 00:20:37,868 What's your name, child? 388 00:20:47,180 --> 00:20:49,313 Why did you run away from me? 389 00:20:51,317 --> 00:20:53,951 Ain't you got no folks, no relatives? 390 00:20:57,123 --> 00:21:01,092 Perhaps, perhaps you'd rather not talk until morning. 391 00:21:03,963 --> 00:21:05,496 No. 392 00:21:05,531 --> 00:21:07,465 I think you're friends. 393 00:21:10,169 --> 00:21:13,370 My name is Rosemary Lawson. 394 00:21:15,007 --> 00:21:16,752 My father and I left San Francisco 395 00:21:16,776 --> 00:21:19,410 to come to Virginia City by wagon. 396 00:21:19,445 --> 00:21:21,723 My father was a school teacher. 397 00:21:21,747 --> 00:21:25,683 But he wanted to look for silver. 398 00:21:25,718 --> 00:21:29,954 We didn't have any trouble until we got into the mountains. 399 00:21:29,989 --> 00:21:32,123 Then, one night, 400 00:21:32,158 --> 00:21:34,592 we were camped near the Truckee River. 401 00:21:35,695 --> 00:21:39,163 It was very beautiful there... 402 00:21:39,198 --> 00:21:40,697 and we were very happy. 403 00:21:42,167 --> 00:21:44,135 We sat by the fire and 404 00:21:44,170 --> 00:21:47,305 Daddy sang some old songs to me. 405 00:21:47,340 --> 00:21:50,908 Then I went to bed in the wagon. 406 00:21:50,943 --> 00:21:55,079 Later, I was awakened by pistol shots. 407 00:21:55,114 --> 00:21:59,950 I looked out and there were strange men in camp. 408 00:22:01,754 --> 00:22:04,021 They'd killed my father! 409 00:22:09,094 --> 00:22:12,396 Um, I think you've, uh, 410 00:22:12,431 --> 00:22:15,032 you've talked enough for tonight, Rosemary. 411 00:22:15,067 --> 00:22:17,835 Hop Sing, see that you get some hot food and, uh, 412 00:22:17,870 --> 00:22:20,103 prepare that room at the end of the bunkhouse. 413 00:22:26,045 --> 00:22:27,325 You rest well. 414 00:22:30,916 --> 00:22:32,883 Remember that filly colt 415 00:22:32,918 --> 00:22:36,286 we found in the upper pasture last spring... 416 00:22:36,321 --> 00:22:39,689 after some skunk of a hunter killed its mammy? 417 00:22:39,725 --> 00:22:42,525 Yeah, I remember. 418 00:22:42,561 --> 00:22:44,427 She was scared to death, too. 419 00:22:44,463 --> 00:22:46,764 Took us all day long to run her down. 420 00:22:46,799 --> 00:22:49,366 They did more to her than kill her father. 421 00:23:22,301 --> 00:23:25,235 ♪ ♪ 422 00:23:43,622 --> 00:23:46,123 All right, who are you and what are you doing here? 423 00:23:46,158 --> 00:23:48,291 I'm Dr. Ephriam Lovejoy. 424 00:23:48,327 --> 00:23:50,928 I represent, sir, a group of distinguished scientists. 425 00:23:50,963 --> 00:23:55,465 Scientists... Adam, what's in that wagon? 426 00:23:57,603 --> 00:23:58,936 Some kind of steel hooks. 427 00:23:58,971 --> 00:24:00,671 Grappling hooks. 428 00:24:00,706 --> 00:24:02,617 I'm going to fish for the body in the lake. 429 00:24:02,641 --> 00:24:04,274 The body? 430 00:24:04,310 --> 00:24:05,576 What are you talking about? 431 00:24:05,611 --> 00:24:07,845 Well, the body of the Wild Man, of course. 432 00:24:07,880 --> 00:24:10,581 Didn't you read about it in the Territorial Enterprise? 433 00:24:10,616 --> 00:24:12,460 I expect to get off an immediate report 434 00:24:12,484 --> 00:24:14,551 to my scientific group. 435 00:24:14,586 --> 00:24:18,022 What does it say, Pa? 436 00:24:18,057 --> 00:24:20,357 "The Wild Man of Washoe is dead. 437 00:24:20,393 --> 00:24:23,260 "His body having been consigned to the waters of Lake Tahoe, 438 00:24:23,295 --> 00:24:26,430 "it will now sink to a depth of 200 feet, where it will remain 439 00:24:26,465 --> 00:24:28,999 "motionless, encased in a block of ice, 440 00:24:29,035 --> 00:24:31,079 "while the pressure encountered reduces it 441 00:24:31,103 --> 00:24:33,270 to the stature of a child." 442 00:24:33,305 --> 00:24:35,384 I thought they was gonna print a retraction. 443 00:24:35,408 --> 00:24:37,007 Yeah, some retraction you've got, Adam. 444 00:24:37,042 --> 00:24:39,387 Surely, gentlemen, for scientific reasons... 445 00:24:39,411 --> 00:24:40,744 That article was written 446 00:24:40,779 --> 00:24:42,746 by a lying newspaper reporter named Josh. 447 00:24:42,781 --> 00:24:45,349 Now, head that buggy back towards Virginia City and fast! 448 00:24:52,291 --> 00:24:53,857 And put out the fire! 449 00:25:11,843 --> 00:25:14,311 Well, Adam, it looks like you got your retraction. 