Original subtitles

[Child's laughter]

So whose turn is it tonight?

Girl: Tucker.

Where is your sweet little bro?

You mean he isn't here yet?

I knew that little puke was gonna be trouble.

Don't worry. He's here.

[Cell phone rings]

[Ring]

Am I missing something?

[Ring]

[Ring]

Tucker?

Yeah.

We're all set.

OK.

[Beep]

Go.

Can everybody hear me?

Yeah.

Yeah.

OK. I'm telling my story this way,

'cause if you think about it,

a telephone is probably the scariest thing in your house.

Boy: Say what?

You might feel safe with your doors and windows locked,

but all someone has to do is dial your number.

You answer the phone, and bingo, they're inside.

But it's just their voice.

Yeah, but when you pick up that phone,

you made a connection,

and it might be to a place

that you don't want to be connected to.

Do you have the pouch?

All set.

Submitted for the approval of the Midnight Society,

I call this story...

The Tale of the Phone Police.

[Footsteps]

Man: Hello?

You go.

What are you scared of?

Woman: Hello?

Yeah, uh...

Hello.

This is the acme appliance company.

Is your refrigerator running?

Yeah.

You better run after it before it gets away.

Lame.

Very lame.

Listen and learn, my friend.

Woman: Hello?

And hello to you, ma'am!

This is radio station kzit--k-zit--

and you have just been selected

to be one of our lucky contestants.

Now, to qualify for an all-expense-paid dream vacation,

all you have to do is answer one easy question.

Woman: What kind of question?

Listen carefully. In centimeters,

exactly how wide is Antarctica?

You have 10 seconds.

Come on, Jake. It's not funny.

Hurry, ma'am.

Don't let this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity slip away.

Oh, dear!

I--I--I really don't know.

You have 4...

3...

2...1...

Caught ya!

What are you doing?

No, what are you doing, making crank calls again?

No. I was trying to get Mum and Dad.

Look, pal,

I'm in charge here while they're on vacation,

so stop acting like a little wart!

I can't believe you're letting him

talk you into this stuff.

You're not gonna tell Mum and Dad, are you?

Forget Mum and Dad.

You're gonna get tagged by the Phone Police, you zero.

Phone Police?

What are the Phone Police?

You're kidding, right?

You've never heard of the Phone Police?

Uh... no.

Well, the phone has certain rules of operation.

You don't leave it off the hook.

You don't let it ring too long,

and you don't make stupid calls

like my blunt little brother.

She's making this up.

You think so, eh?

Oh. Keep messing with the phone,

and you'll end up like the Baxter kid.

Who's the Baxter kid?

Billy Baxter.

Happened a long time ago.

He was making crank calls,

and the Phone Police got him.

Oh, gimme a break!

It's true.

They never saw him again.

How do you know all this?

Hmph.

Everybody knows about the Baxter kid,

except you, my vacant sibling.

Ha.

You mess with the phone,

you answer to the Phone Police.

Wanna make a call?

I gotta go.

Good thing one of you guys has some brains.

Chris, you don't believe that stuff, do you?

It doesn't matter. It's no fun, anyway. See you tomorrow.

Chris.

The Phone Police. Yeah, right.

Stupid.

"A...Amis...Angelo.

"B.

"Ben.

Billy Baxter"?

It's only got 6 numbers.

This won't work.

Hello?

[Static] Man: Help me.

Someone, please! Help--

[telephone rings]

[Ring]

Hello?

[Static] Man: Hey, kid.

I know you can hear me.

You gotta help me, please--

[ring]

[Ring]

[Ring]

[Static]

[Dial tone]

[Ring]

[Ring]

[Static]

[Ring]

Who are you? What do you want?

Man: You know who I am.

You called me. It's Billy Baxter.

You've gotta help me.

[Ring]

Please help me!

[Ring]

Please!

[Static]

It musta been Annie.

It musta been Annie pulling your chain.

It was unplugged, Chris. How could she make it ring?

I don't know. Maybe it was a dream.

[Telephone rings]

Can't be!

[Ring]

So answer it.

No way! You answer it.

[Ring]

[Ring]

Hello?

That guy last night, did he sound like this?

[Static] Help! You gotta get me out!

Lose this!

We gotta do something.

Number 1-1-8 to maintenance.

Number 1-1-8 to maintenance.

Ahem. Excuse me.

Yes.

How can we find out where this number comes from?

There's only 6 numbers,

and we thought it was foreign or something.

It's not foreign. It's old and discontinued.

It can't be.

We just called it and got somebody.

You called this number and got an answer?

Well, sorta. It was more like static,

but someone was there.

Then they started calling me back.

The records department is in the basement.

They'll take care of you.

Thanks.

Number 12, call 4-2-2-9.

4-2-2-9.

Now what?

There.

[Ding]

[Door closes]

Where's the number?

Yeah? What can I do for you?

The lady upstairs

said you could tell us who has this number.

Hmm.

I see.

Ha. We don't get very many of these nowadays.

Come on back.

Using the phone to tell a couple of jokes, eh?