450 00:25:14,346 --> 00:25:17,181 Josh killed off the Wild Man. 451 00:25:17,216 --> 00:25:19,015 Well, the next time I'm in town, 452 00:25:19,051 --> 00:25:22,152 I think I'll pay this Josh fellow a little visit. 453 00:25:27,026 --> 00:25:28,558 And I tell you, my friends, 454 00:25:28,594 --> 00:25:30,672 that never in the history of Virginia City 455 00:25:30,696 --> 00:25:32,195 has there been a greater need 456 00:25:32,231 --> 00:25:34,409 for a guardian of the rights of the working man. 457 00:25:34,433 --> 00:25:35,866 Right. 458 00:25:35,901 --> 00:25:39,003 The miners who are putting the name Virginia City on the map. 459 00:25:39,038 --> 00:25:41,005 And those rights will be guarded. 460 00:25:41,040 --> 00:25:43,107 Now then, gentlemen, step up to the bar. 461 00:25:43,142 --> 00:25:44,508 The drinks are on me. 462 00:25:46,712 --> 00:25:47,845 Drink up, boys. 463 00:25:47,880 --> 00:25:49,012 It's on the judge. 464 00:25:49,047 --> 00:25:50,391 Yes, sir. 465 00:25:50,415 --> 00:25:52,928 There's two ways of winning an election. 466 00:25:52,952 --> 00:25:54,729 One's by going around making speeches. 467 00:25:54,753 --> 00:25:57,721 And the other's by sitting still and making friends. 468 00:25:57,756 --> 00:26:00,257 Friend, here's mud in your eye. 469 00:26:00,293 --> 00:26:02,492 Well, I remember you. 470 00:26:02,528 --> 00:26:04,694 And I remember you, Mrs. Billington. 471 00:26:04,730 --> 00:26:08,198 Friend, see you on election day. 472 00:26:13,572 --> 00:26:16,040 I, uh, didn't invite you to sit down. 473 00:26:16,075 --> 00:26:18,042 Thank you anyway. 474 00:26:21,713 --> 00:26:23,625 Your very good health, ma'am. 475 00:26:23,649 --> 00:26:26,161 And to the election of Jeremy C. Billington. 476 00:26:26,185 --> 00:26:28,885 You didn't come here to buy my vote. 477 00:26:28,921 --> 00:26:30,632 Well, he's the best man, isn't he? 478 00:26:30,656 --> 00:26:33,101 And what I always say... Let the best man win. 479 00:26:33,125 --> 00:26:34,291 Don't you worry about it. 480 00:26:34,327 --> 00:26:36,193 My husband always wins. 481 00:26:36,228 --> 00:26:37,605 You know, Mrs. Billington, 482 00:26:37,629 --> 00:26:39,274 it's a funny thing about elections 483 00:26:39,298 --> 00:26:41,043 and contests of any kind. 484 00:26:41,067 --> 00:26:43,445 You never really know how they're gonna work out. 485 00:26:43,469 --> 00:26:46,437 Now, back a couple of months ago, I was in California. 486 00:26:46,472 --> 00:26:48,083 Place called Calaveras County. 487 00:26:48,107 --> 00:26:50,674 And the folks there seemed to think that they wanted 488 00:26:50,709 --> 00:26:53,277 to hold a sort of a-a little, uh... frog-jumping contest? 489 00:26:53,312 --> 00:26:54,611 Yeah, I heard about it. 490 00:26:54,646 --> 00:26:56,714 You're the fellow thinks up all that junk. 491 00:26:56,749 --> 00:26:58,582 Signs himself Josh. 492 00:26:58,617 --> 00:27:01,885 Well, I, uh, wouldn't exactly call it junk, ma'am. 493 00:27:01,920 --> 00:27:03,799 All right. What would you call it? 494 00:27:03,823 --> 00:27:07,858 Well, uh, I'd call it some, uh, pretty fancy writing. 495 00:27:07,893 --> 00:27:10,927 Take my word for it... it's junk. 496 00:27:10,963 --> 00:27:14,097 Well, maybe you're right at that. 497 00:27:14,132 --> 00:27:15,833 Smart fellow like you shouldn't ought 498 00:27:15,868 --> 00:27:17,434 to be wasting his time writing, 499 00:27:17,470 --> 00:27:19,803 or any other kind of silly stuff like that. 500 00:27:21,006 --> 00:27:23,017 Well, uh, what should I ought to do? 501 00:27:23,041 --> 00:27:24,285 You see, I tried prospecting. 502 00:27:24,309 --> 00:27:25,454 I couldn't make a dime. 503 00:27:25,478 --> 00:27:27,644 Prospecting. 504 00:27:27,680 --> 00:27:29,847 That's almost as bad as writing. 505 00:27:29,882 --> 00:27:32,148 There's a lot better ways of making a pile 506 00:27:32,184 --> 00:27:34,418 than going out in the hills digging for it. 507 00:27:35,721 --> 00:27:38,222 Yes, I guess there are. 508 00:27:40,225 --> 00:27:41,625 Now, you take politics. 509 00:27:41,660 --> 00:27:43,505 There's a big future in politics. 510 00:27:43,529 --> 00:27:46,263 Well, there... there has been one for the last, uh... 511 00:27:46,298 --> 00:27:47,998 5,000 years. 512 00:27:48,034 --> 00:27:50,967 No, I mean, right here, in Nevada. 513 00:27:51,003 --> 00:27:53,037 Fellow like you could go places in Nevada. 514 00:27:53,072 --> 00:27:55,150 Well, you see, there are a few places 515 00:27:55,174 --> 00:27:56,907 I'd rather see first. 516 00:27:56,942 --> 00:27:58,675 Oh, what kind of places you talking about? 517 00:27:58,711 --> 00:28:02,512 Oh, uh, London, Paris, Rome. 518 00:28:02,547 --> 00:28:04,325 You see, uh, when you're from Missouri, 519 00:28:04,349 --> 00:28:07,351 you've got to get out and take a good look at the world. 520 00:28:07,386 --> 00:28:09,186 Well, whatever for? 521 00:28:09,221 --> 00:28:11,888 Oh, to understand your own home town, 522 00:28:11,924 --> 00:28:14,157 the friends you had when you were a child, 523 00:28:14,193 --> 00:28:17,560 sailing down the Mississippi on a raft, and... 524 00:28:17,596 --> 00:28:20,297 Oh, you know, all kinds of junk like that. 525 00:28:20,332 --> 00:28:23,000 Believe me, you won't make a dime doing that, either. 526 00:28:23,035 --> 00:28:24,634 The money's out here in Nevada. 527 00:28:24,670 --> 00:28:26,948 Like, uh, when you get elected judge? 528 00:28:26,972 --> 00:28:28,672 What's wrong with being elected judge? 529 00:28:28,707 --> 00:28:30,786 Oh, nothing, except the way it's done. 530 00:28:30,810 --> 00:28:33,188 You may be able to buy some votes with this, 531 00:28:33,212 --> 00:28:35,290 but, uh, you won't be able 532 00:28:35,314 --> 00:28:37,458 to buy what we print in the Enterprise. 533 00:28:37,482 --> 00:28:41,551 One way or another, my husband's going to be elected judge. 534 00:28:41,586 --> 00:28:44,721 Isn't that, uh, sort of up to the voters? 535 00:28:44,756 --> 00:28:47,891 Well, I'll, uh, see you on election day, ma'am. 536 00:28:47,926 --> 00:28:50,527 Oh, and just for the record, Mrs. Billington, 537 00:28:50,562 --> 00:28:53,129 I may never make a dime writing all that junk, 538 00:28:53,164 --> 00:28:56,099 but, uh, here's one vote that's sort of hard to buy. 539 00:28:56,134 --> 00:28:59,569 And I like to pay for my own drinks. 540 00:29:13,886 --> 00:29:16,197 Sam, I need a filler for page three. 541 00:29:16,221 --> 00:29:18,065 You know, something short and snappy. 542 00:29:18,089 --> 00:29:19,222 Yeah, I know. 543 00:29:19,257 --> 00:29:20,791 Give 'em a few laughs, huh? 544 00:29:20,826 --> 00:29:22,069 What's eating you? 545 00:29:22,093 --> 00:29:23,226 Oh, I don't know, Bill. 546 00:29:23,261 --> 00:29:24,661 I guess I'm getting a little tired 547 00:29:24,696 --> 00:29:26,663 of writing sagebrush humor. 548 00:29:26,698 --> 00:29:29,043 But you write this kind of stuff so well. 549 00:29:29,067 --> 00:29:30,934 Well, that's just it... It's-it's stuff. 550 00:29:30,969 --> 00:29:32,201 I like humorous writing, 551 00:29:32,237 --> 00:29:34,571 but I like to say something along with it. 552 00:29:34,606 --> 00:29:35,917 You make the miners laugh. 553 00:29:35,941 --> 00:29:37,051 That's the important thing. 554 00:29:37,075 --> 00:29:38,875 It is? 555 00:29:38,911 --> 00:29:41,578 How about making them think for a change, huh? 556 00:29:41,613 --> 00:29:42,891 About what? 557 00:29:42,915 --> 00:29:44,414 Well, the election, for instance. 558 00:29:44,450 --> 00:29:47,383 About the Right Honorable Jeremy C. Billington. 559 00:29:47,419 --> 00:29:49,486 I don't think anybody in Virginia City knows 560 00:29:49,521 --> 00:29:51,054 there's another man running for judge. 561 00:29:51,089 --> 00:29:52,967 Well, there's Henry Walker, of course. 562 00:29:52,991 --> 00:29:55,102 He runs against Jeremy every time 563 00:29:55,126 --> 00:29:56,827 and always loses. 564 00:29:56,862 --> 00:29:58,194 People are getting pretty used 565 00:29:58,229 --> 00:30:00,229 to electing Billington judge, aren't they? 566 00:30:00,265 --> 00:30:02,825 Yes, I guess by now they are. 567 00:30:03,301 --> 00:30:05,401 Then why is he spending so much money 568 00:30:05,437 --> 00:30:06,970 on his campaign this time, hmm? 569 00:30:07,005 --> 00:30:10,139 Now that you mention it, it is kind of unusual. 570 00:30:10,175 --> 00:30:12,342 Yeah. So are those Paris gowns 571 00:30:12,377 --> 00:30:14,344 that Minnie Billington wears. 