What?

Just stand there, young fella.

We'll take care of ya.

[Whispers] What's goin' on?

[Footsteps approaching]

Jake O'Brian.

Phone Police.

What?!

Hey!

[Muffled screams]

Hey!

Lemme outta here! What is this?

You'll figure it out.

I know, 'cause you're a real smart kid!

You got here quicker than anyone ever has!

[Menacingly] Ha ha ha ha ha!

Help! Chris! Somebody help!

[Telephone rings]

[Ring]

Hello?

[Static] Don't bother shouting.

No one can hear you. I know. I've tried.

Who is this?

Have you forgotten already? It's Billy Baxter.

Oh, man, what is this place?

Why am I here?

You never should have messed with the phone.

Now they've got you.

No! I'm gonna call my parents.

Not on that phone. It only takes incoming calls.

But you called me.

That's 'cause you called me first.

Maybe you'll be lucky. Stay on the phone.

Someone might hear you someday. Ha ha ha!

Wait! Don't hang up.

[Dial tone]

Yeah, yeah. Hang on.

Annie, Annie! They got Jake!

Just like you said!

It's the Phone Police!

We went down to the phone company--

Who are you, and how do you know my name?

What? It's me!

Get out of here before I phone the police.

It's me, Chris, Jake's friend. They got him.

I don't know you, and I don't know any Jake.

I'm calling the cops.

Wait! Jake's your brother!

What is with you?

Look, I don't have any brother, OK?

Now get outta here!

You're not kidding, are you?

No, I'm not kidding! I'll bean you!

Hey!

I'll prove it to you...

This is Jake's bed... room.

Are you gonna get out, or do I call the cops?

The cops. Yeah. You told us a story about the Phone Police

and a kid named Billy Baxter.

You know the story?

Yeah, I know it.

Except the way I heard it,

they got a kid named O'Brian,

a Jake O'Brian.

Jake O'Brian?

No! Let me go!

Lemme go!

I didn't do anything.

I swear it was just a joke!

Nobody got hurt!

Oh, man! Those guys work fast.

[Ring]

Leave me alone, you crazy old--

Jake, take it easy. It's me.

Chris! Get me outta here, man! This place is nuts.

I didn't do anything wrong! You gotta help me!

Whoa! Calm down.

Get Annie! Get my parents!

Uh...I can't do that, Jake.

Why not? You gotta do something,

or I'll be stuck here forever.

This whole thing is weirder than you even know.

I'm scared, Chris.

Me, too. But I got a plan.

Maybe we can beat the phone police at their own game.

[Telephone rings]

[Ring]

Hello.

[Ring]

[Ringing]

[Ringing]

[Ring]

Answer the phone!

[Ring]

Hey, kid, I told ya,

answer the phone!

[Ring]

[Ring]

[Ring]

[Ring]

[Ring]

[Ring]

[Ring]

[Ring]

Hey, you!

Answer the phone.

Listen, kid.

You think you've got it bad now,

just you wait!

[Ring]

That's it!

You've had it!

[Ring]

Aah!

Let's get outta here!

[Ring]

Forget it, kid! No one gets away from the Phone Police!

Wait.

Come on!

[Slam]

No!

This way.

Oh, man! They're all over the place.

There they are!

This way.

We're dead!

We're not giving up now.

Yes!

We got it!

We're outta here.

We're--

trapped.

There!

Now where did they--

OK.

Coast is clear.

Come on.

[Siren]

Thanks, man. I'm glad to be outta there.

[Wheels screech]

Run!

We made it. You saved me, man.

OK. Listen.

I gotta tell you something.

After you got caught,

I went to your house, and--aah!

What's wrong with you guys?

This is Jake, Annie, your brother.

You gotta remember him now.

Where do you get these friends from, Jake.

Do you, uh, order them from the back of comics?

You remember him? You know who he is?

Yeah. In fact, I'd like to forget him if I could.

I don't believe this.

Jake, your room's back to normal.

What are you two yams talking about?

[Doorbell] Don't answer it!

You two are losin' it.

Annie, don't! It's the Phone Police.

Phone Police? Airhead, I made that up.

But it's true! They got me.

Yeah, I wish. Ha.

Pizza.

One jumbo, extra cheese, all dressed, hold the anchovies.

Did you guys order a pizza?

Oh, jeez, sorry.

It's 238, not 328.

Night.

I can't believe you guys bought that story about the Phone Police.

Talk about gullible.

I'm gonna lie down.

I'm exhausted.

It did happen, though, didn't it?

[Ring]

[Ring]

Man: Ha ha ha ha ha!

Jake and Chris never made another crank call

'cause they were never sure

if the Phone Police were really real,

or if they could believe anything else

they ever saw... again.

The end!

[Laughter]

Excellent, Tucker. The.

Great story, Tuck.

Great story.

I declare this meeting of the Midnight Society

closed.

[Ring]

[Together] I'll get it!

[Ring]

Ha ha.

[Ring]

[Ring]

[Ring]

Captioned by Grant Brown