572 00:30:14,379 --> 00:30:16,713 Miners are so busy looking at her low necklines, 573 00:30:16,748 --> 00:30:19,016 they forget who's paying for them. 574 00:30:19,051 --> 00:30:21,162 Are you afraid the Enterprise won't print any story 575 00:30:21,186 --> 00:30:22,319 you happen to dig up? 576 00:30:22,354 --> 00:30:24,432 You know, I had a little bet with myself 577 00:30:24,456 --> 00:30:25,700 that you'd go along with me? 578 00:30:25,724 --> 00:30:27,757 Sam, this is a newspaper, not a comic strip. 579 00:30:27,792 --> 00:30:28,992 You come up with a story, 580 00:30:29,028 --> 00:30:30,238 and the Enterprise will print it. 581 00:30:30,262 --> 00:30:31,739 Just as long as I sign it? 582 00:30:31,763 --> 00:30:33,630 Just as long as you sign it. 583 00:30:33,665 --> 00:30:35,332 All right. 584 00:30:35,367 --> 00:30:37,367 Well, let me see, uh... 585 00:30:49,681 --> 00:30:51,448 Let's get out of here. 586 00:31:02,027 --> 00:31:03,227 Ya! Ya! 587 00:31:41,600 --> 00:31:43,033 Just a crease. 588 00:31:43,068 --> 00:31:44,534 He ain't hurt bad. 589 00:31:44,569 --> 00:31:47,048 You'd better have a good story this time, Mister. 590 00:31:47,072 --> 00:31:48,371 I've got nothing to say. 591 00:31:48,406 --> 00:31:50,485 Well, you better think of something quick. 592 00:31:50,509 --> 00:31:52,943 Why take it out on me? 593 00:31:52,978 --> 00:31:55,045 The man you want is back in Virginia City. 594 00:31:58,117 --> 00:32:00,677 Get his horse. 595 00:32:08,693 --> 00:32:10,860 Whoa. 596 00:32:10,896 --> 00:32:13,062 Ah, my dear, 597 00:32:13,098 --> 00:32:15,865 today you are the epitome of feminine pulchritude. 598 00:32:15,901 --> 00:32:18,380 Don't you talk dirty to me, Jeremy Billington. 599 00:32:21,340 --> 00:32:23,506 I won't be long, my dear. 600 00:32:51,836 --> 00:32:52,802 You Daniel Lash? 601 00:32:52,837 --> 00:32:53,848 What's the meaning of this? 602 00:32:53,872 --> 00:32:54,949 We'll ask the questions. 603 00:32:54,973 --> 00:32:56,417 Gentlemen, I wouldn't like to cite you 604 00:32:56,441 --> 00:32:57,585 into my court for threatening. 605 00:32:57,609 --> 00:32:58,775 You, sit down. 606 00:32:58,810 --> 00:33:00,188 We didn't come here to threaten anyone. 607 00:33:00,212 --> 00:33:01,489 We came here to warn you. 608 00:33:01,513 --> 00:33:03,257 Now, you stay away from us, Lash. 609 00:33:03,281 --> 00:33:05,159 There'll be no land grab on the Ponderosa. 610 00:33:05,183 --> 00:33:06,794 Next time your men start shooting at us, 611 00:33:06,818 --> 00:33:09,385 we won't be bringing them back to you alive. 612 00:33:20,232 --> 00:33:22,544 What do you think happened? 613 00:33:22,568 --> 00:33:25,368 I, uh, think railroad stocks took a little drop. 614 00:33:39,117 --> 00:33:40,295 It just doesn't make sense, Pa. 615 00:33:40,319 --> 00:33:41,896 Why would they bypass the main railroad line 616 00:33:41,920 --> 00:33:43,998 just in order to cut across the Ponderosa? 617 00:33:44,022 --> 00:33:45,567 25,000 acres of prime timber 618 00:33:45,591 --> 00:33:46,734 and grazing land. 619 00:33:46,758 --> 00:33:47,968 That's reason enough, isn't it? 620 00:33:47,992 --> 00:33:50,232 Why, the railroad people could grab that much land 621 00:33:50,261 --> 00:33:51,839 just by checkerboarding a right-of-way 622 00:33:51,863 --> 00:33:53,029 across our property. 623 00:33:53,064 --> 00:33:54,464 Well, by checkerboarding, 624 00:33:54,499 --> 00:33:57,066 they could seal off every other square mile of land. 625 00:33:57,101 --> 00:33:58,334 That's right. 626 00:33:58,369 --> 00:33:59,769 Yeah, but, Pa, would any court 627 00:33:59,805 --> 00:34:01,282 in the land approve a right-of-way 628 00:34:01,306 --> 00:34:03,350 that ain't nothing but a front for a land grab? 629 00:34:03,374 --> 00:34:05,842 Not unless they got to a judge. 630 00:34:05,877 --> 00:34:08,156 Hey, you mean Judge Billington? 631 00:34:08,180 --> 00:34:10,479 I don't think it was any coincidence at all 632 00:34:10,515 --> 00:34:12,555 that we found the judge in Lash's office. 633 00:34:12,584 --> 00:34:14,518 I wouldn't put it past the old scallywag. 634 00:34:15,720 --> 00:34:16,853 Is anything wrong? 635 00:34:16,888 --> 00:34:18,532 Hey, Adam. 636 00:34:18,556 --> 00:34:20,467 Hey, take a look at what happened 637 00:34:20,491 --> 00:34:22,136 to that little boy you found. 638 00:34:22,160 --> 00:34:24,471 Well! 639 00:34:24,495 --> 00:34:26,340 Well, you sure look pretty. Thank you. 640 00:34:26,364 --> 00:34:30,066 You know, I don't understand how I made such a big mistake. 641 00:34:30,101 --> 00:34:31,745 That Hop Sing's a pretty good outfitter. 642 00:34:31,769 --> 00:34:33,903 Oh, he bought a lot more than I need. 643 00:34:33,939 --> 00:34:36,039 I don't know how to thank all of you. 644 00:34:36,074 --> 00:34:39,909 Well... Somebody come here. 645 00:34:39,944 --> 00:34:41,745 Ride up on a mule. 646 00:34:41,780 --> 00:34:43,479 That's all we need. 647 00:34:43,514 --> 00:34:45,226 Another scientific expedition. 648 00:34:45,250 --> 00:34:47,810 Rosemary, let's find out who this is. 649 00:34:52,991 --> 00:34:55,303 It's that newspaper reporter. 650 00:34:55,327 --> 00:34:57,260 Afternoon. 651 00:34:58,897 --> 00:35:00,542 We, uh... we printed the retraction 652 00:35:00,566 --> 00:35:01,742 about the Wild Man. 653 00:35:01,766 --> 00:35:02,899 So we noticed. 654 00:35:02,934 --> 00:35:04,734 Uh, would you care to meet him? 655 00:35:04,769 --> 00:35:06,847 Wouldn't that be a little hard to do? 656 00:35:06,871 --> 00:35:09,717 After all, it was just something I sort of dreamed up. 657 00:35:09,741 --> 00:35:11,374 Well, Mr. Clemens, 658 00:35:11,409 --> 00:35:13,554 I think you should be given the opportunity 659 00:35:13,578 --> 00:35:15,123 of meeting the Wild Man. 660 00:35:15,147 --> 00:35:16,446 Here she is. 661 00:35:16,481 --> 00:35:17,691 You mean, she's a...? 662 00:35:17,715 --> 00:35:18,993 That's right, Mr. Clemens. 663 00:35:19,017 --> 00:35:20,250 There's your Wild Man. 664 00:35:20,285 --> 00:35:22,852 20 foot tall with a manzanita bush in each hand 665 00:35:22,887 --> 00:35:24,799 and a waggin' tongue in her mouth. 666 00:35:25,991 --> 00:35:27,324 Well, I don't know 667 00:35:27,359 --> 00:35:28,937 what they're talking about, Miss, 668 00:35:28,961 --> 00:35:31,561 but you're the prettiest Wild Man I ever did see. 669 00:35:31,596 --> 00:35:33,195 Thank you. 670 00:35:33,231 --> 00:35:36,243 Mr. Clemens, to what do we owe this visit? 671 00:35:36,267 --> 00:35:37,979 Well, for one thing, I thought you ought to know 672 00:35:38,003 --> 00:35:39,180 there are warrants out for your arrest. 673 00:35:39,204 --> 00:35:42,539 Warrants? 674 00:35:42,574 --> 00:35:45,642 Well, I, uh... I think we ought to talk about this inside. 675 00:35:45,677 --> 00:35:48,411 Rosemary, tell Hop Sing we'll have a guest for dinner. 676 00:35:48,447 --> 00:35:49,824 Here, I'll take your mule. 677 00:35:49,848 --> 00:35:50,992 Thank you. 678 00:35:51,016 --> 00:35:52,782 Come on. 679 00:35:52,817 --> 00:35:55,752 Mr. Clemens, I homesteaded the Ponderosa, 680 00:35:55,787 --> 00:35:58,054 fought Indians and drove off outlaws. 681 00:35:58,089 --> 00:36:01,358 I'm not going to let Lash or anybody else grab my land. 682 00:36:01,393 --> 00:36:03,460 Well, if the railroad got a legal right-of-way 683 00:36:03,495 --> 00:36:05,061 and checkerboarded the Ponderosa 684 00:36:05,096 --> 00:36:07,664 with land holdings, what would you do then? 685 00:36:07,699 --> 00:36:09,366 Fight. 686 00:36:09,401 --> 00:36:13,170 We've got guns, ammunition, and friends. 687 00:36:13,205 --> 00:36:16,206 You can't fight the law with guns. 688 00:36:16,241 --> 00:36:18,152 I don't think you have the proper respect 689 00:36:18,176 --> 00:36:20,020 for guns, Mr. Clemens. 690 00:36:20,044 --> 00:36:22,604 But you'd be surprised how many people have. 691 00:36:24,316 --> 00:36:26,249 Oh, I got a lot of respect for guns. 692 00:36:29,554 --> 00:36:31,054 Good balance. 693 00:36:31,089 --> 00:36:33,756 The thing is that sometimes you get right smack dab 694 00:36:33,791 --> 00:36:36,125 into a fight that you can't settle with guns. 695 00:36:36,160 --> 00:36:38,494 Or with, uh, fists. 696 00:36:38,529 --> 00:36:40,997 That's right. 697 00:36:41,032 --> 00:36:43,399 Now, if our hunch is correct, everything depends 698 00:36:43,435 --> 00:36:45,134 on defeating Billington in the election 699 00:36:45,170 --> 00:36:46,836 so he won't sell out to the railroad. 700 00:36:46,871 --> 00:36:48,849 Looks to me like we ought to get started 701 00:36:48,873 --> 00:36:50,784 then before the election. 702 00:36:50,808 --> 00:36:52,608 You can't defeat a politician with guns, 703 00:36:52,643 --> 00:36:55,745 but you might be able to with laughter. 704 00:36:55,780 --> 00:36:57,725 You mean, laugh him out of town? 705 00:36:57,749 --> 00:36:59,082 Something like that. 706 00:36:59,117 --> 00:37:01,751 Sometimes the pen is mightier than the sword. 707 00:37:01,786 --> 00:37:03,298 Well, I don't know, Mr. Clemens. 708 00:37:03,322 --> 00:37:05,989 I think I'd have to put my money on the sword. 709 00:37:06,024 --> 00:37:08,158 Yeah, if I was up against that crowd, I... 710 00:37:08,193 --> 00:37:09,904 I think I'd count on my guns. 711 00:37:09,928 --> 00:37:12,061 Well, wait a minute, boys. 712 00:37:12,097 --> 00:37:14,730 Sam, if you want to fight this thing out with your pen, 713 00:37:14,766 --> 00:37:16,232 well, that's up to you. 714 00:37:16,268 --> 00:37:18,167 But we'll be around with our guns 715 00:37:18,203 --> 00:37:19,603 to help you if you need us. 716 00:37:19,638 --> 00:37:21,337 Fair enough. 717 00:37:21,372 --> 00:37:22,716 You know, I sure would like to know 718 00:37:22,740 --> 00:37:23,951 how you're gonna go about it. 719 00:37:23,975 --> 00:37:27,744 Just keep reading the Territorial Enterprise. 720 00:37:43,328 --> 00:37:44,894 "Professor Personal Pronoun 721 00:37:44,930 --> 00:37:47,631 Runs For Office in Virginia City"... by Josh. 722 00:37:47,666 --> 00:37:50,700 "Jeremy C. Billington, friend of the miner, 723 00:37:50,736 --> 00:37:53,302 "the mill worker and the back alley dog, 724 00:37:53,338 --> 00:37:55,605 "spoke at a political rally last night. 725 00:37:55,641 --> 00:37:58,141 "Most of the speech was devoted to the nobility 726 00:37:58,176 --> 00:38:00,143 "of Mr. Billington himself. 727 00:38:00,178 --> 00:38:01,678 "An alarming number of sentences 728 00:38:01,713 --> 00:38:04,014 "began with the pronoun 'I', 729 00:38:04,049 --> 00:38:05,927 "which qualifies the Judge as a professor 730 00:38:05,951 --> 00:38:08,284 "on the subject of personal pronouns. 731 00:38:08,319 --> 00:38:11,220 "During the discourse, it was possible for this reporter 732 00:38:11,256 --> 00:38:14,390 "to discover that the professor is against sin, 733 00:38:14,425 --> 00:38:17,827 gravy on the vest, and overflowing water closets." 734 00:38:17,863 --> 00:38:19,741 Hey, this fellow Josh gets right to the seat 735 00:38:19,765 --> 00:38:22,064 of the trouble, don't he? 736 00:38:22,100 --> 00:38:23,332 I guess our friend Josh 737 00:38:23,368 --> 00:38:25,535 knows what he's doing, after all. 738 00:38:25,570 --> 00:38:28,304 Josh claims Professor Personal Pronoun will provide 739 00:38:28,339 --> 00:38:32,642 more free air, stronger zephyrs, taller mine mules. 740 00:38:32,677 --> 00:38:34,176 He's making a fool of you! 741 00:38:34,212 --> 00:38:35,745 That doesn't mean a thing! 742 00:38:35,780 --> 00:38:37,725 I'll beat Henry Walker by 3,000 votes! 743 00:38:37,749 --> 00:38:39,281 Billington, I've got too big a hand 744 00:38:39,317 --> 00:38:42,284 in this game to take chances! 745 00:38:42,320 --> 00:38:45,121 No quack newspaper reporter is going to stand 746 00:38:45,156 --> 00:38:47,557 between me and the Ponderosa. 747 00:39:23,261 --> 00:39:24,928 Doesn't look too bad. 748 00:39:24,963 --> 00:39:26,295 Well, you had enough? 749 00:39:26,330 --> 00:39:27,530 No, Bill. 750 00:39:27,566 --> 00:39:28,865 Billington's got to be beaten 751 00:39:28,900 --> 00:39:31,200 for the good of everyone in Virginia City. 752 00:39:31,235 --> 00:39:34,203 I think I might just have the story that'll do it. 753 00:39:39,143 --> 00:39:41,744 Sam?! Sam! 754 00:39:47,585 --> 00:39:49,485 I want to see Judge Billington. 755 00:39:49,521 --> 00:39:51,465 I think the Judge has retired. 756 00:39:51,489 --> 00:39:53,423 That's all right, he's expecting me. 757 00:40:23,054 --> 00:40:24,265 Who is it? 758 00:40:24,289 --> 00:40:26,200 I'm from Lash's office. 759 00:40:26,224 --> 00:40:28,591 It's about time. 760 00:40:28,627 --> 00:40:29,692 Is it in gold? 761 00:40:30,795 --> 00:40:32,695 Yes, it's gold, all right. 762 00:40:32,731 --> 00:40:34,975 We had to collect it from one of the gambling places. 763 00:40:34,999 --> 00:40:36,399 That's why I was late. 764 00:40:36,434 --> 00:40:37,600 Well, let me see it. 765 00:40:37,635 --> 00:40:38,701 Let me see it! 766 00:40:50,381 --> 00:40:53,315 "and there she stood, nightgown torn right off... 767 00:40:56,187 --> 00:40:57,987 "Gold pieces six inches deep 768 00:40:58,023 --> 00:41:00,990 around the prettiest bare feet in Virginia City." 769 00:41:01,026 --> 00:41:02,436 Wish I could've seen that! Oh! 770 00:41:04,462 --> 00:41:07,496 Uh... "Money may be the root of all evil, 771 00:41:07,532 --> 00:41:11,300 but a lady without a nightgown sure takes the curse off it." 772 00:41:11,335 --> 00:41:13,970 Oh! Oh, and how! 773 00:41:14,005 --> 00:41:18,474 "Maybe Mr. Daniel Lash's foreman has a case pending 774 00:41:18,509 --> 00:41:21,744 "in Professor Personal Pronoun's Court. 775 00:41:21,780 --> 00:41:23,880 "But if he has, we're sure this was 776 00:41:23,915 --> 00:41:26,716 just his tribute to feminine beauty." 777 00:41:28,787 --> 00:41:30,787 Beating up that reporter 778 00:41:30,822 --> 00:41:33,389 didn't stop him from writing more stories. 779 00:41:33,424 --> 00:41:35,124 Well, there's one way we can stop him 780 00:41:35,160 --> 00:41:37,626 from ever writing another line. 781 00:41:37,662 --> 00:41:39,807 That might be better all around. 782 00:41:39,831 --> 00:41:43,099 He won't amount to much as a writer anyway. 783 00:41:43,134 --> 00:41:44,801 I can make sure of that. 784 00:41:44,836 --> 00:41:48,004 Get him out of my way, permanently. 785 00:41:55,279 --> 00:42:00,282 My friends... My friends, in this election, 786 00:42:00,318 --> 00:42:03,819 do not allow yourselves to be tricked by the special interests 787 00:42:03,854 --> 00:42:06,356 spearheaded by a libelous newspaper 788 00:42:06,391 --> 00:42:09,992 determined to overthrow the will of the common people. 789 00:42:10,027 --> 00:42:11,827 If I am elected, 790 00:42:11,862 --> 00:42:16,465 we will drive these thieves of liberty out of Virginia City 791 00:42:16,500 --> 00:42:20,002 and once more, every man will be a king 792 00:42:20,038 --> 00:42:22,638 and every woman a queen. 793 00:42:22,673 --> 00:42:25,408 With deuces wild? 794 00:42:25,443 --> 00:42:27,610 My friends, my friends! 795 00:42:28,713 --> 00:42:30,446 Get up. My friends! 796 00:42:30,481 --> 00:42:32,181 Try anything and people get hurt. 797 00:42:32,216 --> 00:42:35,551 My friends, I believe in fair play. 798 00:42:35,586 --> 00:42:38,788 That's my motto, fair play. 799 00:42:38,823 --> 00:42:40,434 What do you charge for it, Billington, huh? 800 00:42:40,458 --> 00:42:44,427 My friends, my friends, do not believe the lies 801 00:42:44,462 --> 00:42:46,930 perpetrated by a man who refuses 802 00:42:46,965 --> 00:42:49,799 to sign his own name to his articles, 803 00:42:49,834 --> 00:42:53,102 but insists on being called "Josh." 804 00:42:54,606 --> 00:42:56,706 My friends, my friends, listen to me! 805 00:42:58,576 --> 00:43:00,910 You've known me all your lives, my friends. 806 00:43:00,945 --> 00:43:02,344 Oh, shut up. 807 00:43:02,380 --> 00:43:03,846 Your friends, my eye. 808 00:43:03,882 --> 00:43:05,348 Let's get out of here! 809 00:43:40,418 --> 00:43:41,851 Where's Sam Clemens? 810 00:43:41,886 --> 00:43:43,753 He's covering the political rally. 811 00:43:43,788 --> 00:43:46,055 Aren't you folks taking a big chance, coming into town? 812 00:43:46,091 --> 00:43:48,035 Apparently not as much of a chance as Sam Clemens. 813 00:43:48,059 --> 00:43:49,458 We heard he was beaten up. 814 00:43:49,494 --> 00:43:50,972 Didn't stop him, he's still going strong. 815 00:43:50,996 --> 00:43:52,873 Yeah, but how long can he keep on taking it? 816 00:44:01,272 --> 00:44:02,771 Come over here! 817 00:44:13,718 --> 00:44:14,917 You need some help. 818 00:44:14,952 --> 00:44:16,229 That must've been quite a rally! 819 00:44:16,253 --> 00:44:18,253 I gotta get this story on the presses. 820 00:44:18,523 --> 00:44:20,322 All right, now! 821 00:44:26,464 --> 00:44:28,063 Got to get this story out. 822 00:44:28,099 --> 00:44:29,877 Sounds like you started a riot! What happened? 823 00:44:29,901 --> 00:44:31,434 Read about it in your next edition. 824 00:44:31,469 --> 00:44:35,137 Adam, Joe, you're next. 825 00:44:35,172 --> 00:44:36,205 Go! 826 00:44:41,045 --> 00:44:43,813 Knock off a fast proof, will you? 827 00:44:57,328 --> 00:44:59,795 Hey, Josh, I sure am anxious to read that story. 828 00:44:59,830 --> 00:45:01,797 Josh. 829 00:45:01,832 --> 00:45:03,066 That's what's wrong! 830 00:45:03,101 --> 00:45:04,578 What's wrong? 831 00:45:04,602 --> 00:45:06,302 I knew it all along. 832 00:45:06,337 --> 00:45:07,503 It just wasn't right. 833 00:45:07,538 --> 00:45:08,671 Hey, don't stop writing! 834 00:45:08,706 --> 00:45:09,872 Come on, finish it! 835 00:45:09,907 --> 00:45:12,141 For Pete's sake, Sam, finish the story! 836 00:45:16,247 --> 00:45:17,213 Come on! 837 00:45:17,248 --> 00:45:19,415 Hoss! 838 00:45:35,466 --> 00:45:37,366 C'mon, go that way. 839 00:45:38,402 --> 00:45:40,569 You know, Joe, when I was a boy 840 00:45:40,604 --> 00:45:42,504 living on the banks of the Mississippi, 841 00:45:42,540 --> 00:45:45,241 I used to dream about becoming a river pilot someday. 842 00:45:45,276 --> 00:45:47,977 Well, dream about it some other time. 843 00:45:49,480 --> 00:45:51,013 Hurry up with that darn story! 844 00:45:51,049 --> 00:45:53,348 Hoss, watch the back door! 845 00:45:55,286 --> 00:45:57,453 Josh, get down! 846 00:45:59,824 --> 00:46:01,368 You'd have to live on the Mississippi 847 00:46:01,392 --> 00:46:02,603 to know what it's really like. 848 00:46:02,627 --> 00:46:06,028 The way those big old boats come down the river, 849 00:46:06,064 --> 00:46:09,031 the leadsman standing out there on the bow, 850 00:46:09,067 --> 00:46:12,534 taking the depth and singing it out to the pilot on the bridge. 851 00:46:12,570 --> 00:46:16,138 On a summer evening, it, uh, has the sound of music. 852 00:46:22,013 --> 00:46:23,479 Music? 853 00:46:23,514 --> 00:46:25,359 You don't get that story finished, the only thing 854 00:46:25,383 --> 00:46:27,943 you're gonna hear is a funeral march. 855 00:46:32,824 --> 00:46:35,457 I can still hear it. 856 00:46:35,493 --> 00:46:38,761 "Mark four!" 857 00:46:38,797 --> 00:46:41,563 "Mark three!" 858 00:46:41,599 --> 00:46:44,433 "Quarter less three!" 859 00:46:44,468 --> 00:46:46,101 "Half twain!" 860 00:46:46,136 --> 00:46:49,605 "Quarter twain!" 861 00:46:49,640 --> 00:46:51,773 "Mark Twain!" 862 00:47:15,533 --> 00:47:17,366 Joe, I've got it! 863 00:47:17,401 --> 00:47:19,580 You sure almost did get it, Mr. Clemens. 864 00:47:19,604 --> 00:47:20,736 No, you don't understand. 865 00:47:20,771 --> 00:47:22,549 I mean, I've finally found my name. 866 00:47:22,573 --> 00:47:24,540 Ain't your name Samuel Clemens? 867 00:47:24,575 --> 00:47:26,808 No, Hoss, I mean my pen name. 868 00:47:26,844 --> 00:47:28,144 Mark Twain. 869 00:47:28,179 --> 00:47:29,912 That means river running clear, 870 00:47:29,947 --> 00:47:31,914 two fathoms of water beneath the keel. 871 00:47:31,949 --> 00:47:34,483 That's what river men call real clear sailing. 872 00:47:34,518 --> 00:47:35,918 Everything's pretty clear 873 00:47:35,954 --> 00:47:37,914 around here right now, Mr. Clemens. 874 00:47:40,691 --> 00:47:43,326 I don't know about that name, Mark Twain. 875 00:47:43,361 --> 00:47:46,095 Seem to me like I've heard a lot better names than that before. 876 00:47:46,130 --> 00:47:48,965 You sure that's a fitting name for a writer? 877 00:47:49,000 --> 00:47:50,377 Well, I don't know, Hoss. 878 00:47:50,401 --> 00:47:52,012 We'll just have to give it a try. 879 00:47:52,036 --> 00:47:53,636 You got the finish of that story, Sam? 880 00:47:53,671 --> 00:47:56,105 Everything but the byline. 881 00:47:56,140 --> 00:47:58,207 Sign it... "Mark Twain." 882 00:47:58,242 --> 00:47:59,842 Mark Twain? 883 00:47:59,877 --> 00:48:01,410 Well, it's better than Josh. 884 00:48:01,445 --> 00:48:03,846 What happened to Samuel Clemens? 885 00:48:03,881 --> 00:48:06,026 I guess we've seen the last of Sam Clemens. 886 00:48:06,050 --> 00:48:07,383 You know something? 887 00:48:07,418 --> 00:48:08,784 I like it. 888 00:48:08,819 --> 00:48:10,486 Mark Twain. 889 00:48:12,523 --> 00:48:14,457 Mark Twain. 890 00:48:20,431 --> 00:48:23,665 Here she is, Sam, hot off the press. 891 00:48:23,701 --> 00:48:27,203 "Professor Personal Pronoun Won't be Around Anymore." 892 00:48:28,472 --> 00:48:29,438 By Mark Twain. 893 00:48:29,473 --> 00:48:30,984 That was quite a fight, Sam. 894 00:48:31,008 --> 00:48:32,641 Yeah, I guess you were right at that, 895 00:48:32,676 --> 00:48:34,043 the pen is mightier than the sword. 896 00:48:34,078 --> 00:48:35,755 Anytime you wanna visit Virginia City again, 897 00:48:35,779 --> 00:48:37,090 you just write us and let us know. 898 00:48:37,114 --> 00:48:39,715 And be sure to sign it "Mark Twain" so we know who it is. 899 00:48:39,750 --> 00:48:41,850 Bye, Sam! I sure will. 900 00:48:41,886 --> 00:48:43,852 I'll sign it... "Mark Twain." 61655

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